1 00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,745 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,840 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,826 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,179 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:17,683 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:21,336 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,929 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,082 --> 00:00:24,248 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,154 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:39,946 "Hey, guys, home with groceries. 11 00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,690 Could use a hand unloading." 12 00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,117 And send. 13 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,437 Now I wait for them to come out to help their dear old mom. 14 00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:49,715 -(phone chimes) -PETER: Do it yourself! 15 00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:51,508 (sighs) 16 00:00:53,612 --> 00:00:57,431 (laughter) 17 00:00:59,118 --> 00:01:01,226 Hi, sad lady. 18 00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,970 Junior, our dinner talk stays inside. 19 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,123 Hi, normal lady. 20 00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:08,625 What are you guys doing? It's Sunday. 21 00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,144 I thought husbands had to watch football all day 22 00:01:11,297 --> 00:01:12,629 or they get cancer. 23 00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,239 Today's our family fun day. 24 00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:18,135 That's right, a whole day dedicated to family and fun, 25 00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:20,320 ending in the bedroom with what I hope will be 26 00:01:20,472 --> 00:01:22,139 some back-end participation. 27 00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,065 -Hmm? -Mm-mm. 28 00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:25,567 (disappointed groan) 29 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,403 (Stewie snoring) 30 00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:29,237 (Lois grunts) 31 00:01:29,331 --> 00:01:30,589 I am so tired of this family 32 00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,816 just sitting around and doing nothing. 33 00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:34,484 The Browns are outside having fun 34 00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:35,910 while we're in here loafing around 35 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,654 like a bunch of stupid potatoes. 36 00:01:37,823 --> 00:01:41,174 Mom, I've been anonymously cyberbullied for a decade. 37 00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,660 "Stupid potato" doesn't even leave a mark. 38 00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:47,164 We need to spend some quality time together like the Browns. 39 00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:49,274 So we're doing a family fun day. 40 00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:51,593 Oh, family-free fun day sounds great. 41 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,595 No, family fun day. 42 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:54,855 Yeah, family-free fun day. 43 00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:58,508 No, Peter. Family. Fun. Day. 44 00:01:58,602 --> 00:01:59,843 (phone rings) 45 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:00,844 PETER: Yeah, I'm already at The Clam. 46 00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,329 Have fun. 47 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:09,611 All right, nothing's more fun than a family card game. 48 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,296 Now, the game is euchre. 49 00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:15,801 "Begin by separating the nines, tens, face cards and aces 50 00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:17,118 "from the rest of the deck. 51 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:20,197 "The goal is to win at least three 'tricks.' 52 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,366 "Now, if the side that fixed the trump fails 53 00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:25,144 "to get three tricks, it is said to be 'euchred.' 54 00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:28,555 "The highest trump is the jack of the trump suit, 55 00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:30,482 "called the 'right bower.' 56 00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:33,652 "Partnership-making trump wins three or four tricks 57 00:02:33,879 --> 00:02:35,061 "and earns one point. 58 00:02:35,214 --> 00:02:37,656 "Lone hand wins three or four tricks, 59 00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:40,050 "also earns one point. 60 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,995 "However, a lone hand wins five tricks, 61 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,979 "that's worth four points. 62 00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:49,242 Many euchre games are scored by rubber points, as in whist." 63 00:02:49,395 --> 00:02:52,320 Ooh, ooh. "The first side to win two games 64 00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,989 -wins the rubber." -(gunshot, thud) 65 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,734 "The dealer has the right to exchange 66 00:02:57,827 --> 00:02:59,085 any turned-up card..." 67 00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,087 Oh, my God, it's the same. 68 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,089 "If the face-up card is a jack, 69 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,683 -it's considered bad luck for..." -(gunshot, thud) 70 00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:08,261 "After two rounds, if no trump suit has been declared 71 00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:10,522 "and the 'stick-the-dealer' rule is not in effect, 72 00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:13,433 then the cards are collected and reshuffled." 73 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,843 ANNOUNCER: Family Guy is brought to you by contract bridge. 74 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,604 Way simpler than euchre. 75 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:20,199 You see, in contract bridge, each player is dealt 13 cards 76 00:03:20,426 --> 00:03:22,259 from a standard 52-card deck. 77 00:03:22,277 --> 00:03:23,851 A trick starts when a player leads, 78 00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:25,687 i.e. plays the first card. 79 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,124 The leader to the first trick is determined by the auction. 80 00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,437 So, what do you think, gang? 81 00:03:33,455 --> 00:03:35,789 I thought it could be a fun family activity 82 00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,791 if we had a make-your-own-pizza night. 83 00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:39,292 Or we could order Domino's. 84 00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:41,778 No, come on, this'll be fun. 85 00:03:41,797 --> 00:03:43,222 Everyone gets their own crust, 86 00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:47,133 and you can choose from any of the items I put out, huh? 87 00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:51,121 It could be olives, it could be peppers. 88 00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:54,566 And for the risk takers, I even put out some pineapple. 89 00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:57,827 You can put anything you want on your pizza. 90 00:03:57,829 --> 00:04:01,481 Yeah, I'm putting a Domino's pizza on my pizza. 91 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,633 ANNOUNCER: Domino's-- we're both terrible 92 00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:05,619 and better than your pizza. 93 00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:12,325 Ah, this is nice, huh? 94 00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:14,644 Oh, it's so good to get the whole family 95 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,981 out of the house and see Quahog from a different perspective. 96 00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,816 It's a little tight. 97 00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:23,153 -(heat jet whooshes) -So, how'd you get into hot-air ballooning? 98 00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:25,155 They don't do background checks. 99 00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:28,934 Oh. What are we flying over now? 100 00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,418 My ex-wife's house. 101 00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:34,164 If you have any garbage or little bags of cat poo, 102 00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,090 you can drop them now. 103 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:40,261 Did you know restraining orders only go side to side? 104 00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:42,698 They don't go up and down. 105 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,953 Well, there's got to be one thing we can all 106 00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,513 enjoy together as a family. 107 00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:51,515 You know, I think we're trying too hard. 108 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,274 When I was a kid we did movie nights, 109 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,685 and it was the Holy Grail of family fun. 110 00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:58,188 -I'd watch a movie -I'd watch a porn movie. 111 00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,631 No, a family movie. 112 00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,449 I'd watch a MILF porn movie. 113 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,969 Okay, technically that's accurate, but no porn. 114 00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:06,863 All right, let's fire up Amazon or Netflix. 115 00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:08,122 No streaming services. 116 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,624 They've ruined how we watch movies. 117 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,035 I'm talking about an old-school movie night 118 00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,961 where we rent one from Blockbuster. 119 00:05:14,056 --> 00:05:16,373 Some of my best childhood memories were when 120 00:05:16,391 --> 00:05:18,208 I went to rent a video with my dad. 121 00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,709 Him and I never really got along, 122 00:05:19,728 --> 00:05:22,321 but the one place where we did was Blockbuster. 123 00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,714 He'd let me pick out any snack I wanted 124 00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:26,550 while he grabbed our fifth-choice movie 125 00:05:26,643 --> 00:05:28,643 because we got there too late to get the good ones. 126 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,903 But that was part of it, 127 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,312 because it wasn't about the movie, 128 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,390 it was about the night you spent together. 129 00:05:33,408 --> 00:05:35,500 I think renting a movie's a great idea. 130 00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,501 Let's do it. 131 00:05:36,728 --> 00:05:37,819 So it's settled. 132 00:05:37,913 --> 00:05:38,986 The Griffins are making it 133 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,339 a Blockbuster night. 134 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,083 When we get there, I'll give you 20 bucks to say, 135 00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:45,761 "I've heard Magic Mike is good." 136 00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,834 Huh. This used to be the Blockbuster. 137 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,928 Oh, man, it's gone. 138 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,079 Were you also looking for... 139 00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:58,081 Very tall prostitute, yes. 140 00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,416 Is that what you were going to say? 141 00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:02,027 She used to hang out here-- hands like a palm leaf. 142 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:05,346 She would do sex but also help with light bulbs and stuff. 143 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,033 I think her name was Phillip. 144 00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,535 I see some of my students in your car. 145 00:06:10,687 --> 00:06:12,454 That's good for me. 146 00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:14,781 I'm sure there's one still open. 147 00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,116 I'll just google it. 148 00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:19,603 Eh, I got to type in my code 'cause I got too fat 149 00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:22,714 -for the facial recognition to work. -Brutal. 150 00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,774 Oh, good. See? There is one still open. 151 00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:27,293 GPS VOICE: Drive north for a quarter of a mile, 152 00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,554 then turn left onto Highway 20. 153 00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:32,966 Continue straight for 2,980 miles. 154 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,208 -What?! -Oh, yeah. 155 00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:35,969 The last Blockbuster in existence 156 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,621 is in Bend, Oregon. 157 00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:40,381 Did I not say that? Strap in, everybody, 158 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,734 the Griffins are going on a road trip. 159 00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:45,720 Well, it looks like the family Griffin 160 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,616 is headed off down Holiday Road. 161 00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:58,232 And Lindsey Buckingham has said no. 162 00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,826 Well, that's all right. 163 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:01,903 I reckon, if you're a man named Lindsey, 164 00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,214 you don't get to call the shots very often. 165 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,504 Peter, this is crazy. 166 00:07:11,657 --> 00:07:15,082 We can't drive 3,000 miles just to rent a movie. 167 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,268 Would you please turn around? 168 00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:18,678 Lois, the whole family fun thing was your idea. 169 00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,513 Don't get mad at me 'cause I'm following through. 170 00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:23,257 But I only have one pair of underwear. 171 00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,684 Oh, that's not a problem. I got tons of 172 00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:25,944 women's underwear in the back. 173 00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:28,095 (chuckles): Why, why do you have that? 174 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,189 Tons of it. 175 00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,432 Don't we have a say in all this, Dad? 176 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,285 Yeah, we don't want to drive all the way to Oregon. 177 00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:34,953 Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys. 178 00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:36,362 We're gonna see the whole country, 179 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,514 like we're in one of those 180 00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:39,683 Bruce Springsteen Jeep commercials. 181 00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:42,686 SPRINGSTEEN: America is made up of a lot of states. 182 00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:46,022 Some of them really stink, but some of them don't stink. 183 00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,115 -(alarmed mooing) -So buy a Jeep. 184 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,802 They flip easy, but you'll be okay. 185 00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:52,762 Probably be okay. 186 00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,716 One of the perks of a cross-country trip 187 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,703 is stopping for a meal and meeting the friendly folks 188 00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:02,872 who make up the heart and soul of our country. 189 00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,966 Hello, we're from the Northeast. 190 00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:08,069 (dramatic music playing) 191 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,990 Okay, then. 192 00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:14,618 (whispering): We'll do 55 pancakes to go. 193 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,207 (squawking): Trump! 194 00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:23,293 -Trump! -Trump! 195 00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:25,653 -Trump. -Trump. 196 00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:27,731 -Trump! -Trump! -Trump! 197 00:08:27,749 --> 00:08:29,007 -Trump! Trump! -Trump! 198 00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:30,825 -Trump! -Trump! -Trump! 199 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,010 -Trump! -Trump! 200 00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:34,387 (overlapping squawking) 201 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,076 -Trump! -Trump! -Trump... 202 00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:42,354 (squawking continues) 203 00:08:49,012 --> 00:08:51,271 (sighs) I'm not getting any service. 204 00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:52,772 -Where are we? -Hey, I don't know. 205 00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:55,534 But we can figure it out by which radio stations come in. 206 00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:57,427 (static) 207 00:08:57,445 --> 00:09:00,872 MAN (on radio): You're listening to G-U-N-S AM radio. 208 00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:03,266 All guns all the time. 209 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:05,268 -Is the caller there? -(three rapid gunshots) 210 00:09:05,287 --> 00:09:07,120 Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more. 211 00:09:07,272 --> 00:09:08,788 Sounds like we're somewhere between 212 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,123 Washington and Washington. 213 00:09:10,275 --> 00:09:12,609 Well, we got to almost be there, right? 214 00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:13,868 A few more hours. 215 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,111 Trust me, it'll all be worth it 216 00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,796 once we walk into that store. 217 00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:18,281 Plus, I'll be able to finally return 218 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,041 this copy of Ladyhawke. 219 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,544 You remembered to rewind that, right? 220 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,430 (all screaming) 221 00:09:25,657 --> 00:09:27,624 ♪ ♪ 222 00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:30,402 (rewinding noise) 223 00:09:30,553 --> 00:09:33,446 ♪ ♪ 224 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,968 You know what I'm thinking, Peter? 225 00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,987 Instead of going to Blockbuster, we drive right into 226 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,747 the first pond we see. 227 00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:44,749 It'll be a quicker death than this trip. 228 00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,460 Guys, look. 229 00:09:50,332 --> 00:09:53,316 Ah! Oh, my God, it's real. 230 00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:55,176 We made it. 231 00:09:58,673 --> 00:10:00,765 Well, I suppose I should be the responsible one 232 00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,326 and release all the car farts. 233 00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:04,677 (flatulence) 234 00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:07,513 You're free now. Go. 235 00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:11,851 (flatulence) 236 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,519 I said go! 237 00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:16,022 (flatulence) 238 00:10:16,174 --> 00:10:18,533 (sobbing) 239 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,852 Here it is, guys. 240 00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:31,278 This is where kids would come every Friday night 241 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,189 and see their teacher wearing jeans. 242 00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:36,283 Dad, who's Christian Slater? 243 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,471 Some actors never made it out of Blockbuster, Chris. 244 00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,473 (insects trilling) 245 00:10:43,368 --> 00:10:44,868 Sliver. Fun movie. 246 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,961 Yeah, it's Sharon Stone, so it's nudity 247 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,521 moms will put up with. 248 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,376 Hmm, it looks like you have a late fee for Ladyhawke. 249 00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,803 Ah, no problem. How much is it? 250 00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:59,716 $32,419. 251 00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:03,161 Look, uh, we traveled a really long way to get here, 252 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,646 and I kind of promised my family a movie night. 253 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,408 Oh. Then the plot just got interesting. 254 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,168 Where are you on your journey? 255 00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:11,670 About the end of act two? 256 00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,579 I read a lot of screenplay books. 257 00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,748 There's got to be some way we can work this out. 258 00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:18,492 Sorry, but we're pretty strict about our late fees. 259 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,513 We kind of blew up our whole company for 'em. 260 00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,740 So, no money, no rental. 261 00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:25,742 Uh, $32,000, you say? 262 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,062 I don't have that on my person. 263 00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:35,768 ♪ Hands ♪ 264 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:39,923 ♪ Touching hands ♪ 265 00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:42,492 ♪ Reaching out ♪ 266 00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:46,020 ♪ Touching me ♪ 267 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,280 ♪ Touching you. ♪ 268 00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:50,041 Ah, here it comes. All together now... 269 00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:52,435 -Drive, Lois, drive! -(turns radio off) 270 00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:55,046 (tires screech) 271 00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,107 Nothing worse than a case 272 00:11:58,201 --> 00:11:59,634 of Neil Diamond blue balls. Am I right? 273 00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:11,045 Peter, just pull over. 274 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,122 We can talk to them and figure this out. 275 00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:15,308 No. A high-speed chase is preferred 276 00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:18,144 -over small talk with an employee. Aah! -(gunshot) 277 00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:20,221 I hear Magic Mike is good. 278 00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:22,465 Way too late, dude. 279 00:12:22,484 --> 00:12:24,650 -(tires screeching) -(gunshots) 280 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:25,910 I can lose these guys. 281 00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:28,321 Chris, pour me out a handful of those Runts. 282 00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:30,731 How's eating candy gonna help us? 283 00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:32,992 Runts are the hardest candy in the world. 284 00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:35,462 They're not for eating, they're for hucking. 285 00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:39,332 -(both cry out) -(tires screech) 286 00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:41,408 Meg, there's a stack of posters in the back. 287 00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,669 We can throw 'em out the car and blind 'em. 288 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,412 Just run the posters by me first. 289 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,914 -Judge Dredd? -Nah, keep that one. 290 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,157 I want to put it in the basement. 291 00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:49,325 -Cool World? -Keep. 292 00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:50,918 - Milk Money? -Uh, keep. 293 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,103 These are all terrible movies. 294 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,189 Just throw one out. 295 00:12:56,501 --> 00:12:57,942 You know, that movie still holds up. 296 00:12:58,094 --> 00:12:59,611 It didn't hold up then. 297 00:12:59,762 --> 00:13:01,529 (both crying out) 298 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,358 (sighs) It worked. We lost them. 299 00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:09,120 Yes! No one ruins a Griffin family fun day. 300 00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:11,122 Who wants a turnaround high five? 301 00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:12,457 Dad, watch the road! 302 00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:15,043 (all screaming) 303 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,447 (gasps) Is everyone okay? 304 00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:21,949 I swallowed my retainer, 305 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,527 but I'll do a little stool fishing later. 306 00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:27,597 -(engine not turning over) -(gunshots) 307 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,226 Oh, they're still after us. We got to run. 308 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,655 (shotguns pump) 309 00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:46,065 Give up. We got you. It's over. 310 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,067 Well, actually it's not. 311 00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:51,070 I think this might be the "all is lost" moment. 312 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,222 -What? -You know, it seems over 313 00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,558 because there's an insurmountable obstacle 314 00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,335 in their way, but instead of giving up, 315 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,336 they double down. 316 00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:00,672 -Lois, we got to jump. -See? 317 00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:02,006 The fall will kill us. 318 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,958 I've seen Rambo jump from higher. 319 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,511 I think if we jump it'll cut to that scene. 320 00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:07,828 Peter, that's crazy. 321 00:14:07,922 --> 00:14:08,829 Do you trust me? 322 00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:09,922 -No! -(grunts) 323 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,475 ♪ ♪ 324 00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:19,357 (branches snapping) 325 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,605 Oh, what the hell? 326 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,423 (Griffins grunting) 327 00:14:27,442 --> 00:14:29,942 ♪ ♪ 328 00:14:30,019 --> 00:14:32,078 (branches snapping) 329 00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:38,710 (all grunting) 330 00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,546 -I told you. -I know. 331 00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:43,106 Peter Griffin, PhD. 332 00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,865 Petty, heavy dope. 333 00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,885 Wow, she really had that locked and loaded. 334 00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:48,702 This is crazy. Those guys are trying to kill us 335 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,054 because of a late movie. 336 00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:51,280 We should just call the police. 337 00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,090 Oh, look who's already walking back 338 00:14:53,317 --> 00:14:54,951 their "Defund the Police" stance. 339 00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,302 Little different when it's real life 340 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,213 and not trying to impress Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm? 341 00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:02,125 Oh, this is not good. It's gonna get dark soon. 342 00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:03,568 -We need a plan. -Don't worry. 343 00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:04,903 We can hike back to the car 344 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,220 and call for help from the road. 345 00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:07,630 We're gonna get through this. 346 00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:08,814 Now, before we head off, 347 00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,224 I'm gonna divvy out our rations. 348 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,226 I'll start with this pack of Starbursts. 349 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,580 There's pink for you, orange for you, red for me, 350 00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:19,400 yellow for you, pink for you, red for me... 351 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,310 You keep giving yourself all the reds. 352 00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,237 It's just completely random. I'm just going in order. 353 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,405 I can't help where I'm standing. 354 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,649 Okay, where was I? Yellow for Chris, 355 00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:28,426 -red for me... -You did it again. 356 00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,411 Okay, y-you know, I tried being fair, 357 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,655 but now I'm just gonna lick all the reds. 358 00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:35,658 Now they have to be mine. Next food-- Spree. 359 00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:39,520 Green for you, orange for you, red for me! 360 00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,020 I think we're lost. 361 00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,689 We're gonna die out here. 362 00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:51,432 Guys, we can't give up now. 363 00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:53,192 We can and I shall. 364 00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:56,103 I'm gonna close my eyes and go to my happy place, 365 00:15:56,197 --> 00:15:59,606 being screamed at by children while playing Fortnite. 366 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,609 No, your mom's a whore. 367 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,278 Wait, guys, look. 368 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,965 I think I see a cabin. 369 00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:13,212 It is a cabin. We're saved. 370 00:16:13,364 --> 00:16:15,715 You can't say that word, Brayden. 371 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,226 None of you can say that word. 372 00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:22,146 (door creaks) 373 00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:27,893 Look, there's a radio. We can... 374 00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:29,545 Watch Sliver on that VCR. 375 00:16:29,638 --> 00:16:32,048 What? No. We need to call for help. 376 00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:33,157 We can do both. 377 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,142 I am not gonna give up on this movie night 378 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,902 like we gave up on our marriage. 379 00:16:36,979 --> 00:16:39,480 Four therapy sessions is enough to know where it's headed. 380 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,225 There's a map on the wall with government buildings 381 00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:43,851 connected by strings. 382 00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,003 Look, I know this hasn't been 383 00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,487 the easiest couple of days, guys, 384 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,156 but it'll all be worth it once I put this tape in. 385 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,876 I present to you Sliver. 386 00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:54,070 And it's Sliders, season two. 387 00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,597 Classic Blockbuster blunder. 388 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,668 Oh, good. You numbskulls put the wrong movie in here. 389 00:17:01,763 --> 00:17:02,836 I want a refund. 390 00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:04,838 Everybody outside now. 391 00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:06,173 I can't believe this. 392 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,342 All I was trying to do was have a nice movie night 393 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,087 with my family, and you guys keep ruining it. 394 00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:14,348 Wow, this is very similar to a screenplay I wrote. 395 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,201 This guy is too into movies. 396 00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:18,761 Remember, the one I had you read 397 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:21,781 that was like Love Actually meets Independence Day? 398 00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:23,875 Uh, yeah, sure, I remember. 399 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:26,026 -You didn't read it? -I'm gonna. 400 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,363 Don't be mad at me. Be mad at, you know, these guys. 401 00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:31,791 I'm sorry, kids, all I wanted to do 402 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,718 was something special with you guys. 403 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,945 That one thing you'd remember doing with me 404 00:17:35,963 --> 00:17:38,464 for the rest of your lives, but I failed. 405 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,801 Another failure in a long string of failures. 406 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,302 Are you kidding, Dad? 407 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,472 -This has been the most exciting day ever. -It has? 408 00:17:46,624 --> 00:17:50,142 Yeah. We left the house three days ago to rent a movie 409 00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:52,461 and now we're in the middle of the woods in Oregon 410 00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:54,906 and might get murdered by Blockbuster guys. 411 00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,574 Like, what is this? 412 00:17:56,651 --> 00:17:58,910 Yeah, we never know what you're gonna do. 413 00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:01,304 It's usually silly or dangerous, 414 00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:03,230 but it's also kind of awesome. 415 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,308 Yeah. Remember when he had tiny arms 416 00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:07,919 -for, like, three months? -Or when he brought home that horse. 417 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,571 Or that falcon. Or that parrot. 418 00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:12,406 Lot of illegal animals. 419 00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,000 Or when that little guy lived in his neck. 420 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,986 What the hell was that? 421 00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:19,079 Every few years he fights a giant chicken 422 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,098 and destroys a city. 423 00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:22,249 No one's named a good thing yet. 424 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,660 You had a blimp with your face on it. 425 00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:27,179 Your mother put me on pills after I bought that. 426 00:18:27,332 --> 00:18:29,682 You see, Dad, we don't need a movie night 427 00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,183 for us to remember you. 428 00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:34,320 Every day is like a movie night with you. 429 00:18:38,176 --> 00:18:40,343 Well, I guess Mom knew what she was doing 430 00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,028 when she insisted on family fun day. 431 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,514 Super sweet moment, guys. 432 00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:47,850 I'm gonna assume this was all a callback 433 00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:49,127 to something in act one. 434 00:18:49,278 --> 00:18:52,505 Time to go outside now. 435 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,302 Guys, please, I'm the one with the late fees. 436 00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,713 Don't hurt my family. I'll do anything. 437 00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:04,049 Well, I have this screenplay, it-it's an epic sci-fi, 438 00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:06,477 and it's mostly stage directions where they... 439 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,687 Just kill us! 440 00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:09,814 (all gasp) 441 00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,108 What the hell?! 442 00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,029 (both grunt) 443 00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:31,502 Amazon drones? You saved us. 444 00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:36,174 Once again a streaming service annihilates a Blockbuster. 445 00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,249 Wa-boosh. 446 00:19:37,402 --> 00:19:39,585 How did you even know we were here? 447 00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:43,255 DRONE: Based on your recent purchases, viewing habits and stored data, 448 00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:45,016 we determined that you were being chased 449 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,833 through the wilderness by the last two 450 00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,761 Blockbuster employees on Earth. 451 00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,246 Wow. Scary. 452 00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,523 I owe you an apology, Amazon. 453 00:19:52,675 --> 00:19:54,934 You're a pretty amazing service after all. 454 00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:59,104 DRONE 2: Yes, I agree. Amazon workers should not unionize. 455 00:19:59,257 --> 00:20:00,364 I-I didn't-- I didn't say that. 456 00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,942 Well, they sure can play dumb when they want to. 457 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,110 Please stop spying on us, Alexa. 458 00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:07,354 Okay. Playing holiday music now. 459 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:11,209 ♪ And since we've no place to go ♪ 460 00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:15,087 ♪ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. ♪ 461 00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:23,370 Well, that Blockbuster adventure sure was fun, 462 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,038 but we should probably just watch movies 463 00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,206 at home from now on. 464 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,874 You know, Dad, while we were flying home, 465 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,636 I did order something special for you. 466 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,047 Sliver! We can still do our old-school movie night. 467 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,566 I'll hook up the VCR. 468 00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:39,403 Aw, damn it, we can't watch it. 469 00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:40,905 I don't have the right adaptor cable. 470 00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:42,907 The last Circuit City in the U.S. 471 00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,801 is in St. Augustine, Florida. 472 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,138 -Let's go. -(all cheer) 473 00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:50,806 PETER (over Echo): I'll start the car. 474 00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:53,325 (chuckles) Looks like the Griffins are at it again. 475 00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,812 Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos, and I'm rich and bald. 476 00:20:56,905 --> 00:20:59,632 Guess which one matters. Good night.