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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:08,242
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,293 --> 00:00:11,712
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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♪ Family Guy 10x16 ♪
Killer Queen
Original Air Date on March 11, 2012
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00:00:31,821 --> 00:00:35,321
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,838
Good evening, Quahog.
I'm Tom Tucker.
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Our top story tonight:
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In a shocking turn of events,
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00:00:40,675 --> 00:00:43,010
the city of Detroit
has officially given up.
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00:00:43,078 --> 00:00:45,679
The now former mayor has given
the key to the city
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00:00:45,747 --> 00:00:47,314
back to the Huron Indian tribe.
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00:00:47,382 --> 00:00:49,049
So, farewell, Detroit.
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00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:52,820
From Bob Seger to Axel Foley,
we never really cared. Joyce?
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00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,455
Thanks, Tom.
In local news,
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00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:57,124
Quahog is expecting
a special guest this weekend,
22
00:00:57,192 --> 00:00:58,859
famed Asian
competitive eating champion
23
00:00:58,927 --> 00:01:00,861
Charles Yamamoto.
24
00:01:00,929 --> 00:01:03,397
Yamamoto has not yet lost
a hot dog eating competition
25
00:01:03,465 --> 00:01:04,765
on his world tour.
26
00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,934
But if you think
you have what it takes
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00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,802
to beat the best eater
in the world,
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00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:11,271
come down to the James Woods
High parking lot this Saturday
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00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,307
with $50 and a large appetite.
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00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:15,609
Wow, maybe you should
enter the contest, Dad.
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00:01:15,677 --> 00:01:17,211
I'll bet
you could win.
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00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,479
Well, I would, Chris,
33
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,280
if I wasn't so
obsessed with my figure.
34
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,598
Wait a minute.
35
00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:23,000
Chris, have you ever
eaten anything?
36
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:24,685
Only, like, all the time!
37
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,970
Perfect! Now we just
need the 50 bucks.
38
00:01:27,038 --> 00:01:29,623
Damn it, I knew I shouldn't
have named that star for Mort.
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00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,309
Ugh! Just give me the money.
40
00:01:32,377 --> 00:01:33,560
Peter, we're not
spending $50
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00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:35,512
so Chris can stuff his
face with hot dogs.
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00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:36,814
All right, fine.
43
00:01:36,881 --> 00:01:39,032
I'll figure out a way
to get the cash myself.
44
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,184
I'm a smart guy.
45
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:41,752
Peter, no, you're not.
46
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:44,655
Don't you feel ridiculous now?
47
00:01:47,926 --> 00:01:49,576
All right, Chris,
if we're gonna pay the entry fee
48
00:01:49,644 --> 00:01:50,811
for that eating contest,
49
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,880
we got to sell some
of my old stuff.
50
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:54,381
What are these, Dad?
Oh, wow.
51
00:01:54,432 --> 00:01:56,066
I haven't seen
those in a while.
52
00:01:56,151 --> 00:01:58,118
Those are my old Playboys
from the '70s.
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00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,254
Oh, my God, this one's so hot.
54
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,656
You can almost see
a little bit of woman.
55
00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:05,976
Wow, Peter, you've got some
pretty cool albums here.
56
00:02:06,044 --> 00:02:09,246
Yeah, well, I was one
cool potato back in the day.
57
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,415
You know, some of these might
actually be worth something.
58
00:02:11,482 --> 00:02:13,400
Look at this--
Beatles, Rolling Stones.
59
00:02:13,451 --> 00:02:15,886
Oh, my God, I haven't seen
this one in forever.
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00:02:15,954 --> 00:02:17,838
Look-Look at this. Queen,
News of the World.
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00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,140
Check it out.
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00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:21,275
Aah!
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00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,543
Oh, what's the matter?
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00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,711
What the hell is that?!
A killer robot monster?!
65
00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:26,146
No, it's News of the World.
66
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,747
It's an album
by the band Queen. See?
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00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:29,433
Aah!
Stewie, relax.
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00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,752
No, Brian! You keep
that thing away from me!
69
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,921
Is it... Is it looking at me?!
70
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,756
Can it see me?!
71
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,758
Man, you're really scared
of this thing, huh?
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00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,193
Does it eat little boys?!
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00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,361
I don't know. Maybe,
if it's hungry.
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00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,235
Here's 50 bucks.
I'm taking this album.
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00:02:48,286 --> 00:02:49,753
Oh, wow, check
it out, Chris!
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00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,889
We got our entry fee
for the eating contest!
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00:02:51,956 --> 00:02:53,407
Now for the
next five days,
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00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,025
we're gonna focus on
nothing but training.
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00:02:55,093 --> 00:02:56,927
We'll even get up at
the crack of dawn.
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00:03:00,698 --> 00:03:02,733
Dad?
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00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,269
Dad, it's time to get up.
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00:03:05,336 --> 00:03:08,722
Oh, jeez, Chris,
it's the crack of dawn.
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00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:11,058
Yeah, but Dad, you
said to wake you up.
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00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,759
Yeah... Yeah, but, uh...
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00:03:14,095 --> 00:03:15,345
Just... get-get...
get in...
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00:03:15,430 --> 00:03:17,614
get in the bed
with me and your mom.
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00:03:17,682 --> 00:03:19,416
Okay, but what
about training?
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00:03:19,484 --> 00:03:21,551
Oh, you smell
like melted cheese.
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00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:24,721
Yummy, yummy, yummy,
yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.
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00:03:29,427 --> 00:03:31,895
Good morning, Rupert.
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00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:35,265
Please tell me you set the timer
on the coffeemaker
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00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,084
because I completely forgot.
93
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:41,371
You son of a bitch!
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00:03:41,456 --> 00:03:43,924
Good morning.
Thought I'd help you wake up.
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00:03:43,992 --> 00:03:45,993
God, why does he look sad?!
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00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,427
He's already
destroyed mankind!
97
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,062
What else could he want?!
98
00:03:51,099 --> 00:03:52,416
Hey, Carl.
99
00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,768
Hey, can I get a couple
of scratch-off lottery tickets?
100
00:03:54,836 --> 00:03:56,353
Oh, sure, Brian.
101
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,772
Ooh, Brian, can I do one?
I love scratchers!
102
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,257
Well, all right,
maybe just one.
103
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:03,193
Cherry.
104
00:04:03,278 --> 00:04:04,378
Another cherry.
105
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,730
Oh, come on, one more, one more!
106
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,151
Thanks, Carl.
107
00:04:11,219 --> 00:04:12,486
Yeah, you're welcome.
That was fun.
108
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,154
See you later.
109
00:04:14,222 --> 00:04:15,395
Hey, uh, thanks
for letting me be Yoda.
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00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:16,620
Yup.
111
00:04:22,347 --> 00:04:23,914
What is this?
112
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:34,224
("Pop Goes the Weasel" plays)
113
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:52,242
Oh-ho-ho,
what was I worried about?
114
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,060
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Oh, God!
115
00:04:54,112 --> 00:04:55,479
Aah! Aah!
116
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,014
He's bleeding, man!
117
00:04:57,081 --> 00:04:59,566
He's bleeding, and nobody's
doing anything about it!
118
00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:01,802
I'll tell you what the news
of the world is.
119
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,470
We're in a lot
of trouble!
120
00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:09,009
All right, Chris,
this is it.
121
00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:10,644
This is what we've
been working for.
122
00:05:10,712 --> 00:05:12,713
If you get nervous, just
picture the audience naked
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00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,514
and slide those hot
dogs down your throat.
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00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,283
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
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00:05:16,351 --> 00:05:19,820
to the World Hot Dog Eating
Championship Competition!
126
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,422
Please welcome our undefeated
champion eater,
127
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,791
Charles Yamamoto!
128
00:05:29,313 --> 00:05:31,732
Oh, my God, that guy is huge.
129
00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:35,118
All right, eaters,
you have ten minutes.
130
00:05:35,186 --> 00:05:38,038
On your marks,
get set, eat!
131
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,009
Come on, Chris.
You're doing great.
132
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,777
Just keep going.
You're almost there.
133
00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:02,796
Well, I'd better get a move on.
134
00:06:08,603 --> 00:06:09,903
Time's almost up!
135
00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:11,471
It's gonna be a close one!
136
00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:15,909
Chris, you're four
hot dogs behind!
137
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,077
Come on! Hurry!
138
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,280
Oh! I can't eat anymore.
139
00:06:20,348 --> 00:06:22,249
Remember what I told you.
140
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:25,952
I get these weird cyst things
right on the fringe of my sac.
141
00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,621
I want to get 'em checked,
142
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,656
but I'm afraid
of what they're gonna tell me.
143
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,658
He's right. I can do it!
144
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:41,785
We have a winner!
145
00:06:41,853 --> 00:06:45,639
Ladies and gentlemen, Yamamoto
has finally been defeated!
146
00:06:48,126 --> 00:06:50,243
Chris, you did it.
You're a champion!
147
00:06:50,311 --> 00:06:52,245
And now you get your
pick of the groupies.
148
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,549
They're shiny.
149
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,983
Yeah, it's a
pretty warm day.
150
00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:02,539
Oh!
151
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,824
Hey, hey, hey,
there, champ!
152
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,225
Aw, look at
him, Lois.
153
00:07:05,293 --> 00:07:06,593
Relaxing after
his big victory.
154
00:07:06,661 --> 00:07:08,195
Peter, he's not relaxing.
155
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,063
He's in a great deal of pain.
156
00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:12,466
Damn it, don't you
see what you did to him?
157
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:15,068
I told you not to take him
to that eating competition,
158
00:07:15,136 --> 00:07:16,586
and you deliberately defied me!
159
00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:18,355
All right, what's
this really about?
160
00:07:18,422 --> 00:07:20,490
Peter, Chris is
already overweight.
161
00:07:20,558 --> 00:07:23,527
We need to start taking
responsibility for his health.
162
00:07:23,594 --> 00:07:25,962
So I decided to sign him up
for fat camp.
163
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,899
What?! Mom, I don't want
to go to fat camp!
164
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:31,334
I'm sorry, sweetie.
It's for your own good.
165
00:07:31,402 --> 00:07:34,304
And trust me, you'll feel
much better about yourself.
166
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:36,890
Everyone's gonna
make fun of me!
167
00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:39,192
Oh, come on, who's
gonna make fun of you?
168
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:41,278
Hey, fatty, I hear
you're going to fat camp.
169
00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:42,379
That's where
you belong!
170
00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:43,980
Peter, stop it!
171
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,283
And I'd better not see
you at the big dance!
172
00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:47,584
Come on, you.
173
00:07:47,652 --> 00:07:49,886
Sorry, Chris.
I-I'm gonna go with him.
174
00:08:11,415 --> 00:08:13,532
Hi. Welcome to
Camp Fresh Start.
175
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,534
Yeah, our son's gross,
so here we are.
176
00:08:15,602 --> 00:08:16,852
The name's
Griffin.
177
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,087
Ah, yes,
Chris Griffin.
178
00:08:18,154 --> 00:08:20,273
We have you staying
in the Broccoli Cabin.
179
00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:22,441
So you guys are just
gonna leave me here?
180
00:08:22,509 --> 00:08:24,343
Yeah, honey.
That's what camp is.
181
00:08:24,411 --> 00:08:25,845
I don't want to stay!
182
00:08:25,913 --> 00:08:27,663
Please take me home!
183
00:08:27,731 --> 00:08:30,032
I don't want to go to fat camp!
184
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,734
Aw, come on, Chris.
Your mother's right.
185
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,169
This'll be good for you.
186
00:08:33,237 --> 00:08:35,037
Well, how come you
don't have to go?!
187
00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:36,539
You're fatter
than I am!
188
00:08:36,607 --> 00:08:38,040
Huh. Good question, Peter.
189
00:08:38,108 --> 00:08:39,842
How come
you don't have to go?
190
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,043
What are you
talking about?
191
00:08:41,111 --> 00:08:42,678
Well, you're the one
who entered him
192
00:08:42,746 --> 00:08:44,080
in that hot dog
eating contest.
193
00:08:44,147 --> 00:08:45,448
Besides, he's right.
194
00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:47,617
You could stand to lose
a few pounds yourself.
195
00:08:47,684 --> 00:08:49,552
Unless you don't think
you could handle it.
196
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,354
Oh, yeah?
197
00:08:51,421 --> 00:08:52,521
Well, I think I can.
198
00:08:52,589 --> 00:08:53,789
What was that?
199
00:08:53,857 --> 00:08:55,391
Never you mind
what that was.
200
00:08:59,062 --> 00:09:00,546
Rise and shine, everyone!
201
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:02,915
What do you got there?
202
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,267
A candy bar, huh?
203
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:05,568
Got any other
contraband?
204
00:09:05,636 --> 00:09:06,869
No.
Don't lie to me.
205
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:08,437
My father was a lawyer.
206
00:09:08,505 --> 00:09:09,972
Oh, so your dad
gets guys off.
207
00:09:11,308 --> 00:09:12,341
Peter Griffin.
Cabin clown.
208
00:09:12,392 --> 00:09:14,010
Where's your bag, fatty?
209
00:09:14,077 --> 00:09:16,012
You're welcome to
search my "beef case."
210
00:09:16,079 --> 00:09:18,064
But there's
"mutton" in there.
211
00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:19,715
Peter Griffin.
Cabin clown.
212
00:09:19,783 --> 00:09:21,584
You're in big trouble, mister.
213
00:09:21,652 --> 00:09:24,353
Oh, there's no pulling the
wool over this guy's eyes.
214
00:09:24,421 --> 00:09:26,572
Looks like I'd better
go on the "lamb."
215
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,424
Peter Griffin.
Cabin clown.
216
00:09:31,411 --> 00:09:34,196
I think I'm gonna do okay here
at fat camp.
217
00:09:34,264 --> 00:09:36,399
You sure you got
the "chops" for it?
218
00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:38,150
Knock it off.
I'm the cabin clown.
219
00:09:43,907 --> 00:09:45,841
And then he went
into the kitchen,
220
00:09:45,909 --> 00:09:49,595
slowly opened the refrigerator,
and it was empty!
221
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:51,914
So then, the man,
222
00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:53,849
weak with hunger,
raced from the refrigerator
223
00:09:53,917 --> 00:09:56,519
to the counter
to look for a delivery menu,
224
00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:59,422
but all he could find was one
for a vegan place!
225
00:10:01,308 --> 00:10:03,025
Vegan places aren't
real, right?
226
00:10:03,093 --> 00:10:06,028
No, they're not real.
Or are they?!
227
00:10:06,096 --> 00:10:07,196
Aah! Salad!
228
00:10:09,499 --> 00:10:10,933
Thank you
for sharing, Leonard.
229
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,435
And I think getting a new couch
was the way to go.
230
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,304
Is there someone else
who has a story
231
00:10:15,372 --> 00:10:16,572
they'd like to share? Peter?
232
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,840
Uh, yeah, sure.
233
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,909
This one time,
I was on a city bus,
234
00:10:19,976 --> 00:10:21,444
and the guy next to me
235
00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:23,245
was eating a bucket
of fried chicken.
236
00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:24,980
- Mmm! - Ooh!
Yum!
237
00:10:25,048 --> 00:10:27,316
And the smell was
getting to me, you know.
238
00:10:27,384 --> 00:10:29,518
And even though
I didn't know the guy,
239
00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:31,220
I just dug in
240
00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:33,289
and started stuffing
that chicken into my mouth.
241
00:10:33,357 --> 00:10:34,423
O-Oh!
Embarrassing.
242
00:10:34,491 --> 00:10:35,691
I've done that.
243
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:37,093
It was so delicious.
244
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,729
But... it wasn't
fried chicken.
245
00:10:39,796 --> 00:10:41,964
It was a baby!
246
00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:44,700
It was a baby.
247
00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:51,941
Stewie?
248
00:10:52,008 --> 00:10:54,810
Rupert, we won't give
that evil robot
249
00:10:54,878 --> 00:10:56,445
the satisfaction of killing us.
250
00:10:56,513 --> 00:10:59,198
We'll go together
on our own terms.
251
00:10:59,266 --> 00:11:01,283
See you on the other side.
252
00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:03,252
Oh, my God!
253
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,670
Stewie, no!
254
00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:06,072
What the hell's
wrong with you?!
255
00:11:06,139 --> 00:11:07,506
It's that robot!
256
00:11:07,574 --> 00:11:09,775
He killed Queen,
and now he's going to kill me!
257
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,077
He didn't kill Queen.
258
00:11:11,144 --> 00:11:12,211
They're all fine.
259
00:11:12,279 --> 00:11:14,063
Most of them are fine.
260
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:16,082
Look, Stewie, I'm sorry
for scaring you, all right?
261
00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:18,217
But come on,
it's not a real robot.
262
00:11:18,301 --> 00:11:20,335
See? It, It's
just an album. Look.
263
00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:22,288
Here, you want
to hit it?
264
00:11:22,355 --> 00:11:24,957
Well... I'm usually more
comfortable around things
265
00:11:25,025 --> 00:11:26,992
if I can put them
in my mouth.
266
00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:28,844
So, can I put it
in my mouth?
267
00:11:28,895 --> 00:11:29,962
I guess.
268
00:11:31,531 --> 00:11:33,032
This is just an album!
269
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,551
Yeah, that's what I've
been trying to tell you.
270
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:37,420
So, you know,
can you forgive me?
271
00:11:37,487 --> 00:11:39,872
Oh, I suppose so.
272
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,807
I mean, Magellan forgave
the "Land Ho" prankster.
273
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,109
Land ho!
274
00:11:43,176 --> 00:11:44,360
Where?! Where?!
275
00:11:44,428 --> 00:11:45,761
Psych! Made you
look, loser.
276
00:11:45,829 --> 00:11:47,096
Good thing
there wasn't land
277
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,064
or else you'd have
to meet the natives
278
00:11:49,132 --> 00:11:50,766
with that mustard stain on your shirt.
What stain?
279
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:51,967
Ah!
280
00:11:52,035 --> 00:11:54,336
Ugh! Why did I even bring
you on this trip?!
281
00:11:54,404 --> 00:11:55,738
Because I'm the best
damn land spotter
282
00:11:55,806 --> 00:11:56,939
in all of Europe.
283
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,474
It's true.
You are the best.
284
00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:00,443
Yeah, I don't need you
to tell me that.
285
00:12:04,414 --> 00:12:06,348
Dad, I can't take
this anymore.
286
00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:10,386
I'm so tired
and I'm so hungry.
287
00:12:10,454 --> 00:12:12,238
I got an idea, Chris.
Follow me.
288
00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:14,890
What are we doing?
289
00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:17,359
I saw a forest like this
in a book one time,
290
00:12:17,410 --> 00:12:19,628
and I know there's a gingerbread
house out here somewhere.
291
00:12:19,696 --> 00:12:21,030
Do you think
we could find it?!
292
00:12:21,097 --> 00:12:22,982
We have to, Chris.
We-we gotta eat something
293
00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:24,283
besides what
they're feeding us.
294
00:12:24,351 --> 00:12:26,018
I know what
you mean, Dad.
295
00:12:26,086 --> 00:12:28,687
I'm so hungry I could
eat this dead camper.
296
00:12:28,755 --> 00:12:29,989
Holy crap!
297
00:12:35,896 --> 00:12:38,464
Well, we clearly don't have
all the evidence yet,
298
00:12:38,532 --> 00:12:40,599
but that's never
stopped us before, right?
299
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:46,021
Oh, there's no other cops here.
300
00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:49,024
But we do know one thing,
this kid was murdered.
301
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,527
Murdered?!
Who in the world
302
00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:52,761
would want to
kill a camper?
303
00:12:52,829 --> 00:12:54,363
Don't look at me.
304
00:12:54,431 --> 00:12:55,948
I'm just here to
drop off my son.
305
00:12:56,032 --> 00:13:00,452
Justin? Justin,
that does not work for me.
306
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,288
And it looks like there
are signs of trauma
307
00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:03,789
around the throat.
308
00:13:03,857 --> 00:13:05,758
Somebody strangled
this fat kid.
309
00:13:05,825 --> 00:13:07,159
Wait. He was strangled?
310
00:13:07,227 --> 00:13:08,227
Yeah.
311
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:09,628
Joe, I know
who did it.
312
00:13:09,696 --> 00:13:11,163
You do? Who?
313
00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:12,915
Well, there's
only one person I know
314
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,633
who likes to strangle fat guys:
315
00:13:14,718 --> 00:13:16,452
Patrick Pewterschmidt.
316
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,253
Who's that?
317
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,555
My brother-in-law.
318
00:13:19,622 --> 00:13:22,808
People call him
"The Fat Guy Strangler."
319
00:13:22,893 --> 00:13:26,295
He's always had a thing
for strangling fat guys.
320
00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,831
I guess he fits
the profile, Peter,
321
00:13:28,899 --> 00:13:31,100
but Lois's brother is
locked up in an asylum.
322
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:33,302
Well, either way,
we gotta get out of here.
323
00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:34,737
Otherwise,
we're just sitting ducks!
324
00:13:34,804 --> 00:13:37,573
Hey, we all know this guy
goes for the classy ladies.
325
00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:39,174
In fact, I once
caught him trying
326
00:13:39,242 --> 00:13:40,442
to pick up
a quack whore.
327
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:44,013
All right, calm down.
328
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,015
We all make bad choices.
329
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,252
Hello?
330
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,554
Lois, I hope
you're sitting down.
331
00:13:51,621 --> 00:13:52,755
I got something
to tell ya.
332
00:13:52,822 --> 00:13:54,156
Oh, God, what's wrong?
333
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:56,075
Is everything okay?
Is it Chris?
334
00:13:56,142 --> 00:13:57,543
No, it's Peter,
your husband.
335
00:13:57,611 --> 00:13:59,178
But I'm calling
with big news.
336
00:13:59,246 --> 00:14:00,879
I was Anita in
the camp production
337
00:14:00,947 --> 00:14:02,314
of West Side Story.
338
00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:04,783
Peter, you know you're terrible
at patter songs.
339
00:14:04,851 --> 00:14:06,452
I did okay.
340
00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,837
♪ ...America ♪
341
00:14:08,888 --> 00:14:10,472
♪ ...America ♪
342
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:11,673
♪ ...America ♪
343
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:15,094
♪ ...America. ♪
344
00:14:15,161 --> 00:14:16,395
I got other news, too.
345
00:14:16,463 --> 00:14:18,631
One of the fat kids at camp
got strangled!
346
00:14:18,698 --> 00:14:20,266
Oh, my God!
347
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:22,134
Yeah, but don't worry.
It ain't your brother.
348
00:14:22,202 --> 00:14:23,569
He's still locked up
in that asylum.
349
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:26,005
Um, Mom...
350
00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,840
look who dropped
by for a visit.
351
00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:31,110
Hello, Lois.
352
00:14:31,177 --> 00:14:32,511
Patrick!
353
00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:33,779
It's been
a long time.
354
00:14:33,847 --> 00:14:36,131
Peter, he's here!
355
00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:38,133
Wait a second, Lois,
I want to go back
356
00:14:38,201 --> 00:14:40,002
to what you said
about my patter singing.
357
00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,303
Who gives you
the right?!
358
00:14:41,371 --> 00:14:42,705
You know I carried
Pirates of Penzance
359
00:14:42,772 --> 00:14:45,274
that season at Quahog
Community Theater.
360
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:48,510
♪ I am the
...general ♪
361
00:14:48,578 --> 00:14:51,013
♪ ...mineral ♪
362
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,449
♪ ...historical ♪
363
00:14:53,516 --> 00:14:55,517
♪ ...with the eggs on top. ♪
364
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,651
Man, I hope we get back
to your house
365
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,620
before Patrick hurts
anyone else!
366
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,706
If he even lays
a finger on my family,
367
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,874
I'll do to him
what I did to the Riddler.
368
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:23,071
Freeze, psycho!
369
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,606
Oh, Peter, thank God!
370
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,441
Patrick Pewterschmidt,
you're under arrest
371
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:29,444
for the murder of, uh...
372
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,546
I didn't get
the kid's name.
373
00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:33,048
We're supposed to do that.
374
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:34,566
Lois, you called
the cops?
375
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:38,370
Patrick, you're my brother and
I love you, but you're not well.
376
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,621
But I'm better now.
377
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:40,889
I've put my past
behind me.
378
00:15:40,956 --> 00:15:42,223
Save it, Patrick.
379
00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:45,026
We know you escaped
from the asylum and killed...
380
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:46,895
Bill, we'll just call him
"Bill" for now.
381
00:15:46,962 --> 00:15:48,563
Escaped?
I-I didn't escape.
382
00:15:48,631 --> 00:15:51,199
Just this morning, a very nice
gentleman opened my cell door
383
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,967
and said I was
free to go.
384
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,337
Yeah, nice try.
That's not how it works.
385
00:15:55,404 --> 00:15:58,440
Uncle Patrick, why do you
strangle fat people?
386
00:15:58,507 --> 00:15:59,808
It's probably
a weird fetish thing.
387
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,376
Some criminals have 'em.
388
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:03,111
Like those anal-retentive
bandits
389
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,779
who robbed Quahog Bank
last year.
390
00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:07,282
All right, hands in the air!
Vertically!
391
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:09,184
Both arms should be
parallel to each other!
392
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,736
You, fill this bag with clean,
unmarked bills!
393
00:16:11,821 --> 00:16:14,723
But first fix that notepad
so it's at a right angle
394
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,191
with the corner of your desk!
395
00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:18,410
And tap that pile of receipts
against a flat surface
396
00:16:18,494 --> 00:16:19,861
so they're not sticking out
haphazardly!
397
00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:21,229
You know what?!
Forget about the money!
398
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,364
Everybody grab a broom!
399
00:16:22,431 --> 00:16:23,565
We are straightening
this place up!
400
00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,219
All right, campers,
401
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,888
until the Fat Guy Strangler
is caught,
402
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,290
everyone has to stay
inside their cabins.
403
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:33,892
Now I'm gonna do
a stomach count.
404
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,660
When I call your name,
please respond.
405
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:36,694
Jenkins?
406
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:38,696
Robertson?
407
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:40,732
Davis?
408
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,567
Elliot?
409
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:43,468
Where's Elliot?
410
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:44,936
I think he's asleep.
411
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,472
Elliot?
Elliot, wake up.
412
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,958
Elliot?
413
00:16:51,527 --> 00:16:52,861
Officer Swanson here.
414
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:54,763
What?! Oh, my God!
415
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,498
What is it, Joe?
416
00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:58,600
Another camper was strangled
half an hour ago.
417
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,869
But... that means...
418
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,037
Patrick can't be
the killer.
419
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,006
That's what I was
trying to tell you.
420
00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:06,641
Acknowledged. I'm on it.
421
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:08,410
Joe, would you settle
a camp argument?
422
00:17:08,477 --> 00:17:10,378
Is it "Bombardment"
or "Dodgeball"?
423
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,146
Dodgeball.
424
00:17:11,213 --> 00:17:12,247
Ah, you don't know.
425
00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:13,948
Well, I'd better
put out an APB
426
00:17:14,016 --> 00:17:15,483
to all
the neighboring towns.
427
00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:17,352
Oh, the murderer won't leave
the camp.
428
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,320
What?
What are you talking about?
429
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:20,755
He's "feeding."
430
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:22,891
He killed twice and
he's gonna do it again.
431
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,510
He's got plenty of places
to hide out there
432
00:17:25,594 --> 00:17:27,061
and a fully stocked corral
of victims.
433
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,513
How do you know that?
434
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,398
Trust me. I know.
435
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,584
You know, Joe, maybe Patrick can
actually be of help.
436
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:35,036
I mean, who better to get
inside the mind of someone
437
00:17:35,104 --> 00:17:37,372
who's strangling fat people
than someone who's done it himself?
438
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:38,706
Yeah, give him a chance, Joe.
439
00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:40,542
Like I did with scary teenagers.
440
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:42,877
I used to be afraid of 'em,
until I realized
441
00:17:42,945 --> 00:17:44,212
they were just misunderstood.
442
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,114
Hey, fat ass,
give me your wallet!
443
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:47,415
I could give you
my wallet,
444
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,851
but what I think
you really want...
445
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:51,186
is love.
446
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:52,854
It's true!
447
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,477
I'm taking your shoes.
448
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:07,535
Poor kid.
449
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:08,937
You know,
the weirdest thing is
450
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,555
his bunk is right next
to Chris's.
451
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:11,956
Yeah, that was
a close call.
452
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,992
Oh, it was more
than a close call.
453
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,661
You said the first victim was
wearing a baseball cap,
454
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,196
this second one is blond...
455
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,398
The killer wasn't trying
to murder this kid.
456
00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:22,400
He was trying to murder Chris.
457
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,935
Oh, my God!
458
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,187
W-Why would anyone
want to kill Chris?
459
00:18:26,255 --> 00:18:27,639
I don't know,
but I do know
460
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,841
that he's in a great deal
of danger right now.
461
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,392
Come on. Let's go!
Yeah!
462
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:34,229
But wait, this is our last
chance to do a panty raid!
463
00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,248
Yay! Fat camp!
We got it!
464
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,200
Oh, no, a gust of wind!
465
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,686
Wha, what
are you doing here?
466
00:18:58,754 --> 00:19:00,588
You dishonored me,
Chris Griffin.
467
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:03,241
No one has ever eaten
more hot dogs than me.
468
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,059
Now you must die!
469
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,755
Hey, fat ass!
470
00:19:36,225 --> 00:19:37,825
I got news for you.
471
00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:40,995
The News of the World!
472
00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:44,232
Why does robot hold
dead people?!
473
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:45,950
Is that future or past?!
474
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,876
Oh, my God, Stewie,
you saved my life!
475
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,861
Ah, you would've done
the same for me, Chris.
476
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,197
The important thing is,
we're all gonna be okay.
477
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,548
Right, Giant Robot?
478
00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:14,862
Charles Yamamoto...
went from eating champion
479
00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:16,264
to cold-blooded killer.
480
00:20:16,332 --> 00:20:17,498
Who'd have thought?
481
00:20:17,566 --> 00:20:19,400
Wait a minute, Joe.
That's the guy who opened
482
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,302
the door to my cell
yesterday and told me
483
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:22,437
I could leave
the asylum.
484
00:20:22,504 --> 00:20:24,105
Huh. Is that right?
485
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:25,673
Well, then it
all makes sense.
486
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:26,941
Yamamoto wanted it
to look like
487
00:20:27,009 --> 00:20:28,910
you broke out
on your own.
488
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,345
That way,
when he murdered Chris,
489
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:33,114
it was a cinch that you would
take the blame.
490
00:20:33,182 --> 00:20:37,051
Well, Patrick, I guess
we all owe you an apology.
491
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,086
Patrick?
492
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,021
Where did he go?
493
00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:41,389
He was just
right here.
494
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,423
What happened?!
495
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,660
Damn it!
He must've gotten away!
496
00:20:45,728 --> 00:20:46,928
How is that possible?!
497
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,796
I don't know,
but I'd better make it
498
00:20:48,864 --> 00:20:50,398
look like there
was a struggle.
499
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:51,666
Someone punch me
in the face.
500
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,452
I'm a good friend
to you.
501
00:20:54,477 --> 00:20:58,477
== sync, corrected by elderman ==