1 00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:03,166 Hey, Lindsay, how'd you like 2 00:00:03,339 --> 00:00:05,633 to go buy some new clothes at the mall? 3 00:00:05,841 --> 00:00:08,343 Those old jeans are looking pretty ragged. 4 00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:10,136 No, thanks, mom. I like my jeans. 5 00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:12,347 Dad's the one who could use some pants. 6 00:00:12,348 --> 00:00:13,598 Who am I trying to impress? 7 00:00:13,599 --> 00:00:14,724 When it's your house, 8 00:00:14,725 --> 00:00:16,310 you can wear a tuxedo to breakfast. 9 00:00:16,519 --> 00:00:18,812 Honey, I called Mrs. Amendella. 10 00:00:19,021 --> 00:00:20,221 She's gonna stay with you kids 11 00:00:20,397 --> 00:00:22,524 while daddy and I are in Chicago. 12 00:00:22,525 --> 00:00:24,609 Mom, no. We don't need a baby-sitter. 13 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:25,945 I can take care of Sam. 14 00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:27,862 I can take care of myself. 15 00:00:27,863 --> 00:00:29,614 Oh, yeah, that's a great idea. 16 00:00:29,615 --> 00:00:32,534 I can just see you guys eating candy for breakfast 17 00:00:32,535 --> 00:00:34,536 and drawing pictures on the walls. 18 00:00:34,537 --> 00:00:37,413 How old do you think we are, dad? 19 00:00:37,414 --> 00:00:40,333 I've been baby-sitting for the kellers for two years already. 20 00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:41,794 Yeah, but that's for their kids. 21 00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:43,504 Well, I don't know. 22 00:00:43,671 --> 00:00:46,215 Maybe they are a little old for a baby-sitter. 23 00:00:46,423 --> 00:00:48,384 Maybe they're ready, honey. 24 00:00:49,802 --> 00:00:51,095 Well, fine. 25 00:00:51,303 --> 00:00:54,473 Mrs. Amendella makes the house smell like an old lady anyway. 26 00:00:54,682 --> 00:00:55,307 [Laughs] 27 00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:57,141 I hear Peter lemengello 28 00:00:57,142 --> 00:00:58,643 is playing the closing night gala. 29 00:00:58,644 --> 00:01:00,603 Mm, Paul anka. 30 00:01:00,604 --> 00:01:03,816 Ooh, Paul anka. Can I come? 31 00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:05,624 Yeah, I guess you'd prefer if we'd listen 32 00:01:05,693 --> 00:01:07,653 to that punk rock music I've been reading about. 33 00:01:07,861 --> 00:01:11,406 You know those sex pistols? They spit on their audience. 34 00:01:11,407 --> 00:01:13,032 Ah, that's terrible. 35 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,576 Yep, that's what I want to do. 36 00:01:14,577 --> 00:01:16,828 Spend my hard-earned money to be spit on. 37 00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:18,288 Now that's entertainment. 38 00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:19,706 Oh, come on, dad. 39 00:01:19,707 --> 00:01:21,374 Every generation is afraid of the music 40 00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:23,293 that comes from the next. 41 00:01:23,294 --> 00:01:26,296 Well, I'm sure your parents hated Elvis. 42 00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:28,798 Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans. 43 00:01:28,799 --> 00:01:30,466 No, but he died on the toilet. 44 00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:32,552 Well, that's paradise compared 45 00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:34,638 to where those sex pistols are gonna end up. 46 00:01:37,182 --> 00:01:40,853 J“ [singing] I don't give a damn about my reputation 47 00:01:41,937 --> 00:01:46,274 j“ living in the past, it's a new generation 48 00:01:46,275 --> 00:01:48,694 j“ a girl can do what she wants to do 49 00:01:48,902 --> 00:01:51,113 j“ and that's what I'm gonna do 50 00:01:51,322 --> 00:01:54,199 I and I don't give a damn about my bad reputation 51 00:01:55,743 --> 00:01:58,203 I oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no 52 00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:00,039 I not me, me, me, me, me 53 00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:02,416 j“ whah, no, no, no no, no, no, no 54 00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:05,794 I not me, me, me me, me, me, me, me 55 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:08,422 j“ I don't give a damn about my reputation 56 00:02:10,215 --> 00:02:13,218 I I've never been afraid of any deviation 57 00:02:14,762 --> 00:02:17,055 I and I don't really care if you think I'm strange 58 00:02:17,056 --> 00:02:19,183 j“ I ain't gonna change 59 00:02:19,391 --> 00:02:22,227 I and I'm never gonna care about my bad reputation 60 00:02:23,187 --> 00:02:24,396 I not me 61 00:02:47,294 --> 00:02:48,294 Hey, Lindsay. 62 00:02:52,174 --> 00:02:53,258 Hey, Nick. 63 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:56,303 Oh, hey. What's up? 64 00:02:56,512 --> 00:02:57,763 What's the matter? 65 00:02:57,971 --> 00:03:01,016 Um, John bonham died, you know. 66 00:03:01,225 --> 00:03:03,686 Yeah, I know. Last week. 67 00:03:05,396 --> 00:03:08,524 He's dead. You know, it's like, he's dead. 68 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:12,861 And as a result there's no more led zeppelin. 69 00:03:13,987 --> 00:03:15,948 Well, why don't they just get a new drummer? 70 00:03:16,156 --> 00:03:17,741 What, are you...? 71 00:03:20,536 --> 00:03:22,162 Let's just forget it. 72 00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:28,836 No. What you got to do is look for something in the store 73 00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:30,796 that's expensive but looks really cheap. 74 00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:32,107 And then you switch price tags 75 00:03:32,131 --> 00:03:33,840 with something that is really cheap. 76 00:03:33,841 --> 00:03:35,717 Then you gotta put the original back on it 77 00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,094 and return it for store credit. 78 00:03:37,302 --> 00:03:38,554 That's how I got this jacket. 79 00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:41,181 Ten bucks this thing cost me. 80 00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:45,269 Oh, it's beautiful. Clearly worth all the effort. 81 00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:46,686 [Scoffs] 82 00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:48,063 My dad caught a shoplifter once. 83 00:03:48,272 --> 00:03:51,567 And he had to lock him in the store, and then the cops came. 84 00:03:54,778 --> 00:03:57,656 Well, my dad says shoplifters cost him a fortune. 85 00:03:58,031 --> 00:03:59,783 Hey, if I owned your store, 86 00:03:59,992 --> 00:04:02,326 I caught some little kid shoplifting, 87 00:04:02,327 --> 00:04:05,288 I'd just take him out back, 88 00:04:05,289 --> 00:04:07,165 and I'd deal with it. 89 00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:09,084 Oh, would you, Mr. Tough man? 90 00:04:09,668 --> 00:04:11,628 Yeah, I would, Mrs. Tough man. 91 00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:14,631 Oh, like that time when John ergner kicked your ass? 92 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:15,841 Like... like that? 93 00:04:16,008 --> 00:04:18,051 Do you mind flapping your lips somewhere else? 94 00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,303 You smell. 95 00:04:19,511 --> 00:04:21,311 Hey, what, did you guys break up or something? 96 00:04:21,472 --> 00:04:24,015 No, we didn't break up. 97 00:04:24,016 --> 00:04:26,142 I dumped his loser ass. 98 00:04:26,143 --> 00:04:28,395 Oh, is that what happened? 99 00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:32,274 Okay, if it makes you feel better. 100 00:04:33,192 --> 00:04:35,235 Do you guys wanna hey, does anybody want 101 00:04:35,444 --> 00:04:37,488 to come see “the wall" with me on Saturday night? 102 00:04:37,654 --> 00:04:39,364 Thought I might try an experiment, 103 00:04:39,573 --> 00:04:41,408 see it straight once. I don't know. 104 00:04:41,617 --> 00:04:44,578 Don't do it. You'll regret it, man. 105 00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:46,246 Trust me. 106 00:04:46,830 --> 00:04:49,082 Well, I would, but my parents are going out of town, 107 00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,251 and I have to watch my little brother. 108 00:04:52,669 --> 00:04:55,631 Uh, maybe we could all hang out at your house. 109 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:57,424 Kegger. 110 00:04:57,591 --> 00:05:00,885 Keggen [fakes cough] kegger. 111 00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:03,430 - [Laughs] - You mean like a party? 112 00:05:03,722 --> 00:05:05,057 Yeah, right. 113 00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:07,392 Lindsay's too lame to let anyone enter 114 00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:09,186 her precious little house. 115 00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:18,236 Sure. Why not? 116 00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:19,487 [Laughs] 117 00:05:19,488 --> 00:05:20,613 I like parties. 118 00:05:20,614 --> 00:05:24,951 Great. Who's the too-lame one? 119 00:05:24,952 --> 00:05:27,412 [Scoffs] Up yours. 120 00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:30,748 Bye. 121 00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:33,752 Okay, guys, ten bucks each for the keg. 122 00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:36,463 Come on. You too. 123 00:05:36,672 --> 00:05:38,423 No, Lindsay, Lindsay, please. 124 00:05:38,632 --> 00:05:39,800 House drinks free. 125 00:05:44,179 --> 00:05:46,305 Why does she hang out with those guys? 126 00:05:46,306 --> 00:05:47,390 I don't know. 127 00:05:47,391 --> 00:05:49,101 Why don't you go over there and ask her? 128 00:05:50,018 --> 00:05:51,727 They're gonna ruin her life. 129 00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:53,145 If you don't care about high school, 130 00:05:53,146 --> 00:05:54,772 then you won't get into a good college, 131 00:05:54,773 --> 00:05:56,148 then you'll have no future, 132 00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:58,277 and you'll wind up dead or in jail. 133 00:05:58,652 --> 00:05:59,987 Really? 134 00:06:00,195 --> 00:06:02,823 Were you asleep during “scared straight"? 135 00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:06,535 You're in love with Lindsay. 136 00:06:06,785 --> 00:06:10,289 Ugh, I am not. What are you talking about? 137 00:06:10,497 --> 00:06:11,623 Why are you getting so mad? 138 00:06:11,832 --> 00:06:14,667 I'm not! Why would you say that? 139 00:06:14,668 --> 00:06:16,502 Because you have your book in front of your pants. 140 00:06:16,503 --> 00:06:19,338 Oh, shut up. Jerk. 141 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:22,049 I'm not in love with her. I just care about her 142 00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:24,552 because she's my good friend's sister. 143 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:27,513 Maybe you should ask yourself why you don't care. 144 00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:30,225 I ca... come on, you know I care. 145 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,566 Hey, Sam, I'm having a keg party tomorrow night. 146 00:06:37,941 --> 00:06:38,941 You are? 147 00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:40,736 Yeah, so you can't tell mom and dad. 148 00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:45,281 What if your friends trash our house? 149 00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:46,741 My friends aren't gonna trash the house. 150 00:06:46,742 --> 00:06:47,742 I'll have plenty of time 151 00:06:47,743 --> 00:06:49,327 to clean up before mom and dad get back. 152 00:06:49,328 --> 00:06:51,038 Mm, what if dad finds out? 153 00:06:51,246 --> 00:06:53,748 Well, that's my problem. Don't worry about it. 154 00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:55,374 No, no, it's not, 155 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:56,417 because dad will yell at me 156 00:06:56,418 --> 00:06:57,585 for not telling on you. 157 00:06:57,586 --> 00:06:59,254 Are you gonna tell on me? 158 00:07:02,257 --> 00:07:04,258 I guess not. 159 00:07:04,259 --> 00:07:07,054 Thanks, Sam. See you later. 160 00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,684 Give me your keys, man. You're drunk. 161 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:16,062 I'm not drunk. Get out of my way. I'm fine. 162 00:07:16,063 --> 00:07:18,522 No, you're not, and I'm not going to drive with you. 163 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,650 I don't care. 164 00:07:20,651 --> 00:07:22,151 If you try to drive like that, 165 00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:23,612 I'm gonna call the police. 166 00:07:23,987 --> 00:07:26,031 I thought you were my friend. 167 00:07:26,239 --> 00:07:28,575 He is your friend, Daisy. 168 00:07:29,201 --> 00:07:30,576 Who are you? 169 00:07:30,577 --> 00:07:32,286 I'm the designated driver. 170 00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,456 I made a pledge not to drink at this party 171 00:07:34,665 --> 00:07:37,376 so I can help people like you get home safely. 172 00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:39,544 That's cool. 173 00:07:39,753 --> 00:07:41,587 - Wow. - I should have done that. 174 00:07:41,588 --> 00:07:43,923 That designated driver's pretty hot. 175 00:07:43,924 --> 00:07:46,218 Like to get her drunk. 176 00:07:46,593 --> 00:07:48,345 If you drive right now, 177 00:07:48,553 --> 00:07:50,430 you're not only a danger to yourself, 178 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:53,433 but you're a danger to everyone else on the road. 179 00:07:53,642 --> 00:07:55,811 You're like a loaded gun. 180 00:07:57,145 --> 00:07:59,398 [Crying] I didn't want to hurt anyone. 181 00:07:59,606 --> 00:08:01,525 - [Laughs] - We know that. 182 00:08:01,733 --> 00:08:03,819 What do you say? Will you give me your keys? 183 00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,447 And freeze! 184 00:08:07,656 --> 00:08:10,658 Let's hear it for the sober students improv players. 185 00:08:10,659 --> 00:08:13,412 [Applause] 186 00:08:14,871 --> 00:08:18,541 That was a good example of how to prevent a tragedy. 187 00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:20,626 But there's an even better way to save lives, 188 00:08:20,627 --> 00:08:21,961 and that's not to drink... 189 00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:23,546 - Ken's got the right idea. - Or do drugs 190 00:08:23,547 --> 00:08:24,547 in the first place. 191 00:08:24,673 --> 00:08:27,174 And, hey, just 'cause your parents 192 00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:30,261 or other adults drink doesn't mean you have to. 193 00:08:30,262 --> 00:08:31,887 Now, I know what you're thinking: 194 00:08:31,888 --> 00:08:36,017 “Mr. Rosso, you don't understand. 195 00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:38,979 If I don't drink, I won't be cool." 196 00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:41,273 Well, you know what I say to that? 197 00:08:41,648 --> 00:08:46,069 Maybe if you don't drink, you will be cool. 198 00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:49,072 And right now our thespians, 199 00:08:49,281 --> 00:08:51,366 Millie, Cindy, and Harris, 200 00:08:51,575 --> 00:08:55,412 will show you how you can stay sober and still be cool. 201 00:08:55,829 --> 00:08:57,247 Okay, what I need from you people 202 00:08:57,456 --> 00:09:00,374 is a kind of party where drinking might occur. 203 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:01,751 A kind of party. 204 00:09:01,752 --> 00:09:02,960 A sex party. 205 00:09:02,961 --> 00:09:04,420 [Laughter] 206 00:09:04,421 --> 00:09:08,132 All right, I think I heard someone say “birthday party." 207 00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:13,388 Um, okay, you're at a birthday party and... go. 208 00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:17,016 Hey, Mary. Happy birthday. 209 00:09:17,017 --> 00:09:19,935 Oh, thank you, Bob. 210 00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:21,145 How's it going? 211 00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:24,398 Good. You did a really nice job decorating here. 212 00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:26,817 You know if anyone here has any cocaine? 213 00:09:26,818 --> 00:09:28,527 [Laughter] 214 00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:31,530 No. Coke does damage to your brain. 215 00:09:31,531 --> 00:09:34,533 I think I can have coke whenever I want, 216 00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:38,120 but I can only watch you open your presents now. 217 00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:42,584 Oh, thank you, Bob. That's very sweet. 218 00:09:42,793 --> 00:09:44,252 I knew you'd make the right decision. 219 00:09:44,461 --> 00:09:46,129 You wanna get out of here? 220 00:09:47,214 --> 00:09:48,423 Sure. 221 00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:54,887 Okay. I'm gonna go. Count to ten and then come. 222 00:09:54,888 --> 00:09:57,264 This is the best birthday ever. 223 00:09:57,265 --> 00:09:58,892 Okay, let's have cake. 224 00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:02,979 Okay. Come on. Let's go get a glass of pop. 225 00:10:03,522 --> 00:10:05,731 I hope they have orange. 226 00:10:05,732 --> 00:10:08,692 Hey, it's a party, isn't it? 227 00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:11,320 And freeze. 228 00:10:11,321 --> 00:10:14,240 As you can see, nothing is more contagious 229 00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:16,575 than good judgment. 230 00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:19,538 Thanks, gang. Jimmy, lights. 231 00:10:22,624 --> 00:10:25,919 But if you still think drinking is cool, 232 00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:32,133 why not ask Jenny Powell if drinking is cool? 233 00:10:32,134 --> 00:10:33,677 Well, you can't ask her. 234 00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,221 She crashed into a phone pole this winter 235 00:10:36,429 --> 00:10:39,307 driving drunk after a new year's party. 236 00:10:41,518 --> 00:10:44,271 And you can't ask John yablonski either. 237 00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,775 He died from alcohol poisoning at a fraternity party. 238 00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:50,860 I love being told not to drink 239 00:10:50,861 --> 00:10:52,904 by a pothead hippie guidance counselor. 240 00:10:53,155 --> 00:10:55,657 There's probably a bar in the teacher's lounge. 241 00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:57,658 Yeah, probably. 242 00:10:57,659 --> 00:10:59,952 - Hey, stroker. - Hey. 243 00:10:59,953 --> 00:11:01,162 Ten bucks for the keg. 244 00:11:01,163 --> 00:11:03,290 - I know. - Don't weasel out on me. 245 00:11:03,498 --> 00:11:05,625 I'll cut that hair off, and I'll sell it. 246 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,420 Oh, hey, um, I hope you don't mind. 247 00:11:09,421 --> 00:11:12,090 I invited my cousin and a couple of his friends to the party. 248 00:11:12,299 --> 00:11:15,218 Oh, that's cool. What grade are they in? 249 00:11:15,802 --> 00:11:18,471 No grade. They're older. 250 00:11:19,306 --> 00:11:22,517 Oh. Cool. 251 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:25,227 Right on. 252 00:11:25,228 --> 00:11:28,272 [Sighs] We got to do something about your sister's party. 253 00:11:28,273 --> 00:11:30,150 What's the big deal? It's just beer. 254 00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:32,402 Yeah, beer at a freak party? 255 00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:34,738 My cousin's friend was at a freak party once, 256 00:11:34,946 --> 00:11:36,656 and someone put angel dust in her drink. 257 00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:38,241 Oh, man. 258 00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:42,454 We gotta go. To protect Lindsay. 259 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:46,374 Oh, I can't. Um, yeah, “Dallas" is on. 260 00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:48,710 What? Bill, “Dallas" sucks. 261 00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:51,170 You suck. “Dallas" rules. 262 00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:52,796 Okay, so you're just gonna let Lindsay end up 263 00:11:52,797 --> 00:11:54,633 like one of those pictures. 264 00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:58,553 Fine, I'll go. But I'm watching “Dallas" there. 265 00:11:59,221 --> 00:12:01,056 [Laughter] 266 00:12:01,264 --> 00:12:04,976 I was just joking. I don't... I don't watch “Dallas." 267 00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:10,361 If the hot water heater makes that funny noise, 268 00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:11,775 call the gas company. 269 00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,401 I don't want to come home to a couple of dead kids. 270 00:12:14,402 --> 00:12:16,112 There's 50 bucks on the dining room table. 271 00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:17,072 That should be enough. 272 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,572 Lindsay, you're in charge of it. 273 00:12:18,573 --> 00:12:19,532 Okay. 274 00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:20,927 It's not for those “star wars" cards 275 00:12:20,951 --> 00:12:22,201 or those goofy packs. 276 00:12:22,202 --> 00:12:23,078 Wacky packs. 277 00:12:23,079 --> 00:12:24,199 Ah, whatever. Don't blow it. 278 00:12:24,371 --> 00:12:26,289 Hey, Lindsay, come here, sweetie. 279 00:12:26,498 --> 00:12:27,499 Yeah? 280 00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:30,585 Okay, now, this is dinner for Friday night. 281 00:12:30,877 --> 00:12:33,296 This is lunch and dinner for Saturday. 282 00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:34,839 If you need anything else, 283 00:12:35,006 --> 00:12:38,050 daddy left $50 on the dining room table, okay? 284 00:12:38,051 --> 00:12:39,426 - Okay. - Okay, let's go. 285 00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,303 I want to get there before the welcome mixer. 286 00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:43,264 All right, and turn out the lights when you go out. 287 00:12:43,265 --> 00:12:45,016 I'm not made of money. 288 00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:49,437 What is it? 289 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,778 Have a good trip. 290 00:12:58,947 --> 00:13:01,657 We'll be back Sunday night. Don't do anything stupid. 291 00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,910 [Chuckles] Love you. Bye bye. Have fun, guys. 292 00:13:04,911 --> 00:13:07,080 - Both: Bye. - Love you. 293 00:13:11,584 --> 00:13:13,294 [Car departs] 294 00:13:13,295 --> 00:13:15,338 All right. 295 00:13:19,551 --> 00:13:22,136 Um, at assembly today, 296 00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:25,681 they did these improvisations about drinking and driving. 297 00:13:25,682 --> 00:13:26,891 It's pretty funny. 298 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,269 Yeah, I saw. That's why I left. 299 00:13:30,645 --> 00:13:32,105 Well, at assembly today, 300 00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:34,273 they showed these pictures of these kids 301 00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:37,027 who died in drunk driving accidents. 302 00:13:37,485 --> 00:13:39,571 - Did you know any of them? - No. 303 00:13:41,156 --> 00:13:43,533 Well, one of their moms talked. 304 00:13:43,742 --> 00:13:45,785 She was pretty sad. 305 00:13:45,994 --> 00:13:47,912 It kind of freaked everybody out. 306 00:13:48,663 --> 00:13:50,497 Oh, and at assembly today, 307 00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,916 they said that, if you drink too much in one night, 308 00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:54,461 you can die of alcohol poisoning. 309 00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:56,379 Sam, you sound like dad. 310 00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,466 I just don't know why you have to have beer 311 00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:01,718 at your party, that's all. 312 00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:03,344 I mean, you've never had beer 313 00:14:03,345 --> 00:14:05,387 at any of your other parties, and they were fun. 314 00:14:05,388 --> 00:14:06,680 Well, those were birthday parties, Sam. 315 00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:08,516 We went bowling. 316 00:14:09,768 --> 00:14:12,103 Yeah, well, remember the party where you had a magician? 317 00:14:12,312 --> 00:14:14,731 That was fun. Why don't you have a magician? 318 00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:18,109 We are not having a magi - why am I talking to you? 319 00:14:18,318 --> 00:14:20,653 I'm in charge. Leave me alone. 320 00:14:21,154 --> 00:14:22,947 Leave me alone. 321 00:14:24,199 --> 00:14:27,160 If "f" is a differentiable function of "x" 322 00:14:27,327 --> 00:14:29,996 and "c" is a real number, thenlll 323 00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:36,752 - [softly] Party. - Party. 324 00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:39,047 [Knock at door] 325 00:14:40,048 --> 00:14:41,216 Can I help you, miss? 326 00:14:41,424 --> 00:14:43,468 Yeah, there's, um, an emergency phone call 327 00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:45,052 for Lindsay Weir. 328 00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:46,512 It's her mom. 329 00:14:46,513 --> 00:14:49,557 Oh, okay. Lindsay. Go ahead. 330 00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:52,685 Come on, let's go. 331 00:14:54,729 --> 00:14:57,565 Okay, people, back on me. Come on. The show's over. 332 00:14:59,526 --> 00:15:00,568 Did they say what's wrong? 333 00:15:00,777 --> 00:15:02,445 They didn't tell me anything. 334 00:15:03,863 --> 00:15:04,656 Hey, Lindsay. 335 00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,950 Not now, there's some emergency with my parents. 336 00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:09,868 No, no, Lindsay. Lindsay, no, no, no. 337 00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:11,663 I know. They want... They want you 338 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:13,623 to come with them to buy a keg. 339 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,126 - What? - Hey, thanks a lot, Sara. 340 00:15:16,334 --> 00:15:17,853 No problem. See you at the party tonight. 341 00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:19,546 All right. That's a cute necklace. 342 00:15:20,171 --> 00:15:22,173 Um, we're cutting. 343 00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:25,009 Daniel is paying his brother 20 bucks, 344 00:15:25,176 --> 00:15:26,970 and he's gonna buy us a keg. 345 00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:29,222 Everybody's waiting down at the car, so... 346 00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:32,016 Are you okay? 347 00:15:32,225 --> 00:15:35,477 Yeah, I... I just... 348 00:15:35,478 --> 00:15:38,064 Well, it's that whole emergency phone call thing. 349 00:15:38,273 --> 00:15:40,024 [Chuckles] 350 00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:43,403 Let's go get some beer. 351 00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:51,953 Okay, I got it. 352 00:15:53,163 --> 00:15:54,403 Maybe you can call your parents 353 00:15:54,581 --> 00:15:56,540 and tell them you fell and hit your head 354 00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:59,168 and have them come home before the party. 355 00:15:59,169 --> 00:16:01,086 Then what happens when they come home 356 00:16:01,087 --> 00:16:02,713 and see my head is fine? 357 00:16:02,714 --> 00:16:04,423 Well, we'd have to hit you over the head 358 00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,133 and give you a bump. 359 00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:08,344 Ooh, like in that dirty Harry movie 360 00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:10,111 where the bad guy yells at this black guy 361 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:11,805 so he will beat him up, 362 00:16:11,806 --> 00:16:13,599 then he blames it on Clint. 363 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,436 “It was Callahan!" 364 00:16:16,644 --> 00:16:19,564 No chance. I'm not gonna let you guys hit me. 365 00:16:20,273 --> 00:16:23,609 Hey, guys. Whenever my uncle visits, 366 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:25,528 my mom gives him non-alcoholic beer 367 00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:28,406 so he doesn't get all drunk and yell at everyone. 368 00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:29,865 What's non-alcoholic beer? 369 00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:31,533 It's just like beer, but it doesn't have 370 00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,535 that ingredient that makes you drunk. 371 00:16:33,536 --> 00:16:35,496 Alcohol? 372 00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:42,169 That's a great idea. 373 00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,421 But we're gonna have to buy a whole keg of it. 374 00:16:44,422 --> 00:16:46,423 That's gonna be expensive. 375 00:16:46,424 --> 00:16:47,633 I don't have any money. 376 00:16:47,634 --> 00:16:49,093 I don't either. 377 00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:51,554 Yes, you do. 378 00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:55,350 - Oh, no... no way. - Why not? 379 00:16:55,558 --> 00:16:56,809 [Sighs] 380 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,728 It's my bar mitzvah money. 381 00:16:59,896 --> 00:17:02,397 I'm saving that to go backpacking across Europe. 382 00:17:02,398 --> 00:17:04,566 Oh, come on, this is important. 383 00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,069 Every time you guys have a problem, 384 00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:08,070 you want to dip into my bar mitzvah money. 385 00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:09,822 It's not like I get to have another one. 386 00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:14,202 - Come on. - For Lindsay? 387 00:17:16,829 --> 00:17:18,164 Fine. 388 00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:21,960 Mazel tov. 389 00:17:22,168 --> 00:17:24,212 Oh, shut up. 390 00:17:26,798 --> 00:17:29,384 What if somebody robs this place while we're in here? 391 00:17:29,592 --> 00:17:32,678 People are always getting shot in liquor stores. 392 00:17:32,679 --> 00:17:34,721 Do you think they sell yoo hoo here? 393 00:17:34,722 --> 00:17:36,056 I'm kinda thirsty. 394 00:17:36,057 --> 00:17:37,766 Yeah, bill, why don't you ask the guy? 395 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,518 Maybe he can change your diaper too. 396 00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:41,396 Hey, that was unnecessary. 397 00:17:44,649 --> 00:17:46,650 We're out of pop rocks. 398 00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:50,238 Uh, a keg of beer, please. 399 00:17:50,488 --> 00:17:52,115 Don't see that happening. 400 00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:54,909 Uh, no, we'd like non-alcoholic beer. 401 00:17:55,368 --> 00:17:57,787 Oh, really? No. 402 00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:01,207 Please? We really need it. 403 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,543 What for? 404 00:18:04,961 --> 00:18:07,964 Oh, we're gonna switch the kegs at his sister's party. 405 00:18:12,802 --> 00:18:15,263 [Laughs] Righteous. 406 00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:21,184 Bill, put your jacket on it 407 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,271 so, if someone drives by, they don't see it. 408 00:18:24,272 --> 00:18:25,940 I hope we don't get caught. 409 00:18:26,149 --> 00:18:27,942 Then hurry up! 410 00:18:28,568 --> 00:18:30,194 Bill, push! 411 00:18:30,361 --> 00:18:33,239 1-I am! I am! 412 00:18:49,714 --> 00:18:52,175 She's in there. How are we gonna do this? 413 00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:55,177 I'll distract her while you and bill switch the kegs. 414 00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:57,847 I'm tired of carrying this stupid keg. 415 00:18:58,014 --> 00:18:59,556 Why don't you let me distract her? 416 00:18:59,557 --> 00:19:01,141 I'm distracting her. 417 00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:02,685 Come on. Hurry up. 418 00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:04,270 I'm going in. 419 00:19:12,403 --> 00:19:13,403 Hey, Lindsay. 420 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,240 What are you doing here? 421 00:19:17,367 --> 00:19:20,453 Sam, bill, and I are just hanging out. 422 00:19:22,622 --> 00:19:24,540 Oh, please, allow me. 423 00:19:32,423 --> 00:19:33,758 Thanks. 424 00:19:35,593 --> 00:19:36,636 Come on, push. 425 00:19:36,803 --> 00:19:39,931 I am pushing. It's heavy. 426 00:19:40,223 --> 00:19:42,350 Careful. My foot! 427 00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:45,269 Hey, it's your foot. You can watch it too, you know. 428 00:19:45,478 --> 00:19:48,939 So, uh, what kind of music are you gonna play tonight? 429 00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:50,524 You should play some Chicago. 430 00:19:50,525 --> 00:19:52,902 They've got a really hot horn section. 431 00:19:53,152 --> 00:19:54,821 Ha, I don't know. 432 00:19:55,196 --> 00:19:58,490 I think I'm gonna play some zeppelin, foghat, 433 00:19:58,491 --> 00:20:01,077 hmm, maybe some sabbath. 434 00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:04,914 Friday night, always a good night for some sabbath. 435 00:20:06,207 --> 00:20:10,586 'Cause, you know, Friday is the sabbath... 436 00:20:11,337 --> 00:20:13,172 For the Jews. 437 00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:21,096 Do you think Neal's okay in there? 438 00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:22,556 He's having a terrific time. 439 00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:23,557 Why? 440 00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:25,893 - He's in love with your sister. - What? 441 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,812 Hey, Sam, what was that? 442 00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:32,316 Uh, nothing. Bill fell. 443 00:20:36,571 --> 00:20:38,411 Hey, don't you want to go play with those guys? 444 00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:42,952 No. I like talking to you. 445 00:20:47,582 --> 00:20:50,041 If Neal marries your sister, 446 00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,252 then he'd be your brother-in-law. 447 00:20:52,253 --> 00:20:54,713 Then... then, if you had kids, 448 00:20:54,714 --> 00:20:57,674 uh, Neal would be their uncle Neal. 449 00:20:57,675 --> 00:21:00,553 And then I bet Lindsay's kids would look like Neal. 450 00:21:00,762 --> 00:21:03,055 Bill, shut up. He doesn't love Lindsay. 451 00:21:05,391 --> 00:21:09,394 That... that's not what he told me. 452 00:21:09,395 --> 00:21:11,730 [Bang] 453 00:21:11,731 --> 00:21:13,356 I think bill's got an ear infection. 454 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,817 It's messing with his equilibrium. 455 00:21:15,818 --> 00:21:19,029 [Clears throat] I think you need more m&ms. 456 00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:20,697 Well, I don't have any more m&ms. 457 00:21:20,698 --> 00:21:22,575 No, no, no, no, I saw some right over there. 458 00:21:24,577 --> 00:21:25,577 Oh, no. 459 00:21:25,578 --> 00:21:27,829 No, we don't have any more m&ms. 460 00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:28,998 Now get out of my way. 461 00:21:29,207 --> 00:21:30,666 What are you guys do...? 462 00:21:33,503 --> 00:21:35,254 Uh, oh, hi. Oh. It's... 463 00:21:37,507 --> 00:21:39,008 No, bill, it's okay. 464 00:21:39,217 --> 00:21:42,094 Uh, Neal told me about your... your... 465 00:21:43,054 --> 00:21:47,934 Well, help him, Sam. Give him something to wear. 466 00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:55,399 [Doorbell rings] 467 00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:03,449 - Hey. 468 00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:05,326 - Hey. - Hey. 469 00:22:05,535 --> 00:22:06,536 Come in. 470 00:22:14,627 --> 00:22:17,587 So, what do you think? 471 00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:21,675 What do you think we are, hippies? 472 00:22:21,676 --> 00:22:24,594 Shut up, man. I think it looks great. 473 00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:25,638 Looks great. 474 00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:30,685 Wow. Like that unicorn. 475 00:22:31,227 --> 00:22:33,646 Well, my house is so boring looking. 476 00:22:33,855 --> 00:22:36,399 So I just wanted to make it look more party-like. 477 00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:39,527 Well, I'll tell you how to make it look more party-like. 478 00:22:39,986 --> 00:22:41,362 Point me to the keg. 479 00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:42,654 Oh, yeah. 480 00:22:42,655 --> 00:22:43,906 Oh, it's in the corner. 481 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:45,950 Then I am in the corner. 482 00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:51,622 Hey, don't be nervous. 483 00:22:51,831 --> 00:22:54,000 This party's gonna be great. 484 00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:55,459 Thanks. 485 00:22:55,668 --> 00:22:58,504 Yeah, so this is the main room? 486 00:22:58,671 --> 00:23:00,923 Yeah. Why? 487 00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:03,926 Well, it's probably big enough, uh - 488 00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:07,555 yeah, word's getting around. 489 00:23:07,763 --> 00:23:10,099 So, uh, you mind if I check out the rest? 490 00:23:11,934 --> 00:23:13,019 Okay. 491 00:23:14,478 --> 00:23:15,980 People are here. 492 00:23:16,939 --> 00:23:18,399 All right, it's going down. 493 00:23:18,608 --> 00:23:20,610 You're blocking the TV. 494 00:23:21,152 --> 00:23:22,486 What do you think's gonna happen? 495 00:23:22,695 --> 00:23:24,738 Well, hopefully everybody's gonna drink 496 00:23:24,739 --> 00:23:26,781 a bunch of fake beer, have to pee a lot, 497 00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:28,700 and go home 'cause they're bored. 498 00:23:28,701 --> 00:23:30,577 This is genius. 499 00:23:30,578 --> 00:23:33,038 It's my idea. I'm the genius. 500 00:23:33,039 --> 00:23:34,414 All right, here's the plan. 501 00:23:34,415 --> 00:23:35,624 Bill, you guard the keg. 502 00:23:35,625 --> 00:23:37,834 Neal and I will patrol the party. 503 00:23:37,835 --> 00:23:39,712 I'll keep an eye on Lindsay. 504 00:23:46,052 --> 00:23:48,094 I'm the genius. 505 00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:50,555 [Loud rock 'n' roll] 506 00:23:50,556 --> 00:23:51,723 - Hey. - What's up? 507 00:23:51,724 --> 00:23:53,642 - Come on in. - How's it going? 508 00:23:53,643 --> 00:23:57,354 J“ [singing] Na Nana na, Nana na, Nana na 509 00:23:57,355 --> 00:24:00,857 [groans] This beer sucks. 510 00:24:00,858 --> 00:24:02,442 It taste weird to you? 511 00:24:02,443 --> 00:24:04,402 Uh, it's imported. 512 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:06,614 Nothing's too good for our friends. 513 00:24:08,741 --> 00:24:10,533 Daniel probably bought the cheap beer 514 00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:11,619 and kept the extra cash. 515 00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:12,995 Definitely. 516 00:24:16,332 --> 00:24:18,084 Pump it, you dork. 517 00:24:18,417 --> 00:24:20,543 So I think if you look back, even, 518 00:24:20,544 --> 00:24:22,671 at “song remains the same," for instance, 519 00:24:22,672 --> 00:24:24,631 he's dressed like a gangster, 520 00:24:24,632 --> 00:24:27,342 a-and then his head got shot off, right? 521 00:24:27,343 --> 00:24:29,594 And all that multi-colored paint and stuff 522 00:24:29,595 --> 00:24:31,096 came out of his neck. 523 00:24:31,097 --> 00:24:33,807 And I think what that means is that he knew even then 524 00:24:33,808 --> 00:24:36,519 that he was gonna die. What? 525 00:24:36,686 --> 00:24:40,523 Uh, could you not sit on that, please? 526 00:24:40,731 --> 00:24:41,941 It's glass. 527 00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:45,569 Nah, Neal, no, you wouldn't want to trade places with me. 528 00:24:45,778 --> 00:24:47,113 Believe me. 529 00:24:47,822 --> 00:24:49,823 I don't know. I mean, I'm Jewish. 530 00:24:49,824 --> 00:24:51,158 That's no cakewalk either. 531 00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:54,412 I was elected school treasurer last year. 532 00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,122 I didn't even run. 533 00:24:59,792 --> 00:25:04,171 J“ [singing] Na Nana na, Nana na, Nana na 534 00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:13,180 J“ hush, hush, I thought I heard her callin' my name now 535 00:25:13,431 --> 00:25:15,181 j“ hush, hush 536 00:25:15,182 --> 00:25:17,342 j“ she broke my heart, but I love her just the same now 537 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:21,856 I saw all the cars out in front. 538 00:25:22,982 --> 00:25:25,359 Yeah, well, we're all hanging out. 539 00:25:26,986 --> 00:25:28,820 You missed a pop quiz in chemistry today. 540 00:25:28,821 --> 00:25:31,656 I did? Really? 541 00:25:31,657 --> 00:25:35,577 Yeah. Were you skipping out with your new friends? 542 00:25:35,578 --> 00:25:38,079 Or should I call them "drinking buddies"? 543 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,664 Millie. 544 00:25:39,665 --> 00:25:41,417 Why are you doing this, Lindsay? 545 00:25:42,043 --> 00:25:43,461 You're asking for trouble. 546 00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:46,546 Beer here! 547 00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:49,132 Uh, no, thank you. 548 00:25:49,133 --> 00:25:50,800 I prefer to get high on life. 549 00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:53,678 [Snickers] Oh, whoa, whoa. 550 00:25:53,679 --> 00:25:55,847 You're that chick from that thing yesterday. 551 00:25:55,848 --> 00:25:58,683 Oh, hey, would you give me a ride home? 552 00:25:58,684 --> 00:26:00,644 Yes, I would. 553 00:26:00,853 --> 00:26:02,521 [Snickers] “Yes, I would." 554 00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:07,151 Why is it so funny? 555 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,403 Look, Millie, I gotta get back to the party. 556 00:26:09,612 --> 00:26:10,612 You want to stay? 557 00:26:13,282 --> 00:26:15,326 And I'm going to have more fun than any of you. 558 00:26:16,827 --> 00:26:17,995 Soben 559 00:26:18,788 --> 00:26:21,540 [screeching tires] 560 00:26:24,710 --> 00:26:28,547 [Men talking] 561 00:26:29,757 --> 00:26:32,134 Uh, hi. 562 00:26:32,343 --> 00:26:33,969 Can I help you? 563 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,055 No doubt. 564 00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:38,015 [Laughter] 565 00:26:38,224 --> 00:26:40,017 We're friends of Daniel's. 566 00:26:40,309 --> 00:26:41,560 We're looking for some beer. 567 00:26:41,727 --> 00:26:43,895 Hey, Jimmy. [Giggling] 568 00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:46,940 Hey, sweet thing. Wh - where's your boy? 569 00:26:46,941 --> 00:26:48,484 Hopefully under a truck. 570 00:26:48,692 --> 00:26:50,152 I dumped his ass. 571 00:26:50,361 --> 00:26:51,529 Right on, man. 572 00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:53,238 That makes you available. 573 00:26:53,239 --> 00:26:55,949 - [Laughs] - No way, old man. 574 00:26:55,950 --> 00:26:59,786 - [Screams] - She's mine. 575 00:26:59,787 --> 00:27:01,579 All mine. 576 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:03,373 [Laughter] 577 00:27:03,374 --> 00:27:07,836 Come on, boys. Let's go tear this mother down! 578 00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:10,589 [Whooping] 579 00:27:13,968 --> 00:27:15,844 Hello, ladies! 580 00:27:15,845 --> 00:27:17,388 Who are those guys? 581 00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:20,015 They're... 582 00:27:21,684 --> 00:27:22,977 My guests. 583 00:27:27,273 --> 00:27:30,651 J“ [rock and roll music] 584 00:27:33,237 --> 00:27:34,237 [Belches] 585 00:27:35,072 --> 00:27:37,992 Oh, man, I gotta pee! 586 00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:41,203 I'll consider that a forfeit. 587 00:27:42,788 --> 00:27:44,331 I am the lord of quarters. 588 00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:49,669 - Oh, umm. - Oh, man! 589 00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:51,337 Man, I've had five beers already. 590 00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:52,672 I'm not even buzzed. 591 00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:54,799 You're the man, man! I don't know what to say. 592 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:55,801 You're the man! 593 00:27:56,510 --> 00:27:58,470 I haven't had any, and I'm sailing. 594 00:27:58,679 --> 00:28:00,931 I'm having more fun than any of you. 595 00:28:01,182 --> 00:28:02,850 Excuse me. 596 00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:08,521 Hey, wait a second, man. Aren't you a... a sober student? 597 00:28:08,522 --> 00:28:10,023 I only did that because it looks good 598 00:28:10,024 --> 00:28:11,399 on my transcript for college. 599 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,610 All right! 600 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:14,861 Wait... wait till I'm ready. Wait till I'm ready. 601 00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:17,072 - Wait till I'm... - Go! 602 00:28:18,282 --> 00:28:19,700 I wasn't ready. 603 00:28:23,537 --> 00:28:26,539 Hit me harder. Harder, man, come on! 604 00:28:26,540 --> 00:28:28,666 Come on. Feel the steel. 605 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:31,002 Man, you're tickling me. Who's next? 606 00:28:31,003 --> 00:28:33,088 All right, step right up, my big man. 607 00:28:33,297 --> 00:28:34,089 Come on, right here. 608 00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:35,256 [Chuckles] 609 00:28:35,341 --> 00:28:37,343 Man, that was cool, man. 610 00:28:38,928 --> 00:28:41,596 Are you sure we put out the right keg? 611 00:28:41,597 --> 00:28:42,889 It's working better than we wanted. 612 00:28:42,890 --> 00:28:44,265 They really think they're drunk. 613 00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:47,602 Look at them. They're wasted. 614 00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:50,773 That's the placebo effect working for you, my friend. 615 00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:52,775 Check out that guy. 616 00:28:53,317 --> 00:28:54,568 What if they trash the place 617 00:28:54,777 --> 00:28:56,057 'cause they think they're drunk? 618 00:28:56,153 --> 00:28:57,363 They won't. 619 00:28:58,656 --> 00:28:59,698 I don't think. 620 00:28:59,907 --> 00:29:01,450 This could be bad. 621 00:29:09,375 --> 00:29:13,712 J“ [rock music playing] 622 00:29:41,699 --> 00:29:43,741 Hey, Daniel. 623 00:29:44,827 --> 00:29:46,745 Uh, well, what are you doing? 624 00:29:46,954 --> 00:29:49,581 Oh, I'm just, uh, looking at all this stuff. 625 00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:52,126 How old are you here? 626 00:29:52,334 --> 00:29:55,628 It was... youngeh 627 00:29:55,629 --> 00:29:58,674 i-i-i was really geeky. 628 00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:03,761 You win a lot, don't you? 629 00:30:06,223 --> 00:30:07,450 But, you know, I've been meaning 630 00:30:07,474 --> 00:30:09,226 to put that in the basement. 631 00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:12,938 “First place-algebra division"? 632 00:30:13,522 --> 00:30:15,242 Oh, that's right. You're one of those, uh... 633 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:17,400 Mathletes. 634 00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:19,403 Yeah, I know. It's... 635 00:30:19,653 --> 00:30:22,031 Stupid. I don't do it anymore. 636 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,992 Why is it so stupid? 637 00:30:27,494 --> 00:30:29,621 You look pretty happy there. 638 00:30:32,708 --> 00:30:36,295 Hey, if I ever won a blue ribbon, 639 00:30:36,503 --> 00:30:38,172 I'd be so pumped. 640 00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:45,429 I mean, uh, I wouldn't wear it around or nothing, but... 641 00:30:49,433 --> 00:30:50,851 It's cool. 642 00:30:54,063 --> 00:30:55,606 Thanks. 643 00:31:28,097 --> 00:31:29,889 [Playing music] 644 00:31:29,890 --> 00:31:33,226 [Chuckles] Oh. Oh, no! 645 00:31:33,227 --> 00:31:36,562 That's that chick from the assembly, man. 646 00:31:36,563 --> 00:31:40,358 J“ [singing] Jesus is just alright with me 647 00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:44,488 j“ Jesus is just alright, oh, yeah 648 00:31:44,655 --> 00:31:48,533 j“ Jesus is just alright with me 649 00:31:48,534 --> 00:31:51,786 j“ Jesus is just alright... 650 00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:58,419 Both: J“ [singing] I don't care what they may say 651 00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:02,714 j“ I don't care what they may do 652 00:32:02,881 --> 00:32:06,218 j“ I don't care what they may say 653 00:32:06,677 --> 00:32:08,345 j“ Jesus is just alright 654 00:32:08,554 --> 00:32:10,806 come on! Come on, let's do it. 655 00:32:11,557 --> 00:32:12,558 Let's go. 656 00:32:12,766 --> 00:32:16,561 Both: J“ [singing] Doo doo de do doo doo doo doo 657 00:32:16,562 --> 00:32:20,273 j“ doo doo doo doo doo doo, oh, yeah... 658 00:32:20,274 --> 00:32:22,901 - Hi, Ken. - Hey. 659 00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:26,613 Do you guys like my sister? 660 00:32:26,905 --> 00:32:28,198 Sure. 661 00:32:28,907 --> 00:32:30,533 Well, then can you make sure 662 00:32:30,534 --> 00:32:33,537 that she doesn't get in too much trouble? 663 00:32:33,912 --> 00:32:35,164 Okay. 664 00:32:36,248 --> 00:32:37,666 Thanks. 665 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:41,044 Hey, which one's your sister? 666 00:32:41,211 --> 00:32:43,714 She's not that chick who's singing, is she? 667 00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:50,804 [Dramatic music playing] 668 00:32:56,518 --> 00:32:59,271 Careful. Careful, j.R. It's a trap. 669 00:33:04,485 --> 00:33:06,695 - Hey, you want to go? - What? 670 00:33:06,904 --> 00:33:09,448 I said, do you want to go? 671 00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:12,826 I always want to go, grandpa. 672 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:14,828 You want to go? 673 00:33:15,287 --> 00:33:16,663 You want to go? 674 00:33:17,498 --> 00:33:19,332 Let's go, fat boy! 675 00:33:19,333 --> 00:33:21,083 That was stupid, old man. 676 00:33:21,084 --> 00:33:22,210 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 677 00:33:22,211 --> 00:33:24,463 All right, cool off, man. Not here. 678 00:33:29,551 --> 00:33:31,178 All right, are we cool? 679 00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:35,057 Whatever. 680 00:33:39,895 --> 00:33:40,895 Hi, Sam. 681 00:33:41,438 --> 00:33:43,190 Hi, Cindy. 682 00:33:44,316 --> 00:33:45,516 I didn't know you were coming. 683 00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:47,486 Yeah. Neal invited me. 684 00:33:48,153 --> 00:33:50,238 Oh, this is my cousin Beth. 685 00:33:50,239 --> 00:33:51,697 She's visiting from boca raton. 686 00:33:51,698 --> 00:33:52,698 Oh, hi. 687 00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:53,951 So where's the beer? 688 00:33:54,159 --> 00:33:57,079 Uh, it - it's over there. 689 00:33:57,287 --> 00:33:59,873 Don't worry. I'm the designated driver. 690 00:34:05,003 --> 00:34:06,588 Good god. 691 00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:08,757 Why did Neal invite her? 692 00:34:08,966 --> 00:34:11,009 Now she's gonna see all the dumb stuff in my house. 693 00:34:11,510 --> 00:34:15,055 His plan is to distract you, so he can hit on your sister. 694 00:34:15,264 --> 00:34:17,641 Oh, man! He's so dead. 695 00:34:17,849 --> 00:34:19,142 What am I gonna say to Cindy? 696 00:34:19,601 --> 00:34:22,396 Don't say anything. Be dominant. 697 00:34:22,604 --> 00:34:24,982 It's all... all about dominance. 698 00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:27,985 I saw this monkey show on pbs. 699 00:34:28,819 --> 00:34:32,613 If you talk to her first, it's a sign of weakness, 700 00:34:32,614 --> 00:34:35,367 and then she will not pick you to be her mate. 701 00:34:35,576 --> 00:34:36,576 Are you drunk? 702 00:34:36,702 --> 00:34:37,995 I think so. Yes, I am. 703 00:34:38,245 --> 00:34:41,289 Oh, man! Go into my room, lock the door, 704 00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:42,957 and don't drink anymore. 705 00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:43,959 That's very dominant. 706 00:34:48,171 --> 00:34:50,132 Have you guys seen Daniel? 707 00:34:51,508 --> 00:34:52,718 All: No. 708 00:35:03,020 --> 00:35:04,354 Thanks for the dance. 709 00:35:12,738 --> 00:35:15,281 Ow. Watch it, Romeo. You're on my hair. 710 00:35:15,282 --> 00:35:17,659 Hey, we're busy here. 711 00:35:17,868 --> 00:35:18,868 Uh, sorry. 712 00:35:19,036 --> 00:35:21,288 Oh, hey, Lindsay. 713 00:35:22,122 --> 00:35:24,082 [Laughs] Don't worry. 714 00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:26,084 We threw your Teddy bears on the floor. 715 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,883 Daniel and Kim are making out on my bed. 716 00:36:16,510 --> 00:36:17,843 Oh. 717 00:36:17,844 --> 00:36:19,136 I thought they broke up. 718 00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:22,056 Yeah. I don't know. They break up, like, 719 00:36:22,057 --> 00:36:23,975 every week, you know, so... 720 00:36:26,103 --> 00:36:28,355 Hey.hey... 721 00:36:29,231 --> 00:36:31,111 You don't look like you're having very much fun. 722 00:36:31,233 --> 00:36:33,151 Well, I'm not. 723 00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:35,779 Hey, Lindsay, 724 00:36:36,405 --> 00:36:37,405 this is a party. 725 00:36:37,406 --> 00:36:41,742 Okay? So will you please just, like, try to relax 726 00:36:41,743 --> 00:36:44,120 and have a good time, okay? 727 00:36:44,121 --> 00:36:48,125 And when it's over, I'll stay and I'll help you clean up. 728 00:36:48,291 --> 00:36:49,710 Thanks. 729 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,920 Oh, I'm so glad you're here. 730 00:36:53,046 --> 00:36:54,339 Yeah, me too. 731 00:36:57,384 --> 00:36:59,010 [Laughs] What are you doing? 732 00:36:59,219 --> 00:37:00,637 Nothing. 733 00:37:01,555 --> 00:37:03,181 Ew! Stop! 734 00:37:04,433 --> 00:37:05,725 What are you doing? 735 00:37:05,726 --> 00:37:09,770 I'm sorry. Oh, my god, I'm really sorry. 736 00:37:09,771 --> 00:37:11,105 I'm really sorry. 737 00:37:11,106 --> 00:37:12,106 What are you doing? 738 00:37:13,108 --> 00:37:14,151 I'm really sorry. 739 00:37:14,359 --> 00:37:16,611 I'm - I'm really wasted right now, you know. 740 00:37:17,821 --> 00:37:19,740 John bonham died. 741 00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:26,328 [Singing] I you like the credit cards 742 00:37:26,329 --> 00:37:29,165 j“ and private planes 743 00:37:29,166 --> 00:37:31,793 [door opens] 744 00:37:40,302 --> 00:37:42,137 Lindsay? Are you okay? 745 00:37:43,221 --> 00:37:44,848 Yeah, I'm fine. 746 00:37:45,015 --> 00:37:46,933 I'll be out in a minute. 747 00:37:47,476 --> 00:37:49,144 Sometimes it helps to talk to someone. 748 00:37:50,353 --> 00:37:52,229 Well, I'm too drunk to talk. 749 00:37:52,230 --> 00:37:55,691 No, that's okay. I speak drunk. 750 00:37:55,692 --> 00:38:00,279 I'm so wasted, and I hate my life. 751 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,199 You shouldn't hate your life. 752 00:38:02,532 --> 00:38:04,785 Why not? It sucks. 753 00:38:04,951 --> 00:38:06,369 No, it doesn't. 754 00:38:06,912 --> 00:38:08,663 You're a beautiful young girl. 755 00:38:08,872 --> 00:38:10,247 The world is your oyster. 756 00:38:10,248 --> 00:38:12,709 Please leave me alone. 757 00:38:14,252 --> 00:38:15,754 Why? 758 00:38:19,049 --> 00:38:21,301 Because you're Sam's sister. 759 00:38:24,095 --> 00:38:25,639 I'm so wasted. 760 00:38:26,890 --> 00:38:29,559 I wish I never had this party. 761 00:38:30,018 --> 00:38:33,647 Uh, that's all right. It's okay. 762 00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:35,357 Everything will be okay. 763 00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:44,490 Sam, right? 764 00:38:44,491 --> 00:38:46,993 Have you, uh, seen your sister around anywhere? 765 00:38:48,119 --> 00:38:50,288 No! Not recently. 766 00:38:52,374 --> 00:38:55,876 Um, if you see her, could you just tell her 767 00:38:55,877 --> 00:38:57,044 that I'm really sorry? 768 00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:58,588 Did you break something? 769 00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:05,303 Just forget it, okay? 770 00:39:06,012 --> 00:39:08,639 All: Go, go, go, go, 90, 90, 90, 90! 771 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:09,723 [Glass breaks] 772 00:39:09,724 --> 00:39:12,184 Oh, god. What is going on out there? 773 00:39:12,185 --> 00:39:13,936 I didn't even want to have this party. 774 00:39:13,937 --> 00:39:16,021 I only had it 'cause Daniel wanted it. 775 00:39:16,022 --> 00:39:19,067 And next thing I know, he's making out on my bed with Kim. 776 00:39:19,276 --> 00:39:20,610 It's typical. 777 00:39:22,487 --> 00:39:24,656 All my new friends think I'm some goody two-shoes, 778 00:39:24,865 --> 00:39:27,741 and all my old friends think I'm throwing my life away. 779 00:39:27,742 --> 00:39:29,661 What the hell am I supposed to do? 780 00:39:32,122 --> 00:39:33,748 May I speak freely? 781 00:39:33,999 --> 00:39:35,375 [Sighs] 782 00:39:35,584 --> 00:39:38,544 That Daniel guy, you can do better. 783 00:39:38,545 --> 00:39:42,549 And, hey, at least people showed up to your party. 784 00:39:44,509 --> 00:39:45,927 When I was in the sixth grade, 785 00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:47,595 my mom threw me a surprise party, 786 00:39:47,596 --> 00:39:49,681 you know what the surprise was? 787 00:39:49,890 --> 00:39:51,850 Nobody showed up. 788 00:39:52,809 --> 00:39:54,686 Except bill and Sam. 789 00:39:56,021 --> 00:39:57,438 [Knock at door] 790 00:39:57,439 --> 00:39:58,439 Yeah? 791 00:39:58,565 --> 00:39:59,357 Whosever in there, 792 00:39:59,566 --> 00:40:00,846 we need five bucks from everyone. 793 00:40:01,026 --> 00:40:02,402 We 're gonna get another keg. 794 00:40:02,611 --> 00:40:04,529 Oh, my god. 795 00:40:05,363 --> 00:40:07,449 Forget it, man. We just found 50 bucks. 796 00:40:08,533 --> 00:40:11,035 Um, you've gotta do something. 797 00:40:11,036 --> 00:40:13,621 I can't. If I go out there and kick everybody out, 798 00:40:13,622 --> 00:40:15,956 I am gonna look so lame. 799 00:40:15,957 --> 00:40:18,167 Um, no, no, no. Why don't you call the police? 800 00:40:18,168 --> 00:40:19,688 I mean, that's what my dad always does. 801 00:40:21,212 --> 00:40:23,047 Oh, so they can come in and find the keg? 802 00:40:23,048 --> 00:40:24,841 Not without a warrant. 803 00:40:25,216 --> 00:40:27,093 No. No. I can't. 804 00:40:27,636 --> 00:40:30,263 Oh, god. I can't handle any of this. 805 00:40:30,472 --> 00:40:33,308 Of course you can. You're Lindsay Weir. 806 00:40:33,558 --> 00:40:34,892 You can do anything. 807 00:40:34,893 --> 00:40:36,560 You're smart and pretty. 808 00:40:36,561 --> 00:40:38,729 You don't take any crap. 809 00:40:38,730 --> 00:40:40,190 And you're the perfect girl, 810 00:40:40,398 --> 00:40:43,568 and I've been in love with you since I was five years old. 811 00:40:44,861 --> 00:40:47,237 [Sobs] 812 00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:49,616 Maybe I should call the cops. 813 00:40:50,992 --> 00:40:52,243 Okay. 814 00:40:57,707 --> 00:40:58,999 Hi. Police, please. 815 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,251 Thank you. 816 00:41:02,170 --> 00:41:03,797 Yes, hello, police? 817 00:41:04,589 --> 00:41:05,589 Yes. Hi. 818 00:41:05,715 --> 00:41:08,467 There's a very loud and annoying party going on next door. 819 00:41:08,468 --> 00:41:09,927 It's just been going on forever. 820 00:41:09,928 --> 00:41:12,138 I'm very tired, and I'm old, and I need my rest. 821 00:41:12,347 --> 00:41:13,682 I've gotta work tomorrow. 822 00:41:14,099 --> 00:41:17,309 Yes. It's 13 nome drive. 823 00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:20,981 Thank you. Please hurry up. I'm so tired. 824 00:41:24,067 --> 00:41:25,818 Done. 825 00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:29,739 I'd say this party has a life expectancy of five minutes. 826 00:41:31,783 --> 00:41:33,576 Thanks, Neal. 827 00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:49,426 Hey, Sam. 828 00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:53,972 Oh, hey, Cindy. I didn't see you there. 829 00:41:55,515 --> 00:41:57,017 So, how's it going? 830 00:41:57,225 --> 00:41:58,351 Pretty good. 831 00:41:59,519 --> 00:42:02,230 So, uh, where are all the cute guys? 832 00:42:03,690 --> 00:42:07,944 What, the bus hasn't arrived yet? 833 00:42:14,701 --> 00:42:16,244 Oh, my god. The police are here. 834 00:42:16,453 --> 00:42:17,495 [People groaning] 835 00:42:17,704 --> 00:42:19,205 Come on, everybody out. 836 00:42:20,206 --> 00:42:22,332 Look, do you want Lindsay to get in trouble? 837 00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:24,293 I'm on parole. 838 00:42:24,294 --> 00:42:26,629 Let's get out of here before they search the Van. 839 00:42:28,923 --> 00:42:31,301 You don't have to run, Ken. It's fake beer. 840 00:42:31,509 --> 00:42:33,093 I know. 841 00:42:33,094 --> 00:42:35,805 I won 87 bucks playing quarters. 842 00:42:36,014 --> 00:42:37,182 This party ruled. 843 00:42:44,564 --> 00:42:46,065 Oh, hey, Lindsay. 844 00:42:46,066 --> 00:42:47,274 Great party. 845 00:42:47,275 --> 00:42:48,943 We had a great time. 846 00:42:49,986 --> 00:42:51,446 Glad you had a good time. 847 00:42:51,654 --> 00:42:53,406 I knew you had it in you. 848 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,285 Let's get out of here. 849 00:42:58,536 --> 00:43:00,538 You were a wonderful hostess. 850 00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:02,707 Have us back again soon. 851 00:43:11,591 --> 00:43:13,927 Should've hired a magician. 852 00:43:15,595 --> 00:43:17,097 [Moans] 853 00:43:22,143 --> 00:43:23,478 Hey, bill, get up. 854 00:43:23,728 --> 00:43:25,105 [Moans] 855 00:43:25,271 --> 00:43:27,690 That's how the drummer from led zeppelin died. 856 00:43:30,068 --> 00:43:31,611 Did he? 857 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:35,782 Good night, Lindsay. 858 00:43:35,990 --> 00:43:37,784 [Moans]