1
00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:07,666
We now return
to Doctor Who Farted.

2
00:00:10,916 --> 00:00:13,059
Doctor, the alien
attack has begun!

3
00:00:13,083 --> 00:00:15,851
We've got to return
to the 21st century!

4
00:00:15,875 --> 00:00:18,684
Uh... we can't go into
the time machine right now.

5
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,642
But they're going
to kill us all!

6
00:00:20,666 --> 00:00:23,517
All right, all right,
just one second.

7
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:25,541
So, how was your weekend?

8
00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:30,726
I-Is, is it your line?

9
00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:32,351
I don't...
Uh, no, I don't think so.

10
00:00:32,375 --> 00:00:34,017
I'm-I'm sorry,
whose line is it?

11
00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:36,726
Cut!

12
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,767
That was Peter's line.
Where's Peter?

13
00:00:38,791 --> 00:00:42,184
Sorry, I was in my trailer
eating fancy nuts and smoking.

14
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,934
All right,
everybody, take five.

15
00:00:44,958 --> 00:00:48,684
Okay, I'll be in my dressing
room playing online poker.

16
00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:51,726
That's me asking for help.

17
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,684
Hi, I'm James Woods.

18
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,517
You might know me
from banging your niece

19
00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:57,226
on a pile of your brother's
pool equipment.

20
00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:58,892
Or from Salvador.

21
00:00:58,916 --> 00:01:00,684
But tonight,
I'm here to take you

22
00:01:00,708 --> 00:01:03,392
behind the scenes
on the set of Family Guy.

23
00:01:03,416 --> 00:01:05,642
For the first time ever,
you'll see what a typical

24
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:09,392
production week is like
for TV's 11th favorite family.

25
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:11,559
So please join me as we go.

26
00:01:11,583 --> 00:01:13,583
Inside Family Guy.

27
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:40,559
Well, it's certainly not easy
being a family

28
00:01:40,583 --> 00:01:43,309
that also happens to star
in a sitcom together.

29
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,267
Especially last year,
when I discovered

30
00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:47,142
those naked pictures
of that 18-year-old intern

31
00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:48,976
on Peter's phone.

32
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,184
But he explained
that his phone number

33
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:54,184
was the old number
of-of her ex-boyfriend,

34
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,309
so... what was it again?

35
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,267
Oh, the Cloud, that's right.

36
00:01:58,291 --> 00:02:00,434
So the photos were on the Cloud,

37
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:03,434
and that the-the Cloud
pulled the pictures or...?

38
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:06,601
I mean, even if the pictures had
not been sent directly to him,

39
00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:08,934
and that's why he has them.

40
00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:10,809
And-and we both
called the Apple store,

41
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:12,934
and they said they can't
disprove that it doesn't happen,

42
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:16,267
so here we are, still married,
still on the show.

43
00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:19,309
A-And it's happened
five times since then,

44
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:23,101
and some of the pictures had
both Peter and the girl in them.

45
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:24,767
Being on this show reminds me

46
00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:26,851
of one of my favorite
quotes from Macbeth.

47
00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:28,333
What's the quote?

48
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,726
I didn't realize
this was a trial.

49
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,726
Objection, Your Honor.

50
00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:35,059
Oh, yeah, it's great, you know,
doing a show with your family.

51
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,059
'Cause what guy doesn't
want to go to his office

52
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,351
and have his family there?

53
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,559
You know, and then you
go home after work

54
00:02:39,583 --> 00:02:41,517
and catch up with the family.

55
00:02:41,541 --> 00:02:43,559
And then, uh,
next day, same thing.

56
00:02:43,583 --> 00:02:47,476
Just trying to make it to
the weekend, so you can, uh...

57
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,684
spend some time with the family.

58
00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:52,184
Isn't that the dream?

59
00:02:52,208 --> 00:02:53,642
Now, I-I understand the show

60
00:02:53,666 --> 00:02:55,392
was quite different
when it started.

61
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:58,809
Yeah, in the original pilot,
I was actually the star.

62
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:02,142
It was called,
Chris Griffin: Teen Doctor.

63
00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:05,642
Sir, I'm afraid
I've got some bad news.

64
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:08,625
Well, it can't be any
worse than what's in here.

65
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:12,351
I ad-libbed that line.

66
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:14,184
I wasn't even supposed to talk.

67
00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:15,726
What they didn't know
is that I'd been privately

68
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:18,184
doing jokes
about the newspaper for years.

69
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:19,767
But, you know,
it's not just the Griffins

70
00:03:19,791 --> 00:03:22,267
who work hard to make
Family Guy what it is.

71
00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:24,017
Here in the props department,

72
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,892
some sweaty guy
is working on the Petercopter.

73
00:03:25,916 --> 00:03:27,226
That's right.

74
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,684
You know, a lot of people
don't realize SEAL Team Six

75
00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:32,541
actually completed
their mission in this puppy.

76
00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:35,517
Oh, cool, Family Guy!

77
00:03:35,541 --> 00:03:37,625
Over here!
I'm down here!

78
00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,226
Knock-knock?

79
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,726
Yeah?
Hi, Stewie.

80
00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:43,851
Hey, I was just showing
the viewers around Family Guy,

81
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:47,226
and we thought we'd drop in
and talk to you about the show.

82
00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:48,684
You want to talk
about the show?

83
00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:50,434
I'll talk about the show.
The show sucks.

84
00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:53,101
The only reason I stay here
is to maintain my profile

85
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:56,642
for my start-up business,
DiscreetCrepe.com.

86
00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:59,059
Hi. Are you a straight,
adult male who likes

87
00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:01,226
to eat crepes without people
making unwanted assumptions

88
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,726
about your private life?

89
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:04,267
Go to DiscreetCrepe.com,

90
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:06,583
place your order,
and within 30 minutes...

91
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,976
Very masculine pizza delivery
for Stewie Griffin?

92
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,101
Oh, thank you.

93
00:04:14,125 --> 00:04:18,267
Mmm, strawberry-banana Nutella
with raspberry drizzle!

94
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,267
Now I just need a guy's butt
to eat this off of,

95
00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:22,226
and I got myself a night.

96
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,142
But of course,
every episode of Family Guy

97
00:04:24,166 --> 00:04:25,934
starts with the writing.

98
00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:29,125
And here we are...
the Family Guy writers' room...

99
00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:32,851
...where the writers
are hard at work

100
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:34,601
with the show's
talented cast.

101
00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,434
Look, don't get me wrong, guys,
I-I think it's hilarious,

102
00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:38,642
and-and I totally get
that the sex thing

103
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:41,184
is what made me popular,
but would it kill us

104
00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:44,434
to just once tell a joke
that brings glory to God?

105
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,767
Eight years ago, Glenn opened
a restaurant where he was

106
00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:49,101
spying on ladies
peeing in the bathroom.

107
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:50,976
As part of the class-action
settlement,

108
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,142
he entered rehab,
and that's where he found Jesus.

109
00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:56,434
The restaurant
was called Sprinklers.

110
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:58,476
That should've been a tip-off.

111
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:02,142
He still runs Dumpy's, but I'm
pretty sure that one's legit.

112
00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:03,767
As the star of the show,

113
00:05:03,791 --> 00:05:06,476
Peter likes to stay involved
in the writing process.

114
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,267
All right,
butthorns,

115
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:10,476
which one of you idiots
wrote this script?

116
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,101
Uh, I did.

117
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,976
Oh, what'd you write it,
like, on a computer?

118
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,059
Yeah.

119
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:16,559
So you know a lot
about computers?

120
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,142
Yeah.

121
00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:20,226
Can you show me how to turn off
the flashlight on my phone?

122
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,309
Don't touch my phone!

123
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,684
And another thing, I read
this piece of garbage script.

124
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:26,309
It's only one page.

125
00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:27,227
That's never gonna cut it.

126
00:05:27,251 --> 00:05:29,059
Uh, that's
just the cover.

127
00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:31,642
You can turn the page,
like this.

128
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:34,142
Well, why you hiding all these
pages behind the first page?!

129
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:35,309
What's wrong with them?!

130
00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:37,017
Stand by your work
or get out!

131
00:05:37,041 --> 00:05:38,333
Now, spit in each
other's mouths.

132
00:05:40,166 --> 00:05:43,059
You know I'm only tough on you
'cause I hate you, right?

133
00:05:43,083 --> 00:05:45,892
Yeah, over the years, Peter's
become just a total nightmare.

134
00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:47,809
I mean, you know,
he's not Jim Belushi.

135
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,851
He's not peeing
in Snapple bottles on set,

136
00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:51,892
which is, like,
a totally real thing.

137
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,809
But he-he's-he's pretty bad.

138
00:05:53,833 --> 00:05:56,017
Dad refuses to interact
with any actors on set.

139
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:58,101
He'll only rehearse
with helium balloons

140
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,517
with crudely drawn faces
on them.

141
00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:02,184
I'm sorry, Meg,
but you're grounded.

142
00:06:02,208 --> 00:06:04,083
But, Dad,
the prom is tonight. Over.

143
00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:07,041
You heard
your father, Meg. Over.

144
00:06:09,041 --> 00:06:10,851
Peter, you ready
to hit the Drunken Clam?

145
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:12,892
Over.

146
00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:16,101
It's difficult having to give up
my chair for the balloon.

147
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,559
But that's the business
we call "show."

148
00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:21,059
Excuse me, Joe.

149
00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:23,184
The Fat Man's behavior
has been deteriorating

150
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,559
for quite some time.

151
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:26,726
And I think someone may have

152
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:29,892
placed an anonymous phone call
to the network about it.

153
00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:32,767
You have no idea how bad
it is here!

154
00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,684
He screams and yells and he
makes a V

155
00:06:34,708 --> 00:06:36,059
with his fingers and then
licks it,

156
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,392
like, "luh-luh-luh-luh-luh",

157
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:38,559
which I am to understand

158
00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:39,809
is something dirty!

159
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,226
Please do something!

160
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,185
And, if possible,

161
00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:44,392
I'd love a "Master Chef"
T-shirt.

162
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:47,226
Word around the stage is they've
decided to finally fire Peter

163
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,059
and replace him
with another actor.

164
00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:50,392
And this time, it's permanent.

165
00:06:50,416 --> 00:06:52,767
Not like when we killed off
Brian for a few episodes,

166
00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:55,934
so he could shoot
that crappy movie... what was it?

167
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,226
It was a remake of Old Yeller
where the dog

168
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,059
gets the drop on him
and kills him first.

169
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,226
I'm sorry.

170
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:05,500
No, I'm sorry.

171
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:12,559
They miscalculated the number
of dogs who buy movie tickets.

172
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:14,267
It's actually
pretty awkward.

173
00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:16,226
I mean, Dad's the only one
in the whole production

174
00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,142
who doesn't know
he's being fired.

175
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:20,708
But he'll find out tomorrow
at the table read.

176
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:26,309
This is how we did that.

177
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,333
Bet you didn't know.

178
00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:40,142
The table read is where the
Family Guy cast reads aloud

179
00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,142
that week's script
to see how the story

180
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,142
and the jokes are working.

181
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:47,976
And where Peter will learn
he's being written off the show.

182
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,767
Okay, everybody, welcome to
the table read for this week's

183
00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:54,684
episode, entitled, "Peter Dies
(We're Really Serious, No Joke,

184
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:57,101
He's Dead
and Never Coming Back."

185
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:59,101
Oh, and there's other pages.
You got to turn them.

186
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:00,476
Here, let me show you.

187
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,809
"Interior, Griffins'
living room, day.

188
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,142
"Brian, Meg and Chris watch TV.

189
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:06,892
Lois enters, upset."

190
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:08,559
You guys, I have terrible news!

191
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:10,309
Your father is dead.

192
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:12,976
He was shot in the head
while killing himself.

193
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,976
I suppose he had his demons.

194
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,642
And his enemies.

195
00:08:16,666 --> 00:08:18,142
Wait, I'm... I'm what?

196
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,351
Oh-oh, I know.

197
00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:21,726
Stewie's gonna fire up
his time machine and undo this.

198
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,142
"Stewie enters."

199
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,143
Brian, bad news.

200
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,892
My time machine got a virus

201
00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,476
that causes Dad to die again
if it's ever used.

202
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,642
Oh, wait, you know what?

203
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:31,476
I-I bet this
is all Chris' dream.

204
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,851
Wow, I am wide awake!

205
00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:35,559
Okay, but there's
no way this is real.

206
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:38,059
They'd have to bring in
someone to replace me.

207
00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:39,809
"Uncle Ricky,
played by sitcom buzzard.

208
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,851
David Spade, enters."

209
00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:43,184
Hi, everybody.

210
00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:45,184
Uncle Ricky!

211
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:46,892
Hey guys,
a time period called.

212
00:08:46,916 --> 00:08:48,541
They want an object back.

213
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:52,726
Aw, do we have
to go to Dad's funeral?

214
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:55,684
Let's just play
with Uncle Ricky instead.

215
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:56,892
"The family cheers.

216
00:08:56,916 --> 00:08:58,708
They do not miss Peter."

217
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,017
I'm sorry, Peter,
but the production

218
00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:07,559
just can't deal
with all your nonsense anymore.

219
00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:08,684
We're letting you go.

220
00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:10,184
Oh, please,
don't do this!

221
00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:11,517
I'm begging you, just
give me one more chance!

222
00:09:11,541 --> 00:09:14,208
Okay, fine.

223
00:09:15,541 --> 00:09:18,017
All right, that's it,
you're fired!

224
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:19,934
And you guys are
all okay with this?!

225
00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:21,559
I'm sorry,
sweetheart.

226
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:23,059
This is painful
for all of us,

227
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,559
but we just don't
see another option.

228
00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:27,059
Yeah, Peter, we love you,

229
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,226
and-and you're
still part of the family,

230
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,392
just not part of the show.

231
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:31,809
Look, I don't know
who brought this on,

232
00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:33,392
but maybe it's for the best.

233
00:09:33,416 --> 00:09:35,601
All right, fine,
you bastards can fire me,

234
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:38,083
but at least I'm leaving
with my dignity.

235
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,059
Have a good life, Mr. G.

236
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:57,166
Your penis is out.

237
00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:03,392
Welcome back
to Inside Family Guy.

238
00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:05,101
I'm your host and angel investor
to the Fappening,

239
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,101
James Woods.

240
00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:08,351
Boy, we picked
quite a week to document

241
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,851
the production
of a Family Guy episode.

242
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,601
Yesterday, Peter Griffin
was fired from the show

243
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,851
and replaced by David Spade.

244
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:18,101
Given this surprising
development,

245
00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:21,184
we decided to follow Peter,
and see if our cameras

246
00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,851
could capture his story,
as well.

247
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,101
We caught up with Peter
at Hollywood's legendary.

248
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,767
Chateau Marmont Hotel,
where I once engaged

249
00:10:28,791 --> 00:10:31,601
in the consensual murder
of an underaged prostitute.

250
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:32,976
So, what's your plan?

251
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,934
Are you going to be
staying here for awhile?

252
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:36,476
Yeah, well, I figured if
my family doesn't want me

253
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:39,101
on the show, there's no reason
I should keep living with them.

254
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:42,101
I-I mean, there's no hard
feelings, um, I just feel like

255
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:45,809
this is best for me, and this is
best for those cancerous dicks.

256
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,017
And what's next
for Peter Griffin?

257
00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:50,059
Well, starting tomorrow,
I'm getting back out there.

258
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,476
I already got an audition
to be the caring dad

259
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,559
for a Cheerios commercial.

260
00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:55,476
Hey, Dad?

261
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,476
Yeah, bud?

262
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:57,477
When you were a kid,

263
00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:59,476
what did you want to be
when you grew up?

264
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,351
Well, I wanted
to be a rock star.

265
00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:02,976
Why didn't you
become one?

266
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,351
'Cause of you, bud.

267
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:06,809
I smiled at one girl
in a cell phone store,

268
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,684
and now here I am,
stuck eating cereal

269
00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:09,976
for dinner with a kid.

270
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,851
You'll always be
a rock star to me, Dad.

271
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:14,666
You ruined my life.

272
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,333
I'm going to bed.

273
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:26,642
Wednesdays are rehearsal
days here at Family Guy

274
00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:28,809
and the first rehearsal
with David Spade

275
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:31,041
appears to be
going very well.

276
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,351
"Uncle Ricky,

277
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:37,017
what are all these strippers
doing in our house?"

278
00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:39,208
"Uh... each other?"

279
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:44,684
Oh, my God!

280
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:45,916
I'm sorry, I just...

281
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:48,601
Did you see
the way he smirked?

282
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,601
He's like a naughty
53-year-old boy.

283
00:11:51,625 --> 00:11:52,726
Who is this guy?

284
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,059
I'm not familiar with him.

285
00:11:54,083 --> 00:11:56,226
That's David Spade
from Just Shoot Me!

286
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,559
I don't know that one.

287
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:59,351
He was in Grown-Ups,
Joe Dirt,

288
00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:00,767
Saturday Night Live.

289
00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:02,226
Saturday what how?

290
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,101
And he was also in some
movie called Senseless.

291
00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:05,392
With Marlon Wayans?

292
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:08,684
Oh, yeah, he played
Scott Thorpe.

293
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,267
Donna, I'm here
with Scott Thorpe.

294
00:12:11,291 --> 00:12:13,750
That's right,
from Senseless.

295
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:19,892
Yeah, I got to be honest,
I'm having a blast.

296
00:12:19,916 --> 00:12:22,142
You know, now that
I'm not tied down by the show,

297
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:24,726
it's given me more time
to pursue my true passion:

298
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:27,392
Weaving sexually
explicit tapestries

299
00:12:27,416 --> 00:12:28,750
featuring the Minions.

300
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:36,291
Did you have any questions
about the artist?

301
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:43,226
Thursdays at Family Guy
are reserved for shooting

302
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,934
all those flashbacks and
cutaway gags we love so much,

303
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:47,642
and what most people don't know

304
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:51,226
is that all these gags
are directed by James Cameron.

305
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,601
What's that?

306
00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:53,934
I'm sorry.

307
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,642
Apparently,
I misread the cue card.

308
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:58,309
They're directed by James,
the cameraman.

309
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:00,517
Tell us, how'd
you get the gig?

310
00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:03,934
I sell Vicodin to
some of the producers.

311
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,809
What a wonderful
Hollywood story.

312
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:08,184
You know, many viewers
think our cutaways

313
00:13:08,208 --> 00:13:10,434
are just whipped together,
but they actually

314
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:14,017
go through a rigorous
testing process before filming.

315
00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:16,767
This is the planet Jew-piter,

316
00:13:16,791 --> 00:13:20,375
and he could say,
"Next year is my star mitzvah."

317
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:22,684
They love it.

318
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,267
Tell the director.
Where is he?

319
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:26,809
It says don't take
it with alcohol,

320
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:28,601
but you should take
it with alcohol.

321
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,101
Yeah, duh.

322
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:32,601
I also need a couple for
the girl I'm babysitting.

323
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:36,642
Meanwhile, David Spade is
making lots of friends on set.

324
00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:38,892
Yeah, I'll definitely
talk to the writers.

325
00:13:38,916 --> 00:13:40,976
I agree, there's a lot
about your character

326
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,142
that's still untapped.

327
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:43,892
Okay, thank you, because,

328
00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,642
like, yes, I'm greased-up

329
00:13:45,666 --> 00:13:48,226
and, yes, I'm deaf,
but what else am I?

330
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,226
Totally.

331
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,227
Thanks, man.

332
00:13:50,251 --> 00:13:51,476
Okay, we're ready for you.

333
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,059
I'll be right there.

334
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,642
Who's the new kid?

335
00:13:55,666 --> 00:13:57,892
Hot-chee-wawa!

336
00:13:57,916 --> 00:14:01,500
Unfortunately, things aren't
going quite so well for Peter.

337
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:07,226
Yeah, it's an '09,
fully loaded, extra cool A/C.

338
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:08,517
Great.

339
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:11,059
I just made $500
flipping a Honda.

340
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,809
All I did was
Armor-All the dash.

341
00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,208
Boom.

342
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:19,184
Hey, any mail for me?

343
00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:20,767
Yes, your death
threats to Grimace

344
00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:22,226
have all been returned.

345
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,601
Well, has the Shamrock Shake
period been extended?

346
00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:26,226
I believe that's
still seasonal,

347
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,767
but while I have you,
your bill remains unpaid,

348
00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:31,184
and we saw you selling
our robes on eBay.

349
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:33,351
I'm afraid we're evicting
you from the hotel.

350
00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:35,184
What's your
home address?

351
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,226
I'm sorry, sir.

352
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,184
Now do you want to
leave the regular way,

353
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:40,101
or do you want our Uncle
Phil to throw you out?

354
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,875
I think you know
what I want.

355
00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:54,102
Door was unlocked.

356
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:55,375
I'm sure that's fine.

357
00:14:57,833 --> 00:15:00,101
Well, this seems like
a really cheery place,

358
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:02,726
and looks like some guy
named Brooks was here,

359
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,726
and I think this is gonna
work out just great.

360
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:07,142
You don't miss your show
or your family at all?

361
00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:09,059
Of course I miss my family,

362
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:12,226
but everything comes to an end
eventually, a-and you just...

363
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,434
you just got to keep
moving forward.

364
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,892
Are you gonna
be all right?

365
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,101
Oh, yeah, yeah.

366
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,726
I-in fact, I was just about
to melt some cheese on chips

367
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:22,434
if you want to stay
for a sad, single guy dinner.

368
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:23,892
You going oven
or microwave?

369
00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:25,142
Uh, microwave.

370
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,666
I don't know how
to turn on the oven.

371
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:30,500
Those, uh, chips are
gonna be chewy, Peter.

372
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:40,351
Friday night is tape night
here at Family Guy,

373
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:44,142
but tonight they'll be filming
the show without Peter Griffin.

374
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:46,601
I have to admit,
it's a little strange

375
00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:48,142
taping a show without Peter.

376
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,184
It-it just doesn't feel right.

377
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:52,184
I'm especially going
to miss the Fat Man's bit

378
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:53,476
with the audience where he fires

379
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,351
the T-shirt cannon
at his own head.

380
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:58,267
You know he once tried to hold
up a store with that thing?

381
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,101
All right,
everybody on the floor.

382
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,267
Empty the register.

383
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:02,267
Please, don't do this!

384
00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:03,268
Oh, yeah?

385
00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:04,476
You want to be a hero?

386
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,351
Here's what
happens to heroes.

387
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,017
Anybody else want
to be a hero?

388
00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:09,101
Ooh, me, me, me!

389
00:16:09,125 --> 00:16:10,851
Over here!
Over here!

390
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:13,309
And with regard
to Peter's replacement, well,

391
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,642
as his parents and
previous co-stars have learned,

392
00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:19,184
a little of David Spade
goes a long way.

393
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:21,309
David, the line is,
"What's for dinner?"

394
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,476
Go again.

395
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,583
What's for dinner?

396
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:28,892
Okay, we can trim
that in editing.

397
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:30,517
He's getting on people's nerves.

398
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:33,809
I mean, there's only so many
jars I can open for one man.

399
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:35,892
Lois, I want pickles!

400
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:37,184
Coming!

401
00:16:37,208 --> 00:16:40,059
He has tiny hands
but when one of my rings

402
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,309
went down the drain,
he got it right out.

403
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,142
Meanwhile, Peter has wound up

404
00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:46,767
here at the Chinese Theatre,
where panhandlers

405
00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:48,809
dress up like
iconic movie characters

406
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:51,017
and charge tourists for photos.

407
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,142
It's even seedier
than it sounds.

408
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:54,809
Step right up,
get your picture taken

409
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:57,309
with beloved comic
icon, Little Lotta.

410
00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,309
Just two dollars.

411
00:16:58,333 --> 00:16:59,310
Who are you?

412
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:00,476
Uh, Little Lotta?

413
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,351
She was friends
with Audrey and Dot.

414
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:03,875
Never heard of her.

415
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:12,017
That's it.
Screw this.

416
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:15,416
I am taking back my TV show
and my family.

417
00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:19,875
Ah, we just missed her.

418
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:26,059
Hey, Smitty, I'm here
to get my show back.

419
00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:28,851
I'm sorry, Mr. Griffin,
but we have specific orders

420
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,351
not to let you
onto the lot.

421
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:31,392
Seriously?

422
00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:33,101
Well, I suppose,
you could come inside

423
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:34,559
if you had an
idea for a show

424
00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:36,208
the heads of the
network wanted to buy.

425
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:39,184
Bumblr with a Tumblr.

426
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:40,185
So, you see, he's got

427
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:42,351
a Tumblr account,
and he's clumsy.

428
00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:44,642
We really like the idea
that the words rhyme.

429
00:17:44,666 --> 00:17:47,226
Absolutely,
but just a thought:

430
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:49,559
What if he doesn't bumble?

431
00:17:49,583 --> 00:17:52,267
Um... I-I guess so.

432
00:17:52,291 --> 00:17:55,059
And are we married
to the Tumblr account?

433
00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:58,226
They bought the pitch, but, um,
after a series of network notes,

434
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:01,892
Bumblr with a Tumblr eventually
aired as Bamblr with a Famblr,

435
00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:05,101
which made sense to nobody
and is now in its third season.

436
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,309
It did also get me on the lot.

437
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:09,226
All right,
stop the show!

438
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,227
Dad!

439
00:18:10,251 --> 00:18:11,726
That's right,
I'm back!

440
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,267
And, Chris, I brought you
a T-shirt of Kermit the Frog

441
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,392
acting like a hip-hop guy.

442
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:17,059
That's so dope.

443
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:18,601
Don't put it on.
It'll fall apart,

444
00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:21,392
but listen, everybody,
I realized something.

445
00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:24,392
I've been a real jerk...
to you guys, and to all

446
00:18:24,416 --> 00:18:26,184
the union fat asses
that I assume do something

447
00:18:26,208 --> 00:18:27,684
to keep this thing going.

448
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:30,934
The fact is, I got
too big for my britches,

449
00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:34,267
but I know now that I'm
nothing without all of you.

450
00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:36,267
Aw, that's nice
of you to say.

451
00:18:36,291 --> 00:18:38,267
Thank you, Stewie,
who I can understand,

452
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:41,934
and if you guys can find it
in your hearts to take me back,

453
00:18:41,958 --> 00:18:44,267
well, then I promise that
every day I'll prove to you

454
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:48,101
how much the show, and how much
my family, means to me.

455
00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:49,267
Oh, Peter.

456
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,309
Of course we'll take you back.

457
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:53,434
Oh, welcome back, buddy.

458
00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:54,934
We missed you so much.

459
00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:58,976
My online poker problem
is burning like a wildfire.

460
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,476
Well, there's
only one problem.

461
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:01,601
What's that?

462
00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:03,601
What are we gonna do
about David Spade?

463
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,351
Don't worry, I already
took care of that.

464
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:07,809
I got Sofía Vergara deported.

465
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,684
Hey, everyone,
cuchi, cuchi.

466
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,392
I'm your mother now.

467
00:19:12,416 --> 00:19:14,309
So, all right,
let's do a show.

468
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:16,309
Oh, wait,
if my character's still alive,

469
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:18,017
that means we don't have
a script to shoot.

470
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:19,309
Oh, look at this.

471
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,892
We just happen to have

472
00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:22,976
a whole extra
script right here.

473
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,541
"Pete, Don't
Fail Me Now."

474
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:27,642
Sounds like I might
be a teacher.

475
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,976
Oh, I have a goatee up
till the first commercial,

476
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,684
and then I'm a teacher.

477
00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:33,517
Every week, Peter becomes a diva

478
00:19:33,541 --> 00:19:36,476
so the writers write
a fake script, killing him off.

479
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:39,017
He storms out,
then by Friday's taping,

480
00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:42,226
comes crawling back,
and we shoot the real script.

481
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,059
Of course,
he always forgets by Monday,

482
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,059
and then he becomes
a pain in the ass again.

483
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,476
Does it bother me that
he does this every week?

484
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,517
Uh, why don't you ask my Camaro?

485
00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:56,059
So, I guess this actually
was a very typical week

486
00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:57,684
on the set of Family Guy.

487
00:19:57,708 --> 00:19:59,184
Thanks for joining us.

488
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:02,267
I'm James Woods, and we'll
close tonight with a supercut

489
00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:05,017
of every time in the show's
history that Peter got hit

490
00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:07,041
in the crotch
with a bag of nickels.

491
00:20:10,416 --> 00:20:11,875
Damn it.

492
00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:15,226
Why?!

493
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,601
Hey, Lois, you should do

494
00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:17,684
that thing that
I like...

495
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:18,767
Hey, kids, have you
seen my wallet?

496
00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:20,017
Oh, nickels!

497
00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:21,767
Son of a bitch!

498
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:22,851
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

499
00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:24,267
we have now reached
our cruising...

500
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,185
Ah, damn it!

501
00:20:25,209 --> 00:20:26,851
Boy, can't beat
this weather...

502
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,375
Who is that kid?

503
00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:31,226
Hello?

504
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,227
Uh, hang on, I'll check.

505
00:20:32,251 --> 00:20:34,083
Phone call for
"a bag of nickels"?

506
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:37,809
At least he was alone.

507
00:20:37,833 --> 00:20:39,726
They usually travel in threes.

508
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:41,226
Ow! Crap.

509
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:43,309
B-B-B-Bird, bird, bird,
b-b-b-bird...

510
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,333
Ah, nickels!

511
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:49,101
Oh, damn it!

512
00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:50,925
Do you think I'm ever
gonna be able to have...