1
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,976
The princess nodded,
and the frog said,
2
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:08,272
"That which you have promised,
you must perform."
3
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,234
Very good. Keep reading.
4
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,239
"So the princess leaned in
and kissed the frog,
5
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,785
"but as she did,
he became a handsome prince,
6
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,455
"and they rode off to his kingdom,
7
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:29,293
"where they lived happily ever after."
8
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,463
Happily ever after.
9
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,925
There's no such thing
as "happily ever after."
10
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,803
Not for a real princess.
11
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,266
The prince my father wants me to marry
will always be a frog.
12
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:47,895
My offer still stands.
I will help you get to America.
13
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,314
- America?
That's very kind.
14
00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:52,441
But we're running out of time.
15
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:55,861
I know of a ship bound for America,
but we must leave tonight.
16
00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,821
- Leave tonight?
- We must hurry, Princess.
17
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:08,165
Hurry, Princess.
18
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,062
Mung Goo Hi.
19
00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:15,024
Zhou Hei.
20
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:16,900
Chow Lu.
21
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,951
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's it.
22
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:52,162
Okay. Great. Great. Okay.
23
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,998
Come here. Look at this.
Spent a lot of time on this.
24
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,334
Now, pay attention,
'cause I don't want any mistakes.
25
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,878
Now, I've calculated the speed of
the train and the speed of our horses.
26
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:02,214
We meet at this vector.
The only variable is the wind.
27
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,383
Technically, if you travel
over here on the horses...
28
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,509
Is this the train?
29
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,900
All right. We're just gonna wing it,
like we always do.
30
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,027
Ride down, jump on the train,
31
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,864
hoorah the money,
head back to the cathouse, all right?
32
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,533
- Mmm-hmm.
- Let's go. Come on. Move out. Go!
33
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,871
You okay? Nervous? It's all right
to be nervous when you're new.
34
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,039
You'll be okay. I'll keep an eye on you.
35
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:39,168
All you gotta do is follow my lead.
All right, look alive, outlaws!
36
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:49,511
"So the princess
leaned in and kissed the frog,
37
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:53,682
"but as she did,
he became a handsome prince,
38
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,226
"and they rode off to his kingdom,
39
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:59,688
"where they lived happily ever after."
40
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,076
Reach for the sky,
ladies and gentlemen!
41
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:15,913
Touch that gun
and I'll blow your goddamn head off!
42
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,247
What are you doin'?
43
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,041
I sorta like to be the only guy
that talks, Wallace.
44
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,376
- All right. I'm sorry.
- That's okay. That's okay. Good.
45
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,921
Don't worry. Come on, come on.
Big 'Un, let's go.
46
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,131
Why is the new guy talking?
Where did you get this guy?
47
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:29,426
You know I'm the only one who talks.
Okay, everybody keep calm.
48
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,595
You think you're gonna
shoot me? Is that right?
49
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,431
What you got right in here?
Yeah, you got this gun?
50
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,433
You think you're gonna
do something with that gun?
51
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,894
Come on, lady bird.
You got anything besides yarn?
52
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,523
You got it out for me!
- Hey!
53
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,900
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
54
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,444
Come here. Come here.
We don't steal from women.
55
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,905
Get over here. Take that side.
56
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,617
Give me your hand. Give me your hand.
57
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,954
I'm so sorry about that. I apologize.
58
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,790
First time you've seen an outlaw?
59
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,585
Scared? Kind of excited, too?
60
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,213
All mixed up? Yeah.
61
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,343
Last train we robbed, we were naked,
it was so hot out.
62
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,637
Ooh! That was somethin'.
63
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,975
Yeah, it's got my initials right there.
64
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,645
What are you lookin' at?
65
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:27,359
Wait! Stop! Where did you get this guy?
66
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,654
- Texas.
- Texas? Are you insane?
67
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,115
Just shoot me now, 'cause I don't
understand what we're doing here.
68
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:36,994
Sir, sir, sir, sir. Come here,
come here, come here. Sit down.
69
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,662
- Excuse me.
- Sir, sit down.
70
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,505
What happened?
71
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,300
- Wallace, what are you doing?
- I'm just wingin' it.
72
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,177
No! That's not how we wing it!
73
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:57,014
No more winging it!
Stop! Come on, Big 'Un.
74
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,599
You've lost your "winging it" privileges.
75
00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,891
Damn.
76
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,435
Damn!
77
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:44,102
Who killed my uncle? Who did this?
78
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,386
Give me the dynamite.
Give me the dynamite.
79
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,805
No, no, no, no. You stay here.
You don't get to come.
80
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,475
- Keep an eye on wing nut.
- Hey, Blue, looky here!
81
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,531
Okay.
82
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,119
Who killed my uncle?
83
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,330
What in the hell is this,
the Orient Express?
84
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,292
- Get him!
- Come here!
85
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:39,009
What? Hey!
The safe's getting ready to blow!
86
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,011
Get ready to reap the fruits of our labor.
87
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,086
Move it! Let's go!
88
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:20,008
Roy, you just blew
the shit out of our fruits.
89
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,933
Oh, shit.
90
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,024
We got a Chinaman to catch.
91
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,906
Stop! Stop!
92
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,830
Stop! Stop! Turn around!
93
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,457
Turn around!
94
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,172
What the...
95
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,926
- Who are you?
Hey, Roy!
96
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:07,347
Don't you worry about a thing!
I got you covered!
97
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,432
No! No!
98
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,601
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
99
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:18,942
Roll, baby, roll!
100
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:51,641
Reach for the sky,
O'Bannon! It's my gang now!
101
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,001
I don't understand.
102
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,212
You said your friend had a large estate.
103
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,964
He does.
104
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,968
- What exactly does he do?
- Well, you could say
105
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,970
he's a philanthropist.
106
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:32,390
He helps Chinese immigrants
get back on their feet.
107
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,431
Welcome to America, Princess.
108
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:15,976
Lo Fong.
109
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,814
Forgive me if I do not bow.
110
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:24,150
Calvin, this man is a trai...
111
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,736
Traitor.
112
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,990
Why? Because he ran away
from the Forbidden City?
113
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,086
Your reward is on the table,
Mr. Andrews.
114
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,811
Well, now you're gonna have
to double it, or I'm gonna kill her.
115
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:06,234
One thing about the Chinese,
Mr. Andrews...
116
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:10,780
Aah!
117
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,159
We do not renegotiate.
118
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,384
Whatever you think
I'm going to do for you,
119
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,346
you're wrong.
120
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:39,267
It was just like a nightmare.
121
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,312
You wouldn't believe it if I told you.
122
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,147
My gang left me in the desert.
123
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,358
I felt like all the other cowboys
hated my guts.
124
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,488
Everyone was... I just missed you.
I missed all of you.
125
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,990
We missed you, too, Roy.
126
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,159
I think it's medication time.
127
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,791
Come here, devil woman.
128
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,585
Oh. Mmm.
129
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,671
Oh! Ooh, that's naughty.
130
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,217
Ohh. Ow, careful. Careful with that.
131
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,886
Ow, ow. Careful. Ow.
132
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,305
Ow. Aaaah!
133
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,398
Holy crap!
The vultures are eating my head!
134
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,068
Aaaah! Aaaah!
135
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,738
Help! Help! My gang buried me!
136
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,157
They left me for dead!
137
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,493
Ooh! Ooh.
138
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:42,539
Oh, thank heavens.
I thought you were a mirage.
139
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,709
- Oh, come on. Water.
- You.
140
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,383
- You killed my uncle!
- Bull!
141
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,718
That was Wallace all the way.
142
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:59,597
- He was one of your bandits.
- He wasn't part of my gang.
143
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,225
He was a new guy.
He's crazy as a road lizard.
144
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:06,688
- You deserve to die.
- Hold on a second.
145
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:09,732
You know what no one's saying here?
146
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,735
I had a chance to kill you
on that train, and I chose not to.
147
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,738
'Cause I'm not a barbarian.
148
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:19,325
- Hey! Where are you going?
- Carson City.
149
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:22,996
I'm closer to diggin' myself to China
than you are to gettin' to Carson City.
150
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,249
- Hey!
- Which way?
151
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,544
Hey, that's better.
Dig me out and I'll show you.
152
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:34,924
Which way?
153
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,140
You see the mountains over there?
154
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,894
Carson City is on the other side.
155
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,982
All right, dig me out.
I kept my end of the bargain.
156
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,861
Dig me out.
157
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,780
Dig.
158
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,076
Hey! Hey!
159
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:06,623
- Come on!
- Don't talk. Just dig.
160
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,586
Aargh!
161
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:49,989
Hey!
162
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:24,834
Where is Carson City?
163
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,997
- How.
- How.
164
00:29:09,999 --> 00:29:11,584
- How.
- How.
165
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:15,588
- How. How. How. How.
- How.
166
00:30:50,516 --> 00:30:52,935
I thought you might be hungry.
167
00:30:58,566 --> 00:30:59,900
You were wrong.
168
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:03,112
You would find me a much better host
169
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:06,282
if we could come
to some sort of an arrangement.
170
00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:10,953
An arrangement?
171
00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:15,040
Like the one you have with the slaves
working on this rail road?
172
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,961
These people are free to leave.
173
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:23,632
What do you want with me?
174
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:29,430
Once I have the emperor's gold,
my work will be complete.
175
00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:34,810
Princess.
176
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:41,650
I think it is time for you
to be among your people.
177
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:52,369
They don't look like any lnjuns
I ever seen, Jedediah.
178
00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:54,330
That's because
they're not lnjuns, woman!
179
00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:55,414
They're Jews!
180
00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:21,667
You, stay.
181
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:53,449
Fellas, get a load of this.
182
00:34:03,709 --> 00:34:04,752
How.
183
00:34:19,767 --> 00:34:21,643
Is this Carson City?
184
00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,814
No, this ain't Carson City, Chief.
185
00:34:25,856 --> 00:34:29,318
You're gonna have to get
your firewater somewhere else.
186
00:35:12,236 --> 00:35:14,530
All right, Roy, ante up.
187
00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:30,420
And stay out!
188
00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:45,060
You bounce back fast, kimosabe.
189
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:54,903
Ow.
190
00:35:56,947 --> 00:35:59,158
What are you doin' here? I thought
you were going to Carson City.
191
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:02,536
You! You gave me bad directions!
192
00:36:02,578 --> 00:36:04,580
No, I gave you wrong directions.
193
00:36:05,873 --> 00:36:07,249
You want your toothpicks back?
194
00:36:09,668 --> 00:36:11,378
You got a lot of nerve,
comin' in here with that...
195
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:12,921
Give it back to me!
196
00:36:24,016 --> 00:36:25,267
Ain't that somethin'?
197
00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:30,272
Take your hand off me.
198
00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:40,991
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
199
00:36:43,410 --> 00:36:45,621
Hey, I just want to go to Carson City!
200
00:37:08,644 --> 00:37:10,270
Whoa, whoa!
201
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:21,865
You're goin' for a ride!
202
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,034
Aaah! Aaah!
203
00:37:58,026 --> 00:37:59,361
No!
204
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:09,496
Yes! Yes!
205
00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:13,875
Yes! Yes!
206
00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:16,670
No! No!
207
00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:20,215
Sorry! I'm sorry!
208
00:38:20,257 --> 00:38:21,717
You!
209
00:38:40,027 --> 00:38:43,238
- Who in the hell started this?
- The Chinaman.
210
00:38:48,744 --> 00:38:51,580
Let me out! Give me the book back!
211
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:53,332
I have to go to Carson City
212
00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:54,624
to rescue the princess!
213
00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:57,711
You've got the wrong person!
I don't belong here!
214
00:38:57,753 --> 00:38:59,921
Hey!
215
00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:01,089
Keep goin' with the Chinese.
216
00:39:01,173 --> 00:39:02,966
That's workin'.
They're about to let you out.
217
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:04,092
Give me the book back!
218
00:39:04,134 --> 00:39:06,887
For cryin' out loud,
just give him the book back, please.
219
00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:07,971
If it'll give us some peace and quiet...
220
00:39:08,055 --> 00:39:09,264
- Open it up!
- Forget about it.
221
00:39:09,306 --> 00:39:10,599
They're not givin' you the book back.
222
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,434
- Drop the book.
- I wasted enough time with you.
223
00:39:12,476 --> 00:39:14,561
What? You've wasted
enough time with me?
224
00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:15,979
- What about me?
- Give me the book!
225
00:39:16,063 --> 00:39:18,231
- Listen for a second. Stop!
- Give me the book! Hey!
226
00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:21,735
Listen! Stop!
You're not in the East, okay?
227
00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:25,614
You're not in China. This is the West.
The sun doesn't rise here, it sets here,
228
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:27,282
and you're closer to getting us hung
229
00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:29,451
than you are
getting that book back, okay?
230
00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:34,956
Now, just... I like that.
231
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,250
That's what I'm talking about.
You're wound so tight.
232
00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:40,128
You're the most irritable guy I've ever
been around. Just relax for a second.
233
00:39:40,170 --> 00:39:43,131
Take ten minutes, and then you can go
back to screaming, I promise.
234
00:39:43,215 --> 00:39:45,967
I'll join you.
Okay, just relax for a second.
235
00:39:48,428 --> 00:39:49,679
Come on, sit down.
236
00:39:52,682 --> 00:39:54,101
Come on.
237
00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:01,108
Just relax.
238
00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:04,152
Is that relaxed?
239
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,489
You look sort of rigid there.
240
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:11,159
You know what?
We got off on the wrong foot.
241
00:40:11,243 --> 00:40:13,286
Let's try to start again.
242
00:40:14,663 --> 00:40:17,332
Man, you sure can fight.
243
00:40:17,416 --> 00:40:19,668
I've never seen anything like that.
244
00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:22,337
It was...
245
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,548
I'm trying to give you a compliment.
246
00:40:26,174 --> 00:40:29,302
You're not still mad about me pointin'
you in the wrong direction, are you?
247
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:32,889
Come on. You gotta be able
to laugh at stuff like that.
248
00:40:32,973 --> 00:40:34,266
Like me in the desert.
249
00:40:34,349 --> 00:40:36,560
I don't hold any grudges.
I laugh about it.
250
00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:39,855
I'm not angry at you. You just
left me there with chopsticks to die.
251
00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:44,317
Roy, all by his lonesome. Just me
and the buzzards pic:kin' at my head.
252
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:49,364
You're a very silent man, aren't you?
253
00:40:50,198 --> 00:40:52,409
You weren't expecting to see
old Roy in that bar, were you?
254
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:54,536
Be honest. Were you? Huh?
255
00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,542
Did you really use those chopsticks?
256
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,043
You better believe it.
257
00:41:04,004 --> 00:41:07,215
Now you laugh. That's funny.
I gotta remember that one.
258
00:41:07,299 --> 00:41:09,176
So, who are you?
259
00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,846
I'm Imperial Guard
to the Emperor of China.
260
00:41:13,722 --> 00:41:15,390
China.
261
00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:19,895
- What's with the book?
- The book belongs to Princess Pei Pei.
262
00:41:19,936 --> 00:41:21,771
- Who?
- Princess Pei Pei.
263
00:41:21,855 --> 00:41:24,399
She was kidnapped
from the Forbidden City.
264
00:41:24,441 --> 00:41:27,777
Forbidden City?
I like that, the Forbidden City.
265
00:41:27,861 --> 00:41:32,741
A princess kidnapped.
It's so mysterious. Oh, go ahead.
266
00:41:32,782 --> 00:41:35,076
The emperor sent us to get her back.
267
00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:37,412
Us? You mean your friends
from the train?
268
00:41:37,454 --> 00:41:39,247
They are also Imperial Guards.
269
00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:42,584
They have four days
to bring the gold to Carson City.
270
00:41:42,626 --> 00:41:45,420
- What gold?
- The gold for the princess.
271
00:41:48,298 --> 00:41:50,550
The gold... Was the gold on the train?
272
00:41:50,592 --> 00:41:52,093
Yes.
273
00:41:56,973 --> 00:41:58,266
How much gold?
274
00:42:00,101 --> 00:42:01,394
One hundred thousand pieces.
275
00:42:04,439 --> 00:42:07,651
Sir? Sir?
Could you hand us that book, please?
276
00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:09,986
Sir, there's been a mistake. He has...
277
00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:11,571
Sir... Yeah.
278
00:42:22,249 --> 00:42:25,835
We're gonna get that book,
and we're gonna get you out of here.
279
00:42:25,919 --> 00:42:28,755
- You help me escape?
- Shh. Yes.
280
00:42:28,797 --> 00:42:31,800
- Why?
- Why? I'm gonna tell you why.
281
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:34,469
Because there are some things
in this world that are just wrong,
282
00:42:34,511 --> 00:42:37,514
and stealing a princess is one of them.
283
00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,641
Yeah. That's wrong.
284
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:40,767
I'll tell you another thing.
285
00:42:40,809 --> 00:42:42,978
I feel guilty
about leading you up that mountain.
286
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:45,272
What was I thinking?
How much time did we waste there?
287
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:48,108
That was stupid.
It wasn't funny. All right?
288
00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:50,485
Now, sit tight and let me figure this out.
289
00:42:51,695 --> 00:42:54,030
All right, come on, Roy.
290
00:42:54,114 --> 00:42:56,324
Maybe... Maybe I pretend to be sick,
291
00:42:56,366 --> 00:42:58,159
then attack the guards
when they come in.
292
00:42:58,201 --> 00:43:00,453
Okay, you mean
the sick prisoner routine?
293
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:02,831
Yeah. Does that still work in China?
294
00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:04,874
'Cause here it's sorta
been done to death.
295
00:43:07,544 --> 00:43:10,171
- I have another idea.
- No, no, no, no, no.
296
00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:11,256
Here's how you help me.
297
00:43:11,339 --> 00:43:13,508
You stay on your side of the room,
let me figure it out over here.
298
00:43:13,592 --> 00:43:15,677
Okay, you play over there.
299
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:22,142
Think. Think.
What do we got here? Oh, yeah.
300
00:43:22,183 --> 00:43:23,685
Okay.
301
00:43:24,603 --> 00:43:27,856
We got wood.
We got a wall made out of wood.
302
00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:30,025
That's good. Oh, we got pillows.
303
00:43:32,819 --> 00:43:36,156
We got pillows, sheets.
We got the sheets and the mattress.
304
00:43:36,197 --> 00:43:39,826
Okay, let's put it all together.
Let's think. Add it up, add it up.
305
00:43:39,868 --> 00:43:42,203
What do we got? What do we got?
306
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:47,375
What are you doing? Stop! Stop!
307
00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:49,586
- What are you doing?
- Shh.
308
00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,881
- Hold this for me.
- No, no. That's your shirt. You hold it.
309
00:43:59,346 --> 00:44:02,098
I like your energy, but I'm not with you.
310
00:44:02,182 --> 00:44:04,225
When the shirt gets wet,
it doesn't break.
311
00:44:04,267 --> 00:44:05,852
I don't know what that means.
312
00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:08,229
And then...
313
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:15,070
Okay. And then what...
Then with the wet shirt, you...
314
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:17,864
You bend the bars. That's the payoff.
315
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:20,575
Don't waste my time
with stuff like that, okay?
316
00:44:20,617 --> 00:44:23,203
A 2,000-year-old civilization,
that's all you can come up with?
317
00:44:23,244 --> 00:44:25,705
Shame on you. Shame on you.
318
00:44:33,797 --> 00:44:37,550
Come on. Stop, please.
It's embarrassing.
319
00:44:49,604 --> 00:44:52,565
- See? I told you so.
- No, you said, "Wet shirt don't break,"
320
00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:54,275
not "Piss shirt bend bar."
321
00:44:56,111 --> 00:44:58,113
- Twist it.
- Help.
322
00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:00,740
Okay, there. Get it. There you go.
323
00:45:02,409 --> 00:45:04,786
Just one more. Yeah.
324
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:07,288
You're as strong as an ox!
Go! You can do it!
325
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:12,752
There, you got it! We're gettin' it!
326
00:45:14,254 --> 00:45:16,464
- Hold it for me. I'll get through.
- Okay.
327
00:45:16,506 --> 00:45:18,967
No, no, no. You hold it
and I'll go through.
328
00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:28,351
No! Not your hand! Stop.
329
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,813
- Hold it.
- Adios, sucker.
330
00:45:31,855 --> 00:45:35,191
- What?
- I'm just kidding. Come on. Go.
331
00:45:35,275 --> 00:45:37,360
I wouldn't leave my old pal there.
332
00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:39,696
Go. Really squeeze.
333
00:45:42,282 --> 00:45:44,325
No, no, no, no. Grab this, grab that.
334
00:45:46,035 --> 00:45:48,163
Work your magic right here.
335
00:45:50,915 --> 00:45:53,960
- Too dry.
- What? Juice it up. Juice it up. Go.
336
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,004
I can't! No more!
337
00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:58,798
Ah, damn it.
338
00:46:00,008 --> 00:46:02,552
Come on out, little Roy.
Work your magic.
339
00:46:09,184 --> 00:46:11,728
- Hurry up.
I’m trying, I'm trying.
340
00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:14,397
- Stop! Don't look at me.
- Relax!
341
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:18,485
- Relax. It'll come.
- Thanks.
342
00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:21,488
- That helps. Yeah. Good.
- Is that called relax?
343
00:46:36,878 --> 00:46:37,879
Whoa!
344
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,725
Sheriff! Oh, thank God you're here.
Get the guns!
345
00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:02,695
- Get my book!
- I got it!
346
00:47:04,906 --> 00:47:06,407
Who's the pretty lady?
347
00:47:06,491 --> 00:47:09,077
- That's my wife.
- How long you been in this country?
348
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,579
- Four days.
- Nice work.
349
00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,209
Hello.
350
00:47:17,210 --> 00:47:19,712
Come on. Let's adios, partner.
351
00:47:19,963 --> 00:47:21,130
Hyah!
352
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,763
Well, best of luck to you.
353
00:47:28,847 --> 00:47:31,766
Guess this is what
your people call sayonara.
354
00:47:33,309 --> 00:47:36,229
Looks like Fido's giving you
some problems there.
355
00:47:36,271 --> 00:47:38,398
You want me to, uh, give you a hand?
356
00:47:38,439 --> 00:47:41,442
- No, I can do it.
- Sure, you can.
357
00:47:41,484 --> 00:47:44,112
How is a greenhorn like you
gonna make it to Carson City
358
00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:46,281
and rescue this princess?
359
00:47:48,116 --> 00:47:50,201
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
360
00:47:51,870 --> 00:47:55,123
I can't take it anymore. Watch me do it.
361
00:47:57,458 --> 00:48:00,503
Get it like this and you put it up high.
362
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:05,550
See? It'll drift back when you're riding.
363
00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:13,099
- All right, I'll do it.
- Do what?
364
00:48:13,141 --> 00:48:16,019
Take you to Carson City,
help you rescue Princess "Pee Pee."
365
00:48:16,102 --> 00:48:18,813
Pei Pei. You do not
care about the princess.
366
00:48:18,897 --> 00:48:21,399
You don't know me very well, do you?
367
00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:25,194
Tell you one thing,
368
00:48:25,278 --> 00:48:28,573
I'd hate to think of an innocent member
of Chinese nobility suffering.
369
00:48:29,157 --> 00:48:30,283
Tell you that.
370
00:48:32,994 --> 00:48:36,456
You people believe in karma
over there, right?
371
00:48:36,497 --> 00:48:38,207
Well, I've been thinking.
372
00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:41,836
There must be a reason
why we keep running into each other.
373
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:45,715
I've ridden with some terrible men,
just people I couldn't trust.
374
00:48:45,798 --> 00:48:47,508
But when I look at you,
375
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:51,304
there's something different about you,
and I can see it.
376
00:48:52,805 --> 00:48:54,182
I can see it in your eyes.
377
00:48:56,809 --> 00:48:59,729
It's what the Indians call Chippichawa.
378
00:49:00,355 --> 00:49:03,191
- What's that?
- Chippichawa is nobility.
379
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:06,319
And you have it in spades.
380
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:12,200
You've got yourself a partner.
This has nothing to do with gold, okay?
381
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,078
Shake on it.
382
00:49:15,745 --> 00:49:17,830
Why you spitting in your hand?
383
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:19,999
Well, it's customary, to seal the deal.
384
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,668
Come on. Let's go.
385
00:49:28,841 --> 00:49:30,885
This is gonna be a long journey.
386
00:49:35,306 --> 00:49:38,768
You boys take care now,
you hear? Shalom.
387
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,650
- Shalom.
- Oh. Let's go.
388
00:49:50,613 --> 00:49:52,949
Yee-haw! God damn!
389
00:49:53,032 --> 00:49:56,369
Looks like y'all had a twister
touch down in here.
390
00:49:56,411 --> 00:49:58,913
Roy O'Bannon and his partner
come through town.
391
00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,248
Roy O'Bannon?
392
00:50:00,331 --> 00:50:04,127
Roy O'Bannon ain't got no partner,
friend. Roy O'Bannon is dead.
393
00:50:04,210 --> 00:50:05,920
He ain't dead.
394
00:50:05,962 --> 00:50:09,757
He busted out of jail last night
with the Shanghai Kid.
395
00:50:09,841 --> 00:50:12,885
Shanghai Kid?
Roy got a new gang goin'?
396
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:16,597
That son of a bitch.
That two-timin' son of a bitch!
397
00:50:16,681 --> 00:50:19,600
He double-crossed us with
that Chinaman from the damn train!
398
00:50:20,143 --> 00:50:23,271
Just like that.
See, at kind of a rakish angle.
399
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:27,483
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- How do I look?
400
00:50:27,567 --> 00:50:31,112
I think you look great.
I think you look like a real cowboy.
401
00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:33,781
Very dapper, red bandana.
402
00:50:34,157 --> 00:50:35,700
Roy O'Bannon.
403
00:50:36,868 --> 00:50:39,829
- My name is Chon Wang.
- John Wayne?
404
00:50:39,912 --> 00:50:42,457
Chon Wang.
405
00:50:42,957 --> 00:50:45,251
- That's a terrible cowboy name.
- Why?
406
00:50:45,293 --> 00:50:47,587
No, come on, that's not gonna work.
That's horrible.
407
00:50:47,628 --> 00:50:51,424
- That's so bad. And so's the ponytail.
- No!
408
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:58,139
It doesn't look that bad, actually.
409
00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:00,808
Never touch my queue.
410
00:51:02,268 --> 00:51:04,645
That killed! OW.
411
00:51:04,729 --> 00:51:07,482
- We have to go to Carson City.
- Okay.
412
00:51:07,523 --> 00:51:09,817
Now, before we go to Carson City,
I want to teach you some stuff.
413
00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:10,860
Come on.
414
00:51:12,987 --> 00:51:14,739
You just follow me.
415
00:51:15,865 --> 00:51:18,701
- What's that?
- Sensitivity. Increased reflexes.
416
00:51:18,785 --> 00:51:21,704
Now, these are guns. These can be
your best friend or worst enemy.
417
00:51:21,788 --> 00:51:24,165
That's a spin in my left hand.
That's a spin in my right hand.
418
00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:26,501
That's two spins. Now, here,
I'm gonna let you hang onto this.
419
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:29,837
See? Be careful.
Always be ready. Always be ready.
420
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,298
Now, try to exhale for long-range shots,
421
00:51:32,340 --> 00:51:34,342
inhale for short-range.
422
00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:36,344
All right, now cover up your ears,
'cause this could be loud.
423
00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:38,304
Cover up your ears.
424
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:55,196
I am like a wild horse.
You can't tame me.
425
00:51:55,238 --> 00:51:58,658
You put the oats in the pen, though,
and I'll come in for a nibble every clay.
426
00:52:04,163 --> 00:52:06,040
But if you ever shut that gate,
427
00:52:06,082 --> 00:52:07,917
I'll jump the fence.
You'll never see me again.
428
00:52:21,681 --> 00:52:25,226
Thing about your husband,
and this is nothing against him,
429
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:27,353
because I really like him,
430
00:52:27,395 --> 00:52:29,772
he comes from a very
male-dominated society.
431
00:52:30,439 --> 00:52:33,943
Because I wanna be
a cowboy, baby
432
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:37,363
With the top down
and the sunshine shinin'
433
00:52:37,405 --> 00:52:39,740
Cowboy, baby
434
00:52:39,824 --> 00:52:45,163
West coast chillin' with the Boon's wine
Gonna be a cowboy, baby
435
00:52:45,913 --> 00:52:48,749
Ridin' at night
'cause I sleep all day
436
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:51,294
Cowboy, baby
437
00:52:51,377 --> 00:52:54,755
I can smell a pig
from a mile away
438
00:52:57,258 --> 00:52:59,427
Let me put it this way,
439
00:52:59,510 --> 00:53:02,054
my horse is definitely
not my best friend.
440
00:53:02,138 --> 00:53:05,766
That's why they call me
a cowboy, baby
441
00:53:05,850 --> 00:53:09,020
With the top down
and the sunshine shinin'
442
00:53:09,103 --> 00:53:10,271
Cowboy, baby
443
00:53:16,152 --> 00:53:18,613
Now, people start looking at you funny,
444
00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:20,823
all you gotta say is, "Howdy, partner."
445
00:53:20,907 --> 00:53:21,908
Howdy, partner?
446
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,035
Faster than that or people will think
you're slow in the head.
447
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:25,786
- Howdy, partner.
Howdy, partner.
448
00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:29,248
- Just follow my lead. Howdy, partner.
- Howdy, partner.
449
00:53:31,626 --> 00:53:34,795
- Howdy, partner.
- Just park it right there.
450
00:53:36,047 --> 00:53:37,673
It's not working.
451
00:53:38,216 --> 00:53:42,637
Some people aren't as tolerant as I am.
Not very friendly today.
452
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:49,310
John, what are you...
453
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:52,772
- John...
- Ow. Hurt.
454
00:53:52,813 --> 00:53:54,815
Okay. We gotta work on that.
455
00:53:56,901 --> 00:53:59,028
Here you go, John. Straighten up here.
456
00:53:59,111 --> 00:54:01,155
- Roy, it hurts so bad.
- I know, John,
457
00:54:01,197 --> 00:54:03,783
but I'm not gonna walk with you
if you walk like that.
458
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:05,493
I'll be okay.
459
00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:13,626
- Hey, Roy. It's you.
- Holy shit!
460
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:17,171
I'm a wanted man. Look at this!
Five hundred bucks!
461
00:54:17,213 --> 00:54:18,381
- That's a lot of money.
- Let me see.
462
00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:21,634
- Nice picture.
- Careful, careful.
463
00:54:21,676 --> 00:54:23,970
Wow, look at this.
Do you know what this means?
464
00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:26,180
- This will drive the girls crazy.
- Really?
465
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:29,225
Yes, really. Come on, let's get
a couple more of these.
466
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:31,352
- It's not bad.
- I'm wanted, too!
467
00:54:31,435 --> 00:54:33,229
- What?
- This.
468
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:37,400
Oh, come on. That's not right.
469
00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:39,527
I know. I'm not from Shanghai.
470
00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:41,696
No! $1,000 for a sidekick?
471
00:54:41,737 --> 00:54:44,407
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Be careful.
472
00:54:44,490 --> 00:54:46,284
Justice system's all screwed up.
473
00:54:48,369 --> 00:54:49,954
Man can't even ride a horse,
474
00:54:50,037 --> 00:54:52,707
and that's a really cool nickname,
Shanghai Kid.
475
00:54:52,748 --> 00:54:54,875
It's like, got a snap to it that...
476
00:54:57,211 --> 00:55:00,548
Uh-oh, trouble. John, come here.
Get over here.
477
00:55:02,216 --> 00:55:04,802
Tie 'em up over here, fellas.
478
00:55:04,927 --> 00:55:06,387
Get in here.
479
00:55:10,558 --> 00:55:12,393
- What's going on?
- Shh.
480
00:55:12,435 --> 00:55:14,395
Oh.
481
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:16,105
Howdy, partner.
482
00:55:20,067 --> 00:55:23,237
Oh, my God, it's a posse.
They can't be looking for us.
483
00:55:23,279 --> 00:55:26,866
- What's "posse"?
- Oh, I think they're passing us by.
484
00:55:28,576 --> 00:55:31,912
It looked like Marshal Nathan
Van Cleef, the psychotic killer.
485
00:55:36,334 --> 00:55:40,755
Roy O'Bannon!
This is Marshal Nathan Van Cleef.
486
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:43,299
- Ohh!
- We know you're hidin' in there.
487
00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:45,760
Oh, God, it is him. It is him.
488
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,345
Why don't you throw down
your six-shooters
489
00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:49,764
and come out with your hands up.
490
00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:53,559
And that goes for the scum
you're ridin' with, too.
491
00:55:53,601 --> 00:55:56,937
- He won.
- Roy, Roy, it's okay.
492
00:55:57,021 --> 00:55:59,940
No, it's not okay!
Stop! You don't know this guy!
493
00:56:00,024 --> 00:56:01,108
Let me talk to them.
494
00:56:01,150 --> 00:56:03,944
Remember, we have
to save the princess.
495
00:56:04,028 --> 00:56:05,404
What are you doin'? Stop!
496
00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:12,953
- Go easy, fellas.
- Why are they shooting at me?
497
00:56:12,995 --> 00:56:15,623
What happened to "Mr. Shanghai Kid"?
"Oh, I'm a wanted man"?
498
00:56:15,664 --> 00:56:17,666
- Why?
- 'Cause you're an outlaw.
499
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:20,586
- I am not an outlaw!
- Stop! You're a bad guy!
500
00:56:20,628 --> 00:56:22,171
Look at that poster.
What does that say?
501
00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:24,840
Drives girls crazy.
502
00:56:24,924 --> 00:56:27,176
Drives girls crazy?
Drives the posse crazy.
503
00:56:27,259 --> 00:56:28,469
Makes them want to hang you,
504
00:56:28,511 --> 00:56:30,262
string you up,
because you're a bad guy.
505
00:56:33,057 --> 00:56:37,561
- You got 20 seconds...
- God! Give us a minute!
506
00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:39,355
Go around back, gentlemen.
507
00:56:39,438 --> 00:56:42,817
Make sure he isn't trying
to pull the saddle over our eyes.
508
00:56:43,692 --> 00:56:47,571
Remember, I want the Chinaman alive.
509
00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:51,367
I'm not a bad guy.
510
00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:53,911
You're a bad guy.
You're with me, you're a bad guy.
511
00:56:58,124 --> 00:56:59,834
Hey, you put me in this situation!
512
00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:02,878
- I'm the good guy, you're the bad guy!
- No! We're both bad guys!
513
00:57:02,962 --> 00:57:05,423
No, only you're the bad guy!
You go out there and tell them!
514
00:57:05,506 --> 00:57:07,091
No! I'm not going out there!
You go out there!
515
00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:08,676
No, you have to go!
516
00:57:12,054 --> 00:57:14,932
- Did I just do that?
- Not bad.
517
00:57:15,015 --> 00:57:19,270
I don't know karate,
but I know "crazy," and I will use it.
518
00:57:23,774 --> 00:57:25,693
What the hell is going on in there?
519
00:57:37,580 --> 00:57:39,081
You Okay?
520
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,626
You just threw me through a window.
521
00:57:42,710 --> 00:57:43,836
You got that gold?
522
00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:48,299
What? Gold? What gold?
523
00:57:48,382 --> 00:57:50,050
Wrong answer.
524
00:57:50,468 --> 00:57:55,306
Wait. I'm... I'm unarmed. I'm unarmed!
525
00:57:55,389 --> 00:57:57,766
No gun. Hold on, no gun. I don't...
526
00:57:57,850 --> 00:57:59,894
I'm unarmed!
You can't shoot an unarmed man.
527
00:57:59,935 --> 00:58:03,397
- Don't worry. I help you.
No, John. No, no.
528
00:58:03,439 --> 00:58:05,774
John! John...
529
00:58:05,858 --> 00:58:08,402
Fight with honor. You will win.
530
00:58:09,904 --> 00:58:11,655
Are you frickin' insane?
531
00:58:11,739 --> 00:58:13,407
Is that what they teach you
in Imperial Guard School?
532
00:58:13,491 --> 00:58:15,576
- What...
- Pick 'em up.
533
00:58:24,627 --> 00:58:26,921
MANI Well.
534
00:58:27,922 --> 00:58:30,049
If it ain't the Shanghai Kid.
535
00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:34,678
How about we make the Kid dance?
536
00:58:35,888 --> 00:58:38,349
Oh, come on!
You can do better than that.
537
00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:46,273
You robbed the wrong train, son.
538
00:58:54,573 --> 00:58:57,785
- Look, Marshal, I think that if...
- Just shut up and put on your guns.
539
00:59:05,626 --> 00:59:08,629
This is serious, you know?
540
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:10,714
We don't come back from this.
541
00:59:10,798 --> 00:59:13,092
That's the general idea.
542
01:00:28,250 --> 01:00:30,628
What the hell you doin'?
543
01:00:34,882 --> 01:00:36,884
Stop procrastinating.
Come on. Hurry up, son.
544
01:00:36,925 --> 01:00:40,804
Stop it! I'm not gonna let you
cheapen it. All right?
545
01:00:40,888 --> 01:00:43,390
This is a duel. It's a sacred thing.
546
01:00:43,474 --> 01:00:46,310
It's beautiful.
It's what separates us from the animals.
547
01:00:46,727 --> 01:00:49,104
- Mmm.
- Oh, yeah.
548
01:00:51,732 --> 01:00:55,611
Whew! I do not envy you. You ready?
549
01:00:56,111 --> 01:00:58,447
Why don't you turn
and face me like a man?
550
01:00:58,530 --> 01:01:01,617
Why don't you do it your way
and I'll do it my way? How about that?
551
01:01:07,623 --> 01:01:09,792
Oh, come on, Roy.
You can do it.
552
01:01:09,875 --> 01:01:11,752
Oh, no, you can't. He's gonna kill you.
553
01:01:20,386 --> 01:01:23,764
- One.
- He's gonna blow you away.
554
01:01:23,806 --> 01:01:25,808
Come on, Roy. Don't think like that.
555
01:01:31,230 --> 01:01:32,856
Two.
556
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:35,442
Oh, yeah. Be positive.
557
01:01:35,484 --> 01:01:38,195
Be the bullet. Be the lead bullet.
558
01:01:44,660 --> 01:01:46,954
- I'm about to die.
Three.
559
01:01:46,995 --> 01:01:48,706
Roy!
560
01:01:51,458 --> 01:01:53,001
Duel's off!
561
01:01:55,963 --> 01:01:57,840
Roy!
562
01:01:59,299 --> 01:02:01,009
You blew it, John!
563
01:02:01,093 --> 01:02:03,846
Never interrupt a man
in the middle of a duel.
564
01:02:03,929 --> 01:02:08,308
I had him. That's what kills me.
I had him! I had him!
565
01:02:15,733 --> 01:02:19,486
Now you know how it feels
to haul you around in that sedan chair.
566
01:02:20,738 --> 01:02:22,156
I will never bow to you.
567
01:02:26,326 --> 01:02:28,662
Take a good look at these faces.
568
01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:31,957
If you attempt to escape,
569
01:02:31,999 --> 01:02:34,877
I will kill one worker every hour
570
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:37,171
until you are found.
571
01:02:43,844 --> 01:02:45,387
Starting with this one.
572
01:02:54,396 --> 01:02:56,440
Do not let him see you suffer.
573
01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:00,694
I know who you are.
574
01:03:03,071 --> 01:03:05,699
Please, tell no one.
575
01:03:08,994 --> 01:03:11,288
You call this a special hideout?
576
01:03:12,748 --> 01:03:14,208
Yes, it is, John.
577
01:03:14,291 --> 01:03:16,960
It's also a good place
to gather intelligence,
578
01:03:17,044 --> 01:03:19,004
'cause no one
passes through Carson City
579
01:03:19,046 --> 01:03:21,256
without these people hearing about it.
580
01:03:21,340 --> 01:03:22,883
Would you ask them
about the princess?
581
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:24,468
Yes, sir, I will.
582
01:03:24,551 --> 01:03:26,637
And I don't care how ugly it gets.
583
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:28,180
I'm not gonna rest until I've pumped
584
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:30,599
everybody in there
for information, okay?
585
01:03:33,811 --> 01:03:35,145
- Hi, Roy.
Hello, ladies.
586
01:03:35,229 --> 01:03:36,230
Roy.
587
01:03:36,271 --> 01:03:38,065
Make way for a couple of desperados.
588
01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:40,150
Nice to see you again, Mr. O'Bannon.
589
01:03:40,234 --> 01:03:42,236
Greetings. Hello.
Roy.
590
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:47,115
Oh, yeah, we're gonna get
some information here. Trust me.
591
01:03:48,534 --> 01:03:50,577
This is not a proper hiding place.
592
01:03:50,619 --> 01:03:53,580
Oh, come on, John.
Let's relax for a little bit.
593
01:03:53,664 --> 01:03:56,500
- Here, have a drink.
- No. I wanna find the princess.
594
01:03:56,583 --> 01:04:01,255
So do I, but we can't exactly go door
to door in Carson City looking for her.
595
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,466
- Don't forget, we're wanted men.
- Only because of you.
596
01:04:04,550 --> 01:04:07,344
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything's my fault.
597
01:04:12,057 --> 01:04:14,810
So, what's the princess like?
598
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:16,979
John, what's the princess like?
Is she pretty?
599
01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:20,482
- Is she a pain in the neck?
- You are not fit to talk about her.
600
01:04:20,566 --> 01:04:23,277
John, you better
remember where you are.
601
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:26,613
This is the West.
It's not the East. Remember?
602
01:04:26,697 --> 01:04:28,532
And the sun may rise
where I come from...
603
01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:30,617
Blah, blah, blah. I know.
604
01:04:30,701 --> 01:04:32,703
Good. You remember.
605
01:04:32,786 --> 01:04:34,621
- Is she single?
- What?
606
01:04:34,663 --> 01:04:38,000
Is she single? Is she married?
Is she available?
607
01:04:38,083 --> 01:04:41,378
Only to a member of the Imperial family.
608
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:48,176
Are you a member of the Imperial
family? I don't think so.
609
01:04:48,260 --> 01:04:52,347
Was that a joke, John? That was a joke.
610
01:04:52,431 --> 01:04:56,018
John, that was your first joke.
We gotta have a toast. Your first joke.
611
01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:57,519
- Yes.
- No.
612
01:04:57,603 --> 01:05:00,814
Yes. Come on. Drink.
613
01:05:00,898 --> 01:05:02,524
- Just one.
- Okay.
614
01:05:03,275 --> 01:05:05,569
But don't talk about
the princess anymore.
615
01:05:05,652 --> 01:05:07,279
Word of honor.
616
01:05:12,117 --> 01:05:14,328
Be fun to play a drinking game.
617
01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:16,705
You know any
Chinese drinking games?
618
01:05:16,788 --> 01:05:17,831
No.
619
01:05:17,915 --> 01:05:21,209
Every country has a drinking game.
You must know one.
620
01:05:22,377 --> 01:05:23,754
Just one?
621
01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:46,026
- Uno mas?
- Uno... What?
622
01:05:46,068 --> 01:05:47,194
- One more. Uno mas.
- Okay.
623
01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:06,088
No! I lost? One more.
624
01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:14,805
Oh. no! Oh, yeah!
625
01:06:16,515 --> 01:06:18,433
I'm so lost, John.
626
01:06:20,394 --> 01:06:22,145
90% of the time, I don't even know
627
01:06:22,229 --> 01:06:24,231
what I'm doin' out here in the West.
628
01:06:24,272 --> 01:06:26,900
Terrible outlaw.
629
01:06:26,984 --> 01:06:30,404
- No, you're a good outlaw.
- Stop, please. I'm a screw-up.
630
01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:34,324
- No, I am screw-up. Look at my scar.
- No.
631
01:06:34,408 --> 01:06:37,911
One for arriving late at a guard duty.
632
01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:42,082
One for dropping fighting stick.
You good. I saw you.
633
01:06:42,124 --> 01:06:43,750
The only thing I'm good at is talking.
634
01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:50,090
- It's true.
- John.
635
01:06:50,173 --> 01:06:53,093
- Huh?
- Take your hand off me, John.
636
01:06:53,135 --> 01:06:54,261
Oh.
637
01:06:57,597 --> 01:06:58,932
One more game?
638
01:06:58,974 --> 01:07:02,102
No. No more drinking. That's it.
639
01:07:03,145 --> 01:07:07,274
- Uno mas?
- No mas, John. No mas.
640
01:07:12,029 --> 01:07:13,196
Roy?
641
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:15,824
Roy?
642
01:07:19,703 --> 01:07:21,830
- Are you coming?
- Fifi?
643
01:07:23,457 --> 01:07:24,624
Uno mas?
644
01:07:45,270 --> 01:07:46,813
{BURPS)
645
01:07:46,897 --> 01:07:50,400
So, who's your funny-looking friend?
646
01:07:51,359 --> 01:07:52,819
I don't know.
647
01:07:52,861 --> 01:07:55,489
He's this crazy Imperial Guard I met.
648
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:57,532
He's... He's really funny.
649
01:07:59,159 --> 01:08:00,660
The guy's hysterical.
650
01:08:00,744 --> 01:08:03,663
We were just playing... Did you see us?
We were just playing that game.
651
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:06,083
John's going...
652
01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:09,169
And I was going...You can't really
understand what he's saying, but...
653
01:08:09,211 --> 01:08:13,507
Roy? Roy? I never figured you
for riding with a Chinaman.
654
01:08:16,176 --> 01:08:20,180
Well, I'm not exactly
riding with him, Fifi.
655
01:08:20,263 --> 01:08:24,726
He's not my friend, you know.
I mean, he's a Chinaman.
656
01:08:25,977 --> 01:08:27,771
Well, that's good.
657
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:30,357
I mean... And you really...
658
01:08:30,774 --> 01:08:33,693
Were you guys talking
about who he was?
659
01:08:33,735 --> 01:08:35,904
Let's talk about something else.
660
01:08:42,202 --> 01:08:44,746
Don't you look delicious?
661
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,624
What's going on?
- Well.
662
01:08:47,707 --> 01:08:50,460
- You!
- if it isn't the Shanghai Kid.
663
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:56,883
Here.
664
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:18,405
Thank you.
665
01:09:22,033 --> 01:09:23,702
Ahh. Thank you.
666
01:09:24,411 --> 01:09:25,579
Uno mas?
667
01:09:29,124 --> 01:09:30,750
John, come on. We gotta get going.
668
01:09:30,834 --> 01:09:33,670
- The marshal's downstairs.
- No, no, Marshal's in there.
669
01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:37,340
Oh, man, John. What'd you do to him?
670
01:09:37,424 --> 01:09:39,009
- Come on. Let's get going.
- No!
671
01:09:39,092 --> 01:09:40,468
I don't wanna ride with you.
672
01:09:40,552 --> 01:09:43,054
Come on, John.
Damn, you're a mean drunk.
673
01:09:44,639 --> 01:09:46,433
- Hi, horsey!
- All right. Shh, shh, shh.
674
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:49,394
- All right, it's time for a "yee-haw."
- Yee-what?
675
01:09:49,436 --> 01:09:51,771
Shh, shh, shh.
Roy O'Bannon special.
676
01:09:51,813 --> 01:09:54,774
We jump off, land on the back
of the horse, yell "yee-haw"
677
01:09:54,816 --> 01:09:57,277
and ride off, all right?
678
01:09:58,028 --> 01:10:00,947
Watch me and do exactly as I do it.
Yee-haw!
679
01:10:07,204 --> 01:10:08,663
Yee-haw!
680
01:10:10,916 --> 01:10:13,501
Okay, hyah! Hyah!
681
01:10:13,710 --> 01:10:16,004
- Hyah! Where's the head?
- John!
682
01:10:17,255 --> 01:10:18,465
John, get up!
683
01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:21,301
Tie 'em up.
684
01:10:21,343 --> 01:10:24,346
What happened to my horse?
Is he dead?
685
01:10:24,971 --> 01:10:26,473
No, but we are, John.
686
01:10:26,514 --> 01:10:29,726
Hi, horsey. You sleeping?
- Get up.
687
01:10:32,312 --> 01:10:33,480
Hmm.
688
01:10:35,273 --> 01:10:38,068
Mighty impressive hardware
you're packin'.
689
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:43,657
Why don't you get your eyes off
my package, you twisted son of a bitch.
690
01:10:48,328 --> 01:10:51,248
- I hope that's him leaving.
- Your turn.
691
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:56,044
Thank you, Mr. Van Cleef.
692
01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:58,838
Well, well. What have we here?
693
01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:03,843
Mr. O'Bannon, I presume.
694
01:11:04,427 --> 01:11:07,180
Can I get a drink of water?
I got cotton mouth. Aah!
695
01:11:07,264 --> 01:11:09,683
Don't mention it.
696
01:11:10,892 --> 01:11:14,020
And this must be
the famous Shanghai Kid.
697
01:11:19,025 --> 01:11:21,569
- Chon Wang?
- Lo Fong?
698
01:11:21,653 --> 01:11:23,780
You remember
your old comrade-in-arms?
699
01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,865
- Hmm?
- I remember a traitor.
700
01:11:25,949 --> 01:11:28,034
I'm sensing
some bad blood here.
701
01:11:28,118 --> 01:11:31,955
- Where is the gold?
- Where's Princess Pei Pei?
702
01:11:32,414 --> 01:11:33,748
Stop.
703
01:11:33,832 --> 01:11:35,917
Come on. We're men.
We're not pinatas.
704
01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:39,504
Okay? And we're really hungover.
We're not trying to be tough guys.
705
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,548
You wanna talk about the gold,
let's talk about the gold.
706
01:11:41,673 --> 01:11:43,091
So, you have my gold?
707
01:11:43,174 --> 01:11:45,427
- Your gold?
- Yes, we have the gold.
708
01:11:46,303 --> 01:11:49,180
- Then where is it?
- The gold's in a safe place.
709
01:11:52,684 --> 01:11:53,893
Is he telling the truth?
710
01:11:59,733 --> 01:12:01,276
No.
711
01:12:01,359 --> 01:12:02,610
Ow!
712
01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:06,573
Nice, John. Way to go.
Way to think on your feet.
713
01:12:06,614 --> 01:12:09,242
He cannot lie.
He is bound by Imperial decree.
714
01:12:09,284 --> 01:12:11,411
Imperial decree.
715
01:12:11,494 --> 01:12:12,662
When are you gonna learn
716
01:12:12,746 --> 01:12:14,331
you're not in China anymore?
717
01:12:15,415 --> 01:12:19,002
He will never learn.
He can only follow orders.
718
01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:24,758
At least I still have my honor.
719
01:12:31,598 --> 01:12:33,767
Slaves have no honor.
720
01:12:35,060 --> 01:12:36,102
No! No!
- Hey!
721
01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:42,942
Now you can never go back to China.
722
01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:49,866
You blew it. You blew it, man.
723
01:12:50,492 --> 01:12:53,620
You do not want to cut
his hair off, trust me.
724
01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:56,164
Nothing personal, boys.
725
01:12:58,750 --> 01:13:00,960
My loyalty is to the emperor.
726
01:13:01,044 --> 01:13:04,214
Yeah, John, I heard
all about the emperor.
727
01:13:05,340 --> 01:13:07,300
Must be a hell of a man.
728
01:13:07,884 --> 01:13:09,803
He's only 12.
729
01:13:11,137 --> 01:13:13,890
Are you kidding me? You're sitting here
with a noose around your neck,
730
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:16,434
ready to die for someone whose balls
haven't even dropped?
731
01:13:18,728 --> 01:13:22,899
By virtue of the authority vested
in me through the territory of Nevada,
732
01:13:22,982 --> 01:13:26,319
I do hereby order these men
to hang by their necks
733
01:13:26,403 --> 01:13:28,196
until their feet quit kicking.
734
01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:37,205
You're goin' to hell, boys,
735
01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:39,541
and your horses are taking you there.
736
01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:41,668
Tighten 'em up.
737
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:44,212
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
738
01:13:44,295 --> 01:13:48,341
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
739
01:13:48,425 --> 01:13:51,428
Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
740
01:13:55,140 --> 01:13:57,016
Hey! Watch it, you little punk.
741
01:13:57,058 --> 01:14:04,899
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
742
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:06,401
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
743
01:14:06,484 --> 01:14:09,529
Hang 'em! Hang 'em!
744
01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:16,911
John, what are you doing?
745
01:14:16,995 --> 01:14:18,705
Uh...
746
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:36,139
What the hell is goin' on here?
Stop those horses!
747
01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:37,390
Stop them!
748
01:14:43,938 --> 01:14:46,316
Pull it! Pull it!
749
01:14:49,694 --> 01:14:50,695
I'm back
750
01:14:53,531 --> 01:14:55,617
I'm back in the saddle again
751
01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:56,784
Help me!
752
01:14:57,535 --> 01:14:59,078
I'm back
753
01:15:01,581 --> 01:15:03,708
I'm back
in the saddle again
754
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,630
Well, don't just stand there!
Go after them!
755
01:15:16,554 --> 01:15:18,932
Will you listen to this creek, John?
756
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:21,267
I've never noticed
what a beautiful melody a creek makes.
757
01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:25,271
I've never taken the damn time.
758
01:15:26,689 --> 01:15:28,691
Look at these mountains
and these trees.
759
01:15:28,775 --> 01:15:30,276
Hell, look at these green trees.
760
01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:31,653
Come here.
I don't even know the names...
761
01:15:31,736 --> 01:15:34,155
We're gonna learn the names
of these green trees. Come here.
762
01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:36,366
I want you to look at these.
763
01:15:37,075 --> 01:15:39,118
Can we not...
John, what are you doing?
764
01:15:39,202 --> 01:15:41,454
Are you still worried about your hair?
765
01:15:41,496 --> 01:15:44,541
John, listen to me. You're very vain.
766
01:15:44,624 --> 01:15:47,627
By the time you're 70,
your queue, your ponytail,
767
01:15:47,669 --> 01:15:49,712
will be as good as new.
768
01:15:49,796 --> 01:15:51,965
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving.
769
01:15:52,048 --> 01:15:54,968
Can we not take two seconds, John?
We just cheated death.
770
01:15:55,009 --> 01:15:58,304
Come on. Let's look at
these mountains for a second.
771
01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:00,557
Okay, let me get my stuff.
772
01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:02,559
- God, you're unbelievable.
- I'm going alone.
773
01:16:08,690 --> 01:16:12,151
What are you...
John, what are you talking about?
774
01:16:12,193 --> 01:16:16,072
- I heard you.
- You heard me. Okay.
775
01:16:16,155 --> 01:16:17,907
At Goldie's.
776
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,536
You said I wasn't your friend.
777
01:16:24,330 --> 01:16:25,999
John...
778
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,918
Hold on a second, John.
I was talking to a girl.
779
01:16:29,002 --> 01:16:30,837
It was...That's taken out of context.
780
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:32,338
- That's not...
- Roy.
781
01:16:32,380 --> 01:16:36,342
You were right.
How could I ever be your friend?
782
01:16:36,843 --> 01:16:38,678
I'm just a Chinaman.
783
01:16:39,721 --> 01:16:42,390
Hold on, John. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it to...
784
01:16:42,473 --> 01:16:43,933
Sayonara, Roy.
785
01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:40,406
Wait here.
786
01:17:53,419 --> 01:17:54,754
Please.
787
01:18:15,692 --> 01:18:17,360
You have come a long way.
788
01:18:18,194 --> 01:18:22,115
I hope the princess you seek
is worthy of such devotion.
789
01:18:24,867 --> 01:18:27,704
It is my duty to bring her home.
790
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:35,294
I even brought her favorite book.
791
01:18:39,382 --> 01:18:41,676
That's very kind of you.
792
01:18:44,178 --> 01:18:46,180
But what if you found the princess
793
01:18:46,264 --> 01:18:49,642
and she did not wish to go back
to the Forbidden City?
794
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,312
Why would she want to stay here?
795
01:18:54,147 --> 01:18:56,774
Maybe she can do more
for the people here
796
01:18:58,651 --> 01:19:00,820
than she could back in China.
797
01:19:08,453 --> 01:19:09,829
Princess Pei Pei.
798
01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:16,502
Please, don't draw attention.
799
01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:21,340
Please. Stand up!
800
01:19:21,424 --> 01:19:23,342
Princess, you have to come with me.
801
01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:26,721
I cannot. Fong cannot find me missing.
802
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:30,016
Princess, I cannot leave you here.
803
01:19:34,896 --> 01:19:37,106
Please, stand up!
804
01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,568
Don't bow! Get up!
805
01:19:41,861 --> 01:19:43,279
Get up!
806
01:19:44,572 --> 01:19:46,199
You must go.
807
01:19:46,866 --> 01:19:50,369
If I leave,
Fong will begin to kill the others.
808
01:19:50,411 --> 01:19:52,955
It is my duty to bring you home.
809
01:19:54,999 --> 01:19:56,042
I command you to go.
810
01:20:01,339 --> 01:20:02,381
Go!
811
01:20:03,216 --> 01:20:04,550
Go!
812
01:21:11,951 --> 01:21:13,619
Reach for the sky, baldy!
813
01:21:13,703 --> 01:21:15,872
That's right. It's Roy.
814
01:21:15,955 --> 01:21:17,665
Am I interrupting?
815
01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:20,543
I followed you. So what?
816
01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:23,337
What am I supposed to do,
let you wander off? You're a greenhorn.
817
01:21:23,421 --> 01:21:25,548
You'll get killed out here.
818
01:21:27,341 --> 01:21:29,886
Come on! We gotta adios
out of here, partner! Come on!
819
01:21:29,969 --> 01:21:32,471
Hyah! You gotta stick with me.
820
01:21:34,432 --> 01:21:36,475
Don't forget, we got a princess to save.
821
01:23:35,052 --> 01:23:38,347
Give my regards
to the emperor, Princess.
822
01:23:58,576 --> 01:24:01,328
- Chon Wang?
- Chon Wang?
823
01:24:01,412 --> 01:24:02,621
Chon Wang?
824
01:24:07,126 --> 01:24:09,670
That's right,
Johnny Wayne is here.
825
01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:12,673
Hey, it's me.
826
01:24:13,382 --> 01:24:15,384
Why did you cut his hair?
827
01:24:15,468 --> 01:24:17,803
I tried to warn you,
but you wouldn't listen.
828
01:24:17,887 --> 01:24:20,056
Go on, drop the gun.
829
01:24:20,139 --> 01:24:21,974
Now, slide it over.
830
01:24:31,984 --> 01:24:33,152
Is that her?
831
01:24:34,528 --> 01:24:36,530
She's pretty.
832
01:24:37,740 --> 01:24:38,824
Grab her.
833
01:24:40,451 --> 01:24:43,287
Come on. We'll take it from here, guys.
834
01:25:06,852 --> 01:25:09,021
John, what... John, get up.
835
01:25:09,105 --> 01:25:11,190
What are you...
I thought we were past this.
836
01:25:11,232 --> 01:25:13,025
Come on, John.
837
01:25:15,611 --> 01:25:18,781
Do you see? He will always be a slave.
838
01:25:35,256 --> 01:25:36,966
This is the West,
839
01:25:39,385 --> 01:25:40,970
not the East.
840
01:25:44,056 --> 01:25:46,350
And the sun may rise
841
01:25:47,059 --> 01:25:49,061
where we come from,
842
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:52,648
but here is where it sets.
843
01:25:56,110 --> 01:25:59,655
You want me to translate?
The princess stays.
844
01:26:00,948 --> 01:26:02,992
The princess stays.
845
01:26:03,576 --> 01:26:06,412
I grab the gold, you marry the princess.
846
01:26:06,453 --> 01:26:09,582
We both hang Fong, call it a day.
Mission accomplished.
847
01:26:12,710 --> 01:26:14,420
Well, well.
848
01:26:17,423 --> 01:26:20,134
Nice to see we're all churchgoers.
849
01:26:22,094 --> 01:26:24,138
Son of a bitch! With my own guns!
850
01:26:25,514 --> 01:26:27,725
Sweet, ain't it?
851
01:26:36,817 --> 01:26:40,321
How about that? It's a Mexican standoff.
852
01:26:41,780 --> 01:26:44,408
Only we ain't got no Mexicans.
853
01:27:03,719 --> 01:27:04,803
No!
854
01:27:06,263 --> 01:27:08,015
Princess Pei Pei!
855
01:28:22,798 --> 01:28:25,050
- I hit you?
No.
856
01:28:25,092 --> 01:28:27,594
But you're gettin' really close.
857
01:28:27,678 --> 01:28:30,222
You've almost killed me,
like, 17 times already.
858
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:35,602
Eighteen, 19, 20!
859
01:28:37,271 --> 01:28:39,273
You're on fire today!
860
01:30:20,999 --> 01:30:22,918
How do you survive out here?
861
01:30:23,585 --> 01:30:26,130
What's that supposed to mean?
These aren't my...
862
01:30:26,505 --> 01:30:28,090
These guns are really weird.
863
01:31:03,292 --> 01:31:05,043
Oh, man.
864
01:31:08,005 --> 01:31:10,215
Stay low!
865
01:31:46,084 --> 01:31:48,837
Maybe we should let bygones
be bygones.
866
01:31:48,921 --> 01:31:50,214
You got off some good shots.
867
01:31:51,048 --> 01:31:55,469
I got off some good ones.
Let's call it a tie.
868
01:31:55,552 --> 01:31:57,554
What's the matter, O'Bannon?
Out of bullets?
869
01:31:57,930 --> 01:32:00,015
No, I got one left.
870
01:32:01,558 --> 01:32:03,435
Tell you what I'll do.
871
01:32:03,769 --> 01:32:07,314
I'll take out all my bullets but one.
872
01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:10,108
And that way, we'll be even. How's that?
873
01:32:11,652 --> 01:32:13,987
Okay. That sounds fair.
874
01:32:14,863 --> 01:32:16,114
You'd do that for me?
875
01:32:17,449 --> 01:32:18,617
Oh, yeah.
876
01:32:22,329 --> 01:32:24,206
You bet I would.
877
01:33:45,370 --> 01:33:46,872
We come out on three.
878
01:33:47,372 --> 01:33:49,916
Okay, but... But let me count.
879
01:33:52,753 --> 01:33:55,297
Fight with honor. Okay.
880
01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:57,007
Fight with... Okay. One!
881
01:33:58,050 --> 01:34:00,969
Two! Two and a half!
882
01:34:01,053 --> 01:34:02,596
Two and seven-eighths!
883
01:34:02,721 --> 01:34:03,889
Three!
884
01:34:24,242 --> 01:34:26,703
How the hell did that happen?
885
01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:08,870
It's a miracle.
886
01:35:10,706 --> 01:35:13,125
I am invincible.
887
01:35:14,751 --> 01:35:16,420
Roy!
888
01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:20,006
Invincible!
889
01:36:07,512 --> 01:36:11,183
- Now it's time for you to die.
- Adios, partner.
890
01:36:42,923 --> 01:36:44,466
Wow.
891
01:37:02,150 --> 01:37:04,069
Roy!
892
01:37:13,286 --> 01:37:15,163
He took the gold.
893
01:37:29,469 --> 01:37:32,514
Is that all you care about, is the gold?
894
01:37:32,597 --> 01:37:34,099
Shame on you.
895
01:37:35,225 --> 01:37:38,478
There's more to life than money.
I hope you learn that one day.
896
01:37:38,562 --> 01:37:40,605
What happened?
897
01:37:40,647 --> 01:37:43,733
What? Nothing, nothing.
I just killed him. How'd you do?
898
01:37:43,775 --> 01:37:44,943
How?
899
01:37:44,985 --> 01:37:46,570
What do you mean, how?
I shot him with my gun.
900
01:37:46,611 --> 01:37:48,572
Come on. Tell me the truth.
901
01:37:48,613 --> 01:37:51,616
It was unbelievable. You missed
a miracle. I had one bullet left.
902
01:37:51,700 --> 01:37:53,201
He had, like, a million left.
903
01:37:53,285 --> 01:37:55,120
He lied to me and told me
that he only had one, too.
904
01:37:55,203 --> 01:37:57,122
But... But when... But when he...
905
01:38:09,759 --> 01:38:11,803
- She's staying?
- Yes.
906
01:38:13,138 --> 01:38:15,807
- Can I stand?
- Yes.
907
01:38:19,060 --> 01:38:22,188
Reach for the sky, O'Bannon!
908
01:38:22,564 --> 01:38:25,317
That's my line. He stole my gang,
he's stealing my lines.
909
01:38:25,358 --> 01:38:26,943
- That's unbelievable.
- Roy! Roy!
910
01:38:27,319 --> 01:38:28,653
Get back!
911
01:38:29,821 --> 01:38:31,156
Stop, stop. It's Wallace.
912
01:38:31,573 --> 01:38:32,949
Hey, ROY,
913
01:38:32,991 --> 01:38:36,661
we know you been moonlightin' on us
with that old yellow fella from the train!
914
01:38:36,995 --> 01:38:38,747
You guys, you stay here.
This isn't your battle.
915
01:38:39,414 --> 01:38:42,375
No, we stick together. We are partners.
916
01:38:45,295 --> 01:38:47,005
That's beautiful.
917
01:38:52,385 --> 01:38:53,595
You go out the back door.
918
01:38:54,179 --> 01:38:56,598
- No.
- Don't worry, Princess.
919
01:38:56,681 --> 01:38:58,892
I promise you, I will see you again.
920
01:39:00,018 --> 01:39:02,187
That which you have promised,
921
01:39:02,729 --> 01:39:04,522
you must perform.
922
01:39:19,996 --> 01:39:21,206
- Get out of the way!
- Why?
923
01:39:21,873 --> 01:39:23,667
- Come on!
- Why? What are you...
924
01:39:25,543 --> 01:39:29,047
- What are you doing? Are you crazy?
- No, John, stop, stop.
925
01:39:29,506 --> 01:39:31,007
They can't touch me.
926
01:39:31,049 --> 01:39:33,718
Something happened back there.
it was a miracle.
927
01:39:33,802 --> 01:39:34,886
There's no way...
928
01:39:34,970 --> 01:39:36,930
Hey, smart-ass!
Do you hear me?
929
01:39:37,347 --> 01:39:39,975
Time's up, O'Bannon!
It's the end of the line!
930
01:39:40,308 --> 01:39:42,102
We can take these guys.
931
01:39:42,185 --> 01:39:43,645
Yep, we can take them.
932
01:39:44,270 --> 01:39:47,649
Are you comin' out or ain't you?
933
01:39:48,358 --> 01:39:49,401
Gun.
934
01:39:59,744 --> 01:40:02,247
You really are the Shanghai Kid.
935
01:40:05,583 --> 01:40:07,669
Nice riding with you, partner.
936
01:40:19,180 --> 01:40:21,224
We go out on three. I count.
937
01:40:21,766 --> 01:40:23,560
No, I count.
938
01:40:24,102 --> 01:40:26,021
We'll both count.
939
01:40:26,688 --> 01:40:29,315
One, two, three!
940
01:40:40,035 --> 01:40:43,621
- lndians! Look out!
- No! My family! My family!
941
01:40:50,462 --> 01:40:53,131
- Friends. Brothers!
Roy!
942
01:40:53,339 --> 01:40:58,136
I gotta tell ya, we always
figured you for a dumbshit,
943
01:40:58,803 --> 01:41:01,848
but, uh, we was thinkin' maybe you
wanna come back and rejoin the gang.
944
01:41:02,557 --> 01:41:05,351
- So, uh, what do you say?
Yeah, what do you say?
945
01:41:05,435 --> 01:41:06,644
I think I'm just gonna wing it.
946
01:41:07,520 --> 01:41:08,646
All right.
947
01:41:08,730 --> 01:41:10,648
And you are goin' to jail.
- That works, too.
948
01:41:14,486 --> 01:41:16,029
How, kimosabe!
949
01:41:16,404 --> 01:41:18,406
How, kimosabe!
950
01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:30,460
Oh, it's nice to be standing here
next to you.
951
01:41:30,502 --> 01:41:33,129
I don't think I've ever gotten
a chance to thank you for...
952
01:41:33,379 --> 01:41:36,049
For saving us so many times.
953
01:41:36,132 --> 01:41:39,511
I wish you could understand what...
I feel like there's this gap between us.
954
01:41:39,594 --> 01:41:41,888
It's like, I'm a cowboy, you're an Indian.
955
01:41:41,971 --> 01:41:43,723
You say "Wampum," I say "money."
956
01:41:43,807 --> 01:41:45,475
At a certain point, I just think...
957
01:41:49,979 --> 01:41:52,232
Shut up, Roy. You talk too much.
958
01:41:52,857 --> 01:41:55,318
Did... Did... She just...
959
01:42:07,956 --> 01:42:12,377
There she is, right on time,
carrying a big, fat payroll.
960
01:42:13,962 --> 01:42:16,506
Oh.
961
01:42:17,590 --> 01:42:19,843
I don't know if I'll ever
get used to this one.
962
01:42:22,595 --> 01:42:24,222
Don't worry. You'll get used to it.
963
01:42:24,514 --> 01:42:27,142
I can guarantee you, we won't get half
as many girls being lawmen.
964
01:42:27,225 --> 01:42:29,310
I know we're spoken for, but...
965
01:42:29,394 --> 01:42:31,396
You never know what's gonna
happen in a relationship.
966
01:42:33,189 --> 01:42:36,651
I gotta get rid of my outlaw name.
That's not gonna work anymore.
967
01:42:36,734 --> 01:42:39,445
Really? What would you call yourself?
968
01:42:40,405 --> 01:42:43,825
I don't know. I mean,
my real name's Wyatt Earp, but...
969
01:42:44,159 --> 01:42:47,579
Earp? That's a terrible name
for a cowboy.
970
01:42:47,620 --> 01:42:50,123
- Why?
- Bad.
971
01:42:50,248 --> 01:42:51,624
- Really?
- Bad!
972
01:42:51,749 --> 01:42:53,960
And John Wayne's
a great cowboy name?
973
01:42:54,043 --> 01:42:55,170
Roy, look.
974
01:42:55,670 --> 01:42:56,921
There they are.
975
01:42:57,797 --> 01:43:01,759
Yep. Look at those amateurs.
That's my move!
976
01:43:02,427 --> 01:43:04,596
Come on, Roy. Let's go say "howdy."
977
01:43:04,721 --> 01:43:06,723
Let's go! Hyah! Hyah!
978
01:43:06,764 --> 01:43:08,349
- Yee-haw!
- Yee-haw!
979
01:43:16,274 --> 01:43:17,775
- Yee-haw!
- Yee-haw!
980
01:43:24,949 --> 01:43:26,159
Scene up.
981
01:43:27,869 --> 01:43:31,372
That which you have promised,
you must perform.
982
01:43:33,208 --> 01:43:35,126
Hello.
983
01:43:35,376 --> 01:43:37,879
He was part of your "rushimiant..."
984
01:43:37,962 --> 01:43:39,422
What? Regiment.
985
01:43:39,631 --> 01:43:41,382
He's one of your bandits.
986
01:43:41,466 --> 01:43:43,426
He's one of your... He's one of your...
987
01:43:43,635 --> 01:43:46,638
He was part of your regiment
of "dentists."
988
01:43:46,679 --> 01:43:48,640
Bandits. Dentists?
989
01:43:52,769 --> 01:43:54,812
WOW! Shit!
990
01:43:59,275 --> 01:44:01,569
He didn't teeth brush this morning.
991
01:44:01,653 --> 01:44:04,072
- Lose this thing, too, I'm gonna cut off...
- No!
992
01:44:09,869 --> 01:44:11,496
I can't do stunts, man.
993
01:44:11,829 --> 01:44:15,500
Because I'm gonna be a cowboy, baby
994
01:44:17,877 --> 01:44:20,630
What's this princess like?
995
01:44:26,386 --> 01:44:29,180
I got air bubbles coming out of my thing.
996
01:44:30,014 --> 01:44:31,557
Uno mas, please.
997
01:44:34,435 --> 01:44:37,814
Uno mas...
998
01:44:39,065 --> 01:44:40,692
Thanks, Fido.
999
01:44:55,456 --> 01:44:58,710
One, two, three!
1000
01:45:00,670 --> 01:45:02,171
Shit!
1001
01:45:06,843 --> 01:45:10,346
Thank you so much, Princess.
You're so good.
1002
01:45:10,388 --> 01:45:13,766
Princess! Oh, I love you so much.
1003
01:45:14,058 --> 01:45:17,061
I'm talking to you!
Turn around!
1004
01:45:17,145 --> 01:45:18,980
Ask me if I give a shit.
1005
01:45:29,407 --> 01:45:32,243
I might walk a little funny
but my walk is me
1006
01:45:32,327 --> 01:45:34,954
I might stutter when I talk
but I say what I see
1007
01:45:35,038 --> 01:45:37,915
I don't agree with every other
little thing that's proven
1008
01:45:37,999 --> 01:45:40,710
I do a lot of things
that I shouldn't be doin'
1009
01:45:40,752 --> 01:45:43,212
I ruin everything
you might've had in mind
1010
01:45:43,254 --> 01:45:46,174
I'm a consistent, belligerent
solidified mind
1011
01:45:46,257 --> 01:45:48,718
Rhinestone freak
Suburban style
1012
01:45:48,760 --> 01:45:51,679
I ain't got no money
and I got no car
1013
01:45:51,763 --> 01:45:54,265
I might make par
if it don't take much
1014
01:45:54,307 --> 01:45:57,060
I gotta ride very far
'cause I ride on luck
1015
01:45:57,101 --> 01:45:59,604
I stay pretty stuck
in a rut like I should
1016
01:45:59,687 --> 01:46:02,607
And I do it for the love
of everything's that's still good
1017
01:46:02,690 --> 01:46:05,026
I don't know why I come here
1018
01:46:05,109 --> 01:46:08,071
But I know I'll never leave
1019
01:46:08,112 --> 01:46:10,948
It's the only place
I wanna be
1020
01:46:11,032 --> 01:46:13,409
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1021
01:46:13,451 --> 01:46:15,870
I don't know why I come here
1022
01:46:15,953 --> 01:46:18,956
But I know I'll never leave
1023
01:46:18,998 --> 01:46:21,793
It's the only place
I wanna be
1024
01:46:21,834 --> 01:46:24,379
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1025
01:46:35,139 --> 01:46:37,725
I'm a long way gone
but I ain't short-lived
1026
01:46:37,809 --> 01:46:40,728
I got knee-deep pockets
that leak like a sieve
1027
01:46:40,812 --> 01:46:43,231
I give one tenth throughout
the course of the night
1028
01:46:43,314 --> 01:46:45,983
And if I don't go home
then I did things right
1029
01:46:46,067 --> 01:46:48,653
I'd like to settle down
but I ain't that guy
1030
01:46:48,694 --> 01:46:51,656
'Cause everything I ever did
I always did on the fly
1031
01:46:51,739 --> 01:46:54,158
I stay stuck in the rut like I should
1032
01:46:54,200 --> 01:46:57,078
You know, I do it for the love
of everything that's still good
1033
01:46:57,161 --> 01:46:59,497
I don't know why I come here
1034
01:46:59,539 --> 01:47:02,625
But I know I'll never leave
1035
01:47:02,667 --> 01:47:05,294
It's the only place
I wanna be
1036
01:47:05,336 --> 01:47:08,005
Yeah, yeah, yeah