1 00:00:04,844 --> 00:00:10,870 Family Guy 7x02 I dream of Jesus 2 00:00:12,871 --> 00:00:16,720 made by reaper http://familyguyrussia.com/ 3 00:00:24,844 --> 00:00:31,871 You know kids, there's a lot of history here. This 50's dinos were very popular in the 80's. 4 00:00:30,871 --> 00:00:32,482 Boy, I'm gonna enjoy this meal. 5 00:00:32,483 --> 00:00:35,952 Not like last night when I didn't have time to poop before the guests arrived. 6 00:00:36,532 --> 00:00:38,972 Left time? You know what, I'm gonna go for it. 7 00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:44,932 Son of a bitch! Looks like I have to pile dinner on top of... HEY GUYS HOW ARE YE! 8 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:48,802 Look at this place. They don't serve any of this 1950-food anymore. 9 00:00:48,803 --> 00:00:55,039 Hamburgers, french fries, cokes. He-he, you kids don't know what I'm talking about. 10 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,488 I love how service looks like stars from the 50's. 11 00:00:58,773 --> 00:01:04,838 Marilyn Monroe. Elvis. And look there's James Dean after the accident. 12 00:01:04,839 --> 00:01:07,569 Can I tell you about tonights specials? 13 00:01:08,223 --> 00:01:10,349 Oh, look, Cleveland finally made it. 14 00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:12,079 Oh, hey there Griffins. 15 00:01:14,214 --> 00:01:16,313 Oh, that takes me back. 16 00:01:19,332 --> 00:01:21,068 Hey! What are you, a robot? 17 00:01:21,069 --> 00:01:24,628 No son. It's the 1950's and I have polio. 18 00:01:24,629 --> 00:01:27,091 Wow, I've never heared of that before. 19 00:01:27,092 --> 00:01:32,734 Oh yeah Chris. Poilo back then was like AIDS today. Except people who have polio get in to heaven. 20 00:01:36,377 --> 00:01:41,733 Oh my God! This is Surfin' Bird by The Thrashmen. This is my favorite song of all time. 21 00:01:54,927 --> 00:01:57,226 Chris don't you know about the bird? 22 00:01:57,227 --> 00:01:59,621 Meg, everybody knows that the bird is the word! 23 00:02:02,201 --> 00:02:04,445 Hey, the guy behind the counter, the bird is the word! 24 00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:06,910 Hey, frightened little child, the bird is the word. 25 00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:09,337 Lady on the toilet, the bird is the word. 26 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,769 Hey, don't you know about the bird? 27 00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:14,206 Sure, everybody knows that the bird is the word. 28 00:02:17,495 --> 00:02:19,416 I get it, I get it, I love repetition. 29 00:02:21,852 --> 00:02:23,116 Hey what the big idea? 30 00:02:23,117 --> 00:02:26,195 This song from the 1960's, it shouldn't be in this jukebox. 31 00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:28,556 Wait wait! Can I have that record? I love that song. 32 00:02:28,557 --> 00:02:31,022 I'll let you have sex with my daughter. 33 00:02:31,023 --> 00:02:33,215 I don't know, let's see what you daughter looks like. 34 00:02:33,216 --> 00:02:37,048 She's... er... right there. 35 00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:42,207 Okay. I'll do her. But can you tell her to cry and beg me to stop? 36 00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:44,839 I think this can be arranged. 37 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:54,258 Peter will you give this song a rest? It've been playing since we've got home. 38 00:02:54,259 --> 00:02:56,897 No way Lois, it's my new favorite thing in the world. 39 00:02:56,898 --> 00:02:57,480 Argh... 40 00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:01,791 Lois... I'm gonna ask you this only once 41 00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:06,504 Do you or do you not know about the bird? 42 00:03:06,505 --> 00:03:07,487 Oh God! 43 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,826 'Cause everybody's heared that the bird is the word... 44 00:03:15,516 --> 00:03:16,095 Aw... 45 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,101 Oh God! Sorry, sorry, sorry. 46 00:03:18,102 --> 00:03:20,070 Look, just go to sleep all right? 47 00:03:35,705 --> 00:03:37,698 Peter, I have a mammogramm in the morning. 48 00:03:42,383 --> 00:03:43,932 Brian, can I see this paper for a sec? 49 00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:49,665 Huh... That's odd I thought that would be big news. 50 00:03:49,666 --> 00:03:51,148 You thought what would be big news? 51 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:55,542 Well there seems to be an absence of a certain onophylogical piece. 52 00:03:55,543 --> 00:04:00,678 A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avion variety 53 00:04:00,679 --> 00:04:01,780 What are you talking about? 54 00:04:01,781 --> 00:04:02,982 Oh, have you not heared? 55 00:04:02,983 --> 00:04:05,558 It was my understanding that everyone have heared. 56 00:04:05,559 --> 00:04:06,728 Heared what? Brian, don't! 57 00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:18,827 Brian don't you know about the bird? 58 00:04:18,828 --> 00:04:21,301 Well, Peter's gonna tell you about the bird. 59 00:04:36,983 --> 00:04:38,374 Oh my God! Peter are you all right? 60 00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:59,582 Peter I was just at the bank and they told me you withdrew six thousand dollars cash from our savings. 61 00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:02,403 That's almost everything we have! What the hell was it for? 62 00:05:02,404 --> 00:05:07,416 I bought some local TV air time, Lois, and I did a public service announcement of vital importance. 63 00:05:08,293 --> 00:05:09,398 Thank you. 64 00:05:09,399 --> 00:05:10,715 Hi. I'm Peter Griffin. 65 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:15,396 You know there's an issue facing many americans today that are no concern a great number of us. 66 00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:20,735 According to Gallup polls one in twelve americans is unaware that the bird is the word. 67 00:05:20,736 --> 00:05:24,604 I for one dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word. 68 00:05:30,074 --> 00:05:31,838 My God! It's agrossable. 69 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,925 Have the boys at the lab confirm this? 70 00:05:33,926 --> 00:05:38,375 Sir! Our math show that the bird is equal to or greater than the word. 71 00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:39,381 Sick(?) it again! 72 00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:46,043 Brian? Yeah. 73 00:05:46,044 --> 00:05:48,531 I don't feel so good. 74 00:05:51,082 --> 00:05:52,984 All right, that's it! We gotta do something about this. 75 00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:55,267 We have to get this record and destroy it. 76 00:05:55,268 --> 00:05:58,950 Just like that fat person surgery destroyed Star Jones' arms. 77 00:06:00,324 --> 00:06:03,394 I look so good. I lost almost weight. 78 00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:04,813 TAXI! 79 00:06:06,739 --> 00:06:09,303 Coming to show to people how good I look. 80 00:06:41,147 --> 00:06:43,000 WHO!? DID IT!? 81 00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:44,745 Who did what, pop? 82 00:06:44,746 --> 00:06:46,441 Yes Peter, what has you upset? 83 00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:49,159 Surfin' bird is gone! 84 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,009 I took it to bed, had sex with it. It fell asleep in my arms and this morning it's gone. 85 00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:55,476 Well Peter, nobody here would steal from you. 86 00:06:55,477 --> 00:06:57,093 Oh, no one had a motive Lois? 87 00:06:57,094 --> 00:06:58,852 You all had a motive, every one here. 88 00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,163 You knew that I changed my will and left everything to the record. 89 00:07:01,164 --> 00:07:02,587 And that's why you wanted the record out of the way. 90 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:06,294 Meg wanted to get a passport for her twin sister to get her out of the country but the record wouldn't allow it. 91 00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,845 But Meg didn't count on me discover she has no twin sister. 92 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,309 And Meg itself was recently released from the sanitarium. 93 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,842 And that's where Chris came into the picture. 94 00:07:12,843 --> 00:07:14,812 So you got it all figured out, do you? 95 00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:17,084 You couldn't leave well enough(?) alone. 96 00:07:17,085 --> 00:07:19,421 You won't fire Chris, you don't got the stomach for it. 97 00:07:21,465 --> 00:07:23,644 I'm sorry dad, I've no idea what are you talking about. 98 00:07:23,645 --> 00:07:27,376 Well, it's sure is odd. A record doesn't just get up and walk away. 99 00:07:27,377 --> 00:07:29,481 Except for my old Allen Shaman record. 100 00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:32,539 If you ain't gonna play me, don't complain when I try to split. 101 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:36,458 There's a lot of jews out there still get a laugh of a "hello mother, hello father". 102 00:07:37,232 --> 00:07:40,150 Whoo, such heat this morning I don't need this jacket. 103 00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:44,170 Well, a hell with all of you. I'm going downtown and buy another copy of Surfin' Bird. 104 00:07:44,911 --> 00:07:48,015 Peter that's not necessary. I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere. 105 00:07:48,016 --> 00:07:49,400 I wouldn't count on it Lois. 106 00:09:01,989 --> 00:09:04,387 Do you have Surfin' Bird by The Thrashmen? 107 00:09:04,388 --> 00:09:08,454 No, I'm sorry. Dog and a baby came in and bought all 63 copies. 108 00:09:08,455 --> 00:09:11,457 Damn it, this is third used record store with the same story. 109 00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:16,008 You are... You look familiar. Do I, do I know you? 110 00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:18,253 Did you go into North Providence high school? 111 00:09:18,254 --> 00:09:18,681 No. 112 00:09:18,682 --> 00:09:21,028 You friends with Gary who owns a drycleaners? 113 00:09:21,029 --> 00:09:21,623 No. 114 00:09:22,524 --> 00:09:23,705 Are you Jesus Christ? 115 00:09:23,706 --> 00:09:24,276 No... 116 00:09:24,277 --> 00:09:27,315 Oh my God! You are, you Jesus Christ! 117 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:30,095 No, I'm not. I'm just the guy working at a record store. 118 00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:35,212 Huh! Well if you're not Jesus Christ, then you won't mind if I pee on this Amy Grant CD's. 119 00:09:35,213 --> 00:09:35,711 Don't... 120 00:09:35,712 --> 00:09:37,147 Aha, you are Jesus. 121 00:09:37,148 --> 00:09:38,794 Yes. I am. 122 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:43,280 Oh my God! Jesus Christ, the Messiah, you've returned. 123 00:09:43,281 --> 00:09:45,351 You've returned to bring us the good word! 124 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,344 What word? 125 00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:05,317 Jesus Christ has returned to Earth. I can't believe it. 126 00:10:05,318 --> 00:10:06,393 The Second Coming. 127 00:10:06,394 --> 00:10:08,723 Will you keep it down? It's not the second coming. 128 00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:10,550 Okay, so what are you doing here? 129 00:10:10,551 --> 00:10:13,939 Well, believe it or not, I pop in every hundred years or so. 130 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,611 Kinda incognito. Just to get away from the family. 131 00:10:16,612 --> 00:10:20,820 Plus the timing seem good, 'cause my dad just quit smoking and is a little on edge. 132 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:26,984 Who took my checkbook? Helen! Why is there pencap and no pen? 133 00:10:26,985 --> 00:10:29,927 You're the first person to reckognize me in two thousand years. 134 00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:33,180 You seem like a nice guy. Won't you come over to my house for dinner tonight? 135 00:10:33,181 --> 00:10:35,086 Okay. But I don't get off until 7. 136 00:10:35,087 --> 00:10:40,324 Great! We'll have a blast. After we eat we can watch that youtube footage of Milly Metlin calling moviephone. 137 00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:44,233 Please say the name of the movie you'd like to see NOW. 138 00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:45,787 De nast memty. 139 00:10:45,788 --> 00:10:47,759 I'm sorry I didn't catch that. 140 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,363 Please say the name of the movie you'd like to see NOW. 141 00:10:51,364 --> 00:10:53,810 De nast memty. 142 00:10:53,811 --> 00:10:56,272 You have selected Three Hundred. 143 00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:59,997 If this is the movie you'd like to see, say yes NOW. 144 00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:00,843 NO! 145 00:11:00,844 --> 00:11:03,714 You have confirmed Three Hundred. 146 00:11:07,599 --> 00:11:12,656 Wow! Jesus Christ at our dinner table. I still can't get over it. 147 00:11:12,657 --> 00:11:14,678 I'm actually glad you're all here tonight. 148 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:17,635 I wanted tell you that one of you will betray me. 149 00:11:19,186 --> 00:11:19,867 Just kidding. 150 00:11:19,868 --> 00:11:23,279 He's doing this thing he did in this story book. 151 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,686 So Jesus finish that story you were telling us. 152 00:11:25,687 --> 00:11:30,764 Oh, all right. So there I was. They just beaten me senseless. Stuck thorns in my head. 153 00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:35,423 Nailed me to the piece of wood. Showed the spunch full of vinegar in my mouth and killed me. 154 00:11:35,424 --> 00:11:39,234 Then they put me into hole with a rock in front of it for two whole days. 155 00:11:39,235 --> 00:11:41,922 And come sunday BAM, I rise from the dead. 156 00:11:41,923 --> 00:11:45,046 Okay, that's a naughty weekend but I can trump it. 157 00:11:45,047 --> 00:11:48,426 So me and Cleveland and Joe are just wrecked on certain comfort right? 158 00:11:48,427 --> 00:11:52,088 We know we gonna puke but Joe says "Hey let's see Chronicles of Riddick" 159 00:11:52,089 --> 00:11:56,926 Sat through the whole thing without puke and when I get home wouldn't you know I lost my glasses. 160 00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:59,619 Huh? Peter 1 - Jesus 0 161 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:04,349 Ah, you know Jesus if I go get myself on, would you mind talking to my friend Neil Goldman? 162 00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:07,046 I really just want to rub her jewish nose in this. 163 00:12:07,047 --> 00:12:10,652 All right, I'll be the one to say it. How do we know you really Jesus? 164 00:12:10,653 --> 00:12:11,890 Can you perform miracles? 165 00:12:11,891 --> 00:12:14,060 Sure. How about this? 166 00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:19,046 Oh boy! Sundays! I love you Jesus. 167 00:12:19,047 --> 00:12:20,851 I love you too fella. 168 00:12:20,852 --> 00:12:22,670 Hey Jesus can you do something for me? 169 00:12:22,671 --> 00:12:24,000 Sure Peter, what is it? 170 00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:36,578 Say listen Jesus, I know you try to keep a low profile but 171 00:12:36,579 --> 00:12:39,038 there's one person I really want you to meet. 172 00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:40,158 Oh yeah, who's that? 173 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:45,194 The american people may have turned against the war but I answer to a higher power. 174 00:12:45,195 --> 00:12:48,280 I answer to a power of Jesus Christ. 175 00:12:48,281 --> 00:12:51,525 Oh, that's funny, because I happen to have Jesus Christ right here. 176 00:12:51,526 --> 00:12:55,135 I've heared what you're saying. You know nothing of my work. 177 00:12:55,136 --> 00:12:58,264 How you ever got to be president of anything is totally amazing. 178 00:12:58,265 --> 00:13:00,378 Wouldn't it be great if life will like this? 179 00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:05,458 Hey listen Jesus, thanks for coming by tonight and hanging out with us. 180 00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:08,667 You may look like bum but you've got a lot of talent, young man. 181 00:13:08,668 --> 00:13:11,682 Yeah, I've forgot how great it is interacting with other people. 182 00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:14,884 Well, I better get some sleep, I gotta open the store tomorrow. 183 00:13:14,885 --> 00:13:18,191 Ah, you don't wanna get back to that record store. You gotta get back out there. 184 00:13:18,192 --> 00:13:20,125 Color an eggs and hide them for kids. 185 00:13:20,126 --> 00:13:22,958 What? You mean reveal myself? 186 00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:28,766 Absolutely. This world needs you, Jesus. It needs you like the guy who can't get it up needs a distraction. 187 00:13:30,029 --> 00:13:33,811 I'm so ready to have sex with you. Oh, is that my phone? 188 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,243 I don't hear anything. 189 00:13:35,244 --> 00:13:36,770 Is that John Aston? 190 00:13:36,771 --> 00:13:38,355 I don't see anyone out there. 191 00:13:38,356 --> 00:13:41,262 Oh, well now, there's so much going on. 192 00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:44,782 You know you're right, Peter. It may be time. But how do we do it? 193 00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:52,264 Everyone, may I have your attention please. I would like to introduce you to the one, the only... Jesus Christ. 194 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:55,801 That's right. That's Jesus Christ. Right here. 195 00:13:56,979 --> 00:13:59,103 Jesus Christ Yeah right. 196 00:13:59,491 --> 00:14:03,557 Look at these idiots, they don't even listening. You know what, we gotta prove it to them. 197 00:14:03,558 --> 00:14:07,337 Listen, I'm gonna go to that supermarket and get some water and you gonna turn it into wine. 198 00:14:07,338 --> 00:14:10,359 Okay, cool. Can you get me a Cracked magazine? 199 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,163 Cracked? 200 00:14:11,361 --> 00:14:11,529 Yeah. 201 00:14:12,198 --> 00:14:14,803 Jesus Christ unbelieveable. All right, I'll be back. 202 00:14:18,573 --> 00:14:19,410 Ah, crap! 203 00:14:19,411 --> 00:14:20,428 Don't worry, I'll get it. 204 00:14:27,038 --> 00:14:31,858 Ah... Woo... Oh my god... Jesus... It's Jesus Christ... 205 00:14:31,859 --> 00:14:35,571 And his best pal Peter, ah-ah... wow... 206 00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:43,960 15 minutes Mr. Christ. 207 00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:47,993 Wow, Jesus, can you believe you gonna get to meet Jay Leno. 208 00:14:47,994 --> 00:14:55,291 Mom, why is it there when Jesus revealed himself to the world, he become famous and when I did, I've got suspended for 5 days. 209 00:14:55,292 --> 00:14:59,226 You know, I ove this all to you Peter. You game me the confidence I needed. 210 00:14:59,227 --> 00:15:02,380 Ah, never mind about that pal. You just go out and knock 'em dead. 211 00:15:02,381 --> 00:15:04,599 Now, who are you? Jesus Christ. 212 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,387 Who are you?! Jesus Christ! 213 00:15:06,388 --> 00:15:08,138 WHO ARE YOU?!! JESUS CHRIST!!! 214 00:15:08,139 --> 00:15:08,793 NOW GO GET 'EM!!! 215 00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:14,679 My face again to Dave Coulier. Season 3 of Full House is out on DVD March 5th. 216 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,783 My next guest died for our sins and now it looks like he's back on the scene. 217 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:21,882 Please welcome from the Bible, Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus. 218 00:15:27,546 --> 00:15:29,202 Oh well, Jesus, welcome to the show. 219 00:15:29,203 --> 00:15:30,702 Thanks Jay, glad to be here. 220 00:15:30,703 --> 00:15:32,921 So, Jesus, so what've you been doing since you been back? 221 00:15:32,922 --> 00:15:37,805 Oh, you know kinda buming around, playing a little color duty for even a lot of pinkberry. 222 00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:41,392 blah-blah-blah 223 00:15:41,393 --> 00:15:43,377 I've been sampling the night life out here. 224 00:15:43,378 --> 00:15:47,608 I raised River Fenix from the dead then we went out to the viperome and DOD again. 225 00:15:47,609 --> 00:15:52,632 blah-blah-blah 226 00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:55,682 Jesus Christ everybody. Will be right back with Jess Stone. 227 00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:05,673 Did you see that? He made Jay Leno laugh. This guy is gonna be huge. 228 00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:24,058 Now back to the MTV Movie Awards hosted by Dane Cook. 229 00:16:24,059 --> 00:16:29,685 Hey everybody watsup? Dane Cook here indahaus. At the MTV Movie Awards. Watsup, watsup. 230 00:16:29,686 --> 00:16:32,712 Hey you know what I hate? When you eat an ice cream cone and it's all like cold. 231 00:16:34,402 --> 00:16:36,905 And you like "Why didn't you warn me that it's so cold?" 232 00:16:36,906 --> 00:16:38,611 And he's like "It's ice cream, dude". 233 00:16:38,612 --> 00:16:42,122 And you like "Oh, man". But chicks don't do this because they use a spoon. 234 00:16:42,123 --> 00:16:45,489 Argh. Watsup. Sufight. Poo. MySpace. 235 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:47,230 Is he saying something funny? 236 00:16:47,231 --> 00:16:50,136 I don't know but he's moving around a lot, so I guess. 237 00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:52,414 Ha-hah. He was on the internet Neumann college. Ha-hah. 238 00:16:52,415 --> 00:16:57,909 And now to present the award for sickest unscreen gangsta pimpbound breathness... 239 00:16:57,910 --> 00:17:00,556 Jesus Christ and the pussycat dolls. 240 00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:07,438 Hey Jesus. That's my buddy Jesus. 241 00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:14,762 Boy. Who would have thought, me, Peter Griffin, the guy you just two weeks ago drew a smily face on his own testicle to make his son laugh. 242 00:17:15,926 --> 00:17:19,069 Well, I've lost my trained thought. But yeah, that's my buddy Jesus. 243 00:17:19,363 --> 00:17:23,085 Hey, It's a pleasure to be here with you, six interchangeable women. 244 00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:26,694 Last time I was down here on earth I only hung around with one whore. 245 00:17:36,711 --> 00:17:38,631 C'mon guys, let's head over to my crib. 246 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,702 Hey, you guys mind scooting over around a little bit? 247 00:17:41,703 --> 00:17:44,559 Oh, sorry Peter, doesn't look like there any room. 248 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,344 What? What do you mean? 249 00:17:46,345 --> 00:17:49,524 Well, there's only one space left and I promised it to that cow. 250 00:17:49,525 --> 00:17:55,493 This is gonna be so much fun. I'm gonna stick my head out the sunroof and wave my arms "Whoo, I'm in Hollywood!" 251 00:17:56,846 --> 00:17:59,892 Whoo, I'm in Hollywood! Gee, I've said I'll do it. 252 00:18:03,797 --> 00:18:06,324 Peter, would you put that thing away, we're trying to eat dinner. 253 00:18:06,325 --> 00:18:10,198 I can't believe Jesus hasn't call me back. I left him a message like 4 hours ago. 254 00:18:10,199 --> 00:18:12,189 Well, maybe he doesn't have his phone with him. 255 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:14,850 No, no, I rang twice and then a voice mail picked up. 256 00:18:14,851 --> 00:18:17,790 If it gone straight to voice mail that means the phone was off. 257 00:18:17,791 --> 00:18:21,650 If I rang like 6 times that means he didn't hear it but I rang twice Lois. 258 00:18:21,651 --> 00:18:26,608 That means a phone rang, he saw it was me and then he pressed a button and sent it straight to voice mail. 259 00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:28,732 You know what, give me your phone, I bet he'll pick up. 260 00:18:30,441 --> 00:18:32,251 Hehey Lois. 261 00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:35,872 Hey you. It's Peter. What the hell we were supposed to do something today. 262 00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:40,294 Ah... Forgot to tell you, I've a doctor's appointment today, I'm actually there now. 263 00:18:40,295 --> 00:18:42,755 Hey look, Lindsay Lohan took her top off. 264 00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:46,722 Heeey, I've just drink a beer, who wants to do me? 265 00:18:46,723 --> 00:18:50,041 I do. Me too. I just did you, but I'll go again. 266 00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:50,748 I gotta go. 267 00:18:50,749 --> 00:18:53,568 Can you believe the way Jesus has treatened me? 268 00:18:53,569 --> 00:18:55,102 I thought he was my friend. 269 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,566 Fame and success do crazy things to people Peter. 270 00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:01,836 I'm sure deep down he's still the same old Jesus. 271 00:19:01,837 --> 00:19:04,306 He may just need to figure that out in his own way. 272 00:19:04,307 --> 00:19:06,741 Maybe. But one thing is for sure Lois. 273 00:19:06,742 --> 00:19:11,537 None of this would have happen if somebody haven't stolen my fucking Surfin' Bird record!!! 274 00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:20,060 Tonights top story: Local record shop employee Jesus Christ was found 275 00:19:20,061 --> 00:19:23,468 in Mary-Kate Olsons apartment this morning face down and unconcious. 276 00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:27,367 Police revived and arrested disoriented Jesus who was quoted to saying: 277 00:19:27,368 --> 00:19:30,570 "Jews are responsible for all the world's wars" 278 00:19:30,571 --> 00:19:32,595 Brian, you think that's our Jesus? 279 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,492 Griffins residence, Peter speaking. 280 00:19:36,548 --> 00:19:38,495 Oh yeah?.. Why should I?.. 281 00:19:39,658 --> 00:19:42,650 Yeah, well, get someone else to bail you out, 'cause it ain't gonna be me. 282 00:19:44,096 --> 00:19:46,008 Yeah, well, what are you gonna do about it? 283 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,476 All right, I'm coming. 284 00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:59,282 Jesus Christ look at you. You've had it all: money, fame, eternal life. And you blew it. You let it all go to your head. 285 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:03,801 I know Peter. I guess it turns out I'm just as human as anyone else. 286 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:06,374 Yeah, well, what are do now? 287 00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:09,498 You want the truth? I think it's time for me to go. 288 00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:12,612 This world's not ready for me yet and I'm not ready for it. 289 00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:17,984 I don't know. Maybe I'll try coming back in another thousand years when I'm a little more mature. 290 00:20:17,985 --> 00:20:21,224 Well, that's a very mature thing to say right there. 291 00:20:21,225 --> 00:20:22,788 I think you're on your way. 292 00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:27,310 Well, before I go Peter, there's something I wanna give you. 293 00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,884 Hold out your hands. 294 00:20:36,122 --> 00:20:39,005 Well, I guess that's it then. Jesus is gone. 295 00:20:39,006 --> 00:20:41,130 I sure am gonna miss him. 296 00:20:41,131 --> 00:20:44,514 Me too. Also he did give me something right before he disappeared. 297 00:20:44,882 --> 00:20:45,445 What? 298 00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:47,311 Something very special Lois. 299 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:48,417 What is it dad? 300 00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:49,508 What? You haven't heared? 301 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,257 Crap! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net