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00:00:01,151 --> 00:00:03,410
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:03,487 --> 00:00:06,897
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:06,899 --> 00:00:10,325
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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Chris, you've hardly touched
your food.
11
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-Mom, are you a scientist?
-No.
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Then quit putting me under
a (bleep) microscope!
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Ah, there you are.
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Boy, does it feel good
to walk into the right house.
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-Hey, Dad,
are you a scientist?
-Don't answer, Peter.
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Oh, by the way,
don't make plans for Sunday.
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We're taking Stewie
to the children's museum.
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Can't go, Lois, I got tickets
to a meaningless
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April baseball game.
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Now, who wants to come with me
and be as cold as
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you've ever been
in your whole life?
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-I do.
-Awesome.
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We're gonna have a great time,
like flies on dog poop.
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(buzzing)
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Sorry, gentlemen,
the dog poop is full.
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Come on in, ladies.
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Why is Meg here?
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Something happened last week
and she can't be left alone.
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Like, legally.
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Meg, where you going?
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Come on, Meg,
you got to stay by me.
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I wasn't gonna do anything.
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Look, it's just a few months.
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-Next.
-Hi. Three adults
and one infant, please.
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Nice try, lady.
That kid's at least three.
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What? That's insane.
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Brian, do I look old to you?
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You look fine. Guys shouldn't
have those, by the way.
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But the museum man--
Meg wandered off.
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That may end up being a problem.
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The museum man just said
I looked over two.
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That's mid-toddler.
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I ain't trying to hear that.
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Stewie, who cares?
Let's just enjoy the museum.
45
00:02:02,848 --> 00:02:04,790
Uh-oh, frustrated solo parent.
46
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I want the museum
with the pumpkins.
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That's the pumpkin patch.
It's gone.
48
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-(crying loudly)
-Get up, Holden.
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Holden, get... up.
50
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Get up. God!
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-Get up and we'll get a toy.
-Yay.
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I'm doing the best I can!
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(organ playing "Charge")
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Excuse us, coming through.
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Both fat. Sorry.
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All right, we got it.
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00:02:30,876 --> 00:02:31,892
What is it,
bottom of the fourth?
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My Lord, it's cold.
(gasps)
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Chris, look. Two Irish guys
who aren't drinking.
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I just got me 30-minute chip.
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Well done, lad.
Here's to you.
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Oh, well, Finnegan begin again.
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ANNOUNCER (over P.A.):
Now batting for Boston,
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Xander Bogaerts.
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(cheers and applause)
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All right, Dad,
I've got my ball ready
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00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,008
in case Xander hits
a glove our way.
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00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,760
Okay, got to talk
more sports with you.
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(crowd roaring)
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BOTH:
Yeah!
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(organ plays)
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ANNOUNCER:
Folks, that was Xander Bogaerts'
200th career home run.
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(organ plays)
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Heavens to Betsy,
what a home run.
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Aye. Now let's take offense
at something
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we thought we heard
someone say.
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Let's go, Red Sox.
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What did you call me?
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Now, before you say anything,
Brian,
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this is very important to me.
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Stewie, what the hell
did you do to yourself?
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Nothing. Almost nothing.
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Just a little Botox,
a little filler.
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-Maybe some strings.
-Stewie, I can't believe...
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Oh, there's Meg.
She's wandering outside.
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She shouldn't be doing that,
right?
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Meg, come back inside.
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You're not in trouble,
just come back inside.
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She should be in her room
thinking about what she did.
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00:03:58,647 --> 00:04:00,313
Stewie, this face-lift
was a big mistake.
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00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:03,316
Like letting ducks be part
of the Boston Tea Party.
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We're gonna storm that ship
and get all the tea
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and throw it in the water.
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(overlapping shouting)
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00:04:08,991 --> 00:04:11,975
Yeah, but first we're gonna
storm that other ship
96
00:04:11,977 --> 00:04:14,586
and get all the bread
and throw it in the water.
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-Who's with me?
-(overlapping murmurs)
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And we got to tear the bread
into bite-size pieces
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'cause of... for taxes!
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00:04:26,174 --> 00:04:29,159
Thanks for taking me
to the baseball game, Dad.
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00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:31,495
It was so fun to watch
the basketball game
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00:04:31,497 --> 00:04:33,272
on the phone of the guy
in front of us.
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Yeah, I like that people are
never doing what they're doing.
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Hey, you're the dumpy kid
who caught Xander's homer.
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00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:39,945
I seen it on the jumbotron.
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00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,947
I'll give you a hundred bucks
for it right now.
107
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,174
Oh, I just brought
this ball from...
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Uh, uh, home. Caught from home.
Home plate, where Xander was.
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We're gonna need 300 for it.
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Hmm. Well, I guess
it's a historic ball.
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00:04:52,851 --> 00:04:55,610
Okay, you got a deal.
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Wow, I can't believe that guy
just paid us $300
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for a regular baseball.
114
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Yeah, that was so easy.
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00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:04,803
Man, people will buy anything
if they think
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it's from something famous.
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00:05:06,456 --> 00:05:09,141
And he didn't even check to see
if that was the real ball.
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My God, you're right, Chris.
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I bet we could sell
a ton of balls like that,
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00:05:13,372 --> 00:05:15,981
and maybe other stuff, too,
not just sports.
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Hey, what do you say
you and me start
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a phony memorabilia business?
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-I'm in.
-Great.
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Now let's walk through
the dangerous part of the city
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'cause Daddy didn't want to pay
three extra bucks for parking.
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Aah! Boston University guys,
not Harvard guys!
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(cries out)
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ALL:
Doy, doy, doy, doy,
doy, doy, doy...
129
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,917
Hey, Chris, what are you up to?
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Just finishing our fake
memorabilia website.
131
00:05:46,738 --> 00:05:48,922
-What's this now?
-From last night.
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It was your idea.
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Oh, I was blacked out.
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-You drove us home.
-Yeah, with the window open.
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00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:57,764
You see, son, fresh air--
Hey, Meg.
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00:05:57,841 --> 00:05:59,933
Sweetie, where's
your hallway buddy?
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00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:01,193
Dad, I'm fine.
138
00:06:01,269 --> 00:06:03,344
I know you're fine. I'm fine.
We're all fine.
139
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,197
It's just I'm gonna need you
to go find your hallway buddy.
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Okay? There's a good girl.
Thank you.
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00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,023
Oh, my God,
your baby is adorable.
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00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,378
-So cute.
-Let me guess, ten months?
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00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:22,122
Oh, my God, My new look
is working.
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I'm back into months.
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00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:26,868
Chris, what's all
that lotion for?
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00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,054
Are you a scientist, Mom?
147
00:06:29,131 --> 00:06:32,265
-I'm a scientist.
-It's for masturbating.
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Okay, time to hit the road
149
00:06:38,457 --> 00:06:40,457
for the sports and memorabilia
convention.
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00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:42,142
-Ready to go?
-Yep.
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00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:44,069
All right, here we go.
152
00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:47,406
I have to go to the bathroom.
153
00:06:47,482 --> 00:06:48,907
Chris, we just left.
154
00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:50,483
I know, but I got to go.
155
00:06:50,636 --> 00:06:53,486
Ah, fine.
We'll pull over at Joe's.
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-Bathroom's for customers only.
-(sighs)
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00:06:56,324 --> 00:06:57,824
All right, how much is the gum?
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00:06:57,826 --> 00:06:59,476
-Four dollars.
-For gum?
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00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:02,479
-Go somewhere else.
-Fine.
160
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:04,998
Bathroom code is
six-six-four-eight-two-
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00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,925
six-one-zero-three-
five-five-four-nine.
162
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,927
Could you--
Could you say that again?
163
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,336
You got to buy
another pack of gum.
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(groans)
165
00:07:13,082 --> 00:07:14,415
Six-six-four-eight-two-six-one-
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00:07:14,493 --> 00:07:16,326
zero-three-five-five-four-nine.
167
00:07:16,328 --> 00:07:17,919
Okay, six-six-four-eight-two...
168
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:18,920
What-What's the rest?
169
00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,273
Here, let me have
Tommy Tutone sing it for you.
170
00:07:21,349 --> 00:07:23,275
♪ Six-six-four-eight ♪
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00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:26,169
♪ Two-six-one-zero-three-
five-five-four-nine ♪
172
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:27,337
♪ Six-six-four-eight ♪
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00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:30,264
♪ Two-six-one-zero-three-
five-five-four-nine ♪
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00:07:30,342 --> 00:07:32,175
-♪ I got it ♪
-♪ He got it ♪
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00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:33,702
♪ I got it. ♪
176
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,126
What's this?
177
00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:44,129
This is O.J. Simpson's
Heisman Trophy.
178
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(whispering):
Are you crazy?
179
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,299
You shouldn't claim
to have that.
180
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:49,025
Relax, it's fine.
181
00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:51,261
What are the chances he tries
to steal it back twice?
182
00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:55,198
Hey, did he sign your head?
183
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,726
-No.
-He signed my head.
184
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:04,874
Stewie, you know, I've been
thinking about this whole--
185
00:08:04,893 --> 00:08:07,877
Oh, my God, what happened
to your face?
186
00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:10,547
-Stewie?
-Hello? Who's there?
187
00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:13,216
Sorry, Brian, my eyes
don't close when I sleep,
188
00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:15,977
and I'm blind for a few seconds
when I first wake up.
189
00:08:16,054 --> 00:08:18,054
Stewie, you got
more plastic surgery?
190
00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:19,556
I know, it was a mistake.
191
00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:21,391
I told you not to do this.
192
00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:23,393
You're way too young to be
getting plastic surgery.
193
00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:25,486
(whistles nasally)
194
00:08:25,564 --> 00:08:27,397
-Stewie!
-What? Who's there?
195
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,824
Sorry, Brian, my eyes
don't close when I sleep,
196
00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:32,235
and I'm blind for a few seconds
when I first wake up.
197
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:33,253
Yeah, you already said that.
198
00:08:33,663 --> 00:08:36,239
I think one of the cuts got
too close to my brain.
199
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:38,241
Brian, school pictures
are in two days.
200
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:39,759
What am I gonna do?
201
00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:41,335
All right, don't worry.
Here's what we're gonna do.
202
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:43,096
(Stewie whistles nasally)
203
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:44,430
-Stewie!
-Who's there?
204
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:47,341
Oh, Brian, I need your help.
This is a nightmare.
205
00:08:47,419 --> 00:08:49,510
I couldn't afford
Jennifer Aniston's doctor.
206
00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,679
I had to use Kenny Rogers'.
207
00:08:51,757 --> 00:08:54,282
(The Price Is Right
losing horn playing)
208
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,281
Great news, Dad.
209
00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:04,784
Legit Collectibles just had
our biggest sale ever.
210
00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,211
Shh, I don't want
your mother to hear.
211
00:09:06,288 --> 00:09:08,029
Don't worry, she won't.
212
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:10,197
She's on the phone with
her dramatic friend Gina.
213
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,366
No, I believe you saw a ghost,
214
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:15,128
but y-you talked to him
for 45 minutes?
215
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,055
Maybe that part was a dream.
216
00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:18,798
Okay, what'd we sell?
217
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,042
You know the captain's hat
we said Sully Sullenberger
218
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,061
was wearing when he landed
in the Hudson?
219
00:09:23,138 --> 00:09:25,972
Someone bought it off
our website for five grand.
220
00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:28,474
No way.
What moron paid that much?
221
00:09:28,551 --> 00:09:31,886
Um, someone named
Obi-Wan Quagmire.
222
00:09:31,888 --> 00:09:33,479
Obi-Wan Quagmire.
223
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:36,866
-I wonder if they mean
old Glenn Quagmire.
-(knock on door)
224
00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:40,561
Check out my new
Sully Sullenberger hat.
225
00:09:40,639 --> 00:09:42,155
And tell Kate to
clear the runway
226
00:09:42,231 --> 00:09:44,307
'cause I'm going down
on the Hudson.
227
00:09:44,309 --> 00:09:45,750
The-the Hudson Brothers?
228
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,252
No. Who are they?
229
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:48,920
Oh, we've got a short clip.
230
00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:51,314
(upbeat music playing)
231
00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:54,092
-(laughter)
-(tires screech)
232
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,318
ANNOUNCER:
It's The Hudson Brothers
233
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,337
Razzle Dazzle Show,
234
00:09:57,413 --> 00:10:01,007
starring Bill, Mark and Brett,
the Hudson Brothers.
235
00:10:01,159 --> 00:10:03,101
♪
236
00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:08,181
With Ted Zeigler,
237
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:10,166
Billy Van,
238
00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,110
and Peter Cullen.
239
00:10:12,261 --> 00:10:14,446
Murray Langston
and Freeman King.
240
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,948
Avril Chown.
241
00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:19,451
The Bear.
242
00:10:19,527 --> 00:10:24,080
And Rod Hull and his
extraordinary Australian emu.
243
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,127
And sets, lights,
and all sorts of fun things...
244
00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:34,281
...on The Hudson Brothers
Razzle Dazzle Show.
245
00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:36,526
(laughter)
246
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:38,470
-♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
-♪ Set yourself down ♪
247
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:41,030
-♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
-♪ It's time to turn it on ♪
248
00:10:41,032 --> 00:10:43,032
-♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
-♪ Get up on your feet ♪
249
00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:45,960
♪ And razzle-dazzle ♪
250
00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:47,771
♪
251
00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:57,822
-♪ Hey, do you want
a good time? ♪
-♪ Razzle ♪
252
00:10:57,899 --> 00:10:59,899
-♪ Well, we're gonna
lay it on the line ♪
-♪ Dazzle ♪
253
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,826
♪ Now we're gonna
have a good time ♪
254
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:04,053
♪ And razzle-dazzle ♪
255
00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:06,723
-♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
-♪ Set yourself down ♪
256
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:09,058
-♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
-♪ It's time to turn it on ♪
257
00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:11,060
-♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
-♪ Get up on your feet ♪
258
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,912
♪ And razzle-dazzle... ♪
259
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,580
(muttering)
260
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,082
...take my Saturday
morning away.
261
00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:18,760
I'll show them...
(screams)
262
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,764
(whooping)
263
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,041
ANNOUNCER:
And here they are,
the Hudson Brothers.
264
00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:52,085
(cheering, applause)
265
00:11:54,789 --> 00:11:56,798
♪
266
00:12:00,111 --> 00:12:04,371
♪ We're gonna
razzle-dazzle you ♪
267
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,450
♪ You'll never believe
all the things we can do ♪
268
00:12:07,469 --> 00:12:10,970
♪ We're gonna
razzle-dazzle you ♪
269
00:12:10,972 --> 00:12:14,807
♪ Yes, we're gonna
razzle-dazzle ♪
270
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:15,975
♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
271
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:17,477
♪ Set yourself down ♪
272
00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:19,145
♪ Razzle dazzle ♪
273
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:20,813
♪ It's time to turn it on ♪
274
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:24,968
♪ Razzle dazzle. ♪
275
00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:26,911
(cheering, applause)
276
00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:36,045
We'll be right back.
277
00:12:40,652 --> 00:12:42,761
(laughs)
278
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,431
(shouts) Bird strike.
We hit a goose.
279
00:12:46,508 --> 00:12:48,433
I'm going down. I'm going down.
280
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:52,228
Nope. Not today.
281
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,165
(laughs)
282
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,276
Oh, boy, we are screwed.
283
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,279
If Mr. Quagmire ever finds out
that's just The Skipper's hat
284
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:04,507
from our Skipper and Gilligan
Halloween costume last year...
285
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:06,785
You sold him my Skipper hat?
286
00:13:08,604 --> 00:13:10,955
Damn it, I need the hat.
But you're right.
287
00:13:11,107 --> 00:13:12,439
If he ever figures it out,
we're in trouble.
288
00:13:12,517 --> 00:13:14,017
What are we gonna do?
289
00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:17,295
Well, we definitely
shouldn't kill him, Dad.
290
00:13:17,446 --> 00:13:20,006
Right? That's not an option?
291
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,525
At this point, there's only
one way out of this.
292
00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:25,053
Time to use the go bag.
293
00:13:26,531 --> 00:13:29,532
Chris, you are now Colin
Parmesan of Athens, Greece.
294
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:32,051
You sell prosthetic ears
to veterans.
295
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:34,220
-Got it.
-Would you like
any more details?
296
00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:37,723
Dad, I'm an ear salesman.
I got it.
297
00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:41,802
And I'm Mr. Fields, husband
of cookie legend Mrs. Fields.
298
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,470
You could pick anyone
and you chose
299
00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:45,882
to be the husband
of somebody famous?
300
00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:47,900
Look, it lets me have
all the cookies I want
301
00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:49,402
and play golf every day.
302
00:13:49,404 --> 00:13:50,887
Okay, I guess you're right.
303
00:13:50,889 --> 00:13:52,855
Happily married,
you do what you like.
304
00:13:52,857 --> 00:13:54,223
Well, we're great friends.
305
00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:56,225
Oh, I'm sorry.
306
00:13:56,244 --> 00:13:57,894
No, no, no, it's fine,
it's fine.
307
00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,562
We-we both realized
the physical thing
308
00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:02,006
wasn't working for us anymore
and we sleep much better
309
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,158
in our separate bedrooms
in the same house.
310
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,086
And I can keep my room cold,
how I like it.
311
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:10,239
Dad, you sound like
you're gonna cry.
312
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:13,926
Sometimes you realize happily
ever after isn't for everyone.
313
00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:16,771
-(crying)
-I don't think
this is gonna work.
314
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:25,029
What you keep looking at, Peter?
315
00:14:25,106 --> 00:14:27,014
Do you know about some terror?
316
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,034
No, no, relax. I'm-I'm just, uh,
just curious to see
317
00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:32,186
what Quagmire's gonna be
wearing when he gets here.
318
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:36,023
(chuckles) I think our outfits
are pretty much set, Pete.
319
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,193
Check it out, guys,
a piece of aviation history:
320
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,120
the cap Sully Sullenberger wore
321
00:14:41,197 --> 00:14:42,863
when he landed
in the Hudson River.
322
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,215
Whoa, that's his actual hat?
323
00:14:44,292 --> 00:14:46,551
Yep. Want to smell
Sully's sweat?
324
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,720
(sniffs)
I don't smell anything.
325
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:52,965
That's right.
'Cause Sully never sweats.
326
00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:55,376
Is this someone
white people know?
327
00:14:55,453 --> 00:14:57,470
I'm gonna get it signed
by the man himself.
328
00:14:57,472 --> 00:15:00,732
Wait, Sully's alive?
And you're gonna show it to him?
329
00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:02,400
Sure am. He's doing
a signing tomorrow
330
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,127
at the airport bookstore.
331
00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:06,145
Uh, hey, listen, I don't know
about this plan, Glenn.
332
00:15:06,297 --> 00:15:08,481
Uh, nobody likes to see
their old hats.
333
00:15:08,483 --> 00:15:09,966
Hey, if you're gonna be
at the airport,
334
00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:11,817
could you pick me up
a $45 neck pillow
335
00:15:11,894 --> 00:15:14,078
I'll forget to pack
for my next trip?
336
00:15:14,155 --> 00:15:16,155
-I love this hat.
-You know, Quagmire,
337
00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:18,324
I was gonna be at the airport
tomorrow anyway.
338
00:15:18,326 --> 00:15:20,251
Why don't I take your hat
and get it signed for you?
339
00:15:20,328 --> 00:15:21,994
Why are you going
to the airport?
340
00:15:21,996 --> 00:15:23,496
I want to hang out
with the boarding group B
341
00:15:23,648 --> 00:15:25,256
cell phone holster guys.
342
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:26,907
It's mostly just standing around
343
00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:29,761
and asking each other
if we're also in group B.
344
00:15:29,837 --> 00:15:31,654
Do you also ask if group B
has boarded yet,
345
00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:34,157
and "is this the line
for boarding group B?"
346
00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:36,826
Yeah, you know it, Joe.
Are you a boarding group B guy?
347
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:38,344
(laughs):
Me? Oh.
348
00:15:38,496 --> 00:15:40,346
No, no, no, no, no.
349
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:43,924
I, uh, I get on early
with the babies.
350
00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:44,943
Look, I'm already
gonna be there,
351
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,836
so you should just
give me the hat.
352
00:15:46,838 --> 00:15:48,446
Yeah, thanks for the offer,
but I'm not passing up
353
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,506
a chance to meet my hero.
354
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:53,826
Is this the guy
we're talking about?
355
00:15:58,199 --> 00:16:00,458
Wow, I can't believe this.
356
00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:02,961
Daryl Hannah,
it is an absolute pleasure.
357
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,855
-I loved you in Splash.
-No, Doctor, this is Stewie.
358
00:16:05,857 --> 00:16:07,465
He needs you to help
fix his face.
359
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:09,283
Oh, absolutely, I can do that.
360
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,452
Great. Is it a simple procedure?
361
00:16:11,529 --> 00:16:13,863
Oh, sure. We just break
every bone in his face
362
00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:16,165
and then smush 'em back
into position.
363
00:16:16,201 --> 00:16:19,035
Dr. Hartman, where'd you get
your medical degree from?
364
00:16:19,037 --> 00:16:21,871
I went to BU.
You know our fight song, right?
365
00:16:21,873 --> 00:16:24,899
♪ Doy, doy, d-doy-doy,
doy, doy, doy, doy, doy, doy. ♪
366
00:16:30,231 --> 00:16:32,215
All right, Stewie. You ready?
367
00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:35,218
Wow. Dr. Hartman
really did a good job.
368
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,978
Yep. He told me bed rest
and ice packs for two days
369
00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:40,556
so it can set, but I'm not
missing picture day.
370
00:16:40,575 --> 00:16:43,150
Huh. You sure you shouldn't
listen to the doctor?
371
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:45,878
-Brian, I know what I'm doing.
-PHOTOGRAPHER: Next.
372
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:50,491
One, two, three.
373
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,926
(gasps)
374
00:16:56,499 --> 00:16:59,091
Oh, my God, Tyler.
Do you remember this?
375
00:16:59,168 --> 00:17:02,169
I do, I do.
We've come a long way.
376
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:05,064
We've come a lot of ways.
377
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,030
All right, Chris,
we got to stop Quagmire
378
00:17:12,106 --> 00:17:13,923
from meeting
Captain Sullenberger.
379
00:17:13,925 --> 00:17:16,517
Only thing is, since 9/11,
you can't run in airports,
380
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,287
so we got to fat-guy
hustle-walk our way there.
381
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,121
Oh, no. We're too late.
382
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:31,883
We shouldn't have stopped
for that airport Toblerone.
383
00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:35,094
We had to.
It's like European shark teeth.
384
00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:40,466
Hold on,
Sully's looking at the hat.
385
00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:42,209
It is an honor to meet you, sir.
386
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,470
And it was an honor
to purchase the actual hat
387
00:17:44,472 --> 00:17:46,338
you wore on that fateful day.
388
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:48,974
-You know, I'm a pilot myself.
-Oh, you are?
389
00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:50,902
What's your record
for longest "uh"?
390
00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:52,978
-Eleven seconds.
-Let's hear it.
391
00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:55,990
Folks, from the tower, uh...
392
00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:07,251
...they've
cleared us to push back,
393
00:18:07,403 --> 00:18:08,753
we'll be departing shortly.
394
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:12,148
Hey, that's great.
My personal best is 34 sec...
395
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,150
34 seconds in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
396
00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:17,929
I know. The Tulsa Uh.
As I said, big fan.
397
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,434
Here you go.
398
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,105
Thank you, sir.
399
00:18:30,335 --> 00:18:33,169
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go back to my life
400
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:36,355
as the most famous Chesley
who's ever lived.
401
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:38,783
This is the greatest day
of my life.
402
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,676
(squealing)
403
00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:41,953
-(liquid splatters)
-MAN: Ow, my smoothie.
404
00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:44,956
MAN 2:
Ow, mine, too.
I'm on the other side.
405
00:18:45,107 --> 00:18:48,442
I can't believe it. Sully didn't
tell him the hat was fake.
406
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:52,204
Well, he's not that smart.
He did crash a plane.
407
00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:54,298
Excuse me, uh,
Captain Sullenberger,
408
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,192
I was just wondering
why you pretended
409
00:18:56,194 --> 00:18:57,951
that was your real hat
just then.
410
00:18:58,029 --> 00:18:59,862
-Well, Peter...
-I never said my name.
411
00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:01,455
...when my plane was going down,
412
00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:04,625
I remembered a famous saying
we have in aviation.
413
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:09,538
It goes, "Chesley is a perfectly
normal name for a person."
414
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:12,266
And what it means is, you
have to believe in yourself.
415
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:15,044
I didn't think I could land
my plane in the Hudson,
416
00:19:15,046 --> 00:19:16,896
but I believed I could.
417
00:19:16,898 --> 00:19:19,882
And that belief gave me
the courage to try.
418
00:19:19,901 --> 00:19:22,385
So, if that man
believes he has my hat,
419
00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:25,163
maybe that'll make him
a little bit better husband...
420
00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:26,480
-Nope.
-Little better dad...
421
00:19:26,557 --> 00:19:28,224
-Nope.
-Little better sex character
422
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:30,817
who doesn't play as well
in the Me Too era.
423
00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:32,395
Oh, so you do watch the show.
424
00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:35,231
It's on,
i-it's on a lot of planes.
425
00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:39,402
All I know is,
I didn't save 155 souls
426
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:43,088
on the Hudson
just to shatter dreams on land.
427
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:46,184
You know what? You're as good
a guy as they say.
428
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,761
Hey, why do they call this place
the Hudson News?
429
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,337
I assume
it's because they're owned
430
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:52,506
-by the Hudson Brothers.
-Sully, no!
431
00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:55,342
(upbeat music playing)
432
00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:58,029
-(laughter)
-(tires screech)
433
00:19:58,105 --> 00:20:00,847
ANNOUNCER:
It's the Hudson Brothers
Razzle Dazzle Show,
434
00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:04,777
starring Bill, Mark and Brett,
the Hudson Brothers.
435
00:20:04,853 --> 00:20:06,120
♪
436
00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:14,453
Well, Chris, I guess
we learned our lesson
437
00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:16,363
about selling phony memorabilia.
438
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:17,381
Did we?
439
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,718
We never got caught
and we actually made some money.
440
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,611
Oh, yeah, you're right.
441
00:20:22,613 --> 00:20:25,038
Hey, hand me that stack
of Kobe jerseys and a Sharpie.
442
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,040
Guys, I just found
Meg's ankle bracelet.
443
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,301
-So?
-Her foot's still in it.
444
00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:31,136
(beeping)
445
00:20:31,138 --> 00:20:33,806
(helicopter blades whirring)
446
00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:36,067
(Meg grunting)
447
00:20:40,889 --> 00:20:42,823
(panting)
448
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:53,084
Hey, Meg?
Where's your creek buddy?
449
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,328
You're not in any trouble,
you just need a creek buddy.
450
00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:58,089
(helicopter blades whirring)