1
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Family Guy S06E08:
McStroke
2
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Mom, where's Dad?
3
00:00:39,344 --> 00:00:40,759
Over across the street.
4
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,221
He's collecting Cleveland's
mail while he's out of town.
5
00:00:43,256 --> 00:00:44,478
Black guy mail.
6
00:00:44,513 --> 00:00:47,097
Peter, you're just supposed
to pick up Cleveland's mail,
7
00:00:47,132 --> 00:00:48,211
not go through it.
8
00:00:48,246 --> 00:00:50,544
Lois, black people are
different than you and I.
9
00:00:50,579 --> 00:00:52,554
And me, I find
that hilarious.
10
00:00:52,698 --> 00:00:55,282
Boy, Cleveland gets
a lot of magazines.
11
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,000
Grape Soda Today.
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Orange Soda Quarterly.
13
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The Fruit Punch Reader.
14
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Hey, what you got
there, Stewie?
15
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Ooh, Mustache Aficionado.
16
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,341
Wow, look at these men.
17
00:01:07,406 --> 00:01:09,213
What class, what grace.
18
00:01:09,358 --> 00:01:11,650
And all because
of a little upper lip hair.
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00:01:11,685 --> 00:01:12,350
Lois,
20
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I am going grow a mustache.
21
00:01:14,526 --> 00:01:16,821
Then I'll have it made
like the Monopoly guy.
22
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Except when he goes
directly to jail.
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I wish I could tell you
that the Monopoly guy
24
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fought the good fight
and the Sisters let him be.
25
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I wish I could tell you that.
26
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But prison is no
fairy-tale world.
27
00:01:34,487 --> 00:01:36,273
Hey, Rupert,
what if the refrigerator
28
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was a monster that
talked like this?
29
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I am a monster.
30
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I am going to bite
your fingers.
31
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Here I come.
32
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I'm going to get you.
33
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:46,002
Ah! I don't want to play anymore
34
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Normal voice, normal voice!
35
00:01:47,187 --> 00:01:48,261
The refrigerator can't hurt me.
36
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Okay?
37
00:01:49,846 --> 00:01:52,281
Oh, my God, Dad,
what's on your face?
38
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It's a mustache, Meg.
39
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Oh, I think it's sexy.
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I think it's gay.
41
00:01:57,515 --> 00:01:58,573
It's not gay, Brian.
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If I'm gay, then
Freddie Mercury was gay.
43
00:02:00,797 --> 00:02:02,912
Freddie Mercury
the lead singer of Queen?
44
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He was incredibly gay.
45
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He was not!
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He had a mustache
which is practically like a wedding ring
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I imagine you're going to be
much more of a stern father,
48
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now that you have a mustache.
49
00:02:11,676 --> 00:02:14,250
Well, Chris, there may be more lap sitting
than there's been.
50
00:02:14,297 --> 00:02:16,843
And I might answer most of
your questions with a story.
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But, mostly, my mustache tells people
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that there is a 90% chance
that I am poorly educated,
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that I keep upscale porn
magazines out on the open
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and that I listen to the Little River Band
with giant headphones.
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Ugh! That's the ugliest thing the Fat Man's grown
since that horse leg.
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00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:33,353
Hey, Peter, have you seen my...
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Aw, Brian, I'm sorry,
but what do I keep saying?
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Do not stand behind me.
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Because I will get scared.
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And now back to One Tree Hill.
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Dude, let me tell
you something:
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There is nothing that'll ever
happen in the rest of our lives
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that's as important as what's
going on right here, right now,
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in high school,
by these lockers.
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I've got so many problems.
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00:02:59,207 --> 00:03:02,643
Hey, nothing that can't be
fixed by staring at a lake.
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00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:10,202
High school is such a serious thing
These problems matter.
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00:03:11,697 --> 00:03:13,841
God, these high school
students are lame.
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I'm a freakin' baby, and
I'm cooler than they are.
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What the hell do you
know about high school?
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Are you kidding?
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These kids today are
so easy to manipulate.
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If you plopped me in
the middle of a high school,
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I could be the most popular
kid there in a week.
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00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:26,051
Really?
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00:03:26,345 --> 00:03:28,353
Would you care to place
a wager on that?
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Absolutely. What are the stakes?
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00:03:29,787 --> 00:03:32,941
Okay, if I win and you can't do it,
you have to put your nose in
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Meg's hat and take a
deep second inhale
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Okay, it's a bet.
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Great!
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00:03:37,118 --> 00:03:38,002
- Kiss on it?
- What?
83
00:03:43,578 --> 00:03:45,582
Wow, Dad,
you're up early.
84
00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:47,592
Yep, it's a mustache kind
of morning, Chris.
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00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:49,880
I watched the Sun
rise in my jeans,
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00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:51,611
jean shirt and jean jacket.
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00:03:51,756 --> 00:03:54,482
Gosh, mustache culture
is pretty cool.
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You betcha, son!
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I'm gonna make you some
hash browns for breakfast,
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and then, later, I'm gonna take
you down to the whorehouse
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00:03:59,977 --> 00:04:01,231
to lose your virginity.
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00:04:01,266 --> 00:04:02,091
Would you like that?
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Would I?!
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00:04:02,955 --> 00:04:04,780
Wow, that's a way
better present
95
00:04:04,825 --> 00:04:07,550
than that buff hamster
you got me last Christmas.
96
00:04:08,988 --> 00:04:11,573
Dad, all it's done is run
on that wheel
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00:04:11,608 --> 00:04:12,681
for the past three weeks.
98
00:04:12,727 --> 00:04:14,583
Yeah, looks like it's
in pretty good shape.
99
00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:15,730
Can I pick it up?
100
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I wouldn't.
101
00:04:19,616 --> 00:04:21,910
Boy, you know, I've always
wanted to come in here,
102
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and now that I got a mustache,
the timing feels right.
103
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Wow, all this stuff looks
pretty good!
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00:04:26,218 --> 00:04:27,722
Can we get some
salami, and...
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Brian, Brian,
let me handle this.
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Uh, scuzzi.
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00:04:30,235 --> 00:04:31,100
Bah buh-da boopy?
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00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,180
Peter, what are you doing?
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Speaking Italian.
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Ba-ba-da boopy?
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Ba-boo-ba-da-bee-ba-da-ba-bada.
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Peter, you can't
speak Italian
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just because you
have a mustache.
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Bo buh-da boppa!
Bo ba ba be beep!
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All right, dog, here we go.
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Prepare to lose a bet,
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'cause I'm about to become
the most popular boy in school.
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00:05:05,108 --> 00:05:07,573
Uh, excuse me, pardon me,
are you the cool children?
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Yeah!
Who are you?
120
00:05:09,155 --> 00:05:10,581
My name is Zac Sawyer.
121
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I just transferred here from
the rich
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expensive, car-driving,
sex haven high school
123
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Whoa. That sounds awesome!
124
00:05:18,058 --> 00:05:19,923
No, it's lame.
Everything's lame
125
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Wow, if he says one
more cool thing, he's in!
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I wear long-sleeve shirts
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under short-sleeve shirts,
under long-sleeve shirts.
128
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- Wow, you're awesome!
- That's so cool!
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You've check-mated my
teenage cynicism!
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Excellent!
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I'm a bigger hit with the
kids than Will Smith
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and his vice-clean rap.
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# I respect women, #
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# When I'm on my date, #
135
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# I take 'em to the park
and then to the museum #
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# And I'll only try and kiss 'em
if they are ready #
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# What-what, wha-wha what #
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# Help out your mom and dad
by getting a blowjob #
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# So you can help pay for school #
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# Say loud, say whoo! #
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# Wipe your shoes on my mat
when you're comin in the house #
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# Someone just clean that floor! #
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# Say what-what, ha-ha.#
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Peter, don't you think you're kinda letting that mustache
consume your personality?
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Shut up, Brian!
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I am part of a very
special community now.
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People with mustaches
look out for each other.
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Hey.
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Oh, hey!
150
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Hey!
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00:06:22,908 --> 00:06:25,540
Hey, Jeffrey, Peter Griffin
has a mustache!
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- No way!
- Way.
153
00:06:27,466 --> 00:06:29,270
- Oh!
- I know!
154
00:06:30,135 --> 00:06:33,001
Oh my God, Peter, look!
McBurgerTown is on fire!
155
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It's out of control!
156
00:06:36,887 --> 00:06:39,111
We need someone to man
the other hose!
157
00:06:39,146 --> 00:06:41,332
Hey, that guy has
a mustache! Grab him!
158
00:06:41,765 --> 00:06:43,773
We need your help!
Take this hose!
159
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Help!
160
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Oh, my God!
There's somebody trapped inside!
161
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Wait, if I go in there,
I could get hurt.
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No! No, with great mustache
comes great responsibility.
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My mustache!
164
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No!
165
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God bless you, sir,
you saved my life.
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But at what cost?
167
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At what cost?!
168
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,260
Peter, have you
seen Brian?
169
00:07:22,298 --> 00:07:24,380
No, Lois,
I have not.
170
00:07:24,416 --> 00:07:27,001
Well, I haven't seen him
since this morning and I..
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00:07:27,305 --> 00:07:28,802
What is that on your head?
172
00:07:28,836 --> 00:07:30,260
It's a mustache, Lois.
173
00:07:30,307 --> 00:07:32,131
What, you never seen
a mustache before?
174
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:34,172
Lois, would you mind calling the police
or something?
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Quiet, mustache!
176
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Oh, my God!
177
00:07:36,185 --> 00:07:38,481
Peter, I know you're upset
about losing that thing,
178
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,060
but get a grip on yourself.
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00:07:40,105 --> 00:07:41,070
Let Brian down.
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00:07:41,256 --> 00:07:44,083
No. I'm not living my
life without a mustache.
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Even if, sometimes, my mustache
has Alpo gas
182
00:07:47,715 --> 00:07:49,110
Mustache fart.
183
00:07:51,128 --> 00:07:53,131
Hello, I'm looking
for Peter Griffin.
184
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:53,961
I'm Peter Griffin.
185
00:07:53,998 --> 00:07:55,972
Mr. Griffin, my name
is Todd Meyers.
186
00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:58,262
I'm the man you rescued
from McBurgerTown.
187
00:07:58,306 --> 00:08:00,801
Oh yeah, you're the guy
who cost me my mustache.
188
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,312
What, you come over here to rape
my daughter?
189
00:08:03,328 --> 00:08:06,593
No, I own the restaurant,
and to show my gratitude,
190
00:08:06,638 --> 00:08:11,001
I'd like to offer you
a lifetime supply of McBurgerTown burgers.
191
00:08:11,805 --> 00:08:12,913
Free burgers?
192
00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:16,532
Oh, man, this is a way better offer
than the one I got from Helen Hunt.
193
00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:18,263
You wanna have sex?
194
00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:20,273
No...
195
00:08:20,556 --> 00:08:25,011
No, no, no, no... No!
196
00:08:25,157 --> 00:08:26,300
No..
197
00:08:30,616 --> 00:08:32,181
Peter, you should
really slow down.
198
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:33,761
You've already had
like 30 hamburgers.
199
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:34,453
Shut up, Brian.
200
00:08:34,488 --> 00:08:36,781
It relieves the pain
of mustachelessness.
201
00:08:37,505 --> 00:08:38,611
And it's working.
202
00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:40,340
I no longer feel the pain.
203
00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:42,670
Come to think of it,
I can't really feel anything
204
00:08:42,706 --> 00:08:44,252
on the left half of my body.
205
00:08:44,286 --> 00:08:44,963
Really?
206
00:08:45,007 --> 00:08:46,541
That doesn't sound good.
207
00:08:46,906 --> 00:08:48,550
Peter, are you
winking at me?
208
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,442
Oh, my God, someone
call an ambulance!
209
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,941
Doctor, what happened?
210
00:08:57,987 --> 00:08:59,293
Is he gonna be okay?
211
00:08:59,328 --> 00:09:01,873
Mrs. Griffin, your husband
has had a stroke.
212
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,921
The left half of his body
is completely paralyzed.
213
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,222
Oh, my God!
214
00:09:06,366 --> 00:09:08,511
Peter, sweetheart,
how do you feel?
215
00:09:08,665 --> 00:09:11,243
Uh... had better days, Lois.
216
00:09:11,286 --> 00:09:12,820
Had better days.
217
00:09:15,985 --> 00:09:17,700
Mom, it's been three months.
218
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,750
When is Dad gonna
get better?
219
00:09:19,795 --> 00:09:22,120
Chris, I've already
explained this to you.
220
00:09:22,168 --> 00:09:25,603
Your father had a stroke
and it may take him a long time to recover.
221
00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:26,860
Lois!
222
00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:28,833
Bring me another beer, please!
223
00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:36,160
Uh, Lois,
you mind telling me
224
00:09:36,207 --> 00:09:38,520
what the hell you
think you're doing?
225
00:09:38,565 --> 00:09:40,003
I'm handing you a beer.
226
00:09:40,036 --> 00:09:42,801
You are handing it
to my stroke arm.
227
00:09:42,837 --> 00:09:45,851
This is my good arm!
Bring the beer over here!
228
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:47,602
That's better.
229
00:09:52,746 --> 00:09:55,322
So, I'm shaving last night
at this make-out party.
230
00:09:55,366 --> 00:09:56,443
I took a bunch of pictures.
231
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:58,450
You can see them on
my MySpace page,
232
00:09:58,486 --> 00:10:00,781
along with my favorite songs
and movies and things
233
00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:02,181
that other people have created,
234
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,233
but that I use to
express my individualism.
235
00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:06,111
I have a MySpace page, too.
236
00:10:06,157 --> 00:10:07,750
Yeah, I have mine ironically.
237
00:10:07,788 --> 00:10:09,351
Hey, why don't you
guys get lost.
238
00:10:09,386 --> 00:10:10,800
I have to talk to Connie.
239
00:10:13,135 --> 00:10:14,601
- Hey, guess what?
- What?
240
00:10:14,637 --> 00:10:15,262
That's what.
241
00:10:15,308 --> 00:10:16,231
No, but seriously,
242
00:10:16,278 --> 00:10:17,732
there's something I want
to talk to you about.
243
00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:19,991
Sure, Zac.
Anything for you.
244
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:21,750
You wanna go out to
Anal Point this weekend,
245
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,303
see what all the
buzz is about?
246
00:10:23,338 --> 00:10:24,872
OMG!
247
00:10:24,905 --> 00:10:27,061
- That'd be so awesome!
- Sweet!
248
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,183
We're gonna have
a real ragin' time.
249
00:10:29,218 --> 00:10:31,381
Before you know it,
we'll be like an old married couple.
250
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,153
- Uh, Lois?
- Yeah?
251
00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:01,500
Uh, Peter's getting in the car.
252
00:11:07,308 --> 00:11:08,462
# ...baffled, trumped,
tethered, cropped #
253
00:11:08,508 --> 00:11:12,292
# Look at that low plane,
fine then, uh-oh, overflow #
254
00:11:12,328 --> 00:11:14,013
# Population, common food,
but it'll do #
255
00:11:14,055 --> 00:11:15,063
# Shave yourself,
serve yourself, #
256
00:11:15,106 --> 00:11:17,423
# World serves its own needs,
listen to your heartbeat, #
257
00:11:17,466 --> 00:11:20,103
# Dummy with the rapture and the
revered and the right, right, #
258
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,650
# Your vitriolic, patriotic,
slam, fight, bright light, #
259
00:11:22,685 --> 00:11:24,461
# Feeling pretty psyched, #
260
00:11:24,506 --> 00:11:28,663
# It's the end of the world
as we know it, #
261
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:36,990
Stroke, stroke, stroke!
262
00:11:37,028 --> 00:11:39,000
Stop mocking me!
263
00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:45,280
Well, Brian, you've
lost your bet.
264
00:11:45,328 --> 00:11:48,150
I- or rather, my
alter ego, Zac Sawyer-
265
00:11:48,198 --> 00:11:51,060
am currently the most popular boy
at James Woods High.
266
00:11:51,408 --> 00:11:53,583
Well, Stewie, you got
the best of me on this one.
267
00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:54,803
Congratulations!
268
00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:56,803
I guess you'll be
hanging up your wig now?
269
00:11:56,845 --> 00:11:57,630
Oh, no, Brian.
270
00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:59,353
I'm enjoying myself to much
271
00:11:59,397 --> 00:12:01,083
Do you know that
I've got a date
272
00:12:01,118 --> 00:12:03,983
with Connie D'Amico
this Saturday night, at Anal Point?
273
00:12:04,108 --> 00:12:05,953
Ah, I've heard
about that place.
274
00:12:05,988 --> 00:12:06,991
Really? What's it like?
275
00:12:07,036 --> 00:12:08,001
'Cause I have no idea.
276
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:13,170
Well, uh, I suppose if you imagine it
like a parking space that you think,
277
00:12:13,215 --> 00:12:15,472
"Gosh, there's no way
I'm gonna be able to fit in there."
278
00:12:16,008 --> 00:12:17,902
But then you fold in
the sideview mirrors and
279
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,491
sure enough, well, look at that.
280
00:12:19,616 --> 00:12:21,501
Well, in that scenario,
it sounds like I'd rather be
281
00:12:21,546 --> 00:12:22,903
the parking space
than the car.
282
00:12:22,945 --> 00:12:24,661
Yeah, that's what
I've always guessed.
283
00:12:28,686 --> 00:12:30,983
I hate being all strokey.
284
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:33,851
This is all your fault,
McBurgerTown.
285
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:36,452
You and your delicious hamburgers!
286
00:12:36,495 --> 00:12:39,020
I swear I'll get back
at you someday
287
00:12:39,315 --> 00:12:42,432
for what you did to me
and what you did to Wimpy.
288
00:12:42,478 --> 00:12:47,893
I would gladly pay you Tuesday
for a hamburger today.
289
00:12:47,926 --> 00:12:52,231
If only there were some way
I could be like everybody else again.
290
00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:08,603
How long was I in there?
291
00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:09,711
About five minutes.
292
00:13:09,757 --> 00:13:12,053
Why are we not funding this?
293
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,782
Sweetheart, that's incredible.
294
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,623
And it only took five minutes?
295
00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:20,573
Five minutes. I went in there,
they injected me
296
00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:22,500
with a little bit of
that fetal crap, and bam
297
00:13:22,538 --> 00:13:24,062
good ol' gambling man Peter.
298
00:13:24,108 --> 00:13:26,693
And now I can
take my revenge on McBurgerTown.
299
00:13:26,736 --> 00:13:27,521
Wait. What?
300
00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,561
It's their fault
I had a stroke, Brian.
301
00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:31,161
And I'm gonna sue 'em for it.
302
00:13:31,306 --> 00:13:32,723
Peter, you ate 30 hamburgers.
303
00:13:32,766 --> 00:13:33,842
It was your own fault.
304
00:13:33,878 --> 00:13:35,123
Yeah, besides, Peter,
305
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:37,601
those companies have
huge legal divisions.
306
00:13:37,645 --> 00:13:38,752
You can't fight that.
307
00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:40,762
I'll find a way with the help
308
00:13:40,808 --> 00:13:42,203
of my snarky cat lawyer
309
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,312
Meowsy McDermott.
310
00:13:43,358 --> 00:13:45,071
You've got to be kitten me!
311
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,511
Ha!
312
00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:53,741
This court finds in
favor of the defendant,
313
00:13:53,747 --> 00:13:55,121
McBurgerTown Industries.
314
00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:57,151
What?! Hey, come on!
That's not fair!
315
00:13:57,187 --> 00:13:59,112
Mr. Griffin, what did you expect?
316
00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:01,033
They have a hundred lawyers,
317
00:14:01,035 --> 00:14:02,712
and you tried to bribe me
318
00:14:02,755 --> 00:14:05,441
with a subscription to Grape Soda Today
319
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,901
which I already have.
320
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:08,333
Case dismissed.
321
00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:12,032
What did I tell you, Peter?
322
00:14:12,077 --> 00:14:13,391
One man can't take on a
323
00:14:13,396 --> 00:14:15,513
multinational fast food conglomerate.
324
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,060
Oh, yes, I can.
This ain't over, Brian.
325
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,202
Those people are bad and
326
00:14:19,217 --> 00:14:20,683
I'm gonna prove it to the world.
327
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,123
How do you expect to do that?
328
00:14:22,156 --> 00:14:23,231
Are you kidding?
329
00:14:23,278 --> 00:14:24,950
I've tackled tougher jobs before.
330
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:26,520
Remember that time I was Robin
331
00:14:26,526 --> 00:14:27,950
Williams' jumping-off point?
332
00:14:28,446 --> 00:14:30,702
- Okay... religion.
- Oh, religion.
333
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,700
You kill me, I kill you,
we both go to heaven.
334
00:14:32,736 --> 00:14:34,660
72 virgins, huh!
335
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,533
You might have to help me out
336
00:14:35,538 --> 00:14:36,191
with the last ten or so
337
00:14:36,226 --> 00:14:38,770
because Mr. Happy
gets tired- religion.
338
00:14:40,286 --> 00:14:41,283
Politics.
339
00:14:41,365 --> 00:14:45,090
Well, we're gonna come down there
and take all your oil.
340
00:14:45,138 --> 00:14:46,210
But this is our oil.
341
00:14:46,246 --> 00:14:48,220
Yee-haw!
Well, here's my missile.
342
00:14:48,257 --> 00:14:50,261
Okay, take it, take it.
Politics.
343
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:51,951
Uh, you know what?
344
00:14:51,987 --> 00:14:53,130
I'm gonna take a
five-minute break.
345
00:14:53,178 --> 00:14:54,251
Huh, five-minute break.
346
00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:55,862
What are you,
a construction worker?
347
00:14:55,907 --> 00:14:57,411
Hey, baby, I'm not gay.
348
00:14:57,445 --> 00:14:59,350
Does this yellow hat make
my ass look fat?
349
00:14:59,386 --> 00:15:00,550
Five-minute break.
350
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:05,162
You enjoyed the movie, baby?
351
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,981
Yeah, but I think I'm gonna
352
00:15:06,987 --> 00:15:08,371
enjoy this even more.
353
00:15:08,665 --> 00:15:10,512
Ugh! No, thanks.
I am stuffed.
354
00:15:10,555 --> 00:15:12,302
So, we just gonna sit here and talk
355
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:13,403
or are we gonna do it?
356
00:15:13,436 --> 00:15:15,531
All right, baby,
those are the magic words.
357
00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:16,971
Now check this out!
358
00:15:17,405 --> 00:15:18,692
Oh, my God!
359
00:15:18,907 --> 00:15:20,961
Yeah, I am ready for sex.
360
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,001
I drank eight gallons
of water today.
361
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,751
This baby's ready to explode.
362
00:15:25,205 --> 00:15:26,001
Is..
363
00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:28,463
is there more underneath
of is that it?
364
00:15:28,496 --> 00:15:29,211
I'm sorry?
365
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:34,493
Zac, just get the hel
lout of my car.
366
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:41,160
That's it?
That was sex?
367
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:41,941
What a rip-off.
368
00:15:41,945 --> 00:15:42,780
I should sue her.
369
00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:45,400
Be careful you're not held
in contempt of cat.
370
00:15:51,438 --> 00:15:51,903
Pardon me.
371
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,181
We're two Asian businessmen
372
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:53,980
looking to invest
373
00:15:54,026 --> 00:15:55,323
in McBurgerTown Industries
374
00:15:55,326 --> 00:15:57,180
and we'd like a tour of your facility.
375
00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:58,293
You don't look Asian.
376
00:15:58,328 --> 00:16:00,103
Well, I guess we'll just take
377
00:16:00,105 --> 00:16:02,062
our millions of Dongs elsewhere.
378
00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:03,171
Wait, wait!
379
00:16:03,215 --> 00:16:04,933
Let me get our
general manager.
380
00:16:05,508 --> 00:16:07,801
Peter, what the hell do you
expect to accomplish here?
381
00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:08,910
Evidence, Brian.
382
00:16:08,956 --> 00:16:10,641
I'm gonna find just
the right piece
383
00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:13,250
of incriminating evidence to
bring down this company.
384
00:16:14,198 --> 00:16:16,670
Over here is a menu from our first
385
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,001
McBurgerTown restaurant in 1952.
386
00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:20,441
At that time, our value meal
387
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:21,702
consisted of a hamburger,
388
00:16:21,737 --> 00:16:23,602
a cup of coffee and a Lucky Strike.
389
00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:25,852
Wow. How much did all that cost?
390
00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:27,802
Back in the '50s,
one straw penny.
391
00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:30,782
- A whole strawpenny?
- Indeed. Follow me.
392
00:16:32,507 --> 00:16:33,611
Hey, what's in there?
393
00:16:33,656 --> 00:16:35,340
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's off limit.
394
00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:37,063
Now if you'll excuse me for a second,
395
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,430
I have to go to the bathroom
396
00:16:38,438 --> 00:16:39,390
for about 30 minutes
397
00:16:39,436 --> 00:16:40,792
as I eat a lot of meat.
398
00:16:40,836 --> 00:16:42,131
Please give me your word that
399
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,301
you won't go in that door.
400
00:16:43,327 --> 00:16:43,952
Okay.
401
00:16:43,996 --> 00:16:45,423
Good.
See you in a half hour.
402
00:16:46,577 --> 00:16:48,081
Peter, this is your chance!
403
00:16:48,127 --> 00:16:49,562
Brian, I gave him my word.
404
00:16:49,606 --> 00:16:50,262
The hell with that.
405
00:16:50,266 --> 00:16:51,450
Let's see what's behind this door.
406
00:16:55,196 --> 00:16:56,871
My God, what is this?!
407
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,493
This must be the
McBurgerTown slaughterhouse.
408
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:01,600
Sir, you are correct.
409
00:17:01,798 --> 00:17:03,853
But in here, we call it "DaCow."
410
00:17:03,886 --> 00:17:05,403
- DaCow?
- DaCow.
411
00:17:05,506 --> 00:17:08,073
Except we spell the
"chau" part C-O-W,
412
00:17:08,117 --> 00:17:12,702
Like "cow," so it's
kind of a... eh, sort of a dark joke.
413
00:17:12,748 --> 00:17:14,433
Yeah, yeah, it's a Holocaust joke.
414
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,860
That's, that's really funny.
415
00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:17,390
Unfortunately, life in a
416
00:17:17,397 --> 00:17:19,700
slaughterhouse is no laughing matter.
417
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,682
They have killed a great many of us,
418
00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:24,772
including my beloved wife.
419
00:17:24,906 --> 00:17:25,882
Peter, this is it.
420
00:17:25,918 --> 00:17:27,641
This is the evidence
you've been looking for.
421
00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:30,513
If we can get you out of here,
would you be willing to testify
422
00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:32,203
publicly about these atrocities?
423
00:17:32,238 --> 00:17:33,243
Oh, absolutely.
424
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:35,392
But how do you intend to escape?
425
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:38,260
You leave that to us.
Come on.
426
00:17:41,716 --> 00:17:42,501
Hey!
427
00:17:42,705 --> 00:17:44,292
There they are!
After them!
428
00:18:06,698 --> 00:18:10,140
Another Pleasant Valley Sunday
429
00:18:10,185 --> 00:18:12,122
Sunday
430
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:15,602
Charcoal burning everywhere
431
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:22,200
Another Pleasant ValleySunday
432
00:18:22,787 --> 00:18:29,381
Here in status symbol land...
433
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,013
Hey, hey, what's up, Lucas?
434
00:18:41,005 --> 00:18:42,310
What the hell's your problem?
435
00:18:42,606 --> 00:18:44,602
Hey, Logan, what's going on?
436
00:18:45,106 --> 00:18:46,502
What the hell is going on here?
437
00:18:46,535 --> 00:18:48,400
Nothing, baby penis.
438
00:18:50,356 --> 00:18:51,502
Well, yes, I have a baby-
439
00:18:53,228 --> 00:18:54,560
Well, for your information,
440
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:55,800
I don't want a big penis.
441
00:18:55,847 --> 00:18:57,532
I think they're messy.
442
00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:00,610
Well, you've effectively ended
443
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,121
my reign of coolness,
haven't you?
444
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:03,813
You're a disgrace,
you know that?
445
00:19:03,848 --> 00:19:06,142
Hey, you're the one
with the tiny penis.
446
00:19:06,807 --> 00:19:08,733
You know, Connie, look,
you're right.
447
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,852
I behaved like a fool.
And I apologize.
448
00:19:11,888 --> 00:19:13,010
But, before I go,
449
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,202
could I maybe have one last kiss?
450
00:19:15,605 --> 00:19:17,631
Well, I guess so.
451
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,503
Look, this girl
is making out with a baby!
452
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:25,101
A nude baby!
453
00:19:27,396 --> 00:19:28,201
Hey!
454
00:19:29,128 --> 00:19:30,552
That's right.
To hell with you all!
455
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,562
I am who I am.
456
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:36,012
Here comes the story
of The Hurricane
457
00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:40,033
The man the authorities
came to blame
458
00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:43,193
For something that he never done...
459
00:19:46,637 --> 00:19:47,783
Quiet, everybody, this is it.
460
00:19:47,907 --> 00:19:50,052
The McBurgerTown
franchise suffered
461
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:52,602
a publicity setback today
from which it may not recover,
462
00:19:52,707 --> 00:19:54,530
thanks to testimony regarding
463
00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:56,693
its practices by a very brave cow.
464
00:19:57,108 --> 00:20:00,262
I have revealed to you,
today, these horrors
465
00:20:00,308 --> 00:20:03,003
in the hope that you will
see the need for change.
466
00:20:03,297 --> 00:20:06,163
But always remember what
I have done here today
467
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,422
is not a courageous act.
468
00:20:08,466 --> 00:20:11,331
The courage lies with a
man who has the guts
469
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,973
to say no to a fast food restaurant
470
00:20:13,476 --> 00:20:16,500
and eat a salad instead.
471
00:20:16,505 --> 00:20:19,453
To say, "I will eat
this salad with pride.
472
00:20:19,456 --> 00:20:22,270
I don't care if I look
like a gay person."
473
00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:25,121
So to all of you
salad-eating homosexuals,
474
00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:27,133
I say thank you.
475
00:20:27,705 --> 00:20:30,460
And thank you, Peter,
for all you've done
476
00:20:30,468 --> 00:20:32,873
to help expose
this grave injustice.
477
00:20:33,077 --> 00:20:35,171
Where will you go now,
Mr. Cow?
478
00:20:35,207 --> 00:20:36,322
I cannot stay here?
479
00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:38,333
Peter said I could stay here.
480
00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:41,200
Oh... gosh...
yeah, I don't,
481
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,501
I don't really see how
that's gonna work out.
482
00:20:43,906 --> 00:20:48,771
Oh. Well, as I said,
Peter just promised...
483
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,182
Yeah, I should stop you there.
484
00:20:50,186 --> 00:20:51,542
I didn't really promise anything.
485
00:20:51,575 --> 00:20:54,282
I just said "Maybe, if it was okay with Lois."
486
00:20:54,327 --> 00:20:56,990
Boy, it just it seems like
a real burden to me.
487
00:20:57,607 --> 00:21:01,012
Well, this is pretty awkward.
488
00:21:02,284 --> 00:21:04,604
Transcript, Revisions: www.forom.com
Edits: VeRdiKT [subscene.com]