1 00:00:34,932 --> 00:00:37,680 - A-Team roll call. Face. - Here and handsome. 2 00:00:37,779 --> 00:00:40,363 - Murdoch? - Here and crazy. 3 00:00:40,466 --> 00:00:42,221 - B. A? - I pity the fool. 4 00:00:42,321 --> 00:00:45,167 But I also suggest ways he may better himself. 5 00:00:45,263 --> 00:00:46,888 Man, this is gonna be a fun day. 6 00:00:46,991 --> 00:00:50,251 Much better than that day I tried Tag body spray for sick cats. 7 00:00:54,474 --> 00:00:56,164 Oh, God. 8 00:00:56,266 --> 00:00:58,337 Oh, God. Oh, no. 9 00:00:58,441 --> 00:01:00,644 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 10 00:01:01,575 --> 00:01:05,348 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no. You're cute. You're cute. 11 00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:07,451 I don't want to pet you, though. 12 00:01:08,740 --> 00:01:10,146 Oh, all right. 13 00:01:12,130 --> 00:01:14,017 What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? 14 00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:18,078 Oh, no! Okay. No, yeah, no. This spray is not for me. 15 00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:22,679 Brian, what are you doing here? 16 00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:25,332 - Yeah. You look just like Alf. - Peter, I'm not Alf. 17 00:01:25,435 --> 00:01:27,138 Actually, I'm Douglas Brackman from L. A. Law, 18 00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:29,794 but I'm really here to write an article on the convention for the Daily Shopper. 19 00:01:29,818 --> 00:01:32,664 Well, you'll have a lot to write about after we win the costume contest. 20 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,733 Hey, check it out. Bill Cosby aerobics. 21 00:01:41,139 --> 00:01:44,367 Okay, everyone. Alan Thicke will be up in a minute to answer your hate mail. 22 00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:46,986 But first, the winners of this year's costume contest: 23 00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:49,390 The A-Team with the real black guy. 24 00:01:49,487 --> 00:01:52,006 - Sweet! - All right! All right! 25 00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,476 Okay, you can stop with that cigar now, Gary. 26 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,481 My sinuses will thank you. 27 00:02:04,488 --> 00:02:06,723 Brian, I read your article in the Daily Shopper. 28 00:02:06,823 --> 00:02:09,156 - It was wonderful. - Don't oversell it, Lois. 29 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,562 No, it was good. 30 00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:13,245 It almost felt like it was written by a real writer. 31 00:02:13,348 --> 00:02:14,940 I read your article, too, Brian. 32 00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:17,225 It seems to me you should spend less time working for the paper 33 00:02:17,249 --> 00:02:19,569 and more time working on that novel you've been working on. 34 00:02:19,616 --> 00:02:20,616 You know... 35 00:02:21,888 --> 00:02:24,276 - This is Brian. - Brian, this is Wellesley Shepherdson. 36 00:02:24,382 --> 00:02:27,544 I'm calling from The New Yorker. Perhaps you've heard of us? 37 00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:30,480 Yeah, of course I've heard of you. 38 00:02:30,587 --> 00:02:33,487 I was using the Daily Shopper to shoo away a homeless person, 39 00:02:33,594 --> 00:02:34,706 and I saw your article. 40 00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:37,143 We'd love to talk to you about becoming a contributor. 41 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,403 - Why don't you come by tomorrow? - Wow! Yeah. That'd be great. 42 00:02:40,502 --> 00:02:42,028 All right. 2:00. I'll see you then. 43 00:02:42,134 --> 00:02:43,894 They want me to contribute to The New Yorker. 44 00:02:43,957 --> 00:02:47,403 The New Yorker? You'll fit in there as well as I did at Woodstock. 45 00:02:47,507 --> 00:02:49,545 Excuse me. It's been brought to my attention 46 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:52,877 that a few bad apples out there are smoking marijuana. 47 00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:55,495 I've got news for you, my friend. Marijuana's illegal. 48 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:57,831 Not cool. All right then. 49 00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,593 - You suck! - Learn the rules! 50 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,003 And this is our writers' lounge where you'll meet some of our contributors. 51 00:03:12,102 --> 00:03:13,989 - Fielding Wellingtonsworth. - Hello. 52 00:03:14,086 --> 00:03:16,190 - Livingston Winstofford. - Yes. 53 00:03:16,292 --> 00:03:19,225 - Amelia Bedford Furthington Chesterhill. - Good day. 54 00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,152 And James William Bottomtooth. 55 00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:25,375 Everyone, this is Brian, our newest contributor. 56 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,780 Hi, there. How's it going? 57 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,766 - Would you like some tea? - Cigar? 58 00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:29,974 Brandy? 59 00:03:31,197 --> 00:03:34,294 - No. I'm good, thanks. - We read your article, Brian. 60 00:03:34,396 --> 00:03:38,616 Your study in post-modern American subcultures was quite illuminating. 61 00:03:38,713 --> 00:03:41,559 Oh, wow, thanks. That really means a lot coming from you guys. 62 00:03:44,503 --> 00:03:45,517 I'm sorry? 63 00:03:49,205 --> 00:03:50,205 Yes? 64 00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:57,646 - Hey, is there a bathroom around here? - Yes, yes. Follow me. 65 00:04:01,198 --> 00:04:02,198 Where are the toilets? 66 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,194 Oh, no one at The New Yorker has an anus. 67 00:04:07,051 --> 00:04:08,992 Peter, it's been two weeks. 68 00:04:09,099 --> 00:04:11,716 Don't you think it's time to take off your A-Team costume? 69 00:04:11,817 --> 00:04:13,158 Yeah, I guess so. 70 00:04:13,256 --> 00:04:16,321 But part of me wished we could just be the A-Team forever, you know? 71 00:04:17,063 --> 00:04:20,410 This damn chair keeps wobbling. I think one of the legs is short. 72 00:04:20,516 --> 00:04:24,159 - Lance, I told you to fix that chair! - I checked it earlier. It seems fine. 73 00:04:26,594 --> 00:04:29,276 Oh, that chair's always like that. Here, we'll help you. 74 00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,094 Wow, thanks! 75 00:04:35,198 --> 00:04:37,913 Hey, if we could fix that wobbly chair, 76 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,400 think of what else we could do for our community. 77 00:04:40,507 --> 00:04:41,521 Cleveland's right. 78 00:04:41,626 --> 00:04:44,658 It seems it's our destiny to be the A-Team after all. 79 00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:47,636 We're the A-Team! Yeah! 80 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:52,268 In 2005, a group of local misfits won a costume contest 81 00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:54,161 at an '80s TV convention. 82 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:57,324 These men promptly returned home and drank some beer. 83 00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,793 Today they survive as soldiers of fortune. 84 00:04:59,889 --> 00:05:02,408 If you have a problem, if no one else can help, 85 00:05:02,512 --> 00:05:06,372 and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The A-Team. 86 00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:45,656 So I said to him, "Brown liquor before Labor Day? 87 00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:47,445 "What, do you work for Esquire? '" 88 00:05:48,538 --> 00:05:51,700 Oh, Brian, how droll! We'll have to put that into a cartoon. 89 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,548 Or as we call it, an illustrated laughing square. 90 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,020 Wow. You went to Harvard, huh? 91 00:05:56,117 --> 00:05:58,091 I'm an Ivy League man myself. I went to Brown. 92 00:05:58,196 --> 00:06:01,610 My incarcerated business partner's retarded gay niece went to Brown. 93 00:06:01,715 --> 00:06:05,291 - What year did you graduate? - Well, I mean, I didn't technically graduate. 94 00:06:05,393 --> 00:06:07,661 You're a college dropout? 95 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,279 Brian, The New Yorker does not employ your kind. 96 00:06:10,382 --> 00:06:12,137 You, sir, are fired! 97 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,062 Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you. 98 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:30,499 How come you never told us you dropped out of college? 99 00:06:30,597 --> 00:06:33,148 I saw an after-school special about that. 100 00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:35,966 It didn't work out too well for Kristy McNichol. 101 00:06:36,065 --> 00:06:37,690 But then again, nothing did. 102 00:06:37,793 --> 00:06:41,914 I was only one course shy of graduating and I just cracked under the pressure. 103 00:06:42,015 --> 00:06:44,316 And now it just cost me the best job I ever had. 104 00:06:44,413 --> 00:06:47,641 Well, don't take it too hard. You're not the first person to get fired. 105 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,796 Look, Louis, the French people really want to thank you for your services as king. 106 00:06:51,898 --> 00:06:55,824 But it's just not working out and we've decided to go another way. 107 00:06:55,928 --> 00:06:56,928 So... 108 00:06:57,975 --> 00:06:59,120 Yeah. 109 00:06:59,254 --> 00:07:02,569 I just heard the dog got fired. Did I miss it? Did he cry yet? 110 00:07:02,676 --> 00:07:05,740 Oh, come on, dog. Cry for me. There, there you are. 111 00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:09,453 Oh, yeah. Cry for Stewie. Life isn't what you thought it would be. 112 00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:12,780 Boy, I'll tell you, not graduating from college has haunted me for years. 113 00:07:12,879 --> 00:07:16,739 But, Brian, if you only had one class left, why don't you just go back and finish? 114 00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:19,910 - Plenty of people do that. - You know, Lois, that's not a bad idea. 115 00:07:20,012 --> 00:07:22,694 Well, this is boring. Let's go see what Meg is up to. 116 00:07:30,535 --> 00:07:31,811 Hello, Meg. 117 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,026 Stewie? What the hell are you doing here? 118 00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:59,437 Are you kidding? I couldn't miss watching you crash and burn 119 00:07:59,544 --> 00:08:01,518 in this misguided attempt to finish college. 120 00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:02,702 Look, you're not staying. 121 00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:04,894 I'm gonna call Lois and have her pick you up right now. 122 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:09,007 Hi, I'm your roommate Caleb. I like cutting myself. I bleed a lot. 123 00:08:09,107 --> 00:08:10,601 Could I have the top bunk? 124 00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:14,954 He already has a roommate. Me. We're a couple of crazy college kooks. 125 00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:18,284 For example, we're about to make a hilarious answering-machine message. 126 00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:21,283 You've reached Stewie and Brian. We're not here right now. 127 00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:24,770 And if this is Mom, send money because we're college students 128 00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:27,362 and we need money for books and highlighters, 129 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,288 and Ramen Noodles, 130 00:08:29,386 --> 00:08:33,312 and condoms for sexual relations with our classmates. 131 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,085 All right, fine. You can stay if you want. But what do I tell Lois? 132 00:08:39,109 --> 00:08:42,074 You don't have to tell her anything. Gary Coleman owed me a favor. 133 00:08:42,403 --> 00:08:44,769 Stewie, you want some more strained peas? 134 00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:46,392 What you talking about, vile woman? 135 00:08:48,512 --> 00:08:50,421 There she is, boys. All done. 136 00:08:50,527 --> 00:08:54,355 The A-Team is ready to help rid the world of injustice and evil. 137 00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:56,051 Yeah! 138 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,251 - All right! - Yeah! 139 00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,132 Let's do it! 140 00:09:22,256 --> 00:09:23,597 This is Advanced Physics, right? 141 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,082 I have a right to defend myself as a woman! 142 00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:28,424 No means no! 143 00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,912 - What the hell is wrong with you? - I'm sorry. 144 00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:34,246 I just came from that orientation seminar about college dating. 145 00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:37,955 Hi, I'm Kelly McGillis. And I'm here to talk to you about rape. 146 00:09:38,056 --> 00:09:40,869 Ladies, look to your left. Now look to your right. 147 00:09:40,966 --> 00:09:43,682 Statistics indicate that both of those men will rape you. 148 00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:47,260 - I'm not gonna rape you. - I might. 149 00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:50,369 Good morning, class. 150 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,774 Hey, can I borrow a pencil? 151 00:09:51,873 --> 00:09:55,067 Now, now, it looks like we have a comedian. 152 00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,141 I wasn't making a joke. I was just asking... 153 00:09:57,246 --> 00:10:01,041 Now, Louie Anderson, our first test is Friday. 154 00:10:01,148 --> 00:10:04,462 And if you don't pass, you are not in the class. 155 00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,951 Fluffy! Fluffy, come down! 156 00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:11,381 Oh, Mommy, Daddy, what are we gonna do? 157 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,107 Don't you worry, sad little girl. 158 00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:18,633 The A-team will get your beloved kitty down. 159 00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:19,884 Ready, boys? 160 00:10:32,077 --> 00:10:33,985 No need to thank us. It's what we do. 161 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,000 Who the hell are you guys? 162 00:10:37,355 --> 00:10:38,630 We're the A-Team. 163 00:10:44,871 --> 00:10:45,983 Get off my property! 164 00:10:46,086 --> 00:10:47,907 Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Let's go. 165 00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:54,265 What do you think? 166 00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:57,532 I got this at the school store. It's an M.C. Escher drawing. 167 00:10:57,632 --> 00:11:00,119 I think it's called Crazy Stairs. 168 00:11:00,223 --> 00:11:01,983 Look, Stewie, I got to finish this assignment 169 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,735 or I'm gonna fail this class. 170 00:11:05,244 --> 00:11:06,487 - All done. - What? 171 00:11:06,588 --> 00:11:08,562 Stewie, I can't use this. It'd be cheating. 172 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,902 Fine. Listen, I'll be out on the quad. 173 00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,856 Do you know what I've discovered about myself since I've been in college? 174 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,780 I am so all about Ultimate Frisbee. 175 00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:29,416 Oh, no! Did that hit Crazy Stairs? 176 00:11:32,687 --> 00:11:34,791 I've graded your assignments. 177 00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:39,266 Clearly there is only one person here who understands the material. 178 00:11:39,372 --> 00:11:40,833 Brian Griffin. 179 00:11:42,538 --> 00:11:44,261 Just got lucky, I guess. 180 00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:47,393 No, Brian. I underestimated you. 181 00:11:47,496 --> 00:11:50,756 Here, let me put a smiley face on your test. 182 00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:54,042 May I borrow your pen? 183 00:11:54,627 --> 00:11:58,335 You... Do you want me to just stick it in there? 184 00:11:58,434 --> 00:11:59,448 Yes. 185 00:12:07,677 --> 00:12:10,197 There. You have earned that. 186 00:12:19,032 --> 00:12:20,918 Hey, what's up, B-rie? 187 00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:23,381 Stewie, just give me a beer. I've had a bad day. 188 00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,378 I cheated on that assignment. 189 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:30,094 You know, I haven't taken a shower since we got here. I totally reek, man. 190 00:12:30,194 --> 00:12:31,786 - Check this out. - Come on! 191 00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:33,133 Tell me that's not epic. 192 00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:35,981 You know, I didn't come back to college just to cheat my way through. 193 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,486 I wanted to do it on my own. 194 00:12:37,583 --> 00:12:39,589 Will you relax? Plenty of people cheat. 195 00:12:39,694 --> 00:12:41,765 Once again, Ashlee Simpson. 196 00:13:04,098 --> 00:13:05,275 Oh, my God! Mom, look. 197 00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:07,856 They're tearing down Roger Williams Park to build a strip mall. 198 00:13:07,936 --> 00:13:11,283 Oh, no. I take Stewie there all the time, don't I, sweetie? 199 00:13:11,389 --> 00:13:13,145 Victory shall be mine. 200 00:13:13,245 --> 00:13:15,513 That's where I go to make out with my boyfriend... 201 00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:18,294 Darren Mitchelstork. 202 00:13:18,682 --> 00:13:21,267 Yup, he's the chairman 203 00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:25,229 of the soccer ball team. 204 00:13:25,335 --> 00:13:26,578 Well, all right. 205 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:30,059 Make sure you practice safe sex, Meg. 206 00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:35,403 You little liar! 207 00:13:35,506 --> 00:13:39,181 Roger Williams Park? That sounds like a job for the A-Team. 208 00:13:41,967 --> 00:13:43,624 - Hi, Dad. - Go to your room. 209 00:13:43,726 --> 00:13:44,870 Okay. 210 00:13:53,161 --> 00:13:54,305 Ah, Brian. 211 00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:58,237 I am glad you could come to my faculty cocktail party. 212 00:13:58,343 --> 00:14:00,829 Let me introduce my wife Helen. 213 00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:05,154 Damn it, Steve. You forgot to put out the cheese and crackers. 214 00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:08,992 Helen, don't start with me in front of our guests. 215 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,812 Do you think I like hitting you? 216 00:14:14,239 --> 00:14:16,627 I am sorry you had to see that. 217 00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:19,383 Look, sir, I really need to confess something to you. 218 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,385 - That assignment I turned in... - You know, Brian, 219 00:14:22,491 --> 00:14:25,239 before you came along, I was so depressed, 220 00:14:25,337 --> 00:14:27,670 I was planning to kill myself. 221 00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,742 But you have inspired me. 222 00:14:29,847 --> 00:14:33,740 If you can learn, maybe one day I can walk. 223 00:14:34,037 --> 00:14:36,425 Now, what was it you wanted to say? 224 00:14:37,907 --> 00:14:38,907 Nothing. 225 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:42,757 You were supposed to get potato chips, you jackass. 226 00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:47,172 Damn it, Helen. Get the hell off my back or so help me. 227 00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:48,772 So help me. 228 00:14:49,198 --> 00:14:52,044 Don't worry. I hear they have great makeup sex. 229 00:14:52,876 --> 00:14:54,947 - That feels so good. - Oh, yeah. 230 00:14:55,051 --> 00:14:57,122 - Hello. - Like that? 231 00:14:57,226 --> 00:14:58,654 Oh, baby. 232 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,832 I thought about this all day. 233 00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:08,256 Not so fast. You are hurting me. 234 00:15:13,026 --> 00:15:15,675 - All right. All right. - Stewie, come on. We're going home. 235 00:15:15,776 --> 00:15:17,269 What the devil are you talking about? 236 00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:18,652 My final exam is tomorrow 237 00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:20,604 and the only way I'm gonna pass is if I cheat. 238 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,221 And if I do that, what was the point of coming back to college? 239 00:15:23,325 --> 00:15:26,487 We can't leave. It's almost halftime and we all pooped in the tuba. 240 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,345 Okay, we can go. 241 00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:46,352 Hey, what are you guys doing? This is a job site. 242 00:15:46,449 --> 00:15:48,619 No, it's not! It's Roger Williams Park, 243 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,272 and we're here to stop you from destroying it. 244 00:15:51,374 --> 00:15:53,478 Whoa! Whoa! What are you gonna do? Kill us? 245 00:15:54,157 --> 00:15:55,978 Oh, no, no. We wouldn't do that. 246 00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:59,370 We'll probably just shoot the ground all around you to make you scared. 247 00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:01,298 And then you'll jump in your truck and speed off, 248 00:16:01,322 --> 00:16:03,120 hit something and do a wicked flip through the air. 249 00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:04,368 - Well, that'd kill us. - No, no. 250 00:16:04,392 --> 00:16:06,952 You guys will just roll out of the vehicle, and dust yourself off 251 00:16:07,015 --> 00:16:08,803 and lumber back to your hideout, defeated. 252 00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:12,031 Buddy, I had a cousin got in a fender bender at five miles an hour, 253 00:16:12,132 --> 00:16:14,335 messed his neck up, he's got partial numbness. 254 00:16:14,435 --> 00:16:16,257 He's just not the same guy anymore. 255 00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:18,622 - Was he wearing his safety belt? - Thank God. 256 00:16:18,721 --> 00:16:21,851 Yeah, 'cause, you know, I know this guy who took his car in for an oil change. 257 00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:24,700 And then later he got in a wreck, and the airbag didn't deploy. 258 00:16:24,798 --> 00:16:26,903 Turns out they stole it, sold it for spare parts. 259 00:16:27,005 --> 00:16:28,499 - No way! - It happens. 260 00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:31,898 They call them chop shops. Makes it harder to track stolen parts. 261 00:16:31,994 --> 00:16:33,455 Jeez, that is awful. 262 00:16:34,009 --> 00:16:35,769 Well, look, you guys got a lot of work to do. 263 00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:37,312 We should probably get out of your hair. 264 00:16:37,336 --> 00:16:38,709 Take it easy, guys. 265 00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:41,324 Don't forget to put your tools away. 266 00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:46,254 - We blew it, didn't we? - Boy, you can say that again. 267 00:16:46,356 --> 00:16:48,689 We were right there, ready to save Roger Williams Park, 268 00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:50,924 and we got sidetracked by idle conversation. 269 00:16:51,025 --> 00:16:52,715 We're a terrible A-Team. 270 00:16:52,816 --> 00:16:54,616 You know what the problem is? We didn't stay focused. 271 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,060 That's exactly it. I was gonna... We didn't stay focused. 272 00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,816 I mean, we were right there, you know? And then we just... 273 00:16:59,916 --> 00:17:02,087 Somehow we just... I mean... 274 00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:05,004 Well, it's already been said. We didn't stay focused. 275 00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,478 And now back to The Facts of Life. 276 00:17:08,585 --> 00:17:10,406 Hey, Mrs. Garrett, can I ask you something? 277 00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:11,780 What is it, Jo? 278 00:17:11,878 --> 00:17:14,659 Is it a problem if your penis and your vagina touch each other? 279 00:17:14,757 --> 00:17:15,757 What? 280 00:17:15,812 --> 00:17:17,273 Well, I try to keep them separated, 281 00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:20,095 but I woke up this morning and they were sort of together. 282 00:17:20,195 --> 00:17:21,852 I just didn't know. Is that okay? 283 00:17:21,954 --> 00:17:24,822 - You have both? - Well, yeah. Doesn't everybody? 284 00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:26,172 No! 285 00:17:26,943 --> 00:17:30,138 - Brian, what are you doing home? - I couldn't do it, Lois. 286 00:17:30,238 --> 00:17:32,408 You know, I thought I'd be able to finish this time. 287 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:35,541 But I just don't have what it takes to be a college graduate. 288 00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:39,220 But you're so close. I mean, your final exam's tomorrow. 289 00:17:39,321 --> 00:17:41,742 You can't just give up. You could study tonight. 290 00:17:41,848 --> 00:17:45,392 - And I think if you really work at it... - Lois, it's over. All right? 291 00:17:45,494 --> 00:17:48,111 - I'm not going. - Well, whatever you say. 292 00:17:48,852 --> 00:17:50,826 Hey, what's in this closet? 293 00:17:51,412 --> 00:17:54,258 - What are you doing? - Well, my, my! 294 00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:56,425 Mr. Hoover's come to visit. 295 00:17:56,528 --> 00:17:58,382 I don't want to see Mr. Hoover. 296 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,294 I wonder if Mr. Hoover has anything to say about all this? 297 00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:04,389 Lois, this is not funny. I really don't want to see Mr... 298 00:18:05,612 --> 00:18:07,073 Stop! Stop it! Stop it! 299 00:18:07,179 --> 00:18:09,317 It's scaring me! Leave me alone! 300 00:18:09,802 --> 00:18:11,208 It's so loud! 301 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:14,111 Stop! Stop it! All right. Okay. I'll study! 302 00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:16,898 - I'll help you if you want. - No, thanks, Lois. 303 00:18:16,999 --> 00:18:18,786 There's only one person who can help me. 304 00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:49,396 Drago! 305 00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:56,302 - You know the exam's in three hours? - Crap! All we've done is work out. 306 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,483 - We should study. - Right. 307 00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:02,537 Peter, you're not wearing your costume anymore. 308 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,883 What's the point? 309 00:19:03,984 --> 00:19:07,113 You know, I thought I could help people with this whole A-Team thing. 310 00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:11,238 But it turns out I'm as useless as that nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson. 311 00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,891 It's like, yeah, she's naked but who gives a shit? 312 00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:16,642 Oh, my God, I overslept. My final exam's in 20 minutes. 313 00:19:16,745 --> 00:19:18,719 Brian, you'll never make it. 314 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:23,524 Unless there was some kind of team of people who could get you there in time. 315 00:19:24,134 --> 00:19:26,653 Peter, do you know anybody like that? 316 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,223 You may start your exams 317 00:19:41,308 --> 00:19:42,420 now. 318 00:19:49,113 --> 00:19:51,283 - Well, how'd you do? - I failed. 319 00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:53,270 - What? You failed? - Yup. 320 00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:55,122 Then what the hell are you smiling for? 321 00:19:55,222 --> 00:19:57,741 Because I took it all the way. I didn't give up on myself. 322 00:19:57,845 --> 00:19:59,469 And I didn't cheat. 323 00:20:00,755 --> 00:20:03,290 - Wow. You probably should have. - Yeah. I was just gonna say that. 324 00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:05,680 Yeah, you would have probably been better off. 325 00:20:06,353 --> 00:20:09,351 Look, it doesn't matter how it turned out. I finished what I started, 326 00:20:09,455 --> 00:20:12,104 which means I have my pride. And that's something. 327 00:20:12,718 --> 00:20:14,516 - No, it's not! - Yeah! Are you out of your mind? 328 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:16,755 I mean, what the... I don't understand that. What is that like? 329 00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,753 - You're such a loser. - I hate you!