1
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,929
Thanks for encouraging us
to come to Gay Pride Day, Brian.
2
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,180
Yeah, this seems
like it'll be fun.
3
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,307
Real fun, not "entertain
your wife's parents
4
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,268
while your wife
is at work" fun.
5
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,187
Laura gets home at 7:00,
so I figure we can stare
6
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,398
at our wine glasses
till then.
7
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,404
So, uh... so, when...
8
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,156
when do you guys think
you're gonna die?
9
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,077
Wow, a parade.
10
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,579
It's like I'm walking
past stuff,
11
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,080
but I'm not going anywhere.
12
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,333
Look, there's the float
commemorating sham marriages.
13
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,919
Sorry, this stomach thing
is acting up again tonight.
14
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:29,214
Oh, and I'm going on a business
trip to Mykonos for July.
15
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:33,093
And it says this next one is
the "Shocking Reveal Gay Float."
16
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,095
(gasps)
17
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,932
I had no idea.
18
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,225
Hey, check it out.
19
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,310
There's an air show.
20
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,440
Oh, my God--
they're gonna crash!
21
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,233
No, no, don't worry--
it's a gay air show.
22
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,110
They're just gonna
lightly touch tips.
23
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,113
CROWD:
Aw!
24
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,240
Well, listen up, everybody,
'cause it's time
25
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,242
for our grand prize drawing
for those tickets
26
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,911
to see Celine Dion live
in Las Vegas!
27
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,788
DEEP VOICE (over speaker):
Infertility!
28
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:02,914
Here we go!
29
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,750
Our grand prize winner is...
30
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,668
Brian Griffin.
31
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,421
(all clamoring)
32
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:10,672
Wow, I don't believe it!
33
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,174
Hey, congratulations, buddy.
34
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:16,178
The only thing I ever won
was an extra day of summer.
35
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,264
Okay, Peter--
one more day.
36
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,308
Yaw.!
37
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,311
I saw what I look like
in a car window,
38
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,188
and now I don't want to go.
39
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,443
ANNOUNCER: We now return
to Franklin and Bash
40
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,320
with Indicators to Show
which one is Franklin
41
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,155
and which one is Bash.
42
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,949
Defensive blows to their heads
were to send a message...
43
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,076
MAN:
Oh, sorry, sorry.
44
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,328
"Help me get
into used car sales."
45
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,455
Hey, Stewie, I don't know if
you have any interest in this,
46
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,207
but I was wondering if you
want to go to Vegas with me
47
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,458
and see Celine Dion.
48
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,335
Are you kidding?
Of course I want to go!
49
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,961
Wow, these are good seats!
50
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,673
I know, apparently they were
donated by Goldman's Pharmacy.
51
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,092
Turns out Mort's cousin
is Celine's opening act.
52
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,468
Really? What's his talent?
53
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,804
I understand he's a
magician of sorts.
54
00:02:58,804 --> 00:02:59,971
All right, for this next trick,
55
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,974
I need a quarter
from the audience.
56
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,185
Okay, thank you.
57
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,186
(rapid footsteps departing)
58
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,479
(door opens, closes)
59
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,480
(car engine revs)
60
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,191
(tires screech)
61
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,612
You almost ready, Stewie?
62
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,197
We should probably start
heading to the airport.
63
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,865
Yes, I was gonna talk to
you about that, actually.
64
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,367
Last night, I was
thinking to myself,
65
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,619
"Why fly, when we can
get there instantly?"
66
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,870
What? What do you mean?
67
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,872
Well, you see, I recently
completed construction
68
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,125
on a teleportation device,
and it occurred to me,
69
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,585
this may be the perfect
chance to try it out.
70
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:37,092
Wow, Stewie,
that's incredible!
71
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,844
Oh, hey, guys.
72
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,221
Peter, what do
you have there?
73
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,224
Give me the scissors.
74
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,393
I was just gonna make
some masks!
75
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,519
Use your scissors.
76
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,020
They're not sharp!
77
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,272
(whines)
78
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,523
So, what do you say?
79
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,525
Hmm, teleport to Vegas, huh?
80
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,527
All right, let's do it!
81
00:03:57,529 --> 00:04:00,115
Okay, now, the device is
powered by kinetic energy,
82
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,200
so you've got to dance
to make it work.
83
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,869
You, uh... really?
84
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,747
Yeah , you've
got to dance.
85
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,206
(laughs)
86
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,750
What are you doing,
you tool?
87
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,126
Do you know anything
about science?
88
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,754
You just saw
me program it.
89
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,259
What the hell, Stewie?
It didn't work.
90
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,093
Hmm, that's odd.
91
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,511
It appears there
may still be
92
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,138
a few more bugs
to work out.
93
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,890
Well, it was
worth a try.
94
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,735
Oh, my God, Stewie--
it-it worked!
95
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:37,778
We're in Vegas!
96
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,279
Yeah, all right!
97
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,781
Well, let's hit the
hospital, get checked
98
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:44,284
for teleportation
cancer and then party!
99
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,787
Well, since the teleportation
machine failed to get us
100
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,914
to Vegas, I suppose we should
just catch our plane.
101
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,749
I'll repair it
when we get back.
102
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,293
BOTH STEWIES: You know, this is
going to be a good trip, Brian.
103
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,629
I really feel like fate
is on our side.
104
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,255
Scissors are jerks.
105
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,132
And I'm a owl.
106
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,265
Oh, wow, look at
that, Stewie.
107
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,266
Perfect timing.
108
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:11,311
Everything's just
so beautiful here.
109
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,313
(groans)
This is miserable.
110
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,941
Three-hour delay
and a completely full flight.
111
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,151
Don't look at us,
you (bleep) pig.
112
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,029
Take your Juicy sweatpants
and your dirty pillow from home,
113
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,282
and your bucket of Coke, and
get the hell out of my sight.
114
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,951
What was her problem?
115
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,330
You see that, Brian?
116
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,416
That's going to be our
penises later, right?
117
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,088
Stewie, that teleportation
machine is amazing.
118
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,548
It's so great
that we're already here.
119
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,966
Yep, drink it in, Bri.
120
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,677
Time to enjoy all the
Bellagio has to offer.
121
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,845
Classic architecture.
122
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,971
Beautiful art.
123
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,681
Plus, the air is clean
because they suck up
124
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,600
all the cigarette smoke and
dump it in the bad hotels.
125
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,477
Smell that, kids?
126
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,188
It's been in a rich
person's mouth.
127
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,815
Hi. We're checking in
Griffin?
128
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,191
Ah, yes.
129
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,693
I see you've requested
a bed that's good
130
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,694
for bouncing
and jumping?
131
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,862
That is correct.
132
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,071
I am a businessman.
133
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,239
Just sign here, please.
134
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,366
And you can actually keep
that pen if you'd like.
135
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,868
No way! Really?
136
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:08,994
Wow, you see that, Brian?
137
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,620
Good luck already.
138
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,622
You know, I know we're
switching to a digital world,
139
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,709
but I-l think this little
guy's still got a place in it.
140
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,003
Hey, we should try one of those
slot machines by the entrance.
141
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,213
You know, they always set
those things to pay out more
142
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,007
so they can lure people
into the casino.
143
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,383
Well, that's a great idea.
144
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,725
Oh, my God--
I don't believe it!
145
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,642
Brian, we won!
146
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,144
We won the jackpot!
147
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,604
Oh, this is unbelievable.
148
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:38,523
I haven't had this much fun
since I hosted the Oscars.
149
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,733
Good evening.
150
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,152
I just want to say
that I have the utmost respect
151
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,153
for women everywhere.
152
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,613
And also, the Jews.
153
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,114
Good night.
154
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,916
Oh, thank God,
we're finally here.
155
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,792
That plane ride took forever.
156
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:01,254
Kind of weird they showed
Flight 93 on Flight 93.
157
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,757
Hi. We're checking in
Griffin?
158
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,134
Hmm, I do have a Griffin
here, but that room
159
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,928
was checked into hours ago.
What?
160
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,263
Yes, and I'm afraid we have
no other rooms available.
161
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,182
I see-- is there
a less heavy person
162
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,642
that could check again for me?
163
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,060
I'm sorry, we're
all booked up
164
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,645
because the Slut
Convention's in town.
165
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,438
Slut Convention?
Yeah.
166
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,190
They were promised a
single millionaire,
167
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,192
but it's really just a
bunch of horny squirrels
168
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,652
in a rich-guy suit.
169
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:24,569
(squirrels chittering)
So...
170
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,155
you made your money
in business?
171
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,700
Where's your
room, handsome?
172
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,286
(women screaming)
173
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,829
Can I at least have that pen?
174
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,289
No, that's
Bellagio property.
175
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,457
Aw.
176
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,209
Well, this sucks.
Hey, I'm gonna go try one
177
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,919
of those slot machines
by the entrance.
178
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,712
They always set
those things to pay out more
179
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,673
so they can lure people
into the casino.
180
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,681
(grunts)
Damn it, Vegas!
181
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,684
Excuse me, where can I find
some smoking Asians?
182
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,602
Oh, everywhere? Okay.
183
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:07,237
♪ Luck be a lady tonight
184
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,952
♪ Luck be a lady tonight
185
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,999
♪ Luck if you've ever been
186
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,876
♪ A lady to begin with
187
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:26,172
♪ Luck be a lady tonight
188
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,304
♪ Luck let
189
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:38,560
♪ A gentleman see
190
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,271
♪ How nice a dame you can be
191
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,651
(both laughing)
192
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,198
Oh, my God, this
place is a dump.
193
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,533
Well, let's not be
so quick to judge.
194
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,702
It says here there's
a continental breakfast.
195
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,829
Oh, the continent is Africa.
196
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,205
Stewie, this place
is a complete pit.
197
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,207
I mean, doesn't it seem
weird to you that we have
198
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,084
to re-check-in
every 20 minutes?
199
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,921
Also the porn is free, but we
have to watch it in the lobby.
200
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,219
Okay, let's see if we can
turn this trip around.
201
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,554
I'm gonna try some blackjack.
202
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,597
Here, take $40.
203
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:16,848
I'm gonna go get
some ice cream.
204
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,600
All right, I'll
catch up with you.
205
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,435
Hey there...
206
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,728
Denise.
207
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,605
How you doing today?
I don't know.
208
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:26,232
I usually have to check
with my boyfriend first.
209
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,192
Oh.
210
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,110
Uh... hit, please.
211
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,571
24? Crap!
212
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,865
Do you know what it's
like to go to the doctor
213
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,742
and see your own foot
in the garbage can?
214
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,244
Okay, you have a good night.
215
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,246
Hey, Stewie, I need
some more money.
216
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,873
I lost it all, Brian!
217
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:42,749
What?
218
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,876
Well, I was on my way
to get ice cream
219
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:48,088
and I passed a roulette table,
and I put it all on 16
220
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,256
because of that
Taylor Swift song, "Sixteen."
221
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,382
That song is
called "Fifteen."
222
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,717
It came up 15!
223
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,761
Stewie, that was all
the money I brought.
224
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,763
I knew I should've brought
Peter instead of you.
225
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,264
Oh, come on, you would've
done much worse with him.
226
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,266
He's got a terrible tell.
227
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,727
(gasps)
228
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,854
("Stars and Stripes Forever"
playing)
229
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,281
Any cards, Peter?
230
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,491
No, I'm good.
231
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,412
Oh, this is gonna be great.
232
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,164
I hear she puts on
an amazing show.
233
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,291
She does, you'll be
amazed that that voice
234
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,043
comes out of that face.
235
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,297
Oh, thank God,
we made it in time.
236
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,632
I didn't realize how far
237
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,300
that awful hotel is
from the Strip.
238
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,053
The woman who cleaned
our room had no ears.
239
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,180
(beeping)
240
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,807
I'm sorry,
these tickets are invalid.
241
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,142
What?
242
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,434
It's showing that they've
already been scanned.
243
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,686
I can't let you in.
244
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,813
Oh, this trip has
been a disaster.
245
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,190
I know. I actually thought
I was gonna win big
246
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,192
and get that plastic surgery
I always wanted.
247
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,569
Oh, my God!
248
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:53,945
Look at him.
249
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,823
He's so cute.
250
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,451
I'm small,
so this is okay.
251
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,291
(sighs)
You know what, screw it.
252
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,459
I say we just cut our
losses and fly home.
253
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,837
Yeah, I'm not so sure
about that.
254
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,088
What? Why?
255
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,048
Well, I may have...
256
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,967
And-and you are gonna
laugh about this,
257
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,677
if I know your dark
sense of humor,
258
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:21,097
but I may have gambled away
our plane tickets.
259
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,849
You what? How do
you even do that?
260
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,226
It's Vegas, Brian.
You can gamble anything.
261
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:29,063
I'd like to bet
my daughter's virginity on 23.
262
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,565
(ball falls)
263
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,192
I'm sorry, it's 31.
264
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,193
Cw!
265
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,861
How's it going here?
266
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,863
Not great.
I know what you mean.
267
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,240
We just took a pounding
at the craps table.
268
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,367
Look, why don't we just
call Lois and the fat man?
269
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,327
Maybe they can help us.
270
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,578
I don't know about that.
271
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,330
You know that
500 bucks we lost?
272
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,875
I sort of took that from
Lois without asking.
273
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,002
If she finds out it's
all gone, she'll kill me.
274
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,003
Oh.
275
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,130
Did you fellas say you were
in a bit of a fix?
276
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,382
My buddy's got the inside track
on a basketball game.
277
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,884
It's a sure thing.
278
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,886
I like how all your teeth
are different shapes.
279
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,221
Why are you
telling us this?
280
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,597
What do you want from us?
281
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,390
Honestly,
I'm trying to sell my condo,
282
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,726
and I need people to come
to the open house
283
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,228
and talk
about how nice it is.
284
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,522
Wow, the price per square foot
is quite competitive
285
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,149
with similar homes in the area.
286
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,651
Yes, I also love it.
287
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,277
I will likely purchase it
288
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,154
unless others
put in a rival bid.
289
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,405
Well, what's stopping you?
290
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,157
You know, you've always been
so noncommittal
291
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,283
in our relationship.
292
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,244
Do you know how much
it hurt my feelings
293
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,246
when you paused before
introducing me to your parents?
294
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,915
And it's the same reason you
didn't take that job in Denver.
295
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,875
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to waste your time.
296
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,419
I just remembered my husband
is a total chicken (bleep).
297
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,631
I'm not 100% sure
what we're doing anymore.
298
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,389
It's like I say, the best
thing you can see in Vegas
299
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,057
is bar, bar, bar.
300
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,685
Yeah, and he's not talking
about slot machines.
301
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,270
Ugh!
302
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,272
Stewie, I'm still not sure
this is a great idea.
303
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,565
Relax, Brian; we're betting
on one basketball game.
304
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,942
That's it.
305
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,403
Then we'll be out of debt
and on our way home.
306
00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,445
I suppose.
I just wish
307
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,781
we didn't have to borrow money
from a loan shark.
308
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,157
I mean, that guy seemed
pretty serious.
309
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,326
Okay, and just a couple
of remaining items.
310
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:08,329
Please indicate here
if I look like a schmuck to you.
311
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,789
I'm gonna say "no."
312
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,333
Great. Then please check here
and initial there.
313
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,295
Uh, next, do you think
this is some kind of game?
314
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,838
Urn, no.
315
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,172
Okay, initial, please.
316
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,966
And finally, my date of birth.
317
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,467
Was it yesterday?
318
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,599
ANNOUNCER: Ancl that'll do
it for us here (horn blows)
319
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,977
with Duke losing
by just three points.
320
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,813
We... we lost, Brian.
321
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,606
Oh, crap, we're screwed.
322
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,985
Hey, Stewie, give me
$100 from the backpack.
323
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,611
I want to pay a
Wayne Newton look-alike
324
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,238
to beat up a
Rita Rudner look-alike.
325
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,614
I'll give you $1,000.
326
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,742
Pay him to beat up Rita Rudner.
327
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,745
Stewie, we got to get
the hell out of here
328
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,121
before that loan shark finds us.
329
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,248
Yes, you're right.
330
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,834
I've got a bad feeling, Brian.
331
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,502
I've got a good
feeling, Brian.
332
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,504
I'm gonna get
me that honey.
333
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,347
I say, Brian,
this backpack feels
334
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,015
a bit lighter
than it did before.
335
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,641
Well, I wasn't gonna
tell you till later,
336
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,518
but I actually used
part of my portion
337
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,896
to take care of some
personal business.
338
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,648
All right, fine.
339
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,791
(phone vibrates)
340
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,800
Hey, boss, it's me.
341
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,260
I just spotted those two idiots
who borrowed all that money.
342
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,678
Yeah, well, now they're
strutting around
343
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,263
in flashy suits.
344
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,891
Don't worry; I'll get that
money back no matter what,
345
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,768
and for sure I'm not
gonna stop first
346
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,770
and get some crepes
in the lobby.
347
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,814
Where can I get
some crepes?
348
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,570
Hey, Stewie,
thanks for coming with me.
349
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,072
This really has been
an amazing trip.
350
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,573
Yeah, it's been great.
351
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,075
Um, listen, Brian,
352
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,202
this might be a good
time to tell you, uh,
353
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:14,080
I invited, um, somebody
354
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,706
to come to the room.
355
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,041
Well, what do you mean?
356
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,085
(pounding on door)
Oh, that must be him now.
357
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,214
Okay, come on, you look nothing
like your picture in the ad.
358
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,424
Shut up and give
me the money!
359
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,217
What? What the hell
are you talking about?
360
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,052
Okay, I'm starting to think
you're not Apollo.
361
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,221
You bastards think you can
just borrow a bunch of money
362
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,723
from a loan shark and then
waste it on tacky suits?
363
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,934
Tacky?
Sir, I'll have you know
364
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,978
I bought this
in the lobby of a casino.
365
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,229
Well, don't shoot.
366
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,605
You must have us confused
with somebody else.
367
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,441
We didn't borrow
any money, I swear.
368
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,734
Sounds like somebody
wants to die.
369
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,986
Aah! No, no!
Stewie,
370
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,237
just give him the money
from the backpack.
371
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,822
Okay, okay. Don't shoot.
372
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,449
Wha... It's empty.
373
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,367
It's just Cheerios
and coloring books.
374
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,119
What? Where the hell
is the money?
375
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,745
Sir, we can't give you
any money,
376
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,622
but if you've got
some milk and a bowl,
377
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,250
we can give you a pretty
healthy way to start your day.
378
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,251
All right,
enough of this.
379
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,752
You, dog,
380
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,504
pick which one of
you two is gonna die.
381
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,257
What? You can't ask me
to decide something like that.
382
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,635
The life of every being
is sacred, just like the life...
383
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,095
Fine. I'll kill you.
384
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,472
No, no, kill him.
He's a baby.
385
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,098
He-he won't even remember
he was alive.
386
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,266
You son of a b...
387
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,518
(gunshot)
Aah! Stewie!
388
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,396
Now, get us the
money you borrowed.
389
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,773
Oh, my God, Stewie, no!
390
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,775
(sobbing)
391
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,155
Yeah, I was booked
for three hours
392
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,115
by Archibald Meatpants.
393
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,493
He's... he's dead.
394
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,995
Okay, well, either way,
I'm getting paid,
395
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,539
and somebody's
getting torn open.
396
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,794
What the hell
are we gonna do, Stewie?
397
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,421
We have no money,
no way to get home,
398
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,507
and one of the loan shark's
goons is probably gonna bust
399
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,383
through that door
any minute and kill us both.
400
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,010
I wish my daddy were here.
401
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,762
He always knows what to do.
402
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,015
(engine starts)
403
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,642
Oh, son of a bitch.
404
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,143
Well, I better leave a note.
405
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,645
It's the right thing to do.
406
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,150
God, I've never felt
so hopeless.
407
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,902
I mean, what are we
supposed to do?
408
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,362
Just wait for them
to come kill us?
409
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,863
Well, we could
go on the run.
410
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,865
With what money?
And they'd still find us.
411
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,367
Well, why don't we
just hitchhike home?
412
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,743
Even if we could get
back there,
413
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,037
we'd just be putting
the whole family in danger.
414
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,039
(sighs) I don't see
any way out of this.
415
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,667
Well, there is one
thing we could do.
416
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,001
What? What's that?
417
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,546
We could go out
on our own terms.
418
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,256
What? You're saying
we should kill ourselves?
419
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,048
Well, think about it.
420
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,383
We're stuck here,
just waiting
421
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,801
for some mobster
to do it.
422
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,886
At least this way,
we can go out together.
423
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,805
But think
about what you're saying.
424
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,390
Brian, we're dead
no matter what.
425
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,183
At least this way,
it'll be quick and clean.
426
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,185
Well, not clean for the staff
of the hotel,
427
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,312
but that's not really gonna be
our problem anymore.
428
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,689
L-I don't know.
429
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,816
Look, it's not like we've got
a lot to live for.
430
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,192
I mean, I'm just gonna
end up like Chris,
431
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:51,028
only I'll be smart enough
to realize how miserable I am.
432
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,947
And you've only got
a few good years left anyway,
433
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,283
and that's if we even get
out of here alive.
434
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,827
(sighs)
All right, Stewie.
435
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,079
Let's do it.
436
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,706
Yeah, see, I'm glad
you came around.
437
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,916
You know, the only thing
that was holding me back
438
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,836
even a little is knowing how
much Lois is gonna milk this.
439
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,214
Everyone, I truly want
to thank you for your support
440
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,092
and remind you that,
as far as casseroles go,
441
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,218
we're good on pasta,
442
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,721
but we could use
some more dessert items.
443
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,307
(sobbing)
444
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,309
Oh, I miss my baby so much,
445
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,102
and I'm more
of a chocolate person
446
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,354
than a fruit person.
447
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,572
Well, this is it.
448
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,324
I guess so.
449
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,117
Count to three?
450
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,744
Yep.
451
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,246
BOTH:
One, two...
452
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,497
Three!
I'm sorry.
453
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,957
I can't. I want to live!
454
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,834
I didn't really think
we were gonna do it.
455
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,128
You dick!
456
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,463
Oh, my God, Brian!
457
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,089
Brian, no!
458
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,758
Good Lord, what have I done?
459
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,760
I better get the hell
out of here.
460
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,261
What the deuce?
461
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,347
Where did this come from?
462
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,767
Well, looks like
Archibald Meatpants
463
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,769
is gonna have a fun night.
464
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,982
One-way to Providence, please.
465
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,151
Yeah, how much to get
to Providence?
466
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,653
Brian?
467
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,655
Stewie, what the hell?
468
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,781
But how can you be...
469
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,115
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
470
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,159
C-Could it be?
471
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,036
What the hell is going on?
472
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,996
My teleportation machine worked.
473
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,665
Of course it did;
that's how we got here.
474
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,999
No, that's how
you got here.
475
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,167
I flew.
476
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,169
The machine must have
created two pairs of us--
477
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,171
one that was teleported
to Las Vegas
478
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,172
and the other that wasn't.
479
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,049
You're kidding.
That's unbelievable.
480
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,384
I know, it... Wait.
481
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,885
Where's the other me?
482
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,887
Oh, um... What?
483
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,931
Where is the Stewie
you came with?
484
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:45,309
Oh, well, th-these thugs
came to shoot you,
485
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,062
and I tried to throw myself
in front of the bullet,
486
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,690
but it must have gone, like,
under my armpit or something
487
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,692
'cause it-it exploded
your face.
488
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,151
Wait, what about
the other me?
489
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,320
Oh, it was so sad.
490
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,530
You took your own life.
491
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,323
I tried like hell to
talk you out of it,
492
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,158
but you jumped
off a balcony.
493
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,702
People keep coming
back every hour
494
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,036
because they think
it's a regular show,
495
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,330
like-like the volcano or
the pirate ship thing.
496
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,832
Wow.
497
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,334
Well, I-I'm so glad
you're alive.
498
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,919
Yeah, same with you.
499
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,921
Well, we should
probably head home.
500
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,214
Definitely.
501
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,216
Um, uh, the only thing is,
I'm a little short.
502
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,843
Is there any chance
you could cover me
503
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:19,719
for the ticket?
504
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,846
Oh, let me see
how much I have.
505
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,060
Good news!
I have just enough.
506
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,354
ANNOUNCER (over P.A.):
Now departing for Providence.
507
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,231
HEY, did you guys see O?
508
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,232
No, that seemed lame.
509
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,234
You know, the other you
was a lot more fun.
510
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,360
Which one is O?
511
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,070
Is that the-the
swimming one?
512
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,864
Don't-don't try to demean it.
513
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,116
How does it feel to be
the least cultured person
514
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,576
at a bus station?
515
00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,009
Hey.