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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:03,985 --> 00:00:07,304
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:07,372 --> 00:00:10,758
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely?
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us
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♪ Laugh and cry
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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♪ Family Guy 10x14 ♪
Be Careful What You Fish For
Original Air Date on February 19, 2012
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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Good evening. I'm Tom
Tucker bringing you news
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you heard four hours
ago on the Internet.
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Our top story: A mishap
in Quahog harbor today.
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That's right, Tom.
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A ferry carrying a shipment
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of brand-new Mercedes
Benzes from Germany
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crashed and sank just
a few miles off our coast.
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Thus far, the cars
remain on the ocean floor
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as the Germans refuse
to clean up the disaster.
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The German
Environmental Minister
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called a press
conference to issue
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the following statement:
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00:00:59,041 --> 00:01:01,826
I see nothing! I know nothing!
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00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:03,428
Holy crap! Did you
hear that, Lois?
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All them fancy cars out
there in the ocean, just
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00:01:05,623 --> 00:01:06,547
free for the taking?
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I'm gonna get me a Mercedes!
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Peter, that may be the
stupidest idea you've ever had.
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00:01:10,535 --> 00:01:12,837
And you've had some
pretty stupid ones.
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00:01:12,904 --> 00:01:14,571
Hi there. Peter Griffin.
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00:01:14,623 --> 00:01:17,291
You know, a lot of us here
at Family Guy are, frankly,
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00:01:17,376 --> 00:01:19,743
sickened by the sorry state
of education in this country
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00:01:19,795 --> 00:01:21,762
and how little
you people read anymore.
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00:01:21,847 --> 00:01:24,632
So, for this next cutaway,
we're gonna make you read it.
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That's right, you heard me.
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Do a little work
once in a while,
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instead of having
everything spoon-fed.
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00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:31,439
You want your yuks,
put in a little effort.
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00:01:31,523 --> 00:01:32,556
All right, go ahead.
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00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:53,461
Okay, that one might
have been more of a visual,
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00:01:53,545 --> 00:01:55,329
but you feel that feeling
you got right now?
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That's satisfaction.
You just read something.
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And no one can take
that away from you.
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00:02:00,669 --> 00:02:01,919
Proud of you.
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00:02:09,127 --> 00:02:11,295
Geez, you're a mess.
What is that?
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00:02:11,346 --> 00:02:13,197
It was finger-paint day.
What the hell?
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00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:15,199
Why didn't they clean
you up before you left?
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00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,301
Brian, there's, like,
37 other kids in there.
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00:02:17,352 --> 00:02:20,071
One was in a drawer all day.
Wow, seems like Lois would've
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checked that stuff out
before sending you.
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00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,407
Yeah, you'd think so, right?
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I mean, it's clearly
not a place of business.
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It's someone's house.
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00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:28,963
You know, half the time you
can hear someone showering.
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00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:31,815
I mean, you never see them, but
you can hear the shower going.
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00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,751
Really? That seems weird.
Yeah, and is it normal
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that Miss Emily tied
us all to the sink
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while she went out to
return a birthday present?
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00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,423
No, that's not
normal at all.
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You know, Stewie,
maybe I should
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come by tomorrow
and check things out.
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00:02:42,377 --> 00:02:44,095
That teacher sounds
really irresponsible.
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00:02:44,162 --> 00:02:45,846
She is. Adults are stupid.
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00:02:45,931 --> 00:02:49,016
The world would be so much
better if it were run by babies.
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Tonight on NBC... Shapes!
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And then... Colors!
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Followed by
an all-new... Dad's Keys!
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00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:09,388
Man, I can't wait
to get a Mercedes.
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Me, either.
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00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:11,908
Yeah, it's gonna be sweet.
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00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,760
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
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00:03:15,827 --> 00:03:17,995
What the hell is that?!
A sun hat.
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No, no, no, no, no.
What do you mean, no?
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I'm protecting my face
and neck from the sun.
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Use sunscreen!
Y-You don't need
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to put a circus
on your head.
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This is a ploy
for attention.
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00:03:26,738 --> 00:03:27,938
Sunscreens are
bad for you.
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00:03:28,006 --> 00:03:29,340
The chemicals get
in your skin.
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00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:31,158
Boy, you really want
to wear that hat.
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That hat's coming off!
No!
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You guys are jerks!
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I can have my own identity
besides you two.
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Not this way.
Not the hat way.
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Holy crap!
I think we got one!
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Aw, damn it!
It's just a dolphin.
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Sorry,
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00:03:52,897 --> 00:03:54,198
did I get in the way
of something?
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00:03:54,249 --> 00:03:55,616
No, it's all right.
We were just trying
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00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,118
to get some of them
sunken Mercedes.
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00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:59,620
Oh, yeah, there's a great big
pile of them down there.
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00:03:59,704 --> 00:04:01,872
Me and my mates, right,
we was having a laugh
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00:04:01,923 --> 00:04:04,074
sitting in of one of them,
pretending to be people.
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00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:05,759
You know, like, driving around
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00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:07,711
getting into incidents
with other motorists.
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00:04:07,762 --> 00:04:10,097
Honk, honk. "Stay out
the way, you old bat!"
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00:04:10,182 --> 00:04:11,348
Asian.
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00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:13,767
Not all Asians
are bad drivers.
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00:04:13,835 --> 00:04:15,919
No, no, not
all terrorists are Arab.
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00:04:15,971 --> 00:04:19,023
But, you know, they are, so...
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00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:20,441
Uh, well, I'm Peter,
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00:04:20,509 --> 00:04:22,510
and that's, uh, Joe,
and that's Quagmire.
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00:04:22,577 --> 00:04:23,794
Name's Billy, Billy Finn.
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00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:25,279
It's got "fin" in it.
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00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:26,647
I didn't pick it.
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00:04:26,731 --> 00:04:28,098
Luck of the draw.
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00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:31,152
Say, you want me to try
and get you one of those cars
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00:04:31,236 --> 00:04:32,436
from down there, yeah?
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00:04:32,504 --> 00:04:34,471
You would do that?!
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00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:35,639
Well, I could try.
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00:04:35,707 --> 00:04:38,142
Here, let me
give it a go.
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00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:39,260
He seems nice.
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00:04:39,327 --> 00:04:40,711
He does.
Yeah.
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00:04:42,214 --> 00:04:44,982
So, uh, what do you have
planned for the summer?
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00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:48,385
I'm sure he'll
be right back.
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00:04:48,453 --> 00:04:51,422
Sorry, mate, all I could get
was this hood ornament.
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This is just as good!
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00:04:53,024 --> 00:04:54,959
Thank you so much!
Hey, you know,
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00:04:55,026 --> 00:04:57,228
if there's ever anything
I could do for you...
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00:04:57,295 --> 00:04:58,729
Actually, you could
do something.
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00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:00,681
You could eat only
dolphin-safe tuna.
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00:05:00,765 --> 00:05:03,267
Wait, is that the brand
that costs five cents more?
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00:05:03,318 --> 00:05:04,635
No, I can't do that.
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00:05:04,686 --> 00:05:06,820
Things ain't so good
in America right now,
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00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:08,739
which is why
we're all so fat.
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00:05:12,977 --> 00:05:14,461
What did I tell you, Brian?
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00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:15,796
It's a nightmare in here.
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00:05:15,864 --> 00:05:17,298
Oh, my God!
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00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:29,176
Oh, what happened to that kid?
He fell off a stool
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00:05:29,244 --> 00:05:30,611
trying to turn off
Maury Povich.
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00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:32,229
This is awful!
Where's your teacher?
133
00:05:32,297 --> 00:05:34,215
Probably out back.
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00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:38,068
Excuse me, are you Miss Emily?
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00:05:38,136 --> 00:05:40,070
Yeah. Hi. Who are you?
136
00:05:40,138 --> 00:05:41,572
Uh, Brian.
137
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,340
Brian Steel.
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00:05:43,408 --> 00:05:45,209
I was just
dropping Stewie off.
139
00:05:45,277 --> 00:05:47,661
Oh, yeah! I should
probably go back in there,
140
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:49,063
see how everyone's
doing, I guess.
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00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,164
Ah, they're fine.
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00:05:50,232 --> 00:05:52,566
In fact, I see Stewie
reading a book.
143
00:05:52,634 --> 00:05:56,003
Scratch-and-sniff
Lindsay Lohan Goes Jogging.
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00:05:58,373 --> 00:06:00,124
Oh, God! That's terrible!
145
00:06:00,191 --> 00:06:01,659
Oh, here's a pop-up book.
146
00:06:01,726 --> 00:06:03,794
Tommy Lee Goes Boating.
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00:06:08,099 --> 00:06:10,034
Move, Lois! You're on
the hood ornament's pillow.
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00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:11,852
Peter, put that away.
It's time for bed.
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00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,854
W-Wait, hang on, Lois,
before I go to bed,
150
00:06:13,922 --> 00:06:15,306
I just got
to do one thing.
151
00:06:17,909 --> 00:06:18,463
Hello?
152
00:06:18,488 --> 00:06:20,458
Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt,
it's me, Peter.
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00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:23,213
You remember how you said
I'd never amount to nothing?
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00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:25,783
Is that a Mercedes?
155
00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:27,451
Peter, hang up the phone.
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00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:29,737
My God, who could be at
the door at this hour?
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00:06:29,804 --> 00:06:32,606
I don't know, but this late,
it's got to be bad news.
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00:06:32,674 --> 00:06:34,441
Everyone knows you
always get bad news
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00:06:34,509 --> 00:06:35,676
in the middle of the night.
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00:06:37,946 --> 00:06:40,097
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
Huh? What?
161
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:41,432
You have cancer!
What?!
162
00:06:41,499 --> 00:06:42,866
Yeah. I thought
you should know.
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00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,702
Okay, go back to sleep.
164
00:06:44,769 --> 00:06:46,103
Wait, I have questions.
165
00:06:46,171 --> 00:06:48,839
It's very late.
166
00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:52,076
Oh, hello. This
is the right house.
167
00:06:52,143 --> 00:06:53,310
That's good, then.
168
00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:54,611
What the hell?
169
00:06:54,679 --> 00:06:56,447
It's me, Billy. Billy Finn.
170
00:06:56,514 --> 00:06:59,483
Just wanted to take you up
on your nice offer from earlier.
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00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:01,819
What... I-I don't... What offer?
172
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:03,370
You know, the bit about
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00:07:03,438 --> 00:07:05,539
"If there's ever
anything I can do,"
174
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:08,242
so, yeah...
Oh.
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00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:10,978
Yeah, thought I might
make a go of it on land.
176
00:07:11,046 --> 00:07:12,913
So, "anything you
can ever do."
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00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:15,282
Here I am. Thank you.
178
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:17,117
Squid pro quo.
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00:07:17,185 --> 00:07:19,520
Thank you for not
being "shellfish."
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00:07:19,587 --> 00:07:21,689
I just said that
for the "halibut."
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00:07:21,756 --> 00:07:24,825
Fish puns.
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00:07:24,893 --> 00:07:26,427
Ah. Oh, cod.
183
00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:30,097
Oh, God, come on.
184
00:07:30,165 --> 00:07:31,765
Let me in.
185
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:33,634
Peter, who is it?
Is Meg dead?
186
00:07:33,702 --> 00:07:36,036
It's that dolphin--
I think he wants to crash here.
187
00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:37,838
And I have no info on Meg.
188
00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:39,006
He wants to what?
189
00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:40,307
I-I'm not sure that...
190
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:41,642
I brought a gift.
191
00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:44,378
Put it to your ear.
You can hear the ocean.
192
00:07:44,446 --> 00:07:46,013
♪ Caribbean Queen
193
00:07:46,081 --> 00:07:48,482
♪ Now we're sharing...
It's broken or something.
194
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,517
All I hear is...
It's Billy Ocean!
195
00:07:52,654 --> 00:07:54,555
Oh, God! I got
loads more.
196
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:08,299
So, Billy, I, uh, I hope
the couch was all right?
197
00:08:08,304 --> 00:08:09,705
Yeah, a lot better
than the floor.
198
00:08:09,772 --> 00:08:12,274
And I should know, 'cause
I went down on the floor,
199
00:08:12,342 --> 00:08:14,497
thinking it had to be a
lot better than the couch.
200
00:08:14,498 --> 00:08:16,833
Okay, well,
breakfast is ready.
201
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,101
Oh. Uh...
202
00:08:18,168 --> 00:08:20,069
Is everything all right?
203
00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,605
Yeah. Well, it's just...
204
00:08:22,673 --> 00:08:24,139
would you mind tossing
it up in the air for me?
205
00:08:24,164 --> 00:08:25,564
Well, I don't know...
206
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,210
Lois, he is our guest.
207
00:08:27,277 --> 00:08:29,011
Toss it in the air.
208
00:08:32,199 --> 00:08:35,885
Uh, I'm used to a
little applause, so...
209
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:38,955
All right, all right.
210
00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:40,456
Not bad. Afternoon crowd.
211
00:08:40,524 --> 00:08:42,692
Lightly attended.
212
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,727
So, Billy, how long will
you be staying with us?
213
00:08:44,795 --> 00:08:46,362
Are you kidding?
As long as he wants!
214
00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:48,765
Yay! We live with a dolphin!
215
00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:53,302
Anyway, I'm off
to read Meg's diary.
216
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:55,020
Only been here one night,
but I get the sense
217
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,730
we all dislike Meg.
218
00:08:56,857 --> 00:09:00,526
Um, I'm a dolphin--
smart, intuitive.
219
00:09:00,594 --> 00:09:04,147
Also, Peter told me
in the hall. Ha.
220
00:09:04,214 --> 00:09:06,866
Peter, I'm not so sure about
Billy staying here with us.
221
00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:08,446
What are you talking about?
He's hilarious.
222
00:09:08,471 --> 00:09:09,185
I don't know.
223
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:11,521
Listen, just leave it to me.
I'm great with animals.
224
00:09:11,588 --> 00:09:13,105
Remember when I lived
with those ants?
225
00:09:14,558 --> 00:09:16,976
We're working on something.
226
00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:24,650
Yes? May I help you?
227
00:09:24,718 --> 00:09:26,051
Hey, put him down!
228
00:09:26,103 --> 00:09:27,937
Who are you?
I-I can't stop him!
229
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,155
Can anyone stop him?
230
00:09:29,223 --> 00:09:30,990
No? Well, he's gone.
231
00:09:31,058 --> 00:09:32,859
Hey, Stewie.
How's it going?
232
00:09:32,910 --> 00:09:35,812
Brian, what are you doing here?
Came by to check on my pal.
233
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,880
Where's, uh, Miss Emily?
I haven't seen her yet today.
234
00:09:37,948 --> 00:09:40,383
She gave me the keys to open
up when she left yesterday.
235
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,385
I thought you said you
were gonna talk to her.
236
00:09:42,452 --> 00:09:44,420
I did, a-and she's doing
her best, you know?
237
00:09:44,488 --> 00:09:46,155
She's got a lot
on her plate.
238
00:09:46,223 --> 00:09:47,790
She's got school.
She's got work.
239
00:09:47,858 --> 00:09:49,058
This is her work!
240
00:09:49,126 --> 00:09:50,393
Oh, hi, Brian.
241
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:53,029
I thought you had a busy day
at your legal practice.
242
00:09:53,096 --> 00:09:54,664
Oh...
243
00:09:54,731 --> 00:09:56,899
Hey, Emily! Yeah, I had
some time between cases.
244
00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:58,801
I thought I'd see
how you were doing.
245
00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:00,336
That's so nice of you!
246
00:10:00,404 --> 00:10:02,271
Let me just put
these bags away
247
00:10:02,339 --> 00:10:05,641
and throw some saltines
in the yard for the kids.
248
00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,162
You're disgusting.
249
00:10:07,187 --> 00:10:08,543
Hey, I'm sorry,
but Miss Emily and I
250
00:10:08,545 --> 00:10:10,880
have a connection, which
is totally unexpected.
251
00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:13,222
And by the way,
I actually think she's
252
00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:14,183
doing a pretty good job.
253
00:10:14,184 --> 00:10:15,585
She's teaching you
guys independence.
254
00:10:15,652 --> 00:10:17,019
We're one!
255
00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:19,021
Independence means we die!
256
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:20,973
Do you like this?
I just got it.
257
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,942
Say you like it, or
she's gonna spend
258
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:25,011
the rest of the afternoon
out returning that stuff.
259
00:10:25,078 --> 00:10:26,729
Looks great!
260
00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:28,714
Wow, you really
fill these things up.
261
00:10:28,782 --> 00:10:31,350
Hey, do you think maybe you'd
want to hang out sometime?
262
00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:33,219
What, you mean like
a movie or something?
263
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:34,720
Yeah, or-or maybe lunch?
264
00:10:34,788 --> 00:10:37,290
I had a bad experience last
time I went to the movies.
265
00:10:37,357 --> 00:10:38,925
We're good friends,
aren't we, Milo?
266
00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:40,793
We're best friends, Otis.
267
00:10:40,861 --> 00:10:42,161
No! No!
268
00:10:42,229 --> 00:10:44,030
I reject the premise of this!
269
00:10:47,301 --> 00:10:49,952
Okay, who's ready for
Family Movie Night?
270
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:51,487
All right, tonight's selection:
271
00:10:51,555 --> 00:10:54,190
Tim Burton's
Alice in Wonderland in 3D.
272
00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:56,475
Now let's all sit down
and take our headache.
273
00:10:56,526 --> 00:10:57,476
Or...
274
00:10:57,527 --> 00:10:58,844
or-or...
275
00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:01,030
we could watch...
The Cove,
276
00:11:01,114 --> 00:11:02,248
The Cove?
277
00:11:02,316 --> 00:11:04,016
Isn't that that
horrible documentary
278
00:11:04,084 --> 00:11:05,217
where they kill
all the fish?
279
00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:06,969
Dolphins, actually.
280
00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:08,537
Well, yeah, but this one
was in the video store
281
00:11:08,605 --> 00:11:09,872
under "Ethan's Picks."
282
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,073
Come on, Peter.
283
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:12,742
Billy's our guest.
284
00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:14,577
All right,
we'll watch The Cove.
285
00:11:18,048 --> 00:11:18,948
Oh, my God!
286
00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:20,032
I don't want to see this!
287
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,384
I know you can't tell this,
288
00:11:21,468 --> 00:11:22,735
but the one who's about
to get her throat cut,
289
00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:25,021
she's sorta hot.
290
00:11:28,275 --> 00:11:30,893
Wh-Wh-What are you doing?
291
00:11:30,961 --> 00:11:32,828
What do you think I'm doing?
You're stoolin'?
292
00:11:32,896 --> 00:11:34,430
What, you gotta
do that in here?
293
00:11:34,498 --> 00:11:36,499
Well, where else am I
supposed to do it?
294
00:11:36,566 --> 00:11:38,784
I can't just do it
on the floor, can I?
295
00:11:38,852 --> 00:11:40,864
You'd be all, like,
"Ooh, who left this coil
296
00:11:40,889 --> 00:11:42,289
of rope on the floor?"
297
00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:44,323
It's very... comes out
very ropey is my point.
298
00:11:44,391 --> 00:11:46,325
But I gotta take a bath.
Go on, then.
299
00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:47,426
We're both men.
300
00:11:47,494 --> 00:11:50,029
Well... all right,
I guess.
301
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,430
There you go!
302
00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:53,766
Look at that!
303
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:54,934
What is...
304
00:11:55,002 --> 00:11:56,535
Whoa! Solar eclipse.
305
00:11:56,603 --> 00:11:57,770
Blocking the sun.
306
00:11:57,838 --> 00:12:00,272
Do not look directly
at it.
307
00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:01,373
Wh-Wha-What the hell?
308
00:12:01,425 --> 00:12:02,491
What're you doin'?
309
00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:03,759
I'm just making
a comment.
310
00:12:03,827 --> 00:12:05,645
Um, need to
know somethin'.
311
00:12:05,712 --> 00:12:08,347
Do you hear the word
"morbidly" a lot?
312
00:12:08,415 --> 00:12:10,082
This is not fair.
O-O-Okay.
313
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:11,383
And, again, I'm gonna
ask one more question,
314
00:12:11,435 --> 00:12:12,668
and don't take this
the wrong way,
315
00:12:12,736 --> 00:12:14,883
but have you actually
got a penis?
316
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:15,821
Yes.
317
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,189
Where-where is it?
Where is it?
318
00:12:17,257 --> 00:12:18,958
It's in there.
Are you sure?
319
00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:20,693
So it's like Mr.
Snuffleupagus, is it?
320
00:12:20,761 --> 00:12:22,227
Aw, the hell with this.
321
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:24,230
Lois, get the ruler,
we're measuring again.
322
00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:26,532
And this time, I decide
where the base is.
323
00:12:29,286 --> 00:12:30,586
So then I'm reading
the funnies,
324
00:12:30,654 --> 00:12:32,655
and right before I get
to the last panel,
325
00:12:32,723 --> 00:12:34,757
Billy blurts out,
he goes, he goes,
326
00:12:34,825 --> 00:12:37,777
"You know, those firemen showed
up to get a cat out of the tree,
327
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,879
but it turns out it's really
Marmaduke up there."
328
00:12:39,946 --> 00:12:41,580
It ruined the whole damn thing!
329
00:12:41,648 --> 00:12:44,850
Peter, in Billy's defense,
the strip is called Marmaduke,
330
00:12:44,918 --> 00:12:47,053
and Marmaduke had not yet
made an appearance.
331
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,654
You probably should've
seen that coming.
332
00:12:48,722 --> 00:12:50,256
I tell ya, he was fun at first,
333
00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,975
but now I'm not sure I can take
much more of him living here.
334
00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:55,511
Well, Peter, you've more than
paid back your debt to him.
335
00:12:55,579 --> 00:12:56,712
I mean, what did he do?
336
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,047
He-he got you a hood ornament.
337
00:12:58,115 --> 00:13:00,049
If you ask me,
it's time for him to go.
338
00:13:00,117 --> 00:13:01,183
Yeah, you're right.
339
00:13:01,251 --> 00:13:02,585
Plus, the sooner
we get him out of here,
340
00:13:02,652 --> 00:13:05,488
the sooner I can get back
to my cocaine and dollhouses.
341
00:13:16,149 --> 00:13:17,717
Dinner is served.
342
00:13:19,486 --> 00:13:21,053
Get out!
343
00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:25,524
Stewie, what's going on?
344
00:13:25,592 --> 00:13:26,809
Aren't you supposed
to be at day care?
345
00:13:26,877 --> 00:13:29,295
I escaped.
What happened to your arm?
346
00:13:29,362 --> 00:13:30,896
I finally stood up for all of us
347
00:13:30,964 --> 00:13:32,832
and told Miss Emily we should
be given a proper lunch
348
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,500
and not just what's left over
from her Baja Fresh.
349
00:13:34,568 --> 00:13:36,485
And she said
I shouldn't raise my voice
350
00:13:36,553 --> 00:13:38,471
and pulled me really hard
into the other room,
351
00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,406
and my arm came
out of its socket.
352
00:13:40,474 --> 00:13:41,807
Are you sure?
353
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,909
Are you sure you didn't
just sleep on it funny?
354
00:13:43,977 --> 00:13:45,694
Does this look like
I slept on it funny?!
355
00:13:45,779 --> 00:13:46,746
I'm gonna tell Mom!
356
00:13:46,813 --> 00:13:47,696
Mom!
357
00:13:47,781 --> 00:13:49,098
You are not going anywhere.
358
00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:51,250
I finally have a date
with Miss Emily tomorrow,
359
00:13:51,318 --> 00:13:53,052
and I'm not gonna let you
or anybody else get in my way
360
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,020
until I have seen
every inch of her naked.
361
00:13:55,088 --> 00:13:56,388
Do you even hear yourself?!
362
00:13:56,456 --> 00:13:58,157
And what am I supposed
to do about my arm?!
363
00:13:58,208 --> 00:13:59,325
I'll just pop it back in.
364
00:13:59,392 --> 00:14:00,709
You most certainly will not!
365
00:14:00,777 --> 00:14:02,311
I need to go to a hospital.
366
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:04,180
Brian, is Stewie
in there with you?
367
00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:05,531
Mom!
368
00:14:05,599 --> 00:14:07,366
We're in here, Lois.
He's napping.
369
00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:09,501
Relax. I'm gonna
pop it back in.
370
00:14:14,658 --> 00:14:17,226
Get in there! C-Come on!
Hold still, Stewie!
371
00:14:22,883 --> 00:14:24,950
I'm not saying
I like pain.
372
00:14:25,018 --> 00:14:27,286
But I'm not saying
I don't like it either.
373
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:34,460
Hey, uh, listen, Billy, it's
been fun having you stay here,
374
00:14:34,528 --> 00:14:37,396
but we really need to talk about
making some new arrangements.
375
00:14:37,464 --> 00:14:38,597
Oh, do we?
376
00:14:38,665 --> 00:14:40,399
Is this because there's
some kind of problem
377
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:41,433
with the hood ornament?
378
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:42,434
No, that's... it's...
379
00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:44,120
that's... it's-it's fine.
380
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:45,754
Oh, good, good.
That's good to hear,
381
00:14:45,822 --> 00:14:48,174
'cause it dawned on me
that the only thing better than
382
00:14:48,241 --> 00:14:50,893
you having one of them would
be you having two of them.
383
00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:52,862
Don't you say those things.
384
00:14:52,929 --> 00:14:54,630
Don't you say those things
unless they're true.
385
00:14:54,698 --> 00:14:56,098
Yeah, be quite a thing
386
00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:57,733
for you to have two of them,
wouldn't it?
387
00:14:57,801 --> 00:14:59,001
Would it ever!
388
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,073
Wonderful!
389
00:15:04,157 --> 00:15:05,107
The best!
390
00:15:05,192 --> 00:15:06,325
Very fancy!
391
00:15:08,695 --> 00:15:12,064
Now, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
392
00:15:12,132 --> 00:15:13,065
Nothing, nothing.
393
00:15:16,169 --> 00:15:17,102
Tricia Takanawa?
394
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,420
What are you doing here?
395
00:15:18,488 --> 00:15:21,390
Peter, I'm standing here
on your front porch,
396
00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:24,493
hoping to kill that dolphin
with this harpoon.
397
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,653
So the thing about dolphin
lullabies is that they're all
398
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,855
in the key of
"eee-eee"!
399
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:42,724
"Eee"!
400
00:15:44,561 --> 00:15:45,694
That's loud.
401
00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:46,995
I get why
that's factual.
402
00:15:47,063 --> 00:15:48,197
I don't see
why it's funny.
403
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,583
Eh-eh! What the hell, man?!
404
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,552
Drink beer much?
405
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,355
I just learned that
"much" thing from the telly.
406
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,456
Hey, here's a question:
407
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,258
When are you going
back to the ocean?
408
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,677
Yeah, I mean, don't you have
family back there?
409
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:03,912
I used to, but not anymore.
410
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,148
Um, the wife won't
have me back.
411
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,482
Threw me out, actually.
412
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,167
Well, maybe you
should talk to her.
413
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,170
Peter, believe me, if she'd take
me back, I'd go in a second.
414
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:15,874
But she won't, so as much
as I love her, moot point.
415
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,276
Moving on.
416
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,044
Uh...
417
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,680
Well, gotta go
and drain the eel.
418
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:22,748
It's electric.
419
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,849
My penis.
420
00:16:26,035 --> 00:16:28,136
Hey, throw darts much?
421
00:16:30,006 --> 00:16:31,173
Boy, I see what
you're saying, Peter.
422
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,307
Billy's annoying.
423
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:33,792
Yeah, and P.S.,
424
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,094
that guy doesn't throw
darts much. He's new.
425
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,901
Peter, I thought you said you
were gonna ask Billy to leave.
426
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,770
He's still sleeping
on the couch out there.
427
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,138
I know, Lois, but I found out
428
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:47,906
he's only here
'cause his wife kicked him out.
429
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:51,426
So I figured out a way to kill
two birds with one stone.
430
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,262
Like this.
431
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,931
The key to that, Lois,
is big rock, small birds.
432
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:57,532
Oh, and I also figured out
433
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,801
how to achieve two goals
with one action.
434
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:02,237
See, I'm gonna help Billy
get back together with his wife,
435
00:17:02,305 --> 00:17:04,239
and then he'll move out
and stop annoying us.
436
00:17:04,307 --> 00:17:05,540
How do you plan to do that?
437
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,875
Are you kidding?
438
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,076
I'm great at getting
people back together.
439
00:17:08,144 --> 00:17:09,845
I even recorded a song about it.
440
00:17:09,913 --> 00:17:12,047
("Reunited" intro playing)
441
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:18,120
♪ Reunited
and it feels so good ♪
442
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:23,508
♪ Doin' someone
that you used to do ♪
443
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,461
♪ That's what
this song's about ♪
444
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,681
♪ You could find someone else
445
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:32,718
♪ But this
seems a little easier ♪
446
00:17:32,769 --> 00:17:35,687
♪ 'Cause you
already have their number ♪
447
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,055
♪ Yeah, yeah...
448
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:41,727
Hey, guys.
449
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:44,229
Everybody having
fun playing with...
450
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,781
What-what is that?
451
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,800
A piece of wood with a,
with a nail in it. Neat.
452
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,002
He can't hear you.
453
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,370
There was a kitchen
explosion today,
454
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,904
and half the kids are deaf.
455
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,756
Oh, hi, Brian.
Hey, Emily.
456
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:55,891
Wow, you look great.
457
00:17:55,959 --> 00:17:57,059
You're ready to go?
458
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,093
Yeah, one sec.
459
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,328
I'm leaving, honey.
460
00:17:59,395 --> 00:18:00,996
Okay, babe, have fun.
461
00:18:01,064 --> 00:18:03,765
I'm probably just gonna take
a couple more showers.
462
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,067
Who-who was that?
463
00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:06,401
That's my boyfriend, Devin.
464
00:18:06,469 --> 00:18:07,502
Are you ready for lunch?
465
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,391
11-25,
Code 6, 105 North Avenue...
466
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,958
What you did
to these kids...
467
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,229
There is a special place
in hell for people like you.
468
00:18:20,883 --> 00:18:23,352
Come on, let's go home.
469
00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:25,187
Man, when she
gets to jail,
470
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:27,022
she's gonna be
major lez-chow.
471
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:30,192
She sure is, Stewie.
She sure is.
472
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,647
I'm telling you, Peter,
you're wasting your time.
473
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,199
She's never taking me back.
474
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,834
Well, you'll never
know until you try.
475
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,420
Hey, I brought this sack
of garbage from my home.
476
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:42,987
Where do I put this?
Just anywhere?
477
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,373
Yeah. Anywhere.
478
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,760
Yay, people!
479
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,012
All right, here she comes.
480
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,180
Oh, hello, Joanne.
481
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,715
Billy?! What are
you doing here?
482
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,352
He's here because he loves you,
and he wants to patch things up.
483
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,170
Hey, how come
you ain't got boobs?
484
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,806
You like a runner
or something?
485
00:19:00,857 --> 00:19:01,973
Who's this, then?
486
00:19:02,025 --> 00:19:03,692
He's just a friend,
trying to help.
487
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,844
Look, Billy,
I don't care
488
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:09,514
what you or your fat friend
here has to say, it's over.
489
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,534
Well, thanks
for trying.
490
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,403
I knew she wouldn't
listen to you, though.
491
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,371
Well, maybe so.
492
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,458
But I know someone
she'll have to listen to.
493
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:20,992
Hey, gang,
I'm Aquaman.
494
00:19:21,044 --> 00:19:22,627
Get back together.
495
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,463
Boop-boop-boop-boop-
boop-boop-boop.
496
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,331
That's not
Aquaman!
497
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,833
Billy, what
is going on?
498
00:19:27,884 --> 00:19:29,084
Let me answer that.
499
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,887
Look, Joanne, Billy had
nothing to do with this.
500
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:35,057
It was just a dumb plan my
buddies and I put together
501
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,208
because we know how
much Billy loves you.
502
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,177
And he misses you very much.
503
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:41,229
Look, just give him
another chance.
504
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:44,599
And if you won't do it
for me, do it for Fish Jesus.
505
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,651
Do you have Fish Jesus?
Of course.
506
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,387
He was nailed to a board
and hung in a man's study
507
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,857
as a novelty to
sing funny songs.
508
00:19:51,908 --> 00:19:54,076
Your god is a gag gift,
did you know that?
509
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,410
Would you excuse us?
510
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,897
Is it true, Billy?
511
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,248
Do you really miss me?
512
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,084
Joanne, I am so sorry.
513
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,618
I promise
I'll do better.
514
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,620
You know what?
I had to live on the land
515
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,923
to learn there might
be a million fish in the sea,
516
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,958
but there's only one you.
517
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,827
Oh, Billy...
518
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,917
Aw, look at that.
519
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,103
That's nice.
520
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,839
Oh, cool, they're
already using my garbage!
521
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,229
Hey, Brian, thanks for helping
get rid of Miss Emily.
522
00:20:31,297 --> 00:20:32,464
Although I've got to say,
523
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,466
my new preschool teacher
is even hotter.
524
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:35,634
Really?
Yeah.
525
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:36,868
Let me know if you
want his number.
526
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,538
Oh, you!
527
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:40,972
Okay, now just
stay like this
528
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,958
and let Peter and Lois
finish their thing.
529
00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:45,127
Wow, Peter, you did
a really nice thing
530
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:47,562
helping Billy get back
together with his wife.
531
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:49,021
Yeah, and the best part
is, he's out of the house
532
00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:50,246
and back in the ocean.
533
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,317
I guess everything
worked out for everybody.
534
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,622
Arr! 'Tis a mighty haul!
535
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,174
Hey.
Oh.
536
00:20:59,242 --> 00:21:01,243
Yeah, it's me as Neptune.
537
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:05,802
== sync, corrected by elderman ==