1
00:00:00,619 --> 00:00:03,687
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:07,091
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,158 --> 00:00:10,227
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:10,295 --> 00:00:13,197
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:17,134
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,202 --> 00:00:20,070
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:20,138 --> 00:00:21,672
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:23,040
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:23,108 --> 00:00:26,210
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:30,312
♪ Family Guy 9x11 ♪
Friends of Peter G.
Original Air Date on Febuary 13, 2011
11
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:33,881
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
12
00:00:35,017 --> 00:00:36,084
All right, come on,
hurry up, Brian.
13
00:00:36,155 --> 00:00:38,456
I don't want to miss the movie
trivia slides before the movie.
14
00:00:38,524 --> 00:00:40,258
Peter, those questions
are the easiest,
15
00:00:40,326 --> 00:00:41,827
most pandering things
in the world.
16
00:00:46,299 --> 00:00:47,899
Oh! Oh! Tim Honks!
Tim Honks!
17
00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:49,100
Forrest Gump. I win.
18
00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,104
Who?
19
00:00:55,374 --> 00:00:56,608
Ah, good.
It's starting.
20
00:00:56,676 --> 00:00:58,109
Yeah, that's what you say.
21
00:00:58,177 --> 00:01:00,645
I can never figure out when
the hell the studio logos end
22
00:01:00,713 --> 00:01:01,947
and the actual movie begins.
23
00:01:03,482 --> 00:01:05,617
All right. Let's see
what you got, FOX.
24
00:01:05,685 --> 00:01:08,520
Oh, I bet that's a sea monst...
25
00:01:08,588 --> 00:01:10,388
Oh, that's not the movie.
26
00:01:10,456 --> 00:01:12,757
That's... yeah, I think
I heard of them.
27
00:01:12,825 --> 00:01:15,594
Here we go. Movie!
28
00:01:15,661 --> 00:01:19,064
Well, now, that seems
intentionally misleading.
29
00:01:19,131 --> 00:01:22,000
All right, someone's
coming to town.
30
00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:25,237
Oh, for crying out loud.
31
00:01:25,304 --> 00:01:28,406
Oh, all right. Period movie.
32
00:01:28,474 --> 00:01:30,375
Oh, not a period movie.
33
00:01:32,845 --> 00:01:34,980
Oh, this guy's in trouble.
34
00:01:35,047 --> 00:01:36,648
Can't wait to hear his story.
35
00:01:38,417 --> 00:01:39,818
Oh, come on!
36
00:01:42,588 --> 00:01:44,356
Psst. Hey, Brian.
You want a drink?
37
00:01:44,423 --> 00:01:45,991
You snuck in liquor?
38
00:01:46,058 --> 00:01:48,960
Yeah, loosens me up so I can
talk to the people around me.
39
00:01:49,028 --> 00:01:50,662
All right, I'll, uh,
get in on that.
40
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,035
Hey, I
already seen this movie.
41
00:01:57,103 --> 00:02:00,071
Let's talk... let's talk about
other movies we've seen.
42
00:02:00,139 --> 00:02:01,640
That's an excellent idea.
43
00:02:01,707 --> 00:02:04,142
I like... I like The Madness
of King George.
44
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:05,911
Well, I don't know
what that is,
45
00:02:05,978 --> 00:02:07,746
but The... The Cat
From Outer Space
46
00:02:07,813 --> 00:02:09,848
is a solid
motion picture.
47
00:02:09,916 --> 00:02:12,083
Oh, and... and I like...
I like King Ralph
48
00:02:12,151 --> 00:02:13,852
'cause... 'cause that's...
that's the last guy
49
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,154
you'd expect to be
king of nothing.
50
00:02:16,222 --> 00:02:17,622
Hey, shut up!
51
00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:19,724
Hey, I'm... I'm not
the only one talking.
52
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:22,360
That... that big guy up
there on the screen's
53
00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:24,229
been talking through
the whole movie.
54
00:02:24,297 --> 00:02:26,097
Hey, jerk. Hey,
you keep it down.
55
00:02:26,165 --> 00:02:28,266
I-I don't...
I don't think he's...
56
00:02:28,334 --> 00:02:30,468
that he's listening to you.
Let's get him.
57
00:02:30,536 --> 00:02:32,704
Dear Liesl, I'd like
to be able to tell you
58
00:02:32,772 --> 00:02:34,139
how I feel about you.
59
00:02:34,206 --> 00:02:37,676
Leeza, get a... get away
from him. He's a "Nazzi."
60
00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:40,578
I-I know Jews is bad,
but thems is worse.
61
00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:42,013
Sit down!
Move.
62
00:02:42,081 --> 00:02:43,748
Stop blocking
the screen, you jerk!
63
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:46,251
I don't think... I don't
think you heard me, buddy.
64
00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:47,886
Step away from
the young lady.
65
00:02:49,956 --> 00:02:52,590
All right, Ian Ziering,
you asked for it.
66
00:02:54,894 --> 00:02:58,063
Oh, my God.
I think I'm in Narnia.
67
00:02:58,130 --> 00:02:59,597
Where am I?
68
00:02:59,665 --> 00:03:01,466
Hey, those guys
are backwards now.
69
00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:02,801
Get away from her!
70
00:03:05,504 --> 00:03:07,539
We got a report
of a disturban...
71
00:03:07,606 --> 00:03:09,541
Oh, what the hell, Peter?
72
00:03:09,608 --> 00:03:11,810
Joe, thank God.
There's a situation here.
73
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:13,511
I've got a sore finger.
74
00:03:13,579 --> 00:03:15,613
I don't give a crap.
We got bigger problems!
75
00:03:19,785 --> 00:03:21,820
Mr. Griffin
and Mr. Griffin,
76
00:03:21,887 --> 00:03:24,889
this court finds you guilty
of creating a public disturbance
77
00:03:24,957 --> 00:03:26,825
and destruction
of private property.
78
00:03:26,892 --> 00:03:30,028
And all of this while under
the influence of alcohol.
79
00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:32,263
Your Honor, if you'll
just let us explain...
80
00:03:32,331 --> 00:03:34,699
I've heard all the testimony
I'm prepared to hear.
81
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:36,668
This court sentences you both
82
00:03:36,736 --> 00:03:39,604
to 30 days
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
83
00:03:39,672 --> 00:03:41,573
Well, Your Honor, in that case,
84
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,209
I'll have to call my surprise
witness, Mr. Sockerby.
85
00:03:44,276 --> 00:03:45,543
Mr. Sockerby, before we begin,
86
00:03:45,611 --> 00:03:47,445
have you ever been convicted
of a felony?
87
00:03:47,513 --> 00:03:49,114
Yes, but that bitch
had it coming.
88
00:03:49,181 --> 00:03:51,282
Ah, okay. Uh, Your Honor, I'm...
89
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:53,351
I'm afraid I have
to withdraw this witness,
90
00:03:53,419 --> 00:03:56,521
and I am going to those things
you said I have to go to.
91
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:04,088
This sucks.
Can't believe that judge
92
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,990
is making us go
to a month of AA.
93
00:04:06,058 --> 00:04:08,292
You know, if you ask me,
this is going to be
94
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,727
a good thing for
both of you.
95
00:04:09,795 --> 00:04:11,129
There's a lesson
you need to learn.
96
00:04:11,196 --> 00:04:12,296
What are you talking about?
What lesson?
97
00:04:12,364 --> 00:04:13,865
I don't need to go to AA.
98
00:04:13,932 --> 00:04:15,299
I'm a social drinker,
not an alcoholic.
99
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:17,935
Yeah, that's like saying rappers
are really poets.
100
00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:23,875
I'm not saying she's
a gold digger,
101
00:04:23,942 --> 00:04:27,412
but she's not messing with...
102
00:04:27,479 --> 00:04:30,415
Who isn't she messing with?
103
00:04:34,053 --> 00:04:35,486
Hey, y'all.
104
00:04:35,554 --> 00:04:38,923
Okay, we got us a few new
friends here joining us tonight.
105
00:04:38,991 --> 00:04:43,061
So let's all say us
a big hello to Peter and Brian.
106
00:04:43,128 --> 00:04:45,763
Hello, Peter and Brian.
Hi there.
107
00:04:45,831 --> 00:04:48,032
All right, who'd like
to kick us off?
108
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,567
I will.
109
00:04:49,635 --> 00:04:53,004
Um, my name is Greg,
and, uh, I'm an alcoholic.
110
00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:54,572
Hi, Greg.
111
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,475
One fateful night, I, uh,
got behind the wheel
112
00:04:57,543 --> 00:05:00,244
of my brand-new sports car,
blind-drunk.
113
00:05:00,312 --> 00:05:02,413
I was responsible for the death
114
00:05:02,481 --> 00:05:04,215
of an innocent
eight-year-old girl.
115
00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,616
What kind?
What?
116
00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:07,051
What kind of car?
117
00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:08,853
You said you had
a sports car.
118
00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:09,754
That's cool,
but what kind?
119
00:05:09,822 --> 00:05:11,022
It was a Miata.
120
00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:12,757
Oh, come on. That's
not a sports car.
121
00:05:12,825 --> 00:05:14,559
How... how does that
even kill a kid?
122
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,828
What, did you hit her
over the head with it?
123
00:05:16,895 --> 00:05:18,329
That's a legitimate sports car.
No. Next.
124
00:05:18,397 --> 00:05:20,732
Jenny, would you
like to talk?
125
00:05:20,799 --> 00:05:23,367
My name is Jenny,
and I'm an alcoholic.
126
00:05:23,435 --> 00:05:25,203
Geez, anybody here
in any other line of work?
127
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:26,537
Ha.
128
00:05:26,605 --> 00:05:28,072
Hi, Jenny.
129
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:30,775
Before I found AA,
my ex-boyfriend and I
130
00:05:30,843 --> 00:05:32,376
used to get drunk
and party all night.
131
00:05:32,444 --> 00:05:34,045
I missed work half the time.
132
00:05:34,113 --> 00:05:36,514
One morning, I woke up naked
with three Persians
133
00:05:36,582 --> 00:05:38,783
high-fiving each other
on the way out of my bedroom.
134
00:05:38,851 --> 00:05:40,518
But now that I've joined
the program,
135
00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:42,353
I'm a whole different person.
136
00:05:42,421 --> 00:05:44,155
And my two new cats,
Clean and Sober,
137
00:05:44,223 --> 00:05:45,990
just think I'm tops.
138
00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:47,692
That's wonderful,
Jenny.
139
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,995
All right. Peter, do you have a
story that you'd like to share?
140
00:05:51,063 --> 00:05:52,363
Oh, yeah, I got one.
141
00:05:52,431 --> 00:05:54,599
This one time, me and Joe
and Quagmire made a bet
142
00:05:54,666 --> 00:05:56,968
to see who could drink
the most beer and still drive.
143
00:05:57,035 --> 00:05:59,303
And you know that water slide
in South Attleboro?
144
00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:07,245
Yeah!
Water slide!
145
00:06:07,312 --> 00:06:09,013
Summer fun!
146
00:06:10,382 --> 00:06:12,517
Peter, it sounds to me
like alcohol
147
00:06:12,584 --> 00:06:15,453
is a very destructive
influence in your life.
148
00:06:15,521 --> 00:06:17,188
You need to relinquish
your dependence
149
00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:19,991
and give yourself over
to a higher power.
150
00:06:20,058 --> 00:06:22,627
You have a
different view, Brian?
151
00:06:22,694 --> 00:06:23,928
Oh, I-I don't know.
Are we...
152
00:06:23,996 --> 00:06:25,530
are we allowed to have
a different view?
153
00:06:25,597 --> 00:06:28,966
Brian, AA is the only way out
for these people.
154
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:32,069
Millions are saved every year
by the program.
155
00:06:32,137 --> 00:06:33,504
Hey, people got along just fine
156
00:06:33,572 --> 00:06:35,506
for thousands of years
without AA.
157
00:06:35,574 --> 00:06:36,874
Just like they got along
158
00:06:36,942 --> 00:06:38,676
for thousands of years
without religion.
159
00:06:38,744 --> 00:06:40,945
I like you and have
no reason not to.
160
00:06:41,013 --> 00:06:42,947
I like you and have
no reason not to.
161
00:06:43,015 --> 00:06:44,949
Hey, did you hear
about that magic baby
162
00:06:45,017 --> 00:06:46,117
that was born
in Bethlehem?
163
00:06:54,259 --> 00:06:55,560
Oh, there you boys are.
164
00:06:55,627 --> 00:06:56,961
How was your meeting?
165
00:06:57,029 --> 00:06:59,197
29 more and we're done--
that's how it was.
166
00:06:59,264 --> 00:07:01,165
That doesn't sound like
the right attitude.
167
00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:03,100
Lois, you weren't there.
It was awful.
168
00:07:03,168 --> 00:07:05,636
Just a bunch of losers
telling boring stories.
169
00:07:05,704 --> 00:07:07,471
"My drinking
ruined my marriage."
170
00:07:07,539 --> 00:07:09,507
"My drinking ruined
my family."
171
00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:12,577
My drinking
ruined my TV show, 24."
172
00:07:12,644 --> 00:07:14,846
I see you got your own thing
going on this week,
173
00:07:14,913 --> 00:07:16,314
but there's a new teacher
at preschool
174
00:07:16,381 --> 00:07:18,616
who deactivates the camera
and then hits us.
175
00:07:18,684 --> 00:07:20,885
Brian, AA's been around
for years.
176
00:07:20,953 --> 00:07:23,387
It's helped a lot of people
get over their addiction.
177
00:07:23,455 --> 00:07:24,822
No, it hasn't.
178
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,324
They've just traded
one addiction for another.
179
00:07:26,391 --> 00:07:27,992
Their life goes
from being all about drinking
180
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:29,260
to being all about AA.
181
00:07:29,328 --> 00:07:30,795
The only difference is,
182
00:07:30,863 --> 00:07:32,563
when it's all about drinking,
they're more fun.
183
00:07:32,631 --> 00:07:33,764
Well, like
it or not,
184
00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:36,868
you got to stick it
out for 30 days.
185
00:07:36,935 --> 00:07:38,102
You know what sucks, Brian?
186
00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,937
We don't got a problem
with our drinking.
187
00:07:40,005 --> 00:07:42,139
It's everybody else who's got
a problem with our drinking.
188
00:07:42,207 --> 00:07:44,175
Wait a minute.
Peter, that's it.
189
00:07:44,243 --> 00:07:46,410
The issue isn't that these
people are alcoholics.
190
00:07:46,478 --> 00:07:49,313
They just have nowhere to
drink without being judged.
191
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,048
She slams us
into the monkey bars,
192
00:07:51,116 --> 00:07:53,885
but none of us have the language
skills to call her on it.
193
00:07:57,155 --> 00:07:58,990
And then this one time,
I was so drunk,
194
00:07:59,057 --> 00:08:00,825
I gave someone
a back adjustment.
195
00:08:00,893 --> 00:08:02,193
I'm not a chiropractor.
196
00:08:02,261 --> 00:08:04,228
You got to go to a weekend
of school for that.
197
00:08:04,296 --> 00:08:05,663
Hey, hey.
198
00:08:05,731 --> 00:08:07,999
Anyone in the house
addicted to alcohol?
199
00:08:08,066 --> 00:08:09,367
Hi.
Hello, Peter.
200
00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:10,735
I enjoy alcohol.
201
00:08:10,802 --> 00:08:12,603
I can't hear you.
202
00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:15,006
Me. Hello.
I have a very serious problem.
203
00:08:15,073 --> 00:08:18,276
Mr. Griffin, alcohol
is forbidden at our meetings.
204
00:08:18,343 --> 00:08:19,710
Look, j-just hear me out.
205
00:08:19,778 --> 00:08:22,079
I sat here and listened
to you bums the other day,
206
00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:24,815
and I got to tell you,
I have never seen a duller bunch
207
00:08:24,883 --> 00:08:26,217
of pathetic bastards in my life.
208
00:08:26,285 --> 00:08:27,985
I don't know who you were
when you were drinking,
209
00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:29,520
but it sure as hell's
got to be better
210
00:08:29,588 --> 00:08:30,554
than who you are
when you're sober.
211
00:08:30,622 --> 00:08:31,856
Yeah, you all stopped drinking
212
00:08:31,924 --> 00:08:33,491
because you were hurting
your loved ones.
213
00:08:33,558 --> 00:08:35,993
But you can't hurt them
if they don't know you're drunk.
214
00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:38,496
Let's make this our sanctuary.
215
00:08:40,098 --> 00:08:42,133
I wants me that beer.
216
00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,874
MAN
Attention, patrol cars,
217
00:08:49,942 --> 00:08:52,610
we've got a noise complaint
at the Quahog Community Center.
218
00:08:52,678 --> 00:08:54,278
Is anyone in the area?
219
00:08:54,346 --> 00:08:56,514
Wait a minute. That's where
Peter's AA meeting is.
220
00:09:02,254 --> 00:09:03,888
So I clicked
on it, and the...
221
00:09:03,956 --> 00:09:06,290
the girl's got
a bigger wang than I got.
222
00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:07,391
No way.
223
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:08,592
No way, right?
224
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,795
So I did... so I just put
my thumb over it,
225
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:13,564
and then... and that got me
through the rest of...
226
00:09:13,632 --> 00:09:16,467
of the... of the session.
227
00:09:21,707 --> 00:09:24,675
Oh, no.
There's a policeman coming.
228
00:09:26,044 --> 00:09:27,645
All right, everybody,
you know what to do.
229
00:09:27,713 --> 00:09:30,648
Alcoholics, transform.
230
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,894
All right, what the hell's
going on in here?
231
00:09:43,962 --> 00:09:46,931
We got a noise complaint. Joe, shh.
Peter's about to start.
232
00:09:46,999 --> 00:09:50,368
We are gathered here again
tonight, fellow AA members,
233
00:09:50,435 --> 00:09:52,103
to talk about
the greatest temptation
234
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,404
the Devil ever created--
235
00:09:53,472 --> 00:09:54,805
alcohol.
236
00:09:55,974 --> 00:09:58,275
♪ Mr. Booze ♪
237
00:09:58,343 --> 00:10:00,044
♪ Mr. Booze ♪
238
00:10:00,112 --> 00:10:02,279
♪ Mr. Booze ♪
239
00:10:02,347 --> 00:10:06,584
♪ Mr. B-double-O-Z-E ♪
240
00:10:06,651 --> 00:10:11,155
♪ That sure spells booze ♪
241
00:10:11,223 --> 00:10:13,958
♪ You will wind up wearing
tattered shoes ♪
242
00:10:14,026 --> 00:10:16,527
♪ If you mess with Mr. Booze ♪
243
00:10:16,595 --> 00:10:18,796
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
244
00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:22,666
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
245
00:10:22,734 --> 00:10:24,568
♪ Don't mess with
B-double-O-Z-E ♪
246
00:10:24,636 --> 00:10:28,072
♪ If you've been so stiff
they thought you died ♪
247
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:31,575
♪ You'll feel better
once you've testified ♪
248
00:10:31,643 --> 00:10:34,078
♪ Testify ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
249
00:10:34,146 --> 00:10:36,480
♪ Testify ♪
I want to testify.
I want to testify.
250
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:39,083
Well, then, cleanse yourself,
my son. Cleanse yourself.
251
00:10:39,151 --> 00:10:41,285
One time, I took
a "liberry" book out,
252
00:10:41,353 --> 00:10:44,155
and I fells asleep reading it,
and I left it under the bed.
253
00:10:44,222 --> 00:10:46,757
I forgot about it
for three and a half years.
254
00:10:46,825 --> 00:10:49,326
I was going to take it back
on Amnesty Day,
255
00:10:49,394 --> 00:10:51,729
but on Amnesty Day,
I had a sip of rosé wine,
256
00:10:51,797 --> 00:10:53,998
and I never made it
out of the house.
257
00:10:54,066 --> 00:10:55,866
♪ Who's to blame? ♪
♪ Who's to blame? ♪
258
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:57,468
♪ What's his name? ♪
♪ We know his name ♪
259
00:10:57,536 --> 00:10:59,737
♪ His name is Mr. Booze ♪
260
00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:01,172
♪ Mr. Booze ♪
261
00:11:01,239 --> 00:11:04,608
♪ Mr. B-double-O-Z-E,
don't ever choose ♪
262
00:11:04,676 --> 00:11:08,079
♪ Any game you play
with him you lose ♪
263
00:11:08,146 --> 00:11:10,981
♪ So don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
264
00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:15,453
♪ If your head feels
like it's two miles wide ♪
♪ Two miles wide ♪
265
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:19,824
♪ You'll feel better
once you've testified ♪
♪ Testify ♪
266
00:11:19,891 --> 00:11:21,725
♪ Oh, yes ♪
♪ Testify ♪
267
00:11:21,793 --> 00:11:23,894
I want to testify.
I want to testify.
268
00:11:23,962 --> 00:11:26,230
Well, come forward,
dear brother, and testify.
269
00:11:26,298 --> 00:11:27,898
I used to be a
soda pop guy.
270
00:11:27,966 --> 00:11:29,366
Then I switched
to the bottle.
271
00:11:29,434 --> 00:11:30,668
Now I don't
leave my couch,
272
00:11:30,735 --> 00:11:31,969
and I've seen
every movie ever.
273
00:11:32,037 --> 00:11:33,604
You name a movie,
I've seen it.
274
00:11:33,672 --> 00:11:35,106
Meet Dave.
Seen it.
275
00:11:35,173 --> 00:11:36,674
The Eiger Sanction.
Seen it.
276
00:11:36,741 --> 00:11:38,275
Donovan's Reef.
Seen it.
277
00:11:38,343 --> 00:11:40,644
License to Drive.
Definitely seen it.
278
00:11:40,712 --> 00:11:42,480
♪ That's a shame ♪
♪ What a shame ♪
279
00:11:42,547 --> 00:11:43,981
♪ Who's to blame? ♪
♪ For Corey Haim? ♪
280
00:11:44,049 --> 00:11:47,785
♪ His name is Mr. Booze,
Mr. Booze ♪
281
00:11:47,853 --> 00:11:51,021
♪ Mr. B-double-O-Z-E,
you must refuse ♪
282
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:54,225
♪ You'll make
the obituary news ♪
283
00:11:54,292 --> 00:11:58,129
♪ If you mess with Mr. Booze ♪
284
00:11:58,196 --> 00:12:01,599
♪ If you've been so stiff
they thought you died ♪
285
00:12:01,666 --> 00:12:04,935
♪ You'll feel better
once you've testified ♪
286
00:12:05,003 --> 00:12:07,571
♪ Testify, testify ♪
287
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,640
This man wants
to testify.
288
00:12:09,708 --> 00:12:10,875
Very well, my brother.
289
00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:12,877
Let us lead him on the path
of righteousness.
290
00:12:12,944 --> 00:12:14,311
This poor gentleman
used to speak
291
00:12:14,379 --> 00:12:15,513
in long,
eloquent sentences,
292
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,014
but after years
of drinking,
293
00:12:17,082 --> 00:12:19,049
he can only speak
in short, choppy utterances.
294
00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:20,684
Why, at one time,
if you asked him
295
00:12:20,752 --> 00:12:21,986
who his favorite
musicians were,
296
00:12:22,053 --> 00:12:24,688
he'd say Leonard Bernstein,
Johann Sebastian Bach
297
00:12:24,756 --> 00:12:26,357
and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
298
00:12:26,424 --> 00:12:29,093
But thanks to that old devil
hooch, it's all changed.
299
00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:30,161
Who's your favorite
musician, Ollie?
300
00:12:30,228 --> 00:12:31,295
Cher!
301
00:12:31,363 --> 00:12:32,763
He doesn't even
like Cher.
302
00:12:32,831 --> 00:12:34,665
♪ Now, alcohol makes
a big man small ♪
303
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:36,367
♪ And can lead
to a life of crime ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
304
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:37,835
♪ Demon rum makes
a gent a bum ♪
305
00:12:37,903 --> 00:12:39,537
♪ And you cash in
before your time ♪
306
00:12:39,604 --> 00:12:41,305
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Bootleg gin
puts you in a spin ♪
307
00:12:41,373 --> 00:12:42,840
♪ Till you don't even
know your name ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
308
00:12:42,908 --> 00:12:44,508
♪ You're a basket case
flat on your face ♪
309
00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:45,943
♪ And there's only one guy
to blame ♪
310
00:12:46,011 --> 00:12:46,977
♪ Mr. B-double-O-Z-E ♪
311
00:12:47,045 --> 00:12:49,680
♪ Mr. Booze, Mr. Booze ♪
312
00:12:49,748 --> 00:12:53,117
♪ Mr. B-double-O-Z-E,
don't ever choose ♪
313
00:12:53,185 --> 00:12:55,953
♪ You will wind up wearing
tattered shoes ♪
314
00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:58,522
♪ If you mess with Mr. Booze ♪
315
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,691
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
316
00:13:00,759 --> 00:13:02,026
♪ Oh, Mr. Booze ♪
317
00:13:02,093 --> 00:13:04,028
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
318
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:05,262
♪ Oh, Mr. Booze ♪
319
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:08,632
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
320
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,402
♪ Don't mess
with B-double-O-Z-E ♪
321
00:13:11,469 --> 00:13:14,071
♪ 'Cause that spells booze ♪
322
00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:18,876
♪ And you gotta lose
with Mr. Booze ♪
323
00:13:18,944 --> 00:13:21,111
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
324
00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:25,382
♪ Don't mess around
with Mr. Booze ♪
325
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:27,885
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
326
00:13:27,953 --> 00:13:31,222
♪ That's what he said, now ♪
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
327
00:13:31,289 --> 00:13:36,961
♪ Oh, Mr. Booze ♪
♪ Don't mess with Mr. Booze ♪
328
00:13:37,028 --> 00:13:41,065
♪ Don't you mess with Mr. Booze,
don't mess with Mr. ♪
329
00:13:41,132 --> 00:13:43,033
♪ Don't you mess with Mr.,
oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
330
00:13:43,101 --> 00:13:44,735
♪ Don't mess with, ah-ah ♪
331
00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:47,137
♪ Oh, Mr. Booze ♪
332
00:13:47,205 --> 00:13:50,407
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah,
oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
333
00:13:50,475 --> 00:13:52,776
♪ Yeah! ♪
334
00:13:52,844 --> 00:13:54,678
Wow, you guys.
I'm impressed
335
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:56,847
that you're taking your
sentence so seriously.
336
00:13:56,915 --> 00:14:00,017
And I know that the court
will be happy to hear this, too.
337
00:14:00,085 --> 00:14:02,186
Now, if you'll just keep it down
338
00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:03,887
so I don't get
any more complaints.
339
00:14:03,955 --> 00:14:05,122
Sure. No problem, Joe.
340
00:14:05,190 --> 00:14:06,690
Thanks for stopping by.
341
00:14:08,526 --> 00:14:11,562
Yay!
342
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:17,134
So what do you say, guys?
343
00:14:17,202 --> 00:14:18,569
Should we take this party
to Denny's
344
00:14:18,637 --> 00:14:20,271
and hang out with the cast
of the high school play?
345
00:14:20,338 --> 00:14:22,439
Nah. I think I'm...
I'm just going to go home.
346
00:14:22,507 --> 00:14:23,841
All right.
You okay to drive?
347
00:14:23,908 --> 00:14:25,242
Oh, yeah, I'll be fine.
348
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:27,044
I-I'll crank the heat,
roll up the windows
349
00:14:27,112 --> 00:14:28,712
and blast the Lullaby Channel.
I'll be fine.
350
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:29,913
All right, take it easy.
351
00:14:29,981 --> 00:14:31,448
All right, you, too.
Get out of here.
352
00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:32,850
Hey! Like your jeans.
353
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:34,118
Thanks. What...
hey, what size are you?
354
00:14:34,185 --> 00:14:35,853
Yeah, I don't think
we're the same size.
355
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,321
Yeah, we'll figure
it out tomorrow.
356
00:14:37,389 --> 00:14:38,922
Come on, Brian.
You ready to go home?
357
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,624
Uh, no, Peter.
358
00:14:40,692 --> 00:14:42,693
I'm going to... I'm going to...
going to meet Jenny's cats.
359
00:14:42,761 --> 00:14:44,428
What are you talking about?
You hate cats.
360
00:14:44,496 --> 00:14:46,930
I'm going... to meet...
her cats.
361
00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:48,399
Geez. All right.
Okay. All right.
362
00:14:48,466 --> 00:14:50,134
You don't have
to get all c-c-cat...
363
00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:52,069
Hey, hey, cat dog, right?
364
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,737
You're a cat dog.
365
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,239
♪ Hey, cat dog ♪
366
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:57,041
♪ Cat dog ♪
367
00:14:57,108 --> 00:14:59,009
♪ Cat dog. ♪
368
00:14:59,077 --> 00:15:00,377
Hey, where's...
you know,
369
00:15:00,445 --> 00:15:02,579
where's all the poop go
when the cat...
370
00:15:02,647 --> 00:15:04,214
when the...
in a... in a cat dog...?
371
00:15:04,282 --> 00:15:05,549
When the cat poops...
372
00:15:05,617 --> 00:15:07,484
what, does it come out
of the dog's mouth?
373
00:15:07,552 --> 00:15:09,353
And... and vice versa?
374
00:15:09,421 --> 00:15:10,954
Oh, God.
375
00:15:11,022 --> 00:15:13,791
Oh, that's... that's
some kind of living hell.
376
00:15:13,858 --> 00:15:15,659
That's some...
377
00:15:15,727 --> 00:15:18,329
that's some kind
of living hell, Brian.
378
00:15:18,396 --> 00:15:19,563
Okay, I got to go.
379
00:15:19,631 --> 00:15:21,265
You... you have
a good time with Jenny.
380
00:15:35,046 --> 00:15:37,414
Geez. Cat dog.
381
00:15:37,482 --> 00:15:38,916
What-what if... what if they...
382
00:15:38,983 --> 00:15:40,818
what if they want
to marry different people?
383
00:15:40,885 --> 00:15:42,853
You got a lawsuit on your hands.
384
00:15:42,921 --> 00:15:44,688
That's what...
that's what happens.
385
00:15:44,756 --> 00:15:46,090
All right... all right, look,
386
00:15:46,157 --> 00:15:47,925
let's get some music
going on in here.
387
00:15:47,992 --> 00:15:49,360
Where's the Lullaby Channel?
388
00:15:50,929 --> 00:15:53,797
♪ A gentle breeze ♪
389
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:57,668
♪ From Hushabye Mountain ♪
390
00:15:57,736 --> 00:16:01,271
♪ Softly blows ♪
391
00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:05,075
♪ For Lullaby Bay. ♪
392
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:14,051
Please be
Rosie O'Donnell.
393
00:16:14,119 --> 00:16:17,254
Please be Rosie O'Donnell.
Please be Rosie O'Donnell.
394
00:16:18,656 --> 00:16:20,424
Wait. Is it?
395
00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:23,534
Hey.
396
00:16:23,597 --> 00:16:25,564
Hey, fatty,
wake up.
397
00:16:30,103 --> 00:16:32,037
What... what the...
what happened?
398
00:16:32,105 --> 00:16:33,606
You're dead, jackass.
399
00:16:33,673 --> 00:16:35,774
You died in a drunk
driving accident.
400
00:16:35,842 --> 00:16:38,277
Oh, God. Did I hold on
to the touchdown pass?
401
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,479
What the...?
What's wrong with you?
402
00:16:40,547 --> 00:16:41,580
You know what?
403
00:16:41,648 --> 00:16:43,215
I was so drunk,
my ghost is drunk.
404
00:16:43,283 --> 00:16:45,517
Look, I've been told
I can give you another chance,
405
00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:47,486
but there's some things
we have to do first.
406
00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:48,721
What are you
talking about?
407
00:16:48,788 --> 00:16:50,923
I'm talking about you
understanding alcohol
408
00:16:50,991 --> 00:16:52,558
just a little bit better.
409
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:55,194
Peter, I'm going to show you
where your life is headed
410
00:16:55,262 --> 00:16:57,663
if you keep drinking
as much as you do.
411
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,305
All right, Peter.
Here we are.
412
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,606
Well, everything
looks fine.
413
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:13,045
All right, family.
Line up for cigar burns.
414
00:17:14,581 --> 00:17:15,514
Ah!
415
00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:18,317
Oh!
416
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,286
Yow!
417
00:17:20,353 --> 00:17:21,754
Ah!
418
00:17:21,821 --> 00:17:23,656
Ah!
419
00:17:23,723 --> 00:17:25,357
Wait a minute.
Who are you?
420
00:17:25,425 --> 00:17:27,226
I'm your other son, MacCawber.
421
00:17:27,294 --> 00:17:29,395
Here for my cigar burn,
good sir.
422
00:17:29,462 --> 00:17:31,397
Stewie, go on,
get out of here,
423
00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:33,098
you stupid "laugh and cry,
effin' cry."
424
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:34,099
What's the difference?
425
00:17:38,305 --> 00:17:39,538
What's this?
426
00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:41,273
This is the bathroom
at my work.
427
00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:42,341
That's right.
428
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,942
And there you are
in the stall
429
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,344
with your boss, Angela.
What?!
430
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:47,413
Oh, my God, Angela.
431
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,982
That was... that was...
that felt so good.
432
00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:52,551
All I want to do is
please you, Griffin.
433
00:17:52,619 --> 00:17:54,720
Well that... that was
a good idea you had
434
00:17:54,788 --> 00:17:56,889
dunking your hand
in the toilet.
435
00:17:56,956 --> 00:17:58,791
Oh, my God! I wouldn't
have sex with Angela!
436
00:17:58,858 --> 00:18:00,092
She's disgusting!
437
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,627
Not when you're drunk,
she's not.
438
00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:02,895
All right, Death,
I get it.
439
00:18:02,962 --> 00:18:04,330
I wish I'd never
touched a drop
440
00:18:04,397 --> 00:18:05,597
of alcohol in my life.
441
00:18:05,665 --> 00:18:06,965
Never touched
a drop, huh?
442
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:08,233
Well, guess what.
443
00:18:08,301 --> 00:18:09,768
I'm going to show you
that, too.
444
00:18:13,406 --> 00:18:14,973
Okay, get ready for this.
445
00:18:15,041 --> 00:18:17,209
Hey, hey, hey, gang!
446
00:18:17,277 --> 00:18:19,044
Everybody line up
for a triple "H":
447
00:18:19,112 --> 00:18:23,315
a hug, a handshake
or a high five. Your call.
448
00:18:23,383 --> 00:18:26,285
Lois, hug--
you got it.
449
00:18:26,353 --> 00:18:28,554
Stewie, hug--
two in a row.
450
00:18:28,621 --> 00:18:30,289
Try for three, Chris?
451
00:18:30,357 --> 00:18:32,024
Oh, no, high five.
452
00:18:32,092 --> 00:18:34,793
Well, that's okay.
High five's great, too.
453
00:18:34,861 --> 00:18:36,795
Meg, back to the hug.
All right.
454
00:18:36,863 --> 00:18:38,397
Hugs may win it today.
455
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,366
And we close
with a handshake.
456
00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:43,669
And all in time for my big
bike ride announcement.
457
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:45,637
Who the
is this jerk?
458
00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:48,374
That's you, Peter,
alcohol-free.
459
00:18:53,847 --> 00:18:55,347
Ooh.
460
00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:56,582
Hey, look, there's
Joe and Quagmire.
461
00:18:56,649 --> 00:18:57,950
Hey, let's have a
drink with them.
462
00:18:58,017 --> 00:18:59,418
You've never touched
a drop, Peter.
463
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,153
You don't even know
those guys.
464
00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:03,455
Those are your
friends over there.
465
00:19:03,523 --> 00:19:05,357
Hey, do you guys mind
keeping it down?
466
00:19:05,425 --> 00:19:07,459
We're trying to have
a conversation here.
467
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:10,229
Some people. Gee whiz.
468
00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:12,931
Those are your friends,
Phillip, Ernest and Jonathan.
469
00:19:12,999 --> 00:19:15,134
Do I at least
call him Jon?
470
00:19:15,201 --> 00:19:16,735
No, he prefers
Jonathan.
471
00:19:16,803 --> 00:19:18,937
Aw, one of those guys?
472
00:19:19,005 --> 00:19:20,606
You know, I have started taking
473
00:19:20,673 --> 00:19:22,441
a Bufferin baby aspirin
every day.
474
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,843
It's improved my heart
one heck of a heap,
475
00:19:24,911 --> 00:19:26,512
I'll tell you that,
pardon my French.
476
00:19:26,579 --> 00:19:28,347
This is even worse
than the other one.
477
00:19:28,415 --> 00:19:29,915
I mean, it's cool
I know French,
478
00:19:29,983 --> 00:19:31,016
but, Death,
this ain't me.
479
00:19:31,084 --> 00:19:32,317
What am I
supposed to do?
480
00:19:32,385 --> 00:19:34,086
If I'm a drunk,
I'm a jerk,
481
00:19:34,154 --> 00:19:35,587
and if I'm sober,
I'm a douche.
482
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:36,688
Exactly, Peter.
483
00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,023
It's called moderation.
484
00:19:38,091 --> 00:19:40,926
You don't have to give up
the booze cold turkey.
485
00:19:40,994 --> 00:19:42,761
You just have to be
responsible with it.
486
00:19:42,829 --> 00:19:44,530
You members of the human race
487
00:19:44,597 --> 00:19:46,799
have the ability
to send a man to the moon
488
00:19:46,866 --> 00:19:49,268
and make Justin Long
a movie star.
489
00:19:49,335 --> 00:19:51,804
With that kind of willpower,
don't you think you can learn
490
00:19:51,871 --> 00:19:54,373
to put the bottle down
just sometimes?
491
00:19:54,441 --> 00:19:56,809
We did it with Justin Long,
didn't we?
492
00:19:56,876 --> 00:19:58,844
America said no,
but we kept at it.
493
00:19:58,912 --> 00:20:00,279
All right, Death.
494
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:01,480
I'll try.
495
00:20:14,527 --> 00:20:15,861
Well, we're home.
496
00:20:15,929 --> 00:20:18,897
30 days of sobriety,
and we can finally drink again.
497
00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:20,332
Oh, for God's sake, Peter,
498
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,134
didn't you learn
anything from this?
499
00:20:22,202 --> 00:20:24,069
Yes, I did, Lois.
500
00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:26,071
These are going
in the garbage.
501
00:20:26,139 --> 00:20:28,474
But these...
I'm keeping for myself.
502
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,142
Moderation, Lois.
503
00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:31,410
Wow, Peter.
504
00:20:31,478 --> 00:20:33,078
I never thought
I'd see the day.
505
00:20:33,146 --> 00:20:34,713
Good for you.
506
00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:36,548
From now on, half
of every six-pack I buy
507
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:38,484
is going in the trash.
508
00:20:43,456 --> 00:20:45,457
Hey, how... how come
we're the only animals
509
00:20:45,525 --> 00:20:47,526
with poo that's white?
510
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,361
I know.
What the hell?
511
00:20:49,429 --> 00:20:51,797
Right? We're not... we're
not eating white stuff.
512
00:20:51,865 --> 00:20:53,465
Hey, you want
something good?
513
00:20:53,533 --> 00:20:56,535
Just look for the containers
that say "KFC" on them.
514
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,470
There's always
something good in there.
515
00:20:58,538 --> 00:21:00,005
Dude, that's
birds in there.
516
00:21:00,073 --> 00:21:02,107
You're eat... you're
eating another bird.
517
00:21:02,175 --> 00:21:04,042
What?
That's bird meat, dude.
518
00:21:04,110 --> 00:21:05,677
Wh-what? No.
519
00:21:05,745 --> 00:21:06,812
You're eating a bird.
520
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,081
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
521
00:21:12,715 --> 00:21:16,317
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==