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00:00:01,163 --> 00:00:04,030
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,621 --> 00:00:07,889
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:11,460
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,463
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:17,966
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,838
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:22,873 --> 00:00:24,206
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:24,677
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:24,678 --> 00:00:28,678
♪ Family Guy 13x01 ♪
The Simpsons Guy
Original Air Date on September 12, 2014
11
00:00:28,879 --> 00:00:34,879
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
12
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,514
We now return
to the All in the Family
13
00:00:37,550 --> 00:00:39,683
and Modern Family
crossover episode.
14
00:00:39,719 --> 00:00:40,884
Hello,
Mr. Bunker.
15
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,219
We brought
some hummus.
16
00:00:42,255 --> 00:00:44,221
Oh, yeah, I knew
them two was hummus
17
00:00:44,257 --> 00:00:46,023
the minute
they walked in the door.
18
00:00:46,058 --> 00:00:49,860
Yay! A crossover always brings
out the best in each show!
19
00:00:49,895 --> 00:00:52,263
It certainly doesn't smack
of desperation.
20
00:00:52,298 --> 00:00:54,365
The priorities
are always creative,
21
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:55,899
and not driven
by marketing or...
22
00:00:55,935 --> 00:00:57,368
Okay, that's
enough.
23
00:00:57,403 --> 00:00:59,336
Oh, my God!
What is it, Peter?
24
00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:01,772
Look at this. Dennis the Menace
is just shoveling snow.
25
00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:03,374
He's being helpful.
26
00:01:03,409 --> 00:01:05,242
Might as well just
call it Dennis now.
27
00:01:05,278 --> 00:01:06,844
He's not a menace.
28
00:01:06,879 --> 00:01:08,712
Not every strip
is gonna be hilarious.
29
00:01:08,748 --> 00:01:11,181
You know something? I could
do better than these idiots.
30
00:01:11,217 --> 00:01:13,450
I should just go down to
the paper and sell 'em my own.
31
00:01:13,486 --> 00:01:15,686
Well, Peter, you might be
underestimating the difficulty
32
00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:17,254
of writing a comic strip.
33
00:01:17,290 --> 00:01:19,823
As someone who occasionally
dates the creative muse,
34
00:01:19,859 --> 00:01:23,093
I can vouch for the unforgiving
face of a blank sheet of paper.
35
00:01:23,129 --> 00:01:25,629
In fact, I think it was
William Faulkner who said...
36
00:01:25,665 --> 00:01:27,898
I'm back. I'm published.
Check it out.
37
00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:33,504
I call my comic
For Pete's Sake,
38
00:01:33,539 --> 00:01:34,972
because it points out things
39
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,841
that make you shake your head
and say, "For Pete's sake."
40
00:01:37,877 --> 00:01:39,343
This one's for tomorrow.
41
00:01:43,382 --> 00:01:44,581
These are
good, Peter.
42
00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:46,517
I like how
you retell tired old gags
43
00:01:46,552 --> 00:01:48,585
with a detached,
ironic approach.
44
00:01:48,621 --> 00:01:50,454
Yeah, plus,
it's all brand-new jokes
45
00:01:50,489 --> 00:01:52,022
that I'm really,
really serious about.
46
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:53,390
Well, good for you, Peter,
47
00:01:53,426 --> 00:01:55,359
but how did you get published
so quickly?
48
00:01:55,394 --> 00:01:57,728
Ah, the editor of the paper
owed me a favor.
49
00:01:57,763 --> 00:01:59,396
I got him a picture
of Spider-Man.
50
00:01:59,432 --> 00:02:02,066
Why can't anyone get me
a picture of the Spider-Man?!
51
00:02:02,101 --> 00:02:03,734
Here you go.
52
00:02:06,372 --> 00:02:09,907
Yeah, I got a whole subreddit
of superhero thong shots.
53
00:02:13,079 --> 00:02:15,279
Here's your beer, Peter.
54
00:02:15,314 --> 00:02:16,714
Thanks, Jerome.
What do I owe you?
55
00:02:16,749 --> 00:02:19,216
Nah, you already
paid me... in laughs.
56
00:02:24,223 --> 00:02:25,756
I do a lot of island ones.
57
00:02:25,791 --> 00:02:27,024
Peter, you
should do one
58
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,093
where a baseball player
can't steal second,
59
00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:30,828
'cause he's
on probation.
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00:02:30,863 --> 00:02:32,429
For drug crimes.
61
00:02:32,465 --> 00:02:33,731
Political.
62
00:02:33,766 --> 00:02:35,432
Yeah, you put an island
in there, you're in business.
63
00:02:35,468 --> 00:02:37,201
Hey, how about one
where you draw a sock,
64
00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:38,702
and it says "Sock it to me,"
65
00:02:38,738 --> 00:02:41,071
or-or maybe draw Lois
taking a hot-tub dump,
66
00:02:41,107 --> 00:02:42,940
and she just says whatever?
67
00:02:48,848 --> 00:02:50,848
Peter, your comic
in this morning's paper
68
00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:52,649
is really offensive.
69
00:02:57,323 --> 00:02:58,956
That's not funny, Peter.
70
00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:00,624
Ah, you're just not
getting it, Lois.
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00:03:00,659 --> 00:03:02,559
See, his wife washed
dishes for him.
72
00:03:02,595 --> 00:03:04,094
Oh, for Pete's sake.
73
00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:06,630
Aha! There you go.
74
00:03:06,665 --> 00:03:07,898
Peter, you should see this.
75
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:09,233
Your dishwasher cartoon
76
00:03:09,268 --> 00:03:10,901
has really outraged
the online community.
77
00:03:10,936 --> 00:03:12,169
What?
78
00:03:12,204 --> 00:03:13,570
Gosh, it's not
like the Internet
79
00:03:13,606 --> 00:03:15,639
to go crazy about something
small and stupid.
80
00:03:15,674 --> 00:03:17,007
Peter, you have
to apologize.
81
00:03:17,042 --> 00:03:18,308
What, because of a joke?
82
00:03:18,344 --> 00:03:19,543
Not just a joke, Peter.
83
00:03:19,578 --> 00:03:21,812
A joke that angered some bloggers.
84
00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:23,313
Well, I guess this
ain't the first time
85
00:03:23,349 --> 00:03:25,416
I got in trouble for something
I said about a woman.
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00:03:26,952 --> 00:03:29,253
Oh, good.
We can steal.
87
00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:36,994
And welcome back
to The Flow.
88
00:03:37,029 --> 00:03:38,262
We're talking
to Peter Griffin,
89
00:03:38,297 --> 00:03:40,264
the artist behind
For Pete's Sake,
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00:03:40,299 --> 00:03:43,100
which has caused outrage
with a misogynistic comic.
91
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,635
Here's a video
of some outrage.
92
00:03:48,574 --> 00:03:50,474
Boo!
93
00:03:50,509 --> 00:03:52,276
Yeah, those boos
don't hurt so much
94
00:03:52,311 --> 00:03:54,545
'cause you spent two minutes
of the last segment
95
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:56,313
applauding a red velvet cake.
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00:03:56,348 --> 00:03:57,781
Ah!
97
00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:01,452
And if that's not bad enough,
98
00:04:01,487 --> 00:04:03,053
this morning's cartoon
is even worse.
99
00:04:03,088 --> 00:04:04,488
Let's put that up.
100
00:04:10,496 --> 00:04:12,296
Mr. Griffin,
do you really think
101
00:04:12,331 --> 00:04:13,997
this is an
appropriate cartoon
102
00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,833
to run on Gloria Steinem's
half-birthday?
103
00:04:15,868 --> 00:04:17,000
You sound angry.
104
00:04:17,036 --> 00:04:18,635
Did one of your
friends get engaged?
105
00:04:18,671 --> 00:04:21,472
You have no idea how offensive
you are to women, do you?
106
00:04:21,507 --> 00:04:22,673
What?! I love women.
107
00:04:22,708 --> 00:04:24,908
I bet I can name more
porn stars than you.
108
00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:27,211
But-but don't tell my wife
how many porn stars I know.
109
00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:28,645
I'll get in a
lot of trouble.
110
00:04:28,681 --> 00:04:29,913
I know all of
'em, though.
111
00:04:29,949 --> 00:04:31,081
There are people
112
00:04:31,116 --> 00:04:32,749
who just started an hour
ago, and I know 'em.
113
00:04:35,788 --> 00:04:37,521
Your cartoon is sexist!
114
00:04:37,556 --> 00:04:39,156
Down with misogyny!
115
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:42,893
It wasn't even funny, and
I have a great sense of humor.
116
00:04:42,928 --> 00:04:45,162
Man, they seem really upset.
117
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,997
I was just trying
to make people laugh.
118
00:04:47,032 --> 00:04:48,866
Dad, I'm worried
they're gonna hurt us.
119
00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,234
No, no,
they're angry, Chris,
120
00:04:50,269 --> 00:04:52,236
but they ain't
gonna get violent.
121
00:04:52,271 --> 00:04:54,571
Oh, cool!
That brick I ordered.
122
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,640
Wait a minute.
I didn't order this brick.
123
00:04:56,675 --> 00:04:57,875
You may be right, Chris.
124
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,443
Peter, this is
getting out of hand.
125
00:04:59,478 --> 00:05:01,111
I don't feel safe
in my own home.
126
00:05:01,146 --> 00:05:03,413
Maybe we should get out
of Quahog for a while.
127
00:05:03,449 --> 00:05:04,748
You know, she's right.
128
00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:06,450
We should get out of town
till this all blows over.
129
00:05:06,485 --> 00:05:08,552
Okay, we'll go,
but just give me a minute.
130
00:05:08,587 --> 00:05:10,921
I just want to turn in
my last For Pete's Sake.
131
00:05:13,859 --> 00:05:17,461
going out on top amid a flurry
of gambling rumors.
132
00:05:29,005 --> 00:05:30,603
Peter, where are we?
133
00:05:30,603 --> 00:05:32,045
I don't know.
I just woke up, too.
134
00:05:32,046 --> 00:05:33,913
I tied the steering
wheel to my belt.
135
00:05:33,947 --> 00:05:36,748
I figure we've been on the
road about 20% of the time.
136
00:05:36,783 --> 00:05:38,884
Dad, how long
until we can go back home?
137
00:05:38,919 --> 00:05:40,218
Um, I don't know.
138
00:05:40,254 --> 00:05:42,020
How long do women
hold grudges?
139
00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:43,588
Not very long,
I'm guessing.
140
00:05:43,624 --> 00:05:45,557
Oh, Peter, we've been
driving all night.
141
00:05:45,592 --> 00:05:47,192
Pull over
to that gas station.
142
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:49,327
We can use the bathroom
and stretch our legs.
143
00:05:49,363 --> 00:05:50,529
You got it, babe.
144
00:05:50,564 --> 00:05:51,997
Did you call me "babe"?
145
00:05:52,032 --> 00:05:52,831
I did.
146
00:05:52,866 --> 00:05:54,666
Oh, Peter.
147
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:57,769
Ew! Mom!
148
00:05:57,804 --> 00:06:00,539
You'll never
have this, Meg.
149
00:06:03,377 --> 00:06:05,010
All right, back
in the car, kids.
150
00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:07,112
For this leg of the
trip, I was thinking
151
00:06:07,147 --> 00:06:09,548
of driving with my shirt
off like New Mexico trash.
152
00:06:12,786 --> 00:06:14,719
Oh, my God!
Our car!
153
00:06:14,755 --> 00:06:16,121
Someone's stealing it.
154
00:06:16,156 --> 00:06:17,322
Ah, crap.
155
00:06:17,357 --> 00:06:18,523
Although, I got to say,
156
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:20,859
you never get to see
somebody else driving your car.
157
00:06:20,894 --> 00:06:22,494
It's kind of cool.
Kind of weird.
158
00:06:22,529 --> 00:06:23,728
We're stuck
here, Peter!
159
00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:25,463
And we don't even
know where we are.
160
00:06:25,499 --> 00:06:27,832
Well, there's a sign.
161
00:06:44,585 --> 00:06:46,685
Huh, guess we're in a town
called Springfield.
162
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,687
Springfield, eh?
What state?
163
00:06:48,722 --> 00:06:50,889
I can't imagine
we're allowed to say.
164
00:07:14,581 --> 00:07:16,414
Well, this Springfield place
seems nice.
165
00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:17,782
We should visit here again.
166
00:07:17,818 --> 00:07:20,185
I don't know, Lois. This
seems like a one-shot deal.
167
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:22,053
Guys, we ain't here
for fun, all right?
168
00:07:22,089 --> 00:07:24,389
We're here to find the police,
report our stolen car.
169
00:07:24,424 --> 00:07:25,824
Oh, and don't
drink the water.
170
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:27,993
Everybody around here looks
like they have hepatitis.
171
00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:29,561
Dad, I'm
starving.
172
00:07:29,596 --> 00:07:30,929
Can we get
some food?!
173
00:07:30,964 --> 00:07:33,298
Lois, whip out your boob,
give the boy his lunch.
174
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:34,499
Listen to
the man.
175
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,234
Yeah, Lois,
listen to the man.
176
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,570
How about we just go into
that store there?
177
00:07:42,476 --> 00:07:44,142
Uh, uh, excuse me?
178
00:07:44,177 --> 00:07:46,378
Hello. Welcome
to the Kwik-E-Mart.
179
00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:51,983
Oh, I am so sorry.
Let me unplug that.
180
00:07:52,019 --> 00:07:54,352
Oh, such a nuisance!
181
00:07:54,388 --> 00:07:56,087
Hello, funny-sounding
Cleveland.
182
00:07:56,123 --> 00:07:57,522
What's the specialty
of the house?
183
00:07:57,557 --> 00:07:59,991
To you, I recommend...
the donut.
184
00:08:02,296 --> 00:08:03,662
Ooh!
185
00:08:03,697 --> 00:08:05,030
Yum!
186
00:08:05,065 --> 00:08:07,365
Have you guys seriously
never heard of donuts?
187
00:08:07,401 --> 00:08:09,134
These are made
fresh every day.
188
00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:11,136
And then, several days
later, we receive them
189
00:08:11,171 --> 00:08:12,937
and make them available
for purchase.
190
00:08:12,973 --> 00:08:14,706
Hey, are these...
are these free?
191
00:08:14,741 --> 00:08:17,876
'Cause I forgot to mention, all
our money is in our stolen car.
192
00:08:17,911 --> 00:08:19,411
Thank you. Come again.
193
00:08:19,446 --> 00:08:22,514
Sir, we can pay you back for
the donuts when we find our car.
194
00:08:22,549 --> 00:08:25,083
Do you think that I am moved
by your sob story?
195
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:26,818
I come from a country
where the words
196
00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:28,687
for "sewage" and "beverage"
are the same.
197
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:30,522
I'll pay for their donuts.
198
00:08:34,328 --> 00:08:36,161
Thank you so
much, sir.
199
00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:37,829
For what?
I didn't say anything.
200
00:08:37,864 --> 00:08:38,997
Oh.
201
00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:40,865
It was me.
202
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:47,105
How come this convenience store
has so many shadowy parts?
203
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,375
Apu, a dozen donuts for
our albino visitors.
204
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,843
Wow! For real?!
205
00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:54,846
No man should be so poor
he cannot pay for a donut.
206
00:08:54,881 --> 00:08:56,381
I was once you.
207
00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:57,816
I couldn't afford donuts.
208
00:08:57,851 --> 00:09:00,151
Tell them what I did, Apu.
He stole the donuts.
209
00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:01,886
I stole the donuts.
210
00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:03,254
So, here you go.
211
00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:05,056
12... ten...
eight donuts.
212
00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:07,359
That's very nice
of you, Mister...?
213
00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,361
Simpson. Homer Simpson.
214
00:09:09,396 --> 00:09:10,762
We're the Griffins.
215
00:09:10,797 --> 00:09:13,331
Peter, Lois, Stewie, and then,
uh, you know, the others.
216
00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:15,200
Brian, I guess.
217
00:09:15,235 --> 00:09:17,435
Well, enjoy
your... six donuts.
218
00:09:19,139 --> 00:09:21,606
Mmm. Yummy... donut.
219
00:09:21,641 --> 00:09:24,008
That's pretty good,
but try it like this.
220
00:09:25,145 --> 00:09:27,746
Mmm. Donut.
221
00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:31,549
Mmm. Donut.
222
00:09:31,585 --> 00:09:36,488
I think you and I are
gonna get along just okay.
223
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:42,910
Yeah, all right,
we'll be there.
224
00:09:42,945 --> 00:09:45,312
But if you want
to save us a little time,
225
00:09:45,347 --> 00:09:48,382
you can start
tracing his body with chalk.
226
00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:51,418
This is the
police station.
227
00:09:51,453 --> 00:09:55,856
Be careful. I think some
of them might be cops.
228
00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:57,724
Oh, hey there.
Cool hat, weird nose.
229
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,226
Hey, listen,
my car got stolen.
230
00:09:59,261 --> 00:10:00,594
I was hoping
you could help.
231
00:10:00,629 --> 00:10:01,962
Well, we got
a procedure
232
00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:03,797
for handling alleged
crimes around here.
233
00:10:03,832 --> 00:10:05,499
Let's see. Uh, did
you contribute
234
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:07,000
to the policeman's ball?
235
00:10:07,036 --> 00:10:08,402
No.
236
00:10:08,437 --> 00:10:10,904
Oh, that's too bad,
'cause he really needs one.
237
00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,940
He had an accident last week.
238
00:10:12,975 --> 00:10:15,809
Yeah, I tried to jump
over a parking meter.
239
00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:17,511
Yeah, all right,
well, with no contribution,
240
00:10:17,546 --> 00:10:20,614
your report goes right
into the circular file.
241
00:10:20,649 --> 00:10:22,182
I got to be honest.
242
00:10:22,217 --> 00:10:23,850
I don't usually check this file,
243
00:10:23,886 --> 00:10:26,920
so it might be a while
until we find that car of yours.
244
00:10:26,956 --> 00:10:30,190
Uh, Chief, that excuse to
leave you asked for is here.
245
00:10:30,225 --> 00:10:32,025
Oh, sorry,
I got to take this.
246
00:10:32,061 --> 00:10:34,461
It never ends.
247
00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:38,899
Oh, thank you so much
248
00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:41,034
for putting us up
until we find our car.
249
00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:43,770
And thank you for not being
a band of hippie murderers.
250
00:10:43,806 --> 00:10:45,439
And now
this again.
251
00:10:45,474 --> 00:10:47,908
You bring home two bands
of hippie murderers,
252
00:10:47,943 --> 00:10:49,743
and suddenly,
that's all you're about.
253
00:10:49,778 --> 00:10:51,745
Well, what do you say we have
some lunch?
254
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,080
Where's
Bart?
255
00:10:53,115 --> 00:10:54,715
Well, he's at
camp all week.
256
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,750
I'm sorry you
won't get to meet him.
257
00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:02,723
Got kicked out of camp.
258
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:05,826
I superglued my counselor's
butt cheeks together.
259
00:11:05,861 --> 00:11:07,094
That's terrible.
260
00:11:07,129 --> 00:11:10,263
But how did you even get access
to his butt cheeks?
261
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:12,499
I'm not the only one
who got kicked out of camp.
262
00:11:12,534 --> 00:11:13,633
This is Bart.
263
00:11:13,669 --> 00:11:15,035
Honey, your hands
are filthy.
264
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:16,570
Go wash up
for lunch.
265
00:11:16,605 --> 00:11:18,071
Eat my shorts!
266
00:11:18,107 --> 00:11:19,406
"Eat my shorts."
267
00:11:19,441 --> 00:11:21,742
I love that!
Is that a popular expression,
268
00:11:21,777 --> 00:11:24,211
like "what the deuce"?
Probably more popular.
269
00:11:24,246 --> 00:11:26,346
Probably... probably
way more popular.
270
00:11:26,382 --> 00:11:29,049
Well, here's my room.
271
00:11:29,084 --> 00:11:30,784
Hey, you want to see
my weapons closet?
272
00:11:30,819 --> 00:11:33,086
You have a
weapons closet, too?
273
00:11:41,296 --> 00:11:44,197
Ouch! Jesus
heard my mean thought!
274
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,400
A slingshot!
It's so simple and pure.
275
00:11:46,435 --> 00:11:48,535
He doesn't need lasers
or time machines,
276
00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:51,138
just gum balls and marbles
and balls of string.
277
00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:53,407
He's like something
out of Mark Twain!
278
00:11:53,442 --> 00:11:55,442
Whose real name
was Samuel Clemens.
279
00:11:55,477 --> 00:11:57,644
How... how does that further
this conversation?
280
00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,047
Hey, you want to make
a prank phone call?
281
00:12:00,082 --> 00:12:01,581
Ooh, prank phone call!
282
00:12:06,455 --> 00:12:08,155
Moe's Tavern.
Moe speaking.
283
00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:09,856
Uh, yeah, I'm looking
for a friend,
284
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:12,492
last name Keebum,
first name Lee.
285
00:12:12,528 --> 00:12:13,794
Uh, hang on, I'll check.
286
00:12:13,829 --> 00:12:15,896
Hey, guys, do I got
a Lee Keebum?
287
00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:18,598
Come on, look at the stools--
is there a Lee Keebum?
288
00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:21,435
Somebody check the rear--
I know I got a Lee Keebum.
289
00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,670
Then you probably shouldn't
be handling food.
290
00:12:27,576 --> 00:12:29,109
Oh, my God,
that's amazing!
291
00:12:29,144 --> 00:12:30,677
That's the coolest
thing ever!
292
00:12:30,712 --> 00:12:32,546
Hey, I want to try.
Okay.
293
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,116
Moe's Tavern.
294
00:12:36,151 --> 00:12:38,819
Hello, Moe?
Your sister's being raped.
295
00:12:38,854 --> 00:12:41,421
Is that... is that one?
296
00:12:41,457 --> 00:12:42,889
So, this is my room.
297
00:12:42,925 --> 00:12:44,491
Please excuse the mess.
298
00:12:44,526 --> 00:12:46,693
There, that's better.
299
00:12:46,728 --> 00:12:48,695
Look at all these trophies!
300
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:50,764
There must be,
like, 20 of them!
301
00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:54,101
23. But I'm sure you have
a lot of trophies of your own.
302
00:12:54,136 --> 00:12:56,369
No. I'm not good
at anything.
303
00:12:56,405 --> 00:12:59,272
Oh, Meg, I'm sure
you're good at something.
304
00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:01,274
We just have
to find out what it is.
305
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:04,744
After all, Nelson Mandela said
it's our obligation to shine.
306
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:07,080
You mean like my
oily face and back?
307
00:13:07,116 --> 00:13:09,516
No. Maybe don't sit
on my bedspread, please.
308
00:13:09,551 --> 00:13:12,786
But I mean the light within you
that makes you an individual.
309
00:13:12,821 --> 00:13:15,288
Meg, you need to know
that you matter.
310
00:13:15,324 --> 00:13:17,858
Really? No one's ever
told me I mattered before.
311
00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:19,759
That's why you
have to say it.
312
00:13:19,795 --> 00:13:22,129
So say it.
I matter.
313
00:13:22,164 --> 00:13:23,164
Louder!
314
00:13:23,165 --> 00:13:24,431
I matter!
315
00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:27,634
Shut up, Meg! You don't matter!
316
00:13:45,053 --> 00:13:47,854
Hey, couldn't help but notice
there's no seat for me.
317
00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:51,591
Oh. I was under the impression
that you were a dog.
318
00:13:51,627 --> 00:13:53,493
You're right to have
that reaction, Marge.
319
00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:56,396
Why, I just figured,
at home I sit with the family,
320
00:13:56,431 --> 00:13:57,731
so I assumed that...
321
00:13:57,766 --> 00:13:59,833
Have you ever drunk
out of a toilet?
322
00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:02,235
I-I don't see what that has
to do with the discussion.
323
00:14:02,271 --> 00:14:04,070
Dogs eat in the kitchen.
324
00:14:04,106 --> 00:14:06,039
Yeah, dogs eat
in the kitchen.
325
00:14:06,074 --> 00:14:08,708
Y-You know, you're eating
mostly horse hooves
326
00:14:08,744 --> 00:14:10,777
and tallow, right?
You cool with that?
327
00:14:10,812 --> 00:14:12,979
Oh, and the ones that
fall on the floor,
328
00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,648
you just eat those
up, too, huh?
329
00:14:14,683 --> 00:14:16,116
Oh, yeah, yeah, you do.
330
00:14:16,151 --> 00:14:18,318
So, is that... is that,
like, your thing?
331
00:14:18,353 --> 00:14:20,687
You eat loud?
332
00:14:20,722 --> 00:14:23,390
I... I'm-I'm sorry,
I don't know what...
333
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:24,724
That's a gutter language.
334
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,027
Are you making friends
in there, Brian?
335
00:14:27,062 --> 00:14:28,828
Yep, he's a lot
of laughs.
336
00:14:28,864 --> 00:14:30,897
Wow, you work at a
nuclear power plant?
337
00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:32,566
What's that?
I don't know.
338
00:14:32,601 --> 00:14:33,767
Pretty impressive.
339
00:14:33,802 --> 00:14:35,502
I just work
at a brewery.
340
00:14:35,537 --> 00:14:38,171
Oh, my God,
you get to work with beer?!
341
00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:40,607
Wow! What's beer really like?
342
00:14:40,642 --> 00:14:42,876
Eh, he's got a big head.
343
00:14:42,911 --> 00:14:45,779
Hey, you know-- aw, damn it,
I don't have a comic strip anymore.
344
00:14:45,814 --> 00:14:49,249
So, still no word from the
police on your stolen car?
345
00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:51,585
The cops
here are a joke.
346
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,354
I bet you and me can find
your car on our own.
347
00:14:54,389 --> 00:14:55,822
You think so?
Yeah.
348
00:14:55,857 --> 00:14:57,891
'Cause Homer Simpson
and Peter Griffin
349
00:14:57,926 --> 00:14:59,626
are a great team!
350
00:14:59,661 --> 00:15:01,895
A greater team than...
351
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:04,364
Than...
Uh-huh, keep going.
352
00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:06,433
Than... something else.
353
00:15:06,468 --> 00:15:08,702
Something else?
I... don't know what this is.
354
00:15:08,737 --> 00:15:10,670
O-Okay,
I'll do it.
355
00:15:10,706 --> 00:15:13,306
Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin
are an even greater team
356
00:15:13,342 --> 00:15:14,808
than the Air Force!
357
00:15:16,845 --> 00:15:19,379
Hold steady.
I got him in my sights.
358
00:15:24,419 --> 00:15:26,052
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah-heh-heh!
359
00:15:26,088 --> 00:15:28,321
Yeah, we did it.
What's he doing here?
360
00:15:28,357 --> 00:15:31,124
We got to carry him,
'cause he can't fly on his own.
361
00:15:31,159 --> 00:15:33,393
We let that other guy try,
and look what happened.
362
00:15:33,428 --> 00:15:37,097
No, no, no, no, no, no...!
363
00:15:41,937 --> 00:15:45,005
Wow, they've made a lot
of changes to Quahog!
364
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,107
Chris, we're
in a different town.
365
00:15:47,142 --> 00:15:48,275
Oh...
366
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,543
Is that why there was
blood in my stool?
367
00:15:50,579 --> 00:15:52,679
No. That-that sounds
like a separate issue.
368
00:15:52,714 --> 00:15:54,648
God, I can't believe
I got stuck
369
00:15:54,683 --> 00:15:56,516
taking their stupid dog
for a walk.
370
00:15:56,551 --> 00:15:59,219
Stupid? Well, I don't know,
I think he's kind of fun.
371
00:15:59,254 --> 00:16:01,154
What, are you kidding?
He doesn't do anything.
372
00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,856
You know,
it's not his fault, though.
373
00:16:02,891 --> 00:16:04,357
He doesn't know any better.
374
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:06,459
He's been on a leash
his whole life.
375
00:16:06,495 --> 00:16:08,762
Hey, you know what?
Come here, Santa's Stupid Name.
376
00:16:08,797 --> 00:16:12,332
You're a grown dog--
start acting like one.
377
00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,836
Come here, boy.
378
00:16:18,206 --> 00:16:19,739
Hey, stop that dog!
379
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:23,310
Sorry. We're
on a smoke break.
380
00:16:25,714 --> 00:16:27,881
Nothing beats
smoking and standing.
381
00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:31,484
Although smoking and sitting
does have its moments.
382
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,688
You always have
to argue with me.
383
00:16:39,294 --> 00:16:41,094
Oh, thank goodness!
384
00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:44,664
I was starting to think
you wouldn't show, Dr. Dog.
385
00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:52,605
Boy, you really like
to bleed, huh, guy?
386
00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:02,282
Hey, there's a dog
in the dining area!
387
00:17:02,317 --> 00:17:03,850
How'd that happen?
388
00:17:03,885 --> 00:17:05,719
Get back in there.
389
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,225
Which one is Santa's
Little Helper?
390
00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:14,861
I don't know. You're the one who
sniffed his butt.
391
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:16,563
Yeah, for, like,
a second!
392
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:20,200
Damn it, he's gone.
393
00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:21,668
We're screwed.
394
00:17:21,703 --> 00:17:24,537
Welcome to Krusty Burger.
May I take your order?
395
00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:27,273
Your voice
sounds stupid.
396
00:17:47,129 --> 00:17:48,928
Oh, my God,
that was great!
397
00:17:48,964 --> 00:17:51,898
I mean, unless you think it sucked,
in which case it sucked.
398
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,233
It was all right, dude.
399
00:17:53,268 --> 00:17:54,534
Yeah, dude.
400
00:17:54,569 --> 00:17:56,736
So, you know, um,
I'm only wearing this diaper
401
00:17:56,772 --> 00:17:59,539
as a dare, you know-- it's not,
like, an everyday thing.
402
00:17:59,574 --> 00:18:01,941
Hey, loser, I copied
off your spelling test
403
00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:04,244
and got a D!
404
00:18:04,279 --> 00:18:06,146
Haw-haw!
405
00:18:06,181 --> 00:18:09,115
I say, how long has that boy
been treating you like that?
406
00:18:09,151 --> 00:18:13,787
Uh...
about 24 years.
407
00:18:15,524 --> 00:18:16,923
Aah!
408
00:18:21,396 --> 00:18:23,963
Just who I was
looking for!
409
00:18:29,671 --> 00:18:31,938
Cowabunga.
410
00:18:35,131 --> 00:18:37,231
All right, Peter, if we're
gonna find your car,
411
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:38,867
we got to think
like a car.
412
00:18:38,902 --> 00:18:41,336
So let's fill up
at that gas station.
413
00:18:48,812 --> 00:18:50,779
I feel sick.
Keep drinking.
414
00:18:50,814 --> 00:18:52,614
I prepaid 40 bucks!
415
00:18:52,649 --> 00:18:54,649
Homer, maybe
we're doing this wrong.
416
00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,222
Oh, crap.
417
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:08,430
Haben Sie Homer und
Peter MIT Chevron pump?
418
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:17,205
Okay, I got a great idea how
we're gonna find my stolen car.
419
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:20,442
We'll throw a car wash--
free for stolen cars!
420
00:19:20,477 --> 00:19:24,012
And then when we find it,
we'll actually charge the guy!
421
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,590
Well, none of these
is my car,
422
00:19:35,626 --> 00:19:37,893
but we promised
these scumbags a show.
423
00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:56,211
♪ Love is like a bomb, baby,
come on, get it on ♪
424
00:19:56,246 --> 00:19:58,980
♪ Livin' like a lover
with a radar phone ♪
425
00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:01,149
♪ Lookin' like a tramp,
like a video vamp ♪
426
00:20:01,185 --> 00:20:04,619
♪ Demolition woman,
can I be your man? ♪
427
00:20:05,923 --> 00:20:07,556
♪ Yeah! ♪
428
00:20:09,593 --> 00:20:13,428
♪ So come on, take a bottle ♪
429
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,997
♪ Shake it up ♪
430
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:18,700
♪ Break the bubble ♪
431
00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:21,503
♪ Break it up ♪
432
00:20:21,538 --> 00:20:22,804
♪ Pour some ♪
433
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:24,072
♪ Sugar on me ♪
434
00:20:24,107 --> 00:20:26,975
♪ Ooh, in the name of love ♪
435
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:28,677
♪ Pour some ♪
436
00:20:28,712 --> 00:20:30,478
♪ Sugar on me ♪
437
00:20:30,514 --> 00:20:32,247
♪ Come on, fire me up ♪
438
00:20:32,282 --> 00:20:33,982
♪ Pour your ♪
439
00:20:34,017 --> 00:20:36,284
♪ Sugar on me ♪
440
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,553
♪ I can't get enough... ♪
441
00:20:38,589 --> 00:20:41,656
Hey, Chief, we could arrest every single
car thief in Springfield.
442
00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:43,491
After the show, Lou,
443
00:20:43,527 --> 00:20:45,860
after the show.
444
00:20:56,673 --> 00:21:01,409
I don't know!
I feel like I'm good at nothing!
445
00:21:01,445 --> 00:21:04,246
Hey, everyone gets down
on themselves sometimes.
446
00:21:04,281 --> 00:21:08,083
Those are the days
I'm glad I have my saxophone.
447
00:21:08,118 --> 00:21:09,118
Saxophone?
448
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:10,785
Yeah. My dad
gave it to me.
449
00:21:10,821 --> 00:21:12,988
My dad once gave me
a gun to hide.
450
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,623
That's terrible.
451
00:21:14,658 --> 00:21:16,825
Whenever I feel
any pain or loneliness,
452
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,728
I just play away the blues
on my saxophone.
453
00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:22,330
Huh. I usually
just beat up a cat.
454
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,401
Good thing we don't have a cat.
455
00:21:26,436 --> 00:21:29,070
Why don't you
give it a shot?
456
00:22:05,609 --> 00:22:07,075
Was that good?
457
00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:09,678
It was okay, but it would
be a shame to waste
458
00:22:09,713 --> 00:22:13,214
such great butcher's arms
on a musical instrument.
459
00:22:20,724 --> 00:22:22,991
Wakey, wakey.
460
00:22:23,026 --> 00:22:24,392
Good morning.
461
00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:26,795
You and I have quite a day
ahead of us.
462
00:22:38,241 --> 00:22:42,077
Oh, that's a clown I painted,
so you know I'm truly insane.
463
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:44,346
You know, Nelson,
464
00:22:44,381 --> 00:22:46,748
I don't doubt that you've
had a twisted childhood.
465
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,149
Most evil people have.
466
00:22:48,185 --> 00:22:50,485
Hitler, Manson, Jaden Smith.
467
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,554
But you're different
from them, aren't you?
468
00:22:52,589 --> 00:22:54,989
Because they're rail-thin,
and you're fat.
469
00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:56,858
You're a little piggy,
aren't you, Nelson?
470
00:22:56,893 --> 00:22:58,860
In fact, I bet
you're hungry right now.
471
00:22:58,895 --> 00:23:01,162
What's that?
472
00:23:02,199 --> 00:23:03,431
I could eat.
473
00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:05,100
Good. Because you're going
474
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:08,203
to eat... my... shorts.
475
00:23:15,912 --> 00:23:18,546
Homer, you're never going
to believe what we did.
476
00:23:18,582 --> 00:23:21,282
We saw a movie
in the afternoon!
477
00:23:21,318 --> 00:23:23,418
Yeah, we saw
Surf's Up 2.
478
00:23:23,453 --> 00:23:26,087
Marge covered her eyes every
time the penguins surfed.
479
00:23:26,123 --> 00:23:29,224
It made me nervous.
They could drown.
480
00:23:29,259 --> 00:23:31,559
Hey, where's
Santa's Little Helper?
481
00:23:31,595 --> 00:23:34,062
Brian, you took him
for a walk, right?
482
00:23:34,097 --> 00:23:36,030
Uh, yeah, yeah.
483
00:23:36,066 --> 00:23:37,565
More-more like he took me
for a walk.
484
00:23:37,601 --> 00:23:39,768
God, what a...
what a fun dog.
485
00:23:39,803 --> 00:23:42,704
He's in the kitchen right now,
totally accounted for.
486
00:23:42,739 --> 00:23:44,038
Shut up.
487
00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:46,374
I'll, uh... I'll go check
on him right now.
488
00:23:46,410 --> 00:23:48,042
And Chris
will come with me.
489
00:23:48,078 --> 00:23:50,078
But nobody else!
490
00:23:52,783 --> 00:23:54,416
BRIAN
Ruff! Ruff, ruff!
491
00:23:54,451 --> 00:23:56,284
Ah, there he is!
492
00:23:56,319 --> 00:23:59,053
Aw, you like that
behind the ear, don't you, boy?
493
00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:00,188
Ruff! Ruff, ruff!
494
00:24:00,223 --> 00:24:03,324
Ruff, ruff! I'm
another dog in here!
495
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,659
What the hell are you doing?
496
00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:06,728
He's having a
dog playdate.
497
00:24:06,763 --> 00:24:10,131
How does that help us?
We're creating a broad story.
498
00:24:10,167 --> 00:24:12,600
Also, Matthew McConaughey
is in here, too!
499
00:24:12,636 --> 00:24:14,736
"All right, all right, all right."
500
00:24:14,771 --> 00:24:17,205
No, no, he's-he's not
really in here! He's...
501
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,507
We-we thought it was him,
but it was just the oven!
502
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:20,575
Now you're just doing voices.
503
00:24:20,610 --> 00:24:22,777
Jack Nicholson?!
504
00:24:22,813 --> 00:24:25,313
Okay, Santa's Little Helper
got all tuckered out
505
00:24:25,348 --> 00:24:27,982
from his playdate, so he went
out back to take a nap
506
00:24:28,018 --> 00:24:30,251
under that tree where nobody
knows quite where it is.
507
00:24:30,287 --> 00:24:31,786
Hey, what happened
to Jack Nicholson
508
00:24:31,822 --> 00:24:33,421
and that other dog?
Yep.
509
00:24:33,457 --> 00:24:36,191
Wait, aren't you supposed
to be looking for our car?
510
00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:37,325
Didn't find the car, Lois,
511
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,227
but I found a good
time with a good pal.
512
00:24:39,262 --> 00:24:41,896
Right, Homer? Hey,
Quagmire who, right?
513
00:24:41,932 --> 00:24:43,965
Yeah, Quagmire who?
514
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,101
That's an actual question.
I don't know who Quagmire is.
515
00:24:47,137 --> 00:24:50,505
Peter, I'm glad you made a
friend, but what about our car?
516
00:24:50,540 --> 00:24:52,040
Yeah, I got an idea
about that.
517
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:55,043
What's the one surefire way
to find a lost car?
518
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:58,179
Giant magnet?
Giant magnet.
519
00:24:59,216 --> 00:25:00,348
Giant magnet?
520
00:25:03,053 --> 00:25:04,352
Check.
521
00:25:04,387 --> 00:25:05,687
Giant plug?
Check.
522
00:25:05,722 --> 00:25:08,323
Giant curbside outlet?
523
00:25:11,428 --> 00:25:14,996
Oh, things never work
the way they do on the box.
524
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:20,008
Okay, let's get this garbage
out of the street.
525
00:25:23,406 --> 00:25:28,042
Oh, dear, I was using that car
as pants.
526
00:25:28,078 --> 00:25:30,311
Oh, my God, Dad,
it's our car!
527
00:25:30,347 --> 00:25:33,915
That confused old guy must have
been driving it by mistake.
528
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:36,851
How many confused old guys
you got in this town?
529
00:25:39,623 --> 00:25:41,923
I'm old, so I'm the victim!
530
00:25:45,729 --> 00:25:48,096
Well, Homer, thanks
for helping me get my car back.
531
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:50,899
And to show my appreciation, I
got a little something for you.
532
00:25:50,934 --> 00:25:53,234
Here you go.
Pawtucket Patriot Ale.
533
00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:55,236
The best Quahog
has to offer.
534
00:25:55,272 --> 00:25:58,006
Always keep an emergency
six-pack in my trunk.
535
00:25:58,041 --> 00:26:00,942
Oh, that's cool, bringing
outside beer into my bar.
536
00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:02,911
Down the hatch!
537
00:26:04,581 --> 00:26:06,114
That's pretty good, right?
538
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:08,783
No.
539
00:26:08,818 --> 00:26:10,785
Huh?
It's not good.
540
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:12,453
This beer tastes exactly
like Duff.
541
00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:14,455
It's just a lousy rip-off.
542
00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:16,524
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's not a rip-off of Duff.
543
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,994
It may have been inspired
by Duff, but I-I like to think
544
00:26:20,030 --> 00:26:21,696
it goes in
a different direction.
545
00:26:21,731 --> 00:26:24,866
No, this is just the same
as Duff, but, like, worse.
546
00:26:24,901 --> 00:26:27,869
Hey, come on, now, this is
my favorite beer you're talking about.
547
00:26:27,904 --> 00:26:29,871
Hell, I work for the company.
It's my livelihood.
548
00:26:29,906 --> 00:26:32,540
Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood
is based on fraud.
549
00:26:32,576 --> 00:26:33,708
Look at this.
550
00:26:34,477 --> 00:26:36,978
Huh?
551
00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:38,313
It is Duff.
552
00:26:38,348 --> 00:26:40,615
Your beer is
in big trouble!
553
00:26:40,650 --> 00:26:42,283
You can't just slap
a new label on something
554
00:26:42,319 --> 00:26:43,418
and call it your own!
555
00:26:43,453 --> 00:26:45,753
Well, maybe Duff should be
in trouble for,
556
00:26:45,789 --> 00:26:47,689
you know,
not being that great.
557
00:26:49,059 --> 00:26:51,392
Duff is an icon!
558
00:26:51,428 --> 00:26:53,328
Yeah, but some folks
prefer Pawtucket Pat.
559
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:56,531
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I-I used to love Duff when I was younger,
560
00:26:56,566 --> 00:26:59,434
but I-I haven't even had it
in, like, 13 years.
561
00:26:59,469 --> 00:27:00,702
Be that as it may,
562
00:27:00,737 --> 00:27:03,304
I represent the Duff Brewery,
and you, sir,
563
00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:05,640
as a representative
of Pawtucket Patriot Ale,
564
00:27:05,675 --> 00:27:09,277
are being sued for intellectual
theft and patent infringement.
565
00:27:09,312 --> 00:27:11,112
Aha! Intellectual theft!
566
00:27:11,147 --> 00:27:13,348
What do you have to say
about that, Griffin?
567
00:27:13,383 --> 00:27:14,716
D'oh!
568
00:27:27,421 --> 00:27:30,121
The Pawtucket Patriot
Brewery being sued?
569
00:27:30,157 --> 00:27:32,657
It's the largest employer
in Quahog, Peter.
570
00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:34,993
A lot of people's jobs
are riding on this.
571
00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:37,329
Yeah, I got a job for you
riding on something.
572
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:38,396
Peter!
573
00:27:38,432 --> 00:27:39,998
Sorry! Sorry, Lois,
I'm-I'm tired
574
00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:43,034
'cause we usually only do
these things for half an hour.
575
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:46,237
Simpson.
576
00:27:46,273 --> 00:27:47,273
Griffin.
577
00:27:47,274 --> 00:27:48,440
Nice day, isn't it?
578
00:27:48,475 --> 00:27:50,241
A nice day for stabbing
a friend in the back.
579
00:27:50,277 --> 00:27:53,812
Yeah, and a nice day for
bringing thieves to justice.
580
00:27:54,948 --> 00:27:56,715
We're getting a
lot of compliments.
581
00:27:56,750 --> 00:27:59,217
Yep, we're doing
something right.
582
00:28:01,788 --> 00:28:04,222
Your Honor,
citizens of Springfield
583
00:28:04,257 --> 00:28:06,958
and visitors from Quahog,
my client, the Duff Brewery,
584
00:28:06,994 --> 00:28:10,061
is the victim of flagrant
intellectual theft.
585
00:28:10,097 --> 00:28:12,731
I'm whispering in court
to look smart.
586
00:28:12,766 --> 00:28:16,067
But it's not just the main Duff
recipe that's been plagiarized.
587
00:28:16,103 --> 00:28:18,570
Several other Duff variations,
packages
588
00:28:18,605 --> 00:28:21,172
and design elements
have been similarly infringed,
589
00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:23,074
resulting again
590
00:28:23,110 --> 00:28:25,010
and again in pale imitations,
591
00:28:25,045 --> 00:28:26,211
chp coes,
clumsy counterfeits
592
00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:29,447
and weak substitutions.
593
00:28:29,483 --> 00:28:31,116
You like sex?
Eh.
594
00:28:31,151 --> 00:28:32,851
I don't think
we're very similar.
595
00:28:32,886 --> 00:28:35,653
You know why they got us
sitting next to each other.
596
00:28:35,689 --> 00:28:38,323
Uh, 'cause we're the two
funniest guys in our towns?
597
00:28:38,358 --> 00:28:39,791
Damn right.
598
00:28:39,826 --> 00:28:41,292
I'm a Jewish clown.
599
00:28:41,328 --> 00:28:42,694
Me, too.
600
00:28:42,729 --> 00:28:44,863
Are you a mayor?
Yes, I am.
601
00:28:44,898 --> 00:28:46,865
Are you a "cool" mayor?
602
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:49,434
I, uh... I like
to think so.
603
00:28:52,472 --> 00:28:53,772
You lived in Springfield?
604
00:28:53,807 --> 00:28:56,641
Yeah, I worked at the
Kwik-E-Mart, researching a role.
605
00:28:56,676 --> 00:28:58,910
These guys are gonna lose.
606
00:28:58,945 --> 00:29:02,514
I've heard all I need to
hear to make a decision.
607
00:29:02,549 --> 00:29:06,117
If you ask me, neither of
these beers is wholly original.
608
00:29:06,153 --> 00:29:10,055
They're both pale imitations
of my favorite beer, Bud Rock.
609
00:29:10,090 --> 00:29:11,356
- Oh, ho, ho!
- Ooh!
610
00:29:11,391 --> 00:29:13,825
But rendering a verdict
is something
611
00:29:13,860 --> 00:29:17,095
I'm paid to yabba-dabba-do!
612
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:18,430
Eh.
613
00:29:18,465 --> 00:29:21,032
And I find in favor of Duff.
614
00:29:21,068 --> 00:29:21,933
Oh, no!
615
00:29:21,968 --> 00:29:22,767
Oh, no!
616
00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:24,135
Oh, no!
617
00:29:27,641 --> 00:29:28,773
Hello?
618
00:29:28,809 --> 00:29:29,874
Uh, hey.
619
00:29:29,910 --> 00:29:32,110
I'm-I'm
in the wrong Springfield.
620
00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:38,716
So what's going
to happen now?
621
00:29:38,752 --> 00:29:41,186
Well, the Pawtucket Brewery
will be shut down,
622
00:29:41,221 --> 00:29:45,090
so I guess we got to go back to
Quahog and find Peter a new job.
623
00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:46,691
Mmm, that's too bad.
624
00:29:46,726 --> 00:29:50,028
Yeah. Anyways, it was still nice
to meet you and your family,
625
00:29:50,063 --> 00:29:52,363
even though you kind of
screwed us over.
626
00:29:52,399 --> 00:29:53,832
Good to have you.
627
00:29:53,867 --> 00:29:56,000
And, hey, next time
you stay with a family,
628
00:29:56,036 --> 00:29:59,170
maybe you can wear a
bra some of the time.
629
00:29:59,206 --> 00:30:02,107
Hey, uh, Marge, uh,
630
00:30:02,142 --> 00:30:04,382
listen, there's something
difficult that I've been trying
631
00:30:04,411 --> 00:30:06,878
to figure out how to
tell you, and, um...
632
00:30:06,913 --> 00:30:09,747
it's about, uh,
Santa's Little Helper.
633
00:30:09,783 --> 00:30:10,982
What about him?
634
00:30:11,017 --> 00:30:12,717
He's, um...
635
00:30:14,821 --> 00:30:16,754
...right there.
636
00:30:16,790 --> 00:30:19,424
You were trying to figure out
a way to tell me that?
637
00:30:19,459 --> 00:30:21,226
I overthink things
sometimes.
638
00:30:21,261 --> 00:30:23,561
Oh, and, look,
he's with Ed McMahon!
639
00:30:23,597 --> 00:30:25,263
Hey-o!
640
00:30:25,298 --> 00:30:26,764
Here's Johnny!
641
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,099
Chris, we're done.
642
00:30:28,135 --> 00:30:31,102
You may be, but...
"I'm just getting warmed up!"
643
00:30:31,138 --> 00:30:33,638
That's Al Pacino.
644
00:30:33,673 --> 00:30:35,573
Thanks for being
so cool, Lisa.
645
00:30:35,609 --> 00:30:38,209
I cut your name in my arm
so I'll always remember you.
646
00:30:41,581 --> 00:30:43,715
Meg, I want you to have this.
647
00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:45,016
Your saxophone?
648
00:30:45,051 --> 00:30:49,324
Yes, Meg.
When you played the saxophone,
649
00:30:52,196 --> 00:30:56,164
Lisa, no one has ever done
anything this nice for me.
650
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,568
You're amazing,
and I will never be like you.
651
00:30:59,603 --> 00:31:02,704
I'm not pretty, I'm not smart,
I'm not talented.
652
00:31:02,740 --> 00:31:04,973
I have the same shoe size
as Charles Barkley.
653
00:31:05,008 --> 00:31:06,842
My prom date
was a scarecrow I stole,
654
00:31:06,877 --> 00:31:08,577
and he left
with someone else.
655
00:31:08,612 --> 00:31:11,113
The inside of my hat
smells so bad I'm not allowed
656
00:31:11,148 --> 00:31:13,348
in most restaurants...
Hey, hey!
657
00:31:13,384 --> 00:31:15,350
Shut up, Meg.
658
00:31:22,593 --> 00:31:25,060
No luggage. Car's full.
Let's go.
659
00:31:26,063 --> 00:31:27,696
Well, nice knowing you,
Stewie.
660
00:31:27,731 --> 00:31:29,164
Same here, Bart.
661
00:31:29,199 --> 00:31:30,665
Hey, I hope
you don't mind,
662
00:31:30,701 --> 00:31:32,667
I got you a
little present.
663
00:31:35,406 --> 00:31:37,372
Whoa. Is that Nelson?
664
00:31:37,408 --> 00:31:39,174
Stewie, what the deuce?
665
00:31:39,209 --> 00:31:41,176
Yes, I... Oh!
Oh, that's nice.
666
00:31:41,211 --> 00:31:43,111
You got that from me.
'Cause, you know,
667
00:31:43,147 --> 00:31:45,313
I was starting to worry
this was a one-way thing.
668
00:31:45,349 --> 00:31:47,048
You kidnapped him?
669
00:31:47,084 --> 00:31:49,017
I kidnapped all your enemies.
670
00:31:49,052 --> 00:31:52,487
Nelson, Jimbo, Principal
Skinner, Sideshow Bob, Apu.
671
00:31:52,523 --> 00:31:55,290
I know Apu's not your enemy,
but I just wanted to say,
672
00:31:55,325 --> 00:31:57,726
"I took Apu."
673
00:31:57,761 --> 00:32:00,128
That is funny!
674
00:32:00,164 --> 00:32:01,997
But the rest of this?
It's messed up, man.
675
00:32:02,032 --> 00:32:03,632
I know! Isn't it awesome?
676
00:32:03,667 --> 00:32:06,001
So, how do you want to keep
in touch? Facebook? Twitter?
677
00:32:06,036 --> 00:32:07,769
Late-night phone calls
lying on our tummies
678
00:32:07,805 --> 00:32:09,237
with our feet up in the air?
679
00:32:09,273 --> 00:32:10,772
Stewie, I don't think
we can be friends.
680
00:32:10,808 --> 00:32:12,374
You freak me out.
681
00:32:12,409 --> 00:32:14,910
Bart, if we don't keep in touch,
I'll kill myself.
682
00:32:14,945 --> 00:32:16,244
That's what I'm talking about.
683
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,180
Later, dude!
684
00:32:18,215 --> 00:32:20,048
Later...
685
00:32:20,083 --> 00:32:21,817
dude.
686
00:32:22,853 --> 00:32:25,487
Haw-haw!
687
00:32:51,152 --> 00:32:52,885
Aw.
688
00:32:54,288 --> 00:32:55,588
Hey, Griffin.
689
00:32:55,623 --> 00:32:57,757
Sorry about your job.
690
00:32:57,792 --> 00:32:59,692
I was just sticking
up for Duff.
691
00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:00,860
I love Duff.
692
00:33:00,895 --> 00:33:02,395
And Duff loves me.
693
00:33:02,430 --> 00:33:03,829
Duff can keep a secret.
694
00:33:03,865 --> 00:33:05,297
Duff never says no.
695
00:33:05,333 --> 00:33:08,401
Duff is more experimental than
any partner I've ever had.
696
00:33:08,436 --> 00:33:11,771
Anyway, the point
is, I'm sorry.
697
00:33:11,806 --> 00:33:15,041
You know, when I first met you,
I thought, hey, I love this guy!
698
00:33:15,076 --> 00:33:16,809
This is the funniest guy
I've ever met.
699
00:33:16,844 --> 00:33:18,811
I'm gonna quote this guy
to all my friends.
700
00:33:18,846 --> 00:33:20,846
I love his town,
I love his family.
701
00:33:20,882 --> 00:33:23,416
But now, I think
I speak for all of us
702
00:33:23,451 --> 00:33:26,318
when I say,
I am over the Simpsons!
703
00:33:26,354 --> 00:33:28,354
Wh-What
are you saying?
704
00:33:28,389 --> 00:33:30,456
I'm saying
the Simpsons suck!
705
00:33:30,491 --> 00:33:32,191
Why, you...
706
00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:02,555
Ow! What the hell?
That really hurts.
707
00:34:02,590 --> 00:34:05,891
No, it doesn't!
I do it to my son all the time.
708
00:34:05,927 --> 00:34:07,827
You strangle your son?
That's insane!
709
00:34:07,862 --> 00:34:10,996
No wonder he's fat and stupid
and masturbates all the time.
710
00:34:11,032 --> 00:34:12,231
That's your son!
711
00:34:43,965 --> 00:34:45,498
Phew!
712
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:55,174
Hey! Knock it off!
There's a kid back there!
713
00:34:55,209 --> 00:34:57,743
I'm in danger.
714
00:35:37,451 --> 00:35:40,920
Hey, that's no fair.
I don't got none of them.
715
00:35:48,329 --> 00:35:49,929
Uh-oh.
716
00:35:56,437 --> 00:35:58,404
Hey, hey!
717
00:35:58,439 --> 00:35:59,638
Uh-oh.
718
00:36:16,791 --> 00:36:18,090
Ooh.
719
00:36:55,329 --> 00:36:56,695
Damn it!
720
00:37:00,768 --> 00:37:03,636
And remember, kids,
TV violence is fine
721
00:37:03,671 --> 00:37:06,038
as long as you
don't show a nipple.
722
00:37:23,891 --> 00:37:25,157
Perfect.
723
00:37:25,192 --> 00:37:28,027
The earthlings are
destroying themselves.
724
00:37:28,062 --> 00:37:30,496
Yeah, it's really great,
isn't it, guys?
725
00:37:30,531 --> 00:37:32,498
We went to summer camp together.
726
00:37:37,939 --> 00:37:40,306
Bye! Thanks for having me.
727
00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:44,310
Huh?
728
00:37:47,848 --> 00:37:50,182
It appears that I
am now the only one
729
00:37:50,217 --> 00:37:51,951
with radioactive powers,
730
00:37:51,986 --> 00:37:54,586
which will allow me
to unleash my fury...
731
00:37:54,622 --> 00:37:56,822
Oh, I talked too long.
732
00:38:27,488 --> 00:38:29,755
- We're gonna make it!
- Trust me, we're not.
733
00:38:43,804 --> 00:38:45,104
Huh?
Huh?
734
00:38:45,139 --> 00:38:46,605
Huh?
Huh? Huh?
735
00:38:52,613 --> 00:38:53,746
Whoa!
736
00:38:53,781 --> 00:38:54,913
Whoo-hoo!
737
00:38:55,850 --> 00:38:56,982
Road house.
738
00:39:16,037 --> 00:39:17,736
Aah-aah!
739
00:40:16,697 --> 00:40:19,598
Say hi to Maude Flanders.
740
00:40:20,768 --> 00:40:24,169
No. You say hi
to Muriel Goldman.
741
00:40:24,205 --> 00:40:24,703
Who?
742
00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:57,736
What are you
still doing here?
743
00:40:57,771 --> 00:40:59,671
I think you're gonna get
a kick out of this.
744
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:01,607
You're parked behind me
at your place.
745
00:41:01,642 --> 00:41:02,741
That is funny.
746
00:41:02,776 --> 00:41:04,076
Hey, listen, I...
747
00:41:04,111 --> 00:41:05,844
I'm sorry we fought.
748
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,480
I just wanted
to make you laugh and cry.
749
00:41:08,516 --> 00:41:10,682
You see, I'm a Family Guy.
750
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:11,783
I understand.
751
00:41:11,819 --> 00:41:14,019
I'm a The Simpsons.
752
00:41:14,054 --> 00:41:16,655
Look, even if we
don't work as best pals,
753
00:41:16,690 --> 00:41:18,891
I respect you.
You, too.
754
00:41:18,926 --> 00:41:22,327
Let's just agree to stay a half hour
away from each other.
755
00:41:22,363 --> 00:41:25,097
With a pile of
garbage between us.
756
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,102
Worst chicken fight ever.
757
00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:36,401
It sure is nice to
be back in Quahog.
758
00:41:36,402 --> 00:41:39,870
Oh, and thank God all the commotion
about Dad's comic blew over.
759
00:41:39,905 --> 00:41:42,239
Oh, my God, I had a comic?
That's hilarious!
760
00:41:42,274 --> 00:41:44,441
Well, you may not be
a cartoonist anymore,
761
00:41:44,477 --> 00:41:47,144
but you are a local hero
for defending our beer,
762
00:41:47,179 --> 00:41:50,247
and apparently, that's more
important than hating women.
763
00:41:50,282 --> 00:41:53,150
So here you go,
a Pawtucket Patriot Ale.
764
00:41:53,185 --> 00:41:55,786
What? I don't understand.
Ain't the brewery out of business?
765
00:41:55,821 --> 00:41:57,821
We lost a court case.
Yes, we lost,
766
00:41:57,857 --> 00:41:59,590
but how are they
gonna enforce it?
767
00:41:59,625 --> 00:42:01,392
What, are they
gonna come here?
768
00:42:01,427 --> 00:42:03,827
I think we know that's
never gonna happen.
769
00:42:03,863 --> 00:42:06,530
Hey, Stewie, I'm sorry Bart
didn't want to be your friend.
770
00:42:06,565 --> 00:42:08,399
What? No! What are
you talking about?
771
00:42:08,434 --> 00:42:10,167
He was lame.
If you ask me,
772
00:42:10,202 --> 00:42:12,336
he kind of sounded like a girl.
Really?
773
00:42:12,371 --> 00:42:14,071
Kind of seemed like
you idolized him.
774
00:42:14,106 --> 00:42:16,940
And I can understand losing
a friend and feeling rejected.
775
00:42:16,976 --> 00:42:18,475
Course you can!
You're a loser.
776
00:42:18,511 --> 00:42:20,244
But not me.
I'm a lone wolf.
777
00:42:20,279 --> 00:42:22,813
Speaking of which,
I'm gonna go howl at the moon.
778
00:42:22,848 --> 00:42:25,015
Don't need nobody.
779
00:42:43,636 --> 00:42:47,604
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
780
00:42:53,646 --> 00:42:54,878
Shh.
781
00:42:54,914 --> 00:42:58,182
♪ And now the show
is over now. ♪