CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
Man: YEAH.
THAT'S IT, JIMMY.
NOW DISTRIBUTE YOUR WEIGHT.
YOU CAN DO IT. BALANCE.
THAT TICKLES.
YES, AND NOW TRY STANDING.
DON'T LET ME FALL.
UHH! UHH!
HOT DIGGETY DOG, I'M SURFING.
NOT QUITE, THERE, MINI-KAHUNA.
BUT IF YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH,
WE AT ED'S SURF SCHOOL WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO--
SWIM A LOT!
FLIP THE LIP, HANG TEN, OR SHAVE THE BARREL.
FOR AN ADDITIONAL FEE, OF COURSE.
CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
I'M STOKED. TEACH ME, TEACH ME.
AAH! DON'T LET GO. DON'T LET GO.
I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT, JIMMY.
CHECK OUT THESE MOVES, JIMMY BOY.
AH!
EASY AS 1-2-3.
ED, WE NEED THE WAVE.
Jimmy: WAVE?
PURELY METAPHORICAL, JIMMY. WHAT EDDY MEANS IS--
AAH! HELP!
READY OR NOT, HERE I AM!
[SCREAMING]
[GASPS]
YOU GUYS HAVE MORE FUN THAN A BARRELFUL OF MONKEYS.
WHAT'S THAT, PLANK?
YOU WANT TO SURF, TOO?
WHY, YOU'D SWELL UP BIGGER THAN A BREAD BOX.
WELL, STEP RIGHT UP TO ED'S SURF--
Ed: ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?
[LAUGHS]
OH, YOU'LL HAVE FUN--
AFTER I GET THROUGH--
TOO BAD. PLANK WAS JUST ACHING TO TRY A NEW RIDE.
[LAUGHS]
ONE TIME PLANK WENT ON A ROLLER COASTER
119 TIMES IN A ROW.
PHEW! I CHUCKED BISCUITS AFTER THAT, DIDN'T I, BUDDY?
WHY, PLANK SPENT HIS WHOLE ALLOWANCE THAT DAY--
A REGULAR ROCKEFELLER.
PLANK GETS AN ALLOWANCE?
HAVE I GOT A RIDE FOR YOU!
PLANK?
NICE RIDE, HUH, PLANK?
THAT'LL BE 25 CENTS.
Jimmy: PLANK SAYS YOU THROW LIKE A TOOTHPICK, EDDY.
HE WON'T PAY FOR KIDDIE RIDES.
WELL, YOU TELL THAT DOORSTOP
EDDY'S GOT A RIDE THAT WILL ROUND HIS CORNERS,
AND IT'S CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP.
PLANK SAYS YOUR MOUTH RUNS FASTER
THAN 6-MONTH-OLD CHEESE, EDDY.
I'LL TAKE THAT AS A "YES."
I OBJECT. MY SKIN IS STILL PRUNED
FROM THAT SURF-SCHOOL FIASCO.
ED, WHO ARE WE TO DENY PLANK
A THRILL-RIDE OF A LIFETIME?
LET'S GET TO WORK.
WHO SAYS MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS?
HELLO. MY NAME IS ED.
SAVE YOUR ENERGY, ED. WE HAVE LUMBER TO BILK.
[GRUNTING]
[GASPS]
I SAID "SORRY," BUDDY.
I FORGOT THE CAMERA AT HOME.
OK, JONNY BOY, COUGH UP A QUARTER FOR THE RIDE.
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
GIVE EDDY HIS QUARTER, PLANK.
PLANK SAYS HE'S BROKE.
NO CASH, NO BUMPER-CAR RIDE.
I'LL SPOT YOU THIS TIME, BUT YOU SHOULD LEARN
TO PINCH YOUR PENNIES, MISTER.
WHAT A PAL.
NOW GET IN THERE AND BUMP HIM.
PLANK'S GOING TO BUMP US?
OH, NO! HE'S GOING TO BUMP US!
WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO-- BOARD US TO DEATH?
OH, LOOK, I'M SCARED STIFF-- STIFF AS A BOARD!
[ED AND EDDY LAUGH]
BOARD JOKES ARE FUNNY!
EDDY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
WHAT, JEALOUS YOU CAN'T COME UP WITH A BOARD JOKE?
[ALL SCREAM]
THAT-A BOY, BUDDY!
Eddy: STOP THIS THING!
[SCREAMS]
WAY TO GO, PAL!
AAH!
RIGHT ON!
Ed: FLIP IT!
[LAUGHS]
NO NEED TO SAY ANYTHING, PLANK,
'CAUSE I WOULD NOT HEAR IT ANYWAYS.
PLANK SAYS BUMPER CARS ARE FOR CHICKENS,
AND WHOEVER THOUGHT THAT UP
SHOULD HAVE THEIR BRAIN LACQUERED.
BOY, BUDDY, THAT'S HARSH.
NOW, EDDY, LET'S NOT DO ANYTHING HASTY.
IT'S AN INANIMATE OBJECT, FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Jonny: WHAT'S THAT, PLANK--ANOTHER RIDE?
YOU'RE STARTING TO GET THAT LOOK AGAIN, MISTER.
HOW WAS I TO KNOW PLANK WAS SUCH AN ANIMAL?
I GOT SOMETHING TUCKED AWAY
THAT'S SURE TO CURL HIS SHAVINGS.
Eddy: THIS IS SURE TO TURN PLANK'S ENDGRAIN.
WELCOME TO THE LOG OF NO RETURN.
IT'S FAST, THRILLING, AND WORST OF ALL,
DOUSED WITH DEPRAVED, UPSET, WOOD-EATING TERMITES.
SHOW 'EM HOW IT WORKS, LUMPY!
HOLY COW!
WILL PLANK SURVIVE OR TURN INTO LUNCH
FOR THE REALLY MIFFED TERMITES?
YOU'RE SCARING HIM, EDDY.
REST ASSURED, JONNY.
ALL SAFETY PRECAUTIONS HAVE BEEN TAKEN,
AS SAFETY IS OUR PRIME--
THAT'LL BE 50 CENTS.
SO WILL THAT BE CASH OR--
50 CENTS? THE LAST RIDE WAS A QUARTER!
COME ON, PLANK.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
YOU'RE BUMMING ME OUT, BUDDY.
ALL RIGHT--ALL RIGHT!
[LAUGHS]
YOU LUCKY DOG, YOU.
[LAUGHS]
ARF! ARF!
WAIT! I CHANGED MY MIND!
OH...OH...
PLANK! YOU GET BACK HERE!
OH, DARN IT!
DOUBLE "D" ALMOST SAID A BAD WORD, EDDY.
HOLD ON A SECOND!
WHAT ABOUT THE CANDY STORE?
I GOT 75 CENTS. WHERE YOU GOING?
OH, BROTHER. YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE!
YOUR INSATIABLE THRILL-SEEKING IS GIVING ME AN ULCER!
I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK--
THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS MY FOOT.
AH, THIS IS BUNK.
I'M HITTING THE CANDY STORE.
[LAUGHS]
DON'T GO, EDDY!
PLANK NEEDS US.
Jonny: PLANK SAYS, "WHO NEEDS THAT FATHEADED,
NO-NECK, CHICKEN-LIVERED GEEK, ANYWAY?"
THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THAT STICK'S...
Edd: BUT, EDDY, HE'S SO HIGH UP.
SHUT UP AND CLIMB!
EDDY, WAIT.
YOU'RE DEALING WITH A SAPLING.
Ed: I AM SCARED, GUYS.
GRAB HIM, DOUBLE "D."
TERMITES!
OOPS.
TERMITES?
TERMITES! TERMITES! TERMITES!
I GOT YOU, BUDDY!
RATS.
I'M WET.
HEY!
HANG ON, PLANK!
YOU'RE WELCOME.
Eddy: THAT GUY'S REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, MR. TROUBLEMAKER?
Eddy: THE WATER'S KIND OF BRISK ON THE PANTS, HUH, DOUBLE "D"?
AAH! AAH! AAH!
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS, GUYS,
BUT THIS CRAZY KID WANTS TO GO ON ANOTHER RIDE.
NO WAY!
PLANK'S APPETITE FOR DEATH-DEFYING RIDES
ALMOST GOT US KILLED.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THAT THING HOME
AND STAIN IT OR SOMETHING?
Jonny: PLANK SAYS, "LET'S TALK CASH."
I'M LISTENING.
PLANK SAYS, "YOU NEED A BREATH MINT, EDDY?
Eddy: YOU WANT IT? YOU GOT IT.
WELCOME TO REQUIEM FOR A WHIPLASH.
SURE LOOKS HAIRY, PLANK.
I'M NOT A SISSY!
YOU BETTER BE NICE TO ME.
OH, I'M TIRED--SO TIRED.
WITHOUT LIMITATION-- TRULY TIRED.
UTTERLY, UNEQUIVOCALLY TIRED.
Ed: THIS IS MY LUCKY POTATO, PLANK.
MAY IT SERVE YOU WELL. HERE YOU GO.
AS YOU CAN SEE, WE'RE TALKING A HIGH-CLASS,
VOMIT-INDUCING RIDE HERE.
IT'LL COST YOU A BUCK TO RIDE.
ONE DOLLAR? PLANK, I GOT A FEELING
THESE GUYS ARE TAKING US FOR A RIDE.
ARE YOU WARPED, PLANK?
YOU'RE TELLING ME
IF THE EDS RIDE WITH YOU,
YOU'LL GIVE EDDY 5 BUCKS?
AS GENEROUS AS THAT MAY BE, I REALLY DON'T THINK--
ALL ABOARD THE MONEY TRAIN!
WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH--
DROWNING IN CASH, SWIMMING IN MOOLA,
TOP OF THE HEAP, BABY!
EDDY, DON'T LISTEN TO PLANK!
HE'S JUST LOOKING FOR KICKS.
JONNY'S RIGHT, EDDY. PLANK'S UP TO--
DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE, SOCK HEAD.
HAND OVER THE GULLIBLE HUNK OF WOOD.
WHERE'D HE GO?
HE IS OVER THERE.
THE LITTLE RASCAL.
[POP]
Edd: PLANK HAS TURNED THE TABLES, EDDY.
WHAT A WEASEL!
THE LITTLE DICKENS.
Eddy: I WANT MY M--
[SCREAMS]
WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY TO GO!
NICE TRICK, YOU SNEAK, YOU.
Ed: FASTER, PUSSYCAT, FASTER!
HEY, GIVE IT A BREAK, WILL YOU!
YOU GOT IT, EDDY!
[SCREAMING]
AAH!
UHH!
GIDDYAP, HORSE--
Edd: UM, ED...
LOOK AT THE SPARKS, PLANK.
[SCREAMING]
Ed: LET'S SING A SONG!
[CLOCK TICKING]
OH, DEAR.
CURSE MY APT AT INVENTING.
Eddy: WHAT?
[ALARM RINGS]
[SCREAMING]
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? WE GOT A REFUND, PLANK.
HEY, EDDY!
PLANK SAYS YOU OWE HIM A BUCK FOR THE RIDE!
[LAUGHS]
GOOD ONE, BUDDY.
Ed: IF ONLY WE HAD A SACK OF POTATOES.
Eddy: IT'S MINE, ED!
Ed: EGGS, EGGS, EGGS, EGGS, EGGS...
I'D REALLY LIKE TO THANK YOU FELLAS
FOR HELPING ME CARRY IN THE...GROCERIES.
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME--
RECONSTITUTED FAVA BEAN PASTE?
EXCUSE ME, BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW,
FAVA BEANS ARE HIGH IN PROTEIN
AND QUITE DELECTABLE ON SALTINES.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? WHAT'S THIS STUFF?
WHERE'S THE JUNK FOOD?
LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOURS AND ED'S HELP, BUT...
WHERE'S ED?
I SAY TOMAHTO!
YEAH. WELL, I SAY YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
ALLEY-OOP. HA HA HA!
HAVE YOU TWO LOST YOUR SENSES?
YOU COULD HAVE BRUISED MY BANANAS.
OH, ED, WANT TO TRY SOME BROCCOLI?
NO-- NOT THE BROCCOLI!
EDDY, SHOW MY PRODUCE SOME RESPECT.
COME ON, ED-- JUST A LITTLE BITE.
STAY AWAY, PUFFY, GREEN, STALKY THING!
NOT THE SCREEN AGAIN, ED.
FATHER HASN'T RECOVERED FROM THE LAST TIME YOU--
EAT IT, ED. HA HA HA.
EDDY, THAT BROCCOLI BELONGS TO MY FAMILY!
JIMMY, THAT'S NEAT-O! IT LOOKS SO REAL!
NOT TO BRAG, BUT UNICORNS ARE MY SPECIALTY, SARAH.
IT'S ATTACKING, JIMMY!
Jimmy: EVERYONE STAY CALM. DON'T PANIC.
AHA! EAT THE BROCCOLI!
GO AWAY, PURSUER OF PAIN!
Eddy: ED, GET BACK HERE!
HA HA! COME ON, ED, IT WON'T KILL YOU.
BROCCOLI BAD FOR ED. MAKE IT STOP!
[LAUGHS]
CAN'T ROLF HAVE ONE MOMENT OF PEACE?
MY EGGPLANTS!
AWESOME, KEV.
RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
WIPE OUT!
NOT COOL!
Eddy: EAT IT, ED.
EGGS.
WHERE YOU GOING, ED?
WHOA! WOO-HOO! WHAT A RIDE!
FAR OUT, HUH, BUDDY?
PLANK?
HEY, YOU!
GOTCHA! PREPARE TO SCARF THE--
YEOWCH! THAT HURT, ED.
GEE, EDDY, I'M SORRY.
AAH!
DEVOUR THE BROCCOLI, EH?
QUIT IT, ED.
ED, EDDY, CONTROL YOURSELVES.
HAND OVER MY PAL!
WHY, CERTAINLY, JONNY.
[GROWLS]
BOY, IF I WASN'T SO PEACE-LOVING, I'D--
BUT, JONNY, I--
Rolf: DOUBLE "D," ED BOY--LOOK.
SHED A TEAR FOR THE ONCE PROUD EGGPLANT,
ITS ROUND AND SUPPLE LIFE TRAMPLED
BY YOUR NOODLE-HEADED FLEA FELLOWS!
HEY, DOUBLE "D," LOOK AT WHAT ED AND EDDY DID TO POOR JIMMY.
WHY MUST AN ARTIST SUFFER SO?
UM, NOW, LET'S ALL REMAIN CALM.
WE'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR TROUBLEMAKING PALS.
YOU BETTER PUT THE KIBOSH ON THOSE DORKS,
OR YOU'LL BE SO SORRY.
Edd: THEY WON'T LISTEN TO ME. I--
NO, KEVIN, PLEASE WAIT--
[BLOWS LANDED]
[LAUGHS]
HURRY, ED, YOU ALMOST GOT ME.
[LAUGHS]
HEY, HEY, HEY! QUIT STRETCHING THE THREADS.
EDDY, KEVIN SAID HE'S GOING TO DO THIS TO MY LEGS.
YOU AND ED HAVE DONE IT THIS TIME.
SHOW SOME SELF-CONTROL.
YOUR RAMBUNCTIOUSNESS HAS EVERYONE INFURIATED.
TELL THEM TO STICK IT IN THEIR HAT.
VERY WELL, THEN,
BUT PROMISE YOU'LL VISIT ME AT THE SIDESHOW.
I'LL BE THE BOY WITH THE PRETZEL LEGS--
NO SALT.
ED CAN SURELY HELP YOU WITH YOUR PLETHORA OF SCAMS--
PAINTING SIGNS, THEREBY MISSPELLING THEM
AND DECREASING YOUR SUCKER QUOTIENT.
NO, WAIT! I CAN'T HELP IT, DOUBLE "D."
IT'S IN MY BLOOD.
WE--WE NEED HELP, THAT'S ALL.
JUST WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR, EDDY.
LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?
ALMOST GOT YOU, EDDY!
[LAUGHS]
TELL ME AGAIN, ED.
WHY ARE WE WEARING THESE BANDAGES ON OUR HEADS?
FOR FREE LUNCH FROM DOUBLE "D," EDDY McGEE.
[BOTH LAUGH]
WHY?
'CAUSE DOUBLE "D" SAID SO,
EDDY THE--UM, UH, I DON'T KNOW.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Eddy: YOU'RE A RIOT, ED.
Ed: FOOD!
FOOD, FOOD! FOOD, FOOD!
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
FOOD, FOOD! FOOD, FOOD!
Eddy: WHAT THE...
OW! OW!
NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION...
JUMPING GERONIMO!
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
IT'S TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR MANNERS, EDDY--
A BRACING DOSE FOR YOU TWO TO COMPLY AND BEHAVE
IN A SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE MANNER.
WHAT A LOAD OF--
WHAT IS THIS SLOP, ANYWAYS?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO EAT SOMETHING-- NOT BURY IT.
MY MOTHER MADE THAT SOUP.
[RIPPING]
YEOWCH!
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
HA HA HA HA! NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!
YOU WATCH YOURSELF, MISTER!
IT'S NOT POLITE TO LAUGH AT OTHERS' MISFORTUNES, ED.
OUCH!
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YEOWCH!
HEY, THAT'S 3.
NO BANDAGES LEFT, DOUBLE "D." HA!
I'M WELL AWARE OF THAT, EDDY--
AS YOU'VE ONLY COMPLETED
YOUR FIRST PHASE OF THE PROGRAM.
Eddy: THIS IS SO STUPID.
EAT YOUR SOUP, EDDY.
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO EAT A KNUCKLE--
UH...
OH...
ED...
OH...UH...AAH...
ED, LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU.
NEVER INGEST THE TABLEWARE.
I AM SORRY, DOUBLE "D."
IT WAS SO WRONG OF ME, AND IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.
Eddy: MAY I INTERRUPT?
I SEEM TO HAVE FINISHED MY SOUP.
I WILL WASH IT AND PUT IT AWAY.
STOP WHERE YOU ARE.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON DOING
ANYTHING YOU MIGHT REGRET IN KITCHEN.
ME? NO WAY, DOUBLE "D."
THOSE DAYS ARE HISTORY.
I LEARNED GOOD, TOO, DOUBLE "D."
LET ME TAKE THAT, ED.
RELAX.
LET ME HELP, EDDY.
I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE OTHERS SEE MY PROGRESS.
Jonny: FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
IT'S STUCK.
WE'RE HOOPED, BUDDY.
OH, BROTHER.
GOOD AFTERNOON, JONNY.
HIYA, DOUBLE "D."
HEY, JONNY.
NICE DAY, HUH?
EDDY?
JONNY, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THESE PARTS?
ED, YOU OK?
TRANSFORMED. WHY THE LONG FACE, CHUM?
WELL...
OUR KITE'S STUCK IN THE TREE.
LET ME FIX THAT FOR YOU
'CAUSE I'M A BRAND-NEW ME.
OH, BOY! THANKS, ED.
THANKS A LOT!
ROLF WASH THIS. ROLF WASH THAT.
WHY MUST ROLF REMOVE THE FOUL
FROM NANA'S FINERY?
[SNIFFS]
OOH!
WHY DON'T YOU LET ME DO THAT, ROLFY BOY?
YOUR HANDS LOOK PRUNED.
ROLF SEES THROUGH YOUR HUSKY-BOY MASQUERADE.
WHAT MISCHIEF ARE YOU UP TO?
NOT ONE, ROLF. I'M A NEW GUY.
TOTALLY REFORMED, ROLF.
A LITTLE PAVLOVIAN TRAINING
HAS TURNED ED AND EDDY INTO UPRIGHT, FINE FELLOWS.
GOOD WORK--
FOR ONE WITH SUCH SOFT HANDS.
Eddy: NEXT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GIVING ROLF A HAND.
I COULD SMELL HIM A MILE AWAY.
OH, DEAR, EDDY, YOU'RE RELAPSING.
YEOWCH!
STAY BACK!
OOPS, MUST HAVE MISSED A SPOT.
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.
Kevin: LET GO OF ME, YOU BIG APE!
UP AND DOWN. UP AND DOWN.
ED, STOP IT. THIS IS SO WRONG.
Jimmy: AAH! HELP ME!
DON'T MENTION IT, JIMMY.
I'M GETTING STRETCH MARKS.
Edd: HANG ON, JIMMY. MERCY ME.
LET ME HELP.
OH, HELLO, ROLF.
ROLF WAS THE SON OF A SHEPHERD.
NOW ROLF IS THE POSTERIOR OF A DUCK!
YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW
WHAT THEY DID TO ME.
I'M SICK JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
SOMEONE'S GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!
I HATE DORKS.
Eddy: ED! EDDY!
[SHOUTING]
♪ LA LA LA LA LA AIN'T THAT PRETTY?
STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT.
SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG.
YOU'VE BECOME WORSE.
PESKY WEEDS, DOUBLE "D"--
NO LONGER A PROBLEM.
I'VE CREATED A MONSTER.
SNAP OUT OF IT! SNAP OUT OF IT, EDDY!
WELL...
LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.
OH, EDDY, I'M SO SORRY. I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE WHO YOU AND ED ARE.
[RUMBLING]
Ed: I'M CHANGING SOME LIGHT BULBS, DOUBLE "D."
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
NO PROBLEM.
Eddy: GREETINGS, DOUBLE "D."
YOU LOOK SAD.
MAY WE BE OF ASSISTANCE?
GO AWAY.
I JUST WANT MY OLD FRIENDS BACK.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HELP SITTING?
[BOTH LAUGH]
WHAT A SAP!
WE FOOLED YOU ALL ALONG, DOUBLE "D."
[BOTH LAUGH]
Eddy: HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.
EDDY, IT IS NOT POLITE TO LAUGH AT OTHERS.
[BOTH LAUGH]
YOU'RE JUST TOO EASY, DOUBLE "D."
WHERE'D HE GO?
BROCCOLI! BROCCOLI!
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY EMOTIONS!
Eddy: CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?
WATCH IT, DORK!
BROCCOLI BAD FOR ED!
Kevin: HEY, DOUBLE "D," COME HERE!
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
HAVE MERCY.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
Boys: ED, EDD, AND EDDY.
Man: YEAH.