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00:00:01,194 --> 00:00:04,384
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,409 --> 00:00:07,723
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:07,815 --> 00:00:10,884
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:10,935 --> 00:00:13,854
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:29,636 --> 00:00:33,136
♪ Family Guy 10x03 ♪
Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q
Original Air Date on October 30, 2011
11
00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:36,637
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
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Good morning!
13
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Is what
normal families say.
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Lois, I'll take
my breakfast to go.
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00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:44,547
I'm going fishing
with the fellas.
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00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:46,249
Peter, I thought we
were going to have
17
00:00:46,316 --> 00:00:47,550
some family time
this weekend.
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00:00:47,618 --> 00:00:48,851
You're going
fishing again?
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00:00:48,919 --> 00:00:50,286
Yes, Lois. I love fishing.
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00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,221
Remember, fishing was
my not-at-all-memorable job
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for two years?
- No.
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00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,474
You don't remember
my fishing boat?
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00:00:55,559 --> 00:00:57,009
You don't remember
Santos and Pasqual?
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00:00:57,077 --> 00:00:58,260
Not even a little.
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00:00:58,312 --> 00:00:59,579
They were like
male Consuelas.
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00:00:59,646 --> 00:01:01,764
It was a mistake making 'em
Portuguese, though.
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00:01:01,815 --> 00:01:03,649
People don't even know
what a Portuguese is.
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That's what I thought
a Portuguese was.
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Me and my brain, huh?
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And we're just
getting started!
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00:01:15,329 --> 00:01:18,164
Boy, it's not like Quagmire
to be this late.
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00:01:18,248 --> 00:01:21,000
Yeah.
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00:01:21,084 --> 00:01:22,451
Jeez, I've never tried
34
00:01:22,502 --> 00:01:24,170
to make conversation
with just Joe before.
35
00:01:24,254 --> 00:01:25,838
This is brutal.
36
00:01:25,906 --> 00:01:27,707
Come on, Joe,
you're losing him.
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Think of something.
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This was your shot.
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00:01:30,527 --> 00:01:33,312
Two thirds
of the planet is water.
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Yeah.
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00:01:34,982 --> 00:01:37,283
Two thirds
of the planet is water?
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This guy's okay.
43
00:01:39,469 --> 00:01:40,987
All right, well, um,
44
00:01:41,054 --> 00:01:43,322
we should probably go find out
what's keeping Quagmire.
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00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:44,574
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
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00:01:44,641 --> 00:01:46,459
And you know, Joe,
uh, I was thinking.
47
00:01:46,526 --> 00:01:48,995
Maybe one night we get
dinner, just the two of us.
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I would like that.
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00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:54,750
Hey, Quagmire?
50
00:01:54,818 --> 00:01:56,752
You in there?
51
00:01:58,322 --> 00:01:59,989
Holy crap!
52
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,374
Oh, my God!
53
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:04,043
He must have autoerotically
asphyxiated himself!
54
00:02:04,111 --> 00:02:06,345
Yeah, while he was
watching clown porn.
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00:02:06,413 --> 00:02:08,080
Oh, yeah, baby.
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00:02:08,148 --> 00:02:10,683
Oh yeah, baby!
You make me so horny!
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Come on, help me get him down!
58
00:02:18,325 --> 00:02:19,659
Peter, he's still alive!
59
00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:21,727
We got to get him
to a hospital!
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00:02:21,795 --> 00:02:24,063
All right, but let's just watch
the end of this clown porn first.
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00:02:31,538 --> 00:02:34,023
Oh, Peter, we came
as soon as we heard.
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00:02:34,091 --> 00:02:35,224
How is he?
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00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:36,759
He's in a coma, Lois.
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00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:38,995
My God, what the hell happened?
65
00:02:39,046 --> 00:02:41,981
He hung himself during
autoerotic asphyxiation.
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00:02:42,049 --> 00:02:44,116
Just goes to show anything
can be dangerous.
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00:02:44,184 --> 00:02:45,818
Is his family here?
68
00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:48,137
His sister Brenda is coming
with her boyfriend, Jeff.
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00:02:48,205 --> 00:02:49,789
Oh, my God, not that guy.
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00:02:49,856 --> 00:02:51,374
Is she still with him?
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00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:53,042
Isn't he the one
that beats her?
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00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:54,543
Yeah, but she's
gotten a lot better.
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00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:59,048
All right, on the way back,
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00:02:59,116 --> 00:03:01,817
I get to pick the radio station,
because that was awful.
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00:03:01,885 --> 00:03:04,353
I know, yeah, it
was, I'm sorry.
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00:03:04,421 --> 00:03:06,288
Oh, God, I just...
I hope Glenn's okay.
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00:03:06,356 --> 00:03:07,523
I'm so worried about him.
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00:03:07,591 --> 00:03:08,958
Shut up and limp!
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00:03:09,026 --> 00:03:10,559
We're in a handicapped spot,
you slut!
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00:03:13,714 --> 00:03:15,247
Well, Miss Quagmire,
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00:03:15,315 --> 00:03:16,849
your brother Glenn
is lucky to be alive.
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00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:20,920
You know, we're all lucky to be
alive on such a beautiful day.
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00:03:20,987 --> 00:03:23,856
In fact, nurse--
all surgeries are outside today.
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00:03:23,924 --> 00:03:25,841
You know, when we were kids,
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00:03:25,909 --> 00:03:28,327
our mother used to sing
a song when we were sad.
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00:03:28,395 --> 00:03:29,945
Maybe that'll help now.
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00:03:30,013 --> 00:03:32,248
Come on, Brenda,
a stupid nursery rhyme
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isn't going to wake him up,
especially the way you sing.
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Right, man?
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00:03:36,002 --> 00:03:37,503
Gyaaaa.
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00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:41,891
♪ Glenn, don't die from
autoerotic asphyxiation ♪
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00:03:41,942 --> 00:03:45,027
♪ Your friends want to
go fishing with you... ♪
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00:03:45,095 --> 00:03:46,595
This song is from childhood?
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00:03:46,646 --> 00:03:52,651
♪ Live to see tomorrow,
October 31, 2011. ♪
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Where am I?
96
00:03:57,407 --> 00:03:58,374
What happened?
97
00:03:58,442 --> 00:03:59,742
Oh, Glenn!
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00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:01,544
Oh, thank God
you're all right!
99
00:04:01,611 --> 00:04:03,095
Hey, you touching
my girl?!
100
00:04:03,163 --> 00:04:04,230
Relax, Jeff.
That's her brother.
101
00:04:04,297 --> 00:04:05,598
Yeah, that's how it starts.
102
00:04:05,665 --> 00:04:07,767
Come on, Brenda, we
got to get out of here.
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00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:08,918
I need cigarettes
and jeans.
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00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:16,092
Oh, thanks, you guys, for all
your help through this.
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00:04:16,159 --> 00:04:18,761
Oh, Glenn, we're just
so glad you're all right.
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00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:20,396
And Jeff and I are happy
to stay here with you
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00:04:20,463 --> 00:04:22,064
for as long as you need.
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00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:24,183
Fine, then you call
my cousin Terry
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00:04:24,251 --> 00:04:26,602
and tell him we're not going
to be at his karate recital!
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00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:28,471
Well, Jeff,
he is my brother.
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00:04:28,538 --> 00:04:31,140
Why do you always got to remind
me I didn't finish high school?
112
00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:34,777
Well, listen, how about I make
us all some dinner, huh?
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Come here!
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00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,665
You fat, ugly bitch!
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00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:41,300
If today
wasn't your birthday...
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00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,968
Jeff! Please,
you're being...
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00:04:43,036 --> 00:04:44,470
What?!
What am I being?!
118
00:04:44,538 --> 00:04:45,905
Crazy?!
Unemployed?!
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00:04:45,972 --> 00:04:48,274
Why don't you call the cops
like you did on Christmas?!
120
00:04:48,341 --> 00:04:50,409
I-I-I didn't call them!
They were called!
121
00:04:50,477 --> 00:04:53,345
Oh, now you're calling me a liar
in front of this cat?!
122
00:04:53,413 --> 00:04:54,580
I got another cat.
123
00:05:00,276 --> 00:05:02,945
Aw, that yellow lab
looks like it's dying.
124
00:05:02,978 --> 00:05:04,212
Peter,
that's Gwyneth Paltrow.
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00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,380
She's fine.
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00:05:05,447 --> 00:05:07,065
Look, turn off the light.
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00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:09,834
I just want to get to sleep and
put this ugly night behind us.
128
00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:12,270
All that unpleasantness
with Brenda and Jeff
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00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:13,571
was more than I can handle.
130
00:05:13,639 --> 00:05:15,073
It's no big deal, Lois.
131
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,530
We probably just caught
'em on an off night.
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00:05:16,531 --> 00:05:17,991
Where do you get
off calling me a deadbeat
133
00:05:18,016 --> 00:05:19,216
in front of your brother?!
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00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:22,197
No, Jeff, a-a-all I said was
that you were in between jobs!
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00:05:22,264 --> 00:05:24,098
Well, it wouldn't matter
136
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,700
if you'd just pick up that
night shift at the prison!
137
00:05:25,768 --> 00:05:28,236
But then I'll be working
a hundred hours a week.
138
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:29,454
So what?!
139
00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,956
I need money for motor oil
and wallet chains!
140
00:05:32,007 --> 00:05:34,259
Okay, I'll ask about it Monday.
141
00:05:34,326 --> 00:05:35,826
Can I put my nightgown
back on?
142
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:38,246
No, I'm not done drawing!
143
00:05:45,154 --> 00:05:47,222
Hey, Peter.
144
00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:49,023
Geez, Quagmire,
you look terrible.
145
00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:51,609
Oh, I didn't get any sleep.
146
00:05:51,677 --> 00:05:52,877
Hi, Glenn.
How are you?
147
00:05:52,945 --> 00:05:54,312
Not great, Lois.
148
00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:56,731
I'm stuck in the middle of some
bad stuff with my sister.
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00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,150
I know, it sounded like there
was quite a ruckus going on
150
00:05:59,218 --> 00:06:00,852
over there last night.
151
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,604
That Jeff seems like
kind of a monster.
152
00:06:02,671 --> 00:06:04,939
Yeah, that guy's scary
as an Iraq Lobster.
153
00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:11,796
♪ Death to America ♪
154
00:06:13,299 --> 00:06:14,532
♪ And butter sauce ♪
155
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:16,901
♪ Don't boil me ♪
156
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,505
♪ I'm still alive ♪
157
00:06:20,573 --> 00:06:21,806
♪ Iraq Lobster ♪
158
00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:27,745
♪ Iraq Lobster. ♪
159
00:06:31,617 --> 00:06:33,952
I've tried talking to Brenda
about leaving him,
160
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,620
but I haven't
gotten anywhere.
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00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:37,755
I was actually hoping
you could talk to her, Lois.
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00:06:37,823 --> 00:06:40,491
She might open up more to you,
you know, 'cause you're a woman.
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00:06:40,559 --> 00:06:43,094
- Me?
- Yeah, would you mind at least trying?
164
00:06:43,162 --> 00:06:45,563
Well, I guess she does
need someone to talk to.
165
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:47,081
Well, let's hope
she's good at talking
166
00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:48,933
'cause we know she doesn't
listen so good.
167
00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:50,435
That... we know.
168
00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,473
You know, Brenda, I'm glad
we could get together.
169
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:56,774
Me, too, Lois.
170
00:06:56,842 --> 00:06:58,643
It's nice to have a
girlfriend to chat with.
171
00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,111
Don't you have any
back home?
172
00:07:00,179 --> 00:07:02,146
Oh, no. Jeff would
never allow that.
173
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,598
You know, that's kind of what
174
00:07:03,666 --> 00:07:05,466
I want to talk to you about,
Brenda.
175
00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:07,068
Do you mind
taking off your sunglasses?
176
00:07:09,822 --> 00:07:11,255
Oh, my God.
177
00:07:11,323 --> 00:07:13,124
No, i-it's really
not that bad.
178
00:07:13,192 --> 00:07:14,726
It only hurts when I see.
179
00:07:14,793 --> 00:07:16,394
You know, you don't have
to stay with a man
180
00:07:16,462 --> 00:07:17,862
who treats you that way.
181
00:07:17,929 --> 00:07:19,881
Oh, Jeff's sweet.
182
00:07:19,948 --> 00:07:22,717
You don't see how soft and gentle
he hits me when we're alone.
183
00:07:22,785 --> 00:07:24,152
Do you hear yourself?
184
00:07:24,219 --> 00:07:25,887
He shouldn't be
hitting you at all.
185
00:07:25,954 --> 00:07:28,356
I don't think you understand
how serious a matter...
186
00:07:28,424 --> 00:07:29,874
Close your menu.
What?
187
00:07:29,942 --> 00:07:31,959
Close your menu, so they
know we're ready to order.
188
00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:33,211
I'll give you
another moment.
189
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,495
Damn it.
190
00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:37,248
I'm sorry.
Oh, shoot.
191
00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:39,250
See, this is why Jeff
corrects me all the time.
192
00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:40,735
Corrects you?
193
00:07:40,803 --> 00:07:43,071
Brenda, he's not correcting you,
he's beating you!
194
00:07:43,138 --> 00:07:45,673
Well, I-I-I can see
why you'd think that
195
00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:47,408
'cause of the punches and all,
196
00:07:47,476 --> 00:07:50,044
but it's just that Jeff's been
so angry about immigrants.
197
00:07:50,112 --> 00:07:51,379
What?!
198
00:07:51,447 --> 00:07:53,481
It'll be better when
he gets back to work.
199
00:07:53,549 --> 00:07:55,500
Our relationship is just
complicated, that's all.
200
00:07:55,567 --> 00:07:57,935
No, Brenda,
it's not complicated.
201
00:07:58,003 --> 00:07:59,404
Trying to get
a straight answer
202
00:07:59,471 --> 00:08:01,639
out of a 23-year-old
girl is complicated.
203
00:08:01,707 --> 00:08:03,524
So, do you want
to go out some time?
204
00:08:03,592 --> 00:08:05,960
Out like, go out or hang out
or just do something?
205
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,261
Like a date.
206
00:08:07,329 --> 00:08:08,696
Like a date date?
Or like a date?
207
00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:10,415
Both, I... I guess.
208
00:08:10,482 --> 00:08:12,333
Yeah, sure, maybe.
I don't know. Yes, no.
209
00:08:12,418 --> 00:08:14,118
Here's the first three
digits of my phone number.
210
00:08:14,186 --> 00:08:15,687
E-mail me.
211
00:08:18,857 --> 00:08:20,124
Joe, the guy's a menace.
212
00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,009
They've been with me
three days now,
213
00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:24,312
and all he does is beat her
day and night.
214
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,963
And on top of that,
they say they don't need
215
00:08:26,014 --> 00:08:27,515
to be entertained,
but then they're always like,
216
00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:28,966
"Hey, so what're we doing?
What's next?"
217
00:08:29,017 --> 00:08:30,968
Hey, Joe, can't you...
can't you just arrest the guy?
218
00:08:31,019 --> 00:08:32,620
I can't arrest Jeff
219
00:08:32,688 --> 00:08:35,189
unless Brenda files a formal
complaint with the police.
220
00:08:35,257 --> 00:08:36,491
She won't go to the police.
221
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,659
She's afraid
of what Jeff will do.
222
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,027
And to be honest,
I don't blame her.
223
00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:41,879
I mean, w-w-what happens
if one of these nights,
224
00:08:41,947 --> 00:08:43,214
he hits her so hard
he kills her?
225
00:08:43,282 --> 00:08:44,682
Sorry, Quagmire.
226
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:47,919
Police policy, we can't step
in until it's too late.
227
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,054
But if I were you, I'd
set up an intervention.
228
00:08:50,122 --> 00:08:51,289
What's that?
229
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,091
It's like a surprise
birthday party,
230
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,993
but instead of cake and
presents, there's angry letters
231
00:08:56,061 --> 00:08:57,295
and someone who
inappropriately tries
232
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:58,629
to make it about themselves.
233
00:08:58,697 --> 00:09:00,198
Aw, that sounds great!
234
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:01,999
I bet I would really shine
at one of those.
235
00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:06,971
All right, well, first
we want to thank you all
236
00:09:07,039 --> 00:09:08,639
for being here for Brenda.
237
00:09:08,707 --> 00:09:10,508
Now, I know it's going
to be a long day,
238
00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:13,795
but we're all here because we
care about her very much.
239
00:09:13,862 --> 00:09:15,296
What the... what's going on?
240
00:09:15,364 --> 00:09:16,547
What's all this?
241
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,483
Brenda, this is
an intervention.
242
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:20,852
A lot of us don't like how
Jeff's been treating you.
243
00:09:20,919 --> 00:09:22,653
So we're going
to say a few things,
244
00:09:22,721 --> 00:09:25,089
and then you'll say a few
things, and then we'll be done.
245
00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:26,257
Sound good?
246
00:09:26,325 --> 00:09:27,725
Um...
I guess.
247
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:30,495
All right, so we're going to go
around the room and tell you
248
00:09:30,562 --> 00:09:32,680
exactly how your situation
has affected each of us.
249
00:09:32,748 --> 00:09:34,182
Meg?
250
00:09:34,249 --> 00:09:37,618
I feel like if he likes you,
maybe you can change him.
251
00:09:37,686 --> 00:09:39,120
Okay, maybe she wasn't
the one to start with.
252
00:09:39,188 --> 00:09:40,271
Caleb?
253
00:09:43,108 --> 00:09:45,443
Caleb, you want
to go ahead?
254
00:09:45,511 --> 00:09:47,094
M... M... me?
255
00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:48,162
Yeah, go ahead.
256
00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:50,481
Uh... It's Chris.
257
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,116
Y-You don't know my name?
258
00:09:52,184 --> 00:09:53,951
All right, this isn't off
to a flying start.
259
00:09:54,019 --> 00:09:55,553
Peter, why don't you go ahead?
260
00:09:55,621 --> 00:09:57,722
So, you like
getting beaten, huh?
261
00:09:57,790 --> 00:09:59,991
Well, why don't you smoke a
whole carton of cigarettes!
262
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,809
Look, I know what you guys
are trying to do,
263
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,361
but Jeff and I are fine.
264
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,897
No, Brenda,
you're not fine, okay?
265
00:10:05,964 --> 00:10:08,282
Please, I'd like to say
something, if I may.
266
00:10:09,718 --> 00:10:13,604
"Brenda, the fact that
you are being abused
267
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,324
"has affected my life
in the following ways:
268
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:19,109
"The sister that I knew
and loved growing up
269
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,629
"no longer exists.
270
00:10:21,713 --> 00:10:25,249
"The person I see before me now
is just a punching bag.
271
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:28,386
"And I call you 'person'
and not 'woman'
272
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:31,472
"because a woman is a strong,
beautiful, vibrant creature.
273
00:10:31,557 --> 00:10:33,925
"A woman embraces life.
274
00:10:33,976 --> 00:10:36,661
"A woman makes choices
to make her life better.
275
00:10:36,728 --> 00:10:40,965
"Sadly, the fact that you are
with Jeff, proves to me
276
00:10:41,033 --> 00:10:45,469
that you have made a choice
to make your life worse."
277
00:10:45,537 --> 00:10:48,105
I-I want the girl
I grew up with back.
278
00:10:48,173 --> 00:10:52,527
I want... I want my sister back.
279
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,830
Brenda, I love you.
280
00:10:55,914 --> 00:10:57,932
Please make the right decision.
281
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,867
Which is a perfect time
for me to tell my jokes.
282
00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,151
Peter!
283
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,587
And I will save
them for the end.
284
00:11:06,158 --> 00:11:08,860
Glenn, I am so lucky
285
00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:12,630
to have such a wonderful,
loving brother like you.
286
00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:19,971
So, are you gonna
leave him?
287
00:11:20,022 --> 00:11:22,139
Oh, there you are!
288
00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:24,692
Hey, give me some money!
I saw a cool bandana.
289
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,460
What the hell's going on here?!
290
00:11:26,528 --> 00:11:28,696
Listen here, you bully!
For your information,
291
00:11:28,764 --> 00:11:30,064
Brenda just agreed
to leave you!
292
00:11:30,132 --> 00:11:31,682
Like hell she did.
293
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:32,717
Brenda, you tell 'em?
294
00:11:32,784 --> 00:11:34,218
No, not yet.
295
00:11:34,286 --> 00:11:36,954
Everyone...
I have wonderful news.
296
00:11:37,022 --> 00:11:39,423
Jeff and I are getting married.
297
00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:41,909
I'd show you the ring,
298
00:11:41,977 --> 00:11:43,527
but it's under the splint.
299
00:11:43,595 --> 00:11:45,296
My finger fell down the stairs.
300
00:11:45,364 --> 00:11:46,864
You're getting married?!
301
00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:48,749
Yeah, but only 'cause
she's pregnant.
302
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:49,934
Pregnant?!
303
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,353
Oh, congratulations!
304
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,038
Have you thought
of any names yet?
305
00:11:54,106 --> 00:11:55,840
Maybe... maybe
"Slappy"?
306
00:11:55,908 --> 00:11:57,341
Or-or "Bruisey"?
307
00:11:57,409 --> 00:11:59,076
Or "Keep-It-Down-
In-There-sy"?
308
00:12:04,753 --> 00:12:06,654
Guys, what the hell
am I gonna do?
309
00:12:06,698 --> 00:12:07,832
She can't marry
that bastard.
310
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,300
He's just gonna
keep beatin' her,
311
00:12:09,368 --> 00:12:11,235
and then he's gonna beat
the kid, too!
312
00:12:11,303 --> 00:12:13,738
God, I wish she'd never met
Jeffrey Fecalman.
313
00:12:13,805 --> 00:12:15,573
You know, I was
thinking... Wait, what?
314
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,174
What?
That's his name?
315
00:12:17,242 --> 00:12:19,076
Yeah.
Huh-larious.
316
00:12:19,144 --> 00:12:20,811
But you know,
I was thinking this afternoon,
317
00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:23,147
what the hell happened to the
days when a guy does something
318
00:12:23,215 --> 00:12:26,500
like that to a girl, and a bunch
of us guys get together
319
00:12:26,568 --> 00:12:28,969
and just go kick
his (bleep) ass?
320
00:12:29,037 --> 00:12:30,938
Boy, that'd be
satisfying.
321
00:12:31,006 --> 00:12:33,040
Well... why not?
322
00:12:33,108 --> 00:12:34,208
What do you mean?
323
00:12:34,276 --> 00:12:35,543
The three of us.
324
00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:37,478
We go over there
and we do what's right;
325
00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:38,579
we kill the bastard.
326
00:12:38,647 --> 00:12:40,147
Whoa, whoa, Quagmire.
327
00:12:40,215 --> 00:12:42,516
You know, I could arrest
you just for saying that.
328
00:12:42,584 --> 00:12:43,884
You know what else
you can get arrested for?
329
00:12:43,952 --> 00:12:45,186
Soliciting a rooster.
330
00:12:45,253 --> 00:12:48,322
I don't know what this
cock-a-doodle-doo thing is,
331
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:50,591
but it sounds gay
and it sounds scatological.
332
00:12:50,659 --> 00:12:52,226
I'm in.
333
00:12:52,294 --> 00:12:54,495
You're about to
have a neat day.
334
00:12:54,563 --> 00:12:56,597
Quagmire, you're talking
about murdering a guy.
335
00:12:56,665 --> 00:12:57,865
It doesn't matter
336
00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:59,867
what he's done,
it's still murder.
337
00:12:59,935 --> 00:13:01,669
No, Joe, it does matter
what he's done!
338
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,704
These kinds of guys
don't change.
339
00:13:03,772 --> 00:13:06,173
Y-you think they ever suddenly
wake up and realize
340
00:13:06,241 --> 00:13:08,876
the error of their ways
and clean up their act? No!
341
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,394
They just keep ruining
everyone's lives,
342
00:13:10,462 --> 00:13:12,313
and the world is better off
without 'em.
343
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:13,781
It's against the
law, Quagmire,
344
00:13:13,849 --> 00:13:14,949
and that's the
end of it.
345
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,587
What the hell?!
Did you change the channel
346
00:13:19,654 --> 00:13:21,155
while I was going
to get a beer?!
347
00:13:21,223 --> 00:13:23,224
Oh, yeah, I-I'm sorry,
honey, I just wanted
348
00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,475
to see who was
on Letterman.
349
00:13:24,543 --> 00:13:26,077
We're watching Leno,
you bitch!
350
00:13:26,144 --> 00:13:27,328
I'm so sorry!
351
00:13:27,395 --> 00:13:29,630
His soft, gentle humor
connects effortlessly
352
00:13:29,698 --> 00:13:31,982
with my mainstream
sensibilities!
353
00:13:34,219 --> 00:13:35,986
Let's waste this dick.
354
00:13:37,589 --> 00:13:39,790
Boy, everything's different now
than it used to be, isn't it?
355
00:13:39,858 --> 00:13:42,393
You know, this morning I had
a bowl of Fruity Pebbles cereal.
356
00:13:42,461 --> 00:13:44,428
Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid,
they were boulders!
357
00:13:48,967 --> 00:13:51,118
Cereals do change.
358
00:13:51,186 --> 00:13:52,470
Oh, no, no. Here's something,
here's something.
359
00:13:52,537 --> 00:13:53,654
Did you hear about this?
360
00:13:53,722 --> 00:13:55,239
Here's a bunch
of words in a row:
361
00:13:55,307 --> 00:13:56,874
because the economy's so bad,
362
00:13:56,942 --> 00:13:58,559
they've decided they're gonna
shut down all the prisons.
363
00:13:58,627 --> 00:14:00,161
Yeah, yeah.
364
00:14:00,228 --> 00:14:03,030
And-and they're gonna send
all the inmates to Congress.
365
00:14:03,098 --> 00:14:05,249
I don't get that one!
366
00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:10,754
Hi, there, Jeff.
367
00:14:10,822 --> 00:14:12,356
Hey, what's going
on, dudes?
368
00:14:12,407 --> 00:14:13,824
Brenda just fell.
369
00:14:13,892 --> 00:14:16,894
Get your lazy ass up and get
my neighbors some beers!
370
00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:18,696
Actually, we don't
have time, Jeff.
371
00:14:18,763 --> 00:14:20,531
We were just about
to go on
372
00:14:20,599 --> 00:14:22,266
our annual midnight
hunting trip.
373
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:24,135
We thought you might
want to join us.
374
00:14:24,202 --> 00:14:25,469
Yeah, what the hell.
375
00:14:25,537 --> 00:14:28,172
Go shoot some animals,
that sounds like fun.
376
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,574
Hey, it beats sitting at home
watching Meg pop her zits.
377
00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:44,171
Okay, okay,
who would you rather do?
378
00:14:44,239 --> 00:14:46,607
Dame Judi Dench with 30 minutes
of kissing first
379
00:14:46,675 --> 00:14:50,411
or Eddie Izzard in drag,
but he has a working vagina?
380
00:14:50,478 --> 00:14:52,413
Would Eddie Izzard tell
others about it?
381
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,165
Eddie Izzard is very discreet.
382
00:14:54,232 --> 00:14:55,399
Then that's your answer.
383
00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:57,484
You know, Quagmire,
I gotta say,
384
00:14:57,552 --> 00:14:59,570
I was pretty surprised
you wanted me to come along.
385
00:14:59,638 --> 00:15:01,505
I thought
you hated my guts.
386
00:15:01,573 --> 00:15:02,890
Oh, come on, Jeff,
387
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:04,491
I don't hate your
guts.
388
00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:05,926
Well, then what the hell
are we doing out here?
389
00:15:06,011 --> 00:15:07,611
I thought we were gonna kill...
Ah!
390
00:15:07,679 --> 00:15:10,548
So, Jeff, do you
like loud sentences?!
391
00:15:10,615 --> 00:15:11,532
I guess.
392
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,767
I gotta take a whiz.
393
00:15:13,835 --> 00:15:15,452
All right, look,
when he comes back,
394
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,137
I'm just gonna
do it, okay?
395
00:15:17,205 --> 00:15:19,156
I'm just gonna point my gun
straight at his head
396
00:15:19,224 --> 00:15:20,524
before he even knows
what's going on.
397
00:15:21,593 --> 00:15:23,194
Kinda like this?
398
00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,713
You know, Quagmire,
you are pathetic.
399
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:27,848
You have to bring
your friends out here with you
400
00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:29,316
to do your dirty work?
401
00:15:29,384 --> 00:15:31,685
What... what do you mean, Jeff?
402
00:15:31,753 --> 00:15:33,387
You're gonna kill me,
is that it?
403
00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:37,391
Uh-uh!
404
00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:38,626
Not unless you want
405
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:40,527
your friend's brains
all over the place!
406
00:15:40,612 --> 00:15:42,897
Listen, Jeff,
just put the gun down
407
00:15:42,964 --> 00:15:44,798
and we'll forget this whole
thing, okay?
408
00:15:47,185 --> 00:15:50,888
Oh. Well, that's never
happened before.
409
00:15:50,956 --> 00:15:53,224
Kinda don't know
what to do next.
410
00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:55,025
So now you'll forget
the whole thing?
411
00:15:55,093 --> 00:15:57,194
Yeah, I, uh, guess
that is what I said.
412
00:15:57,262 --> 00:15:58,846
No, no, we can't forget
the whole thing!
413
00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:00,180
Yeah, you know,
he's right.
414
00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:01,265
We can't forget it.
415
00:16:01,332 --> 00:16:03,183
Fine. Now here's
the plan:
416
00:16:03,268 --> 00:16:05,686
I'm taking Quagmire
for a little ride,
417
00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:08,906
and you guys are gonna stay out
here and freeze to death!
418
00:16:08,974 --> 00:16:10,975
Now, get those hands
where I can see 'em!
419
00:16:11,042 --> 00:16:13,394
All the way up!
420
00:16:13,478 --> 00:16:15,863
Oh, my shirt's a
little too short.
421
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,097
That's okay.
You can keep 'em
422
00:16:17,165 --> 00:16:19,583
the way you had 'em
so it covers your stomach.
423
00:16:19,651 --> 00:16:22,119
Thank you. You know, if
this Jeff was around more,
424
00:16:22,187 --> 00:16:23,704
we wouldn't have
tried to kill you.
425
00:16:23,772 --> 00:16:24,822
See you later,
schmucks!
426
00:16:38,086 --> 00:16:39,870
All right,
this is far enough.
427
00:16:49,898 --> 00:16:52,616
Well, Quagmire, sorry
it had to end this way;
428
00:16:52,684 --> 00:16:54,818
a tragic hunting accident.
429
00:16:54,886 --> 00:16:57,621
I guess that little baby's gonna
grow up without an uncle.
430
00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:59,056
Actually,
I have a brother.
431
00:16:59,124 --> 00:17:00,758
Gary Quagmire.
Oh.
432
00:17:00,825 --> 00:17:03,277
I think... I think you got
a brother, too, don't you?
433
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,545
All right, forget
the uncle thing!
434
00:17:04,612 --> 00:17:07,181
Get ready to die,
Quagmire.
435
00:17:07,248 --> 00:17:08,916
You know, if you had any balls,
436
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,235
you'd put that gun down and we
could settle this like men.
437
00:17:12,871 --> 00:17:15,956
That's awful big talk for a
scrawny bastard like you.
438
00:17:16,024 --> 00:17:17,324
Hey, I'm serious, man.
439
00:17:17,392 --> 00:17:19,126
Unless you're scared
I can take you.
440
00:17:19,194 --> 00:17:21,345
Suit yourself, man.
441
00:17:21,413 --> 00:17:23,931
Just means
you're gonna die slower.
442
00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:41,625
What the hell?!
I killed you!
443
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,763
I choke myself every day,
you bastard!
444
00:19:19,164 --> 00:19:21,014
Oh, oh, Glenn,
there you are.
445
00:19:21,082 --> 00:19:24,218
Jeff didn't come home last night
and he hasn't called.
446
00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:25,986
Uh, well, actually,
about that, Brenda,
447
00:19:26,054 --> 00:19:28,021
he must've left
early this morning.
448
00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:30,541
Yeah, we found this
note he left you.
449
00:19:30,608 --> 00:19:33,811
"Dear Brenda,
I have decided to leave you.
450
00:19:33,878 --> 00:19:35,979
"I realized
that you are too good for me,
451
00:19:36,047 --> 00:19:38,248
"and you and our unborn child
would be better off
452
00:19:38,316 --> 00:19:40,717
"without me in the picture.
Love, Jeff.
453
00:19:40,785 --> 00:19:43,187
"P.S. If the cops ask, tell them
454
00:19:43,254 --> 00:19:45,956
"that Joe, Peter and Quagmire
were with you last night.
455
00:19:46,024 --> 00:19:47,591
"If you tell anyone otherwise,
456
00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:50,928
"I will come back and not only
hit you, but I will murder you.
457
00:19:50,995 --> 00:19:53,063
"And no one will care
because you're garbage.
458
00:19:53,131 --> 00:19:55,833
And your baby is going
to be a child of garbage."
459
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,067
It's a little rough, Peter.
460
00:19:57,135 --> 00:19:58,569
I didn't write it. Joe did.
461
00:19:58,636 --> 00:20:00,003
I wanted it
to sound real.
462
00:20:00,071 --> 00:20:01,672
It's gotta sound
like he wrote it.
463
00:20:01,739 --> 00:20:03,774
Plus, she kinda is
garbage, Quagmire.
464
00:20:03,842 --> 00:20:06,276
"Well, I best be
rolling on now."
465
00:20:06,344 --> 00:20:08,312
Oh, come on!
Who says that?!
466
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:09,480
It's an expression.
467
00:20:09,547 --> 00:20:10,481
Yeah, if you're in
a wheelchair.
468
00:20:10,548 --> 00:20:11,515
Listen, you had
your chance.
469
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,016
I e-mailed it
to both of you.
470
00:20:13,084 --> 00:20:14,318
"Looks fine."
471
00:20:14,385 --> 00:20:16,203
And you just added that
part about Grape Ape.
472
00:20:16,271 --> 00:20:19,072
"P.P.S. I really love Grape Ape.
473
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:20,107
The end."
474
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,209
Wow.
475
00:20:22,277 --> 00:20:24,611
I guess he's really gone.
476
00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:28,679
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
477
00:20:32,086 --> 00:20:33,787
I kinda want to kill
somebody else now.
478
00:20:33,855 --> 00:20:34,888
Ooh, Mort!