1 00:00:29,274 --> 00:00:32,303 [ Chuckling ] You lucky, 2 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:35,907 lucky people. 3 00:00:35,816 --> 00:00:37,024 Yeah, you. [ Laughs ] 4 00:00:37,607 --> 00:00:39,357 Yes, you. 5 00:00:42,066 --> 00:00:43,441 Fuckin' away. 6 00:00:44,732 --> 00:00:46,941 Aren't you? Fuckin' away. 7 00:00:47,816 --> 00:00:50,774 Like you're late for evolution or something. 8 00:00:51,607 --> 00:00:55,731 Hmm? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone's at it. 9 00:00:53,666 --> 00:00:57,762 I know. Everybody's at it except me. 10 00:00:57,837 --> 00:01:01,137 The prince of paranoia. Yeah. 11 00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:03,230 You see, at the moment, I am dealing... 12 00:01:03,309 --> 00:01:08,178 with a monumental case of Mr. Floppy. 13 00:01:07,732 --> 00:01:09,524 And it's killing me. 14 00:01:10,357 --> 00:01:14,149 Softly. Yeah. Funny, isn't it? 15 00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:18,524 [ Jip Narrating ] Well, that's me, I'm afraid. Stressed to the max. 16 00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,392 A legend in my own ego. 17 00:01:18,649 --> 00:01:21,357 But if you think I'm fucked up, you should check out my friends. 18 00:01:23,482 --> 00:01:26,024 I can't stop thinking about my girlfriend fucking other men. 19 00:01:27,066 --> 00:01:29,316 It's doing my nut in. 20 00:01:29,899 --> 00:01:32,232 Every bloke she looks at I think she fancies. 21 00:01:33,399 --> 00:01:36,524 Even the thought of her having sex with her past boyfriends gets to me. 22 00:01:37,149 --> 00:01:39,999 Whether they turned her on more or whether their dick was bigger. 23 00:01:40,111 --> 00:01:41,732 It makes me feel inadequate, you know what I mean? 24 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:43,332 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop is the best of best mates. 25 00:01:43,649 --> 00:01:46,649 He's an absolute craftsman, man. 26 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,349 We're gonna know each other for the rest of our lives. 27 00:01:49,449 --> 00:01:51,565 We're both as fucked up as each other. 28 00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:54,441 You know, I love his sincerity. He's the coolest person I know. 29 00:01:57,524 --> 00:02:00,524 Alright, I'm having a sub-life crisis. 30 00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:04,566 I feel like a character on EastEnders ‒ the come-down version. 31 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,857 What the fuck am I doing in this job? 32 00:02:09,857 --> 00:02:13,348 I wanna go to college, but I fucked up the interview. 33 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:17,920 When they asked me why philosophy interested me, why didn't I say something like, 34 00:02:17,998 --> 00:02:21,559 "Philosophy is about the meaning of life,"' instead of... 35 00:02:21,635 --> 00:02:24,297 "I've been having serious trouble trying to work life out, 36 00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:26,896 and I'm now prepared to listen to other people's theories." 37 00:02:28,608 --> 00:02:30,735 [ Jip Narrating ] Now Nina is Koop's girlfriend. 38 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,607 I've seen her around the clubs for years. 39 00:02:32,816 --> 00:02:37,066 A complete hedonist, but totally down to earth. 40 00:02:35,548 --> 00:02:39,042 No edge to her at all. I trust her with my best mate. 41 00:02:39,555 --> 00:02:43,191 Nina's the most together out of all of us. She's an absolute mistress. 42 00:02:45,316 --> 00:02:48,376 Why would I want a man? They're all emotionally retarded, 43 00:02:48,453 --> 00:02:51,149 egotistical pricks who fuck with your head. 44 00:02:51,222 --> 00:02:53,213 They try to control you and make you feel like... 45 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:55,759 the whore of Babylon if you wear a miniskirt. 46 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,990 I'm an independent girl who wears lipstick because she wants to, 47 00:02:59,063 --> 00:03:01,190 not because men find it more attractive. 48 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,733 I'm fine being single. I am! 49 00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:05,735 Peachy fucking creamy. 50 00:03:05,803 --> 00:03:08,772 [ Jip Narrating ] This is Lulu. She's a full-on club minx. 51 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,808 Major head banger. 52 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,402 We've known each other for years. Some people find her a bit intimidating. 53 00:03:14,479 --> 00:03:15,732 It's purely social camouflage. 54 00:03:16,107 --> 00:03:18,415 Recently we became clubbing partners. 55 00:03:18,483 --> 00:03:21,274 And that has helped me get to know the real Lulu. She's a pussycat. 56 00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:27,232 See me? I'm quicker on the draw than Jesse James, my son. 57 00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:29,816 Eh, eh? [ Snickering ] 58 00:03:31,191 --> 00:03:34,607 I'm sending smoke signals Tonto style, you know what I mean? 59 00:03:35,857 --> 00:03:38,023 I wouldn't say no to a girlfriend, you know what I mean? 60 00:03:38,024 --> 00:03:41,066 How nice it would be to drink the white wine from the furry cup, you know? 61 00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:45,732 I just can't be arsed with the hassle part of the dating game, do you know what I mean? 62 00:03:46,232 --> 00:03:49,066 I just ‒ Having a relationship just ain't Top of the Pops at the moment, you know? 63 00:03:49,607 --> 00:03:51,681 I'm having sex with music, mate. 64 00:03:51,749 --> 00:03:53,482 And believe me, I can go all night. 65 00:03:53,899 --> 00:03:56,100 [ Jip Narrating ] I met Moff in a warehouse party last summer. 66 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,277 We've been mates ever since. 67 00:03:58,356 --> 00:04:01,723 He got moved down here when his dad got promoted to superintendent. 68 00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:06,059 Now Moff is the biggest pill monster I know. I love him, but he's off his tits. 69 00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:09,531 I swear on my mother's life, 70 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,899 I'm having the best time being off my pickle... 71 00:04:12,970 --> 00:04:16,167 and feeling the music. 72 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,698 You ‒ You-you know what I mean, yeah? 73 00:04:19,777 --> 00:04:22,507 Cushty. I knew you wouldn't let me down. I knew it. 74 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:28,999 [ Playing: Fatboy Slim ‒ Build It Up, Tear It Down ] 75 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:40,250 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 76 00:04:40,255 --> 00:04:44,500 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 77 00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:48,030 [3] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, b-b-b... 78 00:04:48,035 --> 00:04:50,833 Build it up 79 00:04:50,905 --> 00:04:54,340 Tear it down 80 00:04:54,409 --> 00:04:57,674 Build it up 81 00:04:57,744 --> 00:05:01,272 Tear it down 82 00:05:02,115 --> 00:05:06,505 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 83 00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:10,755 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 84 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:15,275 [3] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. 85 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:46,500 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 86 00:05:46,505 --> 00:05:50,505 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 87 00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:54,510 [3] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 88 00:05:54,515 --> 00:05:59,865 [4] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, b-b-b... 89 00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:02,668 Build it up 90 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:06,175 Tear it down 91 00:06:06,244 --> 00:06:09,509 Build it up 92 00:06:09,579 --> 00:06:13,107 Tear it down 93 00:06:13,716 --> 00:06:16,895 [1] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 94 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:20,081 [2] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce 95 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:27,500 [ The song slightly ends (fades out). ] 96 00:06:29,107 --> 00:06:31,065 [ Jip Narrating ] God's having a laugh, man. 97 00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:34,100 He keeps digging up these social fossils from my past, 98 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,800 disguising them as paying customers for me to deal with. 99 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Maybe, it's to remind me that memory's overrated. 100 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:41,500 -[ Girl Giggling ] - Oh, my God. 101 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,899 It's Karen Benson. I don't believe this. 102 00:06:44,107 --> 00:06:47,235 I failed the physical with her. Oh, please, just go away. 103 00:06:48,745 --> 00:06:52,146 Fuck! She's coming over. Oh, fuck. I'm starting to shake. 104 00:06:52,215 --> 00:06:54,945 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be cool, Jip. Nothing happened, remember? 105 00:06:55,018 --> 00:06:57,009 Come on. Act like an adult and be false. 106 00:06:57,087 --> 00:06:59,681 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Here it comes. 107 00:06:59,756 --> 00:07:02,919 Here comes the pain. Hold tight. Oh, my God! 108 00:07:02,993 --> 00:07:05,689 - All right? - All right. 109 00:07:05,762 --> 00:07:08,663 [ Cash Register Beeping ] 110 00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:13,102 - Why didn't you want sex with me? - I did. 111 00:07:13,170 --> 00:07:15,104 I-I did want sex with you. 112 00:07:15,172 --> 00:07:17,333 So what was the problem? 113 00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:19,534 I was just terrified of losing my erection. 114 00:07:19,609 --> 00:07:22,703 - He couldn't get it up for the birds! - The birds! 115 00:07:22,779 --> 00:07:25,714 - He couldn't get it up for the birds! - The birds! 116 00:07:25,782 --> 00:07:29,013 He must be a fucking queer! 117 00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:32,920 He couldn't get it up for the birds! The birds! 118 00:07:32,989 --> 00:07:35,355 I'm not gay or anything, I-- 119 00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:37,359 I'm just having a bit of a head fuck. 120 00:07:37,427 --> 00:07:41,864 - So why didn't you say so? - I was a bit embarrassed. 121 00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:46,562 Thanks. Bye. 122 00:07:46,636 --> 00:07:48,570 See ya. 123 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:57,357 - It was an accident. - Some fucking accident. - So you just gonna throw it all away? 124 00:07:57,399 --> 00:08:00,440 You threw it away when you had your little accident with Yvonne. 125 00:08:00,441 --> 00:08:03,107 - Fuck Yvonne. - No, fuck you! 126 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:08,648 You can't just take the piss outta people and then come back and expected to be Terry and fucking June. 127 00:08:08,649 --> 00:08:10,691 Come on. I'm sorry. 128 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:14,274 [ Sigh ] Write a song, Tyler. I don't care. 129 00:08:14,649 --> 00:08:17,066 Good luck with your life, 'cause you gonna fucking need it. 130 00:08:17,232 --> 00:08:19,325 This is the third guy who's fucked me over in a row. 131 00:08:19,401 --> 00:08:22,564 It's not you, Lu. You're just a fucking arsehole magnet. 132 00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:25,341 [ Jip Narrating ] Lulu didn't enroll for a degree in social masturbation, 133 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:27,315 but she's getting one anyway. 134 00:08:27,316 --> 00:08:30,065 Matt and Luke are post-Goa-modernists. 135 00:08:30,066 --> 00:08:33,898 They live in a canteen armed only with their Golden Virginia and Blue Rizla+. 136 00:08:33,899 --> 00:08:39,149 Yacking endlessly about that psychadelic clichés and how being black is a state of mind, yeah? 137 00:08:39,274 --> 00:08:41,700 Aah, and they just got back from Amsterdam. 138 00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:43,941 Designer-poor and white-boy-dread posse. 139 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,228 Fucking space invaders. 140 00:08:47,302 --> 00:08:49,236 - How's it going? - Downhill. 141 00:08:49,304 --> 00:08:51,238 Right, cool. 142 00:08:51,306 --> 00:08:53,774 - So, how was your trip? - Ah, well. 143 00:08:53,842 --> 00:08:55,776 The theory of the 'Dam is, yeah, life's for living. 144 00:08:55,844 --> 00:09:00,338 So just sit down, skin up, be blot. We chilled out in the red-light district. 145 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:05,284 - Everyone's blazing away, smoking trees of weed. - Word to the "mummyfucker." 146 00:09:05,354 --> 00:09:07,754 Our last night there, we were sharing a skunk, 147 00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,757 chillin' with these two massive Rastas. 148 00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:12,794 Nobody said a word. We just sat there for three hours going up in smoke. 149 00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:17,723 Nodding our heads to the dub reggae that warmed the place. 150 00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:22,600 The base line was so deep, you could feel the vibrations in Jamaica. 151 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:29,902 - Yo, what's up? - Hey, nice, nice. 152 00:09:29,978 --> 00:09:31,912 - Any new hip-hop, man? - Yeah. 153 00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:36,076 Eh, I got some smoking West-Coast flow just landed. Raw as botulism, mate. 154 00:09:36,151 --> 00:09:38,083 Now, fuck that West Coast shit. 155 00:09:38,150 --> 00:09:40,914 I want some hard-core East Coast flavor beat. You know what I mean? 156 00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:44,078 Well, why didn't you say so? Fat beats. Armageddon on the streets. 157 00:09:44,155 --> 00:09:46,090 We're inundated with the shit, "bra." 158 00:09:46,158 --> 00:09:48,150 Eh, we had anymore hard core, we'd get arrested, you know what I mean? 159 00:09:48,227 --> 00:09:50,993 Yeah, high. 160 00:09:51,065 --> 00:09:54,501 [ Jip Narrating ] Now Koop's on the pulse, but he's a serious vinyl pusher. 161 00:09:54,568 --> 00:09:57,162 Getting the kids hooked, hustling with style. 162 00:09:57,238 --> 00:10:01,503 This... was recorded by a posse of crackheads on death row, right? 163 00:10:01,575 --> 00:10:05,977 So all them little interludes of prison noises and that, they're for real. 164 00:10:06,046 --> 00:10:08,275 They call themselves The Itchy Trigger Finger "Nigaz." 165 00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:11,249 - The itchy what? - The Itchy Trigger Finger "Nigaz." 166 00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:13,785 [ Rap music playing: Grim ‒ My Last Request ] ...Success with falling in New York is amazing... 167 00:10:13,854 --> 00:10:16,253 ...Nine Glock cocked ‒ cops? Fuck cops, my block... 168 00:10:16,323 --> 00:10:19,018 ...Execute, rip n tear, prepare electric chair... 169 00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:21,823 ...For the villainous, halfway crooked crimes are silliness... 170 00:10:21,895 --> 00:10:24,729 ...The barrenous with the venomous, tantrums so scandalous... 171 00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:27,028 ...Motherfuckers can't handle ‒ knock them like Rambo... 172 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,967 ...Still caged ‒ with strength to go head-up for days nigga (Yeeeaaah). - Yeah! 173 00:10:30,037 --> 00:10:32,470 [ Music continues ] ...In despair as I'm sittin' in this chair 'bout to die... 174 00:10:32,539 --> 00:10:35,065 ...In jail a long time ‒ no lie ‒ can't cry... 175 00:10:35,142 --> 00:10:37,837 ...A lot of things are runnin' through my mind ‒ mostly crime... 176 00:10:37,912 --> 00:10:41,142 ...My last request be one more chance to say my rhyme... 177 00:10:41,214 --> 00:10:43,307 I'll take that shit, man. That shit is real. 178 00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:46,318 Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Hey. Can't be missed. Twenty quid. 179 00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:49,287 - Twenty quid? - Yeah, man. Eh. 180 00:10:49,355 --> 00:10:52,256 You know like when the price of artists' work goes up when they die, yeah? 181 00:10:52,325 --> 00:10:55,262 Well, the price of hip-hop albums go up when the gangsters get locked down. 182 00:10:55,328 --> 00:10:57,559 Hey, when they get the chair, the price'll go into orbit, mate. 183 00:10:57,631 --> 00:11:00,998 - Is it? - Look, it's going to be banned. 184 00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:04,195 So I'd nab it now before some other hip-hopjunkie does. You know what I mean? 185 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:06,330 - Yeah, all right. - All right, nice. 186 00:11:06,407 --> 00:11:08,499 Nice one. Yeah, safe. 187 00:11:08,575 --> 00:11:10,509 All right. 188 00:11:13,813 --> 00:11:15,748 Any new jungle in, guy? 189 00:11:15,815 --> 00:11:19,876 I've got the Tarzan and Jane of jungle just swung in on the vine this morning, mate. 190 00:11:19,953 --> 00:11:22,581 I'm telling you, 191 00:11:22,655 --> 00:11:25,022 this could turn Hare Krishna into a bad boy. 192 00:11:32,232 --> 00:11:36,669 Mmm! Jungle is massive in any place! Make a disgrace! 193 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,068 [ Jungle music playing: Aphrodite ‒ Stalker ] ...Easy, man! Easy!... 194 00:11:39,738 --> 00:11:42,932 [ Indistinct Chattering ] 195 00:11:42,309 --> 00:11:44,743 Cardiff massive! Cardiff massive! 196 00:11:47,843 --> 00:11:49,680 [ Indistinct Chattering ] 197 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,141 Ai! Ai! Ai! 198 00:11:55,217 --> 00:11:57,446 Bounce to the beat! Bounce, bounce to the beat! 199 00:11:57,518 --> 00:11:59,612 Brutal! 200 00:12:03,458 --> 00:12:05,391 Fucking hell. 201 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,518 Fucking hate this job, man. 202 00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:10,257 [ Exhaling ] Fuck. 203 00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:14,768 We spend nine hours a day, five days a week incarcerated in this... 204 00:12:14,837 --> 00:12:17,100 wanky, fucking store... 205 00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:19,605 having to act like... C3PO... 206 00:12:19,674 --> 00:12:21,766 to any twat that wants to condescend to us. 207 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:25,006 Do you know what I mean? We have to brown-nose the customers, 208 00:12:25,079 --> 00:12:27,946 then we get abused by some mini fucking Hitler... 209 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,576 who just gives us stick all day. 210 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:34,212 What the hell do you think you're doing... 211 00:12:34,289 --> 00:12:36,882 just standing around and talking? 212 00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:40,087 If you wanna work in this firm, 213 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,458 then wake up and get real. 214 00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:44,759 Now, tidy up the T-shirts, 215 00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:48,131 stack the jeans and put them in color-coordinated piles. 216 00:12:48,203 --> 00:12:51,501 Take this as your final warning! 217 00:12:51,573 --> 00:12:55,531 [ Grunting ] 218 00:13:00,482 --> 00:13:02,700 [ Jip Narrating ] Now I take the corporate cock shafting like the next person... 219 00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:05,451 because I need to pay the rent. 220 00:13:05,191 --> 00:13:08,000 But if you ask me, the Antichrist has been with us for a long time... 221 00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:11,389 and he means business, big business. 222 00:13:41,482 --> 00:13:43,609 - All right, Nin? - Yep. 223 00:13:44,149 --> 00:13:47,315 [ Jip Narrating ] Nina's boss is a closet human. He desperately wants to get into Nina. 224 00:13:47,316 --> 00:13:51,774 He slides around the shop floor fueled by the bad sperm that pours from every orifice. 225 00:13:52,816 --> 00:13:55,995 - You looking after my meat? - Oh, that was funny. 226 00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:59,260 - Well, I'm a funny guy. - Yeah, you should have your own series. 227 00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:04,361 - Come on, Nin, loosen up. I don't bite. - You sure? 228 00:14:06,441 --> 00:14:08,941 - Only if you want me to. 229 00:14:12,274 --> 00:14:14,316 Fuck this! 230 00:14:30,066 --> 00:14:34,357 Like most weekenders, I know if you wanna play in the party, you have to raise the capital. 231 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:38,481 But if you're religious about not working, you deal. You deal for your friends. 232 00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:42,981 Now, Moff is not a pusher. He's not violent. He's never been in any scenes from Scarface. 233 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,566 He just soughts people out with party prescriptions. 234 00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:49,774 They're happy. Moff gets a free night. It's not big business. 235 00:14:50,899 --> 00:14:52,732 Next stop, Trixi. 236 00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:56,357 - Trixi. - Hey, Moff! 237 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:02,856 - Hard day at the office, Trix? - I've been working my tits off. 238 00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:04,274 I see, yeah. 239 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,524 What's cooking, muffled up beau temps, eh? [ French: weather ?] 240 00:15:08,191 --> 00:15:10,274 Not much, mate. Laughing at bus line. 241 00:15:10,649 --> 00:15:14,941 - Do you want... Do you want any hashish or what? - What is it? - ?Black Zilla? 242 00:15:15,274 --> 00:15:20,732 - Zilla Black, is it? - How much do you want? - I'll take the finest-looking ?henry? 243 00:15:21,441 --> 00:15:24,607 Besides I'm kind only, I'm fucking psychic, mate. But, do you just know why? 244 00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:27,357 A little right there for a mistress. 245 00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:48,691 You fucking want me up or what? Fucking a what, that's just a tenner. 246 00:15:49,732 --> 00:15:53,399 Do you think it costs a tenner? Fuck, you know, Trix. 247 00:15:55,441 --> 00:15:58,399 Oh fuck, you surprise me. 248 00:15:59,649 --> 00:16:02,649 Can I interest you a nanny, Billy Wally Wood? 249 00:16:03,691 --> 00:16:06,066 You really know a man got moistured, you know that? 250 00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:09,599 [ Singing Along With Radio: Public Enemy ‒ You're Gonna Get Yours ] ...Cruisin' down the boulevard... 251 00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:12,042 ... I'm treated like some superstar... 252 00:16:12,112 --> 00:16:14,672 ...You know the time so don't look hard Get with it... 253 00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,682 ...The ultimate homeboy car... 254 00:16:16,751 --> 00:16:18,684 ...All you suckers in the other ride... 255 00:16:18,753 --> 00:16:21,482 ...Wherever I'm comin' get you my side... 256 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,666 ...My 98 is tough to chase... 257 00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:26,066 ...If you're on my tail, better watch your face... 258 00:16:26,222 --> 00:16:28,567 ...You gonna get yours, suckers to tha side... 259 00:16:28,615 --> 00:16:30,400 ...I know you hate my 98... 260 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,000 ...You gonna get yours... 261 00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:35,108 [ Jip Narrating ] I'm supposed to see my mum tomorrow, 262 00:16:35,177 --> 00:16:38,500 but I'm droppin' tonight, [ Note: taking ecstasy ] so there's no way I can deal with her on a comedown. 263 00:16:38,515 --> 00:16:39,899 In and out, five minutes. 264 00:16:40,691 --> 00:16:42,357 Mum! It's me. 265 00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,839 [ Jip Narrating ] I never knew my mum until I was 15. 266 00:16:46,191 --> 00:16:49,854 I was moved down here by the Social when my father was locked up for fraud. 267 00:16:49,816 --> 00:16:51,783 Well, he was more like my friend than a father, 268 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:54,978 taking me out on the circuit bringing me up his way, you know? 269 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,989 In Cardiff, my mother had always worked from home, 270 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,490 which I always just accepted when we lived together, 271 00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:03,619 but now when I go and see her, it kills me to see how she gets used, man. 272 00:17:03,696 --> 00:17:05,630 It's been routine for her since she was my age, 273 00:17:05,699 --> 00:17:08,167 so she's go no hang-ups about it, which is cool. 274 00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:12,067 And I know it's not her fault, but I can't handle staying there long. 275 00:17:12,138 --> 00:17:14,071 Especially if she's with a punter. 276 00:17:14,139 --> 00:17:16,199 - Hiya, love. - Hi, Mum. You all right? 277 00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:18,800 Yeah. Aw. 278 00:17:18,877 --> 00:17:22,074 Aw, is a nice surprise. I didn't expect to see you today. 279 00:17:22,148 --> 00:17:25,014 No, it's a flying visit. Um, listen, I can't make it tomorrow. 280 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,985 I've got to work, so I'll pop in Sunday. Is that all right? 281 00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:31,353 - All right. I'll cook dinner. - Cool. 282 00:17:31,423 --> 00:17:33,687 I'm with someone upstairs a minute. He doesn't take long. 283 00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:38,162 - Five minutes, okay? - Um, I've gotta move, Mum. I've gotta go. 284 00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:42,292 Oh, just five minutes, love. I never get to see you anymore. 285 00:17:44,537 --> 00:17:46,528 All right, all right. 286 00:17:46,605 --> 00:17:49,040 Some chocolates in the cupboard. 287 00:17:56,415 --> 00:17:58,350 [ Jip Narrating ] Yeah. See you in five minutes, Mum. 288 00:17:58,417 --> 00:18:00,579 My mum can work through a lot of men in a day. 289 00:18:00,653 --> 00:18:04,384 Some fall in love with her, send her chocolates. Some get heavy. 290 00:18:04,456 --> 00:18:06,925 I used to hang around just in case things got out of hand. 291 00:18:06,992 --> 00:18:08,927 Any trouble, I'd be there, you know? 292 00:18:08,994 --> 00:18:12,021 But I couldn't do it for long. I had to leave. 293 00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:14,594 Sometimes I've got to stop myself from running upstairs... 294 00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:18,502 and beating the living shit out of the man who's there with my mum, but I never do. 295 00:18:18,572 --> 00:18:22,771 Right, this is the score. Twenty quid for a blow job, fifty quid to fuck her. 296 00:18:22,843 --> 00:18:25,540 Mind you, she'll do anything you like, as long as you've got the cash. 297 00:18:25,612 --> 00:18:27,809 She's got all the gear, you know, sussies, 298 00:18:27,882 --> 00:18:31,045 open-crotch panties, peephole bra. 299 00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:34,747 Fit tits, crackin' arse. And she'll put on a bit of an act. 300 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,348 Well, they call it acting, but she really enjoys it. Know what I mean? 301 00:18:38,425 --> 00:18:40,825 Fuck off!. Shut the fuck up! 302 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,333 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop goes to see his dad every day after work. 303 00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:53,497 He never got over his last breakdown when Koop's mum left them. 304 00:18:53,574 --> 00:18:57,065 Since then, he's invented his own alternative reality. 305 00:18:57,144 --> 00:19:00,875 His world is split into those on his side and those on the enemy's side... 306 00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:04,577 who he identifies with through looks and gestures. 307 00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:08,644 His dad sends and receives messages telepathically through TV and satellite, 308 00:19:08,723 --> 00:19:12,556 and he's waiting for a sign that the mission is over and his life can start again. 309 00:19:13,961 --> 00:19:16,952 - Hi, Dad. - Oh, the cavalry. 310 00:19:21,816 --> 00:19:23,816 So, how long do I've got to stay here? 311 00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:28,607 I don't know. 312 00:19:29,691 --> 00:19:33,148 What did our side say? Tell me the truth, Leon. 313 00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:35,607 Look, I don't know. 314 00:19:36,607 --> 00:19:38,691 It's alright. 315 00:19:39,107 --> 00:19:43,191 I know we both can't talk about it. It would endanger me, right? 316 00:19:43,732 --> 00:19:48,491 It could be worse, you know? It could be you among talking the fucking nerd kisses. 317 00:19:59,191 --> 00:20:01,556 I would like to propose a toast... 318 00:20:01,626 --> 00:20:05,153 to the bird for giving her Mac job the finger... 319 00:20:05,229 --> 00:20:09,030 and for successfully gaining unemployment. 320 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,035 What a fucking mistress! 321 00:20:11,102 --> 00:20:13,297 Thank you. Thank you. 322 00:20:15,139 --> 00:20:18,302 Already feels great to be part of the two million. 323 00:20:18,376 --> 00:20:21,369 I'm looking forward to sitting on my arse for a bit, 324 00:20:21,446 --> 00:20:26,146 having reversed sleeping patterns and getting into some hard-core "Richard and Judy". 325 00:20:26,218 --> 00:20:28,186 [ Photographers Clamoring ] 326 00:20:28,253 --> 00:20:30,186 [ Laughing ] 327 00:20:35,828 --> 00:20:37,761 [ Dance ] - [ Nina ] Go, girl! 328 00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:40,389 Come on, sugar! Show it to me! 329 00:20:43,335 --> 00:20:45,461 [ Music in the background ] ...Last night a DJ saved my life... - Check out the booty. 330 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:48,562 - They want you, honey. They want you, sugar. Come on. 331 00:20:48,639 --> 00:20:51,802 - Listen, now. Go, girl. 332 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,902 ...'Cause I was sitting there bored to death... 333 00:20:54,979 --> 00:20:59,471 ...And in just one breath he said... ...You gotta get up... ...You gotta get off... 334 00:20:59,548 --> 00:21:03,249 ...You gotta get down, girl... [ Laughing ] 335 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,800 ...Last night a DJ saved my life. [ Music ends ] 336 00:21:06,357 --> 00:21:09,324 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop dreams of being the world's top club spinner, 337 00:21:09,391 --> 00:21:11,024 but he reckons it doesn't matter how well you can beat mix. 338 00:21:11,399 --> 00:21:13,834 You ain't a DJ until you can scratch. 339 00:21:13,902 --> 00:21:16,461 [ Hip Hop Music incl. scratching Doctor X ‒ Puffin' tha Herb ] 340 00:21:16,537 --> 00:21:18,470 Puff, puffin' Puff, puffin' 341 00:21:18,537 --> 00:21:21,836 Pu-puff, Puff, puffin' tha herb 342 00:21:21,909 --> 00:21:24,138 Herb, herb 343 00:21:24,211 --> 00:21:27,943 Herb, h-h-herb 344 00:21:28,015 --> 00:21:30,540 Puffin' tha herb Puffin' tha herb 345 00:21:30,617 --> 00:21:32,744 Puffin' tha herb H-Herb 346 00:21:32,819 --> 00:21:37,758 H-Herb H-H-Herb 347 00:21:38,626 --> 00:21:40,888 Puffin' tha herb Puffin' tha herb... 348 00:21:50,774 --> 00:21:54,440 [ Jip Narrating ] But he can't scratch to save his life. He just digs the fantasy, man. 349 00:21:54,441 --> 00:21:56,305 Go on, my son! 350 00:21:56,376 --> 00:21:59,903 [ Cheers, Applause ] 351 00:22:12,024 --> 00:22:15,154 So is your brother still going out with you lot tonight, yeah? 352 00:22:15,228 --> 00:22:17,163 Yeah, under the wing. 353 00:22:17,231 --> 00:22:19,197 He hasn't dropped before, has he? 354 00:22:19,266 --> 00:22:21,495 No, breaking his cherry tonight. 355 00:22:21,569 --> 00:22:25,528 - How old is he? Seventeen? - He's gonna do it eventually, so I reckon... 356 00:22:25,607 --> 00:22:28,473 he's better off with me than mixing with the wrong crowd, you know? 357 00:22:28,543 --> 00:22:31,444 - Just keep an eye on him though, yeah? - Hmm. 358 00:22:33,513 --> 00:22:36,915 I'm about to be part of the chemical generation. 359 00:22:36,984 --> 00:22:41,012 Doves, playboys, biscuits, barrels, calis, clear caps, China whites, 360 00:22:41,089 --> 00:22:43,613 rhubarbs, looney tunes, New Yorkers. 361 00:22:43,691 --> 00:22:45,625 Bang on it. Larging it. 362 00:22:45,693 --> 00:22:50,357 The full monty, safe as houses, pair of trousers, what a laugh, let's do another half. 363 00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:52,397 [ Jip Narrating ] Now Lee is Nina's little brother. 364 00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:55,060 None of us know him, but he's gonna take drugs with us anyway. 365 00:22:55,136 --> 00:22:57,627 His enthusiasm scares me, man. He reminds me of myself... 366 00:22:57,704 --> 00:23:00,036 when I was at the beginning of my ecstasy honeymoon. 367 00:23:00,108 --> 00:23:03,874 Are your legs open, you filthy little harlot? 368 00:23:03,944 --> 00:23:06,811 - Is that you, Koop? - Aw, fuck! Shit! 369 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,370 Yeah. Sorry, Lu. Is Nina there, please? 370 00:23:09,449 --> 00:23:11,384 Sorry. 371 00:23:16,057 --> 00:23:19,356 - Hello. - Are your legs open? 372 00:23:19,426 --> 00:23:22,293 - Of course. - Then I'll begin. 373 00:23:28,734 --> 00:23:30,668 [ Rap music starts playing ] 374 00:23:30,736 --> 00:23:32,797 [ Koop rapping ] ...Girl, I'm gonna tie you up and wear the mask... 375 00:23:32,874 --> 00:23:34,808 ...With your strap-on cock fuck me up my ass... 376 00:23:34,876 --> 00:23:36,843 ...Your sexual powers leave me drained for hours... 377 00:23:36,909 --> 00:23:38,878 ...But I've gotta draw the line at golden showers... 378 00:23:38,945 --> 00:23:42,905 ...And, girl, you've got the sweetest arsehole... 379 00:23:42,983 --> 00:23:46,886 ...It's like a pink, quivering rabbit's nostril... 380 00:23:46,954 --> 00:23:48,922 ...Peace. 381 00:23:48,990 --> 00:23:50,924 [ Laughing ] What are you fucking like? 382 00:23:50,992 --> 00:23:53,961 Superb. Thank you, sweetie. 383 00:23:54,028 --> 00:23:56,928 Shit. You got your party head on for tonight? 384 00:23:56,997 --> 00:24:02,231 More so than Wurzel Gummidge on a kilo of Charlie Chan. But Lulu's not coming now. 385 00:24:02,301 --> 00:24:04,964 What? Oh, shit. Why not? 386 00:24:05,039 --> 00:24:08,406 She couldn't get a ticket, and she can't be arsed because of that twat. 387 00:24:08,474 --> 00:24:11,137 - Jip's not gonna be a happy shopper. - Oh, fucking hell. 388 00:24:11,212 --> 00:24:13,942 - Who'd have a ticket? - If I found one, do you reckon she'd go? 389 00:24:14,013 --> 00:24:17,280 Maybe. If Jip brings her. 390 00:24:18,351 --> 00:24:20,784 Geezer! 391 00:24:20,855 --> 00:24:23,378 Hey! What's happening, man? 392 00:24:23,457 --> 00:24:25,447 How's it going? Are you sorted or what? 393 00:24:25,524 --> 00:24:27,721 Hey, you're really cool, man. You're really cool. 394 00:24:27,793 --> 00:24:31,127 Eh, I know we've only just met, mate, but I think I love you, man. 395 00:24:31,197 --> 00:24:34,259 Eh, show me love, show me love, show me love! 396 00:24:34,334 --> 00:24:37,234 [ Laughs ] Eh, safe as fuck, you are, aren't you? 397 00:24:37,303 --> 00:24:39,829 I can't fault you, can I, brother? 398 00:24:39,906 --> 00:24:43,741 - It's like them fucking rookies back at Spike Island, man! - Jip, Jip!... 399 00:24:43,810 --> 00:24:46,574 - What? - Listen. Lulu couldn't get a ticket for tonight. 400 00:24:47,647 --> 00:24:51,013 What? Shit, man. Really? 401 00:24:51,084 --> 00:24:54,418 - Do you know anyone that's got a spare one? - Oh, fuck. 402 00:24:56,522 --> 00:24:59,651 Uh, I think, I think Moff did. 403 00:24:59,726 --> 00:25:02,695 But I'm not sure. It was a while ago. 404 00:25:02,763 --> 00:25:04,697 Oh, shit, man. 405 00:25:04,766 --> 00:25:07,530 [ Jip Narrating ] I've got to get Lu out tonight, man. 406 00:25:07,601 --> 00:25:10,627 I need to cheer her up,you know? Get her mind off that twat. 407 00:25:10,704 --> 00:25:13,674 When we hit the clubs together, we're like Bonnie and Clyde, man, way out West. 408 00:25:13,741 --> 00:25:16,608 She's the only girl I've ever felt chilled with,you know, 409 00:25:16,676 --> 00:25:18,609 because we've never fancied each other. 410 00:25:18,678 --> 00:25:21,545 Nothing could ever happen between us. I don't have to try and impress her... 411 00:25:21,616 --> 00:25:24,141 or worry about embarrassing silences. 412 00:25:24,218 --> 00:25:27,415 I've gotta get her a ticket and put a smile back on her face. 413 00:25:27,486 --> 00:25:29,615 [ Phone Ringing ] 414 00:25:33,327 --> 00:25:36,319 - Hello? - Hello! 415 00:25:36,396 --> 00:25:39,855 - Oh, hello. 416 00:25:37,607 --> 00:25:42,982 - Any contact with the Tyler, the germ? - Yeah, I get that prick the verbal post mortem this afternoon. 417 00:25:43,232 --> 00:25:46,066 - Oh, respect, respect, to the bird most, aye. 418 00:25:46,316 --> 00:25:47,955 Listen, I hear you couldn't get a ticket. 419 00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:49,868 Yeah, well, it's been a lucky week for me, you know? 420 00:25:50,232 --> 00:25:54,693 Well, I think that your luck is gonna change, sister, 421 00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:57,533 child of the beat, because... 422 00:25:57,607 --> 00:25:59,733 if I just reach down here and dip... 423 00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:03,608 into my "Uncle Santa Jip will fix it" magic box, 424 00:26:03,679 --> 00:26:07,309 you will find one freshly cut and preserved ticket for tonight's Asylum. 425 00:26:07,383 --> 00:26:11,283 - You got one? - Ah, yes. Ah, yes. I certainly did. 426 00:26:11,354 --> 00:26:14,982 Well, I don't know, Jip. The batteries are a bit low, you know? 427 00:26:15,058 --> 00:26:17,356 Aw, fuck that shit, Lu. Come on. 428 00:26:17,425 --> 00:26:21,193 Come on. Everyone's going. Come on, Lu. Me and you, yeah? 429 00:26:21,776 --> 00:26:22,815 Come on, you've got to go. 430 00:26:22,816 --> 00:26:27,941 Lister, Tyler is a prick, right? He's a prick. Do not go down with that one goose paw. 431 00:26:28,316 --> 00:26:29,000 You know I'm saying to ya? 432 00:26:29,116 --> 00:26:31,816 Anyway, town's gonna be full of horny men, do you know what I mean? 433 00:26:32,107 --> 00:26:36,565 Fuck it, fuck it! All your best friends who love you. They love you. 434 00:26:36,645 --> 00:26:38,579 They all want you to be there, yeah? 435 00:26:38,647 --> 00:26:40,945 Come on. We'll go an absolute fucking ride. 436 00:26:41,015 --> 00:26:44,281 Me and you. Absolute mayhem. Come on. We'll take the piss. 437 00:26:44,351 --> 00:26:47,550 Absolute chaos. What are you saying? Come on. Yeah? 438 00:26:47,622 --> 00:26:50,456 - All right! You got me! - I wanna hear you say yes! 439 00:26:50,524 --> 00:26:53,084 - Yes! Yes! - Yes! Yes! 440 00:26:53,161 --> 00:26:55,995 - Yes! - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 441 00:26:56,063 --> 00:26:58,533 - See you later, babe. - [ Laughs ] 442 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:03,161 Oh! He who dares, wins. He who dares, my son. 443 00:27:03,236 --> 00:27:05,172 [ Phone Ringing ] 444 00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:11,440 Hold on a minute. Hello? 445 00:27:11,513 --> 00:27:15,108 Eh, eh, eh, eh! How's it going, you big Cockney space case? 446 00:27:15,184 --> 00:27:17,482 - Shut it. - Listen, did you manage to sell that ticket... 447 00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:19,418 for tonight's spiritual gathering? 448 00:27:19,486 --> 00:27:23,447 - No, mate. No, not at all. No. - Ah! Nice one! 449 00:27:23,524 --> 00:27:25,788 - Why? Who needs one? Who, who? - Lulu. 450 00:27:25,860 --> 00:27:30,092 - Oh, sweet as. Sweet as, mate. - Cool, cool. 451 00:27:30,165 --> 00:27:32,599 - [ Man ] Matthew! - Oh, for fuck's sake. 452 00:27:32,668 --> 00:27:34,966 I'll catch you later, mate. Don't go changing to try and please me, all right? 453 00:27:35,036 --> 00:27:37,163 - Yeah, nice one, "bruv." Yeah. - Oh, nice one, brother. 454 00:27:37,238 --> 00:27:39,297 - Nice one, brother! - Nice one, brother! 455 00:27:39,372 --> 00:27:41,934 I said nice, bruv! 456 00:27:42,009 --> 00:27:45,103 - Nice one, brother! - I said nice, bruv! 457 00:27:45,178 --> 00:27:48,342 - Fucking nice one, brother! - Nice one, bruv-- 458 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:51,147 - Brother! - Fuck off!. 459 00:27:52,853 --> 00:27:55,151 - Come on! - [ Jip Narrating ] The weekend has landed. 460 00:27:55,224 --> 00:27:58,523 All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. 461 00:27:58,592 --> 00:28:00,788 I've got 48 hours off from the world, man. 462 00:28:00,861 --> 00:28:03,922 I'm gonna blow steam out of my head like a screaming kettle. 463 00:28:03,997 --> 00:28:06,899 I'm gonna talk codshit to strangers all night. 464 00:28:06,967 --> 00:28:08,994 I'm gonna lose the plot on the dance floor. 465 00:28:09,071 --> 00:28:11,765 The free radicals inside me are freaking, man. 466 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,809 Tonight I'm Jip Travolta. I'm Peter Popper. 467 00:28:14,877 --> 00:28:17,744 I'm going to Never Never Land with my chosen family, man. 468 00:28:17,812 --> 00:28:20,803 We're gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did. 469 00:28:20,882 --> 00:28:23,579 Anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life. 470 00:28:23,651 --> 00:28:26,485 I've got 73 quid in my back burner. 471 00:28:26,553 --> 00:28:30,353 I'm gonna wax the lot, man. The Milky Bars are on me! Yeah! 472 00:28:30,425 --> 00:28:33,792 Calling all the crusaders to the dance floor in green-light mode. 473 00:28:33,861 --> 00:28:36,159 - [ Shouts ] - Disco queens, 474 00:28:36,230 --> 00:28:38,528 club casualties, come on! 475 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,591 Let's join forces! Let's hoof it! Ah! 476 00:28:41,670 --> 00:28:45,901 [ Indistinct Rap Song ] 477 00:28:54,115 --> 00:28:56,050 [ Chuckling ] 478 00:28:56,118 --> 00:29:00,247 [ Jip Narrating ] But first a daily injection of the late prophet Bill Hicks... 479 00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:02,916 just to remind me not to take life too seriously. 480 00:29:02,990 --> 00:29:04,925 [ Hicks ] It's not a very popular idea. 481 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:08,757 You don't hear it very often anymore, but it's the truth. 482 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:12,322 I have taken drugs before, and, uh-- 483 00:29:15,204 --> 00:29:17,363 - I had a real good time. [ Laughter] 484 00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:22,132 Didn't murder anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't rape anybody, 485 00:29:22,209 --> 00:29:26,204 didn't beat anybody, didn't lose, um, one fucking job. 486 00:29:26,281 --> 00:29:29,580 [ Laughter] - Laughed my ass off... 487 00:29:29,649 --> 00:29:32,278 and went about my day. 488 00:29:32,353 --> 00:29:35,050 [ Applause, Cheering ] 489 00:29:35,122 --> 00:29:37,523 Sorry. 490 00:29:39,026 --> 00:29:42,333 [ Man ] We are from weekend music live and direct from the world famous studios, of course, 491 00:29:42,350 --> 00:29:44,555 of Radio One here, the Essential Selection, 492 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,895 - Look to the magical elements, all go to make up the golden thing we call the weekend-- - Come on! 493 00:29:49,123 --> 00:29:51,613 [ Laughing ] 494 00:29:51,566 --> 00:29:53,500 Who the fuck do you think you are, you twat? 495 00:29:53,550 --> 00:29:54,856 Why don't you come through the door like everyone else? 496 00:29:54,857 --> 00:29:56,792 Because I'm not everybody else, fool. 497 00:29:56,859 --> 00:29:59,773 Eh, don't make me, fucking, prove my masculinity to you now, do you know what I mean? 498 00:29:59,774 --> 00:30:02,132 Masculinity, what? Testosterone's flowing, bro, eh? 499 00:30:02,143 --> 00:30:06,239 - Violence is inevitable, mate. - Oh, I smells a glassin' in the air, boys, is it? 500 00:30:06,314 --> 00:30:10,249 - Glassing is it? Fuck you! - Fuck you! Fuck you! 501 00:30:10,317 --> 00:30:13,444 [ Shouting, Indistinct ] 502 00:30:13,519 --> 00:30:15,489 [ Together] ...mighty feet old man! 503 00:30:15,556 --> 00:30:18,924 - [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] Come on! 504 00:30:20,691 --> 00:30:22,440 So what, you want a mission tonight then, or what?! 505 00:30:22,441 --> 00:30:28,148 I'm all revved up, I'm all revved up. I'm ready to paint the town psycadelic ?pillows?, everything, man. 506 00:30:28,149 --> 00:30:32,606 - Battyman and Robin. You now what I mean? Let's go, ain't shit. - The only way out, right. The only way out. 507 00:30:32,607 --> 00:30:35,440 Steroids, ketamine, laughing gas. Bring'em all here. 508 00:30:35,441 --> 00:30:40,774 What do you say? We'll do a fucking armed robbery in boots on the comedown. 509 00:30:40,820 --> 00:30:42,332 - Is it? - Is it. 510 00:30:44,732 --> 00:30:45,816 Come on! 511 00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:48,000 [ Music playing ] 512 00:31:04,124 --> 00:31:08,024 Hey, mate. Mate, have you seen "Taxi Driver"? [ Note: A film from 1976 with R. de Niro ] 513 00:31:08,278 --> 00:31:11,474 - Yeah. - Yeah? 514 00:31:11,548 --> 00:31:14,449 Hey, mate, can you relate to it, sort of thing? 515 00:31:14,517 --> 00:31:16,713 - Yeah. - Yeah? Fuck. 516 00:31:16,786 --> 00:31:19,755 Do you understand? You could be Cardiff's answer to Travis Bickel, 517 00:31:19,822 --> 00:31:21,755 on a timer waiting to explode. 518 00:31:21,824 --> 00:31:24,053 Can you fucking believe that? I mean, can you imagine doing that? 519 00:31:24,127 --> 00:31:27,028 Imagine doing a Travis. I mean, fucking hell! 520 00:31:27,097 --> 00:31:29,859 See me, I'd have to take a celebrity with me. 521 00:31:29,933 --> 00:31:33,459 Someone like, um-- What's his name? Uh, er, uh-- 522 00:31:33,536 --> 00:31:36,369 What's his name? Uh-- British pop throb. 523 00:31:36,438 --> 00:31:38,839 You know? Built like a brick shithouse, he is. 524 00:31:38,907 --> 00:31:42,868 Uh, ugly fuck. Peter Andre. Peter Andre, yeah. 525 00:31:42,945 --> 00:31:44,878 I couldn't just shoot him first, though, mate. 526 00:31:44,947 --> 00:31:46,880 You're having a laugh, isn't you? [ Laughs ] 527 00:31:46,949 --> 00:31:50,147 Oh, no. That's be like having the cream cake whole without it touching the sides. 528 00:31:50,219 --> 00:31:52,154 You know what I mean? 529 00:31:52,222 --> 00:31:54,588 I believe it would be quite rude not to torture him first. 530 00:31:54,657 --> 00:31:57,888 Do you know what I mean though, mate, do ya? 531 00:31:57,961 --> 00:32:01,761 Thumbscrews instantly spring to mind. [ Snickering ] 532 00:32:01,830 --> 00:32:06,098 You know, followed by an intense session of electrodes on the testicles. 533 00:32:06,167 --> 00:32:09,659 Yeah, yeah, a fucking, uh, uh, a wire coat hanger down the Jap's eyes. 534 00:32:09,740 --> 00:32:11,935 Do you know what I mean? Really fucking hurt the geezer, do you know what I mean? 535 00:32:12,007 --> 00:32:14,407 And finally, a bullet between the eyes. 536 00:32:14,476 --> 00:32:16,707 And it's time to say hello to the, to the horned man... 537 00:32:16,780 --> 00:32:20,307 you've been working on Earth for all this time, Pete! 538 00:32:20,382 --> 00:32:23,351 See you later on, Pete! No one gives a fuck about you! 539 00:32:23,419 --> 00:32:27,185 [ Imitates Shotgun ] Fucking hell, mate. 540 00:32:27,255 --> 00:32:29,656 - Right. - Here, here. 541 00:32:29,724 --> 00:32:32,592 Fucking good film, though. mate, ain't it, eh? God! 542 00:32:48,232 --> 00:32:50,166 [ Jip Narrating ] Friday night's ceremony is always... 543 00:32:50,234 --> 00:32:52,167 to hook up in a bar and wind up the weekend. 544 00:32:52,235 --> 00:32:54,169 We've all got to try and get on the same level together... 545 00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,263 so we feel like a unit when we hit the club. 546 00:32:56,340 --> 00:32:59,535 The music we love brought us together and so did the music we hate. 547 00:32:59,609 --> 00:33:01,542 - The Spice Girls. - Boyzone. 548 00:33:01,610 --> 00:33:03,544 - Dannii Minogue. - Aqua. 549 00:33:03,613 --> 00:33:06,242 - Ricky fuckin' Martin. - The Backstreet Boys. 550 00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:09,046 - Uh, 911. - Hanson. 551 00:33:09,119 --> 00:33:11,985 What gets me, right, is that these talentless wankers... 552 00:33:12,054 --> 00:33:14,752 have the opportunity to reach an international audience, right, 553 00:33:14,823 --> 00:33:16,758 say something profound instead of-- 554 00:33:16,827 --> 00:33:20,227 " Oh, baby, I'm all alone on the phone " 555 00:33:20,296 --> 00:33:22,731 " I'm 14 years old with a broken heart " 556 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,359 Fucking cheese on toast bollocks. 557 00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:27,529 Fucking embarrassing, mate, ain't it? 558 00:33:27,604 --> 00:33:31,700 Embarrassing to watch the little fucking hussy fuckers. 559 00:33:46,956 --> 00:33:50,723 [ Jip Narrating ] She's funny, she's cool, she's gorgeous. 560 00:33:50,794 --> 00:33:52,921 Oh, shit, I fancy her, man. 561 00:33:52,996 --> 00:33:55,090 No, I can't. She's my mate. 562 00:33:55,691 --> 00:33:59,149 - I'm gonna piss. - Get it in, my son. Go, my son. 563 00:33:59,774 --> 00:34:02,066 Calm down. That's only a piss, man. 564 00:34:05,732 --> 00:34:09,963 I am out of my nuts. I'm telling you, we're in for one fucking night, mate. 565 00:34:10,035 --> 00:34:11,970 Believe me. I'm telling you. 566 00:34:12,038 --> 00:34:13,972 You fucking stick with me. I'll look after you. 567 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,067 I'll tell you that now,you've never buzzed like you ever buzz with me. Do you hear me? 568 00:34:17,399 --> 00:34:20,391 [ Lee Narrating ] Oh, I thought I was just gonna drop and have a blender. 569 00:34:20,468 --> 00:34:24,404 What's all this shit about mind altering? What's gonna happen to me? 570 00:34:24,471 --> 00:34:28,636 We believe that ecstasy causes serotonin depletion... 571 00:34:28,709 --> 00:34:31,836 and may lead to depression in later life. 572 00:34:31,913 --> 00:34:35,350 [ Jip ] Yeah, all right, Doc. Yeah. Fair enough. But on the flip side, Lee, 573 00:34:35,417 --> 00:34:38,045 you'll feel an overwhelming sense of empathy with people. 574 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,086 You'll be able to be intimate with your friends, 575 00:34:40,154 --> 00:34:42,452 talk about things that you never felt comfortable enough to say before. 576 00:34:42,524 --> 00:34:46,016 Overheating when dancing on ecstasy... 577 00:34:46,093 --> 00:34:49,461 increases heart rate and palpitations... 578 00:34:49,529 --> 00:34:52,659 and can cause heatstroke, resulting in death. 579 00:34:52,734 --> 00:34:55,497 Statistically, you're more likely to die... 580 00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:57,969 from choking on a cabbage leaf or an argument in a pub... 581 00:34:58,038 --> 00:35:00,007 than you are from dropping an "E." 582 00:35:00,074 --> 00:35:05,513 Alcohol kills 30,000 people a year alone in Britain. 583 00:35:05,581 --> 00:35:09,574 But that's all right because that's a good taxable drug, nonetheless, isn't it? 584 00:35:09,651 --> 00:35:14,232 Your penis will shrivel up, and you won't be able to get an erection. 585 00:35:14,822 --> 00:35:19,274 [ Bell Tolling ] Anyone, who repeatedly takes ecstasy, 586 00:35:19,607 --> 00:35:23,982 is punching the wall between consciousness and unconsciousness. 587 00:35:24,857 --> 00:35:28,441 In later life, instead of reaching for the lasers, 588 00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:31,024 you could be reaching for the prescriptions. 589 00:35:37,066 --> 00:35:39,933 - Yeah. 590 00:35:42,604 --> 00:35:46,269 - Anyway, it's good seeing you again, man. - Yeah, yeah. Take care. 591 00:35:46,342 --> 00:35:48,368 - See you in the club later on, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, okay. 592 00:35:48,445 --> 00:35:51,812 - Nice one, nice one. See ya. - Cheers. Cheers. 593 00:35:51,881 --> 00:35:54,314 See ya. See ya. 594 00:35:59,188 --> 00:36:01,589 Fucking hell, man. 595 00:36:01,658 --> 00:36:03,750 If we'd have been more honest with each other, 596 00:36:03,825 --> 00:36:06,226 that conversation would have gone a bit more like this. 597 00:36:06,296 --> 00:36:09,354 - Fucking shame we had eye contact when I walked in. - Yeah. 598 00:36:09,431 --> 00:36:11,628 Yeah, I know. Every time we bump into each other, 599 00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:15,899 we kinda fall into this groove of pretending that we like each other. 600 00:36:15,973 --> 00:36:19,409 I don't dislike anything about you, but I just don't like anything about you, either. 601 00:36:19,476 --> 00:36:24,004 Yeah. Together we kinda surf the waves of social paranoia, don't we? 602 00:36:24,081 --> 00:36:26,675 No uncomfortable silences as yet. 603 00:36:26,748 --> 00:36:30,775 Yeah, well, not as yet, but, you know, our luck's not gonna last forever, is it? 604 00:36:30,852 --> 00:36:33,447 Maybe it's time for your Houdini impression. What do you reckon? 605 00:36:33,523 --> 00:36:36,390 Yeah, all right, man. Uh, I'm gonna get a drink from the bar. 606 00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:38,928 - Yeah, and you're with friends. - And I'll see you later. 607 00:36:38,996 --> 00:36:41,829 - That's the one. - Let's pretend we didn't see each other next time, yeah? 608 00:36:41,898 --> 00:36:44,491 - Absolutely crucifying as always, mate. - Yeah, whatever. 609 00:36:44,566 --> 00:36:47,332 - Uh, look forward to seeing you. - Yeah, like an illness. 610 00:36:47,402 --> 00:36:50,496 - Don't get run over. Die. - Okay. Die. 611 00:36:50,573 --> 00:36:53,736 - Wanker! - Wanker! 612 00:36:53,877 --> 00:36:57,005 Friday night after the club, yeah? 613 00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,015 I got a hard-on, so I ring one of them porn lines. 614 00:37:07,923 --> 00:37:10,188 Hello? 615 00:37:10,258 --> 00:37:14,754 Yeah. My name's... Bob. 616 00:37:14,831 --> 00:37:19,859 I'm from, uh-- from West-- West London area. What color drawers you got on? 617 00:37:19,936 --> 00:37:22,698 I'm buzzing my tits off, yeah? I'm fucked. 618 00:37:22,773 --> 00:37:24,707 I end up going off on these, on these tangents... 619 00:37:24,774 --> 00:37:27,471 about me life and me aspirations and shit like that, you know? 620 00:37:27,544 --> 00:37:29,477 It's like, what are you doing? 621 00:37:29,546 --> 00:37:33,346 Yeah, I'm a, a b-business interpret-- Um-- 622 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:37,444 Ul-Ultra-- I'm an ultrapren-- "Ultrapreneur." 623 00:37:37,521 --> 00:37:41,479 Have you got brown nipples or just like-- 624 00:37:41,556 --> 00:37:47,053 What? You wear all-- What, you wear all black nail polish and that, do ya? Fuck. 625 00:37:47,130 --> 00:37:49,428 Next thing I know, the old man's hitting me with, 626 00:37:49,498 --> 00:37:51,763 "Who the hell you been ringing in Taiwan, boy?" 627 00:37:51,833 --> 00:37:54,325 - Who the hell you been calling in Taiwan? - Taiwan? 628 00:37:54,402 --> 00:37:56,337 - That's what he said. - Fucking hell. 629 00:37:56,406 --> 00:37:58,998 Listen, 145 fucking quid. 630 00:37:59,075 --> 00:38:03,239 - Fucking hell! - I'm fucking telling you, man. 145 quid. 631 00:38:03,313 --> 00:38:06,873 - Believe it. - Fucking hell, Moff. 632 00:38:06,948 --> 00:38:09,314 Fuck! [ Laughing ] 633 00:38:09,385 --> 00:38:12,844 Fair play, mate, fair play. That is the most expensive wank I've ever heard of. 634 00:38:12,921 --> 00:38:15,050 - Fuck's sake, keep it down will ya? - Sorry, sorry. 635 00:38:15,123 --> 00:38:18,253 - Sorry. - Fucking hell. Listen, listen, right. 636 00:38:18,327 --> 00:38:21,160 What really took the piss was she was more Cockney than me. 637 00:38:21,229 --> 00:38:24,598 Now can you fucking believe that, Jip? Do you know what I mean? 638 00:38:24,668 --> 00:38:26,601 Listen, now the old cunt's giving it-- 639 00:38:26,669 --> 00:38:28,602 Yeah, I know you're sorry. Yeah, you will be sorry... 640 00:38:28,671 --> 00:38:30,765 'cause if in seven days you don't pay it off, I'm gonna chuck you out, all right? 641 00:38:30,841 --> 00:38:32,774 That's nice, Dad. That is so nice. 642 00:38:32,842 --> 00:38:35,243 You lie in bed all fucking day. You haven't had a job for over a year. 643 00:38:35,312 --> 00:38:38,712 You don't have a girlfriend. You're throwing your life away, boy! 644 00:38:38,782 --> 00:38:41,375 And chucking me out on the street, that's just what I need at the moment, isn't it? 645 00:38:41,450 --> 00:38:44,112 Don't give me that bollocks about you're gonna throw me out 'cause it ain't even your house. 646 00:38:44,187 --> 00:38:46,154 Ain't even my house? Well, it won't be your house in a fucking week. 647 00:38:46,223 --> 00:38:48,157 - No? - You're 20 years of age, for fuck's sake. 648 00:38:48,225 --> 00:38:50,987 You really don't understand at all, do you, eh? 649 00:38:51,061 --> 00:38:53,291 I haven't got one friend that actually enjoys their job. 650 00:38:53,362 --> 00:38:55,660 Each one counts down the days till Friday. 651 00:38:55,731 --> 00:38:58,792 Dad, I'm not ready to become that miserable. 652 00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:01,837 - Matthew! - Life's hard enough, for fuck's sake. 653 00:39:01,904 --> 00:39:04,702 - I'm still researching. - Everyone's gotta work, Matthew. 654 00:39:04,774 --> 00:39:06,707 Don't you understand? I'm unemployed full time. 655 00:39:06,775 --> 00:39:09,766 - I ain't got enough hours in the fucking day. - "Hours in the fucking day?" 656 00:39:09,846 --> 00:39:12,335 You ain't even here in the fucking day. And take this with you and all, 657 00:39:12,414 --> 00:39:15,246 you fucking little-- - Yeah? Bollocks! 658 00:39:15,316 --> 00:39:18,410 I mean, how many times have I told you? Get your own fucking flat. 659 00:39:18,487 --> 00:39:21,514 Get your own flat. You need your own flat, man. Seriously. 660 00:39:21,591 --> 00:39:24,560 It's a piece of piss. You can get it on the Social. 661 00:39:24,628 --> 00:39:26,652 Where am I gonna go, for fuck's sake? 662 00:39:26,729 --> 00:39:30,359 Fuck. I don't know. What the fuck do you care? 663 00:39:30,431 --> 00:39:32,697 As long as it's got a fucking phone line, it's all right, isn't it? 664 00:39:32,769 --> 00:39:34,702 Fuck off, you cunt. 665 00:39:34,837 --> 00:39:38,602 [ Jip Narrating ] I can't fucking relax. Glad to see I'm not alone. 666 00:39:38,675 --> 00:39:41,641 I really want to lose my inhibitions. You know, be able to talk to strangers. 667 00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:44,577 Break the ice. But I can't be arsed either. 668 00:39:44,648 --> 00:39:46,842 I don't need this stress on my night off. 669 00:39:46,917 --> 00:39:50,510 Britain, chill the fuck out and then show me how to do it. 670 00:39:50,585 --> 00:39:52,986 I think it's time for a new national anthem. 671 00:39:53,054 --> 00:39:55,489 You know? One I can relate to. 672 00:41:11,399 --> 00:41:13,600 [ Jip Narrating ] Yeah, well, maybe not. 673 00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:18,500 [ Music playing ] 674 00:42:18,816 --> 00:42:22,066 [ Jip ] No, no, Moff, Moff. This is not funny, man. Don't fuck about. 675 00:42:22,524 --> 00:42:26,087 Look, I-- Look, I just don't understand. I-I had it in here. I had it in here. 676 00:42:26,149 --> 00:42:27,149 Have you left it in the pub? 677 00:42:27,150 --> 00:42:30,649 No, I didn't take me wallet out once. I was paying with shrapnel in there. That's why-- 678 00:42:30,732 --> 00:42:32,666 All right. Well, maybe there are tickets on the door. 679 00:42:32,734 --> 00:42:34,759 No way. No way. Not tonight. 680 00:42:35,732 --> 00:42:41,024 - Fuck. - I'm so sorry, Lu. I'm sorry. - Look. Forget about it, it was a bad card. I just wasn't meant to have it. 681 00:42:42,066 --> 00:42:43,816 Fuckin' anticlimax. 682 00:42:44,982 --> 00:42:48,418 This is not gonna happen, man. No way is this gonna happen. 683 00:42:48,486 --> 00:42:50,420 Okay, what's the-- What's the owner of this club called? 684 00:42:50,488 --> 00:42:54,390 - Peter. - No, it's not Peter. It's a Spanish name. Pablo. 685 00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,483 Pablo Hassan. No way, mate. 686 00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,085 - Pablo Hassan. - No, mate. Don't even think about it. 687 00:42:59,163 --> 00:43:01,427 - No, sweetheart. You can't. - No, seriously, right? 688 00:43:01,499 --> 00:43:05,060 Ten minutes. If I'm not back here in ten minutes, I'll see you in there, right? 689 00:43:05,136 --> 00:43:08,435 - Ten minutes, it's all right. - Jip. 690 00:43:08,506 --> 00:43:10,440 - Excuse me, mate. - What? 691 00:43:10,508 --> 00:43:12,442 I'm from Mix mag. Got an appointment with Mr. Hassan. 692 00:43:12,510 --> 00:43:16,344 - Jip, sweetheart, no. It's not worth it. - Go on, my son. Go on, my son. 693 00:43:16,414 --> 00:43:18,905 - I'm a bit late, mate. Do you know what I mean? - Whoa. 694 00:43:18,983 --> 00:43:22,544 - Oh, no. It's not worth it, man. - Have a bit of faith. 695 00:43:22,620 --> 00:43:25,111 I've got an appointment with your boss. Can I go in, please? 696 00:43:25,189 --> 00:43:28,886 - Pablo Hassan. - Listen to me. This geezer's never let me down yet. 697 00:43:28,959 --> 00:43:30,893 - I'm telling you now. - He's not gonna get in. 698 00:43:35,566 --> 00:43:37,591 Doesn't fuck about, does he? 699 00:43:39,937 --> 00:43:42,371 [ Jip Narrating ] Jip, what the fuck are you doing, man? 700 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:46,342 This is Pablo Hassan. A complete schizophrenic cokehead. 701 00:43:46,410 --> 00:43:50,972 If he reckons you're fucking with him, his boys are gonna fucking maim you, man. 702 00:43:51,048 --> 00:43:54,882 Ah, but he likes to think himself as a bit of a businessman, yeah? 703 00:43:54,952 --> 00:43:58,945 Yeah. And I came here to do business. 704 00:43:59,023 --> 00:44:02,720 Hiya. Pablo Hassan? Tony Trueman. Sorry I'm late. 705 00:44:02,793 --> 00:44:05,159 - I don't know anything about this, man. - No? 706 00:44:05,229 --> 00:44:08,096 - No. - [ Exhales ] 707 00:44:08,165 --> 00:44:12,226 Oh, uh-- My secretary phoned here yesterday afternoon. 708 00:44:12,303 --> 00:44:16,831 She, um-- She spoke to someone here, arranged a meeting for tonight. 8:00. 709 00:44:16,907 --> 00:44:21,037 - It's all news to me, man. - [ Sighing ] Oh, God. I don't believe this. 710 00:44:21,112 --> 00:44:26,414 Well, basically, what it is-- Mix mag, yeah, have done a survey of Welsh clubs. 711 00:44:26,484 --> 00:44:31,319 The Asylum has been voted the best club atmosphere in the whole of Wales. 712 00:44:31,388 --> 00:44:33,322 - Nice one. - [ Jip Narrating ] He's going for it. 713 00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:35,415 Yeah. We're gonna do a, a double-page spread. 714 00:44:35,493 --> 00:44:38,121 I interview yourself, obviously, resident DJs, 715 00:44:38,195 --> 00:44:40,459 uh, some of the clubbers, shoot everything. 716 00:44:40,531 --> 00:44:43,159 - [ Jip Narrating ] Jip, you're overdoing it, man. - You wanna do it now, yeah? 717 00:44:43,234 --> 00:44:45,168 - [ Jip Narrating ] Don't blow it. - Well-- 718 00:44:45,236 --> 00:44:48,034 Well, you see, that's the only problem. You're not gonna believe this. 719 00:44:48,105 --> 00:44:51,074 Just got down here from London, right? And I've just found out... 720 00:44:51,142 --> 00:44:55,442 my photographer was involved in a fucking car crash on the way here tonight, man. 721 00:44:55,513 --> 00:44:59,506 - [ Jip Narrating ] What am I talking about? - It's nothing serious, it's-- 722 00:44:59,583 --> 00:45:02,609 - It just means we can't do it tonight. - You mean to tell me... 723 00:45:02,686 --> 00:45:05,484 you drove all the way down here from London just so you can't give an interview? 724 00:45:05,556 --> 00:45:07,581 [ Jip Narrating ] It's all over, Jip. You fucked it up. 725 00:45:07,658 --> 00:45:09,819 [ Chuckling ] I know. It's-- 726 00:45:09,894 --> 00:45:12,624 For fuck's sake. I'm sorry about this, mate. 727 00:45:12,696 --> 00:45:14,755 Can I use your phone? Someone's made a big fuck up here. 728 00:45:14,832 --> 00:45:18,825 I wanna talk to my secretary to sort this out. Cheers. 729 00:45:22,373 --> 00:45:24,898 Come on, come on. 730 00:45:24,975 --> 00:45:29,036 Carmel. Yeah, it's me. Yeah, I'm in Wales. 731 00:45:29,113 --> 00:45:32,014 Listen, what the fuck's going on? I'm with Pablo Hassan now. It's-- 732 00:45:32,082 --> 00:45:34,812 Yeah, all right. Yeah, all right. I don't wanna hear it. 733 00:45:34,885 --> 00:45:38,252 Listen, has Danny Rampling confirmed his set tomorrow night at the ministry? 734 00:45:38,322 --> 00:45:41,758 - Danny who, love? - He did. Okay. All right. 735 00:45:41,826 --> 00:45:45,421 Cheers, Carmel. Oh, have you heard any more about Scott's accident? 736 00:45:45,496 --> 00:45:48,932 - What accident? - Yeah, okay. All right. See you later. 737 00:45:48,999 --> 00:45:51,900 [ Dial Tone ] 738 00:45:51,969 --> 00:45:56,372 Dizzy bitch. Cheers, mate. Uh-- 739 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,000 I can't do tomorrow night. Uh-- 740 00:45:59,076 --> 00:46:01,874 - Next Friday night? Is that all right with you? - Yeah, we'll go for that. 741 00:46:01,946 --> 00:46:06,007 Nice one. Sorry about the fuck up tonight, mate. I promise we'll get it right next time. 742 00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:08,950 - All right, Tony. - All right. I'll see you next Friday, mate. 743 00:46:09,019 --> 00:46:12,147 [ Jip Narrating ] He who dares, my son. He who dares. 744 00:46:12,223 --> 00:46:14,333 Nice one, mate. Nice one. 745 00:46:14,500 --> 00:46:15,500 [ Dance Music ] 746 00:46:15,524 --> 00:46:20,566 - I hope he's alright. - Keeping my fingers crossed. - Sure he is. 747 00:46:20,649 --> 00:46:24,149 - Sure, here he is. - We're in. Come on! 748 00:46:25,691 --> 00:46:29,191 - Come on. Where is he? - Can you see him? 749 00:46:29,399 --> 00:46:34,191 - Look here. - Oh my God! 750 00:46:37,149 --> 00:46:40,357 - You're number one! - Mate. - What did I tell ya? 751 00:46:40,607 --> 00:46:41,649 - What happened? 752 00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:46,941 - Oh man, a heart attack had happened. - Ah, OK. OK! 753 00:46:52,357 --> 00:46:53,524 A dove, is it? 754 00:46:54,732 --> 00:46:56,731 - Yeah, mate. - Fuckin' lace, anyway? 755 00:46:56,732 --> 00:47:00,607 - Yeah, a bit of speedy, a bit of speedy. - Yeah. Proper as fuck, man. 756 00:47:01,649 --> 00:47:04,440 - Checking out the bush, yeah? - Oh oh, man, I'm checking out the bush, fuckin' 757 00:47:04,441 --> 00:47:07,857 24/7 fucking' 3-6-5! 758 00:47:08,774 --> 00:47:11,106 - What's your name, mate? - Oh, save as fuck, man! 759 00:47:11,107 --> 00:47:12,399 - What? - What? 760 00:47:13,024 --> 00:47:14,899 Your name's "Save as fuck"? 761 00:47:15,774 --> 00:47:18,065 - What are you all about, man? - I--, I asked you what your name was. 762 00:47:18,066 --> 00:47:20,316 You've just said "Save as fuck". 763 00:47:21,149 --> 00:47:24,857 - Huh, you're off the parade then only. - Yeah, mate. Murdered, mate, murdered. 764 00:47:25,441 --> 00:47:27,149 Inca Holmes. 765 00:47:28,191 --> 00:47:29,191 Yeah, Felix. 766 00:47:29,574 --> 00:47:33,816 - Oh, man. - Yeah. Nice on, me. Give a spirit alive. 767 00:47:34,482 --> 00:47:35,899 Save as fuck. 768 00:47:37,191 --> 00:47:37,600 Hi, babe. 769 00:47:37,700 --> 00:47:40,700 [ Music ] 770 00:48:40,941 --> 00:48:43,034 [ Lee Narrating ] Wonder how the drug system works in here. 771 00:48:46,446 --> 00:48:50,007 Every club is different, but in the Asylum, it's the manager. 772 00:48:50,083 --> 00:48:54,247 He has a string of homeboys dealing the pukka E's to the party people in the club. 773 00:48:54,321 --> 00:48:56,687 He makes the most coin out of this enterprise. 774 00:48:56,756 --> 00:48:59,748 His homies will make just a couple of quid on each pukka. 775 00:48:59,826 --> 00:49:02,795 His homies are also scoping for other dealers on the block. 776 00:49:02,863 --> 00:49:05,798 When the homies have an illegitimate pukka "E" dealer in their website, 777 00:49:05,866 --> 00:49:07,800 they tell the bouncers. 778 00:49:07,868 --> 00:49:11,531 The bouncers grip him, nab his stash and kick him out with a physical warning. 779 00:49:11,605 --> 00:49:15,803 Gives the pukka E's to their homies and they knock out to the kids in the club. 780 00:49:15,876 --> 00:49:17,901 What's your name? What have you had? 781 00:49:17,978 --> 00:49:20,879 Reach for the lasers. Safe as fuck. 782 00:49:31,890 --> 00:49:35,824 [ Crowd Cheering ] 783 00:49:44,204 --> 00:49:48,766 [ Women Shouting ] Hi, Jerry! We came all the way from Cardiff to say hi! 784 00:49:48,842 --> 00:49:50,969 [ Woman ] Excuse me, girls. Hi, we're doing a documentary... 785 00:49:51,044 --> 00:49:53,911 for television on the British club culture. 786 00:49:53,980 --> 00:49:56,107 - Would you mind answering a few question? - Yeah, fire away. 787 00:49:56,182 --> 00:49:59,083 Ah, great. Okay, Eric? Okay. 788 00:49:59,152 --> 00:50:02,212 Um, can I start by asking why you come to these nights? 789 00:50:02,289 --> 00:50:04,484 Oh, I'd like to answer that one, if I may. 790 00:50:04,558 --> 00:50:06,492 Sure. Go ahead. 791 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:10,223 To get absolutely trashed. 792 00:50:10,297 --> 00:50:14,097 - Do you take ecstasy? - No, no. Well, we used to, 793 00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:17,398 but now we just jack up heroin and float around the club. 794 00:50:17,470 --> 00:50:19,335 You take heroin to come to the club? 795 00:50:19,406 --> 00:50:23,137 Yeah, well, we never used to, but then we saw Trainspotting, didn't we? 796 00:50:23,209 --> 00:50:25,177 And that just made us want to do it. 797 00:50:25,245 --> 00:50:29,341 And sometimes if we watch New Jack City before we go out, we smoke a bit of crack too. 798 00:50:29,416 --> 00:50:32,283 We just seem to be so impressionable. 799 00:50:32,352 --> 00:50:35,150 Well, it's the youth of today, you see. 800 00:50:35,221 --> 00:50:37,781 They need older people to show them how to live. 801 00:50:37,857 --> 00:50:42,521 Yeah. See, we learn from their mistakes because they've done it all before. 802 00:50:42,596 --> 00:50:44,894 - Yeah. Look at Jimi Hendrix. - And Elvis. 803 00:50:44,965 --> 00:50:47,331 - And Sting. - Sting's not dead yet. 804 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:51,302 - No, but he should be. [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] 805 00:50:51,371 --> 00:50:53,430 Oh, uh, sorry. Do you have the time? 806 00:50:53,506 --> 00:50:55,440 Um, yeah, it's quarter to 1:00. 807 00:50:55,508 --> 00:50:58,204 Oh, shit. We've gotta go. We're late for our next hit. 808 00:50:58,278 --> 00:51:00,212 - Hi, Mom! - Hi, Mom! 809 00:51:04,321 --> 00:51:05,500 Bye! 810 00:51:05,524 --> 00:51:07,149 Fuckin' piss-trickers. 811 00:51:08,649 --> 00:51:10,482 What the fuck are we doin' here? 812 00:51:12,316 --> 00:51:15,315 It don't go like anyone says. It's not like it's used to be. 813 00:51:15,316 --> 00:51:17,523 It's gone too wide spread. 814 00:51:17,524 --> 00:51:23,106 It used to attract like open-minded people who--, who were lookin' for something new. 815 00:51:23,107 --> 00:51:26,441 - Yeah, yeah. And people were a lot more friendly. - Oh, yeah. 816 00:51:27,149 --> 00:51:32,482 Now, it's sometimes a cliché, right, to talk to a stranger in a club for something. 817 00:51:32,691 --> 00:51:36,524 This is essentive everyone's common together and doing what the fuck they liked. 818 00:51:36,941 --> 00:51:39,774 - And the more like people were over, the more they've got fun it. - That's it. 819 00:51:39,857 --> 00:51:45,941 - And now, look here. They so much more playing down, I'm so cool. Fuck off! - Yeah. 820 00:51:46,149 --> 00:51:49,274 We have lost the fundamental reason for using the "E" in the first place? 821 00:51:49,816 --> 00:51:52,857 Which is to leave the ego at the door, 822 00:51:53,149 --> 00:51:57,857 and feel comfortable enough to communicate with strangers. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? 823 00:51:58,274 --> 00:52:00,732 Oi, easy, man?! Fff... 824 00:52:02,566 --> 00:52:03,941 Twat! 825 00:52:04,691 --> 00:52:07,441 Ah, do you remember when this was Tom Toms, man? 826 00:52:07,641 --> 00:52:09,941 [ Both Laughing ] - Tom Toms. - Highly, hi! 827 00:52:10,111 --> 00:52:13,444 [ Indistinct Club Chattering ] 828 00:52:15,666 --> 00:52:18,999 [ Club Music Playing ] 829 00:52:48,857 --> 00:52:51,274 - Oklahoma! - Oooh! 830 00:53:02,566 --> 00:53:04,932 Right. I'm gonna tell you something. 831 00:53:05,002 --> 00:53:09,166 If this ever spreads, I will fucking die, right? 832 00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:13,336 I know you won't. I know, I know, but I'm just saying. Yeah? 833 00:53:13,410 --> 00:53:15,344 - Okay. Are you ready? - Yeah. 834 00:53:15,412 --> 00:53:17,346 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 835 00:53:17,414 --> 00:53:19,848 - All right. - [ Jip Narrating ] You're gonna regret this in the morning, Jip. 836 00:53:19,917 --> 00:53:22,181 I am sexually paranoid. 837 00:53:22,253 --> 00:53:25,882 I'm sexually paranoid. I'm sexually paranoid. 838 00:53:30,761 --> 00:53:34,458 Welcome to the '90s, Jip. 839 00:53:34,532 --> 00:53:36,864 Seriously. Sorry. Go on. 840 00:53:36,934 --> 00:53:40,700 Well, I kiss girls and all, yeah? And it's fine. 841 00:53:40,771 --> 00:53:45,401 And as soon as I sense that they want sex, 842 00:53:45,476 --> 00:53:48,912 I just make my fucking excuses and I'm out of there, man. 843 00:53:50,214 --> 00:53:54,275 - I know. It's pathetic. I know it is. - No, no. 844 00:53:54,351 --> 00:53:58,219 Everything happens for a reason, Jip. 845 00:53:58,289 --> 00:54:01,224 Yeah, but this is not me, Lu. Do you know what I-- This is not me. 846 00:54:02,293 --> 00:54:04,227 Give me an example. 847 00:54:06,497 --> 00:54:09,694 - An example? - Mm-hmm. 848 00:54:09,767 --> 00:54:11,792 All right. Uh-- 849 00:54:17,608 --> 00:54:19,542 What had you been doing? 850 00:54:19,610 --> 00:54:23,410 Well, I was stoned. Absolutely stoned out me trumpet, man. 851 00:54:25,683 --> 00:54:29,210 - You just do not look like you're enjoying this at all. - I know, I know. 852 00:54:29,286 --> 00:54:31,652 - Listen to this, listen to this. - [ Thinking ] She's more experienced than you. 853 00:54:31,722 --> 00:54:36,091 She's gonna see your cock soon. Say she's disappointed. Stop thinking this shit! 854 00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:38,856 Come on. You're gonna fuck the arse off her. She's gonna love it. 855 00:54:38,929 --> 00:54:42,524 Say if you lose it during sex. I bet she's had some amazing shags in her time. 856 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:46,593 Oh, shut up, shut up! Oh, no. Fuck. Oh, it's going down. 857 00:54:46,670 --> 00:54:50,436 - Oh, God, please, please do me this solid. - [ Yelling ] 858 00:54:50,507 --> 00:54:54,671 - [ Laughing ] - Listen to this, listen to this. 859 00:54:54,745 --> 00:54:58,704 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 860 00:54:58,782 --> 00:55:01,376 Are you okay? 861 00:55:01,452 --> 00:55:05,786 Yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm fine. Uh. 862 00:55:05,856 --> 00:55:09,053 Just a bit tired, that's all. Sorry. 863 00:55:14,298 --> 00:55:19,065 - I've never had that happen to me before. - She's making it worse, man! 864 00:55:19,136 --> 00:55:21,127 It was my fault. If it wasn't for the way my head was thinking, 865 00:55:21,205 --> 00:55:23,139 everything would've been fine. You know what I mean? 866 00:55:23,207 --> 00:55:27,303 That is bollocks. We're not fucking robots. There's no rules to sex. 867 00:55:30,014 --> 00:55:33,177 I've gotta get up in the morning. I'd better go, okay? 868 00:55:33,250 --> 00:55:35,844 Um, okay. 869 00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,354 [ Chuckling ] Oh, no. 870 00:55:38,422 --> 00:55:42,085 Now she's paranoid. She thinks it's to do with her. 871 00:55:42,159 --> 00:55:45,856 - Yeah. - Yeah. I'll, I'll give you a call, yeah? 872 00:55:48,165 --> 00:55:50,793 Bye. 873 00:55:50,868 --> 00:55:53,200 All I could think was-- 874 00:55:55,005 --> 00:55:58,304 Fuck me. I'm impotent. 875 00:56:00,811 --> 00:56:05,339 [ Chuckling ] Oh, poor baby. 876 00:56:05,416 --> 00:56:07,350 Come here. 877 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:16,123 [ Club Music Playing ] 878 00:56:48,191 --> 00:56:50,455 [ Jip Narrating ] The present has gone. 879 00:56:50,527 --> 00:56:53,325 Fantasy is a part of reality, 880 00:56:53,396 --> 00:56:55,660 and we take the brakes off. 881 00:56:55,732 --> 00:56:58,963 We're thinking clearly, yet not thinking at all. 882 00:57:00,069 --> 00:57:02,731 And this feels right. 883 00:57:02,806 --> 00:57:05,570 We stop trying to control things. 884 00:57:05,642 --> 00:57:09,442 Warm rush of chemicals through us. 885 00:57:09,512 --> 00:57:11,480 We're fluctuating. 886 00:57:12,549 --> 00:57:15,416 Is this brain damage? 887 00:57:15,485 --> 00:57:20,013 We forget all the pain and the hurt in life. We wanna go somewhere else. 888 00:57:20,089 --> 00:57:23,081 We're not threatened by people anymore. 889 00:57:23,159 --> 00:57:27,653 All our insecurities have evaporated. 890 00:57:27,730 --> 00:57:31,291 We're in the clouds now. We're wide open. 891 00:57:31,367 --> 00:57:34,734 We're spacemen orbiting the Earth. 892 00:57:34,804 --> 00:57:38,763 Yeah, the world looks beautiful from here, man. 893 00:57:38,842 --> 00:57:43,870 We're nympholeptics desiring for the unobtainable. 894 00:57:43,947 --> 00:57:48,179 We risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment. 895 00:57:48,251 --> 00:57:52,620 So many ideas. So little memory. 896 00:57:52,689 --> 00:57:56,785 The last thought killed by anticipation of the next. 897 00:57:56,860 --> 00:58:00,660 We embrace an overwhelming feeling of love. 898 00:58:00,730 --> 00:58:04,461 We flow in unison. We're together. 899 00:58:04,534 --> 00:58:06,764 I wish this was real. 900 00:58:06,836 --> 00:58:09,896 We want a universal level of togetherness... 901 00:58:09,973 --> 00:58:13,204 where we're comfortable with everyone. 902 00:58:13,276 --> 00:58:17,542 We're in rhythm. Part of a movement. 903 00:58:17,614 --> 00:58:22,347 A movement to escape. We wave good-bye. 904 00:58:22,418 --> 00:58:25,182 Ultimately, we just wanna be happy. 905 00:58:26,322 --> 00:58:28,517 Yeah. Yeah. 906 00:58:28,591 --> 00:58:31,583 [ Chuckles ] Hang on. 907 00:58:31,661 --> 00:58:34,824 What, what the fuck was I just talking about? 908 00:58:34,898 --> 00:58:36,832 [ Laughing ] 909 00:59:15,357 --> 00:59:18,793 [ Jip Narrating ] Koop is having severe trouble adjusting to the love boat, man. 910 00:59:19,107 --> 00:59:21,361 Everytime we go out, he's always gonna spoil it for himself. 911 00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:24,399 And it's painful to see what's his pussy ahead through. 912 00:59:24,857 --> 00:59:27,478 He gets jealous of men even looking at Nina. 913 00:59:27,714 --> 00:59:30,880 You know, he feels threatened by any bloke that speaks to her. 914 00:59:30,951 --> 00:59:35,251 Nina knows a lot of people. I mean, she's a really affectionate character. 915 00:59:35,816 --> 00:59:37,977 But she's fallen for Koop in a big way. 916 00:59:38,051 --> 00:59:41,714 He's so fucking lucky, man. I'd do anything to have what he's got. 917 00:59:41,788 --> 00:59:44,484 But he's stupid, you know? He's fucking it up with his male ego. 918 00:59:44,732 --> 00:59:47,428 He gets paranoid with everyone, man. 919 00:59:47,501 --> 00:59:50,163 Shit, he even gets it with his mates. 920 01:00:08,149 --> 01:00:10,447 [ Thinking ] You wanna fuck her, don't you? 921 01:00:12,454 --> 01:00:14,513 - No. - Don't fucking lie to me. 922 01:00:14,589 --> 01:00:18,355 You've been staring at her arse for the last ten minutes. 923 01:00:19,994 --> 01:00:22,827 Yeah, all right. Fair play, Koop. But fuck me, she's horny as fuck. 924 01:00:22,897 --> 01:00:25,661 I mean, I ain't gonna do nothing, am I? She's your bird, for fuck's sake. 925 01:00:25,734 --> 01:00:27,895 Yeah, that's right. She's my bird. My fucking bird. 926 01:00:27,969 --> 01:00:29,903 Do you understand that? So stop looking at her. 927 01:00:30,003 --> 01:00:34,632 Yeah, alright, Koop, mate. Yeah, alright. I'm just checking around, mate, like on the others, right? 928 01:00:34,732 --> 01:00:37,632 Yeah, but she's not all the fuckin' others. She's mine! 929 01:00:37,732 --> 01:00:39,825 - You can't stop me looking at her, Koop. - How dare you... 930 01:00:39,901 --> 01:00:42,233 imagine fancying Nina, you cunt, Moff!. 931 01:00:42,303 --> 01:00:44,737 Hold up a minute. Hold up. 932 01:00:44,806 --> 01:00:47,331 What are you, the fucking thought police or something? What this, what? 933 01:00:47,408 --> 01:00:49,376 Listen, Moff, you can look at any other girl in here. 934 01:00:49,444 --> 01:00:51,708 Pick 'em. There's plenty to choose from. Just not her! 935 01:00:51,779 --> 01:00:54,043 Yeah, Koop. I'm with you 100%, mate. 936 01:00:54,115 --> 01:00:57,141 But, I mean, how do I know the next bird ain't gonna have a bloke? 937 01:00:57,218 --> 01:00:59,152 No, no, fuck that, Moff. Fuck it! 938 01:00:59,220 --> 01:01:02,087 Because it wouldn't matter to you anyway. You'd still imagine fucking her, wouldn't you? 939 01:01:02,157 --> 01:01:04,523 Yeah. Do you know why you know the answer to that, Koop? 940 01:01:04,592 --> 01:01:06,526 Why do I know that, Moff?. Why do I know? 941 01:01:06,594 --> 01:01:08,926 Because you're just the same as the rest of us, mate. 942 01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:29,174 - So, babe, was it fucking proper or what? - I had a shit hot time. 943 01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:31,844 Listen, there's a party happening in Super Ely, all right? 944 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,480 - Yeah, I know. I'm going with my mates. - What mates? 945 01:01:34,556 --> 01:01:37,525 - My mates. - Nice one, Lee. I'll see you in the wheels, all right, man? 946 01:01:37,592 --> 01:01:40,425 True, man. Nice, nice. 947 01:01:40,495 --> 01:01:43,157 - I'll see you in a bit, yeah? - Yeah. 948 01:01:43,231 --> 01:01:45,563 Who the fuck are those dodgy fuckers? 949 01:01:47,669 --> 01:01:49,603 Lee? 950 01:01:52,106 --> 01:01:55,701 - [ Coughing ] - [ Laughing ] 951 01:01:56,987 --> 01:01:59,549 Virgin toker, is it, Lee? 952 01:02:02,649 --> 01:02:06,816 No, you wanna stick with me, Lee. I'm like fucking Ziggy Marley or something, man. I'm telling you. 953 01:02:07,566 --> 01:02:09,316 No, I'm Ziggy Marlon. 954 01:02:10,107 --> 01:02:12,441 Ziggy Marlon's in tha motherfucking house! 955 01:02:12,649 --> 01:02:14,482 Sorted, man. 956 01:02:15,649 --> 01:02:17,566 Workin' the fucking Herb man. 957 01:02:18,107 --> 01:02:21,856 I smoked enough thai, weren't it be? Not with these pussies, man, I'm telling you. 958 01:02:21,857 --> 01:02:24,832 - Have you fuck! - I know I am. - Man, don't fucking trip! 959 01:02:24,982 --> 01:02:28,023 You're the one who's trippin', mate. You've got a fucking kiddies lung. 960 01:02:28,024 --> 01:02:32,524 See man, I was doin' buckets, see, when you was a twitch in your father's nutsack. 961 01:02:32,732 --> 01:02:35,774 - Not at all. - See, you idiot. - Not at all! - See, you idiot! 962 01:02:35,941 --> 01:02:38,191 - What you're on about? - What you're on about, man? 963 01:02:38,316 --> 01:02:40,149 - What you're on about? - Who the fuck's on about? 964 01:02:40,274 --> 01:02:43,107 - What you're on about? - Well, I know who's on about, and you're on about. 965 01:02:43,191 --> 01:02:46,316 - He's been smoking longer than you. - What the fuck you're on about? 966 01:02:46,399 --> 01:02:48,107 What you're on about? 967 01:02:50,357 --> 01:02:53,941 - Your mother! Your mother! - What you're on about? - You bumberclot! 968 01:02:55,500 --> 01:02:58,350 [ Music Playing: Degrees of Motion ‒ Shine On ] ...Shine on (shine on)... 969 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:02,800 ...Let the light of love grow stronger, oooh... 970 01:03:03,500 --> 01:03:06,150 ...Shine on (shine on)... 971 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:10,150 ...You're the sun in my heart, a flame in the dark... 972 01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:15,900 ...So let the light of love shine on. 973 01:03:16,274 --> 01:03:19,209 - [ Continues Indistinct ] - Fuckin' hell, mate. It's like a fucking video game, this. 974 01:03:19,277 --> 01:03:22,440 Fucking lights and shit everywhere. [ Laughs ] 975 01:03:24,449 --> 01:03:26,383 Whoo! 976 01:03:26,451 --> 01:03:30,182 Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know you gonna dig this! 977 01:03:30,255 --> 01:03:33,520 Oh, yeah, baby. Come on, come on. 978 01:03:33,592 --> 01:03:36,390 - Come on! - [ Indistinct Chattering, Shouting ] 979 01:03:38,563 --> 01:03:41,498 Now, I'm gonna take you on a guided tour of the club casualties. 980 01:03:41,566 --> 01:03:45,366 - So come on! - Right! Let's do it! 981 01:03:45,437 --> 01:03:47,997 We're all getting laid tonight! 982 01:03:48,073 --> 01:03:50,268 Oh! Oh! 983 01:03:52,944 --> 01:03:54,878 Fuckin' hell. It's Dynasty! 984 01:03:54,946 --> 01:03:56,880 [ Dance Music ] 985 01:03:58,066 --> 01:04:02,524 - Fuck me man, Roni Size's got the fucking balls! - That's exact what I was gonna say, man. 986 01:04:05,691 --> 01:04:08,232 - Are you fuckin' takin' a piss, man? - What? 987 01:04:08,982 --> 01:04:12,316 - Are you fuckin' takin' a piss out of me? - What the fuck's this commin' from, man? 988 01:04:13,566 --> 01:04:18,524 Sometimes, man, I look in your eyes, and all I see is fucking resentment. 989 01:04:21,316 --> 01:04:25,232 That's pa-ra-no-ia! M-mmm... 990 01:04:28,149 --> 01:04:31,441 - So who do you know, bruv? - Every motherfucker. 991 01:04:31,524 --> 01:04:35,524 St. Mellons Crew, Lanederyn Posse, Talbots Crew, Docks posse. 992 01:04:35,607 --> 01:04:38,815 - Oh bruv, I have a cousin on the Docks, man. - On the Docks? - Yeah. 993 01:04:38,816 --> 01:04:43,816 Cool gang and crew, they're smokin' ganja on the beach, man. That's the fucking motherland, you know what I'm sayin'? 994 01:05:06,024 --> 01:05:08,686 - All right, babe? - What the fuck you doing to me? 995 01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:11,490 - What are you talking about? - Talking to that bloke in the club. 996 01:05:11,563 --> 01:05:14,396 - You kept on touching his chest. - Did I? Who? 997 01:05:14,466 --> 01:05:16,934 You fucking know who. 998 01:05:17,002 --> 01:05:19,027 Right in front of me as well. 999 01:05:19,104 --> 01:05:21,971 You know, it scares me to imagine what you're like when I'm not around. 1000 01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,941 Yeah, this all sounds a bit familiar really, doesn't it, lovely? 1001 01:05:25,010 --> 01:05:27,877 Yeah, well, how about a little bit of consideration, eh? 1002 01:05:27,946 --> 01:05:31,211 I don't want you talking like that with other boys. It affects me. 1003 01:05:31,283 --> 01:05:34,616 Look, Koop, I really can't be pissed with this one again tonight. 1004 01:05:34,686 --> 01:05:38,417 I haven't done anything wrong. You're just being paranoid. 1005 01:05:38,490 --> 01:05:40,424 Sort it out, for fuck's sake. 1006 01:05:40,492 --> 01:05:42,517 Would you like it-- Would you like it if I was flirting with a girl... 1007 01:05:42,594 --> 01:05:44,528 while I kept on touching her chest, would you? 1008 01:05:44,596 --> 01:05:48,191 - Only if she had better tits than me. - No, fuck off, Nin. 1009 01:05:48,266 --> 01:05:50,257 Don't give me that shit. 1010 01:05:50,335 --> 01:05:52,599 You always-- You always-- 1011 01:05:52,671 --> 01:05:55,071 You're always touching people, aren't you? 1012 01:05:55,140 --> 01:05:59,907 But that doesn't mean to say I'm flirting with anyone, for fuck's sake! 1013 01:05:59,978 --> 01:06:03,072 I don't know how much more reassurance I can give you. 1014 01:06:03,148 --> 01:06:05,343 What do I have to do? 1015 01:06:06,685 --> 01:06:09,279 Don't you trust me? 1016 01:06:09,354 --> 01:06:12,346 Answer me! Don't you trust me, Koop? 1017 01:06:13,759 --> 01:06:16,819 [ Scoffs ] 1018 01:06:16,995 --> 01:06:20,294 Yeah, man, Star Wars is definitely about drug culture, man. 1019 01:06:20,365 --> 01:06:22,663 There's no fucking question. It has to be, man. 1020 01:06:22,734 --> 01:06:24,668 You're telling me, And. You're telling me. 1021 01:06:24,736 --> 01:06:26,897 I mean, what was Jabba smoking in that big glass pipe? 1022 01:06:26,972 --> 01:06:29,167 Come on! What are we, thick? You know what I mean? 1023 01:06:29,241 --> 01:06:31,368 - It was fucking opium. - Of course it was opium! You know it was! 1024 01:06:31,443 --> 01:06:33,775 You see his tongue, man? And that fucking tail! 1025 01:06:33,845 --> 01:06:36,006 Listen, listen, Han Solo, yeah? 1026 01:06:36,081 --> 01:06:38,606 He's got a smuggling compartment in the Millennium Falcon, isn't he? 1027 01:06:38,683 --> 01:06:40,810 He's only an intergalactic smack dealer, isn't he? 1028 01:06:40,886 --> 01:06:42,820 Fucking gets up there! 1029 01:06:42,888 --> 01:06:45,823 Listen, Yoda, man, as well. He's been coming down for about 500 years. 1030 01:06:45,891 --> 01:06:47,825 - Of course he is, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's fucked, the poor bastard. 1031 01:06:47,893 --> 01:06:50,953 He's used to be, you know, really tall and handsome, but you know, you know-- 1032 01:06:51,029 --> 01:06:52,963 - What, like Chewbacca? - Yeah. 1033 01:06:53,031 --> 01:06:54,999 - [ Trilling ] - [ Howling ] Can't do it. You know what I mean. 1034 01:06:55,066 --> 01:06:57,864 - Now he's fucking-- Now he's like two foot high... - Yeah. 1035 01:06:57,936 --> 01:07:00,769 - and, and fucking pointed tabs, white hair and hooves. - Hooves. 1036 01:07:00,839 --> 01:07:03,569 That's what I was gonna say. The fucking hooves, man. What a comedown. 1037 01:07:03,642 --> 01:07:06,008 What about the emperor? The fucking emperor. 1038 01:07:06,077 --> 01:07:08,443 The king crackhead of the galaxy, yeah? 1039 01:07:08,513 --> 01:07:10,572 He's got so much fucking hard cash... 1040 01:07:10,649 --> 01:07:13,379 from selling crack to space junkies, yeah? 1041 01:07:13,452 --> 01:07:16,580 He's only gone and built his own planet, you know what I mean? 1042 01:07:16,655 --> 01:07:18,623 - On drug money. - The fucking Death Star. 1043 01:07:18,690 --> 01:07:21,591 - The Death Star! - And he's sat in there going like, 1044 01:07:21,660 --> 01:07:23,594 "Come on, more power! More power!" 1045 01:07:23,662 --> 01:07:25,789 - It's like, you know, and Yoda's like-- - Yeah, yeah. 1046 01:07:25,864 --> 01:07:27,798 And he's in chilled-out land. 1047 01:07:27,866 --> 01:07:30,892 - Yeah, be suited and all that. - Be creative, yeah. 1048 01:07:34,706 --> 01:07:37,038 What was I talking about? 1049 01:07:37,108 --> 01:07:39,668 - Huh? - What was I talking about? 1050 01:07:39,744 --> 01:07:41,769 - What, just now? - Yeah. 1051 01:07:45,116 --> 01:07:47,482 - Your dad. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1052 01:07:47,552 --> 01:07:49,645 Yeah, well, tell you what, mate. 1053 01:07:49,721 --> 01:07:51,712 Thing about my old boy is, is that I love him and that. 1054 01:07:51,790 --> 01:07:54,953 He's always been there for me and... 1055 01:07:55,026 --> 01:07:59,292 always spoke to me on my level and that when I was a kid, yeah, 1056 01:07:59,364 --> 01:08:02,663 but I'll tell you what. 1057 01:08:02,734 --> 01:08:05,828 - I'm really worried about him. - You're worried about him? 1058 01:08:05,904 --> 01:08:08,134 - Yeah. - Why, man? 1059 01:08:08,206 --> 01:08:10,674 Why? 1060 01:08:10,742 --> 01:08:12,733 He thinks I'm two identical twins... 1061 01:08:12,811 --> 01:08:15,279 pretending to be the same person. 1062 01:08:15,347 --> 01:08:17,372 Keeps calling me Leon. 1063 01:08:18,650 --> 01:08:21,744 [ Sighs ] Fucking hell. 1064 01:08:21,820 --> 01:08:25,347 Yeah, mate. And I'll tell you what. 1065 01:08:25,423 --> 01:08:28,586 He's getting worse in there as well. 1066 01:08:28,660 --> 01:08:32,426 Those drugs they're giving him, they're fucking his head up, mate. 1067 01:08:34,633 --> 01:08:36,624 Fuck. 1068 01:08:38,703 --> 01:08:42,696 - So, what, he thinks you're two people? - Yeah. 1069 01:08:42,774 --> 01:08:44,901 - Fuck. - Yeah. 1070 01:08:44,976 --> 01:08:47,444 Fair play, man. That's pretty west, isn't it? 1071 01:08:49,347 --> 01:08:53,215 Yeah, but you know, sanity, man, how do you define that? 1072 01:08:53,285 --> 01:08:56,049 You know, how do you define sanity, you know? 1073 01:08:56,121 --> 01:08:58,351 You know, who's to to say that, you know, the people that, 1074 01:08:58,423 --> 01:09:00,391 you know, supposed to be mad, you know, 1075 01:09:00,458 --> 01:09:03,325 who's to say that they're, you know, just not tapped into... 1076 01:09:03,395 --> 01:09:05,727 - a higher sensory perception or something, you know? - Hmm. Mmm. 1077 01:09:05,797 --> 01:09:09,255 Into, you know, a different kind of universe, they're way ahead, you know? 1078 01:09:09,334 --> 01:09:12,770 - You know? And we just haven't caught up yet. - Ah. 1079 01:09:12,837 --> 01:09:14,828 Listen to this. 1080 01:09:14,906 --> 01:09:18,865 The emperor wants to control outer space. 1081 01:09:18,944 --> 01:09:23,881 Yoda wants to explore inner space. 1082 01:09:23,949 --> 01:09:27,885 That's the fundamental difference between the good and the bad sides... 1083 01:09:27,953 --> 01:09:29,978 of the Force. 1084 01:09:35,393 --> 01:09:39,853 - Shit. Shit. - You know what I mean? Fuck! 1085 01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:43,594 - Fuck's sake, man! - I just don't know where it comes from sometimes. And, 1086 01:09:43,668 --> 01:09:45,898 do you know what I mean? It frightens me. 1087 01:09:45,971 --> 01:09:49,031 [ Rapping ] There's not a problem that I can't fix 'cause I can do it in the mix 1088 01:09:49,107 --> 01:09:51,598 And if your man gives you trouble, just you move out on the double 1089 01:09:51,676 --> 01:09:53,644 And you don't let it trouble your brain 1090 01:09:53,712 --> 01:09:57,944 'Cause away goes trouble down the drain 1091 01:09:58,016 --> 01:10:01,577 Said away goes trouble down the drain 1092 01:10:01,653 --> 01:10:06,920 I want E.T.'s to abduct me from planet Cardiff. 1093 01:10:06,992 --> 01:10:11,156 - Come on, you fuckers! Let's go! - [ Laughing ] 1094 01:10:16,267 --> 01:10:18,599 You can't blame them for not coming though. 1095 01:10:18,670 --> 01:10:23,004 I mean, they've only gotta fucking check out the 10:00 News... 1096 01:10:23,074 --> 01:10:28,478 and check out all the murders and diseases and wars. 1097 01:10:28,546 --> 01:10:30,707 ?Jada Doherty? 1098 01:10:30,782 --> 01:10:32,716 [ Both Laughing ] 1099 01:10:37,922 --> 01:10:40,220 Ohh. 1100 01:10:40,291 --> 01:10:44,853 Take me to a world where the drugs are free, 1101 01:10:44,929 --> 01:10:47,591 the clubs have no gravity, 1102 01:10:47,666 --> 01:10:51,102 and every shag guarantees an orgasm! 1103 01:10:51,169 --> 01:10:53,899 Yes! Two orgasms! 1104 01:10:53,972 --> 01:10:55,906 - Yes! - Yeah! 1105 01:10:55,974 --> 01:10:58,636 He's a genius, um, Socrates. 1106 01:10:58,710 --> 01:11:01,338 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah? And he's given it all that. 1107 01:11:01,413 --> 01:11:03,381 And they're going, "What? What, Socrates? 1108 01:11:03,448 --> 01:11:05,416 Man, you're off your tit! What are you talking about?" 1109 01:11:05,483 --> 01:11:08,008 You know, they fucking thought he was mad, you know. 1110 01:11:08,086 --> 01:11:12,045 And this guy, you know, he-- he sped up evolution of mankind, you know? 1111 01:11:12,123 --> 01:11:14,455 He fuckin', you know-- He was a genius, this guy. 1112 01:11:14,526 --> 01:11:16,460 They thought he was crazy. You know what I mean? 1113 01:11:16,528 --> 01:11:18,496 I mean, they lock these people up, right? 1114 01:11:18,563 --> 01:11:20,497 But you know, they should let 'em out, man. 1115 01:11:20,565 --> 01:11:22,829 They should fuckin' put these people in Parliament and that. 1116 01:11:22,901 --> 01:11:25,199 You know what I mean? Fucking put them in Parliament. 1117 01:11:25,270 --> 01:11:27,204 You know, they're talking sense, these people. 1118 01:11:27,272 --> 01:11:31,174 Put your dad on that fucking chair in Parliament and listen to that man! 1119 01:11:31,242 --> 01:11:33,301 - You know? Deal with that! - Yeah, man! 1120 01:11:33,378 --> 01:11:35,312 - You know what I mean? - Yeah! 1121 01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:37,746 - Fuckin' mad. Bollocks. - I mean, you know, 1122 01:11:37,816 --> 01:11:40,478 we're not in hospital and that, but we're not normal, are we? 1123 01:11:42,987 --> 01:11:45,319 Look. Are we fuck. 1124 01:11:45,390 --> 01:11:49,190 [ Laughing ] 1125 01:11:49,260 --> 01:11:51,922 Oh, my God, look at your eyes. Look at yours. 1126 01:11:51,996 --> 01:11:55,090 You're fucked. You're sl-- Look at that! 1127 01:11:55,166 --> 01:11:57,100 - Oh, my God! - I'm fucked. 1128 01:11:57,168 --> 01:11:59,102 - Oh, my God! Oh, my, no! - You're fucked! 1129 01:11:59,170 --> 01:12:01,104 - You're fucked! - You're so fucked! 1130 01:12:01,172 --> 01:12:03,640 - No, no. Oh, you're-- - And look at me. 1131 01:12:03,708 --> 01:12:06,370 No, I'm all right. I'm all right. 1132 01:12:06,444 --> 01:12:08,639 - I'm looking fine. I feel fine. - Yeah. 1133 01:12:08,713 --> 01:12:10,647 - Little bit tired I'm all right. - Yeah, well-- 1134 01:12:10,715 --> 01:12:12,649 - Morning. Morning! - Morning. 1135 01:12:12,717 --> 01:12:14,651 - Morning. Nurse. - [ Whistling ] 1136 01:12:14,719 --> 01:12:16,710 - Nurse! - I need a piss pot. 1137 01:12:16,788 --> 01:12:19,348 - I need a piss pot and a pan. - And a-- And a brush. 1138 01:12:19,424 --> 01:12:22,120 - And a brush and a doctor. - And some Haagen-Dazs. 1139 01:12:22,193 --> 01:12:24,661 - And some-- [ Laughs ] - And a-- And a ho! 1140 01:12:24,729 --> 01:12:26,720 - Fuck it! Bring me a ho! - Bring me all that shit! 1141 01:12:26,798 --> 01:12:31,861 - We gonna eat tonight! - I need a normal doctor 'cause I'm fucked! 1142 01:12:37,909 --> 01:12:40,377 - I'm fucked. - [ Laughs ] 1143 01:12:40,857 --> 01:12:43,107 Are you my best mate? 1144 01:12:43,191 --> 01:12:46,899 Yes. I am your best mate. 1145 01:12:48,149 --> 01:12:52,524 If I told you a secret, you won't tell anybody else? 1146 01:12:53,316 --> 01:12:55,566 No. Definitely not. 1147 01:13:03,566 --> 01:13:05,649 I can voluntarily... 1148 01:13:06,482 --> 01:13:09,066 perform a funny fart at any time. 1149 01:13:16,482 --> 01:13:18,732 God, that's disgusting. 1150 01:13:19,441 --> 01:13:22,024 - Do I want to show you? - No. 1151 01:13:22,649 --> 01:13:23,899 But, ... 1152 01:13:24,024 --> 01:13:26,774 I think that makes me love you more. 1153 01:13:27,245 --> 01:13:29,338 [ Door Opens ] 1154 01:13:32,232 --> 01:13:36,760 Now we've reached the hour of spliff politics. 1155 01:13:36,837 --> 01:13:41,433 It's the time of the night when everyone knows who's got a spliff... 1156 01:13:41,508 --> 01:13:43,567 and in which direction it's going. 1157 01:13:43,644 --> 01:13:45,578 See Casey in the hood? 1158 01:13:45,646 --> 01:13:50,709 He doesn't know Herbie, the kid skinning up next to him. 1159 01:13:53,287 --> 01:13:57,348 But to get a toke, he's got to start up some bullshit conversation, 1160 01:13:57,424 --> 01:14:00,257 and keep it going until he gets passed the spliff. 1161 01:14:00,327 --> 01:14:03,524 Smells like soap bar to me. Can't fault a bit of solid. 1162 01:14:03,597 --> 01:14:05,758 Now look at Herbie's face. 1163 01:14:05,833 --> 01:14:10,202 He knows what's up. He's just hoping Casey will run out of steam... 1164 01:14:10,270 --> 01:14:15,298 so that he can pass the spliff to his mate Felix. 1165 01:14:15,376 --> 01:14:17,810 But Casey's determined to keep on going. 1166 01:14:17,878 --> 01:14:21,780 - I grows my own shit too. - [ Marks ] He's got to be clever to get in there. 1167 01:14:21,849 --> 01:14:23,874 Just a few more laps to go. 1168 01:14:23,951 --> 01:14:27,045 Casey is doing well. He's using all his best anecdotes, 1169 01:14:27,121 --> 01:14:30,887 and Herbie now seems quite engaged in the conversation. 1170 01:14:30,958 --> 01:14:33,483 - Felix is trying to get acknowledged. - Yeah, man. 1171 01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,551 Fuckin' homegrown. 1172 01:14:39,333 --> 01:14:41,460 Yeah, man, that homegrown shit's good, man. 1173 01:14:41,535 --> 01:14:45,335 - But it's not working. - Ah, I just remembered, man. 1174 01:14:45,732 --> 01:14:50,431 Millsy's coming down next week with some Thai. Go out and hoof it, man. 1175 01:14:49,899 --> 01:14:52,732 Wow, look at Casey's face. 1176 01:14:53,774 --> 01:14:56,732 Now, it looks like it's all been a waste of time and energy. 1177 01:14:56,857 --> 01:14:59,382 - Millsy? Millsy from Roath? - Yeah. 1178 01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:02,520 - But he counters. - Oh, I knows Millsy from down Silhouettes. 1179 01:15:02,597 --> 01:15:05,031 It's neck and neck here at the last lap. 1180 01:15:05,099 --> 01:15:07,693 - Hello, my little space kitten. - Fuckin' hell! 1181 01:15:07,768 --> 01:15:10,328 - Give us a toke on that. - Boomshanka! 1182 01:15:12,440 --> 01:15:16,001 An interception! 1183 01:15:16,077 --> 01:15:18,102 But that's always the chance you take. 1184 01:15:18,179 --> 01:15:20,374 [ Door Closes ] 1185 01:15:20,548 --> 01:15:24,348 [ Lulu ] Round and round the garden like a teddy bear. 1186 01:15:24,418 --> 01:15:27,387 [ Jip Chuckles ] Who's your teddy bear? 1187 01:15:29,123 --> 01:15:32,422 - One step, two steps-- - Don't tickle me, don't tickle me. 1188 01:15:32,493 --> 01:15:34,484 - Seriously. - I'm not going to. 1189 01:15:34,562 --> 01:15:36,655 I'm not gonna tickle you. I promise. 1190 01:15:36,731 --> 01:15:38,665 - Come here. - Where's your hand going? 1191 01:15:38,733 --> 01:15:41,224 I'm not gonna tickle you. I promise. 1192 01:15:43,471 --> 01:15:46,872 [ Thinking ] Please kiss me. Come on. 1193 01:15:46,941 --> 01:15:50,672 [ Thinking ] I don't know whether I'm reading this wrongly because I'm off my tits, 1194 01:15:50,745 --> 01:15:53,009 but does she want me to kiss her? 1195 01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:55,014 I'm gonna have to make the first move. 1196 01:15:55,082 --> 01:15:57,607 He's probably more nervous than I am. 1197 01:15:57,685 --> 01:16:01,086 I want to, but I'm scared. 1198 01:16:01,155 --> 01:16:04,921 If I've got this wrong, it will be so humiliating. 1199 01:16:30,818 --> 01:16:33,116 You know, it's like Vader, man, you know. 1200 01:16:33,187 --> 01:16:36,247 Bongin' really hard with a chest like that. 1201 01:16:39,927 --> 01:16:43,624 And, um, R2D2 when-- when he's-- 1202 01:16:43,698 --> 01:16:46,724 Remember that when, uh-- 1203 01:16:46,801 --> 01:16:49,429 You know-- Fuck it. 1204 01:16:58,679 --> 01:17:01,671 - You're a waste of time. - [ Dialogue Rewinds ] 1205 01:17:01,749 --> 01:17:05,116 Jip, just relax, man. Chill. It's no big deal. 1206 01:17:07,655 --> 01:17:11,591 I don't understand why you can't have sex with me. 1207 01:17:11,659 --> 01:17:13,854 - Sex with me. - [ Karen ] What's wrong? 1208 01:17:13,928 --> 01:17:18,490 Are you okay? I've never had that happen to me before. 1209 01:17:27,441 --> 01:17:29,466 There's no rush. 1210 01:17:30,978 --> 01:17:34,175 Don't be nervous. You're with me, remember? 1211 01:17:36,450 --> 01:17:39,180 Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. 1212 01:17:39,253 --> 01:17:41,483 And don't apologize. 1213 01:17:43,591 --> 01:17:46,253 Come here. Come here. 1214 01:17:52,867 --> 01:17:54,892 [ Jip Exhales ] 1215 01:17:58,205 --> 01:18:01,663 [ Jip Narrating ] Well, what goes up must come down. 1216 01:18:01,742 --> 01:18:04,677 And down... and down. 1217 01:18:04,745 --> 01:18:07,270 Everyone looks ill at the end of the night. 1218 01:18:07,348 --> 01:18:09,282 We've all lost the power of speech, 1219 01:18:09,350 --> 01:18:11,910 desperately avoiding eye contact. 1220 01:18:11,986 --> 01:18:15,183 Your new soul mate that you've been talking codshit to for the past five hours... 1221 01:18:15,256 --> 01:18:18,919 about the story of creation or the fourth Star Wars film... 1222 01:18:18,993 --> 01:18:20,927 is now a complete stranger. 1223 01:18:20,995 --> 01:18:22,929 You can't even look him in the eye. 1224 01:18:22,997 --> 01:18:25,727 The only thing you've got in common now is paranoia. 1225 01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,927 It's coming through the walls, man. 1226 01:18:28,002 --> 01:18:30,732 The children of ecstasy aren't safe anymore. 1227 01:18:30,805 --> 01:18:32,898 We're no longer all together as one, 1228 01:18:32,973 --> 01:18:37,967 but separate mental patients that yearn to be ejected out of this poisoned atmosphere... 1229 01:18:38,045 --> 01:18:41,071 to a warm bed and friendly therapists. 1230 01:18:41,148 --> 01:18:44,515 Reality's on her way. Where am I? 1231 01:18:44,585 --> 01:18:46,746 What have I done? 1232 01:18:46,821 --> 01:18:48,755 Was it worth it? 1233 01:18:48,823 --> 01:18:52,589 And by the way, what the fuck happened here? 1234 01:18:52,660 --> 01:18:56,528 All you have to look forward to now is unconsciousness, 1235 01:18:56,597 --> 01:18:59,191 but you can never sleep. 1236 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:05,000 [ Chill-out Music Playing ] 1237 01:20:30,899 --> 01:20:32,357 Whore. 1238 01:20:32,482 --> 01:20:34,191 Where? 1239 01:20:37,816 --> 01:20:38,566 Horny? 1240 01:20:38,774 --> 01:20:44,356 Do you realize, that you're fuckin' karí stained trousers in this relationshit. 1241 01:20:44,357 --> 01:20:46,524 - Kari, is it? - Kari Curry, isn't it? 1242 01:20:46,691 --> 01:20:47,982 - Kari, is it. - Kari Curry. 1243 01:20:48,357 --> 01:20:50,941 - Relationshit. - Kari, is it? 1244 01:20:52,441 --> 01:20:54,816 - Relationshit! - Relationshit! 1245 01:20:56,066 --> 01:20:58,066 Beep, beep, ... 1246 01:20:59,691 --> 01:21:03,315 - You fancy a piece of a dad, is it? - I'm sensitive woman! 1247 01:21:03,316 --> 01:21:05,691 Minxing, slut, huh! 1248 01:21:06,107 --> 01:21:09,232 - One, two, put down that ninja star. - Is it, is it? 1249 01:21:12,066 --> 01:21:16,398 Give me back my ninja star, because I'm beating you with the fuckin' nunchakas! 1250 01:21:16,399 --> 01:21:19,274 [ Male Voice ] Moff? I hardly recognized you. 1251 01:21:19,399 --> 01:21:21,560 Who says? 1252 01:21:23,691 --> 01:21:26,091 Reality? 1253 01:21:25,524 --> 01:21:29,756 Reality is that--is it you? Don't-- Don't fuckin' wind me up. 1254 01:21:29,107 --> 01:21:33,669 Moff, it's me. Honestly. Where the fuck have you been? 1255 01:21:33,482 --> 01:21:35,899 Reality, it's all-- It's all gone pear-shaped, mate. 1256 01:21:38,774 --> 01:21:40,867 I don't trust anybody in this room right now. 1257 01:21:40,943 --> 01:21:43,207 And they're my good fuckin' friends. I mean, Reality-- 1258 01:21:42,982 --> 01:21:46,941 What the fuck is going on? Wh-What's happening to me, for fuck's sake? 1259 01:21:46,607 --> 01:21:49,007 Moff, you've hammered it too much for too long. 1260 01:21:49,857 --> 01:21:52,717 Knock the drugs on the head. Clear out. 1261 01:21:52,793 --> 01:21:54,191 We can work together. 1262 01:22:19,649 --> 01:22:22,117 [ Karen's Voice ] You're a waste of time. 1263 01:22:21,191 --> 01:22:23,591 [ Jip Thinking ] Go away. 1264 01:22:23,660 --> 01:22:27,152 Come on, stay with her. Stay with her. 1265 01:22:27,230 --> 01:22:29,824 [ Woman ] I don't understand why you can't have sex with me. 1266 01:22:29,899 --> 01:22:31,833 Shut up! 1267 01:22:34,070 --> 01:22:36,038 Come on, come on, Jip. Don't be afraid. 1268 01:22:36,106 --> 01:22:39,005 [ Karen's Voice ] I've never had that happen to me before. 1269 01:22:39,075 --> 01:22:41,269 [ Thinking ] Go on. Go with her. Go with her. Move her. 1270 01:22:41,343 --> 01:22:43,572 Move with her. 1271 01:22:43,645 --> 01:22:45,805 [ Lulu Thinking ] Go with him. 1272 01:22:51,587 --> 01:22:54,112 [ Thinking ] Oh, look at her. She's beautiful. 1273 01:22:54,189 --> 01:22:57,488 - Hello, you. - She's enjoying it. 1274 01:22:57,559 --> 01:22:59,550 Let it go. 1275 01:22:59,629 --> 01:23:02,063 Come on, feel what she's feeling. 1276 01:23:02,130 --> 01:23:04,326 - Come on, let it go. - You want to be with her. Go with it. 1277 01:23:04,397 --> 01:23:06,732 Let it go. 1278 01:23:06,803 --> 01:23:09,862 Let it go this time, Lu. 1279 01:23:16,411 --> 01:23:22,247 [ Techno Music ] 1280 01:23:36,566 --> 01:23:39,728 [ Indistinct Reggae Rap ] 1281 01:23:53,080 --> 01:23:55,549 Ready 1282 01:23:55,617 --> 01:23:57,880 Steady, go 1283 01:23:57,953 --> 01:24:00,683 - Pow, pow, pow, pow pow, pow - [ Beeping ] 1284 01:24:00,755 --> 01:24:03,920 [ Gasps ] 1285 01:24:03,992 --> 01:24:06,358 No! No! No! 1286 01:24:07,830 --> 01:24:10,696 Fuck! No fuckin' way! 1287 01:24:10,767 --> 01:24:13,929 - [ Giggles ] - Oh, for fuck's sake! 1288 01:24:14,002 --> 01:24:17,495 No, no! You're fucking dreaming. It's a fu-- 1289 01:24:21,477 --> 01:24:23,411 Hey, bitch! 1290 01:24:24,981 --> 01:24:29,576 - Wake up, bitch. - [ Yawns ] 1291 01:24:29,652 --> 01:24:34,146 - Come on. - Oh, here he is. Kickin' chicken. 1292 01:24:34,223 --> 01:24:37,022 - So what's the news, baby pop? - [ Laughs ] 1293 01:24:37,093 --> 01:24:41,461 Uh, life's amazing. [ Screaming ] 1294 01:24:41,531 --> 01:24:45,592 [ Screams ] [ Koop Rapping ] "Congratulations... 1295 01:24:45,668 --> 01:24:49,900 ...and celebrations Cool it, tune it cool it, baby... 1296 01:24:49,973 --> 01:24:53,135 ...cool it, babe." - [ Laughs ] 1297 01:24:53,209 --> 01:24:55,905 Hey, welcome back to the world of sex, mate. 1298 01:24:55,978 --> 01:24:58,777 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 1299 01:24:58,848 --> 01:25:03,308 Once more, I am a "fucktioning" human being! One more time! 1300 01:25:03,385 --> 01:25:06,946 Look at him, ladies. Live, ladies and gentlemen, he's a star! 1301 01:25:07,022 --> 01:25:08,956 [ Humming ] Eh, eh, eh. 1302 01:25:09,025 --> 01:25:12,290 What the fuck was I worried about, man? 1303 01:25:12,362 --> 01:25:15,263 I told you, man, didn't I? Overthinking of the stupid little things, mate. 1304 01:25:15,330 --> 01:25:20,393 Mate, mate. Oh! [ Laughs ] 1305 01:25:20,469 --> 01:25:23,961 That's the story of my life, man. It's the story of my life. 1306 01:25:24,040 --> 01:25:27,702 - Oi, oi, oi. - [ Humming ] 1307 01:25:27,777 --> 01:25:30,836 -She, uh-- - What? 1308 01:25:30,914 --> 01:25:33,108 Did she, uh-- 1309 01:25:33,182 --> 01:25:35,878 - What? - You know. 1310 01:25:35,951 --> 01:25:38,010 [ Laughs ] What? 1311 01:25:38,086 --> 01:25:41,385 - What we were talking about the other day, mate? - I'm not answering that one. 1312 01:25:41,456 --> 01:25:45,153 - Go on. - No, no. That's disgusting. No, I'm not telling you that. 1313 01:25:45,228 --> 01:25:49,324 - What? - No. It's a personal thing between two human beings. 1314 01:25:49,398 --> 01:25:52,232 - Fuck off!. - No, forget it. I'm not answering that question. 1315 01:25:52,302 --> 01:25:55,567 Shut up! I'm your mate. 1316 01:25:55,638 --> 01:25:59,335 - Yeah. - [ Laughing ] 1317 01:25:59,409 --> 01:26:02,104 Big time! 1318 01:26:03,211 --> 01:26:07,239 [ Laughs ] Go on with your bad self!. 1319 01:26:07,317 --> 01:26:09,045 - Bitch! - Bitch! 1320 01:26:09,117 --> 01:26:11,085 You dirty bitch! [ Laughs ] 1321 01:26:11,153 --> 01:26:14,123 No, I'm telling you, it has never happened to me like that before. 1322 01:26:14,190 --> 01:26:18,320 I mean, I've had that, you know, sort of release of pleasure, but nothing like this. 1323 01:26:18,393 --> 01:26:22,022 I mean, it just came out of nowhere. I didn't have to concentrate or anything. 1324 01:26:22,098 --> 01:26:26,728 And when it did, fuck me! It was just like-- Ah! 1325 01:26:26,803 --> 01:26:29,567 Ah! Ah! 1326 01:26:29,638 --> 01:26:33,233 - [ Laughing ] - Oh, it's the most amazing feeling. 1327 01:26:33,308 --> 01:26:35,242 Did your eyes go all blurry? 1328 01:26:35,311 --> 01:26:38,336 Blurry? I went fuckin' blind for about 10 minutes! 1329 01:26:38,414 --> 01:26:42,281 And then he started running his finger all over my skin, 1330 01:26:42,352 --> 01:26:45,116 and it went all tingly, and I was shaking all over. 1331 01:26:45,188 --> 01:26:48,919 - Oh, it was fucking lush! - So-- 1332 01:26:48,991 --> 01:26:53,951 [ Pretending Opera ] "How big was his dick?" 1333 01:26:54,030 --> 01:26:55,964 Shut up. I can't tell you that. 1334 01:26:56,031 --> 01:26:59,900 - This big. - [ Laughing ] 1335 01:26:59,969 --> 01:27:02,563 But it fits like bric-a-brac. 1336 01:27:02,638 --> 01:27:05,902 It comes out from the root and then goes off to the side with a little twist. 1337 01:27:05,974 --> 01:27:08,603 - Diversive. - It certainly hit the spot. 1338 01:27:08,678 --> 01:27:11,146 [ Laughing ] 1339 01:27:20,322 --> 01:27:22,951 Another kid dead from taking ecstasy this week. 1340 01:27:24,626 --> 01:27:28,119 Don't know what possesses them to take it in the first place. 1341 01:27:28,196 --> 01:27:31,188 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1342 01:27:31,267 --> 01:27:35,169 The parents must neglect them, and they turn to drugs as an escape. 1343 01:27:35,237 --> 01:27:38,764 No discipline. No morality. 1344 01:27:40,343 --> 01:27:42,937 No respect. 1345 01:27:43,012 --> 01:27:44,946 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1346 01:27:47,183 --> 01:27:49,116 - [ Beeps ] - [ Dialogue Rewinds ] 1347 01:27:49,184 --> 01:27:51,415 I just don't understand the youth of today. 1348 01:27:51,487 --> 01:27:55,116 - [ Beeps, Rewinds ] - I just don't understand the youth of today. 1349 01:27:55,191 --> 01:27:58,125 [ Laughing ] 1350 01:27:58,193 --> 01:28:02,254 Oh, spot on, mate. Spot on. 1351 01:28:02,330 --> 01:28:07,701 - [ Beeps, Rewinds ] - No discipline, no morality, no respect. 1352 01:28:07,769 --> 01:28:10,102 - Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. - [ Beeps, Rewinds ] 1353 01:28:10,173 --> 01:28:13,142 Some children just don't have the correct upbringing. 1354 01:28:13,209 --> 01:28:15,973 - Another kid dead. - Parents must neglect them. - [ Beeps ] 1355 01:28:16,045 --> 01:28:18,308 - I just don't understand the youth of-- - No morality. 1356 01:28:18,380 --> 01:28:21,214 - Drugs as an escape. - No discipline. - Die! 1357 01:28:21,284 --> 01:28:24,378 Yeah! We're just some happy fucking sitcom, ain't we? 1358 01:28:24,454 --> 01:28:28,481 Perfect life, perfect family, perfect fucking dining table. 1359 01:28:28,558 --> 01:28:30,491 Well, give yourself a round of applause. 1360 01:28:30,559 --> 01:28:34,188 Please! I swear, sometimes we're living on different planets... 1361 01:28:34,263 --> 01:28:38,324 because there is no fucking way of communicating with you all. 1362 01:28:38,401 --> 01:28:40,732 Who the fuck are you people anyway, eh? 1363 01:28:40,803 --> 01:28:43,067 Who the fuck are ya? 1364 01:28:50,213 --> 01:28:54,616 So, how was your weekend, Louise? 1365 01:28:54,683 --> 01:28:59,313 - I had a really excellent time, thanks, Auntie Violet. - What did you do? 1366 01:28:59,388 --> 01:29:02,619 Um, we all went to a club on Friday night, 1367 01:29:02,692 --> 01:29:06,719 and then we went to Connie's parents' house for a big party. 1368 01:29:06,795 --> 01:29:11,995 - How did you get there? - Jip drove us. 1369 01:29:12,067 --> 01:29:16,232 - He hadn't been drinking? - No, no. 1370 01:29:16,304 --> 01:29:19,172 No, he hadn't touched a drop. 1371 01:29:19,241 --> 01:29:21,267 And, uh-- [ Clears Throat ] 1372 01:29:21,344 --> 01:29:23,369 How is Jip? 1373 01:29:23,446 --> 01:29:27,405 He's really, really well. Thanks, Auntie Violet. 1374 01:29:29,085 --> 01:29:31,018 [ Chuckles ] 1375 01:29:39,327 --> 01:29:41,693 Tah-dah! 1376 01:29:44,366 --> 01:29:48,235 - Who are they for? - They're for you because you deserve it. 1377 01:29:50,071 --> 01:29:52,199 And much, much more. 1378 01:29:54,376 --> 01:29:56,571 [ Kisses ] Oh, Jip. 1379 01:29:58,880 --> 01:30:01,371 Oh, they're beautiful. You shouldn't have. 1380 01:30:01,450 --> 01:30:04,146 Yeah, I should. 1381 01:30:04,219 --> 01:30:06,153 What's for dinner? 1382 01:30:06,222 --> 01:30:09,089 - Wait and see. - [ Laughs ] 1383 01:30:11,326 --> 01:30:14,990 [ Classical Music ] 1384 01:31:55,149 --> 01:31:57,640 - [ Stops Abruptly ] - Cunt. 1385 01:32:09,131 --> 01:32:14,228 Listen. Listen, youse. Listen. I really need to tell you something. 1386 01:32:14,303 --> 01:32:19,263 - I'm off the drugs big time. - [ Laughing ] - No, I mean it. No. 1387 01:32:19,341 --> 01:32:22,000 I'm really being serious. 1388 01:32:23,066 --> 01:32:28,450 Listen to me. I've had my head up my arse for so long, 1389 01:32:28,455 --> 01:32:31,000 all I can do is think shit. 1390 01:32:31,001 --> 01:32:32,585 - [ Laughing ] - No, listen to me. I-- I'm-- 1391 01:32:32,590 --> 01:32:38,057 Listen. I'm sick of feeling like the advert for a methadone program. 1392 01:32:38,058 --> 01:32:40,674 - I'm-- I'm-- I just, I'm-- - [ Jip ] Don't give me that shit. 1393 01:32:40,675 --> 01:32:43,887 The only reason you're off the drugs, right, is 'cause you fuckin'had 'em all, man. 1394 01:32:43,888 --> 01:32:45,111 [ Laughing ] 1395 01:32:45,316 --> 01:32:48,217 Future generations of fuckin' dopeheads are gonna have to toke your ashes 1396 01:32:48,286 --> 01:32:50,480 just to get high, you know. - [ Laughing ] 1397 01:32:50,857 --> 01:32:52,881 No, no, I'm really being serious,yeah. 1398 01:32:52,959 --> 01:32:56,156 I'm-- I'm-- I'm coming apart at the seams, Jip. 1399 01:32:56,228 --> 01:32:58,459 I'm, uh-- [ Sighs ] 1400 01:32:58,532 --> 01:33:00,500 I'm-- I'm dissolving. That's what happening to me. 1401 01:33:00,567 --> 01:33:03,866 I'm-- I'm-- I'm dissolving. I'm-- I'm-- I'm-- 1402 01:33:03,937 --> 01:33:06,906 What I'm trying to say is, um-- 1403 01:33:06,973 --> 01:33:10,500 Another couple of good pills, and-- and that's it for me. 1404 01:33:10,577 --> 01:33:13,511 It's good night, Vienna. I mean, I really feel I'm gonna, uh-- 1405 01:33:13,580 --> 01:33:17,310 Oh, it sounds like clubber's comedown chorus to me, sweetheart. 1406 01:33:17,384 --> 01:33:20,615 - Yeah,you know it. - It's not like we're gonna be doing this forever. 1407 01:33:20,687 --> 01:33:24,088 I mean, we'll all get bored of it, eventually. 1408 01:33:25,925 --> 01:33:29,725 Hey, when a comedown outweighs the good times, 1409 01:33:29,795 --> 01:33:32,264 you know the party's over, man. 1410 01:33:32,331 --> 01:33:34,800 - Mmm. - I mean, Friday was a classic, yeah. 1411 01:33:34,867 --> 01:33:36,995 - Friday rocked. - Classic. 1412 01:33:37,069 --> 01:33:40,733 But... I've definitely got to take some time out... 1413 01:33:40,807 --> 01:33:43,298 to pick up the pieces, man, and that's that. 1414 01:33:43,376 --> 01:33:46,642 - Yeah, fair enough. -And that's-- That's what I'm saying to ya. 1415 01:33:46,713 --> 01:33:49,580 Um, the honeymoon's over, Koop, it's over. 1416 01:33:49,648 --> 01:33:53,015 Uh, it's not fucking worth it. I-- I'm-- 1417 01:33:53,086 --> 01:33:55,417 That's it for me. I've had me lot. I mean, you know-- 1418 01:33:55,488 --> 01:33:58,184 Youse do what you gotta do, but I'm fuckin', that's it. 1419 01:33:58,258 --> 01:34:00,852 I mean, it's no more drugs for me. That's my lot. That's it. 1420 01:34:08,033 --> 01:34:10,161 Drinks anyone? 1421 01:34:10,237 --> 01:34:12,501 Moff?. 1422 01:34:12,572 --> 01:34:15,166 - I'll have a pint of vodka, mate. Just a little drop of Coke. - [ Laughing ] 1423 01:34:15,242 --> 01:34:17,801 I'll have a bottle of Prozac. Yeah, nice. 1424 01:34:21,148 --> 01:34:24,709 [ Lulu ] I can't believe all this time we've been going off with other people, 1425 01:34:24,785 --> 01:34:28,220 looking for the right person and just not finding them. 1426 01:34:28,287 --> 01:34:30,222 I know. It's weird, isn't it? 1427 01:34:30,290 --> 01:34:32,224 I mean, anything could've happened, do you know what I mean? 1428 01:34:32,291 --> 01:34:34,260 To change the events of last Friday. 1429 01:34:34,327 --> 01:34:37,660 And it'd just be normal now. It'd be just like-- We'd just be friends. 1430 01:34:37,731 --> 01:34:39,858 No! Don't say that! 1431 01:34:39,933 --> 01:34:44,028 I mean, you've always been there, but I've just never thought of you that way. 1432 01:34:44,103 --> 01:34:46,197 And all of a sudden, these past couple of months, 1433 01:34:46,273 --> 01:34:49,902 - it's just been like, "Jip? Hmm." - Mm-hmm. 1434 01:34:51,678 --> 01:34:54,077 God, man, I know exactly when this happened as well. 1435 01:34:54,147 --> 01:34:56,115 - I know exactly when this happened. - When? 1436 01:34:56,183 --> 01:34:58,674 Around your house, right? It was about three weeks ago. 1437 01:34:58,751 --> 01:35:01,414 We're lying on your bed, we're hugging, we're coming down. 1438 01:35:01,487 --> 01:35:04,013 - Remember? - Oh, yeah! Coming down! Absolutely. 1439 01:35:04,090 --> 01:35:06,456 - We were just keeping it legal. - Barely. 1440 01:35:06,526 --> 01:35:11,394 - Yeah, barely. - Life is full of fucking surprises, man. 1441 01:35:11,465 --> 01:35:13,956 I mean, like, a minute ago, I was thinking, 1442 01:35:14,033 --> 01:35:16,729 "Fuckin' hell! I'm never gonna have sex again for the rest of my life." 1443 01:35:16,803 --> 01:35:19,271 And now I'm thinking, "I'm having the best sex I've ever had... 1444 01:35:19,339 --> 01:35:22,273 with somebody I've loved for years," you know what I mean? 1445 01:35:22,341 --> 01:35:25,139 And, darling, it's only going to get better. 1446 01:35:25,211 --> 01:35:27,942 - Now kiss me. - Darling, 1447 01:35:28,014 --> 01:35:32,678 - I'm going to fuck your brains out. - [ Laughs ] 1448 01:35:53,607 --> 01:35:57,304 [ Jip Narrating ] Well, that's almost it from me and my friends. 1449 01:35:57,376 --> 01:35:59,310 Back to mundane Monday. 1450 01:35:59,379 --> 01:36:03,439 I guess my point is, I think we're all fucked up in our own way, you know? 1451 01:36:03,517 --> 01:36:05,451 But we're all doing it together. 1452 01:36:05,519 --> 01:36:07,452 We're freestyling on the buckled wheel of life, 1453 01:36:07,521 --> 01:36:09,955 trapped in a world of internal dialogue. 1454 01:36:10,023 --> 01:36:14,220 Like Bill Hicks said, "It's an insane world, 1455 01:36:14,294 --> 01:36:16,228 but I'm proud to be part of it." 1456 01:36:16,295 --> 01:36:20,062 [ Music Playing] ... All 1457 01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:25,838 Together as one 1458 01:36:25,906 --> 01:36:30,274 All 1459 01:36:30,343 --> 01:36:35,974 Together as one 1460 01:36:36,049 --> 01:36:40,486 All 1461 01:36:40,554 --> 01:36:46,389 Together as one 1462 01:36:46,459 --> 01:36:50,792 All 1463 01:36:50,863 --> 01:36:56,563 Together as one 1464 01:36:56,635 --> 01:37:00,197 - [ Man ] This is a beautiful day. - All 1465 01:37:00,273 --> 01:37:06,906 - It is a new day. - Together as one 1466 01:37:06,979 --> 01:37:11,313 - All - This is a beautiful day. 1467 01:37:11,384 --> 01:37:16,151 - Together as one - It is a new day. 1468 01:37:16,222 --> 01:37:21,488 - We are together. - All 1469 01:37:21,560 --> 01:37:24,530 - We are together. - Together as one 1470 01:37:24,598 --> 01:37:27,725 We are unified, we are together. 1471 01:37:27,800 --> 01:37:31,737 All 1472 01:37:31,804 --> 01:37:37,242 Together as one 1473 01:37:37,309 --> 01:37:40,473 - 'Cause together, we've got the power. - All 1474 01:37:40,546 --> 01:37:47,510 - Apart, we've got to powwow. - Together as one 1475 01:37:47,586 --> 01:37:52,148 - We are together. - All 1476 01:37:52,224 --> 01:37:57,754 Together as one 1477 01:37:57,831 --> 01:38:01,858 [ Jungle Music: C. J. Bolland ‒ It Ain't Gonna Be ] 1478 01:38:01,934 --> 01:38:03,993 It ain't gonna be me 1479 01:38:16,116 --> 01:38:18,107 It ain't gonna be me 1480 01:38:44,644 --> 01:38:46,635 It ain't gonna be me