1 00:00:01,492 --> 00:00:04,840 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,152 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,184 --> 00:00:11,754 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,787 --> 00:00:14,757 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,790 --> 00:00:18,262 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,295 --> 00:00:21,832 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,865 --> 00:00:23,300 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,332 --> 00:00:24,667 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,701 --> 00:00:30,341 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:37,322 ANNOUNCER: We now return to The Last Man on Earth 11 00:00:37,355 --> 00:00:40,392 Plus These Other 16 People with More Showing Up Every Day. 12 00:00:40,425 --> 00:00:42,145 No way they'll pull this off. 13 00:00:42,147 --> 00:00:43,854 A show with just one character 14 00:00:43,856 --> 00:00:45,826 and an unlimited number of other characters? 15 00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:48,564 Peter, you can't just sit there and watch TV all day. 16 00:00:48,597 --> 00:00:50,834 - You have to mow the lawn. - Aw, this sucks. 17 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,575 I was gonna go down to the Guitar Center 18 00:00:52,608 --> 00:00:53,715 and annoy people. 19 00:01:01,376 --> 00:01:05,429 FYI: My mom's not picking me up for a long time, because... 20 00:01:07,989 --> 00:01:09,360 she's dead! 21 00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:14,390 Hey, Brian, you want a beer? 22 00:01:14,424 --> 00:01:16,063 Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon. 23 00:01:16,095 --> 00:01:17,509 Shouldn't you be mowing the lawn? 24 00:01:17,542 --> 00:01:19,061 I am mowing the lawn. 25 00:01:19,094 --> 00:01:21,611 (BLEATING) 26 00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:23,646 - Where'd you get these? - Craigslist. 27 00:01:23,679 --> 00:01:26,182 Boy, that's got to be some long list. 28 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,886 WOMAN: and pool tables and jukeboxes... 29 00:01:28,919 --> 00:01:30,887 Craig, are you getting all this down? 30 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,389 Yes. Is that it? 31 00:01:32,422 --> 00:01:36,426 No! Futons, everyone's grandfather's golf clubs... 32 00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:37,560 I-Is that it? 33 00:01:37,594 --> 00:01:39,262 No! Gay sex... 34 00:01:39,295 --> 00:01:41,464 - What kind? - All of it! 35 00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:47,740 I have milked all the goats. 36 00:01:47,742 --> 00:01:49,745 Peter, all those goats are males. 37 00:01:49,747 --> 00:01:52,350 Well, the buckets are full and the goats are happy. 38 00:01:52,382 --> 00:01:54,584 I just hope word doesn't get around. 39 00:01:55,818 --> 00:01:57,855 I like good times. 40 00:02:01,525 --> 00:02:03,494 ANNOUNCER: We now return to Top Gun 41 00:02:03,526 --> 00:02:05,495 with only public domain music. 42 00:02:05,529 --> 00:02:07,365 (BAND PLAYS LIVELY INTRO) 43 00:02:07,398 --> 00:02:11,535 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes ♪ 44 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:14,170 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain... ♪ 45 00:02:14,203 --> 00:02:17,674 Oh, my God, what the hell did the goats do in here? 46 00:02:17,708 --> 00:02:19,175 This place is disgusting! 47 00:02:19,209 --> 00:02:20,544 Where's your father? 48 00:02:20,577 --> 00:02:21,713 Peter! 49 00:02:29,252 --> 00:02:31,321 PETER (BLEATS): Lois is maaaad. 50 00:02:31,354 --> 00:02:33,490 Go to the Claaaam. 51 00:02:33,524 --> 00:02:36,894 Peter, I both saw you and recognized my husband's voice. 52 00:02:36,926 --> 00:02:38,763 Go baaaack. 53 00:02:40,564 --> 00:02:42,365 Lois! I-I didn't know you were home. 54 00:02:42,399 --> 00:02:46,003 Well, I guess we can all agree this was a great idea. The end. 55 00:02:46,036 --> 00:02:48,072 ♪ Ba-na-na-na Family Guy... ♪ 56 00:02:48,104 --> 00:02:50,340 Enough! My parents will be here any minute. 57 00:02:50,374 --> 00:02:52,342 You better get this house cleaned up. 58 00:02:52,376 --> 00:02:54,512 Don't worry, Lois. I have a Roomba. 59 00:02:54,544 --> 00:02:56,547 (WHIRRING) 60 00:02:57,981 --> 00:02:59,583 Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute. 61 00:02:59,615 --> 00:03:01,584 It'll... it'll figure it out. 62 00:03:01,618 --> 00:03:04,221 It's learning. That's-that's part of what it does. 63 00:03:04,253 --> 00:03:06,122 I think it's getting it. 64 00:03:06,156 --> 00:03:08,057 Now she's cookin'. 65 00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:10,293 Hang on to your hat. 66 00:03:10,327 --> 00:03:12,797 Clean floor dead ahead. 67 00:03:12,829 --> 00:03:14,697 Good purchase. 68 00:03:14,731 --> 00:03:16,699 Behold the future. 69 00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:18,269 All right, here it goes. 70 00:03:18,301 --> 00:03:19,470 (WHIRRING STOPS) 71 00:03:19,502 --> 00:03:20,870 And the battery's dead. 72 00:03:20,904 --> 00:03:22,573 (DOORBELL RINGS) 73 00:03:23,607 --> 00:03:25,776 Darling, so wonderful to be here. 74 00:03:25,809 --> 00:03:28,112 (CHUCKLES): Yeah, right. The drive here is like 75 00:03:28,144 --> 00:03:30,780 a counterclockwise trip around the Monopoly board. 76 00:03:30,814 --> 00:03:33,316 PETER (CHUCKLES): He has no paaaants. 77 00:03:33,350 --> 00:03:35,186 Peter, get out of there. 78 00:03:36,953 --> 00:03:38,788 Lois, what's going on here? 79 00:03:38,822 --> 00:03:41,125 Well, I asked Peter to mow the lawn. 80 00:03:41,157 --> 00:03:43,281 Will somebody turn off Top Gun?! 81 00:03:43,314 --> 00:03:44,343 (SONG STOPS) 82 00:03:44,345 --> 00:03:45,896 So obviously he bought a herd of goats, 83 00:03:45,929 --> 00:03:47,965 and now they've taken over the house. 84 00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:50,567 Lois, I worry this is not a healthy environment 85 00:03:50,601 --> 00:03:52,470 - for the children. - Mom, please. 86 00:03:52,502 --> 00:03:55,138 You know I would never put my children in harm's way. 87 00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:56,639 Oh, boy. AMBER Alert. 88 00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:59,509 Stewie was last seen with a goat in a '98 Toyota Tercel 89 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:00,911 heading north on I-95. 90 00:04:00,943 --> 00:04:02,847 How do you turn those off, by the way? 91 00:04:02,879 --> 00:04:04,481 Lois, I've seen enough. 92 00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:07,918 You're completely overwhelmed, and you have four children. 93 00:04:07,951 --> 00:04:10,153 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 94 00:04:10,186 --> 00:04:12,355 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 95 00:04:12,388 --> 00:04:14,455 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 96 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,776 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 97 00:04:16,809 --> 00:04:18,862 (CHUCKLES) Four children. 98 00:04:18,895 --> 00:04:20,263 Hey! 99 00:04:20,297 --> 00:04:21,664 You need help, Lois. 100 00:04:21,698 --> 00:04:23,667 And since I don't believe in psychiatry, 101 00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,683 I'm getting you a nanny. 102 00:04:25,717 --> 00:04:27,371 Well, I guess it would be good to have some help 103 00:04:27,403 --> 00:04:28,463 with Meg and Chris. 104 00:04:28,497 --> 00:04:30,541 And Stewie, if he's ever found. 105 00:04:33,176 --> 00:04:35,446 Honey, do you think that's the goat and baby 106 00:04:35,479 --> 00:04:37,948 - from the AMBER alert? - Uh, it's a Tercel, 107 00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:40,584 but I don't think it's the right year. 108 00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:47,725 (DOORBELL RINGS) 109 00:04:47,758 --> 00:04:49,493 That must be the new nanny. 110 00:04:49,525 --> 00:04:51,494 Is this the Griffin house? 111 00:04:51,527 --> 00:04:53,898 Welcome to this work environment. 112 00:04:53,931 --> 00:04:56,300 Oh. I'm not the nanny. I'm her Uber driver. 113 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:57,868 Your nanny's still in the car. 114 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,669 She dozed off on the way here. 115 00:04:59,703 --> 00:05:01,672 I not doze off, Yoober. 116 00:05:01,705 --> 00:05:04,918 Was looking at crinkled photos of dead relatives. 117 00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:06,509 Hello. I am Natalia. 118 00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:08,745 What is favorite breakfast fish? 119 00:05:08,778 --> 00:05:10,880 Well, if you must know... 120 00:05:10,914 --> 00:05:14,252 Welcome to this work environment. 121 00:05:22,292 --> 00:05:23,927 Okay, Natalia, level with me. 122 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,295 Why are you really here? 123 00:05:25,328 --> 00:05:28,365 I have been sent to neutralize liberal Jewish dissident, 124 00:05:28,398 --> 00:05:30,268 Fievel Mousekewitz. 125 00:05:32,302 --> 00:05:34,439 Oh. Well, the only mouse in this neighborhood is 126 00:05:34,472 --> 00:05:36,474 our innocent neighbor, Frank Maxwell. 127 00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:39,639 Comrade Mousekewitz! 128 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,812 Did you think you could run forever? 129 00:05:41,845 --> 00:05:44,648 I, uh, I think you've got the wrong mouse. 130 00:05:44,682 --> 00:05:47,117 I'm just regular old Frank Maxwell, 131 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:49,287 and I'm very late for work. 132 00:05:49,319 --> 00:05:50,821 Good day, ma'am. 133 00:05:51,821 --> 00:05:52,990 (STARTS ENGINE) 134 00:05:53,023 --> 00:05:54,992 Whoa! You killed him? 135 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:56,393 That was not me. 136 00:05:56,427 --> 00:05:58,296 Someone else got to him first. 137 00:05:59,295 --> 00:06:01,475 Tough break, Jew mouse. Ha-ha! 138 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,467 Hi. I'm Peter Griffin. 139 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:06,304 Under parody law, in order to use someone else's character 140 00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:08,605 in an unlicensed fashion, we have to provide 141 00:06:08,638 --> 00:06:10,174 something called "commentary." 142 00:06:10,206 --> 00:06:13,243 The commentary here is that Mickey Mouse hates Jews. 143 00:06:13,276 --> 00:06:17,114 Now, let's see what else this new nanny has up her sleeve. 144 00:06:21,052 --> 00:06:24,455 Okay, Stewie, this is favorite Belarusian children book 145 00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:27,791 called Goodnight Moon of Chernobyl. 146 00:06:27,824 --> 00:06:29,860 "Goodnight Chernobyl moon. 147 00:06:29,893 --> 00:06:32,517 Goodnight radiation house. 148 00:06:32,549 --> 00:06:34,665 Goodnight melted phone. 149 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,934 Goodnight glowing milk. 150 00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:39,871 Goodnight bleeding grandpa's eyes. 151 00:06:39,903 --> 00:06:42,339 Goodnight two-headed cat. 152 00:06:42,372 --> 00:06:44,509 Goodnight nobody. 153 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:48,446 Goodnight blocks and blocks and blocks of nobody. 154 00:06:48,478 --> 00:06:50,280 The end." 155 00:06:50,314 --> 00:06:51,883 Next book. 156 00:06:51,915 --> 00:06:53,684 Everybody Poops... 157 00:06:53,718 --> 00:06:55,487 Blood. 158 00:06:59,165 --> 00:07:01,302 I'll get started on dinner. 159 00:07:03,469 --> 00:07:04,938 No need to start dinner. 160 00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:07,273 Homework is done. Kids are fed. 161 00:07:07,306 --> 00:07:09,799 You two should go out and have lovely evening. 162 00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:12,996 - Together? - Yes. Everything taken care of. 163 00:07:13,028 --> 00:07:15,626 Go out. Enjoy American freedom. 164 00:07:15,659 --> 00:07:16,939 What do you say, Peter? 165 00:07:16,972 --> 00:07:19,168 Eh, it could be fun. And we haven't been on a date 166 00:07:19,201 --> 00:07:20,536 since I broke the Guinness record 167 00:07:20,569 --> 00:07:23,280 for longest nasal exhale at that Tina Fey movie. 168 00:07:23,314 --> 00:07:26,343 FEY: You're the baby mama? Well, that's no bueno. 169 00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:28,378 (INHALES THROUGH NOSE) 170 00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:31,415 (EXHALING THROUGH NOSE) 171 00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:36,447 (CONTINUES EXHALING THROUGH NOSE) 172 00:07:41,391 --> 00:07:42,492 Hello. I'm Steve. 173 00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,027 I'll be your server this evening. 174 00:07:44,059 --> 00:07:45,699 May I start you off with a cocktail? 175 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:48,864 (CLEARS THROAT) 176 00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:50,299 You don't work here, do you? 177 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:51,553 I do not. 178 00:07:52,234 --> 00:07:53,869 Oh, this is nice. 179 00:07:53,903 --> 00:07:55,539 So, how's work? 180 00:07:55,571 --> 00:07:57,040 Good. 181 00:07:58,742 --> 00:08:00,210 How, uh... 182 00:08:00,242 --> 00:08:02,478 how's the stuff you do during your day? 183 00:08:02,511 --> 00:08:04,180 - Good. - Good. 184 00:08:05,415 --> 00:08:07,049 So... is that it? 185 00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:09,720 Did we do a date? Phones back on? 186 00:08:09,753 --> 00:08:12,022 Peter, we finally have a chance to reconnect. 187 00:08:12,054 --> 00:08:13,590 We've been given this opportunity. 188 00:08:13,622 --> 00:08:15,191 It's like before we had kids. 189 00:08:15,225 --> 00:08:17,094 We got to make the most of it. 190 00:08:17,127 --> 00:08:18,428 H-Hang on, hang on, Lois. 191 00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:20,831 Give me two of those round balls of butter and a breadstick. 192 00:08:20,864 --> 00:08:22,264 You'll see where I'm heading with this. 193 00:08:22,297 --> 00:08:25,402 Okay, look, look, look. Here's what you want. 194 00:08:25,435 --> 00:08:27,404 - Here's what you got. - (CHUCKLES) 195 00:08:27,436 --> 00:08:29,572 I'm very happy with what I got. 196 00:08:29,605 --> 00:08:33,467 Hmm. Well, maybe I can give you half a breadstick later. 197 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:36,680 As long as you don't mind a little marinara dipping sauce. 198 00:08:36,712 --> 00:08:38,941 That's absolutely disgusting. 199 00:08:38,974 --> 00:08:40,249 And I love it. 200 00:08:40,282 --> 00:08:42,753 You know what? I like date night. 201 00:08:42,786 --> 00:08:44,922 To Natalia, for making it possible. 202 00:08:46,055 --> 00:08:48,058 Pretty sure that's Steve's pee. 203 00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:49,716 Enjoying your wine? 204 00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:57,603 Oh, what an amazing night. 205 00:08:57,635 --> 00:09:00,603 I told you we could have a fun time, just the two of us. 206 00:09:00,637 --> 00:09:02,606 Fun's not over yet. 207 00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:04,287 (MOANING) 208 00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:05,808 PETER: Come on, let's get in the trunk. 209 00:09:05,841 --> 00:09:08,778 I filled it with water so we can do it hippo-style. 210 00:09:08,811 --> 00:09:10,113 Weightlessly, 211 00:09:10,146 --> 00:09:12,782 with my feet lightly scraping the bottom as we do it. 212 00:09:12,816 --> 00:09:15,085 LOIS: Okay. It's kind of sexy, I guess. 213 00:09:15,118 --> 00:09:16,953 PETER: And in the hippo tradition, 214 00:09:16,985 --> 00:09:19,288 first we must eat a whole head of lettuce. 215 00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:23,159 - Now, do you have the lettuce? - I-I didn't know we were doing this. 216 00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:24,794 Did you bring the lettuce? 217 00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:26,129 Oh, no, I forgot. 218 00:09:26,162 --> 00:09:28,297 Ronald, I asked you to do one thing. 219 00:09:28,331 --> 00:09:30,834 Honey, honey... I brought the lettuce. 220 00:09:36,038 --> 00:09:37,439 So thanks to Natalia, 221 00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:39,643 we've been spending so much more time together. 222 00:09:39,676 --> 00:09:42,112 Let me tell you, Joe, it's really been a rediscovery. 223 00:09:42,144 --> 00:09:44,187 - Hmm. - Joe, "we time" 224 00:09:44,221 --> 00:09:47,057 - is just as important as "me time." - Okay. 225 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,418 We've actually been watching The Middle together. 226 00:09:49,451 --> 00:09:52,464 It's so funny! Isn't it funny, Peter? 227 00:09:52,497 --> 00:09:54,490 It is actually funny. At least three times an episode 228 00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,493 we turn to each other and we say, 229 00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:58,195 BOTH: "That's just like us!" 230 00:09:58,228 --> 00:09:59,662 - (LAUGHING) - (LAUGHS) 231 00:09:59,696 --> 00:10:01,031 Why are you laughing? 232 00:10:01,063 --> 00:10:03,532 - It sounded funny. - But you had to be there. 233 00:10:03,566 --> 00:10:05,869 Well, I was able to imagine myself there, 234 00:10:05,902 --> 00:10:07,604 which is why I chuckled. 235 00:10:07,637 --> 00:10:09,940 Oh, and, Donna, have you seen this Black-ish? 236 00:10:09,973 --> 00:10:12,008 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 237 00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:14,109 It seems like you might like it. 238 00:10:14,143 --> 00:10:17,387 Oh, and, waiter, have you seen this Fresh Off the Boat? 239 00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:19,316 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 240 00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:21,017 It seems like you might like it. 241 00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,219 Oh, there's Mort. Mort! 242 00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:24,688 Have you seen this The Goldbergs? 243 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,109 MORT: Yes! I like it 'cause I'm Jewish. 244 00:10:30,259 --> 00:10:33,281 Boy, our friends all seem to be happily married. 245 00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:36,166 - (BOTH LAUGH) - Yeah, right. 246 00:10:36,199 --> 00:10:37,834 You know, Donna told me in the bathroom 247 00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:39,535 she and Cleveland haven't had sex 248 00:10:39,568 --> 00:10:40,703 in over three months. 249 00:10:40,736 --> 00:10:41,904 I love that you share things 250 00:10:41,937 --> 00:10:43,639 that were told to you in confidence. 251 00:10:43,672 --> 00:10:46,142 - Oh, and the poor Swansons. - I know. 252 00:10:46,175 --> 00:10:47,644 Joe's dead from the waist down, 253 00:10:47,677 --> 00:10:49,211 and Bonnie's dead from the waist up. 254 00:10:49,244 --> 00:10:50,580 They're perfect for each other. 255 00:10:50,613 --> 00:10:53,083 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - I know, I know. 256 00:10:53,115 --> 00:10:55,050 I got to say, Peter, I really feel like 257 00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:56,887 Natalia has helped put the spark back 258 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,355 in our relationship. 259 00:10:58,388 --> 00:11:00,763 Yeah, we even had independent movie sex. 260 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:04,827 I want to lean over this half-eaten blueberry pie 261 00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:07,062 and kiss you with black coffee breath. 262 00:11:07,095 --> 00:11:08,750 - Is that okay? - Yes. 263 00:11:12,268 --> 00:11:14,671 Now, can I do you to a song you know, 264 00:11:14,704 --> 00:11:16,106 but sung in German? 265 00:11:17,990 --> 00:11:20,803 ♪ Icht valking un sonshine ♪ 266 00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,344 ♪ Haaa-aah ♪ 267 00:11:22,378 --> 00:11:25,081 ♪ Icht valking un sonshine ♪ 268 00:11:25,114 --> 00:11:26,703 ♪ Haaa-aah ♪ 269 00:11:26,735 --> 00:11:28,250 ♪ Unt it feelin das good. ♪ 270 00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:30,419 (PHONE RINGING) 271 00:11:30,452 --> 00:11:33,889 Hello? I see. 272 00:11:33,922 --> 00:11:35,172 What is it? 273 00:11:35,205 --> 00:11:36,986 I've been assassinated. 274 00:11:46,469 --> 00:11:48,405 Wow, what a night. 275 00:11:48,437 --> 00:11:51,707 I guess someone's sleep number is 69. 276 00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:55,110 Uh, yes. It was, apparently, also number two. 277 00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:57,562 Would you maybe make some coffee and give me a moment? 278 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,716 Car is packed for weekend. 279 00:12:00,749 --> 00:12:02,052 - Weekend? - Yes. 280 00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:03,720 You come in late last night drunk 281 00:12:03,753 --> 00:12:06,256 and tell me to pack car for weekend getaway 282 00:12:06,288 --> 00:12:07,557 you book online. 283 00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:10,560 Then you make me watch Diff'rent Strokes episode 284 00:12:10,592 --> 00:12:14,232 with substitute teacher played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. 285 00:12:14,964 --> 00:12:16,833 You know, I forgot about this weekend trip. 286 00:12:16,865 --> 00:12:18,802 I-Is that something we still want to do? 287 00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:20,336 Well, I do if you do. 288 00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:22,571 Absolutely I do... I-I was just seeing if you do. 289 00:12:22,605 --> 00:12:24,173 Of course I do. 290 00:12:24,206 --> 00:12:26,775 I mean, we've already had six nights out together. 291 00:12:26,808 --> 00:12:28,773 It'd be great to have three more. 292 00:12:28,806 --> 00:12:29,812 That's what I'm saying. 293 00:12:29,845 --> 00:12:31,347 That-That's what any guy wants, 294 00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:34,116 the same gal again and again and again 295 00:12:34,149 --> 00:12:36,485 and again and again and again and again 296 00:12:36,518 --> 00:12:38,989 and again and again and again and again 297 00:12:39,022 --> 00:12:40,924 and again and again, and again. 298 00:12:40,956 --> 00:12:43,292 And every gal wants the same guy who keeps 299 00:12:43,326 --> 00:12:45,961 getting fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter... 300 00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:47,797 Stop it right there, Lois. This is Family Guy. 301 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:49,865 We only do the male side of the joke. 302 00:12:50,841 --> 00:12:53,603 You know what? I think this weekend will be fun. 303 00:12:53,635 --> 00:12:54,970 Yeah. I mean, it's not like we're gonna 304 00:12:55,004 --> 00:12:56,505 miss anything around here. 305 00:13:00,909 --> 00:13:02,444 Hey, Joe, what the hell's going on here? 306 00:13:02,478 --> 00:13:04,647 Oh, you didn't hear? Today is the opening 307 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,816 of the first-ever Spooner Street Farmers Market. 308 00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:10,486 (IN SLOW MOTION): Farmers... 309 00:13:10,519 --> 00:13:13,188 market? 310 00:13:13,221 --> 00:13:14,857 Yeah, it's really exciting. 311 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,992 For 50 cents, you can get your picture taken 312 00:13:17,026 --> 00:13:18,695 wearing a farmer's hat. 313 00:13:18,728 --> 00:13:21,698 (IN SLOW MOTION): Farmer's... 314 00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:24,066 hat? 315 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,036 Hey, have a great weekend, you two. 316 00:13:26,068 --> 00:13:29,405 So glad you're finding time for each other. 317 00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:34,377 Goat meat. 318 00:13:34,409 --> 00:13:36,045 Get your goat meat here. 319 00:13:36,079 --> 00:13:37,547 - Cleveland, are those... - Yep. 320 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,382 I have dibs on whatever silliness 321 00:13:39,414 --> 00:13:41,083 Peter loses interest in. 322 00:13:41,116 --> 00:13:42,251 Remember this? 323 00:13:42,284 --> 00:13:44,420 To the Cleveland copter! 324 00:13:46,388 --> 00:13:48,490 The moustache obscures my view! 325 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,592 (CRIES OUT) 326 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,283 LOIS: Oh, another hawk. 327 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,652 Or maybe it's the same one. 328 00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:03,153 You think it could be the same one? 329 00:14:03,186 --> 00:14:04,241 Doubt it. 330 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:06,322 Hey, do you have the address? 331 00:14:06,355 --> 00:14:08,158 I think it's in my pocketbook somewhere. 332 00:14:08,191 --> 00:14:10,694 'Cause I got to know if we should take 24 or 495. 333 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,072 Hang on. 334 00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:15,225 - Anything? - Hang on. 335 00:14:16,268 --> 00:14:17,602 Exit's coming up. 336 00:14:18,735 --> 00:14:20,163 Half a mile. 337 00:14:22,839 --> 00:14:24,208 - Quarter mile. - (LAUGHS) 338 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,509 You'd think I could find it. 339 00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:26,877 (CHUCKLES): Yeah, yeah, I would. 340 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,645 I would. Okay, I'm taking 495. 341 00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:31,781 Okay, uh, here, let me see if it's... 342 00:14:31,815 --> 00:14:34,852 Oh, this is why I don't like big purses. 343 00:14:34,884 --> 00:14:38,321 Here it is. It says take 24 to 128. 344 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,157 (INHALES DEEPLY) 345 00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:42,193 (EXHALES SLOWLY) 346 00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,936 (WINDSHIELD SQUEAKING) 347 00:14:53,669 --> 00:14:55,672 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 348 00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:00,244 Hey, look, cookies. 349 00:15:00,277 --> 00:15:02,046 - Chocolate chip? - Oatmeal raisin. 350 00:15:02,078 --> 00:15:03,679 (BLEEP) 351 00:15:03,712 --> 00:15:07,083 Ah, I guess they stopped serving dinner at 9:30. 352 00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:09,685 Looks like that missed exit had the last laugh. 353 00:15:09,719 --> 00:15:10,988 Oh, look at this cute note. 354 00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:12,221 "In lieu of television, 355 00:15:12,254 --> 00:15:14,323 please tune in to each other." 356 00:15:14,356 --> 00:15:17,593 - Ha-ha. - Ha-ha, indeed. And get this. 357 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,729 "Sorry no Wi-Fi, but the good news is 358 00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:21,532 your marriage has four bars." 359 00:15:21,565 --> 00:15:23,933 - Terrific. - Oh, here's another note. 360 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,102 "How adorable were those first two notes? 361 00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:27,837 I hope you read this one third." 362 00:15:27,870 --> 00:15:30,073 There's a used condom in the fireplace. 363 00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:31,541 And the fireplace is decorative, 364 00:15:31,575 --> 00:15:32,743 so that's here to stay. 365 00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:34,243 So, do you think word just got out 366 00:15:34,277 --> 00:15:35,846 in the daddy longlegs community, like, 367 00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:37,247 "Hey, come to this hotel"? 368 00:15:37,279 --> 00:15:38,714 Peter, it's a little warm in here. 369 00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:41,051 Do you want to turn on that overhead ceiling fan? 370 00:15:41,084 --> 00:15:42,219 Sure. Looks stable. 371 00:15:45,288 --> 00:15:47,091 - Can you notice that? - Yeah. 372 00:15:47,124 --> 00:15:49,293 Can you notice anything in the world other than that? 373 00:15:49,326 --> 00:15:52,562 Only that fist-sized moth in the lampshade by the bed. 374 00:15:52,596 --> 00:15:55,633 I'm going to bed so that "go home time" comes faster. 375 00:16:06,694 --> 00:16:08,765 I'll just sleep with the light on. 376 00:16:14,116 --> 00:16:16,620 Natalia, will you be our nanny forever? 377 00:16:16,653 --> 00:16:18,821 Dah, unless Belarus security force 378 00:16:18,855 --> 00:16:20,957 - track me down. - I'm sorry, what? 379 00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:22,793 Natalia make a few enemies 380 00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:25,096 before she leave Belarus. 381 00:16:27,831 --> 00:16:30,668 (GUNSHOTS) 382 00:16:32,769 --> 00:16:35,505 Natalia save baby. 383 00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:41,979 - Brian? - Lock door. 384 00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:43,013 Why would I... (CRIES OUT) 385 00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:44,348 Brian! 386 00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:49,353 No kissing. Under bed. 387 00:16:58,127 --> 00:16:59,127 - (BONE CRACKS) - (CRIES OUT) 388 00:16:59,128 --> 00:17:02,365 - (BONES SNAPPING) - Aah! 389 00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:04,802 ♪ ♪ 390 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:08,172 Out. 391 00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,175 Boy, that was a close one. 392 00:17:12,209 --> 00:17:14,211 Ah, my son was in the backseat. 393 00:17:27,022 --> 00:17:28,759 (TIRES SCREECHING) 394 00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:46,410 (ENGINE REVVING) 395 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:52,782 (HEARTBEAT POUNDING) 396 00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:01,591 (TIRES SCREECH) 397 00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:03,927 Daddy? 398 00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:09,098 (GUNFIRE) 399 00:18:13,236 --> 00:18:14,403 Where are we going? 400 00:18:14,436 --> 00:18:15,838 You're going home. 401 00:18:15,872 --> 00:18:17,742 Count to three and pull cord. 402 00:18:17,956 --> 00:18:19,910 (SHOUTING) 403 00:18:19,942 --> 00:18:23,047 I don't know my numbers! 404 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,040 Again! Again! 405 00:18:37,626 --> 00:18:40,596 (SALIVA SMACKING) 406 00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:42,532 - Oh. This. - What? 407 00:18:42,565 --> 00:18:44,067 That mealy-mouth thing you do. 408 00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:45,201 Take a sip of water. 409 00:18:45,234 --> 00:18:46,869 I don't like water. I like pop. 410 00:18:46,903 --> 00:18:48,471 Hey, will you let me know when you're done 411 00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:50,107 using the phone charger that I brought? 412 00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:51,775 Oh, you mean the only thing that you packed? 413 00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:53,442 Yeah, I just assumed if you pay, 414 00:18:53,476 --> 00:18:55,112 - you don't have to pack. - Here we go. 415 00:18:55,144 --> 00:18:56,445 My husband, the Rockefeller, 416 00:18:56,479 --> 00:18:58,448 letting my parents pay for the nanny. 417 00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,950 Kids still lining up around the block 418 00:18:59,982 --> 00:19:01,250 for those piano lessons? 419 00:19:01,284 --> 00:19:02,786 I wonder which has more clutter on it, 420 00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:04,086 the piano or your treadmill. 421 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:05,488 You know what? I'm gonna go with the treadmill. 422 00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:08,090 Really? Let's go knock on the door of the next room 423 00:19:08,124 --> 00:19:09,925 and ask them which one of us is fat. 424 00:19:09,959 --> 00:19:12,262 Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not Bradley Hooper. 425 00:19:12,295 --> 00:19:13,563 It's Cooper, not Hooper. 426 00:19:13,596 --> 00:19:15,731 You're thinking of Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street, 427 00:19:15,765 --> 00:19:17,067 and I'd sooner bang him. 428 00:19:17,099 --> 00:19:19,502 He was a business owner. He was a successful man. 429 00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:21,404 You think you're the only one in this relationship 430 00:19:21,438 --> 00:19:23,006 who wants to be with a successful man? 431 00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,049 Get over yourself. 432 00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:25,509 Oh, hey, do you want these spit droplets back, 433 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:26,809 Or are they for my arm to keep? 434 00:19:26,843 --> 00:19:29,112 Sorry, I was trying to scare that fly on your hand. 435 00:19:29,144 --> 00:19:30,513 Oh, it's a liver spot. Never mind. 436 00:19:30,547 --> 00:19:33,032 I'm hoping it's cancer. I want the ticket out. 437 00:19:33,065 --> 00:19:35,018 Oh, if you die, can I have all of your nothing? 438 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,485 What do you mean if I die? 439 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:38,855 I've been dead since the minute I said "I do"! 440 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,323 Well, the minute you say "I don't," 441 00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:41,590 I am out that door. 442 00:19:41,624 --> 00:19:44,193 - Oh, is that right? - Yep. 443 00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:46,496 Well, what if I just said, "The hell with it, go"? 444 00:19:46,528 --> 00:19:47,680 What if you did? 445 00:19:49,201 --> 00:19:50,333 Go. 446 00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:52,061 Fine! 447 00:19:52,201 --> 00:19:54,171 ("SO FAR AWAY" BY CAROLE KING PLAYING) 448 00:19:54,203 --> 00:19:57,956 ♪ ♪ 449 00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:01,878 ♪ So far away ♪ 450 00:20:01,911 --> 00:20:04,147 ♪ Doesn't anybody stay ♪ 451 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:07,518 ♪ In one place anymore? ♪ 452 00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:10,854 ♪ It would be so fine ♪ 453 00:20:10,886 --> 00:20:14,825 ♪ To see your face at my door ♪ 454 00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:17,860 ♪ It doesn't help to know ♪ 455 00:20:17,894 --> 00:20:21,832 ♪ You're just time away ♪ 456 00:20:21,865 --> 00:20:25,501 ♪ Long ago I reached for you ♪ 457 00:20:25,535 --> 00:20:29,038 ♪ And there you stood ♪ 458 00:20:29,072 --> 00:20:32,342 ♪ Holding you again could only ♪ 459 00:20:32,374 --> 00:20:35,679 ♪ Do me good ♪ 460 00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:37,814 ♪ How I wish I could ♪ 461 00:20:37,846 --> 00:20:39,482 ♪ But you're so ♪ 462 00:20:39,516 --> 00:20:42,052 ♪ Far ♪ 463 00:20:42,085 --> 00:20:44,587 ♪ Away. ♪ 464 00:20:46,422 --> 00:20:48,025 So, how was the trip? 465 00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:51,475 (BOTH LAUGHING) 466 00:20:56,432 --> 00:20:57,468 PETER: Just terrible.