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It's...
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♪
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00:00:49,063 --> 00:00:53,063
♪ Family Guy 11x09 ♪
Space Cadet
Original Air Date on January 6, 2013
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00:00:53,089 --> 00:00:58,089
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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00:01:03,719 --> 00:01:06,404
Chris, would you like
to read your personal essay?
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00:01:06,439 --> 00:01:08,039
Okay, Mrs. Donovan.
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00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:12,377
"Following Mrs. Donovan"
by Chris Griffin.
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00:01:12,411 --> 00:01:14,562
"The first thing that
Mrs. Donovan does
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00:01:14,597 --> 00:01:16,264
"when she gets
home from school
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00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:17,716
"is put on sweatpants.
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00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:20,001
"Then she eats a whole
tube of cookie dough,
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00:01:20,035 --> 00:01:21,669
"but she must be
allergic to it
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00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:23,822
"because there are tears
coming out of her eyes
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00:01:23,856 --> 00:01:25,857
"and she always
throws up right after.
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00:01:25,891 --> 00:01:27,675
"Then she puts
paper doll clothes
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00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:29,444
on a picture
of a sonogram."
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00:01:29,478 --> 00:01:30,779
Chris, I think
you should stop.
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00:01:30,813 --> 00:01:32,947
What? I'm doing
the best I can.
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00:01:32,982 --> 00:01:34,883
I'm not Nathaniel
Hawthorne.
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00:01:36,919 --> 00:01:38,670
Nathaniel,
what are you doing?
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00:01:38,704 --> 00:01:41,072
Just ruining ninth
grade for everyone.
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Mr. and Mrs. Griffin,
I called you in today
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00:01:46,212 --> 00:01:47,712
because your son, Chris,
has been getting
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00:01:47,747 --> 00:01:49,414
in quite a bit of
trouble lately.
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00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:51,933
In fact, just yesterday,
he tried to pass
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00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:55,270
this drawing off
as his Advanced Art project.
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00:01:55,304 --> 00:01:57,505
Oh, my.
I'm very embarrassed.
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00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,007
Well, someone should be.
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00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:00,408
I'm sorry,
Principal Shepherd.
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00:02:00,443 --> 00:02:02,343
We've tried talking
to Chris.
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00:02:02,378 --> 00:02:04,012
We just don't know
what else to do.
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00:02:04,046 --> 00:02:05,847
Well, I think we may
have a solution.
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00:02:05,881 --> 00:02:07,982
We have these cats that
hang around the school,
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00:02:08,017 --> 00:02:09,250
and we feed them.
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00:02:09,285 --> 00:02:10,552
Why doesn't
Chris come in,
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00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:12,637
and we can treat him
like one of the cats?
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00:02:12,671 --> 00:02:14,889
And in a couple of years,
we'll give him a diploma.
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00:02:14,924 --> 00:02:16,090
That doesn't
sound like
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00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,358
he'll be getting
the best education.
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00:02:17,393 --> 00:02:18,526
I don't know, Lois.
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00:02:18,561 --> 00:02:20,945
Some of those cats go on
to get pretty good jobs.
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00:02:22,281 --> 00:02:24,199
Yep.
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00:02:27,453 --> 00:02:29,888
We now return to Breaking Bad.
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00:02:31,223 --> 00:02:33,458
You will recommend
Breaking Bad
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00:02:33,492 --> 00:02:35,226
to everyone you know.
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00:02:35,261 --> 00:02:38,296
I will recommend Breaking Bad
to everyone I know.
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00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:41,166
Breaking Bad is the best show
you've ever seen,
48
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,901
except maybe The Wire.
49
00:02:42,935 --> 00:02:45,603
Breaking Bad
is the best show I've ever seen,
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00:02:45,638 --> 00:02:47,272
except maybe The Wire.
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00:02:47,306 --> 00:02:48,706
You will never stop talking
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00:02:48,741 --> 00:02:51,009
about Breaking Bad
or The Wire.
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00:02:51,043 --> 00:02:55,013
I will never stop talking
about Breaking Bad or The Wire.
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00:02:55,047 --> 00:02:57,098
Peter, I'm really
worried about Chris.
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00:02:57,132 --> 00:02:59,017
What are we going
to do about him?
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00:03:00,686 --> 00:03:01,753
What the hell happened
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00:03:01,787 --> 00:03:03,454
to all the smart genes
in this family?
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00:03:03,489 --> 00:03:05,306
I mean, I invent
the razor blade comb,
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00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:06,658
and my kids
are doing nothing.
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00:03:06,692 --> 00:03:08,960
I mean, when Chris grows
up, will he even be able
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00:03:08,994 --> 00:03:11,095
to get a job or take
care of himself?
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00:03:11,130 --> 00:03:13,331
And what's he going
to do when we die?
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00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:18,169
♪ Ooga chaka, ooga ooga,
ooga chaka... ♪
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00:03:18,204 --> 00:03:21,406
♪ I can't stop
this feeling ♪
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00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:25,143
♪ Deep inside
of me... ♪
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00:03:25,177 --> 00:03:26,778
I feel awful
saying it,
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00:03:26,812 --> 00:03:29,180
but I'm kind of embarrassed
by him sometimes.
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00:03:29,215 --> 00:03:31,082
I know, and he's
got boobs, too.
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00:03:31,116 --> 00:03:32,684
Stupid guy with boobs.
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00:03:32,718 --> 00:03:34,402
Acting like he
doesn't want us to look.
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00:03:34,436 --> 00:03:35,737
He wants us to look.
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00:03:35,771 --> 00:03:37,105
Stop making fun of me!
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00:03:38,307 --> 00:03:40,675
I just wanted to listen
to you guys have sex,
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00:03:40,709 --> 00:03:43,344
but you were saying
mean things about me.
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00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:44,646
Chris!
Oh, my God.
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00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,798
No, we weren't
talking about you.
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00:03:46,832 --> 00:03:48,383
Yeah, we were talking
about Meg.
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00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:50,285
We call her Chris
so she doesn't know.
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you!
Shut up, Chris!
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I know that's not true.
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00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,158
Oh, God.
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00:03:57,192 --> 00:03:59,010
Peter, he heard us
call him stupid.
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00:03:59,044 --> 00:04:00,278
His own parents.
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00:04:00,312 --> 00:04:01,579
What have we done?
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00:04:01,614 --> 00:04:02,680
Well, you know, Lois,
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00:04:02,715 --> 00:04:03,982
it's never easy
hearing the truth.
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00:04:04,016 --> 00:04:05,800
Especially from
a fortune cookie.
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00:04:09,738 --> 00:04:11,072
What does it
say, Peter?
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00:04:11,106 --> 00:04:12,824
Uh, just something
about perseverance.
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00:04:12,858 --> 00:04:14,108
What does yours say?
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00:04:14,143 --> 00:04:16,010
It says I'm
very creative.
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00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:27,238
Oh, by the way, there's a baby
in my preschool with HIV,
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00:04:27,273 --> 00:04:29,073
and my teacher gave you
something to sign
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00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:30,408
to get him kicked out.
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00:04:30,442 --> 00:04:32,377
Hey, Chris!
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00:04:32,411 --> 00:04:34,345
There's my big, smart son.
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00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,347
My special guy,
my Chrissy.
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00:04:36,382 --> 00:04:39,550
Sounds like someone got her
vibrator working again.
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00:04:39,618 --> 00:04:40,952
Oh, look out, everyone.
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00:04:40,986 --> 00:04:43,288
Double-digit IQ
joining the table.
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00:04:43,322 --> 00:04:45,123
Hey, smarty, think fast.
Aah!
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00:04:45,157 --> 00:04:47,208
He knows.
He knows it's hot.
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00:04:47,242 --> 00:04:48,509
'Cause he's smart.
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00:04:48,544 --> 00:04:50,178
I don't want
to talk to you guys.
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00:04:50,212 --> 00:04:51,512
You called me
an idiot.
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00:04:51,547 --> 00:04:53,548
Oh, Chris, you must
have just misheard us.
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00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:54,983
I was standing
right there.
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00:04:55,017 --> 00:04:56,451
How is that
possible?
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00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:57,581
'Cause you're an idiot--
that's how.
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00:04:57,606 --> 00:04:58,220
Peter!
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00:04:58,221 --> 00:05:00,955
I'm going
to school!
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00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:02,390
It's Sunday,
right?
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00:05:02,424 --> 00:05:05,059
Peter, we've completely
destroyed his self-esteem.
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00:05:05,094 --> 00:05:06,894
We've got to
do something.
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00:05:06,929 --> 00:05:08,813
You know, Lois, if Chris is
having confidence issues,
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00:05:08,847 --> 00:05:10,264
they have camps
for kids like him.
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00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:11,549
What do you mean?
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00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:13,301
Well, they take kids
who struggle in school
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00:05:13,335 --> 00:05:14,602
and help them gain
self-confidence
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00:05:14,637 --> 00:05:16,104
in a nurturing
environment.
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00:05:16,138 --> 00:05:18,373
Wow. That's actually
a great idea.
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00:05:18,407 --> 00:05:19,857
We don't got
no money for camp.
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00:05:19,892 --> 00:05:21,359
We're saving up
to go to Europe.
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00:05:21,393 --> 00:05:23,494
Peter, we went to Europe.
You didn't like it.
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00:05:23,529 --> 00:05:25,079
Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
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00:05:25,114 --> 00:05:27,048
My TV isn't here.
Let's go home.
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00:05:30,519 --> 00:05:33,388
We now return
to Canadian Horror Story.
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00:05:33,422 --> 00:05:35,356
Hey, hon, we're
out of Molson.
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00:05:35,391 --> 00:05:36,624
Oh, not to worry.
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00:05:36,659 --> 00:05:38,326
We've got some Labatt's
in the garage.
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00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,094
And could you get one
for the ghost?
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00:05:40,129 --> 00:05:41,412
Boo, eh?
133
00:05:41,447 --> 00:05:43,982
Hey, Chris,
could we talk to you?
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00:05:44,016 --> 00:05:46,617
If you're going to insult me
again, just go away.
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00:05:46,652 --> 00:05:48,219
Look, honey, we're sorry,
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00:05:48,253 --> 00:05:50,121
and we want to do
something special for you.
137
00:05:50,155 --> 00:05:51,395
This is a Hamilton
Beach blender
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00:05:51,407 --> 00:05:52,707
we got on our
wedding day.
139
00:05:52,741 --> 00:05:54,008
It keeps coming
back to us
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00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:55,176
in a vicious
regifting cycle.
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00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:56,511
No, Peter.
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00:05:56,545 --> 00:05:58,413
Chris, we were thinking
of sending you to camp.
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00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:01,332
And we're going to let
you choose which one.
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00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:03,334
This one's called
Camp Helmet.
145
00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:05,737
This one's called
Camp Sit 'N' Stay.
146
00:06:05,771 --> 00:06:07,772
These camps
don't sound fun at all.
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00:06:07,806 --> 00:06:10,108
Well, Chris, camp is only
as fun as you make it.
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00:06:10,142 --> 00:06:12,143
That's how it was
in World War II.
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00:06:13,178 --> 00:06:14,379
Don't suppose
it would help
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00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:16,381
to say I have a note
from my doctor.
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00:06:16,415 --> 00:06:18,716
Get in there, you.
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00:06:18,751 --> 00:06:20,268
Hey, this one
looks cool.
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00:06:20,302 --> 00:06:21,602
Space Camp.
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00:06:21,637 --> 00:06:24,238
"Spend a week doing
intensive math and science,
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00:06:24,273 --> 00:06:25,773
learning from
real astronauts."
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00:06:25,808 --> 00:06:27,075
Space Camp?
157
00:06:27,109 --> 00:06:28,643
I'm sorry,
that one must have
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00:06:28,677 --> 00:06:30,611
accidentally gotten in
with the rest of them.
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00:06:30,646 --> 00:06:33,014
What are you saying?
That I'm too stupid for it?
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00:06:33,065 --> 00:06:34,132
Chris, we're over here.
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00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:35,383
What are you saying?
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00:06:35,417 --> 00:06:37,001
That I'm too
stupid for it?
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00:06:37,036 --> 00:06:38,786
No, no,
of course not.
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Then this is the camp I choose.
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00:06:41,056 --> 00:06:43,257
Yay! I get to go
to Space Camp!
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00:06:43,292 --> 00:06:44,826
Thanks, Mom and Dad.
167
00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:47,445
You guys are
the best parents ever!
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00:06:47,479 --> 00:06:49,647
Would you excuse
me a moment?
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00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:53,167
These are mine now.
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00:06:53,202 --> 00:06:54,368
Hey!
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00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,020
Oh, honey, when we
accepted those mugs,
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00:06:56,055 --> 00:06:57,555
we knew this
could happen.
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00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,733
You know, Chris,
it's not too late
174
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:08,501
to change your mind
about Space Camp.
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00:07:08,536 --> 00:07:10,403
Sometimes it can be
tough to fit in
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00:07:10,438 --> 00:07:11,771
with a new group
of people.
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00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,039
Yeah, I sure
had my troubles
178
00:07:13,074 --> 00:07:14,975
when I got involved
with the Boy Scouts.
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00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:16,576
At no time were
the campers
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00:07:16,611 --> 00:07:18,678
and Mr. Griffin naked
simultaneously.
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00:07:18,713 --> 00:07:20,814
They merely engaged
in horseplay.
182
00:07:20,848 --> 00:07:22,949
Did Mr. Griffin
sodomize the boys?
183
00:07:24,468 --> 00:07:27,070
Mr. Griffin vehemently
denies all allegations.
184
00:07:27,104 --> 00:07:28,838
Mom, I can handle
Space Camp.
185
00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:30,373
I'm not stupid.
186
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,808
Well, regardless,
on the way back,
187
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,277
we're stopping at that Down
syndrome camp we passed.
188
00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:36,546
Peter, that was
the University of Florida.
189
00:07:41,435 --> 00:07:43,503
Welcome to Space Camp.
190
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:45,839
Hi. We're here to register
our son, Chris Griffin.
191
00:07:45,873 --> 00:07:47,707
Oh, great to
meet you, Chris.
192
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:49,476
Hey, this kid means
the world to me.
193
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,877
Keep an eye on him, huh?
194
00:07:52,964 --> 00:07:54,180
Hey, what's that?
I thought all
195
00:07:54,215 --> 00:07:55,382
the space shuttles
were decommissioned.
196
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:57,384
Well, we always keep one
spacecraft flight-ready
197
00:07:57,418 --> 00:07:59,119
in the event a satellite
needs service,
198
00:07:59,153 --> 00:08:00,587
there's a space
station emergency
199
00:08:00,621 --> 00:08:03,323
or an Italian guy needs
to overexaggerate.
200
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,909
I swear to God, Johnny,
I've had it up to...
201
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,934
...here with your BS.
202
00:08:14,969 --> 00:08:16,903
Ooh, he's really
had it this time.
203
00:08:16,937 --> 00:08:18,471
I'm sorry, Louie!
204
00:08:18,506 --> 00:08:19,839
All right, then.
205
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,207
Hey, what's that
in there?
206
00:08:21,242 --> 00:08:23,026
That's a sensory
deprivation room
207
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,244
that prepares
our astronauts
208
00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:25,945
for the terrifying
emptiness of space.
209
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:27,213
Oh, cool.
210
00:08:27,248 --> 00:08:29,849
Hey, come on, Brian,
try it with me.
211
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,038
Things got crazy
so fast.
212
00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:38,274
Bye, Chris.
Good luck.
213
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,542
Take care, Chris.
214
00:08:39,577 --> 00:08:42,045
Oh, and hey, if you get
sent off on a space mission,
215
00:08:42,079 --> 00:08:44,481
um, don't be the black guy,
'cause you'll die.
216
00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:45,982
I know you're going
to have fun
217
00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:47,517
and make lots
of good friends.
218
00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:48,785
Yeah, and not
fake friends,
219
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,787
like guys
whose wives are friends.
220
00:08:51,972 --> 00:08:53,573
You have to get me
that recipe.
221
00:08:53,607 --> 00:08:55,108
Oh, my God,
the cookbook?
222
00:08:55,142 --> 00:08:57,410
It's right in
the kitchen.
223
00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,312
Sports?
No.
224
00:08:59,347 --> 00:09:01,247
Movies?
No.
225
00:09:01,282 --> 00:09:03,383
Hiking?
No.
226
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,684
Cars?
No.
227
00:09:04,719 --> 00:09:05,852
Porn?
Porn?
228
00:09:05,886 --> 00:09:07,020
Yes!
Yes!
229
00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:08,388
Gay porn?
No.
230
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,793
Welcome to Space Camp,
everyone.
231
00:09:13,828 --> 00:09:15,528
Be sure to grab
your physics textbooks.
232
00:09:15,563 --> 00:09:17,230
And you may want to brush up
233
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:19,299
for tomorrow's lecture
on orbital dynamics.
234
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,768
Oh, man. I don't belong here,
and they know it.
235
00:09:21,802 --> 00:09:23,903
People can always sense a fraud.
236
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,772
Gentlemen, it has come
to my attention
237
00:09:25,806 --> 00:09:27,507
that there's
a Chinese among us.
238
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:29,509
Rest assured, he will be found.
239
00:09:29,543 --> 00:09:31,444
Security is launching
a full-scale investigation
240
00:09:31,479 --> 00:09:32,929
into the
genealogy records
241
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,881
of every single one
of our employees.
242
00:09:34,915 --> 00:09:36,332
This man will be found,
243
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,551
and there will be
dire consequences.
244
00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:41,671
Too bad about
that Chinese guy, huh?
245
00:09:43,407 --> 00:09:44,908
Campers, we are now in
246
00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:46,643
our state-of-the-art
space shuttle simulator.
247
00:09:46,677 --> 00:09:48,578
Hey, you're a girl.
I just figured that out.
248
00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:50,180
By the time you
leave Space Camp,
249
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:51,481
you will all be familiar
250
00:09:51,515 --> 00:09:53,516
with every device
on board this craft.
251
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,951
What's this button do?
252
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,920
Why don't you go
ahead and push it?
253
00:09:58,756 --> 00:10:00,356
That's my band.
254
00:10:02,693 --> 00:10:05,795
Okay, campers, let's see
your astronaut haircuts.
255
00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:07,263
Mm-hmm.
256
00:10:07,298 --> 00:10:09,132
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
257
00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:10,834
Chris, that's
a Russell Brand haircut.
258
00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:12,502
Oy, I don't know
what happened.
259
00:10:12,536 --> 00:10:14,137
I went to me barber
at the shop,
260
00:10:14,171 --> 00:10:15,805
and I come out,
I'm looking like this.
261
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,707
You're talking
different from how I talk.
262
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,009
Here's a bunch of money
to be on TV.
263
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,848
If you all saw Apollo 13,
you know they had to fix
264
00:10:24,882 --> 00:10:27,383
an air scrubber with just
the tools in the capsule.
265
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,353
Griffin, I need you to use
these tools to fix my marriage.
266
00:10:30,387 --> 00:10:31,621
I can't do that.
267
00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:34,090
Well, I can't be
the only one who's trying.
268
00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:42,415
Hello?
269
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:44,751
Oh, my God, Chris.
What's wrong?
270
00:10:44,785 --> 00:10:46,152
Mom, I hate it here.
271
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,620
I want to come home.
272
00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:48,855
All the kids are mean,
273
00:10:48,889 --> 00:10:50,657
and I keep messing
everything up.
274
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,026
Even Jinx the Robot
is picking on me.
275
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:56,496
Hey, you've got
something on your shirt.
276
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:05,205
Joke complete.
277
00:11:05,239 --> 00:11:06,723
You and dad were right.
278
00:11:06,757 --> 00:11:08,825
I'm not smart enough
to be here.
279
00:11:08,859 --> 00:11:10,860
Can you come get me,
please, Mom?
280
00:11:10,895 --> 00:11:13,129
Okay, honey, of
course we will.
281
00:11:13,164 --> 00:11:15,098
Hang on, I got
another call.
282
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,366
Hello?
283
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,101
Lois, I'm at the gym.
284
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,402
I hate it here.
285
00:11:19,436 --> 00:11:20,870
I want to come home.
286
00:11:20,905 --> 00:11:22,305
Everybody's so mean.
287
00:11:22,339 --> 00:11:24,574
And there's this one guy
who follows me around
288
00:11:24,608 --> 00:11:25,875
and calls me fat.
289
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,844
Well, I suppose I...
290
00:11:27,878 --> 00:11:29,679
Hang on, honey, I'm
getting another call.
291
00:11:29,713 --> 00:11:30,680
Hello?
292
00:11:30,714 --> 00:11:31,881
Hey, is fat ass
home yet?
293
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:33,600
Put him on,
I want to talk to him.
294
00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:39,372
Thanks for coming
to get me, you guys.
295
00:11:39,406 --> 00:11:40,540
Hey, no problem.
296
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,826
We spent thousands of dollars
to send you here
297
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,961
and made two trips
to Florida in four days.
298
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,696
I'm glad we had you.
299
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,882
Well, I'm sorry, I thought
I could handle it here,
300
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,083
but I was wrong.
301
00:11:50,117 --> 00:11:52,485
That's okay, honey,
everyone makes mistakes.
302
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,321
Yeah, remember when the fat man
brought home that cougar chick?
303
00:11:55,356 --> 00:11:56,890
You make yourself
comfortable, Beth.
304
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,141
I'll be right back.
305
00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,309
Hi, young man.
306
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,460
I'm looking for
a good time.
307
00:12:00,494 --> 00:12:01,628
Uh-huh.
308
00:12:01,662 --> 00:12:03,229
I'm worldly. I'm fun.
309
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,098
This ain't mileage,
this is experience.
310
00:12:05,132 --> 00:12:06,232
Not interested.
311
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,201
Listen, just so there
are no surprises,
312
00:12:08,235 --> 00:12:09,769
don't be scared--
my stuff looks like
313
00:12:09,803 --> 00:12:11,738
someone spilled an
apple pie in my lap.
314
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:13,573
Yuck.
315
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,608
Didn't you have any
fun at all, sweetie?
316
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,244
Well, I guess I did get to go
on the space shuttle everyday.
317
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,512
Really? No way.
318
00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:22,315
I always wanted to be an
astronaut like Lance Armstrong.
319
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,150
It's Neil Armstrong.
320
00:12:24,184 --> 00:12:26,252
He lied about his name, too?
321
00:12:31,742 --> 00:12:33,776
Wow, this
is amazing, Chris.
322
00:12:33,811 --> 00:12:34,777
Look at this, Lois.
323
00:12:34,812 --> 00:12:36,279
a week ago,
we call him stupid,
324
00:12:36,313 --> 00:12:38,414
and now he's giving tours
of the space shuttle.
325
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:40,550
Negative reinforcement--
that's the key.
326
00:12:40,584 --> 00:12:41,718
Right, stupid?
327
00:12:41,752 --> 00:12:43,720
Ow! I'll
do better.
328
00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:45,855
So, do you know how
all this stuff works?
329
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,674
Well, I don't know what
most of these buttons do,
330
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:50,426
but I know this big red one
is the one you press to launch.
331
00:12:50,461 --> 00:12:51,728
Whoo, big red button!
332
00:12:51,762 --> 00:12:52,779
Stewie, no!
333
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,301
Uh-oh.
334
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,519
Chris, make it stop.
335
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,687
I'm trying.
336
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,078
I think...
I think we're launching.
337
00:13:09,113 --> 00:13:11,331
Oh, my God, everyone
strap yourselves in.
338
00:13:11,365 --> 00:13:12,448
Stewie, hold my hand.
339
00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:14,033
No, thank you,
I prefer to die
340
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,318
giving you the finger.
341
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,338
If this is what it takes
to get out of Florida, fine.
342
00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,509
You know what,
you only live once.
343
00:13:23,544 --> 00:13:25,261
I am sticking my head
out the window.
344
00:13:25,296 --> 00:13:27,931
Yes, this is the best version
345
00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:30,350
of whatever's so enjoyable
about this.
346
00:13:36,331 --> 00:13:37,764
Mom, I'm scared.
347
00:13:37,799 --> 00:13:38,866
I don't believe it.
348
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,100
Are we really
stuck in space?
349
00:13:40,134 --> 00:13:42,319
Oh, God, what if we
have to live up here
350
00:13:42,353 --> 00:13:43,854
for the rest
of our lives?
351
00:13:43,888 --> 00:13:45,389
I'm gonna miss
drinking at The Clam.
352
00:13:45,423 --> 00:13:46,703
I'll tell you what I won't miss.
353
00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:48,659
That waiter who thinks
he has to be funny.
354
00:13:48,693 --> 00:13:50,477
Yes, I'd like the
chopped salad, please,
355
00:13:50,512 --> 00:13:52,279
and could I get
no onions on that?
356
00:13:52,313 --> 00:13:55,148
Hmm, I've got a few connections
in the back.
357
00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:56,483
I'll see what I can do.
358
00:13:56,518 --> 00:13:57,618
Yeah, that's funny.
359
00:13:57,652 --> 00:13:59,286
If there's one onion
on that salad,
360
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,922
you can forget the $1.80
tip you need to live.
361
00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:04,825
I'm sorry, you guys,
this is all my fault.
362
00:14:04,859 --> 00:14:07,094
I never should've brought you
on the space shuttle.
363
00:14:07,128 --> 00:14:09,530
You were right--
I am stupid.
364
00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:11,765
Hello, up there.
Hello?
365
00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:14,101
I know you all must be pretty
terrified right now,
366
00:14:14,135 --> 00:14:15,569
but we're doing everything
in our power
367
00:14:15,603 --> 00:14:17,271
to get you safely back to earth.
368
00:14:17,305 --> 00:14:19,473
We're pretty good at this--
we're like six for eight.
369
00:14:19,507 --> 00:14:21,141
Is there anything
we can do?
370
00:14:21,175 --> 00:14:23,510
Well, fortunately
the ship runs on autopilot.
371
00:14:23,545 --> 00:14:25,512
We just need some time to figure
out your coordinates,
372
00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:27,147
and calculate the reentry plan.
373
00:14:27,181 --> 00:14:29,583
So, just try to stay calm
and we'll figure this all out.
374
00:14:29,617 --> 00:14:31,952
By the way,
you're all quite famous now.
375
00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:33,554
You're on every news channel.
376
00:14:33,588 --> 00:14:35,222
Good afternoon,
I'm Brian Williams.
377
00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:38,191
Our top story, an accidental
space shuttle launch
378
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:40,761
that has sent a Rhode Island
family into orbit.
379
00:14:40,795 --> 00:14:43,030
For more on the story,
we go to our local affiliate
380
00:14:43,064 --> 00:14:45,566
Channel Five Quahog where
Tom Tucker is on the scene.
381
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,567
Tom?
382
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:47,768
Thanks, Brian.
383
00:14:47,802 --> 00:14:49,670
I, uh, saw that you opened
my birthday Evite.
384
00:14:49,704 --> 00:14:52,205
Now I just need you
to go ahead and reply.
385
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,341
I'm standing here at the home
of the Griffin family,
386
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:55,609
chatting with their neighbors.
387
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,277
So, the Griffins
might be dead.
388
00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:58,445
How does that
make you feel?
389
00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:01,131
Griffin dead?
I take.
390
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:05,269
No, no, they
might be dead.
391
00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:06,870
They also might
still be alive.
392
00:15:06,904 --> 00:15:08,872
It's okay, I-I take.
393
00:15:19,317 --> 00:15:20,901
Peter, what are you doing?
394
00:15:20,935 --> 00:15:22,552
I'm going out for
a space walk, Lois.
395
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,037
You know, this
is our one chance
396
00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:26,173
to experience the
awe-inspiring wonders
397
00:15:26,207 --> 00:15:27,924
of space firsthand.
398
00:15:31,863 --> 00:15:34,131
Wow, neat.
399
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:36,166
So, this is space.
400
00:15:43,091 --> 00:15:45,075
Damn it.
401
00:15:49,563 --> 00:15:52,199
Ha! Stupid drunk bitches.
402
00:15:54,652 --> 00:15:55,786
Hey, Brian, check it out.
403
00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,554
Meg's poking
around the cargo hold.
404
00:15:57,588 --> 00:15:59,456
I'm gonna give her
a little scare.
405
00:16:11,085 --> 00:16:13,487
Aw, boy, I think
this space food has gone bad.
406
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:15,238
Peter, that's a
fecal collection bag.
407
00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:16,473
Oh, there's a bag for that?
408
00:16:16,524 --> 00:16:18,108
'Cause mine's over there
twirling in the air
409
00:16:18,142 --> 00:16:19,626
like a slow baton.
410
00:16:19,661 --> 00:16:22,612
Well, someone's got to lead
this marching band. Ew!
411
00:16:22,647 --> 00:16:23,864
Griffins come in.
412
00:16:23,898 --> 00:16:25,632
Yes! Yes, we're here.
413
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:27,167
Well, I have some good news.
414
00:16:27,201 --> 00:16:29,936
The autopilot is capable
of taking you home.
415
00:16:29,971 --> 00:16:31,204
But guys...
416
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:32,673
...to engage, we're gonna...
417
00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:34,207
...to take the shuttle out of...
418
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:37,044
Hello?
419
00:16:37,078 --> 00:16:39,212
Hello?
Crap, I think we lost him.
420
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:40,547
Let me fix that.
421
00:16:40,581 --> 00:16:43,133
If radio deejays have taught me
anything about radio,
422
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:44,468
it's that you got
to do two things.
423
00:16:44,502 --> 00:16:46,670
Turn it up and rip the knob off.
424
00:16:46,721 --> 00:16:48,455
Peter, no!
425
00:16:48,489 --> 00:16:50,374
Damn it, now we've lost
communication entirely.
426
00:16:50,408 --> 00:16:51,608
What are we gonna do?
427
00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:53,226
I don't know,
but we got to try something.
428
00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:54,761
If we don't get this shuttle
out of orbit soon,
429
00:16:54,795 --> 00:16:56,563
we're gonna
run out of oxygen and die.
430
00:16:56,597 --> 00:16:57,714
Is failure an option?
431
00:16:57,749 --> 00:16:58,899
No, it's not.
432
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:00,434
Aw, that was my suggestion.
433
00:17:00,468 --> 00:17:02,169
All right, come on, everyone,
we got to put our heads
434
00:17:02,203 --> 00:17:03,437
together
and try to find a solution.
435
00:17:03,471 --> 00:17:05,305
Don't worry-- Griffins
have a long history
436
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:06,473
of figuring stuff out.
437
00:17:06,507 --> 00:17:07,808
Like my great-grandfather
438
00:17:07,842 --> 00:17:09,609
who invented the
first marital aid.
439
00:17:12,246 --> 00:17:14,448
This gives me an idea.
440
00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:18,785
She's dead.
441
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:23,123
All right, come on,
if mission control thought
442
00:17:23,157 --> 00:17:24,491
we could help get the shuttle
out of orbit,
443
00:17:24,509 --> 00:17:25,692
it can't be that hard.
444
00:17:25,727 --> 00:17:27,043
Okay, okay,
uh, try this.
445
00:17:27,095 --> 00:17:28,595
Hit up, up, down, down,
446
00:17:28,629 --> 00:17:30,847
left, right, left, right,
B, A, start.
447
00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:32,132
Then we'll have
unlimited lives.
448
00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:33,884
Come on,
we're running out of time.
449
00:17:33,935 --> 00:17:36,036
Oh, Meg, all your suicide
threats over the years,
450
00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:38,838
and you're just as chicken
as the rest of us.
451
00:17:38,856 --> 00:17:41,725
Hey, guys, I think I have
an idea that could help us.
452
00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:44,244
In Space Camp, we learned about
countering forward momentum
453
00:17:44,278 --> 00:17:45,862
with retro rockets.
454
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:48,498
If we use them now,
the ship might slow down enough
455
00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:51,184
for gravity
to pull us out of orbit.
456
00:17:51,219 --> 00:17:54,237
That's an egg that I
hucked at you for being a nerd.
457
00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:58,125
Chris, if you think it'll help,
just try it!
458
00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:04,514
Ah, we're slowing down.
That's a good sign.
459
00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:06,516
You know, what's not slowing
down-- Breaking Bad.
460
00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:08,735
Haven't seen anything like it
since The Wire.
461
00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:10,754
God, he never shuts up
about those shows.
462
00:18:10,788 --> 00:18:11,888
Oh, my God!
463
00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,706
I think it might be working!
464
00:18:15,226 --> 00:18:16,876
We're spinning out!
465
00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:21,314
Oh, my God,
we're gonna die!
466
00:18:21,349 --> 00:18:22,933
There's so many things
I didn't do.
467
00:18:22,984 --> 00:18:24,568
I never got to go to college!
468
00:18:24,602 --> 00:18:27,154
My book wasn't all
I wanted it to be in spots!
469
00:18:27,188 --> 00:18:29,389
Peter, I wanted to
grow old with you!
470
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:30,941
Well, you kind of did.
471
00:18:30,992 --> 00:18:32,976
I never got to wear it better!
472
00:18:36,747 --> 00:18:39,732
I have to reorient
the retro rockets
473
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:41,952
to counter the spin rotation!
474
00:19:02,273 --> 00:19:03,423
Chris, what are you doing?
475
00:19:03,441 --> 00:19:05,091
Saving our lives.
476
00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:06,776
Aw, I wish he
hadn't said that.
477
00:19:06,811 --> 00:19:08,478
Now I'm kind of
rooting against him.
478
00:19:12,033 --> 00:19:13,900
We're straightening out!
479
00:19:15,436 --> 00:19:17,320
Ah, look! It says
"autopilot engaged."
480
00:19:17,371 --> 00:19:19,823
Good for him.
I'm glad he found someone.
481
00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:21,591
Oh, thank God,
we're saved!
482
00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:25,095
I can't believe I got to go
to space before Derek Watson.
483
00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:26,496
Who's Derek Watson?
484
00:19:26,531 --> 00:19:28,081
Nobody now.
485
00:19:43,731 --> 00:19:45,565
They've re-entered
the atmosphere!
486
00:19:48,135 --> 00:19:50,687
I'm not cheering.
I don't even know them.
487
00:20:17,598 --> 00:20:19,549
Well, thanks to
no gravity in space,
488
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,636
my spine stretched and I am
now a confident six, three,
489
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:25,655
so, Lois, I will be leaving you
for a hotter woman.
490
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:28,425
Never mind, Lois,
I love you so much.
491
00:20:31,929 --> 00:20:34,965
Chris, our family is alive
right now because of you.
492
00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:36,232
You saved us.
493
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:37,417
That's right, buddy.
494
00:20:37,451 --> 00:20:39,486
It was your brains
that pulled us through.
495
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,805
We're so sorry
we ever doubted you.
496
00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:43,039
Thanks, you guys.
497
00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:44,207
You bet, champ.
498
00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:46,343
Hey, by the way,
who moved our house?
499
00:20:46,377 --> 00:20:51,377
== sync, corrected by elderman ==