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00:00:01,582 --> 00:00:04,900
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,918 --> 00:00:07,827
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:07,996 --> 00:00:11,682
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,833 --> 00:00:14,259
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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The usual, fellas?
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Hey, thanks, Jerome.
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Whoa, Jerome,
what's with the wheelchair?
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Well, it was date night
with my lady friend.
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I put on some Teddy Pendergrass,
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one thing led to another,
and we started making love
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halfway up the stairs.
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Then I lost my footing
and tumbled down half a flight,
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buck naked.
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Well, this is hardly
dinner conversation.
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Who's Teddy Pendergrass?
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He's America's number one cause
of urgent lovemaking injuries.
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If you're not already in bed
when Teddy starts singing,
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somebody's going to the E.R.
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Anyway, I busted my knee
really bad,
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so here I am.
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Aw, geez, that stinks, Jerome.
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How long you gonna be
in that chair?
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Well, that's the problem.
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The doctor said I need surgery
if I'm ever gonna walk again,
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but I can't afford it. (sighs)
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Man, I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
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I've got to get up
on my feet again.
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Relax, it's not so bad.
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I bet you're gonna discover
some cool new things
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that you couldn't do
when you were walking.
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-Like what?
-Well, have you yelled
at someone
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for using
the handicapped stall yet?
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That stall is for the
differently-abled, you know.
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Well, how do you know it's not
a handicapped person in there?
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Look, no chair, no crutches.
Whoever's in there
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definitely shouldn't be!
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Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
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Yeah, sure you are.
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Hey, you mind flushing
for me, pal?
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No arms over here.
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Well, I suppose
it's the least I could do.
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Oh, my God,
it's bigger than you.
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(laughs heartily)
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Hey, can you guys
hear me all right?
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-Yep.
-Loud and clear.
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Fr... in the computer.
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What-What'd you,
what'd you say, Cleveland?
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-You're cutting in and out.
-Damn it.
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It's his crappy
Internet service.
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-What does he have?
-He hoarded a decade's worth
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of those "100 Free Hours" CDs
AOL would send in the mail.
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He's chipping away at 'em
one at a time.
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Let me... (glitching)
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(echoing): ...other room.
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All right,
we'll fill him in later.
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Look, we got to help Jerome
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pay for that surgery, you guys.
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Yeah, but where are we gonna get
that kind of money?
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Hello? Hello?
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Wait, what if we did
some sort of fundraiser?
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Donna, unplug everything.
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I need the Internet.
No, not tha...
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You know,
the local firehouse made
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a sexy men in uniform calendar,
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and it raised a ton of money.
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Don't tell anybody,
but I heard
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not all 12 of those guys
were from Quahog.
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I-- Who-who would we
tell that to?
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I don't know.
I'm just saying... don't.
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That's actually not a bad idea.
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We already got three
men in uniform.
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I'm on the roof now.
Is that bet...
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-(bird squawking)
-Bird. Bird.
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Bird stole my laptop.
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All right, now remember,
we're going for "sexy,"
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so can you undo your shirt?
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(sighs)
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There.
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(yawns)
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Joe, did you skip your nap?
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I don't need a nap!
You need a nap!
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I want to be done.
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(shaky breathing)
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(sobbing)
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Wait, Joe, Joe, look.
Look over here.
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(sniffling) Who's that?
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This is our friend Leapy.
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Hey, Joe.
Can you do me a favor?
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Okay.
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Can you be a big boy
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and unbutton your shirt
for the picture?
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(sniffles) Yeah.
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Great, we're all done.
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Now take off your pants.
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What the hell?
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I said take 'em off.
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Joe, don't listen to Leapy.
I was wrong.
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Leapy is not our friend.
(grunts)
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Yeah, that's good.
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Okay, Cleveland,
you're mostly out of shape.
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Thankfully, all postmen have
mountain climber leg muscles.
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Those will be our focus here.
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They really that strong-looking?
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It's like
a lady bodybuilder's boob.
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I'm disgusted,
but I can't look away.
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All right, let's get started.
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That's it. Now thigh me.
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There we go. Now throw that
bad boy up on the mailbox.
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Ah, you're a natural.
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You're like Gisele, Beyoncé,
and Naomi Campbell all in one.
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You're Gisonmi.
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That's it, Gisonmi.
Gisonmi, yes.
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-Gisonmi.
-Hey, guys,
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I'm just gonna go ahead
and close this, okay?
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Getting my house assessed.
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(indistinct chatter)
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-Here you go, fellas.
-Hey, Jerome.
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Great to see you back
on your feet already.
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You're telling me.
That calendar of yours
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paid for my surgery
and then some.
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Consider your tab paid up
for the whole month.
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Wow, did we really make
that much money?
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Who's buying all these?
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Yeah, I figured just our friends
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would buy 'em for a laugh.
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(laughs)
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Oh, yeah, we're having
a laugh, all right.
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Might say everybody's having
a ball, right, Mr. Brown?
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(laughter)
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What's going on here?
Give me that.
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All right, let's start
at my navel and work down.
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Belt buckled at the third notch,
per postal code regulation.
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Shorts securely zipped.
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Neatly-pressed crease
running down to--
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(gasps) my cocoa pebble!
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-Let me see that.
-Oh, yeah, that's a half-scrote
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-bad dangle angle right there.
-Oh, no,
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the whole town's seen it.
What am I gonna do?
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Damn, Mr. Brown.
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00:06:05,871 --> 00:06:08,763
Larry Bird ought to be
diving through here any second
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00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:10,374
'cause that's a loose ball.
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(laughs) Good job, sweetie.
You're doing the work.
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Aw, thanks, Dad.
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I learned it all by watching
YouTube videos of Les Dawson.
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Who the hell is that?
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00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:23,945
Uh, 1960s British comic
Les Dawson,
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famous for his
mother-in-law jokes?
153
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Geez, Spencer, do the work.
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You wanted to see me, sir?
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Cleveland,
let me ask you something.
156
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Do you have a problem
with the carrying capacity
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of your standard-issue
S-1104 canvas satchel?
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No, sir.
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I see. So then why, may I ask,
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do you feel the need
to carry around an extra sack?!
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Sir, y-you don't understand.
It was a mistake.
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You're damn right it was.
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Your little mistake
has made a complete mockery
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00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:06,488
of the United States
Postal Service.
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This is a noble institution
that runs on dignity.
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That's the reason
people trusted us to deliver
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00:07:12,679 --> 00:07:16,514
free COVID tests several months
after it was relevant.
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-But, sir, I...
-No buts, Cleveland.
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You've left me no choice.
You're fired.
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Now turn in your safari hat
and your ladies' Mace.
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This is terrible.
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I have such a hard time
saying goodbye.
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Guh-buh-buh.
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Gah-bre-aye.
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(babbling gibberish)
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Hey, chin up, Cleveland. I know
you'll miss being a fireman.
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-Mailman.
-Mm-hmm.
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That job meant everything to me.
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00:07:48,699 --> 00:07:51,199
And what about
all the people on my route?
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There's gonna be a riot
when my regulars
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find out I've been replaced.
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-Hi.
-Hi.
183
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Huh. Mail before noon.
184
00:08:00,969 --> 00:08:02,877
So, Cleveland,
how's the job hunt going?
185
00:08:03,046 --> 00:08:06,548
I can't even start till that
damn bird brings my laptop back.
186
00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:08,975
I wonder what
he even uses it for.
187
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♪ ♪
188
00:08:14,224 --> 00:08:17,075
Wow! Is that
a third lead guitar?
189
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:19,002
Let me know
in the comments, guys.
190
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(sighs) Oh, who am I kidding?
You can't replace
191
00:08:22,341 --> 00:08:25,083
working for the
United States Postal Service.
192
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I miss it already.
193
00:08:27,254 --> 00:08:29,012
Oh, I feel useless.
194
00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:31,181
Come on, Cleveland. You've been
moping around all week.
195
00:08:31,332 --> 00:08:32,423
You know what?
Why don't you swing by
196
00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:34,184
the brewery tomorrow?
I'll buy you lunch.
197
00:08:34,335 --> 00:08:36,928
Did you say an insensitive joke
and now need to prove
198
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,097
to everyone that you have
a Black friend?
199
00:08:39,266 --> 00:08:40,982
See you there, buddy.
200
00:08:49,684 --> 00:08:52,685
Thanks for letting me tag along
at the brewery, Peter.
201
00:08:52,779 --> 00:08:54,854
Feels good to have
some routine again.
202
00:08:54,948 --> 00:08:56,856
Ah, crap, look at the line.
203
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:59,117
Gonna take me forever
to get to the microwave.
204
00:08:59,269 --> 00:09:01,102
Peter, you have a salad.
205
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:02,954
Yeah, now I'm gonna
have to eat it cold.
206
00:09:03,106 --> 00:09:04,548
How am I supposed
to work all day
207
00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:06,866
without a belly full
of hot salad?
208
00:09:06,885 --> 00:09:08,367
Griffin.
209
00:09:08,387 --> 00:09:09,961
What the hell is going on?
210
00:09:10,113 --> 00:09:11,296
We've got a dozen
delivery trucks
211
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:13,281
that are days behind schedule.
212
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:15,207
I've got distributors
lighting up my phone
213
00:09:15,227 --> 00:09:16,634
like a Christmas phone.
214
00:09:16,711 --> 00:09:18,787
I have a twinkly phone
for the holidays.
215
00:09:18,805 --> 00:09:20,080
It's incredibly festive.
216
00:09:20,082 --> 00:09:21,973
You know, I used
to deliver the mail,
217
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:24,976
so I know a thing or two
about getting around town.
218
00:09:25,128 --> 00:09:27,720
Mind if this goose
takes a gander?
219
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:29,631
Hmm, well, for starters,
220
00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:31,074
you've got your
downtown deliveries
221
00:09:31,225 --> 00:09:33,635
scheduled for
Wednesday morning, but...
222
00:09:33,728 --> 00:09:34,986
that's when the
street sweepers come around
223
00:09:35,063 --> 00:09:36,487
and hog the right lane.
224
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,824
You switch to the afternoon,
you'll be done in half the time.
225
00:09:39,976 --> 00:09:42,310
The street sweepers, of course.
226
00:09:42,403 --> 00:09:43,587
What about the other deliveries?
227
00:09:43,738 --> 00:09:46,147
Well, no wonder your
eastbound trucks are late.
228
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:49,000
That stretch of highway's been
under construction for weeks.
229
00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:50,910
That's why all
the mail trucks use...
230
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,138
♪ ♪
231
00:09:56,584 --> 00:09:58,660
What a beautiful mind.
232
00:09:58,678 --> 00:10:00,328
Oh, I didn't see that movie.
233
00:10:00,347 --> 00:10:02,272
I only go to Spider-Mans.
234
00:10:02,499 --> 00:10:04,423
♪ ♪
235
00:10:04,443 --> 00:10:06,501
...last stop
right across the river.
236
00:10:06,519 --> 00:10:08,111
You got the toll bridge
in the way, but,
237
00:10:08,338 --> 00:10:11,097
nine times out of ten, the
bridge guy's watching TikToks.
238
00:10:11,116 --> 00:10:12,949
You just drive around,
he don't know.
239
00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:16,453
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
What's your name?
240
00:10:16,604 --> 00:10:18,121
Cleveland Brown, sir.
241
00:10:18,272 --> 00:10:20,181
Mr. Brown, this operation
242
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,959
could certainly use a man
with your expertise.
243
00:10:23,186 --> 00:10:25,536
How would you like a job here
at the Pawtucket Brewery?
244
00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:27,355
Really? All right!
245
00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:29,540
Excellent. You start tomorrow.
246
00:10:29,635 --> 00:10:32,284
-Hey, way to go, Cleveland.
-Thanks, Peter.
247
00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:35,046
Tonight, me and Donna
are gonna celebrate,
248
00:10:35,198 --> 00:10:36,698
romantically.
249
00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:38,958
And which Teddy Pendergrass
song was playing?
250
00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:40,869
"Turn Out the Lights."
251
00:10:40,887 --> 00:10:42,887
Sir, ma'am,
252
00:10:43,039 --> 00:10:46,024
you're both lucky to be alive.
253
00:10:49,546 --> 00:10:51,713
All right, working
with my best friend.
254
00:10:51,731 --> 00:10:53,047
This is gonna be sweet.
255
00:10:53,141 --> 00:10:55,492
Just a heads up,
I chew ice all day long,
256
00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:58,052
and my computer goes "bonk"
every three seconds.
257
00:10:58,071 --> 00:10:59,829
I hope that doesn't bother you.
258
00:10:59,981 --> 00:11:01,723
(munching)
259
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:03,833
-(computer makes error sound)
-That's the bonk.
260
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:06,244
Yeah, uh,
you, you think you could
261
00:11:06,396 --> 00:11:07,987
keep the noise down, Peter?
262
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:09,989
It is my first day, after all,
263
00:11:10,066 --> 00:11:12,233
and I want to get
some work done.
264
00:11:12,252 --> 00:11:13,735
Tell you what, you can do
all the work you want
265
00:11:13,753 --> 00:11:18,014
right after we take turns
telling scary work stories.
266
00:11:19,851 --> 00:11:21,667
It was a night just like this.
267
00:11:21,761 --> 00:11:24,871
And when the moon is full,
if you close your eyes,
268
00:11:24,931 --> 00:11:26,931
you can still hear her voice.
269
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,508
(whispers):
"Will you sponsor me
270
00:11:29,528 --> 00:11:31,419
for my 5K?"
271
00:11:31,421 --> 00:11:34,422
Dang it, Peter. This is work,
not a sleepover.
272
00:11:34,441 --> 00:11:36,424
Now would you please
get out of here?
273
00:11:36,426 --> 00:11:38,426
My 10:00 meeting
is about to start.
274
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:41,187
Your meeting? But I thought
we were gonna work together.
275
00:11:41,264 --> 00:11:44,874
Yeah, well, I thought
I'd tackle this one on my own.
276
00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:48,211
But maybe you can
get us some coffee?
277
00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:51,881
-(muffled chatter)
-CLEVELAND: ...touch base...
278
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:53,608
-(muffled chatter)
-...circle back...
279
00:11:53,701 --> 00:11:55,385
-(muffled chatter)
-...put a pin in it...
280
00:11:55,536 --> 00:11:57,721
-(muffled chatter)
-...but that's Monday's problem.
281
00:11:57,872 --> 00:11:59,723
(laughter)
282
00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:05,729
-(truck beeping)
-Wait a minute,
283
00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,623
these shipments should have
gone out already. Hey, Peter.
284
00:12:08,716 --> 00:12:11,550
All these trucks were supposed
to be on the road hours ago.
285
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:13,719
Did you make any changes
to my schedule?
286
00:12:13,813 --> 00:12:15,221
No. Oh, you know what?
287
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,131
Yeah, I added
a new rule for safety.
288
00:12:17,225 --> 00:12:18,983
The guys were slapping the back
of the truck two times
289
00:12:19,135 --> 00:12:20,076
when it was all loaded up,
290
00:12:20,228 --> 00:12:21,986
but then Smitty got
his foot run over,
291
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,290
so now I told 'em to do
200 slaps, just to be safe.
292
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:37,594
-How many was that?
-DRIVER: Uh, 35? 40?
293
00:12:37,745 --> 00:12:40,263
I can't tell, we got, like,
six other slappers going.
294
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,601
Griffin, what's going on?
295
00:12:44,752 --> 00:12:47,419
All of our weekly shipments
are late, again.
296
00:12:47,439 --> 00:12:50,273
Mr. Lloyd, I think
we can get back on track
297
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,941
if we just optimize
our load outs.
298
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:54,260
See, back in my mailman days,
299
00:12:54,279 --> 00:12:56,762
we would pre-sort our deliveries
by destination.
300
00:12:56,931 --> 00:12:58,856
If we bundle the inventory
by invoice
301
00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:00,266
rather than by product type,
302
00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:02,693
it'll expedite the delivery
out on the road.
303
00:13:02,788 --> 00:13:05,771
My goodness, why haven't we
been doing that all along?
304
00:13:05,832 --> 00:13:07,773
Cleveland,
you've proven yourself
305
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:09,626
invaluable to this organization.
306
00:13:09,777 --> 00:13:12,778
I'm hereby promoting you to
Vice Executive Managing Director
307
00:13:12,798 --> 00:13:14,613
in Charge of Lengthy Titles.
308
00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:16,374
Wow, thank you, sir.
309
00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:18,158
Hey, good for you, Cleveland.
310
00:13:18,286 --> 00:13:20,303
Good for all of us.
Good for this department.
311
00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:21,787
And as for you, Griffin,
312
00:13:21,807 --> 00:13:25,199
I need you to clear your things
out of your office.
313
00:13:25,218 --> 00:13:27,143
Cleveland is going
to need more room
314
00:13:27,295 --> 00:13:28,812
to perform
his managerial duties.
315
00:13:28,963 --> 00:13:30,146
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute,
316
00:13:30,373 --> 00:13:32,631
you're kicking me out
of my own office? (chuckles)
317
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,560
You're not, uh, you're not
replacing me, are you?
318
00:13:35,654 --> 00:13:37,562
Oh, no, we're just doing
319
00:13:37,656 --> 00:13:39,730
a little... restructuring.
320
00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:42,717
Besides, you won't need an
office for your new assignment.
321
00:13:42,735 --> 00:13:45,144
I'm putting you in charge
of kitchen banter.
322
00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:47,905
What you got there?
Little jet fuel?
323
00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:50,149
Little java?
Little jitter juice?
324
00:13:50,168 --> 00:13:52,060
I'll take a top-off,
if you don't mind.
325
00:13:52,078 --> 00:13:54,612
Yeah, don't talk to me
till I've had my coffee, right?
326
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:57,507
(long sip)
327
00:13:57,658 --> 00:14:00,234
Hey, how come you were
only pregnant for four months?
328
00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,678
-PRESTON: Griffin.
-Sorry, it's my first day.
329
00:14:07,335 --> 00:14:10,745
Look, I know this is awkward,
celebrating Cleveland
330
00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:12,096
getting promoted over you,
331
00:14:12,248 --> 00:14:14,265
so we don't have to stay long
if you don't want.
332
00:14:14,342 --> 00:14:16,342
Eh, it's one night,
I'll be fine.
333
00:14:16,394 --> 00:14:18,920
Wait, Peter, where's the bottle
of wine I told you to bring?
334
00:14:19,013 --> 00:14:21,272
Cleveland makes more money
than me now, Lois.
335
00:14:21,424 --> 00:14:23,349
That means we're sneaking
groceries out of this party,
336
00:14:23,368 --> 00:14:24,792
not bringing 'em in.
337
00:14:24,794 --> 00:14:26,685
Can you fit ketchup
in that purse? We're all out.
338
00:14:26,705 --> 00:14:28,654
Damn it. We can't show up
to a dinner party
339
00:14:28,707 --> 00:14:32,433
without a $14 empty gesture.
It's improper.
340
00:14:32,452 --> 00:14:34,285
We need to give them something.
341
00:14:34,379 --> 00:14:36,938
Fine. Here.
342
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:39,716
-(doorbell rings)
-We brought these.
343
00:14:39,792 --> 00:14:41,125
-Oh.
-What?
344
00:14:41,277 --> 00:14:43,628
It's... (sighs) It's nothing.
345
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:46,872
I guess I just miss being
the one handing out the mail.
346
00:14:46,892 --> 00:14:50,134
I'm sorry, they're lovely.
347
00:14:50,228 --> 00:14:53,879
(sniffs) Mm. That Lands' End
lady-pants catalog
348
00:14:53,973 --> 00:14:55,973
had quite a bloom this year.
349
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:58,384
-♪ ♪
-(indistinct chatter)
350
00:14:58,403 --> 00:15:01,437
Then I said, "Ain't that
the punch line to an anecdote."
351
00:15:01,589 --> 00:15:03,297
(laughter)
352
00:15:03,391 --> 00:15:04,890
So, what does
this promotion mean?
353
00:15:04,910 --> 00:15:06,150
Are you, like, Peter's boss now?
354
00:15:06,244 --> 00:15:08,060
We're all on the same team.
355
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:09,561
Ah, that means yes.
356
00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:12,582
Hey, Cleveland, how about
a quick speech for our guests?
357
00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:14,900
GUESTS:
Yeah, speech, speech!
358
00:15:14,978 --> 00:15:17,069
Or maybe just cover it
in a group text later.
359
00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:19,163
All right, all right,
settle down.
360
00:15:19,257 --> 00:15:21,332
I'd like to thank y'all
for coming tonight
361
00:15:21,484 --> 00:15:23,834
to celebrate my new job
at the brewery.
362
00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:25,911
It ain't as good
as delivering bills,
363
00:15:25,972 --> 00:15:28,322
but it sure does pay the bills.
364
00:15:28,341 --> 00:15:29,933
(laughter)
365
00:15:30,126 --> 00:15:32,602
-What a great speech.
-He's so important now.
366
00:15:32,753 --> 00:15:35,521
Do you think it's okay
I used the upstairs bathroom?
367
00:15:38,384 --> 00:15:40,501
It was bad enough
with Mr. Lloyd thinking
368
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,337
Cleveland's better than me.
Now it's all our friends, too.
369
00:15:43,431 --> 00:15:45,114
Oh, stop feeling sorry
for yourself.
370
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:47,450
You think I'm thrilled
my husband got demoted?
371
00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:49,343
Bonnie's already rented
one of those cars
372
00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:50,845
with a loudspeaker on top.
373
00:15:50,938 --> 00:15:52,288
She's telling everyone.
374
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,790
BONNIE (over loudspeaker):
People of Spooner Street,
375
00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:55,866
Lois's husband got demoted.
376
00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:57,443
They're poorer now.
377
00:15:57,462 --> 00:16:01,022
Repeat, Lois's family
is now poorer.
378
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,873
Use this as motivation.
379
00:16:02,968 --> 00:16:04,375
Think of how good it'll feel
380
00:16:04,527 --> 00:16:06,785
to prove your friends
and Mr. Lloyd wrong.
381
00:16:06,805 --> 00:16:09,714
Now I'm gonna take
an incredibly quick lady dump.
382
00:16:09,808 --> 00:16:11,808
-Prove 'em wrong, huh?
-LOIS: Done.
383
00:16:11,977 --> 00:16:12,976
(toilet flushes)
384
00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:15,627
That's exactly what I'll do.
385
00:16:15,647 --> 00:16:17,463
I bet they won't think
Cleveland's so great
386
00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:18,889
when I get him fired.
387
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:22,801
Hey, Dad, how's it going?
Have fun at the Browns'?
388
00:16:22,821 --> 00:16:25,379
I couldn't steal the ketchup.
There were eyes on me all night.
389
00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:27,231
-Son of a bitch!
-There he is.
390
00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:30,309
-He didn't get the ketchup.
-Damn it!
391
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:33,221
STEWIE:
Hey, these chicken nuggies
are bone-dry.
392
00:16:33,239 --> 00:16:35,206
What did he say
about the ketchup?
393
00:16:43,491 --> 00:16:45,750
What's going on?
Why'd everything stop?
394
00:16:45,902 --> 00:16:49,086
Hello, I'm Inspector Daniels
from the Health Department.
395
00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:52,331
That's a backstage pass
from a Muse concert.
396
00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:54,500
Huh, I guess it is, isn't it?
397
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:56,761
I received an anonymous tip
that there's a rat
398
00:16:56,855 --> 00:16:59,280
nesting in the main beer tank.
I'm here to check it out.
399
00:16:59,282 --> 00:17:01,673
-What's this now?
-Well, I sure hope not.
400
00:17:01,693 --> 00:17:05,069
I'd lose my job if there was any
filth of that nature going on.
401
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,597
Hmm, maybe I misheard
the tipster. (chuckles)
402
00:17:16,616 --> 00:17:19,375
Yeah, ears haven't really been
the same since I saw Muse
403
00:17:19,602 --> 00:17:21,619
from basically as close
as you're allowed to get.
404
00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:22,787
I'll try him back.
405
00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:24,213
(phone rings)
406
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,290
Rat-a-tat-tat,
you've reached Peter the rat.
407
00:17:26,442 --> 00:17:27,383
-(gasps)
-(phone beeps)
408
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,219
Well, I'm sorry
someone wasted your time,
409
00:17:30,446 --> 00:17:33,447
but as you can see,
everything here is up to code.
410
00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:34,949
Have a good day.
411
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:38,377
I found your rat in the tank
during my rounds this morning.
412
00:17:38,396 --> 00:17:42,381
-Why'd you do it, Peter?
-(sighs) I'm sorry.
413
00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:44,216
It's just, with you doing
so well at the brewery,
414
00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:46,235
I felt like a joke.
415
00:17:46,387 --> 00:17:48,220
I knew I was never
gonna be a big shot here,
416
00:17:48,239 --> 00:17:51,557
but I liked playing my small
part to help make this beer.
417
00:17:51,651 --> 00:17:54,577
Before you started, that
small part felt like enough.
418
00:17:54,728 --> 00:17:58,139
Griffin, I was just informed
that you tried to sabotage
419
00:17:58,157 --> 00:18:00,583
this operation by putting vermin
in the beer tank.
420
00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:02,919
This is the last straw, Griffin.
421
00:18:03,146 --> 00:18:04,587
You are fired.
422
00:18:04,738 --> 00:18:08,633
Fine. I'm not good enough
for this place anyway.
423
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:13,262
Wait.
424
00:18:13,339 --> 00:18:15,506
You can't fire Peter, sir.
425
00:18:15,658 --> 00:18:18,434
-And why's that?
-Because you need him.
426
00:18:18,586 --> 00:18:21,253
Sure, companies need some people
to work hard
427
00:18:21,272 --> 00:18:23,755
and go the extra mile,
but more than that,
428
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:25,257
they need guys like Peter,
429
00:18:25,351 --> 00:18:28,093
regular guys who are happy
to do a thankless job
430
00:18:28,113 --> 00:18:31,263
for a mediocre salary,
day in and day out,
431
00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,765
so long as that day ends
with a cold beer
432
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:36,010
and a best friend
to share it with.
433
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:37,787
If you fire Peter Griffin,
434
00:18:37,864 --> 00:18:40,014
sir, you fire your customer,
435
00:18:40,032 --> 00:18:41,532
the beer-loving everyman
436
00:18:41,684 --> 00:18:45,019
that makes up the hunched
backbone of this country.
437
00:18:45,037 --> 00:18:47,797
Cleveland, you're right.
438
00:18:47,948 --> 00:18:50,191
Griffin here
is perfectly mediocre,
439
00:18:50,209 --> 00:18:52,969
and America runs on mediocre.
440
00:18:53,196 --> 00:18:55,045
You know,
that's the kind of insight
441
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:56,973
I need coming from up top.
442
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,809
How'd you like to join me
on the executive floor?
443
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,462
I appreciate the offer, sir,
but I can't accept.
444
00:19:03,481 --> 00:19:06,707
In fact, I'm officially
"terndering" my resignation,
445
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,801
and recommending Peter Griffin
as my replacement.
446
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:12,321
There's only one job
I was born to do,
447
00:19:12,548 --> 00:19:14,139
-and I'm gonna go get it ba...
-(bird squawking)
448
00:19:14,233 --> 00:19:16,576
There's the bird with my laptop!
449
00:19:31,158 --> 00:19:32,675
POSTMASTER:
Just come in.
450
00:19:32,826 --> 00:19:34,343
Thank you for seeing me, sir.
451
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:38,163
I'm gonna get right to it and
say being a postman is who I am,
452
00:19:38,183 --> 00:19:39,907
and I'm here to get my job back.
453
00:19:39,967 --> 00:19:42,852
-Well, that's great, but...
-Please, sir, let me finish.
454
00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:46,505
With this rubber band, I will
cinch the offending testicle
455
00:19:46,524 --> 00:19:50,193
so that it can never dangle nor
sway where it does not belong.
456
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,237
(deep breath)
Here I go.
457
00:19:54,273 --> 00:19:56,607
-(grunting)
-(rubber band snaps)
458
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:58,034
It's done.
459
00:19:58,185 --> 00:20:01,612
Cleveland, we sent your
reinstatement forms a week ago.
460
00:20:01,706 --> 00:20:03,206
I never check my own mail.
461
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:06,116
You know how Pablo Escobar
never did cocaine?
462
00:20:06,269 --> 00:20:08,436
-He did a lot of cocaine.
-Oh.
463
00:20:08,438 --> 00:20:10,862
Then I fear I've made
a terrible mistake.
464
00:20:11,031 --> 00:20:12,215
Turns out, we couldn't fire you
465
00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:14,792
without running it
by the union head.
466
00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:17,945
Welcome back, Cleveland.
(laughs heartily)
467
00:20:18,038 --> 00:20:20,372
Thank you, sir.
It's good to be back.
468
00:20:20,466 --> 00:20:22,683
-(rubber band snaps)
-(bouncing)
469
00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:27,379
And there goes my ball.
470
00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:30,149
-Here's your rubber band back.
-You-you can keep it.
471
00:20:35,740 --> 00:20:38,223
So, Cleveland, you happy
to be delivering mail again?
472
00:20:38,243 --> 00:20:39,408
Oh, yeah.
473
00:20:39,635 --> 00:20:42,561
Yep, sure is nice
to have things back to normal.
474
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:44,822
Say, Cleveland, how about
you and me get a quick selfie
475
00:20:44,916 --> 00:20:46,415
to remember this crazy week?
476
00:20:46,492 --> 00:20:48,918
Peter, did you make
another insensitive joke
477
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:51,087
and need to prove you have
a Black friend again?
478
00:20:51,238 --> 00:20:52,404
I'm not gonna say it was bad,
479
00:20:52,498 --> 00:20:54,982
but I have to make you
my profile picture.
480
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:56,484
It's my only shot.
Oh, hang on,
481
00:20:56,502 --> 00:20:58,910
there's my Jewish friend
Mort Goldman.
482
00:20:59,005 --> 00:21:02,265
Hey, Mort, what's up, pal?
Quick selfie?