1
00:00:00,814 --> 00:00:03,950
¶ it seems today
that all you see ¶
2
00:00:04,017 --> 00:00:07,286
¶ is violence in movies
and sex on tv ¶
3
00:00:07,354 --> 00:00:10,523
¶ but where are those
good old-fashioned values ¶
4
00:00:10,591 --> 00:00:13,526
¶ on which we used to rely? ¶
5
00:00:13,594 --> 00:00:17,363
¶ lucky there's a family guy ¶
6
00:00:17,431 --> 00:00:20,333
¶ lucky there's a man
who positively can do ¶
7
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,901
¶ all the things that make us ¶
8
00:00:21,969 --> 00:00:23,169
¶ laugh and cry ¶
9
00:00:23,237 --> 00:00:26,405
¶ he's... A...
Fam... Ily... Guy! ¶
10
00:00:26,473 --> 00:00:33,407
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:42,054 --> 00:00:43,455
Oh, uh, it sure was nice of you
12
00:00:43,523 --> 00:00:45,491
To invite us out on your yacht,
mr. Pewterschmidt.
13
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:46,925
It's not a boat,
it's a yacht.
14
00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:49,294
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
you said it was a boat.
15
00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:53,999
Wow, it's beautiful
down there.
16
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:56,535
I just can't believe it
really looks like this.
17
00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:58,537
Stewie: Boy, the fish tank
at day care
18
00:00:58,605 --> 00:01:01,040
Really nailed it.
19
00:01:01,107 --> 00:01:03,542
Lois, are you feeling
all right?
20
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:06,545
I'm just a little seasick,
that's all.
21
00:01:06,613 --> 00:01:08,213
(vomiting)
22
00:01:08,281 --> 00:01:10,049
Stewie:
Oh, my god!
23
00:01:10,116 --> 00:01:12,051
(laughing):
Oh, brian's eatin' it.
24
00:01:12,118 --> 00:01:13,719
Boy, that's a lot
of puke, lois.
25
00:01:13,787 --> 00:01:15,888
I ain't seen that much puke
since my bachelor party.
26
00:01:15,955 --> 00:01:17,089
Your what?
27
00:01:17,157 --> 00:01:18,757
My bachelor party.
What's that?
28
00:01:18,825 --> 00:01:20,626
You don't know what a
bachelor party is?
No!
29
00:01:20,693 --> 00:01:22,127
When you got married,
didn't you have,
30
00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:24,129
Like, a bachelor party
with all your friends?
My what?
31
00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:26,732
Oh, my god, well, we
are gonna fix that.
32
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,233
Carter, I am gonna
throw you
33
00:01:28,301 --> 00:01:30,035
The best bachelor
party ever!
34
00:01:30,103 --> 00:01:31,970
Why would you do that?
'cause I'm your pal
35
00:01:32,038 --> 00:01:34,006
And I want to help.
Like cheeseburger helper.
36
00:01:34,074 --> 00:01:35,674
Hey there, peter.
37
00:01:35,742 --> 00:01:38,143
How would you like to take a
half a pound of hamburger
38
00:01:38,211 --> 00:01:40,979
And make a delicious meal
for the whole family?
39
00:01:41,047 --> 00:01:42,981
Sure!
Okay, then let's...
40
00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:44,983
Hold on there,
peter!
41
00:01:45,051 --> 00:01:46,985
I've got something
even better!
42
00:01:47,053 --> 00:01:48,987
Oh, really?
You bet.
43
00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:51,657
How would you like to take
a half pound of hamburger
44
00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:53,892
And make a delicious meal
for the whole family...
45
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,894
With cheese?
46
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:57,563
What?
47
00:01:57,630 --> 00:01:58,997
Wha... I-I don't...
48
00:01:59,065 --> 00:02:00,165
I-I could just take cheese
49
00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:01,733
And put it on the
thing he's doing.
50
00:02:01,801 --> 00:02:03,836
No! It won't be
the same!
51
00:02:03,903 --> 00:02:05,104
Look, he's my
brother.
52
00:02:05,171 --> 00:02:07,106
He didn't get enough
oxygen at birth.
53
00:02:07,173 --> 00:02:09,274
He's never gonna be quite in
step with the rest of us
54
00:02:09,342 --> 00:02:11,510
And this is sort of my way
of taking care of him.
55
00:02:11,578 --> 00:02:13,779
Well, that's nice of you,
but it was so much simpler
56
00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:15,614
When it was just you
and me doing our thing.
57
00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:17,483
I know, but just let
him have this one.
58
00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:19,985
Odds are he won't even come
back with the actual food.
59
00:02:20,053 --> 00:02:22,654
Okay, cheeseburger helper,
you're on.
60
00:02:22,722 --> 00:02:23,889
Yay!
61
00:02:23,957 --> 00:02:25,357
Cheese, cheese,
cheese!
62
00:02:25,425 --> 00:02:26,692
Yay!
63
00:02:26,759 --> 00:02:28,694
I'm so sorry for your burden.
64
00:02:28,761 --> 00:02:30,462
You're a good brother.
65
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,868
(dance beat throbbing)
66
00:02:38,338 --> 00:02:40,472
So what do you think, carter?
You having a good time?
67
00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:42,541
I'm not sure what I'm supposed
to do with myself.
68
00:02:42,609 --> 00:02:43,876
I'm very uncomfortable.
69
00:02:43,943 --> 00:02:46,211
Why don't you get a lap dance,
mr. Pewterschmidt?
70
00:02:46,279 --> 00:02:48,714
No, peter's crippled friend,
I think I'm just gonna leave.
71
00:02:48,781 --> 00:02:50,048
This was a stupid idea.
72
00:02:50,116 --> 00:02:52,117
Aw, come on, you just gotta
relax and cut loose.
73
00:02:52,185 --> 00:02:53,852
Like those foreign
guys over there.
74
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,355
I can't believe
I'm back at the horse.
75
00:02:56,422 --> 00:02:58,023
I had many drinks last night
76
00:02:58,091 --> 00:03:00,025
And I was so hung out
this morning.
77
00:03:00,093 --> 00:03:01,860
Aw, me, too,
friend.
78
00:03:01,928 --> 00:03:04,229
I was blowing chinks
like crazy.
79
00:03:04,297 --> 00:03:05,831
Boy, this is
fun, huh?
80
00:03:05,899 --> 00:03:07,733
Except for the fact we gotta
sit next to that woman
81
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,134
Who came with her
co-workers.
82
00:03:09,202 --> 00:03:10,802
Huh, aren't we all pals?
83
00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:12,037
I work at the office.
84
00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:13,305
This is empowering.
85
00:03:13,373 --> 00:03:14,907
Maybe I'll get a dance, huh?
86
00:03:14,974 --> 00:03:16,975
You guys are probably gonna be
talking about this forever.
87
00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:18,844
A woman who's so cool
with all of this?
88
00:03:18,912 --> 00:03:20,078
Jackpot!
89
00:03:20,146 --> 00:03:21,647
All right, there's a
cute-looking one.
90
00:03:21,714 --> 00:03:22,881
Excuse me, miss?
91
00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:24,950
This older gentleman would
like a lap dance.
92
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,687
What am I supposed to do?
93
00:03:28,755 --> 00:03:30,689
Nothing. You just sit there
and enjoy yourself.
94
00:03:30,757 --> 00:03:33,692
Do I, do I stick the money
directly inside of her?
95
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,760
No, you do not.
96
00:03:34,827 --> 00:03:36,562
Why, have you done
that before?
(laughs)
97
00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:38,564
Doesn't go over.
When do I hit her?
98
00:03:38,631 --> 00:03:41,400
Oh, for crying out loud,
just drink this.
99
00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:44,403
And you, give this old bastard
the ride of his life.
100
00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:45,904
¶ ¶
101
00:03:45,972 --> 00:03:47,072
(laughing):
Yeah!
102
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:48,207
All right, go, carter!
All right!
103
00:03:48,274 --> 00:03:49,708
Get some! Get some!
104
00:03:49,776 --> 00:03:51,977
Hey, joe, that's like
right in my (bleep) ear.
105
00:03:52,045 --> 00:03:53,579
Stop it! Peter, I-I...
106
00:03:53,646 --> 00:03:54,913
Whoa!
107
00:03:54,981 --> 00:03:56,748
Boy, she's bendy!
108
00:03:56,816 --> 00:03:58,650
(chuckles)
wow! Y-yes!
109
00:03:58,718 --> 00:04:00,485
Oh! Awesome!
110
00:04:00,553 --> 00:04:02,321
All right! Oh!
111
00:04:02,388 --> 00:04:04,323
(groaning)
112
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:06,024
Oh, my god!
What's happening to him?
113
00:04:06,092 --> 00:04:08,360
I'm having a heart
attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!
114
00:04:08,428 --> 00:04:10,429
You ought to know by now!
115
00:04:12,932 --> 00:04:14,366
Oh, my god!
116
00:04:14,434 --> 00:04:16,835
Is my father gonna be
okay, dr. House?
117
00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:18,737
He's in a coma, mrs. Griffin.
118
00:04:18,805 --> 00:04:20,405
And listening to the
sound of your voice,
119
00:04:20,473 --> 00:04:22,407
I'd say he's the lucky one.
120
00:04:22,475 --> 00:04:25,644
Oh, dear, I do hope there's
something to be done.
121
00:04:25,712 --> 00:04:27,646
Dr. House, if you're gonna
save this patient,
122
00:04:27,714 --> 00:04:28,914
You'll need this.
123
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:33,218
Get this thing outta my sight!
124
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:35,153
But wait a second!
125
00:04:35,221 --> 00:04:36,989
How are you gonna
play by the rules
126
00:04:37,056 --> 00:04:38,824
If you don't have
the rule boo-- oh...!
127
00:04:38,891 --> 00:04:41,827
My methods are a little
unorthodox, mr. Griffin.
128
00:04:41,894 --> 00:04:43,161
I think I can help.
129
00:04:43,229 --> 00:04:45,163
What are you doing?
My job.
130
00:04:45,231 --> 00:04:46,999
Sometimes people fake
being in a coma.
131
00:04:47,066 --> 00:04:48,333
This man's not.
132
00:04:48,401 --> 00:04:50,335
Unless of course, the first
punch knocked him out.
133
00:04:50,403 --> 00:04:52,871
In which case, we won't know
for some time.
134
00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,873
House.
Road house.
135
00:04:54,941 --> 00:04:56,675
That, too.
136
00:04:59,412 --> 00:05:01,179
Any word on carter's
condition yet?
137
00:05:01,247 --> 00:05:02,848
No, it's been three days
138
00:05:02,915 --> 00:05:04,683
And I'm really starting
to get worried.
139
00:05:04,751 --> 00:05:06,752
What if he's in a coma
for, like, 20 years
140
00:05:06,819 --> 00:05:09,421
And he comes out of the coma
and you guys are all dead,
141
00:05:09,489 --> 00:05:12,090
But I'm still alive and
I'm a famous race car driver,
142
00:05:12,158 --> 00:05:15,093
And he's like "aw, man,
stewie turned out awesome."
143
00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:16,762
And he comes to one
of my races
144
00:05:16,829 --> 00:05:19,097
And I'm so surprised
to see him there, I crash,
145
00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:21,099
And then I'm in a coma
for 20 years,
146
00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:23,602
And I wake up and
he's a race car driver.
147
00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,771
Stewie, do you want to
be a race car driver
when you grow up?
148
00:05:25,838 --> 00:05:27,706
Well, gosh, if you think
I'd be good at it.
149
00:05:27,774 --> 00:05:29,675
(doorbell rings)
150
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:31,943
Hello, mrs. Griffin,
151
00:05:32,011 --> 00:05:33,845
I'm kenneth gould,
mr. Pewterschmidt's attorney.
152
00:05:33,913 --> 00:05:35,914
I'd like to talk to you
about a few things.
153
00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:38,083
As part of mr. Pewterschmidt's
estate planning,
154
00:05:38,151 --> 00:05:39,751
He has left video wills
155
00:05:39,819 --> 00:05:42,054
Applicable to a wide
variety of situations.
156
00:05:44,357 --> 00:05:45,791
Hello, if you're watching this,
157
00:05:45,858 --> 00:05:48,126
It means they didn't cut
the rope when I climaxed.
158
00:05:48,194 --> 00:05:49,494
As a result, I'm now dead.
159
00:05:49,562 --> 00:05:50,696
That's not it.
160
00:05:50,763 --> 00:05:52,130
If you're watching this one,
161
00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:53,932
It means the train wasn't
able to push the delorean
162
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,935
Up to 88 miles per hour and
I'm still stuck in 1885.
163
00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:58,403
This could
take a while.
164
00:05:58,471 --> 00:06:00,405
Eaten by sharks
while snorkeling...
165
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:02,607
...Stabbed to death
in a toys r us bathroom.
166
00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:04,810
...1940s roller skate
left in the hall.
167
00:06:04,877 --> 00:06:06,144
Death by chocolate.
(laughs)
168
00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,446
No, no, leave it in.
169
00:06:07,513 --> 00:06:09,114
Had a heart attack and have
slipped into a coma.
170
00:06:09,182 --> 00:06:10,382
Here we go.
171
00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,317
In that case,
I leave control of my company,
172
00:06:12,385 --> 00:06:14,686
Pewterschmidt industries,
to my daughter lois.
173
00:06:14,754 --> 00:06:15,887
What?!
174
00:06:15,955 --> 00:06:17,289
I don't know the first thing
175
00:06:17,357 --> 00:06:18,957
About running
a billion-dollar company.
176
00:06:19,025 --> 00:06:20,659
The board of directors
is fully prepared
177
00:06:20,727 --> 00:06:22,327
To run the company in
carter's absence,
178
00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:24,062
If that's what you'd
prefer, mrs. Griffin.
179
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:26,098
Well, yes,
I think that'd be best.
180
00:06:26,165 --> 00:06:27,332
Well, now wait
a second, lois.
181
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,334
I could run
the company.
You?
182
00:06:29,402 --> 00:06:31,336
You can't run a business
that size.
183
00:06:31,404 --> 00:06:33,171
You have no
experience.
184
00:06:33,239 --> 00:06:34,406
You know what
that is, lois?
185
00:06:34,474 --> 00:06:35,907
That's you playing
by the rule book.
186
00:06:35,975 --> 00:06:37,542
And I don't play
by the rule book.
187
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,344
Right, dr. House?
Well, don't ask me.
188
00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:41,346
My superiors
think I'm crazy.
189
00:06:41,414 --> 00:06:43,348
(gibbering)
190
00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:45,016
Scared ya, didn't I?
191
00:06:45,084 --> 00:06:47,018
House.
House.
192
00:06:47,086 --> 00:06:48,687
And I'm gonna run
the company.
193
00:06:52,144 --> 00:06:53,911
Well, lois, I'm off
to my first day
194
00:06:53,979 --> 00:06:55,246
As a corporate bigwig.
195
00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,248
I'm not so sure about
this, peter.
196
00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:58,916
I mean, that's
daddy's company.
197
00:06:58,984 --> 00:07:01,385
He spent his whole life building
it from the ground up.
198
00:07:01,453 --> 00:07:03,721
And you don't know
anything about running
a big business.
199
00:07:03,789 --> 00:07:05,890
Whoa, whoa, thanks
for the vote of confidence.
200
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:08,726
Geez, you're a bigger downer
than a german bedtime story.
201
00:07:08,794 --> 00:07:11,829
(male narrator reading
in german accent):
202
00:07:23,942 --> 00:07:25,242
And in addition,
203
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,244
Pewterschmidt industries'
pharmaceutical division
204
00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:28,746
Is up over 30%,
205
00:07:28,814 --> 00:07:30,915
Profits in new media have
doubled each quarter
206
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:34,418
Over the past year, and our
stock is at an all-time high.
207
00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:35,786
All right, stand aside.
208
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:36,988
I'll take it from here.
209
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:38,189
Good afternoon, gentlemen,
210
00:07:38,256 --> 00:07:39,557
My name is peter griffin.
211
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,027
I will be running the company
from hence here forth.
212
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,196
Now, I want you all to lay
some business talk on me.
213
00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:46,497
I need ideas.
214
00:07:46,565 --> 00:07:48,766
What can we do to make this
quarter more quarterly?
215
00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:51,502
Well, come on, come on.
216
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:54,405
(murmuring)
(coughs)
217
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:56,574
Okay, I can see I'm gonna have
to get things rollin'.
218
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,843
All right, we're gonna do an
exercise called the idea ball.
219
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:00,711
I'm gonna toss a ball
to one of you,
220
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:02,713
And whoever catches it, throw
out the first idea you got,
221
00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:04,415
Then pass the ball
to the next guy,
222
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,684
And he throws out an idea
and so on. Everybody clear?
223
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:08,786
Yeah.
(murmuring)
224
00:08:08,854 --> 00:08:10,554
All right, here we go.
225
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,090
All right, abrams, whaddaya got?
226
00:08:13,158 --> 00:08:14,792
Abrams:
My lung's collapsing.
227
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,662
You know what I'm hearin',
gentlemen?
228
00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:20,164
(sighs)
what's the best way to put this?
229
00:08:20,232 --> 00:08:23,234
What I'm hearing...
230
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,440
What I'm hearin' is a
lot of yesterday talk.
231
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:31,742
This isn't the way we're gonna
do things under my leadership.
232
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,744
We are gonna turn
this company around.
233
00:08:33,812 --> 00:08:35,379
But, sir, the company's
doing fine.
234
00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:36,380
Better than ever, in fact.
235
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:37,815
Mr. Pewterschmidt would...
236
00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:39,650
I don't care what mr.
Pewterschmidt would have done.
237
00:08:39,718 --> 00:08:40,685
We need to take risks.
238
00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:42,453
We need a complete overhaul.
239
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,488
Gentlemen, you're all fired.
240
00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:45,890
(all gasp)
what?!
241
00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:47,658
There, now that I've got
your attention...
242
00:08:47,726 --> 00:08:48,926
You're all fired.
243
00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:55,199
Peter, what the hell
is going on?
244
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,535
You fired everybody
at daddy's company?!
245
00:08:57,602 --> 00:08:59,270
You bet.
Are you outta
your mind?!
246
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:00,938
Keep it up, lois,
I might fire you.
247
00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:02,273
You wouldn't.
248
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:05,242
Does the name lacey chabert
mean anything to you?
249
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:06,744
Okay, I'll behave.
250
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:07,978
Yes, you will.
251
00:09:08,046 --> 00:09:09,480
Look, peter,
all I'm saying is,
252
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,482
Those guys have been
with daddy for years.
253
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:14,051
How are you supposed to run
that company without them?
254
00:09:14,119 --> 00:09:15,386
That's it, lois,
you're fired.
255
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:16,987
Chris, you are
now meg's mother.
256
00:09:17,055 --> 00:09:20,825
Ooh, peter, your muscles
are so muscley.
257
00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:24,095
I am gonna plow you
so gross later.
258
00:09:27,132 --> 00:09:30,067
You are a team of executives
I can trust.
259
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:32,069
Brian, quagmire, mort,
260
00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:33,738
You are gonna be
my creative team.
261
00:09:33,805 --> 00:09:36,207
You are gonna help me lead
this company into the future.
262
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:38,109
Peter, we don't know
anything more than you do
263
00:09:38,176 --> 00:09:39,110
About running
a company.
264
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:40,177
Hey, where's joe?
265
00:09:40,245 --> 00:09:42,079
I think he's still
outside.
266
00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:45,649
Hey, joe!
What're you doin' down there?!
267
00:09:45,717 --> 00:09:46,717
There's no ramp!
268
00:09:46,785 --> 00:09:48,219
I can't get inside!
269
00:09:48,286 --> 00:09:49,553
Well, we don't need him anyway.
270
00:09:49,621 --> 00:09:52,056
This company's gonna
make it on my ideas.
271
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:53,891
Here are the products
we'll be unveiling
272
00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:55,192
In the new fiscal year.
273
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,228
The african american
heart monitor.
274
00:09:57,295 --> 00:10:01,332
Heart monitor:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
275
00:10:01,399 --> 00:10:03,367
Aw, he dead.
276
00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:05,369
Jeremy irons cereal.
277
00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:08,873
If you're looking for
marshmallows, there are none.
278
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:11,909
It's quite bland, I assure you.
279
00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:13,677
And scream in a box.
280
00:10:13,745 --> 00:10:15,679
(man screaming)
281
00:10:15,747 --> 00:10:17,281
I needed that today.
282
00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:19,517
And now,
new lady scream in a box.
283
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,352
(woman screaming)
284
00:10:21,419 --> 00:10:24,155
Finally, a scream
that's right for me.
285
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:29,193
Well, it's good to see
everyone's adapting
286
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,228
To their new business roles.
287
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:33,297
Brian, I like
your successories.
288
00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:37,835
I will.
289
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,937
I will go get it.
290
00:10:42,574 --> 00:10:43,874
(knocking)
291
00:10:43,942 --> 00:10:45,876
Mr. Quagmire, the davidson
account is waiting for you
292
00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:47,044
In the conference room.
293
00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:48,212
All right, thanks, marlene.
294
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,547
Tell 'em I'll be right in.
295
00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:52,950
All right, glenn,
time to go make millions.
296
00:10:54,052 --> 00:10:55,853
What happened
to you, man?
297
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,488
I grew up!
That's what happened!
298
00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:59,156
What happened to the
free-loving quagmire
299
00:10:59,224 --> 00:11:01,325
Who was banging ten
chicks at a time?
300
00:11:01,393 --> 00:11:02,993
I still do that.
301
00:11:03,061 --> 00:11:04,595
Oh. Good.
Yup.
302
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:05,763
Can I have
some money?
303
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,398
Oh, get out
of here, you bum.
304
00:11:07,465 --> 00:11:08,632
Ah, all right.
305
00:11:11,469 --> 00:11:16,240
Heart monitor:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
306
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,474
He's a'ight.
307
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:19,109
Daddy, you're awake!
308
00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:21,278
Oh, carter,
I'm so relieved.
309
00:11:21,346 --> 00:11:22,513
(groans)
what happened?
310
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,681
Where am I?
311
00:11:23,748 --> 00:11:25,516
Oh, you had
a heart attack, daddy,
312
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:27,017
But you're
all right now.
313
00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:28,285
Heart monitor:
Yeah, he cool.
314
00:11:28,353 --> 00:11:29,486
What the hell
is that?!
315
00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:31,255
Oh, it's an african american
heart monitor
316
00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:32,423
Made by your company.
317
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:33,824
What?!
318
00:11:33,892 --> 00:11:36,694
Yes, it has two settings:
Barry white and bill cosby.
319
00:11:36,761 --> 00:11:39,897
Bill cosby heart monitor:
Beep. Beep. Boop. Beep.
320
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,699
My company makes
no such thing.
321
00:11:41,766 --> 00:11:44,301
Well, you see, daddy,
when you were in a coma,
322
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:47,238
Peter stepped in and took charge
of pewterschmidt industries.
323
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:49,840
Bill cosby heart monitor:
Zibida, zoobida, gebada,
bopada, zipity, ziggita,
324
00:11:49,908 --> 00:11:52,309
Zagata, boopada, bopada,
ghost dad!
325
00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:55,913
(sighs happily)
326
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:57,381
Well, you made it, peter.
327
00:11:57,449 --> 00:11:58,749
You're a big shot.
328
00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:00,818
In charge of a whole bunch
of people.
329
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,187
Peggy, hold my calls
for a few minutes, please.
330
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:04,521
Peggy:
Yes, mr. Griffin.
331
00:12:04,589 --> 00:12:07,458
Well, buddy,
you're in love with peggy.
332
00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:08,959
What a mess.
333
00:12:09,027 --> 00:12:11,328
Griffin! Get the hell
out of my building!
334
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,464
Holy crap, mr. Pewterschmidt,
you're okay!
335
00:12:13,531 --> 00:12:14,965
You're damn
right I'm okay,
336
00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:17,334
And I'm here to reassume
charge of my company.
337
00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:18,903
Maybe I don't want to leave.
338
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:20,638
Maybe I like being a fat cat.
339
00:12:20,705 --> 00:12:21,939
What are you saying?
340
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:23,440
I'm saying it's my company now,
341
00:12:23,508 --> 00:12:26,210
And it's better than it ever was
when you were running it.
342
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,312
Security, we have a situation
in the conference room.
343
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,481
I'll give you a
situation, you fat turd.
344
00:12:30,548 --> 00:12:32,683
Gentlemen, please remove
this man from the building.
345
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,251
What th...?
I'm carter pewterschmidt!
346
00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:35,419
This is my company!
347
00:12:35,487 --> 00:12:36,720
Throw that guy out!
348
00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:37,888
Sorry,
mr. Pewterschmidt,
349
00:12:37,956 --> 00:12:39,623
But we work
for mr. Griffin now.
350
00:12:39,691 --> 00:12:41,158
You can't do
this to me!
351
00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:42,660
Do you know
who I am?!
352
00:12:42,727 --> 00:12:43,827
I'm carter
pewterschmidt!
353
00:12:43,895 --> 00:12:45,296
I'm not getting
in that elevator!
354
00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:47,464
Don't you dare throw
me out of this lobby!
355
00:12:47,532 --> 00:12:48,632
Don't you...
Damn it!
356
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,334
Hey, what are you
doing out here?
357
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,002
Joe:
I can't get in
the building!
358
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:53,170
Uh, peggy?
359
00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:54,571
Peggy:
Yes, mr. Griffin.
360
00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:57,474
That fart I have at 3:00--
can you push that up to now?
361
00:12:57,542 --> 00:12:58,742
Very good, sir.
362
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,778
(peter farts)
363
00:13:05,004 --> 00:13:07,172
Lois, how could you
let your idiot husband
364
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,507
Take over my company?
365
00:13:08,574 --> 00:13:09,908
He fired all my staff,
366
00:13:09,976 --> 00:13:12,511
His stupid ideas are bankrupting
pewterschmidt industries,
367
00:13:12,578 --> 00:13:14,079
And now he won't step down!
368
00:13:14,147 --> 00:13:15,247
I know, daddy.
369
00:13:15,314 --> 00:13:16,915
He's become so full
of himself.
370
00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:19,651
He's more annoying than when
he's making his christmas list.
371
00:13:19,719 --> 00:13:22,788
Now, peter, are you sure this is
all you want for christmas?
372
00:13:22,855 --> 00:13:24,623
I'm only going
to the mall once.
373
00:13:24,691 --> 00:13:26,158
Yeah, yeah,
that's it.
374
00:13:26,225 --> 00:13:28,794
Man (on tv):
All new this christmas--
remote control cars...
375
00:13:28,861 --> 00:13:31,029
That glow in the dark?!
376
00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:36,968
Peter:
Get that!
377
00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:39,037
I've run that
company for 40 years.
378
00:13:39,105 --> 00:13:41,039
He even froze my
corporate bank accounts.
379
00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:42,274
I'm broke.
380
00:13:42,341 --> 00:13:43,442
Oh, that's ridiculous.
381
00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:45,811
I'll talk to him
as soon as he gets home.
382
00:13:45,878 --> 00:13:46,978
(jet plane approaching)
383
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:48,213
What the hell is that?!
384
00:14:00,126 --> 00:14:01,259
Damn it, peter!
385
00:14:01,327 --> 00:14:03,428
Your plane set
my lawn on fire!
386
00:14:03,496 --> 00:14:04,963
Here, that ought
to cover it.
387
00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:06,732
Peter, I don't
want your money!
388
00:14:06,799 --> 00:14:09,334
Well, fine, then, have a box
of jeremy irons cereal.
389
00:14:09,402 --> 00:14:13,305
If you're looking for a prize
at the bottom, there is none.
390
00:14:13,372 --> 00:14:16,108
Only more cardboard.
391
00:14:16,175 --> 00:14:17,943
Peter, this has gone on
long enough.
392
00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:20,178
I want you to make things right
with daddy.
393
00:14:20,246 --> 00:14:21,346
It's his company.
394
00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:22,514
It's my company.
395
00:14:22,582 --> 00:14:23,682
It's your company.
396
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:24,850
Three's company.
397
00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:27,152
Where the kisses are hers
and hers and his.
398
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:28,553
What?
I'm sorry, lois.
399
00:14:28,621 --> 00:14:30,689
We all had some pot brownies
on the plane.
400
00:14:30,757 --> 00:14:32,390
Hey, peter,
are you seeing this rabbit?
401
00:14:32,458 --> 00:14:33,458
No.
402
00:14:33,526 --> 00:14:34,626
Well, I sure am.
403
00:14:34,694 --> 00:14:35,827
You know something?
404
00:14:35,895 --> 00:14:38,597
You're not qualified
to sit in that chair.
405
00:14:38,664 --> 00:14:40,866
Oh, aren't I?
406
00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:42,033
(screaming)
407
00:14:42,101 --> 00:14:43,268
(screaming)
408
00:14:43,336 --> 00:14:45,070
Maybe there's a rabbit
head under here.
409
00:14:45,138 --> 00:14:46,571
(yelling)
410
00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:50,408
Peter, all of my father's assets
are tied up in that corporation.
411
00:14:50,476 --> 00:14:51,943
If you freeze up his money,
412
00:14:52,011 --> 00:14:53,879
He's not gonna have anything
to live on.
413
00:14:53,946 --> 00:14:56,581
Now you are gonna make amends
with daddy, and that's final.
414
00:14:56,649 --> 00:14:58,617
All right, lois, if
that's what you want.
415
00:14:58,684 --> 00:15:01,319
Mr. Pewterschmidt, be
in my office tomorrow
morning at 9:00.
416
00:15:01,387 --> 00:15:03,989
I'm sure
we can figure something out.
417
00:15:04,056 --> 00:15:06,992
(evil laughter)
418
00:15:07,059 --> 00:15:09,694
Hmm... I don't know if I like
the sound of that laugh.
419
00:15:09,762 --> 00:15:11,997
I knew I didn't like
the sound of that laugh.
420
00:15:12,064 --> 00:15:13,198
Peter, this is
unacceptable.
421
00:15:13,266 --> 00:15:15,433
What gives you the right
to treat me like this?
422
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:16,968
You've been treating me
like crap
423
00:15:17,036 --> 00:15:19,905
For 20 years, mr. Pewterschmidt,
and now I'm the one in charge.
424
00:15:19,972 --> 00:15:21,973
Hang on a second.
425
00:15:32,084 --> 00:15:33,418
Clean that up.
426
00:15:36,055 --> 00:15:37,322
Carter, as your boss,
427
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:39,291
I command you
to have a viewing party
428
00:15:39,358 --> 00:15:41,359
For tonight's episode
of the big bang theory,
429
00:15:41,427 --> 00:15:43,895
And you have to go cubicle
to cubicle inviting people.
430
00:15:43,963 --> 00:15:46,665
Aw, come on, peter, I'm not,
I'm not good with rejection.
431
00:15:46,732 --> 00:15:48,600
I'm your boss.
Now do it!
432
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:53,605
Hi. I was gonna catch
the big bang theory tonight,
433
00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:56,241
And wondered if you wanted
to come over and watch.
434
00:15:56,309 --> 00:15:57,776
Wha... What?
What is that?
435
00:15:57,844 --> 00:15:59,344
It's a comedy.
It's on cbs.
436
00:15:59,412 --> 00:16:00,512
I'm really into it.
437
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,913
I don't want
to watch that.
438
00:16:01,981 --> 00:16:03,782
I don't want to
watch it with you.
439
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:06,084
All right, if you change
your mind, here's a flyer.
440
00:16:06,152 --> 00:16:07,485
If you do decide to come,
441
00:16:07,553 --> 00:16:09,354
I'm just asking
that you bring an appetizer.
442
00:16:09,422 --> 00:16:10,755
Yeah, I'm not
gonna do that.
443
00:16:10,823 --> 00:16:13,058
See, peter, I told you,
no one wants to come.
444
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:14,793
This is awful.
You're not
off the hook.
445
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:16,328
You still got
to have that party.
446
00:16:16,395 --> 00:16:19,497
Babs, you want to
sit and watch...?
447
00:16:19,565 --> 00:16:20,932
No.
448
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,368
I'll have you know
that I can bench press
449
00:16:23,436 --> 00:16:25,637
Over 690 billion nanograms.
450
00:16:25,705 --> 00:16:27,472
Sheldon, that's less
than two pounds.
451
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,574
It sounded better
the way I said it.
452
00:16:29,642 --> 00:16:31,509
(laughs)
453
00:16:31,577 --> 00:16:34,312
Oh, when I tell that joke
at work tomorrow, people...
454
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,448
People-people are gonna
be sorry they didn't come.
455
00:16:36,515 --> 00:16:37,983
They're-they're gonna...
This-this was...
456
00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:39,417
This-this was a good night.
457
00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:43,822
Carter, as your boss,
I'm ordering you
458
00:16:43,890 --> 00:16:47,092
To pay a compliment to this
sharply-dressed asian man.
459
00:16:47,159 --> 00:16:48,326
You look very nice.
460
00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:49,794
What else?
461
00:16:49,862 --> 00:16:51,129
Uh...
What about my shoe?
462
00:16:51,197 --> 00:16:52,297
They're nice, too.
463
00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:53,899
How you think
my house smell?
464
00:16:53,966 --> 00:16:55,133
Not oniony?
465
00:16:55,201 --> 00:16:56,568
You good man.
466
00:16:56,636 --> 00:16:59,771
I pat you on the head and
feed you from the hand.
467
00:17:04,677 --> 00:17:07,279
(crying):
And then he made me
clean out the fridge
468
00:17:07,346 --> 00:17:10,315
In the employee lounge, and
the employees were mad at me
469
00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,617
Because I-I threw out food
that they still wanted.
470
00:17:12,685 --> 00:17:14,085
I don't know
what's in there!
471
00:17:14,153 --> 00:17:15,253
Oh, that's it.
472
00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:16,821
Peter is completely
out of control.
473
00:17:16,889 --> 00:17:18,890
We've got to do something
to take him down
474
00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:20,392
And get your company back.
475
00:17:20,459 --> 00:17:21,760
Right, right. But how?
476
00:17:21,827 --> 00:17:23,261
In order to oust an idiot,
477
00:17:23,329 --> 00:17:25,030
We've got to think
like an idiot.
478
00:17:25,097 --> 00:17:26,298
Let's see.
479
00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:27,632
What's peter's weakness?
480
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:29,701
He's got to have a weakness.
481
00:17:31,003 --> 00:17:32,337
Swamp monsters.
482
00:17:32,405 --> 00:17:35,173
Swamp monsters, of course!
483
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:39,844
Lois, what are you doing here?
484
00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:42,480
Oh, I just wanted to make
sure everything was okay.
485
00:17:42,548 --> 00:17:44,516
Of course it's okay.
Why wouldn't it be?
486
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:46,584
Oh, you know, that whole
swamp monster story.
487
00:17:46,652 --> 00:17:47,686
Swamp monster?
488
00:17:47,753 --> 00:17:49,521
You haven't heard?
Heard what?
489
00:17:49,588 --> 00:17:51,489
Oh, I'm sure
it's nothing.
490
00:17:51,557 --> 00:17:52,691
It's just, apparently,
491
00:17:52,758 --> 00:17:54,459
Somebody flushed a
baby swamp monster
492
00:17:54,527 --> 00:17:56,695
Down the toilet somewhere,
not far from here.
493
00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:59,564
What?! Who would flush
a baby swamp monster?
494
00:17:59,632 --> 00:18:01,166
Don't they know
what would happen?
495
00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,001
Well, apparently,
it has happened.
496
00:18:03,069 --> 00:18:04,269
And now it's grown up
497
00:18:04,337 --> 00:18:06,571
And is attacking
important businessmen.
498
00:18:06,639 --> 00:18:08,106
I'm an important
businessman!
499
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,575
(deep growling)
500
00:18:10,643 --> 00:18:11,977
What the hell was that?!
501
00:18:12,044 --> 00:18:14,012
It sounds like maybe
a swamp monster
502
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,981
Who needs to project
a little more.
503
00:18:16,048 --> 00:18:17,615
(deep growling)
504
00:18:17,683 --> 00:18:20,352
(roaring)
505
00:18:20,419 --> 00:18:21,519
Ah, crap!
506
00:18:21,587 --> 00:18:22,620
(roaring)
507
00:18:22,688 --> 00:18:24,255
Aah! A swamp monster!
508
00:18:24,323 --> 00:18:26,958
(swamp monster roars,
peter screams)
509
00:18:27,026 --> 00:18:28,460
Quick, peter, sign
this legal document
510
00:18:28,527 --> 00:18:31,329
Giving the company
back to daddy so you
won't get eaten!
511
00:18:31,397 --> 00:18:33,431
Oh, I don't understand,
but nothing makes sense
512
00:18:33,499 --> 00:18:35,066
In these swamp monster times.
513
00:18:35,134 --> 00:18:36,568
(screaming)
514
00:18:36,635 --> 00:18:38,136
We did it, daddy.
515
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,905
I have my husband back,
and you have your company.
516
00:18:40,973 --> 00:18:42,607
Sorry I'm
late, lois.
517
00:18:42,675 --> 00:18:44,642
Okay, are we doing the
swamp monster thing?
518
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:48,246
Wait, if you're daddy,
then who...?
519
00:18:48,314 --> 00:18:51,583
Both:
S-s-s-s-s-s-s...
Swamp monster!
520
00:18:54,854 --> 00:18:58,456
("scooby doo"-like
chase music playing)
521
00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:20,178
Now let's find out
who you really are.
522
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,446
(gasps)
(gasps)
523
00:19:21,514 --> 00:19:22,614
Dr. House?!
524
00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:23,848
Indeed, lois.
525
00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:25,817
And if you don't mind,
I'll address you
526
00:19:25,885 --> 00:19:27,252
In my natural speaking voice,
527
00:19:27,319 --> 00:19:29,687
As I've grown so weary
of doing an american accent.
528
00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:30,855
Do you want to come
529
00:19:30,923 --> 00:19:32,724
To my big bang
viewing party next week?
530
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:34,626
Daddy, you don't have
to do that anymore.
531
00:19:34,693 --> 00:19:36,795
I know, I know.
I-I... I like it now.
532
00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:41,299
Well, I'm sorry
you lost the company, peter,
533
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:43,068
But I think it's for the best.
534
00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:45,070
You were turning
into a real jerk.
535
00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:46,337
Well, maybe so.
536
00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:49,140
But I sure am gonna miss
being a corporate big shot.
537
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:52,143
Well, you'll always be a big
shot in this family, sweetheart.
538
00:19:52,211 --> 00:19:53,578
Thanks, honey.
539
00:19:53,646 --> 00:19:55,747
And I got a little
surprise for you.
540
00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:57,382
In that contract
you signed,
541
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,317
You got to keep the
corporate plane.
542
00:19:59,385 --> 00:20:01,486
(gasps)
yeah!
543
00:20:05,057 --> 00:20:06,558
Peter, how are
you doing that?
544
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,059
I-I don't...
I don't know, lois.
545
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:09,060
I'm scared.
546
00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:10,195
Well, come down.
547
00:20:10,262 --> 00:20:11,729
I can't. I-I...
Get help.
548
00:20:11,797 --> 00:20:12,897
Call somebody.
549
00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:14,232
Wh-wh-who do I call?
550
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,901
I-I don't know. A police...
A fireman... A scientist!
551
00:20:16,969 --> 00:20:18,136
Call a scientist!
552
00:20:18,204 --> 00:20:20,004
Okay, you kids stay here
with your father.
553
00:20:20,072 --> 00:20:22,373
I'm gonna go find
a scientist.
554
00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:24,442
Am I gonna die?