1
00:00:04,812 --> 00:00:06,783
Hey guys, can I share
something with you?
2
00:00:06,808 --> 00:00:08,040
Sure.
Yeah. Go ahead.
3
00:00:08,065 --> 00:00:11,206
Well, you know how I don't ever
brag about my sexual exploits.
4
00:00:11,231 --> 00:00:13,071
That would be an
accurate statement, yes.
5
00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:16,542
Well, last night,
Bonnie and I got really kinky.
6
00:00:16,576 --> 00:00:17,709
She painted my toenails.
7
00:00:18,645 --> 00:00:20,546
Wha...?
You serious?
8
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:22,281
Check it out.
9
00:00:24,117 --> 00:00:25,751
What the hell is that?!
10
00:00:25,785 --> 00:00:26,818
Nail polish.
11
00:00:26,853 --> 00:00:27,886
No. The foot.
12
00:00:27,921 --> 00:00:30,389
It's a child's foot, Joe.
13
00:00:30,423 --> 00:00:32,724
Wha... I-I don't... you-you were
crippled when you were an adult.
14
00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:33,825
How the hell did...?
Yeah.
15
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:35,627
A few months back,
I got really drunk
16
00:00:35,662 --> 00:00:37,763
and was playing around
with an elastic band.
17
00:00:37,797 --> 00:00:40,399
I wrapped it around my thigh
and forgot about it
18
00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:43,535
for a week or two and uh, yeah,
so, that's my left foot now.
19
00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:46,038
I mean,
it still works the same.
20
00:00:46,072 --> 00:00:47,139
Oh, yeah, sure.
21
00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:48,807
Still a foot, I guess.
22
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,075
Whassup?
23
00:00:51,311 --> 00:00:52,811
Oh, hey, Cleveland.
Hi.
24
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,246
Wait, don't you have
a show to do?
25
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,181
Oh... That's right.
26
00:00:56,216 --> 00:00:58,317
All right.
I knew this was coming.
27
00:00:58,351 --> 00:01:00,052
Everybody give me
your best shot.
28
00:01:00,086 --> 00:01:01,620
Oh, my God.
Where do I even begin?
29
00:01:01,654 --> 00:01:03,255
You know,
it's not a good sign
30
00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:04,389
that this is
the first time
31
00:01:04,424 --> 00:01:05,424
a lot of people
are realizing
32
00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:06,258
you had a show.
33
00:01:06,292 --> 00:01:07,726
Your logo was stupid.
34
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,127
It looked like
a big, purple penis
35
00:01:09,162 --> 00:01:10,395
and your ratings blew.
36
00:01:10,430 --> 00:01:13,065
We did about the same
as Bob's Burgers.
37
00:01:13,099 --> 00:01:14,132
That's your bar!?
38
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:15,334
Oh, shame on you!
39
00:01:15,368 --> 00:01:17,569
This is good.
This is constructive.
40
00:01:17,604 --> 00:01:19,238
The talking bear
was so bad,
41
00:01:19,272 --> 00:01:21,807
Seth MacFarlane quit voicing him
after season two.
42
00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:24,042
It's hard to make
a talking bear funny.
43
00:01:24,077 --> 00:01:26,912
It worked out
okay in movie form.
44
00:01:26,946 --> 00:01:28,947
What was supposed to be
the show's audience?
45
00:01:28,982 --> 00:01:29,948
Who did you make it for?
46
00:01:29,983 --> 00:01:31,016
Like, some black guy
47
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,684
who's never met
another black guy?
48
00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:34,486
Anything else?
Yeah.
49
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,522
Here's four seasons worth of
DVDs of what we've been up to.
50
00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:39,124
You know, just so you're
back up the speed.
51
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:42,694
And I'll warn you ahead of time:
these have jokes in them.
52
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:44,363
I...
53
00:01:44,397 --> 00:01:46,932
I don't have
a DVD player.
54
00:01:46,966 --> 00:01:50,936
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
55
00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:54,106
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
56
00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:57,342
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
57
00:01:57,377 --> 00:02:00,445
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
58
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,283
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
59
00:02:04,317 --> 00:02:07,519
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
60
00:02:07,553 --> 00:02:09,388
♪ All the things
that make us... ♪
61
00:02:09,422 --> 00:02:12,457
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry.
62
00:02:12,492 --> 00:02:14,526
Sorry, Mort.
I-I hate to do this.
63
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,194
What... What's happening?
64
00:02:16,229 --> 00:02:17,562
They want me in the line.
65
00:02:17,597 --> 00:02:18,897
Well, where do I go?
66
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,132
Home?
67
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:22,401
Okay, but I still
get paid for today, right?
68
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:23,935
I... I wouldn't know.
69
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,671
You need to talk to Marla.
70
00:02:28,474 --> 00:02:29,908
Sorry.
71
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:30,842
You okay?
72
00:02:30,877 --> 00:02:32,144
What do you care?
73
00:02:34,747 --> 00:02:36,381
♪ All the things that make us ♪
74
00:02:36,416 --> 00:02:38,216
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
75
00:02:38,251 --> 00:02:41,233
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
76
00:02:41,236 --> 00:02:45,236
♪ Family Guy 12x20 ♪
He's Bla-ack!
Original Air Date on May 11, 2014
77
00:02:45,237 --> 00:02:50,237
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
78
00:02:50,263 --> 00:02:51,863
It'll be nice
having Cleveland
79
00:02:51,898 --> 00:02:53,031
back across
the street.
80
00:02:53,066 --> 00:02:54,232
Why?
81
00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:56,301
I think a lot of times
you only say things
82
00:02:56,336 --> 00:02:57,703
because they make
you sound good.
83
00:02:57,737 --> 00:02:59,237
You know, Cleveland,
it must be weird
84
00:02:59,272 --> 00:03:01,873
for you guys to move and
not 'cause of a hurricane.
85
00:03:01,908 --> 00:03:04,409
Oh, Lois, I'm so
glad to see
86
00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:06,311
Peter and Cleveland
back together again.
87
00:03:06,346 --> 00:03:07,746
Yeah, me too.
88
00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:09,214
Now Peter will have
something to do
89
00:03:09,248 --> 00:03:10,415
besides flushing
the toilet
90
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,017
to Foghat's
"Slow Ride."
91
00:03:12,051 --> 00:03:14,186
Peter, what are you doing in there?
92
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:15,520
Nothin'.
93
00:03:15,555 --> 00:03:16,755
♪ Slow ride ♪
94
00:03:19,092 --> 00:03:20,992
♪ Take it easy ♪
95
00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:24,796
♪ Slow ride ♪
96
00:03:26,632 --> 00:03:28,767
Peter, you're wasting
tons of water!
97
00:03:28,801 --> 00:03:29,901
It's not a waste!
98
00:03:29,936 --> 00:03:31,703
And we need a faster toilet.
99
00:03:31,738 --> 00:03:33,071
'Sup, man?
100
00:03:33,106 --> 00:03:34,406
Yeah, yeah, "sup."
101
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,441
Keep walkin', you
Boondocks rip-off.
102
00:03:37,977 --> 00:03:39,678
Home, sweet...
103
00:03:39,712 --> 00:03:40,746
Huh?!
104
00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:45,717
This house is a
disastrous area!
105
00:03:45,752 --> 00:03:47,686
I can't move my
family in here.
106
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:48,787
You're right.
107
00:03:48,821 --> 00:03:50,455
Well, we'll all have
to do our part.
108
00:03:50,490 --> 00:03:52,090
I'll take little
cocoa butter here.
109
00:03:53,326 --> 00:03:54,760
What the hell
happened?
110
00:03:54,794 --> 00:03:56,495
Well, a lot of people
rented your house.
111
00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:57,996
Uh, Ryan Reynolds,
112
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,531
Chevy Chase
and Dan Aykroyd...
113
00:03:59,565 --> 00:04:00,999
For a while, it
was an orphanage
114
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,301
where the children
sang desolate songs.
115
00:04:03,336 --> 00:04:08,039
♪ We're too old
to ever be adopted ♪
116
00:04:08,074 --> 00:04:13,812
♪ No one wants
a nine-year-old. ♪
117
00:04:13,846 --> 00:04:16,515
Shut up,
you bastards!
118
00:04:19,652 --> 00:04:21,920
I really appreciate y'all
119
00:04:21,954 --> 00:04:23,622
helpin' me fix up my house.
120
00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:24,623
Yeah, no problem,
Cleveland.
121
00:04:24,657 --> 00:04:25,791
Hey, where do you
want me to put
122
00:04:25,825 --> 00:04:27,125
all these giraffe
figurines?
123
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,160
Just spread 'em out.
124
00:04:28,194 --> 00:04:30,629
Don't make any one
room too giraffey.
125
00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:32,497
Cleveland, where should
I hang the mirror?
126
00:04:32,532 --> 00:04:33,565
Right about here?
127
00:04:33,599 --> 00:04:35,000
Maybe a
little higher.
128
00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:36,535
Oh, like, uh,
up here?
129
00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:38,069
I think
maybe higher.
130
00:04:38,104 --> 00:04:39,805
You don't want
it too high, now.
131
00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,873
Let's get you a
different job, Joe.
132
00:04:41,908 --> 00:04:43,108
Are you sure?
133
00:04:43,142 --> 00:04:45,243
'Cause I already hung
all these paintings.
134
00:04:45,278 --> 00:04:48,447
This place is shaping up
real nice.
135
00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,118
Hey, Cleveland,
what's that?
136
00:04:53,152 --> 00:04:54,953
Oh, this is
my bead door.
137
00:04:54,987 --> 00:04:56,021
It looks stupid.
138
00:04:56,055 --> 00:04:57,789
Why don't you walk
through it?
139
00:05:01,027 --> 00:05:02,194
How do you feel?
140
00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:03,595
Awesome!
141
00:05:03,629 --> 00:05:05,831
Like a suitcase
comin' out of the airport.
142
00:05:05,865 --> 00:05:07,232
Yeah, or
like a bug
143
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,801
walkin' through
Stevie Wonder's hair.
144
00:05:14,006 --> 00:05:17,175
Turns out this old house is
lacking in storage space,
145
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:19,377
so I gotta make some
tough decisions.
146
00:05:19,412 --> 00:05:20,846
You gonna keep
these neckties?
147
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,347
Yeah, throw 'em
in my car.
148
00:05:22,381 --> 00:05:23,782
They're just to keep
my trunk closed
149
00:05:23,816 --> 00:05:25,550
what if I'm ever
haulin' garbage.
150
00:05:25,585 --> 00:05:26,718
I ain't no lawyer.
151
00:05:26,752 --> 00:05:28,620
I use whatever
for my purposes.
152
00:05:28,654 --> 00:05:30,088
Could be a box spring.
153
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,490
Could be a
old radio.
154
00:05:31,524 --> 00:05:33,258
Could be a more
recent radio...
155
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,426
Wait, now
I'm confused.
156
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,261
So... so some of this
stuff isn't trash?
157
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,829
Like this
old computer monitor?
158
00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:39,164
Nah, that's a
sittin' chair,
159
00:05:39,198 --> 00:05:40,365
what for children.
160
00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:41,867
How about this telephone cord?
161
00:05:41,901 --> 00:05:43,201
That's a pet leash.
162
00:05:43,236 --> 00:05:45,704
If the good Lord decideth
we should have one.
163
00:05:45,738 --> 00:05:47,239
I'm gonna go
ahead and ditch
164
00:05:47,273 --> 00:05:49,341
these promotional
McDonald's cups from the 80's.
165
00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:51,109
Nah, that's all
we drink from.
166
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:52,677
That's the Riddler
right there.
167
00:05:52,712 --> 00:05:55,647
He would make inquiries
to set your mind a-jumble.
168
00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:58,049
How do you live in a
house with all this junk?
169
00:05:58,084 --> 00:06:00,018
I'd rather stay in a
house with small kids.
170
00:06:00,052 --> 00:06:02,254
So you can sleep
on the couch.
171
00:06:02,288 --> 00:06:04,222
Uh, please take
the potty seat off the toilet,
172
00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:05,557
don't try to
pee through it.
173
00:06:05,591 --> 00:06:07,259
There's juice boxes
in the fridge
174
00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:09,728
and if you get hungry,
there's plenty of Goldfish in the couch.
175
00:06:09,762 --> 00:06:12,731
Um, feel free to watch
TV with the sound off.
176
00:06:12,765 --> 00:06:14,399
And the kids
will be down here
177
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:16,968
first thing in the morning
to antagonize the dogs.
178
00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:19,004
Oh, and everyone
here has pinkeye.
179
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:27,012
"...And that was the moment
I stopped being Dwayne Johnson
180
00:06:27,046 --> 00:06:29,381
and started being The Rock."
181
00:06:29,415 --> 00:06:31,116
That's a good place
to leave off.
182
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:32,617
Hey, I just realized.
183
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:33,618
We're The Rock!
184
00:06:33,653 --> 00:06:34,653
What do you mean?
185
00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:35,987
Together, you and I
186
00:06:36,022 --> 00:06:38,390
make one biracial
wrestler.
187
00:06:38,424 --> 00:06:40,158
Do you have any
folding chairs?
188
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,293
No.
189
00:06:41,327 --> 00:06:42,327
That's all right.
I'll use this.
190
00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:43,628
Folding chair!
191
00:06:43,663 --> 00:06:44,596
Ow!
192
00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:45,664
DONN
What was that?!
193
00:06:46,832 --> 00:06:48,567
That was my
great-grandma's vase!
194
00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,335
On the drive up
from Virginia,
195
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,070
she kept that vase
'tween her legs.
196
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,506
W-What are you doing?!
197
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,641
Making sure you
learn your lesson.
198
00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:58,376
Ow! It hurts!
199
00:06:58,411 --> 00:06:59,578
It hurts!
200
00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:01,513
I can't believe Japanese men
201
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,248
pay good money for this.
202
00:07:03,282 --> 00:07:06,051
At work, I am
important businessman.
203
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:09,688
Here, I am bad boy!
204
00:07:14,492 --> 00:07:15,826
We now return to
205
00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:17,461
The Gay Bachelor.
206
00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:19,196
Ew, they're
all gross!
207
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,898
I'm keeping
the roses.
208
00:07:20,932 --> 00:07:23,534
Mom!
Mrs. Brown spanked me!
209
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,668
What?!
210
00:07:24,702 --> 00:07:26,970
And you still haven't
pulled up your pants?
211
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:28,105
Chris, what
happened?
212
00:07:28,139 --> 00:07:30,441
I was playing with Rallo
and I broke a vase
213
00:07:30,475 --> 00:07:32,342
and then she gave me
a spanking!
214
00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:35,045
Uh, I believe the term
is "whuppin'", Chris.
215
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,780
God, look at the size
of that handprint.
216
00:07:36,815 --> 00:07:38,315
It's like Doctor J.
217
00:07:38,349 --> 00:07:39,750
Peter, this
is serious!
218
00:07:39,784 --> 00:07:41,285
A woman hit
our child!
219
00:07:41,319 --> 00:07:42,953
What is wrong
with her?
220
00:07:42,987 --> 00:07:45,255
Whoa, can I get
some white bread
221
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,623
on that judgmental
sandwich?
222
00:07:46,658 --> 00:07:48,525
Brian, why are you
bringing race into this?
223
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,993
Lois, I've
spent my life
224
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,895
trying to keep
race out of things.
225
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,630
That's why whenever
I walk into Lids,
226
00:07:53,665 --> 00:07:54,965
every guy
fist-bumps me.
227
00:07:54,999 --> 00:07:56,667
Oh, you're
full of crap, Brian.
228
00:07:56,701 --> 00:07:58,335
I'm just saying,
Lois, some of us
229
00:07:58,369 --> 00:07:59,903
go through life
without seeing color.
230
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,972
That's because you're
color blind, Brian.
231
00:08:02,006 --> 00:08:02,973
You're right.
232
00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:04,408
I am color blind.
233
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,542
Here...
234
00:08:05,577 --> 00:08:06,743
and here.
235
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,812
Hey, remember when you
swallowed that rib-eye bone
236
00:08:08,847 --> 00:08:10,080
and you couldn't
poop it out?
237
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:11,381
And then you
pushed real hard
238
00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:13,250
and the poo came through
the rib eye hole?
239
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,986
Peter, we gotta go
over there and talk to Donna.
240
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,055
All right, but you need
to cool down first, Lois.
241
00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:19,523
Find a way
to channel your anger.
242
00:08:19,557 --> 00:08:21,859
What I do is throw
a shot put into a crowd
243
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:23,527
and make it look
like an accident.
244
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,867
I forgot to make it
look like an accident.
245
00:08:34,572 --> 00:08:36,139
That woman
is gonna be sorry
246
00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:37,774
she laid her hands
on our son.
247
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,343
Hello.
248
00:08:39,377 --> 00:08:40,577
Hi, j-just
so you know,
249
00:08:40,612 --> 00:08:41,812
this is sort of
Lois's thing.
250
00:08:41,846 --> 00:08:43,313
I-I'm not really
upset about it.
251
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,314
So... go
ahead, dear.
252
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,649
Donna, what gives you
253
00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:47,050
the right to
spank my child?
254
00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:49,419
It always smells like
the same meal over here.
255
00:08:49,454 --> 00:08:50,888
I hit him
for a reason.
256
00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:52,489
He broke my vase.
257
00:08:52,524 --> 00:08:54,525
And maybe I wouldn't have
to discipline your child
258
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,093
if you did
it yourself!
259
00:08:56,127 --> 00:08:57,227
Oh, please!
260
00:08:57,262 --> 00:08:58,862
The only thing kids
learn from spanking
261
00:08:58,897 --> 00:09:01,064
is adults don't have the
patience to teach them.
262
00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:02,232
Bull honkey.
263
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:03,233
What?!
264
00:09:03,268 --> 00:09:04,368
I don't spank,
265
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:06,069
and my children are
very well-behaved.
266
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:07,170
Oh, yeah?
267
00:09:07,205 --> 00:09:09,506
Your baby's on
the roof right now.
268
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,376
Stewie!
269
00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:14,011
You get down from there
this instant!
270
00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:15,279
Munch me, bitch!
271
00:09:15,313 --> 00:09:17,347
Right now, Stewie,
or you're in time-out!
272
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,116
How many gray pubes
you pluck today,
273
00:09:19,150 --> 00:09:20,117
you old bag?
274
00:09:20,151 --> 00:09:21,852
Your time-outs
are a joke.
275
00:09:21,886 --> 00:09:23,120
You're a
terrible parent.
276
00:09:23,154 --> 00:09:24,788
I'm a terrible
parent?!
277
00:09:24,822 --> 00:09:26,156
You're a child abuser!
278
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,291
You know what?
279
00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:29,126
From now on, I don't
want our families
280
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,861
having anything to do
with each other!
281
00:09:30,895 --> 00:09:33,056
Well, Cleveland, looks like
these two little alley cats
282
00:09:33,064 --> 00:09:34,831
have scrapped it out.
I'll see you tomorrow.
283
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,099
That includes
you, Peter.
284
00:09:36,134 --> 00:09:38,435
I don't want you ever
talking to Cleveland again.
285
00:09:38,469 --> 00:09:39,903
And Cleveland,
I forbid you
286
00:09:39,938 --> 00:09:42,072
from ever talking
to Peter again!
287
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,881
Hey, Lois, look!
288
00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:52,049
I'm smoking!
289
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,584
You can't control dick!
290
00:09:53,618 --> 00:09:55,819
I'm a roof baby now!
291
00:09:59,857 --> 00:10:01,558
So we're
making plans
292
00:10:01,593 --> 00:10:03,293
for Susie's first
birthday party.
293
00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:04,461
Oh, that's good bar talk.
294
00:10:04,495 --> 00:10:05,562
Hey, y'all..
295
00:10:05,597 --> 00:10:07,497
Oh, oh, uh, sorry,
Peter, I'll...
296
00:10:07,532 --> 00:10:08,498
I'll get
outta here.
297
00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:09,499
No, no, no, no,
I'll go.
298
00:10:09,534 --> 00:10:10,500
I'll go.
It's okay.
299
00:10:10,535 --> 00:10:11,602
What's goin' on?
300
00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:13,503
You guys touch
pee-pees or something?
301
00:10:13,538 --> 00:10:14,504
I wish.
302
00:10:14,539 --> 00:10:16,573
No, our wives
got in a big fight
303
00:10:16,608 --> 00:10:18,308
and banned us from
seeing each other.
304
00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:19,309
So what if they're in a fight?
305
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:20,944
What does that have
to do with you?
306
00:10:20,979 --> 00:10:22,412
Well, I gotta
live with Donna.
307
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,147
Uh-oh.
There she is.
308
00:10:25,516 --> 00:10:26,883
Oh, no!
Peter, quick!
309
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,185
Change pigments!
310
00:10:32,323 --> 00:10:34,424
That was close.
311
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,860
Peter, we can't risk
seeing each other.
312
00:10:36,894 --> 00:10:39,963
But, Cleveland, you and I are
pals, and I just got you back.
313
00:10:39,998 --> 00:10:41,832
Well, there might
be one solution.
314
00:10:41,866 --> 00:10:44,901
We just got to hang out where
there's no chance we'll be seen.
315
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,503
You know,
keep it a secret.
316
00:10:46,537 --> 00:10:47,838
Then that's what we'll do.
317
00:10:47,872 --> 00:10:49,606
'Cause I can't
lose you again, Cleveland.
318
00:10:49,641 --> 00:10:52,709
I'm closer to you than
I am to my own right hand.
319
00:10:52,744 --> 00:10:55,479
Oh, my God,
you like scrambled eggs, too?
320
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:57,614
Here, go ahead, have some.
321
00:10:57,649 --> 00:10:59,483
Whoa, that's a big bite there.
322
00:10:59,517 --> 00:11:00,684
Slow down, buddy.
323
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,655
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! He's choking!
324
00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:07,157
Thanks for coming.
325
00:11:07,191 --> 00:11:09,026
Thank you... Thank you...
326
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,060
Thanks for coming.
327
00:11:13,097 --> 00:11:14,765
Why you thought
it was appropriate
328
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,634
to show up here, Cheryl,
I have no idea.
329
00:11:21,105 --> 00:11:23,240
Are you sure this is
the best solution, Peter?
330
00:11:23,274 --> 00:11:25,342
I just figured a plane
is a safe place
331
00:11:25,376 --> 00:11:28,111
where you and I can hang out
and not be seen by our wives.
332
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,880
Oh, that makes sense.
So, what have you been up to?
333
00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:31,848
Yup, sorry, Cleveland, I'm gonna
have to cut you off there.
334
00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,316
Whenever I ride on a plane,
335
00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:35,519
I have to put on my
noise-cancelling head phones.
336
00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:38,255
Leaves me alone
with nothing but my thoughts.
337
00:11:38,289 --> 00:11:40,490
But I don't want
to kill all these people!
338
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,826
I don't care about the
alignment of the dark forces!
339
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:45,429
Leave me alone!
340
00:11:46,631 --> 00:11:48,365
I love my wife Donna.
341
00:11:48,399 --> 00:11:51,468
I wish she and Peter's wife
got along better.
342
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,904
That's why
we're on this airplane.
343
00:11:53,938 --> 00:11:56,073
I'm Cleveland.
344
00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:01,745
Ah, dang it!
345
00:12:04,649 --> 00:12:07,617
Do you have any idea how
fast you were going, sir?
346
00:12:07,652 --> 00:12:08,570
Peter?!
347
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,120
Hey, Cleveland, this
is just so we can talk
348
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,722
without getting spotted
by Lois and Donna.
349
00:12:11,756 --> 00:12:13,990
I need you to step
out of the car, sir.
350
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,659
Peter, there's got
to be a better way...
351
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,061
He's got a knife!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
352
00:12:18,096 --> 00:12:19,796
Sorry, Cleveland,
it's got to be authentic.
353
00:12:19,831 --> 00:12:21,431
Ow! Ow!
Stay down! Stay down!
354
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:22,999
Cleveland, try
to grab my gun.
355
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,135
Oh, trying to grab
my gun, are you?
356
00:12:25,169 --> 00:12:27,170
Ow! Ow!
357
00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:30,540
Hey, rookie, save some for me.
358
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:33,777
Wow, the whole
gang's back together.
359
00:12:33,811 --> 00:12:34,811
Shut up!
360
00:12:34,846 --> 00:12:36,513
We don't need you
in this town!
361
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,548
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
362
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:40,951
We don't need you in this town.
363
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,396
Oh, oh, oh, hi, Lois.
364
00:12:53,431 --> 00:12:54,871
You were with
Cleveland, weren't you?
365
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:55,866
No!
366
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,167
Then what were you doing?
367
00:12:57,201 --> 00:12:58,602
I'm, uh...
368
00:12:58,636 --> 00:13:00,036
I'm having an affair.
369
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,271
That's ridiculous.
370
00:13:01,305 --> 00:13:02,506
It's not ridiculous.
371
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:03,573
It's Cybill Shepherd.
372
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,275
She's attainable
for a guy like me now.
373
00:13:05,309 --> 00:13:06,610
Peter, enough lies.
374
00:13:06,644 --> 00:13:08,645
I know you were with Cleveland.
375
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,982
Until further notice,
you can sleep downstairs.
376
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,018
Aw, man.
377
00:13:15,052 --> 00:13:16,953
I wonder how it's going
for Cleveland.
378
00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,255
Cleveland, Get in here!
379
00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:19,689
And pull your pants down!
380
00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:25,195
At least turn me over
to my back side!
381
00:13:30,194 --> 00:13:31,528
We now return to
382
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,564
"Slightly Too Early Comedy Club
Audience Member."
383
00:13:34,598 --> 00:13:36,966
Not like when Clinton was
in the White House, huh?
384
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:38,401
When Clinton was
in the White House,
385
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,236
all you needed to vote was
a piece of duct tape and a...
386
00:13:41,539 --> 00:13:43,106
Yes, yes!
387
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,742
But things are different
with the Republican majority.
388
00:13:45,776 --> 00:13:47,811
They're totally in the pocket
of the oil companies.
389
00:13:47,845 --> 00:13:49,813
I mean, the President
of the United States
390
00:13:49,847 --> 00:13:51,147
might as well be...
391
00:13:51,182 --> 00:13:52,782
Amen! Why not?
392
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:54,284
Why not, right?
393
00:13:54,318 --> 00:13:56,086
But I guess
it could be worse.
394
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,454
The other day,
my wife asked me
395
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,155
if her ass looked fat
in her jeans.
396
00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,490
And I'm like, "Honey..."
397
00:14:00,524 --> 00:14:02,692
Oh, no!
398
00:14:02,726 --> 00:14:05,361
Wow. Wow!
399
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:07,630
Dad, what are you
doing down here?
400
00:14:07,665 --> 00:14:09,299
Eh, your mom's making me
sleep on the couch
401
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:10,967
'cause she caught me
hanging out with Cleveland.
402
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,068
How about you?
403
00:14:12,103 --> 00:14:14,104
Mom's making me sleep
in the basement.
404
00:14:14,138 --> 00:14:16,673
Sleeping lower in the house is
a big punishment for her.
405
00:14:16,707 --> 00:14:18,274
Well, this isn't working.
406
00:14:18,309 --> 00:14:19,642
I can't keep sneaking around
407
00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:20,998
trying to hang out
with Cleveland.
408
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:22,912
Maybe you could figure
out a way to get
409
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:24,781
Mom and Mrs. Brown
to be friends.
410
00:14:24,815 --> 00:14:26,549
Yeah, you know,
I bet I can.
411
00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:29,052
I mean, I'm the guy who figured
out how much eye contact
412
00:14:29,086 --> 00:14:31,454
a band should make
during a guitar solo.
413
00:14:35,092 --> 00:14:37,227
Yeah, we're in sync,
and showing others
414
00:14:37,261 --> 00:14:39,262
how much we love the song.
415
00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:44,000
Okay, okay, time
to turn away now, Vince.
416
00:14:45,769 --> 00:14:47,470
Come on, we got
a lot of song left!
417
00:14:47,505 --> 00:14:49,506
Turn away!
Look at something else!
418
00:14:51,242 --> 00:14:54,477
I'm glad you didn't listen.
419
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:00,383
Chris is right.
420
00:15:00,417 --> 00:15:01,751
I got to do something.
421
00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:59,209
All right, Cleveland, nothing
bonds women together like
422
00:15:59,243 --> 00:16:01,444
having to take care of invalid
husbands in the hospital.
423
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:03,079
What?
Don't die!
424
00:16:08,419 --> 00:16:09,552
Oh, Cleveland,
425
00:16:09,587 --> 00:16:13,456
I'm gonna hate
those Griffins forever.
426
00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:16,159
Only my side had airbags.
427
00:16:18,362 --> 00:16:20,396
Peter, what are we doing here?
428
00:16:20,431 --> 00:16:22,565
Well, women will
always band together
429
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,001
to stop an offensive art
exhibit from coming to town.
430
00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:27,804
So I've arranged for all
my photos of baby wieners
431
00:16:27,838 --> 00:16:29,572
to be put on display.
432
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:32,475
Oh, Peter, I'm gonna have
to call the police on this.
433
00:16:32,509 --> 00:16:34,010
What? Why?
434
00:16:34,044 --> 00:16:35,778
It's to get our wives
back together!
435
00:16:35,813 --> 00:16:37,714
Peter, these are
hundreds of naked babies
436
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,882
in suggestive situations!
437
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:42,752
And they're time-stamped
as far back as 1998,
438
00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:45,555
which is way before
we had this idea!
439
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:48,124
I need help!
440
00:16:50,361 --> 00:16:52,528
All right, Cleveland, one thing
that always bonds women
441
00:16:52,563 --> 00:16:54,230
is healing an abused animal.
442
00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:56,165
So I got us
an injured bald eagle.
443
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,101
Somebody put cigarettes out
all over him.
444
00:16:58,135 --> 00:16:59,802
Peter, that's a symbol
of our country.
445
00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,971
This particular eagle
is a dick.
446
00:17:02,006 --> 00:17:03,606
Everything out of its mouth
is a taunt.
447
00:17:03,641 --> 00:17:05,174
Peter, you're
being ridiculous.
448
00:17:05,209 --> 00:17:06,776
And you need to release
that eagle out into the...
449
00:17:08,212 --> 00:17:09,312
What'd that eagle say?
450
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,682
Lock the door.
451
00:17:18,722 --> 00:17:20,356
Peter, let's just
give Susie her gift,
452
00:17:20,391 --> 00:17:21,791
eat our cake and leave.
453
00:17:21,825 --> 00:17:24,594
I don't want to be here
with that Brown family.
454
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,030
That sounds even more racist
than it is.
455
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,500
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you...
456
00:17:30,534 --> 00:17:32,669
The Great Quagini!
457
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:35,104
Hey-ey, everybody!
There's the birthday girl!
458
00:17:35,139 --> 00:17:37,173
Oh, oh, what's that
behind your ear?
459
00:17:37,207 --> 00:17:39,008
Oh, it's a condom!
460
00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:42,111
Quagmire, please stop touching
my baby with a condom.
461
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:43,680
And for my next trick,
I'm gonna split
462
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,214
my beautiful assistant in half.
463
00:17:45,249 --> 00:17:47,250
And not the way you think.
464
00:17:47,284 --> 00:17:49,619
Won't be needing this.
465
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,754
Okay, time
for the three-legged race.
466
00:17:51,789 --> 00:17:53,423
Pair up, everyone.
467
00:17:53,457 --> 00:17:54,891
All right, Peter,
let's do it.
468
00:17:54,925 --> 00:17:56,926
You're my three-legged
race partner.
469
00:18:28,425 --> 00:18:30,193
No, Lois, I'm not
gonna be your partner.
470
00:18:30,227 --> 00:18:31,394
What?!
471
00:18:31,428 --> 00:18:32,829
I'm gonna be partners
with Cleveland.
472
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:34,130
Peter, I told you...
473
00:18:34,164 --> 00:18:36,299
And I'm telling you,
Cleveland and I have won
474
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,735
every three-legged race
in Quahog except that time
475
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,169
those two one-legged guys formed
476
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,171
the perfect running person.
477
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:44,741
Cleveland, what do you
think you're doing?!
478
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:45,808
Peter's right.
479
00:18:45,843 --> 00:18:47,510
We're friends and that's that.
480
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,779
This whole fight is ridiculous.
481
00:18:49,813 --> 00:18:53,549
Now, let's go win a
race with no prize.
482
00:18:58,422 --> 00:18:59,522
On your mark...
483
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,124
get set... go!
484
00:19:05,028 --> 00:19:07,463
Did you see that?
My dog had a gun.
485
00:19:07,498 --> 00:19:08,965
How are we doing?!
486
00:19:08,999 --> 00:19:10,233
Are we beating anyone?
487
00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:13,169
I waited too long
to pick a partner.
488
00:19:17,775 --> 00:19:19,675
Oh, my God!
Peter, are you okay?
489
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:21,177
I'm down!
I'm down, Cleveland!
490
00:19:21,211 --> 00:19:23,446
Go on without me!
Save yourself!
491
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,515
No, I won't leave you.
492
00:19:25,549 --> 00:19:29,285
We started this race together,
we're gonna finish it together.
493
00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:31,687
I'm gonna carry you, Peter!
494
00:19:35,459 --> 00:19:36,893
Oh, my God, Peter.
495
00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,261
I-I can't pick you up.
496
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:39,328
How much do you weigh?
497
00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:40,430
I don't know.
498
00:19:40,464 --> 00:19:42,498
My car can't go
up hills, though.
499
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:45,134
Well, then there's
only one solution.
500
00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:46,869
Hug and roll!
501
00:19:52,342 --> 00:19:54,610
Boy, those fools
sure do love each other.
502
00:19:54,645 --> 00:19:56,712
Yeah, I...
I guess they do.
503
00:19:56,747 --> 00:19:58,147
You know, Donna, they've
known each other
504
00:19:58,182 --> 00:19:59,749
a lot longer than we have.
505
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:00,817
That's true.
506
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,218
And if we're gonna be neighbors,
507
00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:05,488
we're gonna have to learn to
set aside our differences.
508
00:20:05,522 --> 00:20:06,589
Friends?
509
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,958
Friends.
510
00:20:08,992 --> 00:20:10,893
Mrs. Brown?
511
00:20:10,928 --> 00:20:13,696
I want you
to spank me again.
512
00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:15,565
We're gonna win!
We're gonna win!
513
00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:17,033
Not so fast.
514
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,377
Damn it!
515
00:20:32,382 --> 00:20:33,950
You know, Cleveland,
I got to say,
516
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,686
it's great having the old gang
back together again.
517
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,154
Well, it's great
being back.
518
00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:39,188
To Cleveland!
519
00:20:39,223 --> 00:20:40,189
To Cleveland!
520
00:20:40,224 --> 00:20:41,190
To Cleveland!
521
00:20:41,225 --> 00:20:42,992
To me!
522
00:20:44,085 --> 00:20:45,570
You know,
not a single person
523
00:20:45,571 --> 00:20:46,851
stopped watching
'cause you left.
524
00:20:48,639 --> 00:20:50,607
He doesn't have the guts
to say anything back.
525
00:20:50,641 --> 00:20:55,641
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man