1
00:00:01,177 --> 00:00:04,647
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,648 --> 00:00:07,950
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,001 --> 00:00:11,420
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,487 --> 00:00:14,373
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,457 --> 00:00:17,993
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,044 --> 00:00:21,180
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,247 --> 00:00:22,414
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:23,732
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,001
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:30,052
♪ Family Guy 10x17 ♪
Forget-Me-Not
Original Air Date on March 18, 2012
11
00:00:30,077 --> 00:00:34,077
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:35,306 --> 00:00:36,569
All right, see
you guys later.
13
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,287
Me and Brian are
going to play laser tag
14
00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:39,305
with Joe and Quagmire.
15
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,556
What?! No, you're not.
16
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,124
Tonight's our family night.
17
00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:44,360
We agreed that every Sunday,
we'd do something together.
18
00:00:45,696 --> 00:00:46,829
What?
19
00:00:46,897 --> 00:00:48,464
Oh, nothing. I was just
clearing my throat.
20
00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:50,333
Good. I thought you were
going to say something.
21
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,151
But, Lois, we
already made plans.
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,669
Yeah, I can't leave
those guys alone.
23
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:55,905
Last time they hung out
without me was a disaster.
24
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,740
All right, movie night.
25
00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,209
I am so psyched
for Reindeer Games!
26
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,445
What, I thought we
were watching La Vie En Rose.
27
00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:04,463
What do you mean,
Reindeer Games is great!
28
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,600
Everything goes wrong on the one
day it has to go right.
29
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,435
But La Vie En Rose
is a beautiful movie
30
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,704
about the real life tragedy
of Edith Piaf.
31
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:13,289
Usually Peter would
break the tie.
32
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:14,674
Well, Peter
isn't here, is he?!
33
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,409
Because you were
supposed to be watching him,
34
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,578
but you were smoking
marijuana and he drowned!
35
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,546
What? No, he's at
a PTA meeting.
36
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,331
Where the hell
did you get that story?
37
00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:24,834
I don't know! I just can't stand
it when he's not here!
38
00:01:24,902 --> 00:01:26,586
Peter, you've got
every other night of the week
39
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:27,954
to spend with your buddies.
40
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,523
This is the one night
we've set aside for our family.
41
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,391
Is that really
too much to ask?
42
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,926
I guess you're right.
43
00:01:33,977 --> 00:01:35,478
Come on, Brian.
Come upstairs.
44
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:38,097
I wanna show you a freckle on my
sack that I'm concerned about.
45
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,315
It has irregular edges.
46
00:01:41,713 --> 00:01:43,013
Peter,
what are you doing?
47
00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,453
I'm not goin' to Family Night.
48
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,656
My agreeing with Lois
was just pure theater.
49
00:01:46,723 --> 00:01:48,090
Come on, we're
jumping off the roof.
50
00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:49,659
Are you insane?!
We'll kill ourselves!
51
00:01:49,726 --> 00:01:51,027
Don't worry, we can fly.
52
00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:53,062
I got this pixie dust
from a magic fairy.
53
00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:54,430
Either that or it's speed
54
00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:56,198
I got from a transvestite
at a diner.
55
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,469
It's the speed!
It's the speed from the diner!
56
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,737
Peter, let go of me!
57
00:02:01,805 --> 00:02:03,322
Damn it!
58
00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:07,610
So what are we gonna do
for Family Night?
59
00:02:07,678 --> 00:02:10,246
Oh, would you shut up?
All the good people are gone.
60
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:17,353
Hey!
Welcome to Quahog Laser Tag.
61
00:02:17,421 --> 00:02:19,322
Please pay attention
while I show y'all
62
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,090
how to put on y'all's vests.
63
00:02:21,158 --> 00:02:22,792
Sir, can I use you
to demonstrate?
64
00:02:22,859 --> 00:02:25,061
Thank you, I have
longed for your attention
65
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:26,862
since the moment I arrived.
66
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:29,298
Now, put this on
over your shoulders.
67
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:30,599
Good.
68
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,268
Now, I'm gonna need
you to squats down
69
00:02:32,336 --> 00:02:33,769
like your underwears
is done for,
70
00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:35,604
but you might still
save the jeans.
71
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,978
Now, you's gonna wanna latch the
front to the back like so...
72
00:02:42,045 --> 00:02:43,713
Did everybody get that?
73
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,265
Boy, a lot of heat
comes off you, don't it?
74
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,771
All right, keep an
eye out for Peter.
75
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,840
He's oddly competitive
at this stuff.
76
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:58,561
Yeah, and he seems to be weirdly
physically fit at this place.
77
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,229
Yeah, it's almost like he has
78
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,648
unrealistic abilities
when we play laser tag.
79
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:07,286
All right, well, if we just
stick together, then...
80
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,404
Zap! Zap! Zap!
81
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,488
What the...
No way!
82
00:03:09,539 --> 00:03:10,506
How'd you learn
to do that?
83
00:03:10,574 --> 00:03:12,508
The question isn't how I do it.
84
00:03:12,576 --> 00:03:15,945
It's how I forgive myself
for what I've done.
85
00:03:17,381 --> 00:03:19,632
Yeah, winner!
Right here!
86
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,133
All right, pal,
what do I get?
87
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,002
Well, for five dollars,
you could get
88
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,571
your picture in a fake newspaper
with a humorous headline.
89
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,242
Wow, my picture
in the paper.
90
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,844
I didn't even
get that when
91
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,579
I brought that kitten
and gorilla together.
92
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,815
Huh?
Did I tell ya, Lois?
93
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,883
Oh, that's beautiful, Peter.
94
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,553
She's taking care of that
kitten like it's her own.
95
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,055
Yep, I knew eventually she'd
stop tearin' 'em in half.
96
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,378
There you two are!
97
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,247
We waited for you
for four hours!
98
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,448
Where the hell
have you been?!
99
00:03:52,516 --> 00:03:53,999
Look, Lois,
I know you're mad,
100
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,401
but I think this will prove
that I did the right thing.
101
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:59,271
I put our family
on the map tonight.
102
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:02,241
No longer will we be
just those faceless nobodies
103
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,876
who brought the bird flu
to Quahog.
104
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,011
You know, there's something
seriously wrong with a man
105
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,047
who always puts
his friends over his family.
106
00:04:08,098 --> 00:04:09,765
Come on, Lois, I think
you're overreacting.
107
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,134
What's so wrong about a guy
hanging out with his buddies?
108
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,270
Buddies?
You're one of his buddies?
109
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:15,404
Yeah. And you know why?
110
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:16,572
'Cause I don't try to tell him
111
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,606
what he can and can't do.
112
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,308
Oh, please, Brian.
113
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:21,627
You're just two people
who live in the same house.
114
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,129
If you didn't,
you'd never hang out
115
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,697
with each other
in a million years.
116
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,832
He owns you.
You're his property.
117
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,567
He used to hang you
in the garage
118
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,302
so his fender
wouldn't hit the wall.
119
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,422
You're there.
120
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,424
You're there!
121
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,560
I couldn't hear you.
The radio was too loud.
122
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,581
I'm going to bed.
123
00:04:42,632 --> 00:04:44,300
You know,
Lois is right, Brian.
124
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,318
You think you're Peter's pal,
but you're really not.
125
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:47,970
You're just his dog.
126
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,872
Well, that's where
you're wrong. Watch this.
127
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,674
Hey, Peter, you want
to go hit the Clam?
128
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,309
Nah, there's no way
she's in the mood.
129
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,177
Let's just go to the bar.
Sounds good.
130
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,629
Headin' to the bar
with my friend, Peter.
131
00:04:57,681 --> 00:04:59,014
You're lying
to yourself, Brian.
132
00:04:59,082 --> 00:05:00,616
Like those girls who insist
133
00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:02,384
their best friends
are attractive.
134
00:05:02,452 --> 00:05:05,020
Oh, Stewie, I can't wait for
you to meet my best friend.
135
00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:06,288
She is so cute.
136
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:07,756
Yeah, she sounds awesome.
137
00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:09,525
Oh, my God, yeah.
People ask her
138
00:05:09,593 --> 00:05:11,026
if she's a model
all the time.
139
00:05:11,094 --> 00:05:12,678
Here she comes!
140
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,514
Okay, okay,
141
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:16,882
that was an extreme example,
142
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,919
but face it, ladies,
your best friends are not hot.
143
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,792
Uh, Peter, your seat belt
back here doesn't work right.
144
00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:28,878
What's gonna happen to you
that hasn't already happened?
145
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,262
Peter, look out
for that car!
146
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,132
That's not a car.
147
00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:34,350
What is that?!
148
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,733
Hello?
149
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,437
Hello?
150
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:57,873
Anybody here?
151
00:06:01,811 --> 00:06:02,912
Hey.
152
00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:04,346
Hey.
153
00:06:04,414 --> 00:06:05,698
Do you work here?
154
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,017
I don't know.
Doesn't look like it.
155
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,501
Who are you?
156
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,421
I... I don't know.
I-I just woke up here.
157
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:14,490
I seem to be
a heavyset fellow.
158
00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:16,708
You do.
159
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,327
Thank God someone
else is here.
160
00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,563
You two seem to be the only
ones in this hospital.
161
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,147
No, I'm here, too.
162
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,049
Any of you guys
know what's going on?
163
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,185
I just woke up in
one of these rooms.
164
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,320
I have no idea
how I got here.
165
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,155
I don't even
know who I am.
166
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,158
All I know is,
I'm extremely important
167
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,461
because there are drawings of me
on all the bathroom doors.
168
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,213
See?
169
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,549
It's glued on there, too, so I'm
pretty sure it's permanent.
170
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:41,817
This is really weird.
171
00:06:41,885 --> 00:06:43,619
We seem perfectly coherent,
172
00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:45,454
it's just we can't
remember who we are.
173
00:06:45,522 --> 00:06:47,356
It's like our identities
have been
174
00:06:47,424 --> 00:06:48,691
wiped out somehow.
175
00:06:48,758 --> 00:06:50,426
Maybe we can find somebody
to help us.
176
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,507
The whole town seems
to be deserted.
177
00:07:05,575 --> 00:07:07,209
Well, if there are
only four of us,
178
00:07:07,277 --> 00:07:08,744
I propose we start a band.
179
00:07:08,812 --> 00:07:11,664
And I propose we call
ourselves Robes of Teal.
180
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,299
Aw, damn it.
181
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,270
Well, we could still be a band
and choose a different name.
182
00:07:18,321 --> 00:07:20,039
Oh, no, Robes of Teal
was the whole thing.
183
00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:38,151
What the hell happened?
Where is everybody?
184
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:39,967
You don't suppose...
185
00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:42,153
Do you think, we're the
only people on Earth?
186
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:43,754
I don't know.
I tell ya what,
187
00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:45,856
I'm gonna open up
this bag of Chex Party Mix.
188
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,458
If people don't show up,
then we're it.
189
00:07:49,227 --> 00:07:51,095
Yep, we're it.
190
00:07:51,163 --> 00:07:53,664
All right, look, we know
we woke up in the hospital,
191
00:07:53,732 --> 00:07:55,833
so maybe there was some kind
of catastrophe
192
00:07:55,901 --> 00:07:57,268
that we were all spared.
193
00:07:57,335 --> 00:07:59,437
Or maybe we were all
in some kind of accident.
194
00:07:59,504 --> 00:08:01,472
Well, that would explain
why you're in a wheelchair.
195
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:03,541
You must have gotten hurt
worse than the rest of us.
196
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,160
Yeah, I got hit so hard,
it knocked my pee into a bag.
197
00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:07,495
None of this
makes any sense.
198
00:08:07,562 --> 00:08:08,662
Where the hell
is everybody?
199
00:08:08,747 --> 00:08:10,347
Well, if we wait
till tax day,
200
00:08:10,415 --> 00:08:11,882
I'm sure the tax man
will show up.
201
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,250
Ha. You should tweet that.
202
00:08:13,301 --> 00:08:15,786
Okay.
203
00:08:17,155 --> 00:08:18,489
This guy's hilarious.
204
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:19,957
I'm gonna retweet this.
205
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,893
Huh.
Mm.
206
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,663
Social media is bringing us
all closer together.
207
00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:26,864
Unfollow.
208
00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:31,118
Hey, you know,
if we're all gonna be
209
00:08:31,186 --> 00:08:32,586
tryin' to figure
this out together,
210
00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:34,805
maybe it would be easier
if we gave each other names.
211
00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:36,157
That's a great idea.
212
00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:38,325
Hey, maybe my name
is on this collar.
213
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:40,694
Cremate, don't bury.
214
00:08:40,779 --> 00:08:41,812
Okay, that's a downer.
215
00:08:41,863 --> 00:08:43,147
You know what?
216
00:08:43,198 --> 00:08:45,082
I'm gettin' a feeling
about my name.
217
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,918
I think my name
might be Shirt Pants.
218
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,037
Shirt Pants?
What kind of name is that?
219
00:08:50,122 --> 00:08:51,321
I don't know.
What's your name?
220
00:08:51,373 --> 00:08:53,207
I kinda think
it's Manly Walker.
221
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:54,825
Wheeler?
No, Walker.
222
00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:56,177
Wheeler?
No, you're not hearing me right.
223
00:08:56,261 --> 00:08:57,294
It's Walker.
224
00:08:57,345 --> 00:08:58,496
It's probably Wheeler.
225
00:08:58,563 --> 00:09:00,131
I sorta think
my name is Earl.
226
00:09:00,182 --> 00:09:02,016
(My Name is Earl theme plays)
227
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,467
What was that?
I don't know.
228
00:09:03,518 --> 00:09:05,186
Apparently, I made
some sort of reference.
229
00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:08,055
Hey, check it out.
Looks like a bar.
230
00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:09,824
I could go
for a stiff one.
231
00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:11,392
I think they got
a pill for that.
232
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:12,660
Shirt Pants!
233
00:09:12,727 --> 00:09:15,496
Who else but Shirt Pants?
234
00:09:15,564 --> 00:09:18,132
♪ He's Shirt Pants,
Shirt Pants ♪
235
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,401
♪ She's tryin' to remember,
but he really can't ♪
236
00:09:20,469 --> 00:09:22,503
♪ He's Shirt Pants,
Shirt Pants ♪
237
00:09:22,571 --> 00:09:25,422
♪ All I know for sure is I'm
wearing a shirt and pants. ♪
238
00:09:26,541 --> 00:09:28,142
Hello?
239
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:30,478
♪ A-well-a everybody's heard
about the bird ♪
240
00:09:30,545 --> 00:09:33,247
♪ B-B-Bird, bird, bird,
b-bird's the word... ♪
241
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,249
That's annoying.
242
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:37,034
It just doesn't make sense
243
00:09:37,085 --> 00:09:38,302
that there aren't any people.
244
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,037
This couldn't have
happened naturally.
245
00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:42,890
Something must have
caused this, or someone.
246
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:45,943
Well, when I find that person,
I'm gonna strangle him.
247
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:48,579
I had a life,
and he took it away from me.
248
00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:51,065
I don't remember it,
but I bet it was pretty good.
249
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,433
Yeah, me, too.
250
00:09:52,501 --> 00:09:54,301
I bet I was a doctor
who had to deal with
251
00:09:54,369 --> 00:09:56,203
a lot of serious stuff,
but always found a way
252
00:09:56,271 --> 00:09:57,304
to keep things light.
253
00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:00,741
Oh, my God,
she's beautiful.
254
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,176
Yeah, she is.
255
00:10:02,244 --> 00:10:04,912
It's not yours.
Yours died.
256
00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:06,447
Yeah, and I bet I answered
257
00:10:06,515 --> 00:10:08,749
the customer complaint line
at a Danish cookie company.
258
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,519
Hello, Danish cookie company.
259
00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:14,522
No, I know they don't
taste very good.
260
00:10:14,589 --> 00:10:16,757
Well, because
they're very dry, aren't they?
261
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,292
I mean, t-they came in a tin,
262
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,394
how fresh did you think
they were gonna be?
263
00:10:20,462 --> 00:10:22,630
Look, it's dark
and freezing in Denmark.
264
00:10:22,697 --> 00:10:24,999
Everybody who made these cookies
has shot themselves.
265
00:10:25,066 --> 00:10:27,785
Well, I bet I did something
really important and exciting.
266
00:10:27,852 --> 00:10:29,587
Like-like maybe I was
a speechwriter
267
00:10:29,654 --> 00:10:31,222
for the first ever
black president.
268
00:10:33,158 --> 00:10:34,758
Hey, can he say
the word "ask"?
269
00:10:34,826 --> 00:10:36,694
Or-or is that a word
we should avoid?
270
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,964
Yea, and I bet you I was the
voice of an animated bird.
271
00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:42,600
I thought I saw a cat.
272
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:45,169
I did see a cat.
273
00:10:45,237 --> 00:10:47,204
Oh, my God,
look at that.
274
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:51,442
Wow, that looks
pretty bad.
275
00:10:51,509 --> 00:10:52,743
Is the Chinese
guy dead?
276
00:10:52,811 --> 00:10:53,877
Wait.
277
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,430
We-we were in this car.
278
00:10:56,498 --> 00:10:58,032
I can smell us all
in this car!
279
00:10:58,099 --> 00:10:59,667
This must be the accident
280
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,302
that put us all
in the hospital.
281
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,587
See if there's a registration
in the glove compartment.
282
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:07,891
"Peter Griffin."
283
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,760
One of us is Peter Griffin.
284
00:11:09,828 --> 00:11:11,645
Look at this indent
on the steering wheel.
285
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,082
It's a perfect match.
286
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,116
Oh, my God!
287
00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:17,234
You're Peter Griffin!
288
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,535
Yeah, I am.
289
00:11:18,603 --> 00:11:20,537
And you live
at 31 Spooner Street.
290
00:11:20,605 --> 00:11:22,273
Finally, a real clue.
Let's go!
291
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:23,807
Wow, I own a house!
292
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:25,109
I just hope it doesn't have
293
00:11:25,176 --> 00:11:27,111
one of those mailboxes
that looks like a cow.
294
00:11:27,178 --> 00:11:30,147
I just want to seem cool to
these guys, but I really hope
295
00:11:30,215 --> 00:11:32,683
I have one of those mailboxes
that looks like a cow.
296
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:34,918
"Moo," says my mailbox.
297
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,256
Well, this is
31 Spooner Street.
298
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,491
I'm home.
299
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:41,759
All right,
see you guys.
300
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,193
I'm gonna go shove my
hand down my pants
301
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:44,328
and see if that
goes someplace.
302
00:11:47,198 --> 00:11:49,900
Guys! Guys!
It goes someplace!
303
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:52,453
Hang on, I got something.
304
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,741
I poop a lot on this lawn.
305
00:11:57,809 --> 00:11:59,176
This must be where I live!
306
00:12:00,695 --> 00:12:01,996
Hey, Shirt Pants,
come in here.
307
00:12:03,832 --> 00:12:05,399
Oh, my God!
308
00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:06,950
I know, I know!
You're my owner!
309
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,569
I knew it!
I knew we were pals!
310
00:12:08,653 --> 00:12:10,371
Yeah, I mean, there's
no pictures of me,
311
00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,373
but I see you've got a
dog collar and a leash.
312
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,291
And look how big
your doggie cage is.
313
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,526
You could fit
a human in there.
314
00:12:15,593 --> 00:12:17,061
Clearly, you're
a good owner.
315
00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:21,298
It's such a
weird situation.
316
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,400
I-I just think somebody
should be writing about it.
317
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:24,668
Yeah.
318
00:12:24,719 --> 00:12:26,503
Do you... do you think
it should be me?
319
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,555
S-Should I be the one
writing about this?
320
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,706
Uh, I don't know.
321
00:12:29,758 --> 00:12:31,308
I-I think it
should be me.
322
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,477
Then just do it, stop talking
about it for God's sake.
323
00:12:34,746 --> 00:12:36,313
Oh, hey, guys.
324
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,748
Well, we got it
all figured out.
325
00:12:37,816 --> 00:12:39,583
Turns out my name
is Glenn Quagmire,
326
00:12:39,651 --> 00:12:40,834
and this is my dog.
327
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:42,119
Hey, you guys!
328
00:12:42,187 --> 00:12:43,354
Hey, I found my house.
329
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:45,022
Turns out my name's
Joe Swanson,
330
00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:47,224
and I found this
police uniform in my closet.
331
00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:48,525
Do you know
what that means?
332
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:49,777
I'm a stripper!
333
00:12:51,246 --> 00:12:53,280
Well, it's good
we found out who we all are,
334
00:12:53,348 --> 00:12:54,615
but we still
haven't found out
335
00:12:54,699 --> 00:12:56,350
what the hell happened
to everybody else.
336
00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:57,818
Yeah, I've been
thinking about that,
337
00:12:57,886 --> 00:12:59,620
and I think the
best course of action
338
00:12:59,688 --> 00:13:02,506
is for us to just go ahead and
start repopulating the Earth.
339
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,974
But there are no women.
340
00:13:04,042 --> 00:13:05,209
Well, let's try
some stuff.
341
00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:06,994
Hey, you guys want to
see something cool?
342
00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:09,396
There's a bedroom upstairs
that belonged to some girl,
343
00:13:09,464 --> 00:13:10,931
and she's got bras in there,
344
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,633
and the cups are
different sizes.
345
00:13:12,701 --> 00:13:14,435
L-Like one of them's
a martini glass
346
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,769
and the other one's
some kinda melon.
347
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,175
Guys, you know how
we were thinking
348
00:13:21,242 --> 00:13:23,644
that something must have
caused this situation...
349
00:13:23,712 --> 00:13:25,079
or someone?
Yeah?
350
00:13:25,146 --> 00:13:26,914
Look at that.
351
00:13:31,986 --> 00:13:33,120
Oh, my God.
352
00:13:33,204 --> 00:13:34,104
It's him.
353
00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:35,205
He did this.
354
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,240
What do we do?
355
00:13:36,307 --> 00:13:37,474
Check it out.
356
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:38,742
I got the little
freak's bra.
357
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,960
I'm gonna put it on.
358
00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:43,797
Huh, this actually
fits pretty well.
359
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,432
Oh, wait, there's
a name on it.
360
00:13:46,412 --> 00:13:47,612
It's mine.
361
00:13:53,038 --> 00:13:54,438
My God.
362
00:13:54,506 --> 00:13:56,824
Peter is responsible for
killing everyone on Earth.
363
00:13:56,892 --> 00:13:59,510
But how could a guy like that
cause all this destruction?
364
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:01,712
Well, he's clearly
not just a guy.
365
00:14:01,780 --> 00:14:03,881
He's some kind of
omnipotent alien,
366
00:14:03,949 --> 00:14:05,749
with powers we can
only guess at.
367
00:14:05,817 --> 00:14:07,718
Look at him--
watching, learning...
368
00:14:07,786 --> 00:14:09,420
absorbing.
369
00:14:09,488 --> 00:14:12,022
This janitor's in love
with this redheaded ashtray.
370
00:14:15,594 --> 00:14:17,094
But why didn't
he kill us?
371
00:14:17,162 --> 00:14:19,196
I don't know, maybe...
maybe he needs us.
372
00:14:19,264 --> 00:14:20,664
Maybe we're important.
373
00:14:20,732 --> 00:14:23,467
I mean, I do have all these
profound ideas and thoughts.
374
00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:24,935
Maybe I was a deep
thinker of some kind.
375
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:26,070
Deep thinker?
376
00:14:26,138 --> 00:14:27,271
I spent the whole morning
377
00:14:27,339 --> 00:14:28,906
trying to teach you
one simple thing.
378
00:14:28,974 --> 00:14:30,808
Give me paw.
379
00:14:30,876 --> 00:14:32,543
Paw?
380
00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:34,612
Good.
Other paw.
381
00:14:34,679 --> 00:14:36,914
No. Other paw.
382
00:14:36,982 --> 00:14:38,449
No!
We practiced this!
383
00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:40,050
You're gonna make me look bad
in front of the other guys.
384
00:14:40,118 --> 00:14:41,852
Other paw!
385
00:14:43,221 --> 00:14:44,288
Finally!
386
00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:45,456
You know, this
actually reminds me
387
00:14:45,524 --> 00:14:46,757
of a quote by Milton...
388
00:14:46,825 --> 00:14:48,692
Shut the up.
389
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,394
Well, what are we gonna do?
390
00:14:50,462 --> 00:14:51,353
What are we
gonna do about what?
391
00:14:52,314 --> 00:14:53,480
Oh, about the...
392
00:14:53,548 --> 00:14:55,950
The, uh, th-th-the pie!
393
00:14:56,017 --> 00:14:57,885
The pie we're all
gonna make for you for...
394
00:14:57,953 --> 00:14:59,486
being such a great guy.
395
00:14:59,554 --> 00:15:01,622
Aw, my God,
that sounds awesome.
396
00:15:01,673 --> 00:15:03,274
I would kill everyone
in the world
397
00:15:03,341 --> 00:15:05,743
and leave three survivors
for a piece of pie right now.
398
00:15:10,282 --> 00:15:11,515
Guys, really, what
are we gonna do?
399
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:12,983
Well, it seems obvious.
400
00:15:13,051 --> 00:15:15,553
We gotta find a way
to kill him before he kills us.
401
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:16,887
Kill him?
402
00:15:16,955 --> 00:15:18,923
How about we just get
the hell out of here?
403
00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:20,558
Are you kidding me?
He'd catch us.
404
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:23,194
If this guy's an alien,
I bet he can fly.
405
00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,329
He can probably
hear us right now.
406
00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:26,764
He's probably got a laser beam
407
00:15:26,831 --> 00:15:28,199
that can shoot us
through the walls.
408
00:15:29,484 --> 00:15:31,018
He can't hit us
if we keep moving!
409
00:15:31,069 --> 00:15:33,120
Can you... Can you not...
Can you...
410
00:15:33,188 --> 00:15:35,239
I just took a bunch of
random stuff I found
411
00:15:35,323 --> 00:15:36,924
in my medicine cabinet,
and you're really
412
00:15:36,992 --> 00:15:38,125
freaking me out
right now.
413
00:15:38,193 --> 00:15:39,960
Okay, maybe he doesn't
have a laser.
414
00:15:40,028 --> 00:15:43,197
But listen, if we're gonna kill
him, we gotta find some guns.
415
00:15:43,265 --> 00:15:45,082
Okay, well, let's go.
416
00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:47,117
Not all of us. Somebody's
gotta go over there
417
00:15:47,185 --> 00:15:49,587
and keep an eye on him, make
sure he doesn't go anywhere.
418
00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:50,821
Oh, come on.
Why me?
419
00:15:50,889 --> 00:15:52,523
'Cause I'm your owner
and I said so.
420
00:15:52,591 --> 00:15:53,991
But I don't want to.
421
00:15:54,059 --> 00:15:55,259
All right, then,
you asked for it!
422
00:15:56,394 --> 00:15:57,795
What, what is that?
423
00:15:57,862 --> 00:15:59,213
I found it
in my night table.
424
00:15:59,281 --> 00:16:01,482
I thought it was a dog whistle,
but now I'm thinking
425
00:16:01,549 --> 00:16:04,001
it's something you jam in your
urethra to make you last longer.
426
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:10,808
Man, I wonder if I'm one
of those secret assassins
427
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:12,142
who doesn't even know it,
428
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:14,044
but I'm a highly trained
killing machine.
429
00:16:14,112 --> 00:16:16,213
Well, I could test that
by attacking you.
430
00:16:16,281 --> 00:16:17,715
If you repel my attack,
431
00:16:17,782 --> 00:16:19,183
maybe that means
you're a secret assassin.
432
00:16:19,251 --> 00:16:20,784
Good idea.
433
00:16:22,287 --> 00:16:25,489
I don't, I don't think
I'm a secret assassin.
434
00:16:27,911 --> 00:16:29,647
Hey, uh...
435
00:16:29,648 --> 00:16:31,782
knock, knock,
a-anybody home?
436
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:32,983
Oh, hey, buddy.
Come on in,
437
00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:34,485
I could use some company.
438
00:16:34,552 --> 00:16:36,220
Um, okay.
439
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,105
Hey, I know we're the only
people on Earth and all,
440
00:16:38,173 --> 00:16:39,506
but what's with
all these Mexicans
441
00:16:39,574 --> 00:16:41,242
coming here
to steal our jobs?
442
00:16:41,309 --> 00:16:42,676
Hey, what are you
doin' down there?
443
00:16:42,744 --> 00:16:44,411
Come on, sit up on
the couch with me.
444
00:16:44,479 --> 00:16:46,380
Are you sure?
445
00:16:46,448 --> 00:16:49,116
Mr. Quagmire says dogs aren't
allowed on the furniture.
446
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:50,517
I don't care
about that stuff.
447
00:16:50,585 --> 00:16:52,620
Besides, you look like
you got a clean bum.
448
00:16:52,687 --> 00:16:55,055
It is pretty clean.
I just cleaned it.
449
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:56,991
Ha. Bums are funny.
450
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,859
They are kinda funny.
451
00:16:58,927 --> 00:17:00,511
We all got one.
We all got one!
452
00:17:00,578 --> 00:17:02,680
I was just gonna say that!
Isn't-isn't that weird?
453
00:17:02,747 --> 00:17:04,181
Everybody's got a bum!
454
00:17:06,134 --> 00:17:07,568
Mine's even got a secret
compartment in it
455
00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:08,769
where you can store stuff.
456
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:09,937
Hey, you want a pretzel?
457
00:17:10,005 --> 00:17:11,238
I'm okay.
458
00:17:11,306 --> 00:17:13,307
You know, you ever think
if we could all just
459
00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:15,776
spend more time celebrating our
similarities instead of just
460
00:17:15,844 --> 00:17:17,227
standing on our differences,
the universe
461
00:17:17,295 --> 00:17:18,696
would be a much better place?
462
00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:20,547
Not really.
But that bum thing,
463
00:17:20,615 --> 00:17:21,849
you're-you're on
to something there.
464
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,284
Y-You're, uh...
465
00:17:23,351 --> 00:17:25,669
you're some kind of deep
thinker, aren't you?
466
00:17:30,492 --> 00:17:31,825
Where you goin'?
467
00:17:31,893 --> 00:17:33,327
I-I think your...
468
00:17:33,411 --> 00:17:35,012
your pie might be
about ready.
469
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,947
Hey, we're gonna share
that pie, buddy,
470
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:39,216
'cause, you know,
there's no "I" in "pie."
471
00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:40,143
Except for the "I."
472
00:17:40,144 --> 00:17:41,878
But enough about
numbers. You go.
473
00:17:44,554 --> 00:17:45,934
So, we ready
to do this?
474
00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:47,269
You guys, I'm
not sure that
475
00:17:47,337 --> 00:17:48,804
Peter's the guy
we think he is.
476
00:17:48,872 --> 00:17:51,607
He seems harmless and
actually kinda nice.
477
00:17:51,674 --> 00:17:52,941
Oh, my God.
478
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:54,176
You slept with him!
479
00:17:54,244 --> 00:17:55,477
What? No, no.
480
00:17:55,545 --> 00:17:57,429
We were just watching TV,
but listen,
481
00:17:57,497 --> 00:18:00,032
you've got to believe me, he's
not capable of hurting anyone.
482
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,967
Clearly he's
controlling your mind
483
00:18:02,035 --> 00:18:04,103
with his superior
alien brain.
484
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,355
Ah, don't let 'em get
you down, Paul Blart.
485
00:18:06,422 --> 00:18:07,956
Your life has dignity.
486
00:18:08,024 --> 00:18:09,958
And comedy!
487
00:18:10,026 --> 00:18:11,894
Oh, heavens!
488
00:18:11,961 --> 00:18:13,862
Look, there's pretty solid
evidence that this guy
489
00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,631
is responsible
for the elimination of
490
00:18:15,698 --> 00:18:18,917
the entire human race,
and we need to take him out.
491
00:18:18,985 --> 00:18:20,335
Okay, okay, you're right.
492
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,471
But he trusts me, so
493
00:18:22,539 --> 00:18:23,939
you guys wait here,
494
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:25,340
and I'll go lure him out.
495
00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:32,080
I have a lot of
dirty stuff in my house.
496
00:18:32,148 --> 00:18:33,782
Wait, what the
hell's he doing?
497
00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:38,687
He's supposed to be
luring Peter out here.
498
00:18:38,755 --> 00:18:40,055
He's not doing
anything like that.
499
00:18:40,123 --> 00:18:41,223
He's warning him!
500
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:42,624
They think I'm an alien?!
501
00:18:42,675 --> 00:18:44,443
Yes, and you have to get
out of here right away!
502
00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:46,278
But you're-you're
Quagmire's dog.
503
00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:48,247
Why would you be
helping me instead of him?
504
00:18:48,314 --> 00:18:49,615
Because...
505
00:18:49,682 --> 00:18:51,683
I-I don't...
I don't know why.
506
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:52,784
I-I can't explain it.
507
00:18:52,852 --> 00:18:53,919
I-I just...
508
00:18:53,987 --> 00:18:56,555
I feel like
you're my friend.
509
00:18:56,623 --> 00:18:57,723
You wouldn't understand.
510
00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:00,159
No, I think I kinda do.
511
00:19:02,795 --> 00:19:04,163
Come on, buddy.
Let's go!
512
00:19:08,751 --> 00:19:11,453
I knew I couldn't trust you,
you filthy mongrel.
513
00:19:11,504 --> 00:19:13,105
Guys, he didn't
do it, I swear.
514
00:19:13,173 --> 00:19:14,473
Get out of the way, dog.
515
00:19:16,259 --> 00:19:18,427
Please! I didn't do anything!
516
00:19:18,494 --> 00:19:20,762
When you've been a stripper
as long as I have,
517
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,931
you know when you've
met a bad egg.
518
00:19:22,999 --> 00:19:24,533
And you're a bad egg.
519
00:19:39,515 --> 00:19:41,917
No! You bastards!
520
00:19:52,111 --> 00:19:54,246
What the hell...
521
00:19:54,314 --> 00:19:55,697
What's going on?
522
00:19:57,417 --> 00:19:58,533
Stewie?
523
00:19:58,601 --> 00:20:00,202
Well, Brian,
you proved me wrong.
524
00:20:00,270 --> 00:20:01,787
What the hell
are you talking about?
525
00:20:01,854 --> 00:20:03,255
What, what is all this?
526
00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:06,008
You see, Brian, I conducted
a little experiment.
527
00:20:06,059 --> 00:20:07,809
Remember our
little argument about
528
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:09,678
whether you and Peter
were actually friends?
529
00:20:09,729 --> 00:20:12,047
Well, I wanted to prove
to you that I was right,
530
00:20:12,115 --> 00:20:14,983
that your friendship was purely
a result of circumstance.
531
00:20:15,051 --> 00:20:18,387
So I created a scenario in which
everyone's memories were erased,
532
00:20:18,454 --> 00:20:20,322
to demonstrate
that you and Peter
533
00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:22,341
would never naturally
associate with one another.
534
00:20:22,408 --> 00:20:23,742
But I was wrong.
535
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:26,828
It appears you two have
a genuine bond after all.
536
00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:28,263
Wow.
537
00:20:28,331 --> 00:20:31,149
So we really were meant
to be friends.
538
00:20:31,217 --> 00:20:32,584
I guess you were, yes.
539
00:20:32,652 --> 00:20:34,686
So, are they gonna
remember any of this?
540
00:20:34,754 --> 00:20:36,622
No, I'll wipe out
their whole day.
541
00:20:36,689 --> 00:20:37,756
It'll be like
it never happened.
542
00:20:37,824 --> 00:20:39,091
Wow.
543
00:20:39,158 --> 00:20:40,809
Hey, what's going
on over there?
544
00:20:42,278 --> 00:20:44,623
Oh, I wanted to see how
three women would react
545
00:20:44,648 --> 00:20:45,597
in the same situation.
546
00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:46,848
Stop it!
547
00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,517
Ow! Ow!
Let go! Let go!
548
00:20:49,935 --> 00:20:51,882
They've only been in there
for three minutes.
549
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:54,335
Haven't even tried to figure
out each other's names yet.
550
00:20:54,934 --> 00:20:58,934
== sync, corrected by elderman ==