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It seems today that all you see
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Is violence in movies and sex on TV
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But where are those
Good old-fashioned values
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On which we used to rely?
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Lucky there's a family guy
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Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
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All the things that make us
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Laugh and cry
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He's a family guy
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Aw, I can't wait to see
all my old classmates.
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This is gonna be
so much fun, isn't it, Peter?
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Oh, sure. It's a blast being in
a room full of people you don't know.
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I'd rather stay home
and watch grass grow.
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- Come on, you. Come on.
- Hey, Peter.
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Hey, Joe. Damn it!
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You're not uncomfortable, are you?
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Look, I'm just not wild about the idea of
running into anybody you used to date.
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- That's all.
- Oh, boy.
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- Speaking of exes. Here comes one now.
- Oh, man. This is what I was afraid of.
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If he tries anything,
I'm gonna kick him right in the ball...
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- gina?
- Peter, this is Naomi.
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Wait. You mean, you
two used to, you know...
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bump Japanese cartoon monkey
logo mouths?
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Well, let's just say Naomi and I
experimented quite a bit in college.
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No way! My wife messed
around with another chick?
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- Thank you, God!
- Don't mention it, Peter.
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Have fun!
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Naomi, I'm so glad you're here.
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I haven't seen you in, what, 20 years?
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Oh, it's great to see you too, Lois.
It really is.
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You know, the fact is, I came here
hoping to run into you.
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Really? Well, that's nice.
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You see, I'd like to propose something
to you and your husband.
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Oh, my God. I'm dreaming.
I'm dreaming right now.
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Well, of course, Naomi.
What did you have in mind?
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Well, this really isn't the place
to discuss it.
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It's just something I was wondering
if you and your husband...
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would participate in.
- I'm totally dreaming right now.
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Well, as long as I'm dreaming,
I might as well pee my pants.
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Well, Naomi, whatever it is,
I'm sure we'd be happy to help.
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Oh, my God. I don't believe it.
I'm gonna have a three-way!
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This even tops sex with a mermaid!
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- Where is it?
- Keep looking.
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- I can't find it anywhere.
- Keep looking.
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There's nothing but a fish tail
down there.
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- Keep looking.
- Oh, there we go.
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- That's not it.
- It's gonna be.
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We now return to
Nature with a guy named Terry in it.
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The cheetahs will feed
through the night.
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While the strongest made the kill,
the oldest will eat first.
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And there's Terry.
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She's gonna be here any minute.
You got to get out.
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Why do we have to leave, Dad?
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Because Daddy's
gonna have a three-way...
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with your mother and her friend.
Isn't that nice about Daddy's three-way?
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I had a one-way one time.
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That was amazing.
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Sorry I farted in the middle.
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All right, go on. Beat it, all of you!
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Peter, you're not gonna be having
a three-way. Lois isn't even into women.
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She just had one experience
in college with that girl, Naomi.
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Naomi's the one who's coming.
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Let me stay! Let me stay!
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- Peter, why are you so antsy?
- Because Naomi will be here shortly...
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and I'm anxious to get started.
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What do you mean?
We don't even know why she's coming.
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"We don't even know
why she's coming."
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You are so adorable.
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- I'm gonna do you second.
- Huh?
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Hi, Naomi. Did you pick up those
tear-away panties like I texted you?
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I didn't get a text from you.
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All right.
I'm not sure why, but I'll bite.
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- Hi, Naomi.
- Hello, Lois.
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- I want you to meet my husband, Dale.
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Dale.
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Dale? All right, I guess.
But I'm doing you last.
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Joke's on him. I only got two in me.
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- Lois, this is such a lovely home.
- Oh, thank you.
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Peter and I did it ourselves
on a shoestring.
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- Well, you could have fooled me.
- Oh, ha, ha.
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Well, let me show you around.
This here is our living room.
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All right, I got a few
porn scenarios for you to choose from.
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Hey, everybody. Got a pizza delivery
for this sorority house.
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Did somebody order sausage?
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Peter! What the hell are you doing?
Knock it off.
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Uh, we brought you some wine,
but it's best chilled before dinner.
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Oh, that is so nice of you.
Yeah, let's put it on ice.
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Oh, you'll have to excuse my kitchen.
I've been cooking all...
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Girls, I've just finished grading
your midterms and it's not good news.
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Looks like you're gonna
have to do some extra credit.
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Peter, what the hell?
I am so sorry about this.
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Look, dinner's just about ready.
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Why don't I get you seated in the dining
room and then we'll pour the wine?
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All right, new arrivals,
there's only one way...
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you're not getting on that train.
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We got a few hours to kill.
What do you want to do?
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00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,232
- Let's get something to eat.
- We don't have any money.
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Pull over there.
I'll get us some money.
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Now, wait. So the white ball
has to hit one of the stripy balls?
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Yes. How many times
you gonna ask me that?
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I don't know. I'm just a baby.
All right, so I guess I'II, um...
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- What is it you call it?
- Break.
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Break. Right, break.
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Oh, my God! Beginner's luck, huh?
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Start the car! Start the car! Go, go, go!
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- We been hustled!
- Nobody says that anymore.
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- What would you call it?
- I wouldn't comment on it.
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We know what happened.
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And so I went into corporate finance,
and that's where I met Dale.
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Six months later,
I was asking her to marry me.
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What took me so long, right?
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All right. We're running out of time.
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- We gonna get this orgy started or what?
- What?
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We are running out of time.
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Are we going to get
this orgy started or what?
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Oh, my God! You thought
that's what we were here for?
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- You're not?
- No!
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Well, then, what are you doing here?
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Dale and I found out
that we can't have children.
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We've conceived many times, but for
some reason the eggs won't attach.
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It was suggested I find
a woman who would consider...
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carrying our child to term.
And, well, Lois, that's why we're here.
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We were wondering if you would
be our surrogate.
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Oh, my God!
You want me to carry your child?
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- Yes.
- What?
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I don't know what this is about.
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But you're my best friend, and I'd like
to think that you'd do the same for me.
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Wait a minute.
So you guys can't have a baby?
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Unfortunately, no.
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Well, whose fault is it?
I mean, which one of you...
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has the thing that's horribly wrong
with them? Is it you, Naomi?
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- You got a bum cervix?
- Peter! It's nobody's fault.
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- Conception is complicated.
- Dale, it's you. You got a bum dong.
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Will you help us, Lois?
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Well, l... I'm honored
that you would ask me, Naomi.
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L... I'll have to think about it.
I mean, this is a life-altering choice.
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You know, like an Italian
choosing to get glasses.
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Okay, read the third row down, please.
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"A-A-O-A-O-O-A."
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Everyone, I have something to say.
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I've given this
long and careful thought.
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And I've decided to carry
Naomi and Dale's child for them.
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- You what?
- That's right.
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I want your blessing, Peter.
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You'll have my stool in your eye,
and that's all. You can't have their baby!
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Yeah, Mom. You get crazy
when you're pregnant.
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Mom, I can't find my jacket.
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Peter, take off that belt!
The buckle smells like acid!
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Look, I know it's an inconvenience,
but it's a wonderful gift...
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to be able to give someone.
So I am going through with it.
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Well, I support you, Lois.
I think it's great what you're doing.
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Yeah, great. You're treating
your vagina like a Red Roof Inn.
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She's doing something wonderful...
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for a couple who can't have children
and are too egotistical to adopt.
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You know what's interesting
about Lois's vagina?
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Everyone in this room has
been in there except for you.
156
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You're the only one
who doesn't know what it's like.
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Lois, I don't want you
pregnant for nine months...
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just to hand over the thing
when it comes out.
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I mean, why does it got to be you?
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Because they need a healthy female
body to carry the baby.
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I can do it.
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It was hard enough on your body
when you gave birth to Stewie.
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- What?
- Ha-ha-ha.
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I'm just joking!
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Oh, not cool.
166
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But really, Meg, you don't know
anything about this stuff.
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You've never even had a boyfriend
more than a few weeks.
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I have too.
Remember when I dated the Count?
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One nipple. Ha-ha-ha!
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Two nipples. Ha-ha-ha!
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Three nip...
Oh, hell, no. I'm out of here.
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All right, then. It's settled.
I'm gonna do this.
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No, you're not, Lois.
I'm sorry, but I forbid it!
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Oh, and I'm supposed to go along...
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with everything you decide
for both of us?
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Yes, Lois. That's how we coexist.
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00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,389
Just like I coexist with the tiny race
of people who live in our carpet.
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00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,638
Dad, what's that? I think I hear music.
179
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,597
Oh, that's the little people, Chris.
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00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,878
They're playing music so that I will
bless them with food.
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00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,990
Lois, Dale and I
just want to thank you again.
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00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:36,718
You're making us so happy.
183
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,235
Well, I wish my husband
felt the same way you do.
184
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,391
But he's just gonna have to accept it.
185
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:44,313
Mrs. Griffin, you should
understand a procedure like this...
186
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,075
is not without its risks. Here's what
happened when we fertilized an egg...
187
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,516
from Shelley Duvall
with a sperm from James Blunt.
188
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,114
Here's Hilary Swank and Gary Busey.
189
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,396
Florence Griffith-Joyner
and Stephen Hawking.
190
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,676
- Okay. I think that's enough.
- I got more funny ones.
191
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,239
I got Tina Fey and Joaquin Phoenix.
192
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,153
- Yeah, I think we're fine.
- Lot of face stuff going on.
193
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,039
- Let's just get to it.
- The eggs have been fertilized...
194
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,794
by means of intracytoplasmic
sperm injection.
195
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,916
And now the embryos
will be inserted.
196
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,871
The insertion procedure
will be performed...
197
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,917
by these South American Hovitos
blow-gunners.
198
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,878
Wait a minute. I don't want them
shooting things into my vagina.
199
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,271
Well, perhaps you could tell them,
if only you spoke Hovitos.
200
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,431
I can't believe
she went ahead and did it...
201
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,591
after I specifically told her
how I felt.
202
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,274
Clearly she believed it was
within her right to...
203
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,555
Lois just peed on something.
204
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,438
- Hey, Brian, you picking up on that?
- Yup.
205
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,034
It worked, everybody! I'm pregnant!
206
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,758
Damn it! This has gone too far!
207
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,229
And if I'm gonna do something about it,
it's got to be now.
208
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,517
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm not gonna do anything, Brian.
209
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,558
But sometimes things happen.
The house is a dangerous place...
210
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,030
for today's modern woman.
Rickety staircases, faulty wiring...
211
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,031
gay poltergeists.
212
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,712
Boo, to that outfit.
213
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,593
Lois, I've hired some 1980s
black break dancers...
214
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,557
to do their routine on your stomach.
215
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,109
Peter, come on! I'm having this baby
and that's the end of it.
216
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,714
But if they do it good enough,
they'll save the rec center...
217
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:24,079
from being torn down and replaced by
some mall. Ozone, Turbo, do your thing!
218
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:28,438
Oh, no. Lois, those are '90s black guys.
Those aren't '80s black guys at all! Run!
219
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,878
We're here to dance for the kids.
220
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:35,158
Run, '80s black guys!
You're no match for the '90s black guys!
221
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,558
Oh.
222
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:56,988
Ow.
223
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,110
Lois, I bet I can drink
more bleach than you.
224
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,670
Okay, you know what, Peter? Stop it!
I know you're not happy about this...
225
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,990
but I am pregnant
and I am having this baby.
226
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,912
So knock it off because I have had it!
227
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,356
No, I've had it! I don't want you
pregnant! You'll be fat and cranky.
228
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,829
Your boobs will get big.
You'll stop your period.
229
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,231
Wait. How do I feel about this?
No. No, I'm against it, I say.
230
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,154
Peter, this is important. Naomi and Dale
are placing their trust in us.
231
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:27,029
And besides, it's just nine months,
then everything will be back to normal.
232
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,634
We interrupt
this program for breaking news.
233
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:34,078
A devastating pileup on l-95 has injured
eight people and killed two others.
234
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,913
Naomi and Dale Robinson
were pronounced dead on arrival...
235
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,913
at Quahog Hospital.
- Oh, my God!
236
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,355
In other news, a local man
has won the lottery.
237
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,229
Lucky Quahog resident Dale Robinson
has hit the jackpo... Oh, boy.
238
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,194
I still just...
I can't believe they're gone.
239
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,271
They had their whole lives
ahead of them.
240
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,193
I'll be the one to say it.
What are you gonna do about the baby?
241
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,157
Let's keep it for parts!
242
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,276
You know, Lois,
you're not a young woman.
243
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,510
That baby's gonna be
chromosomally damaged...
244
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,990
like those cats you see
in the Special Anima-lympics.
245
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,119
So, Whiskers, how does it feel
to finally win your event...
246
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,599
after years of training?
247
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,596
Why don't you put the baby
up for adoption?
248
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:26,309
Well, what do we do until then? We can't
afford nine months of medical bills.
249
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,710
Well, you could have an abortion.
250
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,156
Well, there you go, Lois. We abort it.
Send it on up to Dale and Naomi.
251
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,880
If they left their mittens here
you wouldn't keep them.
252
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,918
- Send them back. Abort the thing.
- Oh, I don't know, Peter.
253
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,275
No harm visiting
the Family Planning Center...
254
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,228
just to see what your options are.
- Oh, it's such a big decision.
255
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,789
Of course it's a big decision.
Life is full of big decisions.
256
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,030
Like deciding whether or not
to have Indian food.
257
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,158
Lois, do I need to do anything
tomorrow that doesn't involve...
258
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,392
me being bent over in excruciating
pain 3 feet from a toilet?
259
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,075
No.
- Time for some tikka masala.
260
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,190
Doctor, I won't lie to you.
I'm a little uncertain about this.
261
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,157
That's perfectly natural, Mrs. Griffin.
262
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,630
And you should ask as many questions
as you can before you decide.
263
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,270
So how does it work, doc? You go
hacking at her like Sweeney Todd?
264
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:19,195
No, no. Good Lord! This is not 2005.
We've come a long way since then.
265
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,316
So you go stabbing in there
with a laser...
266
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,473
and you try to zap it out like burning
an ant with a magnifying glass?
267
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,392
- No, Mr. Griffin.
- What? So, what?
268
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,074
You hold her legs open
and send a pit bull in there?
269
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,231
You know, one of them
little rat hunting dogs?
270
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,550
And he comes back out with it
in his mouth and he goes:
271
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,599
And you can't get it away from him
because, you know, it's his thing.
272
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,878
No. Mr. Griffin, it's a very simple, safe
procedure in which we very precisely...
273
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,271
and delicately remove the embryo.
We do it all the time.
274
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,908
And I promise, it's virtually risk free.
275
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,833
Well, I have to say
I feel a little better about it.
276
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,275
I think this may be
the right thing to do.
277
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,954
Mrs. Griffin,
we have a saying around here:
278
00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,954
- Let's keep abortion safe, legal, and rare.
- Okay. Well, why don't you get started?
279
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,874
I'm gonna go sit in the car and pretend
like I'm driving. I'm gonna be in a race.
280
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,517
Hey, what are you guys
bellyaching about?
281
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,274
Sir, we are doing all that we can
to stop the killing...
282
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,352
of millions of unborn babies.
If you have a few moments...
283
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,431
I'd like you to watch
this video presentation.
284
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,319
Yeah, I got a few minutes.
My wife's getting an abortion.
285
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:30,110
Hello, friend. I hear you're
contemplating having an abortion.
286
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,714
But before you do, remember,
science has proven...
287
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,350
that within hours of conception,
a fetus has started a college fund...
288
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,229
and has already made your first
Mother's Day card out of macaroni.
289
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,113
Aw!
290
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,158
But don't take my word for it.
Just ask my little friend Ziggy.
291
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,754
Hi! I'm Ziggy the Zygote.
292
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,469
I'm looking forward to being
an active member of your community.
293
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,959
Can I hug you?
294
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,031
Ha-ha-ha. Of course you can, Ziggy.
295
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,636
Because even though they're not
visible yet, you already have tiny arms.
296
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,395
Arms that will one day work,
play, and fold in prayer.
297
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,757
- Yay!
- But uh-oh, what's this?
298
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,239
Oh, my God!
299
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,836
Well, he's gone, just like so many
other promising human lives...
300
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,070
who were probably snuffed out
by abortion.
301
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,390
Like the guy
who would have killed Hitler.
302
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,437
Nice going, Schweinhund!
303
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,192
The fourth Stooge. That's right.
304
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,351
There were supposed
to be four Stooges.
305
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,750
It was gonna be hilarious!
306
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,515
And Osama bin Laden's
America-Ioving older brother.
307
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,591
I would have talked him out of it!
308
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,309
Wow, thanks a lot for 9/11,
abortion enthusiasts.
309
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,550
And remember,
not only is abortion murder...
310
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,190
but it's also larceny, jaywalking,
and securities fraud.
311
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,952
Did you know the baby you abort...
312
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,873
may also have a baby inside of it
that you're aborting?
313
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,554
Now that you know this,
do you want an abortion?
314
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,836
No! No, I do not!
315
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,556
Peter, what the hell are you doing?
Have you lost your mind?
316
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,554
Don't you worry, unborn fetus child.
I am here to save you and protect you.
317
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,153
I have seen the light!
318
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,039
Bless you, sir.
You should be very proud of yourself.
319
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,760
Oh, I am. Prouder than
when I was a peacock.
320
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,388
Griffin, nice work
on the Anderson account.
321
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,479
So how did it go at the clinic?
322
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,200
Fine at first,
but then there was a complication.
323
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,954
- We have decided against the procedure.
- Really? Why?
324
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,792
Because it's killing babies, Brian.
325
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,997
If God wanted us to kill babies,
he'd make them all Chinese girls.
326
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,230
Peter, it's not a baby.
It's a fertilized egg.
327
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,834
- It's the size of a pin tip.
- It's alive, isn't it?
328
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,070
To kill any living thing is an abortion.
329
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,835
The man outside the clinic told me.
And he had a t-shirt on that confirmed it.
330
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,274
Okay. Well, sperm is alive.
331
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,829
And every time you masturbate,
millions of them die.
332
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,592
So is it wrong to kill sperm?
333
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,352
Yes. Yes, it is.
334
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,431
No more masturbating in this house.
335
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,113
- What?
- Why?
336
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:05,872
Because masturbation is abortion.
337
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,554
But abortion helps me
get my homework done...
338
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,995
and sometimes I abort in my sleep.
339
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,991
What am I supposed to do about that?
340
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,037
Peter, I'm sorry
if you disagree with me.
341
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,953
But according to the law,
it is still my right to choose...
342
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,793
what I do with my body.
- Well, the law is wrong, Lois!
343
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,032
Okay, Peter, if you're so pro-life,
let me ask you this.
344
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,192
Would you go down to the orphanage
and claim an unwanted baby...
345
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,828
and take care of it?
- I'm here to save the unborn.
346
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,389
Once out of the vagina,
they can go fuck themselves.
347
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,233
What's inside Lois won't be
remotely human for six months.
348
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,914
There's no brain activity
until at least the 27th week.
349
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,550
It's still a person. It's a woman's
responsibility to carry it to term.
350
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:42,948
Well, what if a woman is raped?
351
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,350
Should've thought
before she asked me for directions.
352
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,317
- Huh?
- What about incest, Peter?
353
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,311
- What's incest?
- You know how Cousin Lou...
354
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,311
has that kid whose eyes touch?
355
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,516
You're saying Touch Eyes
doesn't deserve to exist?
356
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,671
You don't mind him
when you want a needle threaded.
357
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,116
- They should have had the option.
- How can you say that?
358
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,999
Think of all the love he's given
to Uncle Mom and Aunt Dad?
359
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,628
Okay, this isn't working.
What if carrying the baby to term...
360
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,233
would endanger the mother's life?
361
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,072
I don't know seven of those words.
362
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,756
What if you see that the baby's gonna
be born with no arms and no legs?
363
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,114
You name it Mat.
364
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,556
Peter, I honestly don't care
what you say.
365
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,473
I am going back to that clinic
and I'm having that abortion.
366
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,551
- Oh, no, you're not!
- Oh, yes, I am!
367
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,994
Now, you get out of my way.
368
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,912
You go and I'll blow the place up!
369
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,435
- You wouldn't.
- You've seen Family Guy. I would.
370
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,830
So, what,
you'd kill a bunch of doctors...
371
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,072
to show them that killing is wrong?
Does that make sense to you, Peter?
372
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,912
- Well...
- Does it?
373
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,399
I...
374
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,791
guess not.
- So, what the hell do we do, huh?
375
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,552
I mean,
we're not gonna solve anything...
376
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,109
by standing here
screaming at each other.
377
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,316
You and I are in this together, Peter.
378
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,678
And whatever we decide, we both have
to agree that it's the right thing to do.
379
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:52,955
Well, so now what?
380
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,793
I say we go upstairs
and have a long talk.
381
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,030
And we don't come down
until we've made a decision...
382
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,394
that we both can live with.
383
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:01,948
All right, Lois.
384
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,230
Well, I think we made
the right decision.
385
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,914
I mean, sure, having a baby
costs a fortune.
386
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,832
There's cutbacks on things we love.
387
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,709
There's diapers, and crying,
and late nights with no sleep.
388
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,475
Flu shots, and mumps,
and driver's ed, and college tuition.
389
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,868
But you know what?
390
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,395
It's one more person
to share the world with.
391
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,313
Another little voice
in the back seat of the car.
392
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,677
One more Griffin to love
and to love us in return.
393
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,749
We had the abortion.