1 00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:04,745 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,822 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,677 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,680 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:18,166 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,336 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,080 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,339 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:30,195 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,201 This is the shirt you chose? 11 00:00:36,428 --> 00:00:38,929 Denim, with all the Warner Brothers characters 12 00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,021 peeking out of the pocket? 13 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,099 Yeah, it's the fanciest shirt I have. 14 00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:45,026 But Warner Brothers wouldn't license their actual characters. 15 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,287 Eh, how are you, Doctor? 16 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,106 Oh, my God, will you look at this? 17 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:51,717 Bonnie's latest post has 43 likes. 18 00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,719 That's tied for the record. 19 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,283 That's good, but it should say, "Pretty good view from here." 20 00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:01,894 No, no, no, it's because she's at the pier. 21 00:01:02,121 --> 00:01:05,122 So... I love that. 22 00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,124 -(phone chimes) -LOIS: Damn it, Peter, 23 00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,975 now she's got the Spooner Street record. 24 00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,977 PETER: Hang on, I'm texting Quagmire and Cleveland. 25 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,312 They gotta see this. 26 00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:15,074 (phone chimes) 27 00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,493 (indistinct chatter) 28 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,895 Hey, kids, I'm Mr. Andy, and I just invented 29 00:01:20,989 --> 00:01:23,156 this really crazy game. 30 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:25,659 One person hides in a top secret spot, 31 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,921 and the others count to ten, then try and find him. 32 00:01:29,148 --> 00:01:31,757 We'll call it, oh, I don't know, "hide-and-seek"? 33 00:01:31,908 --> 00:01:34,909 I say, one game covering covert activity, 34 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,820 surveillance and counting? 35 00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:40,173 I would follow this man into the very bowels of hell. 36 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,008 All right, who wants to hide first? 37 00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:43,844 Oh, me, me. 38 00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:46,087 Looks like we have our first little hider. 39 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,499 I'm so glad they didn't fire you for giving us baths. 40 00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:53,503 Okay, it's time to bid on our final donated item of the night: 41 00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:56,173 a romantic Vermont weekend getaway. 42 00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:57,783 (gasp) Peter, we have to win. 43 00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:00,677 Vermont is an Instagram goldmine. 44 00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:02,121 I could shatter Bonnie's record. 45 00:02:02,272 --> 00:02:03,271 Lois, we can't afford... 46 00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:04,772 I'll take you to Ben & Jerry's. 47 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:06,792 I have $600 taped to my stomach. 48 00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,127 $600! 49 00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:09,944 Sold. There were no other bids. 50 00:02:10,038 --> 00:02:12,539 You could have had it for $40. 51 00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:14,374 (stammering) 52 00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:16,877 That concludes this scene, ladies and gentlemen. 53 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,345 (slide whistle) 54 00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,218 Chris, what-- Oh, who cares? 55 00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:26,887 We're in Vermont till Sunday. 56 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:29,890 Call if you have to but, like, let's not call. 57 00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:32,133 Can we only brush our teeth for 60 seconds 58 00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:33,801 instead of the full 90? 59 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,896 You brush your teeth? Nerd. 60 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,714 And remember, kids, if you get nervous, 61 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:40,400 you can always turn on the home security system. 62 00:02:40,552 --> 00:02:43,887 That's right. The keypad code is 6969. 63 00:02:43,906 --> 00:02:45,146 If your mother doesn't want to do it, 64 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,556 at least she can type it. 65 00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,500 You're a legend, Dad. 66 00:02:52,247 --> 00:02:54,173 Hey, Brian, can you find me? 67 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,067 What the-- Is that a talking blanket? 68 00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:59,011 It's me. It's crazy, right? 69 00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,421 It's this brand-new game called hide-and-seek. 70 00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,607 Basically a peekaboo on Flintstones Vitamins. 71 00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:05,759 -Let's play -Fine. 72 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,352 But like all adults, on my turns, 73 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,171 I'll only hide in beds so I can take little naps. 74 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,932 I'll start counting. Go upstairs. 75 00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:15,009 Whoa, I never even thought about hiding upstairs. 76 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,604 This is a game changer, like Twitch. 77 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:21,349 YOUTUBER: Normal voice. Playing Minecraft, quiet-normal. 78 00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:23,184 Loudest scream possible! 79 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:26,187 Kinda quiet, normal-quiet, Minecraft. 80 00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:28,457 Scorching-hot audio levels! 81 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:39,943 Oh, my God. 82 00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:43,447 Pretty cool spot, eh, Bri? 83 00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:45,707 Do all kids know what a good spot 84 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,226 a closed-door refrigerator is? 85 00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:50,044 No. Don't ever hide in there. Could you even breathe? 86 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,472 No. It's a good thing you were looking for me. 87 00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:55,141 Stewie, no. Very bad. 88 00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:56,626 What the hell was that? 89 00:03:56,645 --> 00:03:58,979 A spanking. That was me spanking you. 90 00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:02,299 That's it? Brian, you either gotta be that guy 91 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:03,467 or-or not be that guy. 92 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,495 I-I don't-- I don't know what that was. 93 00:04:18,317 --> 00:04:20,333 Oh, God, she did it again. 94 00:04:20,486 --> 00:04:21,668 -Who? -Bonnie. 95 00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,763 Every time I do a post, she does one right after. 96 00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:26,448 -So what? -So what? 97 00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:28,934 It undercuts my post's popularity. 98 00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:31,603 Like Armageddon and Deep Impact. 99 00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:33,680 Oh, yeah, that was weird. 100 00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:36,275 Can you imagine you just wrapped principle shooting 101 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,335 on Volcano, and you're very proud of it, 102 00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,520 and then bam, here comes Dante's Peak? 103 00:04:40,672 --> 00:04:41,763 One more and I'll get it. 104 00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:44,508 You've just finished a comprehensive retelling 105 00:04:44,526 --> 00:04:47,101 of early '70s middle-distance running in Oregon 106 00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:48,345 with Prefontaine, 107 00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,030 and then boom, your Leto gets Crudup'ed 108 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,033 by Without Limits. 109 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,035 Sorry, I was tracking two ladies holding hands, 110 00:04:55,187 --> 00:04:57,278 and they just kissed goodbye, so I've been elsewhere. 111 00:04:57,298 --> 00:05:00,999 Wha-What were you saying? Y-You like movies or something? 112 00:05:01,226 --> 00:05:02,208 Ah, look at this. 113 00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:04,361 A glassblowing class. 114 00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:07,431 That kind of crap is perfect for Instagram. 115 00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:11,643 (phone chimes) 116 00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,800 Oh, I'm so beat. 117 00:05:18,877 --> 00:05:20,468 Me and Rupert played H&S-- 118 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,878 quicker way to say hide-and-seek-- 119 00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,472 all night, until like 8:00 p.m. 120 00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:26,049 I'm not even joking. Wanna play? 121 00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:28,401 Not now. I'm trying to get this TED Talk onto the TV. 122 00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:31,145 I can see the PornHub logo reflecting on your 123 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,740 big, wet dog eyes, you scumbag. 124 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,560 Honestly, Stewie, I'm getting pretty bored of hide-and-seek. 125 00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:38,837 Oh, please, Brian, just one game. Please? 126 00:05:39,064 --> 00:05:40,488 (sighs) Okay. 127 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,007 But no more hiding in the fridge, 128 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:44,234 in the washing machine, the open safe 129 00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:46,069 with the long-forgotten combination. 130 00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:47,404 Oh, no, I'm way better now. 131 00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:49,163 I might be the best player in the world. 132 00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:52,184 Okay, I'm gonna go hide. Count to 20. 133 00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:01,485 I'll probably count to, like, six or seven minutes. 134 00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:13,597 Oh, baby, that's the spot. 135 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:16,083 ♪ ♪ 136 00:06:25,293 --> 00:06:26,718 Oh, Amelie, Noelle, 137 00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:28,553 I have a 48-hour layover in Paris, 138 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,780 and I'd love to include you in my horny plans. 139 00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:31,890 BOTH: Oui, oui. 140 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,726 Yeah, on me. That's what I was hoping for. 141 00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:37,062 Oh, this is gonna be a great weekend. 142 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:38,471 That seems like it's happening, right? 143 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,140 Your orgy? Yeah. 144 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,175 Can we just talk about plane stuff? 145 00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,460 Ah, I forget you young guys 146 00:06:43,478 --> 00:06:45,237 don't like to talk about sex at work. 147 00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:47,572 Hey, take over for a sec. I gotta make sure I packed 148 00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:50,634 my pilot sunglasses that diminish our entire profession 149 00:06:50,636 --> 00:06:52,994 to a frat guy's Halloween costume. 150 00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:58,733 -Stewie? -Mr. Quagmire? 151 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,460 Terrance. 152 00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,669 All right, we're gonna get you home, little guy. 153 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,321 (line ringing) 154 00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,748 Peter, is Lois there? Put me on speaker. 155 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,842 Hi, Glenn. What's going on? 156 00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:17,084 Well, I just flew to Paris, 157 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,253 and Stewie was somehow in my suitcase. 158 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,605 He must have snuck in there. 159 00:07:20,832 --> 00:07:22,590 Oh, my God! Is he okay? 160 00:07:22,684 --> 00:07:25,277 Yeah, he's eating one of those weird French street ham things 161 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,446 that aren't good but are also amazing. 162 00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:28,763 Look, how soon can you come get him? 163 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,282 I only have 48 hours in Paris 164 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,433 and a whole list of horny activities to do. 165 00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:35,361 Okay, let me just do the math. 166 00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:38,272 In 48 hours we'd need to get to an airport, 167 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:41,034 which we're hours from, find a last-minute flight-- 168 00:07:41,186 --> 00:07:42,127 if there are any-- 169 00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:45,188 fly ten hours, then wait for Peter's 170 00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:46,873 post-flight airport poop... 171 00:07:47,025 --> 00:07:48,282 Peter don't poop on planes. 172 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,803 Or we leave him in the care of a trusted adult 173 00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:54,288 and one of our best friends and enjoy the first trip 174 00:07:54,457 --> 00:07:56,349 we've had together in years. 175 00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:59,035 Lois, uh, shouldn't we go? 176 00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:01,371 (sighs) Okay, if you think that... 177 00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:03,815 -(phone chimes) -Ah! I got another like. 178 00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:06,042 Peter, listen, Stewie is safe, 179 00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,378 we're in the prettiest place we'll ever be 180 00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:10,213 and I'm on an Instagram hot streak. 181 00:08:10,232 --> 00:08:12,232 I can beat Bonnie's record. 182 00:08:12,384 --> 00:08:13,566 Still, as parents, I think that... 183 00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:16,069 Oh, look, my mom's friend that kind of looks like 184 00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:18,905 the AT&T lady just commented on my last post. 185 00:08:19,057 --> 00:08:23,001 She says, "Your husband is very handsome." 186 00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,003 Quags, you got this, right? 187 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:29,156 -Captain Quagmire, the Quags... -Stop! I can't believe this. 188 00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:30,842 (sighs sharply) Okay, I'll watch him. 189 00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:32,201 But I'm not happy, Peter. 190 00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:33,678 Oh, and now that you're my babysitter, 191 00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,421 I'd rather you call me Mr. Griffin. 192 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,516 (phones chime) 193 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,093 Peter, did you just text me the peach emoji 194 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,911 followed by the water squirt emoji? 195 00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:44,247 Yeah. You're the babysitter now. 196 00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,608 And it's "Mr. Griffin." 197 00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:52,647 ANNOUNCER (French accent): This is the Paris Attractions Channel, 198 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,700 with a host who's never been to Paris. 199 00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:57,369 Oh, wow, what is that thing? 200 00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,430 The Eiffel Tower is one of Paris' top attractions. 201 00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:02,115 It's like a hundred feet, huh? 202 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,951 Yeah, yeah. I wonder if you could get up there. 203 00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:08,271 If you do plan on visiting, you want to get here early. 204 00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,882 Is that right? Yeah, yeah, that could be cool. 205 00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,867 Hey, is that, like, the king's house? 206 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,386 Oh! Can we go there? Please? 207 00:09:14,613 --> 00:09:16,129 I don't know what you're yammering about, 208 00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:18,948 but the only place you're going is this hotel and the airport. 209 00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,541 Kind of thought you'd be asleep by now. 210 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:23,544 I'm smart but not "put myself to sleep" smart. 211 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,639 I'm just gonna put on some music for a bit to calm down. 212 00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:28,141 -What do you like? -Goo-goo. 213 00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,793 -The Dolls? -Gaga. 214 00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:30,885 The Lady? (chuckles): Aha. 215 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,145 Now you're talking my language. 216 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,830 (dance music playing) 217 00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,240 (chuckling) 218 00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:38,151 Hey. Hey, you got moves, man. 219 00:09:38,303 --> 00:09:40,153 Yeah, I mean, Ms. Christie put me two from the middle 220 00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:41,487 at dance class winter demo. 221 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:42,989 I know what I'm doing. 222 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,490 -(music stops) -Hey, you want to jump on the bed? 223 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:45,584 See how high you can get? 224 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,901 -Go ahead. -Is... 225 00:09:46,995 --> 00:09:48,812 A-Are we allowed? 226 00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,463 Is this really happening? 227 00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:52,591 Hey, that looks fun. 228 00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:54,718 -(laughing) -(rattling) 229 00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:57,762 (pounding at door) 230 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,657 Me and this baby who is not mine 231 00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:02,675 are in the room below trying to sleep. 232 00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:03,768 This is hotel, 233 00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:07,163 not jungle gym children's play structure. 234 00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:09,232 -Very sorry. -It won't happen again. 235 00:10:10,551 --> 00:10:12,777 (laughing) 236 00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:15,280 -What a loser. -What a dork baby. 237 00:10:15,507 --> 00:10:17,357 You know, I think they were weirdly on our plane. 238 00:10:17,509 --> 00:10:20,535 I weirdly think those guys were on our airport shuttle. 239 00:10:24,349 --> 00:10:26,833 You know, I envy you, Stewie. 240 00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,518 I used to be innocent like you. 241 00:10:28,536 --> 00:10:29,294 I've killed people. 242 00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:31,129 Then I lost my virginity at six 243 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,022 to our strangely female plumber. 244 00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:35,282 -Respect. -I know you're just a baby, but... 245 00:10:35,377 --> 00:10:37,026 I feel like you really understand me. 246 00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,453 I can understand you, dude. 247 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,454 (yawns) 248 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,974 Aw, it's late. You must be tired. 249 00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:46,478 ♪ ♪ 250 00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:48,037 There you go, little buddy. 251 00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:50,223 (sighing contentedly) 252 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,727 ANNOUNCER: We now return to Toi, Moi et Dupree. 253 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,529 OWEN WILSON: Le wow. 254 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,909 (indistinct chatter) 255 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,738 They say Mona Lisa's eyes follow you wherever you go. 256 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,041 (phone buttons clicking) 257 00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,837 Yeesh. Quagmire was right. 258 00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,297 Somebody's in here! 259 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,900 (stall door closes) 260 00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:19,252 (flatulence) 261 00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:22,347 Oh, her expression is gas! 262 00:11:24,759 --> 00:11:27,243 (birds chirping) 263 00:11:27,336 --> 00:11:29,312 ♪ ♪ 264 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,174 Oh, this is it. 265 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,752 A good caption and Bonnie's reign is over. 266 00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:38,029 Hey, how 'bout we stand on either side of the tree 267 00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:40,273 and the caption is "Tree Amigos"? 268 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:45,261 Or I'm holding a leaf and it says "Leafing is so hard"? 269 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,371 Yeah, uh, you know, I feel like 270 00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:48,206 someone said "Tree Amigos" earlier 271 00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:49,874 and-and we were-- we were all laughing. 272 00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:51,617 Okay, step back. 273 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:52,877 Another step. 274 00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:55,621 -(birds chirping) -(wind blowing) 275 00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,006 Big step back. 276 00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:59,125 Peter, are you sure? 277 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,944 I'm a little close to the edge. 278 00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:04,130 No, you're fine. One more big, big step back. 279 00:12:04,282 --> 00:12:06,599 You know what, tiny step forward. 280 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,310 W... (screams) 281 00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,981 Whoa, that's not usually how cliffs work. 282 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,403 You know, Stewie, this wasn't the weekend I had planned, 283 00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:19,979 but I'm having a lot of fun with you. 284 00:12:20,131 --> 00:12:21,388 Me, too. It's so fun, 285 00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:24,075 I don't even mind the too-loud French radio. 286 00:12:24,227 --> 00:12:25,969 RADIO DJ: Bonsoir, Paris. You're listening 287 00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,746 to Double Vé-Cé-O-Qu, Le Coq. 288 00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,639 Rude 102! Shut up! 289 00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:31,916 We've got deux tickets for Un Direction, 290 00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:33,977 so give us a call at cinq-cinq-cinq, 291 00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,478 cinq-cinq-cinq-cinq. 292 00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:38,405 And I hope the ladies have an umbrella for this next one 293 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,650 or they'll be "Alouette." 294 00:12:40,668 --> 00:12:43,595 FEMALE SINGER: ♪ Alouette, gentille alouette. ♪ 295 00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:45,638 (crickets chirping) 296 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,843 I love you, man. 297 00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:52,586 I love you, too, man. 298 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,757 And, hey, you know, I-I know my dad and everyone says 299 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,093 that your car l-looks-- 300 00:12:59,187 --> 00:13:00,837 is like a woman's car, 301 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,429 but I-I like it. 302 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,598 And, hey, off-topic, but you-you don't think 303 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,952 my car is-is like a-a woman's car, right? 304 00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,529 Yeah, no. No, no way, man. 305 00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:10,696 Okay, good, good, good. 306 00:13:10,849 --> 00:13:12,698 Yeah, 'cause Peter's always saying stuff. 307 00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,367 I-I mean, I love your dad, 308 00:13:14,519 --> 00:13:17,462 but he's-he's just-- he's not very sensitive. 309 00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:23,051 (brakes squeaking) 310 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,264 (beep) 311 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,517 (air hissing) 312 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,148 Oh, my God, it's Madeline! 313 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,983 She must have snuck out of the nunnery. 314 00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,027 She's kind of a bad girl. 315 00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:45,990 I got to shoot my shot with her. 316 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:49,285 ♪ ♪ 317 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,148 (beep) 318 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,575 ANNOUNCER: We are approaching 319 00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:56,984 the end of the line. 320 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,745 Please grab all bags and babies. 321 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,064 Stewie, we got to get off. 322 00:14:01,082 --> 00:14:02,748 Hey, Stewie, stop messing around. 323 00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:04,676 This is our stop. 324 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:05,993 Stewie! 325 00:14:06,162 --> 00:14:08,680 Stewie! Where are you?! 326 00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:09,848 Oh, please, you got to help me. 327 00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:11,015 I'm looking for a little boy 328 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,499 with red overalls and a yellow shirt. 329 00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:14,594 You are looking to buy or to rent? 330 00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:16,337 What? No! God! (stammers) 331 00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:18,581 How is Paris considered a classy city? 332 00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:21,276 The buildings are beautiful. The people are trash. 333 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,325 Stewie! Stewie! 334 00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:31,777 Stewie! 335 00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,446 Sir, have you seen a baby 336 00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,114 with a football-shaped head around here? 337 00:14:35,266 --> 00:14:37,858 Yes, all babies have a round, football-shaped head. 338 00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:39,210 No, I mean the real football! 339 00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:41,454 The one where you can't remember how to put on pants 340 00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:42,380 when you're 38. 341 00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:43,530 Taxi! 342 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,200 Taxi rapid transfer garbage strike. 343 00:14:46,294 --> 00:14:49,629 It began a moment ago and will end the moment you leave. 344 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,723 (panting) 345 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,375 (panting) 346 00:14:54,469 --> 00:14:55,376 Stewie? 347 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,953 Are you here? 348 00:14:56,971 --> 00:14:58,229 (shower curtain opens) 349 00:14:58,456 --> 00:14:59,731 (rustling) 350 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,142 (groans) I'm screwed. 351 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,128 I'm totally screwed. 352 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,129 (dialing) 353 00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:07,630 Wait a minute. I can't call Peter. 354 00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:08,740 He'll kill me! 355 00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:10,742 (inhales deeply, sighs) 356 00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,318 (beep, line ringing) 357 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,746 (ringing) 358 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,491 Ha-ha. Got him. 359 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,143 Glenn Quagmire. 360 00:15:20,236 --> 00:15:22,645 What... is... up? 361 00:15:22,664 --> 00:15:23,829 I lost Stewie in Paris. 362 00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,665 We got separated and I can't find him. 363 00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:26,666 I'm too ashamed to tell Peter. 364 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,075 What? Did you call the police? 365 00:15:28,169 --> 00:15:31,003 On strike. Brian, you're the last guy I want to call, 366 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,655 but you know Stewie better than anyone. 367 00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:33,823 Can you help me find him? 368 00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:35,324 I'll fly you to Paris. 369 00:15:35,343 --> 00:15:38,327 First class and no male flight attendants in my area. 370 00:15:38,329 --> 00:15:40,329 -Fine. -I knew airlines could do that! 371 00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:42,440 Also, I want a special Kibbles 'n Bits meal. 372 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,016 -Fine... -Only, Quagmire, 373 00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:45,351 I want just the bits. 374 00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:47,353 Come on! Who's gonna pick the kibbles out? 375 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,323 I kind of don't want to have to think about that, Glenn. 376 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,376 Lois, you had a big fall, but you're gonna be fine. 377 00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:55,436 We're getting you to the hospital. 378 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,847 Oh, Peter, I'm so glad you're here. 379 00:15:57,865 --> 00:15:59,365 Me, too. Hey, you know, 380 00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:01,775 you were saying some crazy things when you were out. 381 00:16:01,869 --> 00:16:04,020 -I was? -Yeah, I mean, 382 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,538 you said you lost 1,100 bucks on BetKings. 383 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,690 I checked the account. You definitely lost it. 384 00:16:07,783 --> 00:16:10,134 But in light of what happened, I'm not mad at you. 385 00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:12,786 I mean, UConn had literally never lost to Rutgers 386 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,363 in lacrosse. I mean, it was free money. 387 00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,957 You're betting on lacrosse now? 388 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,034 You're not wrong! 389 00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:20,478 There's no way UConn loses twice in a row! 390 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,797 Plus, Syracuse's all-American attacker, Tristan Wyndcroft, 391 00:16:23,891 --> 00:16:24,798 broke his leg! 392 00:16:24,892 --> 00:16:26,818 It'll be all Huskies all day! 393 00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:28,635 Peter, no! 394 00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:29,636 Just rest, babe! 395 00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:31,698 I promise I'm not mad at you! 396 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,644 Where else could Stewie be? 397 00:16:37,739 --> 00:16:39,889 Should we look in, like, a park? 398 00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:41,315 "In, like, a park"? 399 00:16:41,409 --> 00:16:43,743 I flew you out here for this level of insight? 400 00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:46,062 -I thought you knew him! -I do know him, okay? 401 00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:48,155 And I would have taken a lot better care of him. 402 00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:50,008 You lost him, Glenn! How do you do that? 403 00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:52,902 What, did you go to a-a sex... place or something 404 00:16:53,071 --> 00:16:54,253 and leave him tied up outside? 405 00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,589 No! We went out to dinner and drank some wine, 406 00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:59,350 just like every responsible adult and child in France. 407 00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:00,667 But you're right. 408 00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:01,853 I lost him. 409 00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:04,914 And now he's gone and it's all my fault. 410 00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,691 I'm a loser. (sniffles, sighs) 411 00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:08,675 I'd do anything to get him back. 412 00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:10,010 I really miss him. 413 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,512 -You do? -Yeah. 414 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,772 We really bonded. 415 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,014 It was nice. 416 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,925 He's a special little guy, huh? 417 00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:17,777 Yeah. He sure is. 418 00:17:17,929 --> 00:17:18,944 We just got to find him. 419 00:17:19,097 --> 00:17:20,872 And in a town called "gay Paree," 420 00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:22,707 he could literally be anywhere. 421 00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:25,126 (ominous music playing) 422 00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:29,789 Where am I? 423 00:17:29,941 --> 00:17:32,175 What am I going to do? 424 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,056 My guidebook said Marcel Proust is buried there. 425 00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:39,465 He'll know what to do. 426 00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:42,435 -(owl hooting) -(insects trilling) 427 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,548 (screams) 428 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,625 (panting) 429 00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,444 -(meows) -(screams) 430 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,323 (screams) 431 00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:58,701 (screams) 432 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,900 Ugh. Can't even get through his tomb quote. 433 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,477 (sighs) 434 00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:11,738 I wish Brian were here to pretend he gets it. 435 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,966 (crying) 436 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,326 The Père Lachaise Cemetery. 437 00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:26,420 We were supposed to go before we got separated! 438 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,589 Yeah, and while we're here, I wouldn't mind taking a leak 439 00:18:28,683 --> 00:18:30,182 on Gérard Depardieu's grave. 440 00:18:30,335 --> 00:18:31,500 He's still alive. 441 00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:32,668 Really? 442 00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:33,760 How? 443 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,838 Stewie! 444 00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:38,674 -Stewie! -Hey, look! 445 00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:40,009 -(crying) -Stewie! 446 00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:43,012 Brian? What... what are you doing here? 447 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,997 -Quagmire called me... -(crying) 448 00:18:46,851 --> 00:18:47,959 And, um... 449 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,369 and he told me you guys were playing hide-and-seek 450 00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:52,797 but that you were too good a player for him. 451 00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,799 He... he did? 452 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,467 He did. He said he needed my help, 453 00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:58,577 because I'm a dog and I can smell you. 454 00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:00,972 You're too good to be found any other way. 455 00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:03,048 You know, this is probably the best hiding place 456 00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:04,049 I've ever seen. 457 00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:05,309 But it's not... 458 00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,036 It-it wasn't... 459 00:19:07,054 --> 00:19:08,312 You really think so? 460 00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:09,205 I know so. 461 00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:10,631 Nobody would ever look here. 462 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,707 It's too scary. 463 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,043 It is pretty scary. 464 00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:16,395 Am I the best hide-and-seek player in the world? 465 00:19:16,547 --> 00:19:17,804 Uh, yeah. 466 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,658 There's the best little travel buddy in the world! 467 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,570 Whoa! I guess I'm really good at lots of stuff! 468 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,957 I'd say we should get a room, but we already have one. 469 00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:31,727 Yep. 470 00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:32,837 Totally. 471 00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:36,081 I missed you, you unrelenting douchebag. 472 00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:39,752 ♪ It seems today ♪ 473 00:19:39,904 --> 00:19:41,995 ♪ That all you see ♪ 474 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,590 ♪ Is the violence in movies ♪ 475 00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:47,685 ♪ And hon-hon-hon on TV ♪ 476 00:19:47,836 --> 00:19:51,931 ♪ Lucky there's a family "gi." ♪ 477 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:54,192 ♪ ♪ 478 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,035 I'm sorry you broke your leg, Lois. 479 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,595 Oh, no, Peter, I'm the one who's sorry. 480 00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:10,433 I got so wrapped up trying to beat Bonnie at stupid Instagram 481 00:20:10,451 --> 00:20:12,543 that I ruined our whole weekend. 482 00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,528 ANNOUNCER: I don't believe it. 483 00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:17,548 Tristan Wyndcroft is checking in for Syracuse. 484 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,258 With a broken leg?! 485 00:20:20,278 --> 00:20:22,127 I know. What was I thinking? 486 00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,797 And the irony is she still has the record. 487 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,541 I guess we should probably take an Instagram break 488 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,542 for a bit, huh? 489 00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,135 Probably. 490 00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:33,105 Can I check something on our bank account real quick? 491 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,641 Uh, Lois? 492 00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,235 You may want to see this. 493 00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:41,814 Ah! Break's over! 494 00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:43,241 Eat that, Bonnie! 495 00:20:43,468 --> 00:20:45,892 Oh, Peter, now that I have more likes than Bonnie, 496 00:20:45,987 --> 00:20:49,305 I realize that this was the best weekend ever. 497 00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:52,065 ANNOUNCER: Wyndcroft scores with no time left! 498 00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:53,400 Syracuse wins! 499 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,402 (inhales sharply) Man, Lois, 500 00:20:55,496 --> 00:20:59,674 you were saying some crazy stuff about BetKings during surgery.