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00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:04,938
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,141
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:11,612
♪ But where are those
good old‐fashioned values ♪
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00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,715
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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God, can you believe that
Trump hung himself in prison?
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I know! And that Chris Christie
lost all that weight.
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He still looks terrible, though.
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(knocking)
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- Oh, hey, Joe.
- Hey, Peter. If you have a sec,
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there's something
I want to talk to you about.
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PETER:
Oh, boy, this is it.
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He wants me to have sex
with Bonnie.
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Now, remember, Peter,
you can't say yes right away.
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You let him talk you into it.
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He's watching for that.
It's part of the dance.
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I will absolutely have sex
with Bonnie.
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JOE:
Sorry, Peter, you're too eager.
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So, I came over to invite you
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to Susie's christening
this weekend.
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- Oh.
- And I don't just want you
to be a guest.
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I was wondering if you'd
be willing to be the godfather.
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- Godfather?
- Yeah, you're my best friend,
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and, well, I'd like you to be
Susie's godfather, too.
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- Godfather II?
- Wow, you're really warming
to this.
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Well, you've made
two very compelling arguments.
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Perhaps we should discuss this
further in my poorly‐lit den.
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So, about this offer...
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What are you guys discussing?
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And when did we get a den?
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Sorry, Lois,
half of being a godfather
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is closing the door
in your wife's face
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while she wonders
what's going on inside.
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But I just wanted to...
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PETER: I forgot
it was a swinging door.
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(bell tolling)
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(Italian accent):
DiGiorno. DiGiorno.
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Joe Paterno.
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DiGiorno.
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Damn it, Peter,
being Susie's godfather
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doesn't mean you're in the mob.
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And you can't bring a cat
to church.
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Why not? He's Cat'lic.
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(cat snickering)
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(giggles)
He does a Muttley laugh.
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Where's the priest?
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Oh, the church ran out
of priests months ago,
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'cause of all the diddlin'.
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Now they just have a rabbi
fill in.
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Shalom, everyone.
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Welcome to the christening.
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Now, before the child
goes in the water,
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has it been at least 20 minutes
since she ate?
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- Yes, Rabbi.
- Wonderful.
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Then let's dunk this kid
like a doughnut.
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I hereby christen this child
in the name of Jesus Christ,
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who was killed
by we‐don't‐know‐who,
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it's not important.
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The last thing we want to do
is point fingers...
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Can you please take my daughter
out of the water?
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Sorry.
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Congratulations, sweetie,
you're a Christian.
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From now on, every Sunday
you get to eat a hard cookie
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and pretend it's a guy.
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♪ ♪
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Coffee in the smallest cup
we have, as you requested.
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- Grazie.
- And let me assure you,
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any shouting you hear
from the kitchen
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is not Gordon Ramsay
tearing us apart.
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GORDON RAMSAY:
Oh, disgusting!
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‐(dish shatters) ‐Scusi.
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Oh, God, here comes Doug.
He just got a race car bed,
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and now I'm gonna have to hear
about it.
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Hey, Stewie.
Still sleeping in the slow lane?
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(forced chuckling)
Okay. Okay.
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So, your mom still taking you
to the ladies' room
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- to go pee‐pee?
- Actually, yes.
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Yeah, me, too.
I don't like the men's room.
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All the urinals
are at mouth level.
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I don't look at those.
I'm too busy fixing my hair
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in the mirror...
Oh! I'm sorry.
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Ciao, Stewie!
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God, that was humiliating.
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This party
has turned south quick.
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00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,112
Like Bryan Singer's remake
of Casablanca.
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Here's looking at you,
actual kid.
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Everyone,
I'd like to say a few words.
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Uh, it's a very special day,
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as we dedicate Susie's life
to Christ
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before she can consent to it
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or have any conception
of what's happening.
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Susie once licked a booger
off my hand.
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- I'm Chris, by the way.
- Thanks, Chris,
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but let's wait
till we're called upon, bud.
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Anyway,
thank you all for coming.
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And to the host.
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Joe, thank you for having us
in this restaurant
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with a painted wall
that makes Venice look terrible.
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OTHERS:
To Joe!
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Everyone, enjoy.
105
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Uh, for the kids,
we've got games
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and also a party princess
dressed as Elsa
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who's clearly a prostitute,
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but please
don't proposition her here,
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just nod in her direction‐‐
trust me, she'll get it.
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It's her profession.
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Oh, cool, they got a piñata!
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- Peter, it's for the kids.
- Like hell it is.
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I'm the godfather of this event,
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and I want a debilitating
wine‐and‐candy headache.
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Give me that, kid.
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I'm your son, you dick.
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Sir, please,
you're making a scene.
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No, I'm not.
I can do whatever I want.
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I'm the godfather.
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Uh‐oh.
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I'm‐a so sorry, sir.
I didn't know.
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Stanley Tucci.
123
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Bobby Cannavale.
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Hey! Portuguese waiters
pretending to be Italians!
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Get the godfather
whatever he wants!
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- Godfather?
- There's a new godfather?
- Aw, look at the wall.
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Why does Venice
always look‐a so terrible?
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From now on,
you eat on the house.
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You will be treated with
the utmost respect, Godfather.
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Grazie. Now please name the
menu item I ordered after me.
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The dinosaur chicken tenders?
132
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All right,
we'll find something else.
133
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Thank you very much.
134
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Hear that, Doug?
My dad's now the godfather.
135
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And yours is...
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00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,856
VP of Systems Integration
or something?
137
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What was that, Stewie?
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I was invited to sit
at the first grade table.
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What?!
How'd you get that invite?
140
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,996
Big D energy, Stewie.
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You either got it or you don't.
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Oh, yeah?
What does the "D" stand for?
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00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,369
- Divorced?
- (others gasp)
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- Wh‐What?!
- Stewie, my parents are trying
to make it work.
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- Gee, Stewie.
- They're doing their best.
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He ended things with the nanny.
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Not that it's any
of your business.
148
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Oh, yeah.
Uh, g‐g‐g‐good for them.
149
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,150
Gene and Sheryl
are wonderful people.
150
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,820
I‐I hope they make it work.
Good vibes. Healing.
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00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,690
G‐G‐G‐God bless you all.
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God, I can't believe Mike Pence
came out of the closet
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just before he hung himself
in prison.
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- Bon Jovi, family.
- Morning, Dad.
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Are things gonna change
now that you're a godfather?
156
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,680
Good question, Chris.
And yes, quite a bit.
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I'll be touching faces
a lot more than I used to.
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My boys. My bambinos.
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No touch.
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00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,957
And I'll be totally oblivious
to the affair
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00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,059
between my bodyguard
and my wife.
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You look very nice today,
Vincenzo.
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Hey! She gave you a compliment.
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What, do you got cotton
in your ears? Answer her.
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Yeah, meathead.
What's with this guy, Pop?
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00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,438
And as a mafioso,
I'll be doing more voice‐overs,
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which will always begin
by naming everyone at the event.
168
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- What does that even mean?
- PETER: There we were
- at breakfast.
169
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,112
It was me, Chris G.,
170
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,014
Meggs, Lois Griff,
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00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,182
Little Stew
172
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,051
and Uncle Junior Grandpa Nephew
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00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,786
who was my cousin.
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00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,530
It was one of those breakfasts
where you realize
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00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,256
you put on your boxers
the wrong way
176
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,224
and you need an excuse
to leave the room.
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- We're out of syrup.
- I'll get it. You stay here.
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And will you be
a stricter dad now?
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00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,665
Interesting question.
My value system
180
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will vary wildly
between incredible immorality
181
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,837
and intense social conservatism.
182
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,139
Dad, there's a shipment
of heroin in our driveway.
183
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,343
- Excellent.
- I watched a PG‐13 movie
last night.
184
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,511
In your mother's house?
185
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,780
Now, everyone keep eating
until you throw up.
186
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,283
What's this? As a leader
in the Italian community,
187
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:07,053
I'll be getting very upset
about store‐bought pasta sauce.
188
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,688
Peter, what the hell?
189
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,390
That was our Prego.
190
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:12,959
Yeah, and prego means
"you're welcome."
191
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,962
It's a very cocky name
for an average pasta sauce.
192
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,798
The rest of this is just jokes,
but that's kind of a good point.
193
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,600
Now, kids,
before you go to school,
194
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,969
let's discuss what you tell
your friends about me.
195
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,871
That your fingernails
are so filthy
196
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,906
because you do scratchers
all day?
197
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,441
Never talk
about the family business!
198
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,143
Things are too hot here
for you now.
199
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,145
You need to go to Italy
for five years.
200
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,147
- What?!
- You're not safe here anymore,
201
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,649
so I'm gonna send you where
all the murderers are from.
202
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,752
♪ ♪
203
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,229
(gasps)
204
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:52,766
A questo brajola
que facia te di.
205
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,667
Rudy Giuliani.
206
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:58,671
Antipasti di Miguel Corleone
a Sicilia di movies!
207
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:03,743
Mario Batali el gropo
Buca di Beppo Ford Coppola.
208
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,845
♪ ♪
209
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,717
Ooh! Aah! Mama Mia!
210
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,556
Check it out.
Like all cool mobsters,
211
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,792
my office is at a strip club.
212
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:21,394
Yeah, but why's it
in a male strip club?
213
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,930
Are you kidding?
Dingaling's is great.
214
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,474
Now, just watch
where you hang your hat.
215
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,933
'Cause of boners.
216
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,102
Now, you three are gonna be
my lieutenants.
217
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,337
And don't worry,
you're all equal in my eyes.
218
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,773
I don't care one bit
if you laugh at my jokes.
219
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,443
I mean, this is the Mafia,
not the Laugh Factory, right?
220
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,012
- Ha! That's hilarious.
- Quagmire is now
my top lieutenant.
221
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,481
What?! You said we don't have
to like your jokes.
222
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,417
Well, I didn't realize
it was such a chore.
223
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,286
This is bullcrap.
224
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,788
And, Joe, you're a cop‐‐ how
are you okay with any of this?
225
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,991
Are you asking an Irish cop
why he's corrupt?
226
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,626
Question withdrawn.
227
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,628
So, uh,
what do we do now, Peter?
228
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,630
Well, now that
we're a Mafia crew,
229
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,365
I have to do voice‐over
naming everyone
230
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,134
- at the event.
- What does that even m...
231
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,602
PETER:
There we were at the club.
232
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,839
It was me, Glenn Quags,
Joey Swan
233
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,874
and Downtown
Julie Cleveland Brown.
234
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,510
You remember when there were
two Julie Browns in the '90s?
235
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,645
What a mess.
236
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:13,913
♪ ♪
237
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,849
With the guys at my side,
238
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:19,185
we were the most powerful
criminal organization in Quahog
239
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,640
We lived like kings,
240
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,642
until things started
to come apart
241
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,812
after the Lufthansa heist.
242
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:51,985
We discussed laying low, but
not everyone agreed with that.
243
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,353
Be careful with this.
244
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:54,954
We stole it.
245
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,326
Hey, Brian, just a heads‐up.
246
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,095
Now that
I'm an Italian mob boss,
247
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,130
I may be treating dogs
more roughly.
248
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,399
Uh, okay.
249
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,835
Now, where's my chicken parm
from last night?
250
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,770
Oh, I, uh, I ate it.
251
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,772
- You ate it?
- Yeah, there was no name on it.
252
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,973
It was just sitting there.
253
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,040
Is there a problem?
254
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,976
No. No.
255
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,311
No problem.
256
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,083
(engine starts)
257
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,451
(grunting)
258
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,520
LOIS:
Peter, I'm home from the market!
259
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:30,089
I got steak sandwiches
on ciabatta.
260
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:31,958
Oh, that's way better
than chicken parm.
261
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,694
I'm gonna have it
with my last can of cream soda.
262
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,796
Uh, actually,
I finished that, too.
263
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,531
That's okay, Brian.
264
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,034
Let's take a ride and
get some at the grocery store.
265
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,535
Pull over here.
266
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,103
I got to take a leak.
267
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:51,277
‐(gunshots) ‐(horn honking)
268
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,681
Leave the gun.
269
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:57,684
Take the cream soda.
270
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,988
What's going on in here?
271
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,823
Even since Dad became a mobster,
272
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,459
he's been giving me a ton
of Italian children's books.
273
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,628
Green Eggs and Pancetta;
274
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,663
Horton Hears a Yo;
275
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,799
Good Night, Mooks;
276
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:15,335
and Where the Wild Things Is.
277
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,837
- Stewie, this is ridiculous.
- It's not all bad.
278
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,173
I like having those
Stella D'oro breakfast cookies.
279
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,175
Oh, I ate those, sorry.
280
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,510
Ah, no problem, Brian,
no problem at all.
281
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,447
Hey, what do you say you
and I do a little fishing?
282
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,623
(gunshot)
283
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,691
Peter, I just got a call
from the school.
284
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,093
When is Chris coming back?
285
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,160
Not for a while.
286
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,595
He moved in with his girlfriend.
287
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,064
But, apparently,
they hit a rough patch.
288
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,400
(door opens)
289
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,751
(both laugh)
290
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,059
Good news, guys.
I'm fixing the Olympics.
291
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,028
I paid a diver to take a dive.
292
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,696
(phone rings)
293
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,498
What do you mean he won?
294
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,933
You know, Peter, you've been
a mobster for a while now.
295
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,436
I'm surprised we haven't had
any run‐ins with rival families.
296
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,538
What are you talking about?
They love me.
297
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,840
Like, look at this, this
morning, totally unprompted,
298
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,876
they sent me
a lovely wrapped fish.
299
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,177
What?
300
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,879
Peter, do you know
what this means?
301
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:34,647
Yeah, that they're nice guys.
302
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:37,083
Yesterday, one of them even
drove by my house to say
303
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,030
I had a beautiful family
and it would be a shame
304
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,453
if anything happened to them.
305
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,989
And that's a compliment
and empathy.
306
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,034
When's the last time you guys
said something like that?
307
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,327
- Uh, Peter, I'm not sure you...
- And look at this.
308
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,462
They found Meg's ear
and returned it.
309
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,164
They returned it!
You know how many guys
310
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,498
would keep something like that?
311
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,167
Peter, please close the box.
312
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:55,878
I think you need to get wise
to what's going on here,
313
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:59,839
because their next message
may not be so subtle.
314
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,175
♪ ♪
315
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,422
(screaming)
316
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,692
There it is.
317
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,495
I've been looking for that.
318
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,031
Oh, thank God,
the Mafia doesn't hate me.
319
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,102
"You's dead, fat ass.
320
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,903
Love, the Mafia."
321
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,372
(gasps) Oh, my God.
322
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,440
The Mafia does hate me.
(grunts)
323
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:35,947
MOBSTER 1:
Lenny, what are you doing?
324
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,343
I already threw the rock!
325
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,978
MOBSTER 2:
I wanted to throw the rock.
326
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,013
We talked about this‐‐
you wrote the note,
327
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,483
- I throw the rock.
- So let me get this straight‐‐
328
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,785
I do the homework
and you get to throw the rock?
329
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,988
- I played baseball in college!
- Junior college.
330
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,400
MOBSTER 2:
The coach from University of
Vermont invited me to walk on!
331
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,402
MOBSTER 1:
I didn't even know
you liked chucking rocks.
332
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,003
MOBSTER 2:
Who doesn't like chucking rocks?
333
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,672
I didn't get into the mob
to write letters.
334
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,532
I did it to chuck rocks
and eat sandwiches out of foil.
335
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,009
MOBSTER 1:
Hey, that actually sounds
pretty good.
336
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,735
You want to go get a sandwich?
337
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,113
MOBSTER 2:
Sure, from Big Sal's
or Fat Sal's?
338
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,139
MOBSTER 1:
What's the difference?
339
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,565
MOBSTER 2:
One's big, one's fat.
What's wrong with you today?
340
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,083
God, I can't believe Melania
was deported to Slovenia
341
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,419
and then hung herself
in a European prison.
342
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,923
Man, Peter, what are you
gonna do about the mob?
343
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,825
Don't worry, I got a plan.
344
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,527
I'm gonna hide
and change my identity
345
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,029
to a name no one else
has ever heard of.
346
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,731
Roberta Brown.
347
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,499
Peter, that's
my daughter's name.
348
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,835
No, it's just some girl
I follow on Instagram.
349
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,070
You know, Peter, there may be
a way out of this.
350
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,214
Cops have been trying
to bring down
351
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,073
the Rhode Island mob for years.
352
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,476
If you can schedule a meeting
to discuss your differences
353
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,846
and wear a wire,
we'll arrest them after.
354
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,614
Testify against the mob?
355
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,183
How dumb do you think I am?
356
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,018
(hacking)
357
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,787
‐(gasping) ‐Oh, my son!
358
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,423
I thought that hard‐boiled egg
seemed a little shouty.
359
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,891
All right, I'll do it.
360
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,127
But, man, if I'm in danger,
so is Chris.
361
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,463
I better warn him
to be on the lookout.
362
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,031
(cheering)
363
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:13,473
La dolce vita de duay que
questa di Beverly Hills BMW.
364
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:14,941
Ay!
365
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,376
Que cosa mi amor.
366
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,813
Italiana,
tu patri telefona Boyardee.
367
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:25,785
Grazie. Uno momento, Vinny
Testaverde con Carmine Ragusa.
368
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,921
Ciao, Francesco Di Napoli.
369
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,295
Tammy!
370
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,165
♪ ♪
371
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,467
Okay, Peter,
I'm gonna attach the wire now.
372
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,736
And I'm telling you in advance
that it's cold.
373
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,471
Aah! Oh, it's cold!
Oh, it's too cold.
374
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,640
- This is why I told you
in advance.
- It's too cold.
375
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,451
- I don't want
to do this anymore.
- Your body heat will warm it.
376
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:50,819
- I regret this decision deeply.
- Just let your body heat
377
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,854
- do the work.
- Oh, it's fine now.
378
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,980
See? That's the body heat.
379
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,482
Now, if you get into trouble,
department regulations say
380
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,851
we can't go in there
unless you say a code phrase.
381
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:01,120
Something that you'd never
actually say in conversation
382
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,788
so we know it's a signal.
383
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,724
The phrase is,
384
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,592
"Did you see
the new Paul Rudd movie?
385
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,227
It's laugh‐out‐loud funny."
386
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,795
Come on,
can't I just say "watchable"?
387
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,597
No, no,
you have to say it exactly.
388
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,945
"Heartwarming"? I‐I mean,
I could just say "heartwarming."
389
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,434
Peter, the phrase is the phrase.
390
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,470
Now, you ready to meet
those godfathers?
391
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,238
I guess.
392
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,440
Wonder where the word
"godfather" came from, anyway.
393
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:24,644
I don't know. I assume
it started with God's father.
394
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,779
(phone rings)
395
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,448
- Yello?
- Hey, Dad, I wrote a big show,
396
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,217
and your grandson Jesus
is in it.
397
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,295
He's kind of the star of it,
really. Can you make it?
398
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,454
(laughs): Well, look at you.
I'm there, pal.
399
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:37,123
When is it?
When's the big show?
400
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:39,592
- It's Good Friday.
- Oh, don't say Friday.
401
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,260
Ah, I was afraid of that.
402
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,071
Well, there's kind of
a postscript to the story.
403
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,331
- Maybe you could catch that?
- Oh, you betcha, slugger.
404
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,133
- It's on Sunday.
- Oh, you're kidding!
405
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,936
Doesn't anyone do anything
on Tuesdays anymore?
406
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,338
Listen, I'm getting pulled
into this meeting right now,
407
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,839
but good luck with your thing.
408
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,978
I promise I'm going to be
so nice to my son.
409
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,013
♪ ♪
410
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,285
JOE:
Okay, Peter, this is it.
411
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:09,055
Hey, who are you?
412
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:11,057
Just act natural.
And even though you're miked,
413
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,059
try not to use your radio voice.
414
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:14,469
(Rick Dees' voice):
Hey, Providence.
415
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,729
This is Peter Whirlybird Griffin
416
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,365
comin' at you
on a sizzlin' Sunday afternoon.
417
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,200
- Peter, no!
- Wait a minute.
418
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,135
You're the new don from Quahog.
419
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:25,004
Follow me.
420
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:30,109
We're glad that you finally
decided to play ball with us.
421
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,745
Let me introduce you
to the other dons.
422
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,414
Don Duck. Don Keykong.
423
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:38,150
- Don Amnesia.
- Forget about it.
424
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:40,486
- Don Omatopoeia.
- Bang.
425
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,422
- The Land Don Under.
- You come to me today,
426
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,424
on the day
of me daughter's barbecue.
427
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,159
Don Imus.
428
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,996
The Rutgers basketball team
is Black and disgusting.
429
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,098
That's a wrap for Don Imus.
430
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,667
Finally,
the scariest don of them all:
431
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,136
- Don De‐Don‐Don.
- Thank you.
432
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,705
I'd like to introduce you all
to my suspenseful son,
433
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,742
Don Don‐Don...!
434
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,680
And‐and the guy says, "Oh,
I thought you were complaining
435
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,682
about your angina."
436
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,219
- You never told us
a beginning to that joke.
- Oh. Sorry.
437
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,054
JOE:
Okay, Peter,
the meeting's almost over.
438
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,156
Just don't blow your cover,
and we're home free.
439
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,492
Hey, anybody want to do karaoke
after this?
440
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,861
Sure. I can use
the mic taped to my chest.
441
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,263
Peter, no!
442
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,233
Uh, the new Paul Rudd movie
is watchable.
443
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,301
I repeat, it's very watchable.
444
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,804
Damn it, Peter!
You have to say it exactly.
445
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,607
Fine. It's laugh‐out‐loud funny.
446
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,077
Freeze! You're all under arrest.
447
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:39,645
Good job, Peter.
448
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,682
♪ ♪
449
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,451
Freeze!
450
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,187
All right,
nobody do anything stupid.
451
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,156
H‐Hold on,
I'm just allowing LinkedIn
452
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:52,758
to send automated e‐mails
to all my contacts.
453
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,960
I said don't do anything stupid.
454
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,763
- (phone chimes)
- "Peter Griffin wants to add you
455
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,532
to his professional network."
456
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:01,434
Oh! Damn it, Peter!
457
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,370
Hands behind your head.
On the ground.
458
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:06,806
Aw, we're gonna die.
459
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,341
All right. So long, you two.
460
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,243
♪ ♪
461
00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:15,781
(gunshot)
462
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,658
Oh, my God. Thank you.
463
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,760
Prego.
464
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,865
Well, turns out
being a mobster isn't for me.
465
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,867
Well, I'm just happy
you're home safe.
466
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,335
Me, too, Dad.
467
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,537
Has anyone seen
the rest of my white wine?
468
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,473
Sorry, Lois. I drank that.
469
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:44,043
Oh. That's fine, Brian.
470
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:48,114
Hey, what do you say you and me
go for a walk in the woods?
471
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,517
You know what?
This is kind of nice.
472
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,120
I thought you were gonna do some
kind of Godfather murder on me.
473
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:57,022
Oh, Brian,
I don't watch Mafia movies.
474
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,558
- But I did see Fargo.
- Huh?