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¶ it seems today that all you see ¶
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¶ is violence in movies and sex on tv ¶
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¶ but where are those good ol
d-fashioned values ¶
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¶ on which we used to rely? ¶
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¶ lucky there's a family guy ¶
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¶ lucky there's a man
who positively can do ¶
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¶ all the things that make us ¶
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¶ laugh and cry ¶
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¶ he's... A... Fam... Ily... Guy! ¶
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Good evening. I'm diane simmons.
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In traffic news, heavy gridlock
on the 195 interchange.
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We now go live to drunk billy
in the channel 5 newscopter.
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This just in.
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Channel 5 newscopter pilot
drunk billy passed away today.
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In anticipation of this event,
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We put together a clip package
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Featuring some of billy's
work for channel 5 news.
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(people screaming)
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"I'm still hungry,
" said the very hungry caterpillar.
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"but you've already..."
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Drunk billy will be missed.
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But what you shouldn't
miss is the quahog rodeo,
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Coming to the civic center this Friday.
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Tickets are on sale now.
26
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And for those of you who
are handy with a horse,
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Entry spots are still open.
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Oh, god, this seems like
the kind of thing peter...
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Too late, brian.
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Peter, you're gonna enter the rodeo?
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That's stupid.
32
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You don't know anything about horses,
33
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And you're in terrible shape.
34
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You know, that's the difference
between you and me, lois.
35
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:42,867
When life comes knocking at the door,
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You go and hide in the kitchen.
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I fling the door wide open and I say,
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"peter griffin here. What do you got?"
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And if that don't convince you,
look at this.
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In this week's tv guide, it says,
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"peter gets more than he bargained for
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When he joins the rodeo."
43
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Well, it's in the guide.
44
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Hey, can we make that a thing?
45
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Can we start calling tv guide, "the
guide"?
46
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You know what? I'm not even asking anymore.
47
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That's what we're doing.
48
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Who says I couldn't be a rodeo star?
49
00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:06,024
I got more cowboy blood
in me than billy the kid.
50
00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:11,796
¶ well, he robbed his way
from utah to oklahoma ¶
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¶ and the law just could not
seem to track him down ¶
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¶ and it served his legend well ¶
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¶ for the folks, they loved to tell ¶
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¶ about when billy the kid came to town. ¶
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¶ ¶
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(song ends)
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Hyah!
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(screams)
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00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:23,835
Dad, what are you doing?!
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00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,036
All right, meg, this is only gonna hurt
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For about three weeks.
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What the hell?
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That there's my steer, griffin.
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All right, lois. Go ahead. Say it.
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(groans)
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00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:43,554
Chris, it's time for supper.
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00:03:43,622 --> 00:03:45,023
Ho der, ho der, ho der!
68
00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:46,691
Ho der, ho der, ho der, ho der!
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00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,993
Ho der, ho der, ho der! Ho der, ho der!
70
00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,962
Ho der, ho der, ho der.
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00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,665
(softly) ho der, ho der, ho der.
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Ho der.
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00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:58,403
All right. I am ready for the rodeo.
74
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:04,242
Mom, when's it dad's turn?
75
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:05,476
I don't know, chris.
76
00:04:05,544 --> 00:04:07,278
But I think we should
all pray for your father
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00:04:07,346 --> 00:04:08,913
That he comes out of this uninjured.
78
00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:10,448
Those horses stink.
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00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:11,983
And it's too hot in here.
80
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:15,053
I fell asleep in the car, so now I'm cranky.
81
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,121
This is a disgusting display.
82
00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:18,423
Boy, you can say that again.
83
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:21,526
Nothing like a bunch of adult
men teasing animals for fun.
84
00:04:21,593 --> 00:04:23,428
It's amazing that this is still legal.
85
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:24,729
The only reason I'm here
86
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:26,831
Is 'cause my idiot friend is in the rodeo.
87
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,000
I only came 'cause I'm
writing a magazine article.
88
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,368
One of the competitors
89
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,603
Is a 13-year-old female riding prodigy.
90
00:04:32,671 --> 00:04:34,405
Apparently she got on the bull to miscarry,
91
00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:36,541
And found out she had a talent for it.
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00:04:36,608 --> 00:04:39,944
Announcer (over speaker): Ladies and
gentlemen, give an indifferent east coast
welcome
93
00:04:40,012 --> 00:04:42,814
To the newest bullrider, peter the kid!
94
00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:48,286
(screams)
95
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:50,355
You know what I am back at the ranch?
96
00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:52,256
I'm a breeding bull.
97
00:04:52,324 --> 00:04:53,858
W-what-what's that?
98
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,994
You gonna find out. (gasps)
99
00:04:56,061 --> 00:04:57,095
Where you goin', fatty?
100
00:04:57,162 --> 00:04:58,296
We gonna have a party.
101
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,497
(screaming)
102
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:00,798
No! No!
103
00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:04,168
(screaming)
104
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:06,204
(sobbing)
105
00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:07,572
No! No!
106
00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:09,440
(screaming)
107
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:11,309
So, what magazine do you write for?
108
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,810
I'm the editor for teen people.
109
00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:14,178
Editor?
110
00:05:14,246 --> 00:05:16,848
Well, gosh, you know,
I'm something of a writer myself.
111
00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:18,983
I-I wrote for the new yorker
for a little while.
112
00:05:19,051 --> 00:05:20,451
Wow, that's impressive.
113
00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:21,552
Are you looking for work?
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Oh, no. No, no, no.
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I-I never have to look too far for that.
116
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I... W-w-what are you...
117
00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:27,358
What do you... What-what do you got?
118
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:29,193
Well, we're looking for
someone to write a piece
119
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On the everyday activities
120
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,230
Of the average american teenage girl.
121
00:05:32,297 --> 00:05:34,232
Oh, I love teenage girls.
122
00:05:34,299 --> 00:05:35,633
It's all ahead of them, you know?
123
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,135
They haven't turned into bitches yet.
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Oh, it's true.
125
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What happened to all of us?
126
00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:43,374
I got a house on the cape.
Maybe you come visit.
127
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(feebly): Maybe.
128
00:05:44,943 --> 00:05:46,811
Maybe you call a few days in advance
129
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To give me time to get the house clean.
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Okay.
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00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:50,648
Maybe you bring a blazer,
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So we can go to a wider
range of restaurants.
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I'll-I'll bring a blazer.
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You see this, rupert?
135
00:05:58,757 --> 00:06:00,591
Most children build a sand castle.
136
00:06:00,659 --> 00:06:04,062
But I'm building a sand retreat
for singles in their 30s.
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(deep voice): Hi, I'm jeremy.
138
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,732
I work in corporate finance.
139
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(high voice): Hi, I'm a french canadian girl
140
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Down here on my vacation.
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It's a big deal for me to
be down here on my own.
142
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I like the swimming pool with a bar in it
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'cause you can sit on a barstool
and you're in the water.
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(deep voice): I like how all
the food and drink is included
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In the price of the ticket.
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(high voice): Yeah, that way you don't have
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To bring your cash down from the room.
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(deep voice): Okay, I was just
looking for a friend of mine,
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So maybe I'll see you later.
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(high voice): Good for you, janine.
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00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:37,628
You promised yourself you'd
talk to somebody and you did it.
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(normal voice): Brian,
what are you doing up there?
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Shh. I'm writing an article
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On teenage girls for a magazine.
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I'm studying meg to see
what goes on during her day.
156
00:06:44,636 --> 00:06:46,404
Well, be careful you don't
fall off that ladder.
157
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Not all dogs go to heaven.
158
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So, says here you were involved
159
00:06:49,908 --> 00:06:51,576
In the plotting of September 11?
160
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:54,879
Well, that's what they get
for supporting israel.
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00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,748
Hyuck, yuck, yuck. Gawsh.
162
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Okay, into the eternal pit of fire you go.
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Wa-hoo-hoo-hoo-ee!
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You know, brian, just because
you're writing a profile
165
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On teenage girls, it doesn't mean you have
166
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:15,666
To be a creepy stalker and
follow meg around all day.
167
00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:16,934
It's called research, stewie.
168
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:17,902
I'm just being thorough.
169
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Where the hell is she going?
170
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There's nothing out in this part of town.
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What is that, brian?
172
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What is an adult correctional institute?
173
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It's a prison, stewie.
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Ah.
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00:07:30,415 --> 00:07:32,049
One would think they could just say that.
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00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:37,555
Hi, meg.
177
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,789
Hi, luke.
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00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:48,232
(both gasp)
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00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,534
Oh, my god.
180
00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:51,702
Meg's dating a convict!
181
00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:54,071
Oh looks like consuela's son is in prison.
182
00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:56,641
I see you soon, rodrigo.
183
00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:58,543
Si, mama.
184
00:08:06,169 --> 00:08:07,869
It's really good to see you, meg.
185
00:08:07,937 --> 00:08:09,104
It's been a while.
186
00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:10,772
I know. I'm sorry, luke.
187
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,207
It's just so hard to get over here
188
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Without anybody finding out.
189
00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,677
Have you gotten all the letters
and hair that I've sent?
190
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It's the only thing
191
00:08:16,979 --> 00:08:18,480
That's getting me by, meg. Thank you.
192
00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:19,981
How'd your parole hearing go?
193
00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:21,383
Not good.
194
00:08:21,451 --> 00:08:23,285
Looks like I'm gonna be in
here another three years.
195
00:08:23,353 --> 00:08:24,753
Oh, luke.
196
00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,621
Oh, I don't expect you to wait for me, meg.
197
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:27,723
No, I will, luke.
198
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,291
If it takes ten years or 20 years,
199
00:08:29,359 --> 00:08:30,992
I will be here when you get out.
200
00:08:40,703 --> 00:08:42,237
Oh, my god!
201
00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:43,872
Meg's involved with a convict!
202
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,907
Wow, meg's like one of those crazy chicks
203
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:48,110
Who hooks up with an even crazier guy.
204
00:08:53,249 --> 00:08:54,616
Brian, you bastard!
205
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:56,084
How could you do this to me?!
206
00:08:56,152 --> 00:08:57,886
I'm sorry, meg. I had to tell them!
207
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,521
Don't give him crap for this, meg.
208
00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:01,690
He did exactly the right
thing by coming to us.
209
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,759
Don't you know what kind of fire
210
00:09:03,826 --> 00:09:05,227
You're playing with, dating a prisoner?
211
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,262
Hold on, lois. This is
some serious parenting.
212
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:09,798
I'm gonna go put on my cosby sweater.
213
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,567
Mom, you don't understand!
214
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,269
Luke and I really connect, very deeply!
215
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:17,239
He's all alone in there,
and I'm all alone out here.
216
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,274
In a way, we're both in prison.
217
00:09:19,342 --> 00:09:21,276
Well, meg, there's a big difference there.
218
00:09:21,344 --> 00:09:22,644
He's in prison for a reason.
219
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:23,979
He broke the law!
220
00:09:24,047 --> 00:09:25,581
He robbed a convenience store
221
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,816
To pay for medication for his mom.
222
00:09:27,884 --> 00:09:30,953
Oh, I'm sure he gave you a
very convincing sob story.
223
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,455
It's not a sob story! It's true!
224
00:09:33,523 --> 00:09:35,057
Frankly, I don't care, meg.
225
00:09:35,124 --> 00:09:36,925
I do not want you seeing him again!
226
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,060
I can't find the sweater.
227
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:39,528
How the hell did you even meet him?!
228
00:09:39,596 --> 00:09:41,196
We had a pen pal project at school,
229
00:09:41,264 --> 00:09:42,431
And when it was over,
230
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,366
Luke and I just kind of
kept writing to each other.
231
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,634
Well, it stops now!
232
00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:47,469
But, mom, I love him!
233
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:49,037
It stops now, meg!
234
00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:50,872
Your mother's right, meg.
You got to be careful
235
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,407
Who you get involved with romantically.
236
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:53,575
(cell phone rings)
237
00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:54,810
Hello?
238
00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:55,944
I'm in the mood for some coitus.
239
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,412
Get over here.
240
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,647
I can't. I'm with my family.
241
00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:00,782
Pick up wine on the way.
242
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,151
Well, angela, if I'm
really the only guy at work
243
00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:05,721
Who can solve it, I'll be right there.
244
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,725
(sobbing)
245
00:10:11,294 --> 00:10:12,527
(rapping at window)
246
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:13,762
(gasps)
247
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,031
Luke!
248
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:17,399
What are you doing here?!
249
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,767
I escaped, meg.
250
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,168
I escaped 'cause I just couldn't bear
251
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,503
Another second away from you.
252
00:10:21,571 --> 00:10:23,572
My god, how did you get out?
253
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,540
I filed down a toothbrush to a fine point
254
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,175
And stabbed the guard with the most kids.
255
00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:28,877
What?! I'm just kidding.
256
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:32,014
Oh. I'm still getting used
to your sense of humor.
257
00:10:32,081 --> 00:10:34,149
Actually, there was a
riot in the prison yard,
258
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,417
And I slipped over the fence.
259
00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:37,352
Well, well, quick, get in
here before somebody sees you!
260
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,427
Oh, meg, I've wanted to do that for so long.
261
00:10:45,495 --> 00:10:47,929
And it's nice to be in front
of someone for a change.
262
00:10:47,997 --> 00:10:49,264
(laughing)
263
00:10:49,332 --> 00:10:51,833
Now I know that was a joke!
264
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,101
(laughs) whatever.
265
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:54,503
Hey, meg?
266
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,171
Can I talk to you for a second?
267
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,939
(rustling, door closing)
268
00:10:58,007 --> 00:11:01,043
Meg: Uh, yeah, come on in.
269
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:04,980
Listen, uh, I feel like
I should explain myself
270
00:11:05,048 --> 00:11:06,248
A little bit here.
271
00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:08,583
I'm sorry I had to tell
lois what was going on.
272
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,152
You just, you gotta realize
273
00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:11,787
I was only thinking about your safety and...
274
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:14,089
(man sneezes)
275
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,558
(growls)
276
00:11:16,626 --> 00:11:18,727
Luke, you might as well come out now.
277
00:11:20,129 --> 00:11:22,164
Luke! What the...
? They let you out of jail?!
278
00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:23,865
Not exactly.
279
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,735
He broke out to see me, brian.
We're in love.
280
00:11:26,803 --> 00:11:28,136
Meg, are you crazy?!
281
00:11:28,204 --> 00:11:29,805
You can't harbor a fugitive.
That's a felony.
282
00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:30,872
Only if someone finds out.
283
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,274
Are you gonna do it?
284
00:11:32,342 --> 00:11:33,742
Are you gonna tell on me again?
285
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:34,943
Well, I, I...
286
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:37,179
Brian, will you call me
on my mickey mouse phone?
287
00:11:37,246 --> 00:11:38,280
Wait a second.
288
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,315
Why is that guy wearing a prison jumpsuit?
289
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:41,316
Think, peter, think.
290
00:11:41,384 --> 00:11:43,685
Wait. Hang on.
291
00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:45,354
Sunday, Sunday... Here it is.
292
00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:47,089
"peter gets more than he bargains for
293
00:11:47,156 --> 00:11:49,591
When he joins the rodeo." boy, did I.
294
00:11:49,659 --> 00:11:51,593
"and meg dates a prison escapee"!
295
00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:53,628
Oh, no! Luke, run!
296
00:11:56,733 --> 00:11:58,166
Joe, it's peter! Two things:
297
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,869
First of all, when I was over
at your house the other day,
298
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,205
I forgot to tell you how
much I like the rearrangement
299
00:12:03,272 --> 00:12:05,040
You and bonnie did with
your living room furniture.
300
00:12:05,108 --> 00:12:06,575
Second of all, come outside!
301
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,377
There's an escaped convict
running across the street!
302
00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:25,093
No, luke, don't run downhill!
303
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:35,036
You're going to jail, punk!
304
00:12:38,741 --> 00:12:40,776
No, mr. Swanson, you can't take him!
305
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,177
Yes, I can, meg.
306
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:43,779
He's going back to jail.
307
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,180
Well, if you're taking him to jail,
308
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:46,515
You have to take me, too!
309
00:12:46,582 --> 00:12:47,849
I know. That's the plan.
310
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:51,086
You're under arrest for
harboring an escaped convict.
311
00:12:51,154 --> 00:12:53,088
Oh, well, that's only
fair because after all,
312
00:12:53,156 --> 00:12:54,656
I did hide him from the...
313
00:12:54,724 --> 00:12:55,690
What?!
314
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:05,267
Uh, hi.
315
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:08,603
Did you also get caught
trying to vote in ohio?
316
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,643
Well, this is it.
317
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,111
Meg gets out of jail today.
318
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:18,413
Already? It seems like just
yesterday we rented her room
319
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:21,383
To that fly that wants to leave,
but can't figure it out.
320
00:13:21,451 --> 00:13:22,984
(buzzing)
321
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,085
Fly: Okay, now where now?
322
00:13:24,153 --> 00:13:25,120
Peter: Right there.
323
00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:26,555
I'm having some trouble here.
324
00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:28,390
It's right there!
It's right in front of you!
325
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,525
Okay, I can hear you.
Volume's not a problem.
326
00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:32,461
I'm just not quite seeing
what you're referring to.
327
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:33,929
Okay, then fly, fly out the window.
328
00:13:33,996 --> 00:13:35,764
Up here maybe? No, to your left!
329
00:13:35,832 --> 00:13:37,499
No, that's not it. That's just more wall.
330
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,401
How many eyes do you have, huh?!
331
00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:41,937
Just two, same number as you,
but I can't, I'm not...
332
00:13:42,004 --> 00:13:43,371
Just go! Oh, my god!
333
00:13:43,439 --> 00:13:44,840
Whatever it is you're driving at,
334
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,107
I'm just apparently not getting it...
335
00:13:46,175 --> 00:13:47,342
You're right there!
336
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,844
...So I'm just gonna go back upstairs.
337
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,480
I think we should all go
together to pick meg up.
338
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:53,882
She's probably a little fragile
after being in there so long,
339
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:56,518
And I'm sure she'll be
heartened to see our faces.
340
00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:00,589
I'm home. You're all my bitches now.
341
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,291
Okay.
342
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:09,296
Meg! You look so different.
343
00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:10,330
How was prison?
344
00:14:10,398 --> 00:14:11,765
First question:
345
00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,134
Who's the biggest,
toughest guy in this house?
346
00:14:14,202 --> 00:14:16,103
Well, I don't like to toot my own horn,
347
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:17,738
But I believe I hold the
distinction... (grunts)
348
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,841
(grunting)
349
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:28,315
My house now, bitch!
350
00:14:28,383 --> 00:14:29,850
Now who's the funniest?
351
00:14:29,918 --> 00:14:31,518
I know my way around a joke.
352
00:14:31,586 --> 00:14:33,420
(gasping, grunting)
353
00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:34,888
For god's sake, dad,
354
00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:37,324
Have some humility! It'll save your life!
355
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:41,428
There better be beer in the fridge.
356
00:14:41,496 --> 00:14:44,264
Boy, I liked her better when
she was more predictable...
357
00:14:44,332 --> 00:14:46,767
Like the stock photos
on a corporate website.
358
00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:49,002
I'm a woman in a lab coat wearing goggles,
359
00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:51,405
Staring intently at a beaker
that I'm holding near my face.
360
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,073
I'm a latino in a hardhat,
361
00:14:53,141 --> 00:14:55,809
But I'm also wearing a tie
so you know I'm a supervisor.
362
00:14:55,877 --> 00:14:57,911
We're college students
listening to our professor,
363
00:14:57,979 --> 00:15:01,148
But the class is taking
place outside?!
364
00:15:04,285 --> 00:15:06,353
(water running)
365
00:15:08,223 --> 00:15:09,523
Hey.
366
00:15:09,591 --> 00:15:11,892
Meg! What the hell are you doing in here?!
367
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,961
Shower time. Yeah, for me.
368
00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:16,130
Not-not for... What are you
doing with that loofah?
369
00:15:16,197 --> 00:15:17,097
Don't worry about it.
370
00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:19,133
(peter screams)
371
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,201
You told me not to worry about it!
372
00:15:21,269 --> 00:15:23,704
I shoulda been worried the whole time!
373
00:15:25,907 --> 00:15:29,076
Meg, honey? I did all your laundry.
374
00:15:29,144 --> 00:15:32,079
Oh, my god, what is that smell?
375
00:15:32,147 --> 00:15:33,247
It's my poop bucket.
376
00:15:33,314 --> 00:15:34,481
What the hell?!
377
00:15:34,549 --> 00:15:36,817
I'm used to going to the
bathroom in my room.
378
00:15:36,885 --> 00:15:38,385
That's disgusting!
379
00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:40,854
No, you use the toilet
here like everyone else!
380
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,623
No. Ugh!
381
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,091
God, it smells horrible!
382
00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:46,827
Well, can you at least empty
it each time you use it?
383
00:15:46,895 --> 00:15:48,428
I like to fill it up.
384
00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:49,830
I'm not making a million trips.
385
00:15:49,898 --> 00:15:53,200
Oh, my god, are you using
my shirts as toilet paper?
386
00:15:53,268 --> 00:15:54,368
Yeah. And I think
387
00:15:54,435 --> 00:15:56,737
I might need some right now.
388
00:15:56,804 --> 00:15:59,673
Get out now or stay and get weird.
389
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,208
Your call, warden.
390
00:16:05,813 --> 00:16:07,548
Hey, who's the new dude?
391
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:09,183
Oh, my god, that's meg griffin!
392
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,418
She just got out of prison!
393
00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:13,654
Hey, meg, what'd they put you in jail for,
394
00:16:13,721 --> 00:16:14,755
Being ugly?
395
00:16:14,822 --> 00:16:16,490
(all laugh)
396
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,991
Hey, meg, what happened?
397
00:16:18,059 --> 00:16:19,826
Did you get out early for fat behavior?
398
00:16:19,894 --> 00:16:21,562
(all laugh)
399
00:16:21,629 --> 00:16:22,829
Nice tattoo.
400
00:16:22,897 --> 00:16:24,598
Did you get your butt hair braided, too,
401
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,400
While you were in there? (all laugh)
402
00:16:26,467 --> 00:16:28,635
What'd you do, carve a gun out of soap
403
00:16:28,703 --> 00:16:31,371
And then not wash with it? Ha-ha! P.U.
404
00:16:31,439 --> 00:16:33,040
(all laugh)
405
00:16:33,107 --> 00:16:35,642
Hey, meg, are you gonna take those soda cans
406
00:16:35,710 --> 00:16:37,611
To the shawskank redemption center?
407
00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:38,579
(all laugh)
408
00:16:51,926 --> 00:16:54,228
Peter, meg's been suspended from school.
409
00:16:54,295 --> 00:16:55,963
That's okay. Whatever she wants to do.
410
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:57,931
She cracked three kids' skulls open!
411
00:16:57,999 --> 00:16:59,800
Ever since she's gotten out of prison,
412
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:01,602
She is completely out of control.
413
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:03,070
Don't you see?
414
00:17:03,137 --> 00:17:05,072
That's what the penal
system does in this country.
415
00:17:05,139 --> 00:17:06,607
It turns small-time offenders
into hardened criminals.
416
00:17:06,674 --> 00:17:08,976
Look at meg. They took
an innocent little girl
417
00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:11,378
And turned her into a psychotic,
sociopathic freak.
418
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,180
(all gasp)
419
00:17:13,248 --> 00:17:14,514
What'd you say, brian?
420
00:17:14,582 --> 00:17:17,017
Oh, I-I was just picking
up on something lois said.
421
00:17:17,085 --> 00:17:18,585
What-what was it? What'd you say, lois?
422
00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:20,020
Something about meg being a freak?
423
00:17:20,088 --> 00:17:22,189
Oh, no, I didn't say anything.
424
00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:23,857
Uh, peter said something about meg,
425
00:17:23,925 --> 00:17:25,626
Which I completely disagree with.
426
00:17:25,693 --> 00:17:26,960
That-that-that wasn't me.
427
00:17:27,028 --> 00:17:28,662
Stewie was really laying
into meg about something.
428
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:29,563
Yeah, it was stewie.
429
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:30,697
Definitely stewie.
430
00:17:30,765 --> 00:17:32,499
Oh, so now everyone understands me.
431
00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:35,035
Look, meg, we're just worried about you.
432
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,170
Well, don't. I can take care of myself.
433
00:17:37,238 --> 00:17:39,239
I'll be outta here by the end of the week.
434
00:17:39,307 --> 00:17:41,141
Punch yourself in the face.
435
00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:42,175
(whimpers)
436
00:17:42,243 --> 00:17:43,477
Punch yourself in the face!
437
00:17:43,544 --> 00:17:44,745
(whimpering)
438
00:17:44,812 --> 00:17:46,613
All right, he doesn't know what he's doing.
439
00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:49,616
You, fatso, punch your baby in the fa...
440
00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:50,851
I did good, meg?
441
00:17:50,918 --> 00:17:52,753
Shut up.
442
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:55,789
I did good. I did good.
443
00:18:04,265 --> 00:18:05,465
Drive.
444
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:08,068
Uh, any particular direction?
445
00:18:08,136 --> 00:18:09,136
That way.
446
00:18:11,639 --> 00:18:13,206
You're gonna help me get some money
447
00:18:13,274 --> 00:18:14,908
So I can get out of this town.
448
00:18:14,976 --> 00:18:16,376
Really? Where are you gonna go?
449
00:18:16,444 --> 00:18:18,545
I don't know. Somewhere far away.
450
00:18:18,613 --> 00:18:20,447
Maybe china.
451
00:18:20,515 --> 00:18:22,149
I hear they got nascar there now.
452
00:18:25,286 --> 00:18:27,854
(yelling in mandarin)
453
00:18:30,024 --> 00:18:33,293
What kind of birdhouse can
you build with popsicles,
454
00:18:33,361 --> 00:18:34,728
Roofies, and a mallet?
455
00:18:34,796 --> 00:18:38,432
It's for a rare african bird called "
nunya business."
456
00:18:41,035 --> 00:18:42,736
Hi, meg. Can I help you?
457
00:18:42,804 --> 00:18:44,838
Hands in the air, goldman!
458
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:47,007
Oh, my god, what are you doing?!
459
00:18:47,075 --> 00:18:48,008
Gimme your money!
460
00:18:48,076 --> 00:18:49,810
Here, here, just take this jar
461
00:18:49,877 --> 00:18:51,044
For the leukemia kids.
462
00:18:51,112 --> 00:18:52,646
I don't give it to 'em anyhow.
463
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,014
Meg, put down the gun.
464
00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:55,682
Brian, get back in the car!
465
00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:59,186
Look, don't do this. This isn't you, meg.
466
00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:01,088
What happened to the girl we used to know?
467
00:19:01,155 --> 00:19:03,023
The one that luke fell in love with?
468
00:19:03,091 --> 00:19:04,391
The one he's expecting to see
469
00:19:04,459 --> 00:19:06,593
When he steps out of
that prison in 40 years?
470
00:19:06,661 --> 00:19:07,994
I don't care about luke.
471
00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:10,430
I don't need him. I don't need anyone!
472
00:19:10,498 --> 00:19:12,099
Look, if you don't put the gun down,
473
00:19:12,166 --> 00:19:13,734
I'm gonna be forced to call the police.
474
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:15,235
Good! Call the police!
475
00:19:15,303 --> 00:19:16,370
I want you to!
476
00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:18,538
What do I care if I go back to prison?
477
00:19:18,606 --> 00:19:19,873
Nobody cares about me anyway!
478
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,641
You're wrong, meg.
479
00:19:21,709 --> 00:19:23,377
I wanna show you something.
480
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,215
Teen people?
481
00:19:28,282 --> 00:19:30,050
It's the article I wrote about you.
482
00:19:30,118 --> 00:19:32,452
You wrote an article about me?
483
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,520
They wanted a story
484
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,288
About a typical teenage girl.
485
00:19:35,356 --> 00:19:39,025
Is it "a fistful of backne:
Tale of a teenage loser"?
486
00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:41,395
Yeah, they make the title.
Read paragraph three.
487
00:19:41,462 --> 00:19:43,163
Mort: This isn't a library, you know.
488
00:19:43,231 --> 00:19:45,665
"and in the face of every
adolescent challenge,
489
00:19:45,733 --> 00:19:47,968
"she looks at the world through hopeful eyes
490
00:19:48,035 --> 00:19:50,003
"and maintains an uncommon resilience
491
00:19:50,071 --> 00:19:51,538
"that can only be admired.
492
00:19:51,606 --> 00:19:55,208
"in this sense, meg griffin is
not the typical american girl.
493
00:19:55,276 --> 00:19:58,545
She is far sweeter and kinder than that."
494
00:19:58,613 --> 00:20:01,581
Oh, god, that is so nice, brian.
495
00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:03,016
Did you mean all that?
496
00:20:03,084 --> 00:20:04,484
Of course I did.
497
00:20:04,552 --> 00:20:07,254
Oh, my god, I-I can't believe I did this.
498
00:20:07,321 --> 00:20:10,590
I was just so tired of being
everyone's whipping girl
499
00:20:10,658 --> 00:20:13,059
That it felt kind of good
to do some of the whipping.
500
00:20:13,127 --> 00:20:14,795
Give me the gun, meg.
501
00:20:17,598 --> 00:20:20,133
Thanks for reminding me who I really am.
502
00:20:25,773 --> 00:20:27,507
Well, at least I didn't get robbed.
503
00:20:27,575 --> 00:20:28,942
(bell over door chiming)
504
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:32,446
And what can I do for you four
fine black gentlemen today?
505
00:20:36,617 --> 00:20:39,586
I got to say, meg, I like you
so much better like this.
506
00:20:39,654 --> 00:20:41,021
Me, too, meg.
507
00:20:41,088 --> 00:20:42,856
God, it must have been horrible in there.
508
00:20:42,924 --> 00:20:44,257
It wasn't so bad.
509
00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:45,992
I met wesley snipes. Is that right?
510
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:48,094
Yeah. Oh, and you know what's funny?
511
00:20:48,162 --> 00:20:49,863
He was inmate 57, too.
512
00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:50,730
Huh?
513
00:20:50,798 --> 00:20:52,732
He was inmate 57?
514
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,235
See, he did a movie called
passenger 57.
515
00:20:55,303 --> 00:20:56,369
Ah.
516
00:20:56,437 --> 00:20:57,838
Well, terrific.
517
00:20:57,905 --> 00:21:00,106
Always end on a strong joke.
518
00:21:00,174 --> 00:21:06,877
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com