1 00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,652 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:07,731 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:11,343 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,346 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:17,832 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:21,411 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,855 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,172 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,112 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy. ♪ 10 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,073 (indistinct chatter) 11 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,369 Everyone, welcome to our summer block party. 12 00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,263 -Now, eat and drink up. -Yeah. 13 00:00:39,356 --> 00:00:42,041 And also enjoy Pandora. It's great music, 14 00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:44,192 and all the ads are tailored to me. 15 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,769 ANNOUNCER: Try Hims for Men. 16 00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:47,938 If you're experiencing erectile dysfunction, 17 00:00:48,031 --> 00:00:50,457 Hims for Men delivers right to your door. 18 00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,442 Don't tell your doctor about your heart problem, 19 00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,628 or he might not give you the penis pill. 20 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:55,888 Hims for Men. 21 00:00:56,115 --> 00:00:58,115 Uh, must be some kind of mix-up. 22 00:00:58,208 --> 00:00:59,874 I-I don't even know what that product is. 23 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,727 Hi. I have an unmarked, discreet delivery 24 00:01:01,954 --> 00:01:04,137 -addressed to "Peter Griffin's Penis"? -Ah, yes. 25 00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,973 I will take these business papers. Thank you. 26 00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,625 This was supposed to be here yesterday. 27 00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,052 I had to use tape and a Popsicle stick. 28 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:14,131 All right, time to Slippery Slide. 29 00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:16,891 You sure? Slippery Slides are a nightmare 30 00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:18,985 of unexpected bumps and mishaps. 31 00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:21,080 Really? 'Cause the multicultural kids 32 00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:22,973 on the box seem to be having fun. 33 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,232 -Hi. -Hola. 34 00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:26,810 I'm a real boy who was put here by a witch. 35 00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:29,129 Okay, Bri, watch and learn. 36 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,590 (laughing) 37 00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,668 Yay! Fun! 38 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,653 Aah! (grunts) 39 00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:39,172 Ah, public humiliation. 40 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,658 You must be a United States senator. 41 00:01:41,827 --> 00:01:43,176 (laughs) Good one, Joe. 42 00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:46,087 Come join me at the barbecue with the other favored men. 43 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,681 Yeah, we're having a blast. 44 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:50,359 No, no, no. No, no. No. 45 00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:54,262 Wow, Meg insisted 46 00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:56,173 that one corner of the grill be vegan, 47 00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:58,300 and then she ate a rib in front of everybody. 48 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,285 She's all over the place today. 49 00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,288 Oh, my God, there's blood in my pants. 50 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,848 And it's coming from my crotch. 51 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:07,351 I've seen enough commercials during The Good Wife 52 00:02:07,369 --> 00:02:09,202 to know there's only one explanation. 53 00:02:09,355 --> 00:02:12,631 Rupert, I'm having my period. 54 00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:14,191 It's a true rite of passage, 55 00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:16,468 like an Italian's baptism. 56 00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:18,637 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, 57 00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:20,213 you will now drive a Camaro, 58 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,199 hate every minute of your yearly vacation to Italy 59 00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:25,202 and get very upset when your sister starts to date. 60 00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:26,887 Sorry I'm late. I brought Clark. 61 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,221 MEN: Hey! 62 00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:29,706 Father, drown me in this water. 63 00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:31,400 She's breaking my heart. 64 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,065 I'm exhausted. Three beers at a barbecue, 65 00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,809 and my whole night was hand-against-the-wall pees. 66 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,720 What happened to me? I feel like... 67 00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:44,979 I feel like I'm in a funk. 68 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,665 CLEVELAND: I'm also in a funk. 69 00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:50,485 But, nah, I, too, feel age-related weariness. 70 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,338 Yeah, I'm also pretty down. My real estate agent died. 71 00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,248 -What? -My real estate agent. 72 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,734 Like most single men, my only Christmas cards 73 00:02:57,827 --> 00:03:00,737 are from my realtor and the guy who sold me my car. 74 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:01,847 We kind of aged together. 75 00:03:02,074 --> 00:03:04,908 ♪ I seem to recognize ♪ 76 00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:07,577 ♪ Your face ♪ 77 00:03:07,596 --> 00:03:09,021 (dialogue inaudible) 78 00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:14,676 ♪ Haunting familiar, yet I can't seem ♪ 79 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,529 ♪ To place it ♪ 80 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:21,015 ♪ Cannot find the candle of thought ♪ 81 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:25,537 ♪ To light your name ♪ 82 00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:31,293 ♪ Lifetimes are catching up with me ♪ 83 00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:38,866 ♪ All these changes taking place ♪ 84 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:43,705 ♪ I wish I'd seen the place ♪ 85 00:03:43,799 --> 00:03:49,970 ♪ But no one's ever taken me ♪ 86 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,790 ♪ Hearts and thoughts, they fade ♪ 87 00:03:53,809 --> 00:03:57,385 ♪ Fade away ♪ 88 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:01,481 ♪ Hearts and thoughts, they fade ♪ 89 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,391 ♪ Fade. ♪ 90 00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:04,243 How did he die? 91 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,303 He was screwing a client's wife, 92 00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:07,320 and the guy shot him. 93 00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:08,805 You know, I'm pretty down, too. 94 00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:11,308 The other day, I was watching the birthdays segment 95 00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:12,659 on Entertainment Tonight. 96 00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:14,902 Axl Rose is 60. 97 00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:17,647 Wow, 60? Cleveland, how old is Heavy D? 98 00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:19,574 -Dead. -Aw, that sucks. 99 00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:20,834 And I don't know about you guys, 100 00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,652 but I'm terrified of everything now. 101 00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:23,911 Like teenagers. 102 00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:26,172 I hear that. If I see one on my route, 103 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,599 I don't deliver the mail. 104 00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,676 -What do you do with it? -Throw it in the ocean. 105 00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:32,604 A seagull once fished out a college acceptance letter. 106 00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:34,088 Got to go to Fordham. 107 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:37,091 Welcome to the Fordham class of 2026. 108 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,778 (seagull squawking) 109 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:42,930 (chuckles): All right. Glad someone's excited. 110 00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:44,524 Man, what the hell happened to us? 111 00:04:44,676 --> 00:04:46,267 Why are we such losers? 112 00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:48,345 ♪ ♪ 113 00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:51,698 Sounds like you fellas are finding yourselves in a trough. 114 00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,199 Oh, hey, Mr. Mayor. How are you? 115 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:56,369 Hey, can we talk about expanding bike lanes in urban centers? 116 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,130 -Quagmire, shut up. -You shut up. 117 00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:00,373 We're not gonna change the Earth with silence, Peter. 118 00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:01,949 If I may say so, 119 00:05:02,118 --> 00:05:05,879 I think you boys need to stop sitting in bars and cubicles 120 00:05:06,031 --> 00:05:09,474 and go recapture your frontier spirit. 121 00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:11,417 Two terrible airlines? 122 00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:14,054 I own a dude ranch on the outskirts of town. 123 00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:16,464 You fellas should spend a weekend there. 124 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,650 You'd be surprised what a man can achieve 125 00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:22,303 when he steps away from the comforts of city life. 126 00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:23,679 I bet you'll find your courage 127 00:05:23,681 --> 00:05:26,808 and, who knows, maybe even some peace of mind. 128 00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:29,828 Well, I think going there sounds like a great idea. 129 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,221 Yeah, it's exactly what we need. 130 00:05:31,314 --> 00:05:33,147 -I'm in! -I've never seen a horse. 131 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,001 Great, it's settled. We are going to a dude ranch. 132 00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:37,577 -All right! -Yeehaw! 133 00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:40,730 I happen to know Austin, Texas, has eight-foot bicycle lanes. 134 00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:42,566 Now, I'm not looking for anything that expansive, 135 00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:44,901 but if a greener Quahog is what we're after, 136 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,403 I think we've got to start moving the needle. 137 00:05:46,572 --> 00:05:48,013 Oh, so just get rid of the sidewalks? 138 00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:49,255 That's not what I'm saying, Joe. 139 00:05:49,408 --> 00:05:51,591 It sounds like that's what you're saying. 140 00:05:51,743 --> 00:05:53,352 Hey, whatever this is? 141 00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:56,096 Wrap it up before y'all show up to the ranch. 142 00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:58,582 Yes, sir. And do we need special clothes 143 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,276 -for ranch dressing? -I'd wrap that up, too. 144 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,116 ♪ ♪ 145 00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:16,375 (car door closes) 146 00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,935 -Wow, look at this place. -It's pretty cool. 147 00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:21,271 Oh, that's a horse. I've seen those. 148 00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:23,773 -Morning, fellas. -Morning, Mr. Mayor. 149 00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:26,051 Hey, can I get a room far away from the ice machine? 150 00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:28,128 -Ice machine? -See, that's... 151 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,629 that's why I want to be away from it. 152 00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:32,908 Fellas, I think we had a miscommunication. 153 00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,969 This isn't a hotel. It's a working ranch. 154 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:37,879 You'll do your chores during the day 155 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,731 and sleep in the barn at night. 156 00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:41,566 What? I thought this was a vacation. 157 00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:43,902 Yeah, I thought it'd be fun, like Young Guns 158 00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:46,905 with Kiefer Sutherland and Blue Diamond Walnuts. 159 00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:48,815 Sorry, but you're not gonna find 160 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,035 your pioneer spirit in a hotel. 161 00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,080 Here, have a hat. 162 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:57,457 My own cowboy hat. 163 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,920 Listen up. This isn't just a hat. 164 00:07:02,071 --> 00:07:03,571 It's an oath. 165 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:07,074 An oath that you'll live by the cowboy's code of honor. 166 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,319 You'll wear it at all times. 167 00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:11,321 You'll put it over your face when you sleep, 168 00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:14,248 over your chest when you're delivering bad news, 169 00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:16,342 and over your privates when an outhouse 170 00:07:16,495 --> 00:07:18,770 falls down comically around you. 171 00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:20,230 PETER: Aah! Help! 172 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,167 Mine's small enough that I don't need the hat. 173 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:26,278 We're gonna fix that. 174 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,268 Oh, Rupert, I need my heat pad, 175 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,937 I need Kate, I need Leo, 176 00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:37,313 and I need ice cream. 177 00:07:37,365 --> 00:07:39,273 And I need not a word from you about it. 178 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,126 -Hey, Stewie. -Oh, hey, Bri. 179 00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:43,444 Guess who woke up to a Red Dawn? 180 00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:44,688 -What? -You know. 181 00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,465 Bobbin' with the Red Robin. 182 00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:48,800 Call off The Hunt for Red October, because we found it. 183 00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:50,952 Red Rover, Red Rover, 184 00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:52,862 can't go in the pool today, over. 185 00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,547 None of these are actual phrases. 186 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,957 Says the man. 187 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,291 I'm having my period. 188 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,644 It's like The Shining elevator down there. 189 00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,554 My 21st Century Box 190 00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,815 has been conquered by Eric the Very Red. 191 00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,800 Yeah, this is getting dangerously close 192 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,301 to a Will & Grace now. 193 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,970 But if you're bleeding down there, it's clearly 194 00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:11,305 because you hurt yourself on the Slippery Slide. 195 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,307 Oh, yeah? If I'm not having my period, 196 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,327 then why am I drinking herbal tea 197 00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:18,071 from a large earthenware mug with no handle on it? 198 00:08:18,223 --> 00:08:20,557 Stewie, trust me, boys can't get periods. 199 00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:23,743 Brian, it's 2022-- there's no such thing as a boy anymore. 200 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:26,062 Or a girl. Just a vast sea 201 00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,655 of chubby "theys" and "thems," 202 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,233 so coddled by their sanctimonious woke parents 203 00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:33,086 who think activism is virtue-signaling on Instagram. 204 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,996 If Martin Luther King could come back, 205 00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,589 and see what they were doing in his name, 206 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,791 he'd never stop throwing up. 207 00:08:38,943 --> 00:08:41,594 (slurping) 208 00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,079 Maybe... 209 00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:45,315 maybe you are having your period. 210 00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:50,587 If you fellas are gonna become cowboys, 211 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,347 the first thing we need to do is pair you all up 212 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,182 -with a horse. -Great. 213 00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:57,369 -I want this one. -Now, hold on, Peter. 214 00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,113 Real cowboys don't choose their horse. 215 00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:02,541 The horse chooses them. 216 00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:04,709 ♪ If you leave ♪ 217 00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,770 ♪ Don't leave now ♪ 218 00:09:06,788 --> 00:09:09,105 ♪ Please don't take ♪ 219 00:09:09,124 --> 00:09:10,957 ♪ My heart away ♪ 220 00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:12,700 ♪ Promise me ♪ 221 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,202 ♪ Just one more night ♪ 222 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,557 ♪ Then we'll go our separate ways ♪ 223 00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:22,561 ♪ We've always had time on our sides ♪ 224 00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:26,714 ♪ Now it's fading fast ♪ 225 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,293 ♪ Every second, every moment ♪ 226 00:09:30,312 --> 00:09:34,147 ♪ We've got to, we gotta make it last ♪ 227 00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:36,299 ♪ I touch you once ♪ 228 00:09:36,392 --> 00:09:38,392 ♪ I touch you twice ♪ 229 00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:42,414 ♪ I won't let go at any price ♪ 230 00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:46,142 ♪ I need you now like I need you then ♪ 231 00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:49,921 ♪ You always said we'd still be friends ♪ 232 00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:53,550 ♪ Someday ♪ 233 00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:58,321 ♪ If you leave, I won't cry ♪ 234 00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:02,508 ♪ I won't waste one single day ♪ 235 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:06,663 ♪ But if you leave, don't look back ♪ 236 00:10:06,681 --> 00:10:10,166 ♪ I'll be running the other way ♪ 237 00:10:10,185 --> 00:10:14,261 ♪ Seven years went under the bridge ♪ 238 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,949 ♪ Like time standing still ♪ 239 00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:22,120 ♪ Heaven knows what happens now ♪ 240 00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:25,698 ♪ You've got to, you got to say you. ♪ 241 00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:27,367 (crickets chirping) 242 00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:31,020 Hey, Peter, just wanted to make sure you're okay. 243 00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,022 Yeah, I was pretty bummed, but then I found 244 00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,449 these great desserts labeled "cow pie." 245 00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,284 Hmm. 246 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,804 You're off to a real bad start here, Peter. 247 00:10:39,956 --> 00:10:42,548 Just a real bad start. 248 00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,643 ♪ ♪ 249 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:59,048 Wow, can't believe we're doing a real cattle drive. 250 00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,884 I know, look at us. 251 00:11:00,902 --> 00:11:02,143 We're cowboys. 252 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,146 Now, hold on, you fellas ain't cowboys yet. 253 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,724 Not until you blaze your own trails. 254 00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:10,001 A buddy of mine in high school could blaze his own trail. 255 00:11:10,153 --> 00:11:11,986 Used to do it on the floor of the locker room 256 00:11:12,063 --> 00:11:13,897 and we'd be like, "Aah." 257 00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:15,915 While I appreciate the anecdote, 258 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,735 we like to keep our entendre singular 259 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:19,903 out here on the prairie. 260 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,012 Yes, sir. 261 00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,181 What I mean, fellas, 262 00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,166 is that to find your courage, 263 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:27,519 you need to do the last leg of this journey 264 00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:31,189 on your own and drive these cattle back to camp. 265 00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:33,099 Awesome. I'll drive this one. 266 00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:36,510 Peter, the cattle chooses you. 267 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,865 ♪ But if you leave, don't look back ♪ 268 00:11:41,092 --> 00:11:43,259 ♪ I'll be running the. ♪ 269 00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:45,111 ♪ ♪ 270 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,522 Rupert, where's my Kotex sanitary belt? 271 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:51,692 And do we still have any Wampole's vaginal cones? 272 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,694 Well, this is weird. No blood. 273 00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,297 It's only been a day, I don't understand. 274 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,608 No, I'm not going to ask 275 00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,277 about feminine hygiene issues on 4chan. 276 00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:02,870 You've got to relax with that site, man. 277 00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:04,556 Ah, here we are. 278 00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:06,391 "Short-term, sporadic bleeding 279 00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:08,618 "is generally not due to a period, 280 00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,729 but is more indicative of spotting." 281 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,022 Spotting? What's spotting? 282 00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:17,402 Oh, my God, Rupert. 283 00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,070 I'm pregnant! 284 00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:20,646 How did this happen? 285 00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:21,981 Ah, what do you care anyway? 286 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,316 I'm sure you'll do what you always do, 287 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,468 and bury yourself in your work. 288 00:12:25,487 --> 00:12:26,745 (phone vibrating) 289 00:12:29,732 --> 00:12:30,823 (door opens) 290 00:12:30,976 --> 00:12:32,233 I have Stewie on one. 291 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,127 He says he's been trying your cell. 292 00:12:35,997 --> 00:12:38,648 Uh, Stewie, he just stepped into a meeting. 293 00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,425 We'll have to return. 294 00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:49,392 One... two... 295 00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:55,756 This court rules that the farmer has violated 296 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,850 the Americans with Disabilities Act. 297 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,528 The farm hereby belongs to the sheep. 298 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,995 One. 299 00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:10,437 Guys, I can't go to sleep 300 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,348 without watching a Frasier rerun. 301 00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:14,233 Can one of you please tell me a Frasier? 302 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,536 All right. Once upon a time, 303 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,130 Frasier auditioned for a community play... 304 00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,332 No, not that one. One-one where he's with Niles. 305 00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,543 That's fair, those are the best ones. 306 00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:26,712 Once upon a time, Frasier and Niles were invited 307 00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:29,715 to a dinner party and both brought the same wine. 308 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,292 (snoring) 309 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,478 Look at that, already asleep. 310 00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:36,873 Hmm, guess everyone'e sleeping. 311 00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,042 It's just me and you, Mr. Bear. 312 00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:40,059 (growling) 313 00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:41,986 B-B-B-Bear?! 314 00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:43,896 (all scream) 315 00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:46,825 It's okay, guys, we might be getting attacked by a bear, 316 00:13:46,976 --> 00:13:49,052 or we might just be on Bear Scares. 317 00:13:49,054 --> 00:13:50,553 What's Bear Scares? 318 00:13:50,646 --> 00:13:53,998 Only Latvia's number-one bear prank show. 319 00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:56,000 -Aah! -(roars) 320 00:13:57,078 --> 00:13:59,912 ANNOUNCER: Bear Scares-- Latvia's number-one bear prank show. 321 00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,323 Now available on tapes sold on blankets 322 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,676 by African guys in New York City. 323 00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:07,328 Bear Scares-- gorrgul. 324 00:14:07,755 --> 00:14:09,264 ANNOUNCER 2: Bears sound different in Latvia. 325 00:14:13,502 --> 00:14:15,836 (growls, roars) 326 00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:17,413 What are we gonna do?! 327 00:14:17,432 --> 00:14:20,583 Oh, no! The bear's going after Quagmire. 328 00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:22,193 Aah! 329 00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:24,587 I'm gonna run behind this tree 330 00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:26,347 and then the bear's gonna drag me out. 331 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,182 Me, and very clearly not a dummy 332 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,017 who he then tosses around. 333 00:14:30,095 --> 00:14:32,036 (growls) 334 00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:33,946 Aah! Oh, no. 335 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,623 I'm being tossed around. 336 00:14:37,602 --> 00:14:40,753 Oh, God. Now we're all gonna be tossed around. 337 00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:43,364 (growling) 338 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,866 PETER: Oh, no. Oh no, help. 339 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,534 JOE: Make him stop. 340 00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:49,703 Aah! This is the real me! 341 00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,781 My dummy's riding a horse! 342 00:14:51,799 --> 00:14:53,874 Giddy-up. Yaw. 343 00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,311 Lil Nas X. 344 00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,642 Well, glad to see you're no longer crying on the couch. 345 00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:05,069 Yes, it turns out I was wrong about my period. 346 00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:07,071 Good. I'm glad you came to your senses. 347 00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,056 -Because I'm pregnant. -I'll pay to get rid of it. 348 00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:11,392 I-I'm sorry that's... that's just a reflex. 349 00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:14,228 Yes, I freaked out at first, too, but I... 350 00:15:14,397 --> 00:15:16,656 we decided it's for the best. 351 00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:19,066 So, if it's a boy, I'm naming him Timothée 352 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,235 after Timothée Chalamet, and if it's a girl, 353 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,480 I'm naming her Chalamet after Timothée Chalamet. 354 00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:26,315 What do you mean you don't like him? 355 00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,334 Name another A-list actor who couldn't 356 00:15:28,486 --> 00:15:30,244 sit in the front of a car because he's too light. 357 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,671 Stewie, this is ridiculous. 358 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,247 You don't like him either? 359 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,933 For God's sake, he looks like a marionette 360 00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,768 who broke loose from his strings. 361 00:15:36,919 --> 00:15:38,436 He's a daintier Eddie Redmayne. 362 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,347 If there's another actor who you can put in your checked baggage 363 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,775 without going over the limit, I'd like to hear it. 364 00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:45,259 Damn it, Stewie, you're not pregnant. 365 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,094 Oh, boy. The dog knows 366 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,172 he'll lose attention when the baby comes. 367 00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:51,691 You are the baby! A male baby. 368 00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:53,434 Look, I know all kids 369 00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:55,436 like to play make-believe and pretend to be adults. 370 00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,680 Sometimes they even convince themselves of it. 371 00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,532 Now, you've brought a new twist to this-- 372 00:15:59,608 --> 00:16:01,608 I don't want to diminish how weird this is-- 373 00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:02,961 but it's time for it to stop. 374 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,463 Because for God's sake, you are not pregnant. 375 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,510 (crying) 376 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,198 Okay, look, I-I didn't mean to break it to you so harshly. 377 00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:16,882 No, no. I just realized 378 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,644 now that I'm pregnant, I can't eat sushi. 379 00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:22,038 (sighs) You know what? Fine. 380 00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,481 -You're pregnant. -Thank you. 381 00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:25,632 It's just too bad you're gonna gain all that weight. 382 00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:28,302 -What? -When you're pregnant, you gain, like, 30 pounds. 383 00:16:28,396 --> 00:16:29,879 30 pounds? 384 00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:31,489 But I only weigh 15. 385 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,475 Well, no matter. At least I'll sleep comfortably 386 00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:37,662 and continue to have the same-sized, not-swollen feet. 387 00:16:39,224 --> 00:16:41,240 But I just bought Thom Browne boots. 388 00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:43,893 I got them for myself as a push present. 389 00:16:43,986 --> 00:16:45,169 Sorry, Stewie. 390 00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:47,654 Enjoy the miracle of life. 391 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,899 Oh, dear. Perhaps being pregnant 392 00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,492 will be more difficult than I thought. 393 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,161 And we still have to plan a gender reveal party. 394 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,163 Okay, would you rather do a cake reveal 395 00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:58,349 or burn Napa to the ground? 396 00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:00,476 (birds chirping) 397 00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:07,191 Oh, man, that bear kicked our asses. 398 00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:09,585 Well, thank God we're all okay. 399 00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:11,921 Good job, Joe. You stayed positive. 400 00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:14,198 It's why you're the rock of the group. 401 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,034 Wait a minute, where's my cowboy hat? 402 00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,610 I think the bear took it. 403 00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:18,852 Who gives a (bleep)? 404 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,020 What the hell, Joe? 405 00:17:20,114 --> 00:17:21,688 I always saw you as the rock of the group. 406 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,856 Damn it! 407 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,208 Don't you see, fellas? 408 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,103 We made a oath to the mayor to get our manhood back. 409 00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,047 And our hats are that manhood. 410 00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:31,440 So, we've got to find that bear and get it back. 411 00:17:31,459 --> 00:17:33,384 I don't know, that sounds dangerous. 412 00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:35,553 Come on, the whole reason we came here 413 00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,296 is 'cause we've turned into cowards. 414 00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:39,615 The mayor wanted us to finish this cattle drive 415 00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:42,285 like real cowboys, and that's exactly what we're gonna do. 416 00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:43,969 We'll do it with courage and teamwork. 417 00:17:44,122 --> 00:17:45,563 Who's with me? 418 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,192 Yeah, that's the spirit. 419 00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:54,888 Well, Bri, I'm heading out for sushi in my new boots. 420 00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:56,908 So I'm guessing you got rid of the baby? 421 00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,743 Yes, it was a tough decision. 422 00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:00,578 But today I took a morning-after cocktail 423 00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:03,397 of Flintstones vitamins, Ovaltine, castor oil, 424 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,583 and a splash of Dr. Pepper, since its name 425 00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:08,311 is both a medical professional and a vegetable. 426 00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:09,829 Well, I think you made the right decision. 427 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,072 Me too. I'm probably the only person 428 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:15,167 under 18 ever to say this, but being pregnant is fun 429 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,837 until it forces you to make sacrifices in any way. 430 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,840 Uh, yeah, I guess that's an okay takeaway. 431 00:18:20,992 --> 00:18:23,750 I just hope little Timothée or Chalamet understands. 432 00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:25,845 I think he or she would have grown up 433 00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:27,496 to be a strong woman 434 00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,423 or a very weak man. 435 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,685 So, uh, you know that you were never pregnant, right? 436 00:18:32,837 --> 00:18:34,779 Yes, I went to the hospital for a sonogram 437 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,597 and got yelled at by an angry nurse. 438 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,932 In case you were wondering whether she likes nonsense, 439 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,510 she, um... she does not. 440 00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:43,329 ♪ ♪ 441 00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,458 I can't believe we haven't found the bear yet. 442 00:18:47,685 --> 00:18:51,212 I was sure he'd be lured in by my tax portfolio seminar. 443 00:18:53,691 --> 00:18:55,358 (growling) 444 00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:56,759 (all scream) 445 00:18:58,029 --> 00:18:59,595 Aah! 446 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,550 Uh-oh. I'm gonna get Revenant-ed. 447 00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:06,644 Remember that movie we all said was amazing 448 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:08,371 and then immediately forgot? 449 00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:09,814 (roars) 450 00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:12,233 Don't worry, Peter, we got this. 451 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,450 (roaring) 452 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,811 (grunts) 453 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,164 -Yeah! -All right! 454 00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:28,148 And I lassoed his neck so he can masturbate. 455 00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:31,394 Now give me back my hat, you son of a bitch. 456 00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:33,062 WEST: Good job, fellas. 457 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,006 You really showed me something. 458 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,717 (all gasp) 459 00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,159 Old Man West? 460 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,403 The owner of the ranch? 461 00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,180 Peter, this isn't Scooby-Doo. 462 00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:44,073 You ever notice how most Scooby-Doo villains 463 00:19:44,091 --> 00:19:45,408 are small businessmen? 464 00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,518 Who doesn't like small businessmen? 465 00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:49,595 Odd choice by the creators. 466 00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:52,097 Sorry to put you boys through the paces, 467 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,750 but I felt like you needed a little nudge 468 00:19:54,769 --> 00:19:56,268 to find your courage. 469 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:59,363 Here, Peter, you earned this. 470 00:20:02,093 --> 00:20:03,426 Thanks, Mr. Mayor. 471 00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:05,611 I'm gonna wear this hat forever. 472 00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,446 Actually, Peter, 473 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,373 the hat chooses you. 474 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,436 ♪ If you leave, I won't cry ♪ 475 00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:16,005 ♪ I won't waste one single day. ♪ 476 00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:23,779 Oh, it's good to have you home, Peter. 477 00:20:23,798 --> 00:20:24,947 Thanks. 478 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,331 The ranch was nice, 479 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,041 but I think the big lesson here 480 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,876 is that no experience is worth 481 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,379 -sleeping on the ground. -Oh, God, no. 482 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,716 And my groin is a raging fire from one day on a horse. 483 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,978 Kids, don't ever do things you don't normally do. 484 00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:40,312 You'll just be punished for it. 485 00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:42,815 (cackles) My blue-collar dad 486 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:45,058 is hostile to new experiences. 487 00:20:45,152 --> 00:20:47,319 -(car horn honking) -Well, that's Bonnie and Donna. 488 00:20:47,472 --> 00:20:48,579 -I have to go. -What? 489 00:20:48,731 --> 00:20:51,231 Oh, the mayor also runs a ranch for women 490 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:53,400 trying to get in touch with their femininity. 491 00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:56,479 Ladies, these grocery carts are an oath. 492 00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:58,965 Pretty sure the male version of this is better. 493 00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:02,510 I might say the same thing about Ghostbusters.