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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:11,493
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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God, can you believe that
Trump hung himself in prison?
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I know! And that Chris Christie
lost all that weight.
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He still looks terrible, though.
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(knocking)
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-Oh, hey, Joe.
-Hey, Peter. If you have a sec,
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there's something
I want to talk to you about.
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PETER:
Oh, boy, this is it.
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He wants me to have sex
with Bonnie.
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Now, remember, Peter,
you can't say yes right away.
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You let him talk you into it.
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He's watching for that.
It's part of the dance.
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I will absolutely have sex
with Bonnie.
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JOE:
Sorry, Peter, you're too eager.
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So, I came over to invite you
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to Susie's christening
this weekend.
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-Oh.
-And I don't just want you
to be a guest.
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I was wondering if you'd
be willing to be the godfather.
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-Godfather?
-Yeah, you're my best friend,
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and, well, I'd like you to be
Susie's godfather, too.
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-Godfather II?
-Wow, you're really warming
to this.
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Well, you've made
two very compelling arguments.
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Perhaps we should discuss this
further in my poorly-lit den.
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So, about this offer...
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What are you guys discussing?
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And when did we get a den?
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Sorry, Lois,
half of being a godfather
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is closing the door
in your wife's face
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while she wonders
what's going on inside.
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But I just wanted to...
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PETER: I forgot
it was a swinging door.
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(bell tolling)
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(Italian accent):
DiGiorno. DiGiorno.
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Joe Paterno.
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DiGiorno.
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Damn it, Peter,
being Susie's godfather
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doesn't mean you're in the mob.
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And you can't bring a cat
to church.
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Why not? He's Cat'lic.
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(cat snickering)
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(giggles)
He does a Muttley laugh.
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Where's the priest?
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Oh, the church ran out
of priests months ago,
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'cause of all the diddlin'.
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Now they just have a rabbi
fill in.
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Shalom, everyone.
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Welcome to the christening.
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Now, before the child
goes in the water,
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has it been at least 20 minutes
since she ate?
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-Yes, Rabbi.
-Wonderful.
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Then let's dunk this kid
like a doughnut.
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I hereby christen this child
in the name of Jesus Christ,
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who was killed
by we-don't-know-who,
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it's not important.
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The last thing we want to do
is point fingers...
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Can you please take my daughter
out of the water?
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Sorry.
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Congratulations, sweetie,
you're a Christian.
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From now on, every Sunday
you get to eat a hard cookie
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and pretend it's a guy.
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♪ ♪
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Coffee in the smallest cup
we have, as you requested.
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-Grazie.
-And let me assure you,
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any shouting you hear
from the kitchen
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is not Gordon Ramsay
tearing us apart.
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GORDON RAMSAY:
Oh, disgusting!
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-(dish shatters)
-Scusi.
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Oh, God, here comes Doug.
He just got a race car bed,
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and now I'm gonna have to hear
about it.
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Hey, Stewie.
Still sleeping in the slow lane?
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(forced chuckling)
Okay. Okay.
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So, your mom still taking you
to the ladies' room
81
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-to go pee-pee?
-Actually, yes.
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Yeah, me, too.
I don't like the men's room.
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All the urinals
are at mouth level.
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I don't look at those.
I'm too busy fixing my hair
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in the mirror...
Oh! I'm sorry.
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Ciao, Stewie!
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God, that was humiliating.
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This party
has turned south quick.
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Like Bryan Singer's remake
of Casablanca.
90
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Here's looking at you,
actual kid.
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Everyone,
I'd like to say a few words.
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Uh, it's a very special day,
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as we dedicate Susie's life
to Christ
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before she can consent to it
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or have any conception
of what's happening.
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Susie once licked a booger
off my hand.
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-I'm Chris, by the way.
-Thanks, Chris,
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but let's wait
till we're called upon, bud.
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Anyway,
thank you all for coming.
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And to the host.
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Joe, thank you for having us
in this restaurant
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with a painted wall
that makes Venice look terrible.
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OTHERS:
To Joe!
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Everyone, enjoy.
105
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Uh, for the kids,
we've got games
106
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and also a party princess
dressed as Elsa
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who's clearly a prostitute,
108
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but please
don't proposition her here,
109
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just nod in her direction--
trust me, she'll get it.
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It's her profession.
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Oh, cool, they got a piñata!
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-Peter, it's for the kids.
-Like hell it is.
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I'm the godfather of this event,
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and I want a debilitating
wine-and-candy headache.
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Give me that, kid.
116
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I'm your son, you dick.
117
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Sir, please,
you're making a scene.
118
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No, I'm not.
I can do whatever I want.
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I'm the godfather.
120
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Uh-oh.
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I'm-a so sorry, sir.
I didn't know.
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Stanley Tucci.
123
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Bobby Cannavale.
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Hey! Portuguese waiters
pretending to be Italians!
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Get the godfather
whatever he wants!
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-Godfather?
-There's a new godfather?
-Aw, look at the wall.
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Why does Venice
always look-a so terrible?
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From now on,
you eat on the house.
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You will be treated with
the utmost respect, Godfather.
130
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Grazie. Now please name the
menu item I ordered after me.
131
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The dinosaur chicken tenders?
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All right,
we'll find something else.
133
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Thank you very much.
134
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Hear that, Doug?
My dad's now the godfather.
135
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And yours is...
136
00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:55,687
VP of Systems Integration
or something?
137
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What was that, Stewie?
138
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I was invited to sit
at the first grade table.
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What?!
How'd you get that invite?
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Big D energy, Stewie.
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You either got it or you don't.
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Oh, yeah?
What does the "D" stand for?
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-Divorced?
-(others gasp)
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-Wh-What?!
-Stewie, my parents are trying
to make it work.
145
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-Gee, Stewie.
-They're doing their best.
146
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He ended things with the nanny.
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Not that it's any
of your business.
148
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Oh, yeah.
Uh, g-g-g-good for them.
149
00:06:22,198 --> 00:06:24,107
Gene and Sheryl
are wonderful people.
150
00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:26,776
I-I hope they make it work.
Good vibes. Healing.
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G-G-G-God bless you all.
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00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,399
God, I can't believe Mike Pence
came out of the closet
153
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just before he hung himself
in prison.
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-Bon Jovi, family.
-Morning, Dad.
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Are things gonna change
now that you're a godfather?
156
00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:53,561
Good question, Chris.
And yes, quite a bit.
157
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I'll be touching faces
a lot more than I used to.
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My boys. My bambinos.
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No touch.
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And I'll be totally oblivious
to the affair
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00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:05,924
between my bodyguard
and my wife.
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You look very nice today,
Vincenzo.
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Hey! She gave you a compliment.
164
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What, do you got cotton
in your ears? Answer her.
165
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Yeah, meathead.
What's with this guy, Pop?
166
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And as a mafioso,
I'll be doing more voice-overs,
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which will always begin
by naming everyone at the event.
168
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-What does that even mean?
-PETER: There we were
at breakfast.
169
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,019
It was me, Chris G.,
170
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Meggs, Lois Griff,
171
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Little Stew
172
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and Uncle Junior Grandpa Nephew
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who was my cousin.
174
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,360
It was one of those breakfasts
where you realize
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00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,121
you put on your boxers
the wrong way
176
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and you need an excuse
to leave the room.
177
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-We're out of syrup.
-I'll get it. You stay here.
178
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And will you be
a stricter dad now?
179
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Interesting question.
My value system
180
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will vary wildly
between incredible immorality
181
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,710
and intense social conservatism.
182
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,004
Dad, there's a shipment
of heroin in our driveway.
183
00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:56,216
-Excellent.
-I watched a PG-13 movie
last night.
184
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,459
In your mother's house?
185
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,704
Now, everyone keep eating
until you throw up.
186
00:08:00,764 --> 00:08:03,223
What's this? As a leader
in the Italian community,
187
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:07,043
I'll be getting very upset
about store-bought pasta sauce.
188
00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:08,636
Peter, what the hell?
189
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,489
That was our Prego.
190
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,824
Yeah, and prego means
"you're welcome."
191
00:08:13,017 --> 00:08:15,827
It's a very cocky name
for an average pasta sauce.
192
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,663
The rest of this is just jokes,
but that's kind of a good point.
193
00:08:18,856 --> 00:08:20,557
Now, kids,
before you go to school,
194
00:08:20,659 --> 00:08:22,834
let's discuss what you tell
your friends about me.
195
00:08:23,027 --> 00:08:24,819
That your fingernails
are so filthy
196
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,838
because you do scratchers
all day?
197
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:28,398
Never talk
about the family business!
198
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:30,083
Things are too hot here
for you now.
199
00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,010
You need to go to Italy
for five years.
200
00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:34,087
-What?!
-You're not safe here anymore,
201
00:08:34,239 --> 00:08:36,515
so I'm gonna send you where
all the murderers are from.
202
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,683
♪ ♪
203
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,102
(gasps)
204
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,680
A questo brajola
que facia te di.
205
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,533
Rudy Giuliani.
206
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:58,595
Antipasti di Miguel Corleone
a Sicilia di movies!
207
00:08:58,655 --> 00:09:03,691
Mario Batali el gropo
Buca di Beppo Ford Coppola.
208
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,794
♪ ♪
209
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,674
Ooh! Aah! Mama Mia!
210
00:09:14,245 --> 00:09:16,462
Check it out.
Like all cool mobsters,
211
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,782
my office is at a strip club.
212
00:09:18,842 --> 00:09:21,301
Yeah, but why's it
in a male strip club?
213
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,045
Are you kidding?
Dingaling's is great.
214
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,379
Now, just watch
where you hang your hat.
215
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,881
'Cause of boners.
216
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:29,050
Now, you three are gonna be
my lieutenants.
217
00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:31,294
And don't worry,
you're all equal in my eyes.
218
00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:33,721
I don't care one bit
if you laugh at my jokes.
219
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,633
I mean, this is the Mafia,
not the Laugh Factory, right?
220
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:38,968
-Ha! That's hilarious.
-Quagmire is now
my top lieutenant.
221
00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:41,395
What?! You said we don't have
to like your jokes.
222
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,249
Well, I didn't realize
it was such a chore.
223
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,159
This is bullcrap.
224
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,978
And, Joe, you're a cop-- how
are you okay with any of this?
225
00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:52,014
Are you asking an Irish cop
why he's corrupt?
226
00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:53,499
Question withdrawn.
227
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,501
So, uh,
what do we do now, Peter?
228
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,503
Well, now that
we're a Mafia crew,
229
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,322
I have to do voice-over
naming everyone
230
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,157
-at the event.
-What does that even m...
231
00:10:01,176 --> 00:10:02,434
PETER:
There we were at the club.
232
00:10:02,627 --> 00:10:05,753
It was me, Glenn Quags,
Joey Swan
233
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,755
and Downtown
Julie Cleveland Brown.
234
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:10,350
You remember when there were
two Julie Browns in the '90s?
235
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,669
What a mess.
236
00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:13,837
♪ ♪
237
00:10:13,897 --> 00:10:15,688
With the guys at my side,
238
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:19,075
we were the most powerful
criminal organization in Quahog
239
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,530
We lived like kings,
240
00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:42,532
until things started
to come apart
241
00:10:42,592 --> 00:10:45,793
after the Lufthansa heist.
242
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:51,875
We discussed laying low, but
not everyone agreed with that.
243
00:10:51,935 --> 00:10:53,193
Be careful with this.
244
00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:54,819
We stole it.
245
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,216
Hey, Brian, just a heads-up.
246
00:11:00,276 --> 00:11:02,143
Now that
I'm an Italian mob boss,
247
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,053
I may be treating dogs
more roughly.
248
00:11:04,155 --> 00:11:06,480
Uh, okay.
249
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,667
Now, where's my chicken parm
from last night?
250
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:10,818
Oh, I, uh, I ate it.
251
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,653
-You ate it?
-Yeah, there was no name on it.
252
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:13,838
It was just sitting there.
253
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:14,839
Is there a problem?
254
00:11:15,032 --> 00:11:16,900
No. No.
255
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,218
No problem.
256
00:11:21,923 --> 00:11:23,923
(engine starts)
257
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,332
(grunting)
258
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,352
LOIS:
Peter, I'm home from the market!
259
00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:29,929
I got steak sandwiches
on ciabatta.
260
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,839
Oh, that's way better
than chicken parm.
261
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,675
I'm gonna have it
with my last can of cream soda.
262
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,677
Uh, actually,
I finished that, too.
263
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,363
That's okay, Brian.
264
00:11:38,556 --> 00:11:40,924
Let's take a ride and
get some at the grocery store.
265
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:42,425
Pull over here.
266
00:11:42,485 --> 00:11:43,952
I got to take a leak.
267
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,126
-(gunshots)
-(horn honking)
268
00:11:53,163 --> 00:11:54,528
Leave the gun.
269
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,549
Take the cream soda.
270
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,945
What's going on in here?
271
00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:03,888
Even since Dad became a mobster,
272
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,373
he's been giving me a ton
of Italian children's books.
273
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,542
Green Eggs and Pancetta;
274
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,620
Horton Hears a Yo;
275
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,713
Good Night, Mooks;
276
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,291
and Where the Wild Things Is.
277
00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:17,718
-Stewie, this is ridiculous.
-It's not all bad.
278
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,054
I like having those
Stella D'oro breakfast cookies.
279
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:22,056
Oh, I ate those, sorry.
280
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,576
Ah, no problem, Brian,
no problem at all.
281
00:12:24,727 --> 00:12:27,287
Hey, what do you say you
and I do a little fishing?
282
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:36,662
(gunshot)
283
00:12:36,815 --> 00:12:38,572
Peter, I just got a call
from the school.
284
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,999
When is Chris coming back?
285
00:12:40,151 --> 00:12:41,000
Not for a while.
286
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,485
He moved in with his girlfriend.
287
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,929
But, apparently,
they hit a rough patch.
288
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,265
(door opens)
289
00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,657
(both laugh)
290
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,107
Good news, guys.
I'm fixing the Olympics.
291
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,942
I paid a diver to take a dive.
292
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,610
(phone rings)
293
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,371
What do you mean he won?
294
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,799
You know, Peter, you've been
a mobster for a while now.
295
00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:23,359
I'm surprised we haven't had
any run-ins with rival families.
296
00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:25,545
What are you talking about?
They love me.
297
00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:27,713
Like, look at this, this
morning, totally unprompted,
298
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,715
they sent me
a lovely wrapped fish.
299
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,050
What?
300
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,718
Peter, do you know
what this means?
301
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,479
Yeah, that they're nice guys.
302
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:36,964
Yesterday, one of them even
drove by my house to say
303
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,817
I had a beautiful family
and it would be a shame
304
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,376
if anything happened to them.
305
00:13:40,436 --> 00:13:42,821
And that's a compliment
and empathy.
306
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:44,823
When's the last time you guys
said something like that?
307
00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:47,216
-Uh, Peter, I'm not sure you...
-And look at this.
308
00:13:47,318 --> 00:13:49,327
They found Meg's ear
and returned it.
309
00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:51,054
They returned it!
You know how many guys
310
00:13:51,155 --> 00:13:52,388
would keep something like that?
311
00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:54,223
Peter, please close the box.
312
00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:55,741
I think you need to get wise
to what's going on here,
313
00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:59,729
because their next message
may not be so subtle.
314
00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:02,090
♪ ♪
315
00:14:13,469 --> 00:14:16,354
(screaming)
316
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,524
There it is.
317
00:14:19,717 --> 00:14:22,435
I've been looking for that.
318
00:14:22,587 --> 00:14:24,946
Oh, thank God,
the Mafia doesn't hate me.
319
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:29,016
"You's dead, fat ass.
320
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,869
Love, the Mafia."
321
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,203
(gasps) Oh, my God.
322
00:14:32,396 --> 00:14:34,280
The Mafia does hate me.
(grunts)
323
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,781
MOBSTER 1:
Lenny, what are you doing?
324
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,266
I already threw the rock!
325
00:14:37,327 --> 00:14:38,877
MOBSTER 2:
I wanted to throw the rock.
326
00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:40,937
We talked about this--
you wrote the note,
327
00:14:40,997 --> 00:14:43,530
-I throw the rock.
-So let me get this straight--
328
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,625
I do the homework
and you get to throw the rock?
329
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,869
-I played baseball in college!
-Junior college.
330
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,372
MOBSTER 2:
The coach from University of
Vermont invited me to walk on!
331
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,282
MOBSTER 1:
I didn't even know
you liked chucking rocks.
332
00:14:53,343 --> 00:14:54,800
MOBSTER 2:
Who doesn't like chucking rocks?
333
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,469
I didn't get into the mob
to write letters.
334
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,472
I did it to chuck rocks
and eat sandwiches out of foil.
335
00:14:59,624 --> 00:15:00,957
MOBSTER 1:
Hey, that actually sounds
pretty good.
336
00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:02,642
You want to go get a sandwich?
337
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,068
MOBSTER 2:
Sure, from Big Sal's
or Fat Sal's?
338
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,070
MOBSTER 1:
What's the difference?
339
00:15:06,222 --> 00:15:08,072
MOBSTER 2:
One's big, one's fat.
What's wrong with you today?
340
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,989
God, I can't believe Melania
was deported to Slovenia
341
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,334
and then hung herself
in a European prison.
342
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,755
Man, Peter, what are you
gonna do about the mob?
343
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,757
Don't worry, I got a plan.
344
00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:27,483
I'm gonna hide
and change my identity
345
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:30,002
to a name no one else
has ever heard of.
346
00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:31,654
Roberta Brown.
347
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,414
Peter, that's
my daughter's name.
348
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,749
No, it's just some girl
I follow on Instagram.
349
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,936
You know, Peter, there may be
a way out of this.
350
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:39,086
Cops have been trying
to bring down
351
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,997
the Rhode Island mob for years.
352
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:43,349
If you can schedule a meeting
to discuss your differences
353
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,686
and wear a wire,
we'll arrest them after.
354
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,446
Testify against the mob?
355
00:15:48,639 --> 00:15:50,022
How dumb do you think I am?
356
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,857
(hacking)
357
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,768
-(gasping)
-Oh, my son!
358
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,346
I thought that hard-boiled egg
seemed a little shouty.
359
00:15:57,407 --> 00:15:58,864
All right, I'll do it.
360
00:15:59,017 --> 00:16:01,017
But, man, if I'm in danger,
so is Chris.
361
00:16:01,119 --> 00:16:03,369
I better warn him
to be on the lookout.
362
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,963
(cheering)
363
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:13,379
La dolce vita de duay que
questa di Beverly Hills BMW.
364
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,880
Ay!
365
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:17,291
Que cosa mi amor.
366
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,720
Italiana,
tu patri telefona Boyardee.
367
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:25,650
Grazie. Uno momento, Vinny
Testaverde con Carmine Ragusa.
368
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:28,820
Ciao, Francesco Di Napoli.
369
00:16:33,484 --> 00:16:36,219
Tammy!
370
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,997
♪ ♪
371
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,390
Okay, Peter,
I'm gonna attach the wire now.
372
00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:43,668
And I'm telling you in advance
that it's cold.
373
00:16:43,819 --> 00:16:45,336
Aah! Oh, it's cold!
Oh, it's too cold.
374
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:47,505
-This is why I told you
in advance.
-It's too cold.
375
00:16:47,656 --> 00:16:49,323
-I don't want
to do this anymore.
-Your body heat will warm it.
376
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,657
-I regret this decision deeply.
-Just let your body heat
377
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:51,676
-do the work.
-Oh, it's fine now.
378
00:16:51,827 --> 00:16:53,903
See? That's the body heat.
379
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:56,572
Now, if you get into trouble,
department regulations say
380
00:16:56,591 --> 00:16:58,683
we can't go in there
unless you say a code phrase.
381
00:16:58,876 --> 00:17:01,019
Something that you'd never
actually say in conversation
382
00:17:01,212 --> 00:17:02,687
so we know it's a signal.
383
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,838
The phrase is,
384
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,582
"Did you see
the new Paul Rudd movie?
385
00:17:06,642 --> 00:17:08,192
It's laugh-out-loud funny."
386
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,752
Come on,
can't I just say "watchable"?
387
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,587
No, no,
you have to say it exactly.
388
00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:13,923
"Heartwarming"? I-I mean,
I could just say "heartwarming."
389
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:15,349
Peter, the phrase is the phrase.
390
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,426
Now, you ready to meet
those godfathers?
391
00:17:17,487 --> 00:17:19,186
I guess.
392
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,597
Wonder where the word
"godfather" came from, anyway.
393
00:17:21,616 --> 00:17:24,617
I don't know. I assume
it started with God's father.
394
00:17:24,769 --> 00:17:26,693
(phone rings)
395
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,363
-Yello?
-Hey, Dad, I wrote a big show,
396
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,049
and your grandson Jesus
is in it.
397
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,292
He's kind of the star of it,
really. Can you make it?
398
00:17:33,444 --> 00:17:35,369
(laughs): Well, look at you.
I'm there, pal.
399
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,055
When is it?
When's the big show?
400
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:39,465
-It's Good Friday.
-Oh, don't say Friday.
401
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,300
Ah, I was afraid of that.
402
00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:43,043
Well, there's kind of
a postscript to the story.
403
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,379
-Maybe you could catch that?
-Oh, you betcha, slugger.
404
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,047
-It's on Sunday.
-Oh, you're kidding!
405
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:50,126
Doesn't anyone do anything
on Tuesdays anymore?
406
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:52,219
Listen, I'm getting pulled
into this meeting right now,
407
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,488
but good luck with your thing.
408
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:58,818
I promise I'm going to be
so nice to my son.
409
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,953
♪ ♪
410
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:06,250
JOE:
Okay, Peter, this is it.
411
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,920
Hey, who are you?
412
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,922
Just act natural.
And even though you're miked,
413
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,924
try not to use
your radio voice.
414
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:14,333
(Rick Dees' voice):
Hey, Providence.
415
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,594
This is Peter Whirlybird Griffin
416
00:18:16,787 --> 00:18:19,322
comin' at you
on a sizzlin' Sunday afternoon.
417
00:18:19,423 --> 00:18:21,157
-Peter, no!
-Wait a minute.
418
00:18:21,259 --> 00:18:23,083
You're the new don from Quahog.
419
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,811
Follow me.
420
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:30,090
We're glad that you finally
decided to play ball with us.
421
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,610
Let me introduce you
to the other dons.
422
00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:35,279
Don Duck. Don Keykong.
423
00:18:35,472 --> 00:18:38,132
-Don Amnesia.
-Forget about it.
424
00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:40,359
-Don Omatopoeia.
-Bang.
425
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,287
-The Land Don Under.
-You come to me today,
426
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,289
on the day
of me daughter's barbecue.
427
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:47,274
Don Imus.
428
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,869
The Rutgers basketball team
is Black and disgusting.
429
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,021
That's a wrap for Don Imus.
430
00:18:52,123 --> 00:18:54,615
Finally,
the scariest don of them all:
431
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,968
-Don De-Don-Don.
-Thank you.
432
00:18:57,161 --> 00:18:59,620
I'd like to introduce you all
to my suspenseful son,
433
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,723
Don Don-Don...!
434
00:19:04,835 --> 00:19:07,628
And-and the guy says, "Oh,
I thought you were complaining
435
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,630
about your angina."
436
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:13,209
-You never told us
a beginning to that joke.
-Oh. Sorry.
437
00:19:13,269 --> 00:19:15,044
JOE:
Okay, Peter,
the meeting's almost over.
438
00:19:15,104 --> 00:19:17,062
Just don't blow your cover,
and we're home free.
439
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,490
Hey, anybody want to do karaoke
after this?
440
00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:21,808
Sure. I can use
the mic taped to my chest.
441
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,311
Peter, no!
442
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,223
Uh, the new Paul Rudd movie
is watchable.
443
00:19:27,283 --> 00:19:29,167
I repeat, it's very watchable.
444
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,894
Damn it, Peter!
You have to say it exactly.
445
00:19:31,913 --> 00:19:34,547
Fine. It's laugh-out-loud funny.
446
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:37,991
Freeze! You're all under arrest.
447
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,552
Good job, Peter.
448
00:19:40,796 --> 00:19:42,597
♪ ♪
449
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,408
Freeze!
450
00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:48,244
All right,
nobody do anything stupid.
451
00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:50,021
H-Hold on,
I'm just allowing LinkedIn
452
00:19:50,214 --> 00:19:52,673
to send automated e-mails
to all my contacts.
453
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,917
I said don't do anything stupid.
454
00:19:54,977 --> 00:19:57,678
-(phone chimes)
-"Peter Griffin wants to add you
455
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,363
to his professional network."
456
00:19:59,556 --> 00:20:01,348
Oh! Damn it, Peter!
457
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,285
Hands behind your head.
On the ground.
458
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,687
Aw, we're gonna die.
459
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,265
All right. So long, you two.
460
00:20:09,325 --> 00:20:11,125
♪ ♪
461
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,671
(gunshot)
462
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,539
Oh, my God. Thank you.
463
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,642
Prego.
464
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,788
Well, turns out
being a mobster isn't for me.
465
00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:34,715
Well, I'm just happy
you're home safe.
466
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,216
Me, too, Dad.
467
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,385
Has anyone seen
the rest of my white wine?
468
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,312
Sorry, Lois. I drank that.
469
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,890
Oh. That's fine, Brian.
470
00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:47,954
Hey, what do you say you and me
go for a walk in the woods?
471
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,323
You know what?
This is kind of nice.
472
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:54,067
I thought you were gonna do some
kind of Godfather murder on me.
473
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,829
Oh, Brian,
I don't watch Mafia movies.
474
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,423
-But I did see Fargo.
-Huh?
475
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,625
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH