1 00:00:01,420 --> 00:00:04,464 “Puberty usually begins between the ages of 11 and 14 2 00:00:04,465 --> 00:00:07,176 "when profound hormonal changes occur. 3 00:00:07,384 --> 00:00:08,760 “The onset of these changes 4 00:00:08,761 --> 00:00:10,095 "is the function of a small gland 5 00:00:10,304 --> 00:00:11,722 "called the pituitary. 6 00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:14,850 “This gland sends chemical signals throughout the body, 7 00:00:15,059 --> 00:00:16,852 "most notably resulting in height increase, 8 00:00:17,061 --> 00:00:18,771 and hair growth in the genital area." 9 00:00:20,231 --> 00:00:21,857 Hey, hey! Knock it off! 10 00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:23,859 You think this is funny? 11 00:00:24,068 --> 00:00:26,111 Just try me. 12 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,488 Okay, all right. 13 00:00:27,696 --> 00:00:31,617 Here is, uh, the female reproductive system. 14 00:00:31,825 --> 00:00:34,703 “The uterus is composed of 2 main parts..." 15 00:00:34,912 --> 00:00:37,331 What the hell is that? 16 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:39,208 You think she's single? 17 00:00:39,416 --> 00:00:41,710 It looks like it's from outer space. 18 00:00:41,919 --> 00:00:42,919 Shut up. 19 00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:46,757 You have something to say? 20 00:00:46,966 --> 00:00:48,133 No, sir. 21 00:00:48,342 --> 00:00:49,968 When you get the clap 'cause you weren't 22 00:00:49,969 --> 00:00:51,177 paying attention in health class, 23 00:00:51,178 --> 00:00:52,471 is that gonna be funny, too? 24 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,559 I didn't think so. 25 00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:59,687 “Cervix, it has a fine canal running through it 26 00:00:59,895 --> 00:01:02,565 opening into the cavity of the uterus above." 27 00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:05,067 Didn't sigourney Weaver kill that thing in “alien"? 28 00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:06,694 Be quiet. 29 00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:10,322 “During pregnancy..." 30 00:01:10,531 --> 00:01:12,491 Remember when it popped out of that guy's stomach? 31 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,785 No, idiot, it jumped out of his chest. 32 00:01:14,994 --> 00:01:16,912 - Shut up. - All right, Weir! 33 00:01:17,121 --> 00:01:18,789 Since you seem to know everything, 34 00:01:18,998 --> 00:01:20,416 you know what, I got a great idea. 35 00:01:20,624 --> 00:01:22,585 Why don't I shut my big mouth, 36 00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:24,670 and you come up and teach the class. 37 00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:25,879 Sorry. 38 00:01:26,088 --> 00:01:28,007 I said get up here. 39 00:01:30,718 --> 00:01:32,553 Get up here! Let's go. 40 00:01:37,516 --> 00:01:40,519 Oh, uh, excuse me, Dr. Love? 41 00:01:42,104 --> 00:01:44,440 Could you show me where the ovaries are located? 42 00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:47,735 - Ovaries? - Ovaries. 43 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,614 Sorry. 44 00:01:51,822 --> 00:01:55,618 Uh, cervix? Cervix. 45 00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,331 Cervix. 46 00:02:01,457 --> 00:02:02,833 “Cervix says" no- 47 00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:05,710 Hey, all right 48 00:02:05,878 --> 00:02:07,588 pachowski, you want to go help him? 49 00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:08,922 Huh? 50 00:02:09,131 --> 00:02:10,591 The vagina, Weir, the va - 51 00:02:10,799 --> 00:02:11,925 easy one, easy one. 52 00:02:12,134 --> 00:02:13,260 Basic stuff, guys know it. 53 00:02:13,469 --> 00:02:15,137 Go ahead, point to it. 54 00:02:20,976 --> 00:02:23,270 I - I don't know. 55 00:02:25,147 --> 00:02:27,274 All right, Mr. Weir, 56 00:02:27,483 --> 00:02:28,817 instead of yucking it up in class, 57 00:02:29,026 --> 00:02:30,306 you might want to pay attention, 58 00:02:30,361 --> 00:02:32,946 or you're going to have a very difficult life. 59 00:02:33,155 --> 00:02:34,990 Okay? Sit down, Dr. Love. 60 00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:39,620 Dr. Love 61 00:02:42,122 --> 00:02:44,083 At least I didn't get head lice. 62 00:03:40,097 --> 00:03:41,472 Thanks for those pierogies, tricia. 63 00:03:41,473 --> 00:03:43,308 - They were delicious. - Oh, you're welcome. 64 00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:44,852 - Hey. - Hey. 65 00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:47,396 Hey, good game on Saturday, Eddie. 66 00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:50,356 Jennifer, I've been hearing some terrific things about you 67 00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:51,835 from my sources in the English department. 68 00:03:51,859 --> 00:03:52,859 - Mmhmm. - As you were. 69 00:03:52,985 --> 00:03:54,403 Hey, Brad. 70 00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:55,904 Haven't seen you in a while. 71 00:03:56,113 --> 00:03:57,698 Stop by the office. We'll rap. 72 00:03:57,906 --> 00:04:00,617 Sure thing, Mr. Rosso. 73 00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:02,828 Peace, brother. 74 00:04:07,124 --> 00:04:09,168 Rock on, Kirby. 75 00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:13,046 Okay, Mr. Desario, it's time for your favorite class. 76 00:04:13,255 --> 00:04:15,007 See ya. 77 00:04:19,511 --> 00:04:21,096 Okay, come on, people, simmer down. 78 00:04:21,305 --> 00:04:22,890 Come on, let's go. 79 00:04:23,056 --> 00:04:24,516 This is my time, not yours. 80 00:04:24,725 --> 00:04:25,893 Hey, chatty Cathy, 81 00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:27,686 you sit on the furniture at home? 82 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,815 Okay, a reminder about tomorrow's test. 83 00:04:32,024 --> 00:04:33,484 It's tomorrow. 84 00:04:33,692 --> 00:04:36,069 Uh, kowchevski? 85 00:04:36,278 --> 00:04:37,780 Desario? 86 00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:40,616 Didn't we take a test last week? 87 00:04:40,824 --> 00:04:41,992 Your point? 88 00:04:42,201 --> 00:04:44,243 Well, I just don't think you've taught us enough 89 00:04:44,244 --> 00:04:45,913 in the past week to give us another test. 90 00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:49,875 Okay, people, in math, 91 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:52,336 every week you build off 92 00:04:52,544 --> 00:04:54,254 what you learned the week before. 93 00:04:54,463 --> 00:04:55,756 I mean, it's like a bus. 94 00:04:55,964 --> 00:04:57,257 And you keep missing the bus, 95 00:04:57,424 --> 00:04:59,676 you're never gonna be able to catch up. 96 00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:02,095 But, uh, I don't ride the bus, sir. 97 00:05:04,223 --> 00:05:05,682 Yeah, flunk another test, desario, 98 00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:08,644 and you just might have to come back here next year 99 00:05:08,852 --> 00:05:10,938 and ride the bus with me again. 100 00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:15,359 So the guy looks up at her, right? 101 00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:16,276 And he says, 102 00:05:16,485 --> 00:05:18,278 “how do you think I rang the doorbell?" 103 00:05:20,197 --> 00:05:21,824 Oh, man, that's so raunchy. 104 00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:23,283 I don't get it. 105 00:05:23,492 --> 00:05:24,492 What's to get? 106 00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:26,745 Jocks don't know how to tell jokes. 107 00:05:26,954 --> 00:05:28,580 Do you get it? 108 00:05:28,789 --> 00:05:29,873 I don't really like jokes. 109 00:05:30,082 --> 00:05:31,375 I don't think they're funny. 110 00:05:31,583 --> 00:05:32,918 I mean, maybe if we understood it, 111 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:34,126 it would be funny. 112 00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:35,712 They were laughing pretty hard. 113 00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:37,005 Trust me, they're idiots. 114 00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:39,216 It's not funny. 115 00:05:42,094 --> 00:05:43,220 Hi, Sam. 116 00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:46,014 Oh hi, Cindy. 117 00:05:46,223 --> 00:05:47,266 How are you? 118 00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:48,600 I'm good. And you? 119 00:05:48,809 --> 00:05:49,935 Uh, pretty good. 120 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:52,354 Are you going to the muscular dystrophy carnival? 121 00:05:52,563 --> 00:05:54,398 I'm in charge of the ice cream booth. 122 00:05:54,606 --> 00:05:56,400 Yeah, I heard about that. 123 00:05:56,608 --> 00:05:58,610 Oh, hey, Dr. Love, 124 00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:00,419 hey, I can't find my girlfriend's cervix. 125 00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:02,531 Can you help me out? 126 00:06:03,991 --> 00:06:05,993 Okay, what was that all about? 127 00:06:06,201 --> 00:06:09,204 Oh, that was just... An inside joke. 128 00:06:10,998 --> 00:06:11,998 Anyways, 129 00:06:12,124 --> 00:06:14,585 if you need another volunteer 130 00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,504 for the ice cream booth, I'm around. 131 00:06:17,713 --> 00:06:19,923 Well, thanks, but Betsy's already doing it. 132 00:06:20,132 --> 00:06:21,508 But make sure you stop by, though. 133 00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:22,718 Okay. 134 00:06:22,926 --> 00:06:25,095 All right, see ya. 135 00:06:26,221 --> 00:06:27,431 Hey, Tommy, are you coming 136 00:06:27,639 --> 00:06:29,099 to the muscular dystrophy carnival? 137 00:06:29,308 --> 00:06:30,809 Excuse me, Dr. Love? 138 00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:32,895 Would you autograph my genitals? 139 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,233 I took 20 bucks from my mom, right? 140 00:06:38,442 --> 00:06:40,485 But she thought it was my brother. 141 00:06:40,694 --> 00:06:42,362 She completely went nuts on him, 142 00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:44,031 hit him over the head with a spatula. 143 00:06:44,239 --> 00:06:45,407 I mean, it was hilarious. 144 00:06:45,616 --> 00:06:47,117 Sounds it. 145 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:50,746 God! You bastard! Why'd you do that? 146 00:06:51,038 --> 00:06:52,456 I don't know. I don't know. 147 00:06:52,623 --> 00:06:54,023 God, what are you, lit or something? 148 00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:55,334 You know? Jeez! 149 00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:57,419 I'm sorry. Mellow out, all right? 150 00:06:57,628 --> 00:06:58,670 How do you like it? 151 00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:00,479 You know, now I gotta walk around all day 152 00:07:00,505 --> 00:07:01,590 with pop on my shirt. 153 00:07:01,798 --> 00:07:02,925 You know? Thanks a lot. 154 00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:04,635 Yeah, yeah. 155 00:07:05,802 --> 00:07:07,095 Man. 156 00:07:07,304 --> 00:07:10,015 I get these weird urges sometimes. 157 00:07:10,599 --> 00:07:12,976 I should probably go apologize. 158 00:07:23,904 --> 00:07:24,904 Are you okay? 159 00:07:28,784 --> 00:07:30,827 Kowchevski says if I flunk this test tomorrow 160 00:07:31,036 --> 00:07:32,537 I'll have to take algebra again. 161 00:07:33,163 --> 00:07:35,207 Do you think you might flunk it? 162 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:38,627 No, I'm definitely gonna flunk it. 163 00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:44,132 Do you take algebra? 164 00:07:44,341 --> 00:07:46,218 Uh, no. I took it last year. 165 00:07:46,426 --> 00:07:48,220 I take trig. 166 00:07:48,428 --> 00:07:50,097 Oh, you must study a lot. 167 00:07:50,305 --> 00:07:53,183 Math isn't this big deal that everyone thinks it is. 168 00:07:53,392 --> 00:07:55,434 It's just a few basic formulas and some shortcuts, 169 00:07:55,435 --> 00:07:56,770 and then you plug in the numbers. 170 00:07:56,979 --> 00:07:57,979 Shortcuts? 171 00:07:58,105 --> 00:08:00,148 You mean, like, tricks? 172 00:08:00,357 --> 00:08:01,566 You could call them that. 173 00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:05,153 You could definitely do it if you wanted to. 174 00:08:05,362 --> 00:08:07,406 Oh, yeah, I know. 175 00:08:07,614 --> 00:08:11,034 I mean, if I study, I could do it. 176 00:08:11,243 --> 00:08:13,495 It's not like I'm a bus driver. 177 00:08:14,663 --> 00:08:16,383 It's just, you know, it doesn't interest me. 178 00:08:16,498 --> 00:08:17,791 It's so lame. 179 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,001 But do you really want 180 00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:20,794 to be in kowchevski's class again? 181 00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:23,422 Hell, no. I'd rather be in jail. 182 00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:26,258 Well, I could help you study. 183 00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:29,261 It could be kind of fun. 184 00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:33,223 So the guy says, 185 00:08:33,432 --> 00:08:36,351 “how do you think I rang the doorbell?" 186 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,022 So it is funny? 187 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:41,231 What does it mean? 188 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:42,941 You guys are so young. 189 00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:45,152 You're only a year older than we are. 190 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,071 Yeah, come on, Harris, what does it mean? 191 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,115 He doesn't get it, either. 192 00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:51,323 Oh, I get it. 193 00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,243 - Then tell us. - I can't. 194 00:08:53,452 --> 00:08:55,829 - Why not? - 'Cause then you'd know. 195 00:08:56,038 --> 00:08:57,914 So, that's the point, isn't it? 196 00:08:58,123 --> 00:09:00,292 You have to find out for yourselves. 197 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,085 That's why we're asking. 198 00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:03,879 I told you. He doesn't know. 199 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:06,214 If I didn't know, would I be with Judith here? 200 00:09:06,423 --> 00:09:08,759 Oh, Harris, you're so bad. 201 00:09:15,307 --> 00:09:17,184 Love is like homework. 202 00:09:17,392 --> 00:09:19,978 You got to study if you want to get an “a”. 203 00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:24,316 So then the guy says, 204 00:09:24,524 --> 00:09:26,526 “how do you think I rang the doorbell?" 205 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,653 Do you get it? 206 00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:30,197 I don't. 207 00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:33,408 Dad? 208 00:09:34,826 --> 00:09:35,827 You know who's funny? 209 00:09:36,036 --> 00:09:37,954 That red buttons. 210 00:09:39,331 --> 00:09:40,665 Oh, who could that be? 211 00:09:40,874 --> 00:09:41,999 Oh, that's Daniel. 212 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,542 He's a friend of mine from school. 213 00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:44,711 I'll get the door. 214 00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:47,339 It's dark out, and you're a - a girl. 215 00:09:51,927 --> 00:09:53,261 Hi, is, uh, Lindsay here? 216 00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:05,190 Okay, so... how do you want to do this? 217 00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:06,817 I don't know. 218 00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:09,152 I've never done this before. 219 00:10:09,611 --> 00:10:12,364 Okay, well, in your textbook the - 220 00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:14,407 did you bring your textbook? 221 00:10:16,243 --> 00:10:18,161 Oh, I probably should have, huh? 222 00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:20,413 Yeah. 223 00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:22,916 Man. 224 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:27,045 Screwed up already. 225 00:10:27,254 --> 00:10:28,505 No, it's okay. 226 00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:31,424 I think I have mine from last year. 227 00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:33,301 Oh, great. 228 00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:36,221 You know, there's these practice tests in here. 229 00:10:36,429 --> 00:10:37,848 And they're kind of helpful. 230 00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,307 Just talking about studying 231 00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:41,935 makes me want to take a nap. 232 00:10:42,144 --> 00:10:43,854 Hey, wait, what are you doing? 233 00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,063 What? 234 00:10:45,647 --> 00:10:47,065 You can't smoke in here. 235 00:10:47,274 --> 00:10:48,567 I - I mean, I don't care. 236 00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:50,026 It's just, my parents. 237 00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:52,237 Oh, right, right, right, I - I'm sorry. 238 00:10:53,029 --> 00:10:54,656 I got an idea. 239 00:10:56,116 --> 00:10:58,201 I'll go outside and smoke this. 240 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:00,120 But when I get back, 241 00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,831 Blaze through those tricks of yours. 242 00:11:23,101 --> 00:11:24,769 What do you got there? 243 00:11:25,729 --> 00:11:27,355 Uh, um... 244 00:11:28,106 --> 00:11:29,399 Nothing. 245 00:11:30,734 --> 00:11:32,277 Nothing? 246 00:11:32,485 --> 00:11:34,029 What's that? 247 00:11:38,325 --> 00:11:39,659 Let me see. 248 00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:42,931 These types of books just make me think 249 00:11:43,038 --> 00:11:45,415 of all the crap that can go wrong inside you. 250 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:49,002 Why you are reading this? 251 00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:54,382 I'm taking sex ed with Mr. Fredricks. 252 00:11:54,591 --> 00:11:55,759 He embarrassed me 253 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,385 in front of the whole class 254 00:11:57,594 --> 00:11:58,994 just because I'm a little bit behind 255 00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,597 when it comes to that sort of stuff. 256 00:12:01,514 --> 00:12:03,475 Yeah, I know how that goes. 257 00:12:05,518 --> 00:12:06,645 You do? 258 00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,146 You know, you're not gonna learn 259 00:12:08,355 --> 00:12:10,482 anything you can use from a book like that. 260 00:12:13,068 --> 00:12:14,236 I'm not? 261 00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:21,076 I'll tell you what. 262 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,162 I'll find you at school tomorrow. 263 00:12:24,371 --> 00:12:25,872 I'll set you up. 264 00:12:26,081 --> 00:12:27,123 With what? 265 00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:29,751 Don't worry. It's cool. 266 00:12:36,299 --> 00:12:38,510 So, let's try a different one. 267 00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:42,847 How do you solve this type of problem? 268 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:47,394 Use the quadratic formula? 269 00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:48,602 Exactly. 270 00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:51,273 And what is the quadratic formula? 271 00:12:52,816 --> 00:12:54,734 “X” equals... 272 00:12:58,488 --> 00:12:59,698 Negative "b", 273 00:12:59,906 --> 00:13:02,408 plus or minus the square root. 274 00:13:02,409 --> 00:13:03,826 Lindsay, 275 00:13:03,827 --> 00:13:05,707 when you told me you were gonna teach me tricks, 276 00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:08,081 I thought you meant, like, real tricks. 277 00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:10,417 What do you mean, like magic tricks? 278 00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:11,625 Yeah, well, sort of. 279 00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:12,877 I mean, right now 280 00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:14,796 you're kind of just teaching me math. 281 00:13:15,005 --> 00:13:16,506 Well, yeah, but you're gonna get it. 282 00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:19,509 I know, but I can't learn all this. 283 00:13:19,718 --> 00:13:21,511 The test is tomorrow. 284 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:22,929 There's no way. 285 00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:25,598 I - I don't know what else to do. 286 00:13:29,144 --> 00:13:30,437 I'll be cool. 287 00:13:30,645 --> 00:13:32,188 Really? 288 00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:38,653 Hey, I'm sorry for wasting your time. 289 00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:42,657 You didn't. 290 00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:44,242 Okay. 291 00:13:44,451 --> 00:13:46,411 Oh, wanna you want to do something? 292 00:13:47,203 --> 00:13:48,413 Uh, I don't think I can. 293 00:13:48,621 --> 00:13:51,082 It's a school night and everything. 294 00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:53,501 Are you sure you're okay? 295 00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:55,211 Yeah, I'm fine. 296 00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:57,297 See ya. 297 00:13:57,505 --> 00:13:58,965 Good luck. 298 00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:03,720 See ya tomorrow. 299 00:14:06,348 --> 00:14:08,433 The hulk could kick the thing's butt any day. 300 00:14:08,641 --> 00:14:09,641 No way! 301 00:14:09,809 --> 00:14:11,329 The thing could definitely take the hulk. 302 00:14:11,353 --> 00:14:12,633 Even if the hulk could beat him, 303 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,521 all it has to do is wait till the hulk 304 00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:16,107 turns into bill Bixby again 305 00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:17,356 and cream him, no problem. 306 00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:18,442 You know, you're right. 307 00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:19,569 Hey, Weir. 308 00:14:19,778 --> 00:14:21,363 Come here. 309 00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:24,324 I got something you might be interested in. 310 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,327 Check it out, but don't lose it. 311 00:14:27,911 --> 00:14:28,703 Okay. 312 00:14:28,912 --> 00:14:30,330 I want it back. 313 00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:32,165 All right. 314 00:14:32,374 --> 00:14:33,583 All right. 315 00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:35,960 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 316 00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:38,380 Don't open it here, man. 317 00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:40,215 I don't want it getting confiscated. 318 00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:41,966 Know what I'm saying? 319 00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:43,635 Okay. 320 00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:45,053 All right. 321 00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,099 Confiscated? 322 00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:52,102 Come on, let's go. 323 00:14:57,107 --> 00:14:58,191 Hey, chump. 324 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,692 I need your help. 325 00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,069 Come here. 326 00:15:02,654 --> 00:15:03,863 Come on. All right. 327 00:15:04,072 --> 00:15:05,872 I need to get something out of this classroom. 328 00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:07,534 If you see kowchevski coming, 329 00:15:07,742 --> 00:15:10,328 you just bang on this door, all right? 330 00:15:11,246 --> 00:15:13,248 Hey, don't screw me over. Look alive. 331 00:15:13,456 --> 00:15:14,456 I'm alive, man. 332 00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:16,167 You don't have to hit me. 333 00:15:16,376 --> 00:15:17,710 All right. 334 00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:20,755 I'll be out in a second. 335 00:15:22,215 --> 00:15:23,883 Hey, Nick, what's up? 336 00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,136 Oh, hey, what's up, Sara? 337 00:15:33,768 --> 00:15:35,496 Did you hear that Danielle and I were gonna sing 338 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,896 “super trouper" at the talent show? 339 00:15:37,105 --> 00:15:38,148 Oh, yeah? 340 00:15:38,356 --> 00:15:39,796 Yeah, we're gonna dress up like abba. 341 00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:41,984 Abba, huh? 342 00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,153 Mmhmm. 343 00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:46,865 They're from, uh, Switzerland, right? 344 00:15:47,073 --> 00:15:49,742 No, you know, I think they're from Sweden, actually. 345 00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,291 What are you doing? 346 00:15:56,499 --> 00:15:57,834 I'm, uh 347 00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,836 thinking about abba. 348 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,426 Yeah, I'll talk to you later. 349 00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:08,510 All right. 350 00:16:08,595 --> 00:16:10,638 Well, uh, talk to you later. 351 00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:13,141 I think I'm getting a wart on my wrist. 352 00:16:13,349 --> 00:16:15,810 Jesus, man, this algebra test is crazy. 353 00:16:16,019 --> 00:16:17,187 What language is this? 354 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:18,730 How do you get rid of a wart? 355 00:16:18,938 --> 00:16:21,107 Hey. I'm trying to think here, okay? 356 00:16:21,316 --> 00:16:22,817 Oh, I'm sorry, man. 357 00:16:24,486 --> 00:16:25,653 Come on. 358 00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:27,906 It looks like some kind of movie or something. 359 00:16:28,114 --> 00:16:29,908 Let me see that. Let me see it. 360 00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:32,160 Hang on. 361 00:16:34,162 --> 00:16:36,039 Oh, my god. 362 00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:37,957 It's a naked woman. 363 00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,417 What's she doing? 364 00:16:39,626 --> 00:16:40,706 Who cares what she's doing? 365 00:16:40,877 --> 00:16:42,003 She's naked. 366 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:45,298 It's a dirty movie. 367 00:16:45,507 --> 00:16:47,342 You mean, like a porno? 368 00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:50,011 Oh, ew! Give me that. 369 00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:54,182 What am I supposed to do with a porno? 370 00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:56,017 You watch it 371 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:57,727 over and over. 372 00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:01,564 Only perverts watch pornos, right? 373 00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:04,901 Well, then every guy in america is a pervert. 374 00:17:05,527 --> 00:17:08,196 The meaning of that joke is right here. 375 00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:10,240 How am I supposed to watch it? 376 00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:11,908 I don't even have a projector. 377 00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:13,701 Well, I do. Give it to me. 378 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,705 After school today, we go to my house, 379 00:17:17,914 --> 00:17:21,000 and we watch this movie from beginning to end. 380 00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:22,961 Ag Reed? 381 00:17:23,169 --> 00:17:24,546 Okay. 382 00:17:34,389 --> 00:17:36,391 I ganked the test. 383 00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:37,976 Wait. What? 384 00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:41,563 I stole it. 385 00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:43,064 From kowchevski's office. 386 00:17:43,273 --> 00:17:44,399 He's got no clue. 387 00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:45,942 I need your help. 388 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,944 I can't figure any of this out. 389 00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:50,196 I can't. 390 00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:53,908 Sure, you can. 391 00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:55,451 This stuff's easy for you. 392 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,370 No, I mean... 393 00:17:57,579 --> 00:17:59,289 I shouldn't. 394 00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:00,915 Why not? 395 00:18:08,673 --> 00:18:09,924 Don't worry. 396 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:11,373 I'm not gonna be hitting you up 397 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,219 every time I have a math test. 398 00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:15,013 I promise. 399 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,437 So for this one - 400 00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:27,400 look, I don't mean to be uptight, 401 00:18:28,151 --> 00:18:29,444 but it's just - 402 00:18:29,652 --> 00:18:32,030 why don't I talk to kowchevski? 403 00:18:32,989 --> 00:18:34,157 What? Why? 404 00:18:34,365 --> 00:18:35,825 I'll ask him for an extension. 405 00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,869 He gave me one once. He likes me. 406 00:18:38,077 --> 00:18:39,370 I'll tell him I'm tutoring you 407 00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:41,205 and that you're getting the hang of it, 408 00:18:41,372 --> 00:18:42,812 but you just need a little more time. 409 00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:47,128 Wouldn't it just be easier to fill out this test? 410 00:18:48,046 --> 00:18:50,006 Let me talk to him, okay? 411 00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:51,214 Forget it. 412 00:18:51,257 --> 00:18:53,217 That dirtbag's not gonna get an extension. 413 00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:55,106 But, Mr. Kowchevski, I was working with him 414 00:18:55,303 --> 00:18:56,804 last night, and he's really learning. 415 00:18:57,013 --> 00:18:58,973 Daniel's the kind of student 416 00:18:59,182 --> 00:19:00,892 who needs more attention, you know? 417 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:02,393 No. Daniel's the kind of student 418 00:19:02,602 --> 00:19:04,062 who needs to just disappear. 419 00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:06,022 Excuse me? 420 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,191 Look, he wastes my time. 421 00:19:08,399 --> 00:19:10,234 He wastes class time. 422 00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:12,153 And now he's wasting your time. 423 00:19:12,362 --> 00:19:14,989 Well, no, he's not wasting anybody's time. 424 00:19:15,907 --> 00:19:18,076 I mean, come on, 425 00:19:18,284 --> 00:19:19,786 isn't it your job to teach him? 426 00:19:19,994 --> 00:19:21,371 Lindsay, I uh... 427 00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:25,875 I know Daniel is cute with his bedroom eyes 428 00:19:26,084 --> 00:19:28,628 and his stringy hair, 429 00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:30,046 but he's a loser. 430 00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:32,590 And losers pull down winners. 431 00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:37,053 Nowlll you're a smart girl. 432 00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:40,431 Don't let your hormones get in the way. 433 00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,351 Excuse me. 434 00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:49,982 Where's that test? 435 00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:52,652 In my jacket. Let's go. 436 00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:56,239 Ok. 74 times 23, put that in parentheses. 437 00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:59,075 And "x" equals 19y, 438 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,203 and "y" equals 8. 439 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,130 Damn, it's weird you can do this in your head. 440 00:20:06,332 --> 00:20:08,292 Like a brainiac or something. 441 00:20:08,501 --> 00:20:10,294 Thanks. 442 00:20:10,503 --> 00:20:12,422 Man, I cannot wait to see kowchevski's face 443 00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:14,215 when he hands this back to me. 444 00:20:14,424 --> 00:20:16,008 It's gonna blow his mind. 445 00:20:16,217 --> 00:20:18,177 Yeah, but, Daniel, this isn't over, right? 446 00:20:18,386 --> 00:20:19,846 I'm gonna tutor you, 447 00:20:20,054 --> 00:20:22,140 and you won't have to steal any more tests. 448 00:20:22,348 --> 00:20:23,348 No. Yeah. I know. 449 00:20:23,516 --> 00:20:24,684 No. I know. 450 00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:26,018 I'm gonna be, like, 451 00:20:26,227 --> 00:20:28,521 a guy with one of those things. 452 00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:30,148 An abacus? 453 00:20:32,358 --> 00:20:35,319 7y4x equals 9. 454 00:20:41,576 --> 00:20:42,785 Come on, people. 455 00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:44,912 This is just a test, not a death sentence. 456 00:20:45,121 --> 00:20:46,330 If you're prepared, 457 00:20:46,539 --> 00:20:48,124 you got nothin' to worry about. 458 00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:19,697 Lindsay. 459 00:21:19,906 --> 00:21:21,032 Congratulations. 460 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,408 Turns out your friend Daniel 461 00:21:22,617 --> 00:21:24,118 didn't need that extension after all. 462 00:21:24,327 --> 00:21:25,995 He got an “a" on the algebra test. 463 00:21:26,204 --> 00:21:29,415 Yeah, well, I told you I helped him study. 464 00:21:29,624 --> 00:21:31,584 Did you help him cheat? 465 00:21:35,213 --> 00:21:37,840 I've got an anonymous note that says you did. 466 00:21:38,049 --> 00:21:39,175 Well, I didn't. 467 00:21:39,383 --> 00:21:40,802 I didn't cheat. 468 00:21:41,427 --> 00:21:43,012 I think you did. 469 00:21:43,596 --> 00:21:45,640 We'll deal with this tomorrow. 470 00:21:45,848 --> 00:21:47,934 You're in a lot of trouble, younglady. 471 00:21:50,478 --> 00:21:52,480 Why were you talking to Mr. Kowchevski? 472 00:21:52,688 --> 00:21:53,688 Huh? 473 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,274 Are you joining the mathletes again? 474 00:21:56,692 --> 00:21:59,445 Jeez. Sorry I asked. 475 00:22:07,161 --> 00:22:08,621 Do you have popcorn? 476 00:22:08,830 --> 00:22:09,872 Bill, this is a porno. 477 00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:12,333 You don't eat popcorn during a porno. 478 00:22:12,542 --> 00:22:13,960 This is taking forever. 479 00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:16,045 Yeah, we could've made our own porno by now. 480 00:22:16,254 --> 00:22:18,148 Hey, do you want let the projector to eat the film 481 00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,507 and have that Daniel guy kill you? 482 00:22:19,674 --> 00:22:21,926 'Cause, I mean, we can do that, too. 483 00:22:23,094 --> 00:22:25,930 All right. There. 484 00:22:29,475 --> 00:22:30,476 Kill the lights. 485 00:22:30,685 --> 00:22:32,353 Aye, aye, sir. 486 00:22:34,605 --> 00:22:36,190 Here we go. 487 00:22:43,948 --> 00:22:45,366 Hello. 488 00:22:45,575 --> 00:22:47,827 How'd you like to come home to that every night? 489 00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:55,668 He's in good shape. 490 00:22:56,627 --> 00:22:58,421 Ooh! 491 00:22:58,629 --> 00:23:00,840 Oh, my god. 492 00:23:10,433 --> 00:23:11,517 Uh... 493 00:23:12,059 --> 00:23:15,187 This is... weird. 494 00:23:27,742 --> 00:23:30,912 That guy's got the best job in the world. 495 00:23:34,832 --> 00:23:38,127 Hey, you think there's any short porn stars? 496 00:23:50,890 --> 00:23:52,058 I'm so dead. 497 00:23:52,266 --> 00:23:53,516 What did you tell kowchevski? 498 00:23:53,517 --> 00:23:54,517 Nothing. 499 00:23:54,518 --> 00:23:55,936 Did you tell him that we cheated? 500 00:23:57,647 --> 00:24:00,399 He could see it all over my face. 501 00:24:00,608 --> 00:24:02,360 Look, then it's not over. 502 00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:03,986 Anonymous note? 503 00:24:04,195 --> 00:24:05,696 That means nothing. 504 00:24:07,073 --> 00:24:09,742 Look, as long as we don't, you know, admit it, 505 00:24:09,951 --> 00:24:11,577 they got Jack on us. 506 00:24:11,786 --> 00:24:13,412 You wanna deny it? 507 00:24:13,621 --> 00:24:15,081 Yeah, definitely. 508 00:24:15,289 --> 00:24:16,457 Daniel, I don't - 509 00:24:16,707 --> 00:24:17,959 listen, Lindsay. 510 00:24:18,334 --> 00:24:19,710 You're good at math. 511 00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:21,379 I'm good at this sort of thing. 512 00:24:21,545 --> 00:24:22,985 And when something like this happens, 513 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:25,341 you deny everything. 514 00:24:28,886 --> 00:24:30,096 But I'm not a good liar. 515 00:24:32,556 --> 00:24:35,142 Lindsay, I got you into this. 516 00:24:35,351 --> 00:24:36,727 I'm gonna get you out of this. 517 00:24:36,936 --> 00:24:38,771 But you gotta trust me. 518 00:24:38,980 --> 00:24:41,357 We're in this together. 519 00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:48,864 So, you want me to thread it up again? 520 00:24:49,073 --> 00:24:50,908 I'm goin' home. 521 00:24:57,123 --> 00:24:59,417 Are we gonna go to hell for this? 522 00:25:02,086 --> 00:25:04,463 I don't wanna go to hell. 523 00:25:08,884 --> 00:25:10,678 Hey, Sam. 524 00:25:10,886 --> 00:25:12,596 You hardly touched your chicken a la king. 525 00:25:12,805 --> 00:25:14,557 Aren't you hungry? 526 00:25:15,266 --> 00:25:16,559 Huh? 527 00:25:16,809 --> 00:25:18,769 Uh, no. 528 00:25:18,978 --> 00:25:23,899 I had a really big... Snack at Neal's. 529 00:25:24,150 --> 00:25:25,860 After school. 530 00:25:27,611 --> 00:25:28,779 May I be excused? 531 00:25:28,988 --> 00:25:30,948 Okay, but we're having 532 00:25:31,157 --> 00:25:33,784 chocolate coconut squares for dessert. 533 00:25:33,993 --> 00:25:35,661 Uh... 534 00:25:35,870 --> 00:25:37,204 Maybe later. 535 00:25:37,413 --> 00:25:39,290 All right, sweetie. 536 00:25:40,666 --> 00:25:42,918 - Of course. - He's at that stage, you know? 537 00:25:43,127 --> 00:25:44,146 Yes, I understand totally. 538 00:25:44,170 --> 00:25:45,296 All right. Goodbye. 539 00:25:45,504 --> 00:25:46,714 You went through that. 540 00:25:46,922 --> 00:25:49,050 You wouldn't eat a thing. 541 00:25:49,258 --> 00:25:52,219 That was Mr. Kowchevski on the phone. 542 00:25:53,471 --> 00:25:55,347 Apparently, my daughter is now a cheater. 543 00:25:55,556 --> 00:25:56,556 What? 544 00:25:56,599 --> 00:25:58,100 She cheated on a math test. 545 00:25:58,267 --> 00:25:59,685 Now she's facing suspension. 546 00:25:59,894 --> 00:26:01,937 My aunt Sally. Lindsay! 547 00:26:02,146 --> 00:26:04,023 It's not true. 548 00:26:04,231 --> 00:26:05,483 You're a good student. 549 00:26:05,691 --> 00:26:07,359 I don't understand why you would cheat. 550 00:26:07,568 --> 00:26:09,487 Well, she's hanging around with the wrong crowd. 551 00:26:09,695 --> 00:26:11,506 They're lying and cheating, and, next thing you know, 552 00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:12,406 she's Patty hearst, 553 00:26:12,407 --> 00:26:14,033 and she's got a gun to our head. 554 00:26:14,241 --> 00:26:15,910 But dad, I just told you it's not true. 555 00:26:16,118 --> 00:26:17,161 Maybe I don't believe you. 556 00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:19,955 You don't even ask me my side of the story? 557 00:26:20,206 --> 00:26:23,542 You just jump to conclusions and start yelling at me? 558 00:26:23,751 --> 00:26:25,544 God, that is so sick. 559 00:26:25,753 --> 00:26:28,005 You know what? Fine. 560 00:26:28,214 --> 00:26:29,799 Believe what you wanna believe. 561 00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:31,008 I don't even care. 562 00:26:31,217 --> 00:26:32,593 Whatever. 563 00:26:33,094 --> 00:26:35,679 You know, thanks for all the support. 564 00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:41,811 So then the guy says to her, 565 00:26:42,019 --> 00:26:45,147 “how do you think I rang the doorbell?" 566 00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:50,152 It's a pretty good one, huh? 567 00:26:57,785 --> 00:27:00,287 Lindsay, I need to talk to you. 568 00:27:02,164 --> 00:27:04,542 Some of the mathletes have been saying things 569 00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:06,335 about you. 570 00:27:06,544 --> 00:27:08,045 Yeah? Like what? 571 00:27:08,546 --> 00:27:10,422 There's a rumor going around 572 00:27:10,631 --> 00:27:12,007 that you cheated on a math test. 573 00:27:12,216 --> 00:27:14,051 I told them that's impossible. 574 00:27:14,260 --> 00:27:16,220 Even though Lindsay's not a mathlete anymore, 575 00:27:16,428 --> 00:27:19,056 she would never break the league's code of honor. 576 00:27:19,265 --> 00:27:21,267 Yeah? Well, guess what, Millie? 577 00:27:21,475 --> 00:27:23,227 I did cheat. 578 00:27:23,394 --> 00:27:25,187 I lied and I cheated, 579 00:27:25,396 --> 00:27:27,189 and then I lied some more. 580 00:27:31,318 --> 00:27:33,362 You're funny, Lindsay. 581 00:27:34,071 --> 00:27:35,906 I knew it wasn't true. 582 00:27:53,757 --> 00:27:56,635 So, anyone see “Dukes of Hazzard" last night? 583 00:28:00,806 --> 00:28:02,558 It was a good one. 584 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,354 Yeah. Boss hogg is really funny. 585 00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:11,692 Hey, what's going on, you guys? 586 00:28:15,654 --> 00:28:17,656 All righty, see you later. Bye. 587 00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:20,993 Hey, Sam. 588 00:28:22,286 --> 00:28:25,414 Uh, what do you want? 589 00:28:25,623 --> 00:28:27,374 Um, well, I was just wondering 590 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:29,542 if you could help me out with the ice cream booth, 591 00:28:29,543 --> 00:28:31,337 'cause Betsy can't make it to the carnival. 592 00:28:32,671 --> 00:28:34,757 Uh, uh, well, it turns out 593 00:28:34,965 --> 00:28:36,675 that I can't make it, either. 594 00:28:36,884 --> 00:28:38,677 Oh, that's too bad. 595 00:28:38,886 --> 00:28:40,888 Um, I'm a little busy right now. 596 00:28:42,223 --> 00:28:43,974 Yeah, okay. Sure. 597 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:47,811 I'll, uh... I'll see you later. 598 00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:55,110 Wasn't that great when the Dukes 599 00:28:55,361 --> 00:28:58,781 handcuffed Roscoe, Enos, and boss hogg together? 600 00:29:01,450 --> 00:29:03,786 That was really funny. 601 00:29:05,287 --> 00:29:06,996 Is there anything you want to tell me 602 00:29:06,997 --> 00:29:08,749 before the meeting this afternoon? 603 00:29:12,586 --> 00:29:13,837 I didn't cheat. 604 00:29:14,255 --> 00:29:15,631 You know, 605 00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:18,175 something like this happened to me 606 00:29:18,384 --> 00:29:19,760 when I was in high school. 607 00:29:19,969 --> 00:29:21,053 Got a minute? 608 00:29:21,762 --> 00:29:23,681 I guess. 609 00:29:24,974 --> 00:29:27,017 I felt bad for this kid 610 00:29:27,226 --> 00:29:28,852 Bruce conforti. 611 00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:31,897 So I'd kinda "help him" on biology tests. 612 00:29:32,773 --> 00:29:34,483 Okay, we cheated. 613 00:29:34,984 --> 00:29:36,819 But after a while, 614 00:29:37,069 --> 00:29:39,530 I realized he was the one being cheated, 615 00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:41,782 out of something priceless. 616 00:29:42,032 --> 00:29:43,701 Knowledge. 617 00:29:43,909 --> 00:29:46,287 So, one day, I just told him, 618 00:29:46,495 --> 00:29:48,414 “I'm not gonna do that anymore." 619 00:29:48,622 --> 00:29:49,622 And - 620 00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:51,417 he studied and he got all as his own? 621 00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:53,419 Close. 622 00:29:53,627 --> 00:29:56,130 He beat the living crap outta me. 623 00:29:58,132 --> 00:30:00,926 And when I say, "beat the living crap outta me," 624 00:30:01,135 --> 00:30:03,929 I mean, the living crap. 625 00:30:04,138 --> 00:30:06,849 All I did was help Daniel study. 626 00:30:09,268 --> 00:30:11,145 Okay. 627 00:30:11,353 --> 00:30:13,397 I trust you. 628 00:30:21,363 --> 00:30:22,448 Hey, Kim. 629 00:30:22,656 --> 00:30:24,283 Where's Daniel? 630 00:30:24,491 --> 00:30:26,243 I don't know. Beats me. 631 00:30:26,452 --> 00:30:28,454 We have a disciplinary meeting after school. 632 00:30:28,704 --> 00:30:30,914 Ugh. You nervous? 633 00:30:31,749 --> 00:30:33,709 You know, don't worry about it. 634 00:30:33,917 --> 00:30:36,211 Daniel gets out of stuff like this all the time. 635 00:30:38,047 --> 00:30:40,299 Well, I shouldn't feel bad, right? 636 00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,301 I mean, kowchevski is a jerk, 637 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,511 and I'm gonna tutor Daniel, and 638 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:45,846 he'll pass the class. 639 00:30:46,055 --> 00:30:48,182 I mean, everything's gonna work out. Right? 640 00:30:51,185 --> 00:30:52,728 I'm sorry. 641 00:30:52,936 --> 00:30:54,563 You think that you and Daniel 642 00:30:54,772 --> 00:30:56,398 are gonna be, like, study buddies? 643 00:30:56,607 --> 00:30:58,025 He wants to learn. 644 00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,526 And what about the next test? 645 00:30:59,735 --> 00:31:02,613 He'll just get the answers from somebody else. 646 00:31:02,821 --> 00:31:04,448 He always does. 647 00:31:04,656 --> 00:31:06,200 Aah! 648 00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:08,243 - Hey. - Hey! 649 00:31:08,452 --> 00:31:10,329 You ready to stick it to the man? 650 00:31:10,537 --> 00:31:12,081 Partners in crime? 651 00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:14,708 Give me five. 652 00:31:15,209 --> 00:31:17,252 Hey, don't leave me hangin'. 653 00:31:19,213 --> 00:31:21,006 All right. 654 00:31:32,184 --> 00:31:34,520 Another thing they do is the old cop trick. 655 00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:35,979 They'll get you alone, 656 00:31:36,188 --> 00:31:37,898 and they'll tell you I confessed. 657 00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:39,733 But don't believe 'em. 658 00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:41,318 'Cause I'll never confess, okay? 659 00:31:41,610 --> 00:31:42,986 Well, I'm going to. 660 00:31:43,404 --> 00:31:45,239 I can't keep lying. 661 00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:46,240 What? Why not? 662 00:31:46,448 --> 00:31:48,534 What is this, some kind of game to you? 663 00:31:48,742 --> 00:31:50,744 You already got me to cheat 664 00:31:50,953 --> 00:31:52,746 and to lie to my parents and to Mr. Rosso. 665 00:31:52,955 --> 00:31:53,705 I mean - 666 00:31:53,914 --> 00:31:55,749 I know, but why stop now? 667 00:31:55,958 --> 00:31:57,251 We're almost home free. 668 00:31:57,459 --> 00:32:00,295 All right. Lindsay. Lindsay, I understand. 669 00:32:00,504 --> 00:32:03,215 You care about your grades and your transcript. 670 00:32:04,550 --> 00:32:06,135 But if you get suspended, 671 00:32:06,343 --> 00:32:08,637 it goes on your transcript. 672 00:32:08,846 --> 00:32:10,889 Then you really will be screwed. 673 00:32:12,099 --> 00:32:13,851 You're manipulating me. 674 00:32:14,184 --> 00:32:15,269 What? 675 00:32:15,477 --> 00:32:17,271 You're manipulating me. 676 00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:19,398 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 677 00:32:19,606 --> 00:32:21,567 And, you know, it's really hard to say no to you, 678 00:32:21,775 --> 00:32:23,193 but I have to. I'm sorry. 679 00:32:23,402 --> 00:32:24,944 I can't go in there and lie. 680 00:32:24,945 --> 00:32:25,945 I'm not going to. 681 00:32:26,029 --> 00:32:27,406 - Okay, fine. Don't lie. - What? 682 00:32:27,614 --> 00:32:30,242 No, let's go in there, and we'll tell 'em what we did. 683 00:32:30,451 --> 00:32:32,202 What's the difference? 684 00:32:32,411 --> 00:32:33,871 You'll get a nice slap on the wrist, 685 00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:36,498 and I'll get, what, suspended? Expelled? 686 00:32:36,707 --> 00:32:38,917 That is not fair, Daniel. 687 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:42,254 What do you think, I want to be terrible at school? 688 00:32:42,463 --> 00:32:44,047 You think I like it? 689 00:32:44,756 --> 00:32:46,216 I wish I was as smart as you. 690 00:32:46,425 --> 00:32:48,844 I wish it all came easy to me. 691 00:32:49,052 --> 00:32:50,762 But it doesn't. 692 00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:55,309 You know, when I was... When I was in sixth grade, 693 00:32:55,517 --> 00:32:57,644 they told us when we got to junior high, 694 00:32:57,853 --> 00:32:59,480 we'd be either in track one, 695 00:32:59,688 --> 00:33:01,648 track two, or track three. 696 00:33:01,857 --> 00:33:03,442 Track one's the smart kids, 697 00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:04,943 track two's the normal kids, 698 00:33:05,152 --> 00:33:07,529 track three is the dumb kids. 699 00:33:08,447 --> 00:33:10,282 And what do you think I got? 700 00:33:13,035 --> 00:33:15,037 How do you think it feels 701 00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:17,039 to be told you're dumb 702 00:33:17,956 --> 00:33:19,875 when you're 11 years old? 703 00:33:23,629 --> 00:33:25,422 You are not dumb. 704 00:33:27,925 --> 00:33:30,385 I just wanted to prove him wrong. 705 00:33:30,594 --> 00:33:32,137 Just once. 706 00:33:34,223 --> 00:33:36,517 Even if I am cheating. 707 00:33:39,853 --> 00:33:41,104 “If a pregnant woman has sex, 708 00:33:41,313 --> 00:33:43,398 can the baby get... poked?“ 709 00:33:45,234 --> 00:33:46,735 Hey. Hey. Hyenas! 710 00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:48,129 Can I get through one question 711 00:33:48,153 --> 00:33:49,905 without you guys gettin' hysterical on me? 712 00:33:50,113 --> 00:33:51,323 Come on. Uh... listen, 713 00:33:51,532 --> 00:33:53,824 sex is perfectly safe for the fetus. 714 00:33:53,825 --> 00:33:55,244 It's, uh it's not gonna come out 715 00:33:55,410 --> 00:33:57,411 with dents on its head like a golf ball or something, 716 00:33:57,412 --> 00:33:58,871 I mean, dellage got poked in the eye. 717 00:33:58,872 --> 00:34:00,225 But what are you gonna do? 718 00:34:00,249 --> 00:34:02,334 I'm kiddin'. I'm kiddin', dellage. 719 00:34:05,003 --> 00:34:08,048 Listen. Chapter 13 in the text tomorrow for a pop quiz. 720 00:34:08,257 --> 00:34:10,300 Whoop! You didn't hear it from me. 721 00:34:10,509 --> 00:34:11,677 Hey, uh, Sam? Sam? 722 00:34:11,885 --> 00:34:13,679 Could I talk to you for a minute? 723 00:34:16,473 --> 00:34:18,141 In my office? 724 00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:19,893 Sure. 725 00:34:20,352 --> 00:34:22,479 When I was goin' through these questions, 726 00:34:22,688 --> 00:34:25,482 I was a little disturbed by yours. 727 00:34:25,691 --> 00:34:27,901 H... how did you know which one was mine? 728 00:34:28,110 --> 00:34:31,613 I thought, I thought it was anonymous. 729 00:34:32,197 --> 00:34:34,491 You're the only one with “Star Trek" notebook paper. 730 00:34:34,700 --> 00:34:36,034 Oh. 731 00:34:36,243 --> 00:34:39,162 Where'd you find out about this activity? 732 00:34:40,163 --> 00:34:41,290 Uh... 733 00:34:44,459 --> 00:34:46,169 I saw a movie. 734 00:34:47,087 --> 00:34:48,338 Oh, I see. 735 00:34:51,466 --> 00:34:53,218 Well, you know, 736 00:34:53,427 --> 00:34:55,220 in movies like that, 737 00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:58,181 they... they sensationalize certain things. 738 00:34:58,974 --> 00:35:00,350 But in reality, 739 00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:02,477 those things don't usually happen. 740 00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:06,607 You know what I'm tryin' to say? 741 00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:10,193 All right. I'm gonna tell you the truth. 742 00:35:10,402 --> 00:35:11,653 Plain language. But listen, 743 00:35:11,862 --> 00:35:14,865 you can't tell anybody we had this conversation. 744 00:35:15,073 --> 00:35:16,408 Your permission slip for sex ed 745 00:35:16,617 --> 00:35:18,159 doesn't cover this stuff. 746 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,579 I could get in a lot of trouble for what I'm gonna tell you. 747 00:35:20,746 --> 00:35:21,913 All right? 748 00:35:23,624 --> 00:35:24,875 Okay. 749 00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:26,835 Fair enough. 750 00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:33,091 Certain men, uh, not me. 751 00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:26,520 Huh? Torture over. 752 00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:28,021 We're done. 753 00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:31,024 But just... just I mean, 754 00:36:31,233 --> 00:36:33,402 those movies, it's not reality. 755 00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:34,861 Okay, if it was reality, 756 00:36:35,070 --> 00:36:36,196 I'd be freaked out myself. 757 00:36:37,698 --> 00:36:39,199 Uh, thank you, Mr. Fredricks. 758 00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:40,200 No problem. 759 00:36:40,409 --> 00:36:42,619 All right. Get outta here, cowboy. 760 00:36:42,828 --> 00:36:45,664 Uh, I - I have just one more question. 761 00:36:45,872 --> 00:36:47,082 What is it? 762 00:36:47,290 --> 00:36:49,167 Uh, could you explain this joke to me? 763 00:36:49,376 --> 00:36:52,546 So, there's this guy with no arms and no legs... 764 00:37:00,512 --> 00:37:02,764 If you want to tell the truth, it's cool. 765 00:37:03,348 --> 00:37:04,516 Whatever you want. 766 00:37:06,059 --> 00:37:08,395 Daniel, let's just stick to our story. 767 00:37:09,062 --> 00:37:10,230 Okay. 768 00:37:11,398 --> 00:37:12,858 When we get in there, 769 00:37:13,066 --> 00:37:15,152 let me handle it. Okay? 770 00:37:19,197 --> 00:37:21,450 Well, I'm cheesed off right now, and I don't care. 771 00:37:21,658 --> 00:37:23,285 Just try to keep your temper. 772 00:37:23,493 --> 00:37:24,911 Hi. We're Lindsay Weir's parents. 773 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:26,329 Uh, mom, dad. 774 00:37:26,538 --> 00:37:27,581 What are you doing here? 775 00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,916 Oh. Honey, we... 776 00:37:30,125 --> 00:37:32,711 We felt terrible about last night. 777 00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:34,504 You've always been truthful with us, 778 00:37:34,713 --> 00:37:36,173 so we never should've doubted you. 779 00:37:36,381 --> 00:37:38,258 Nobody falsely accuses my daughter! 780 00:37:38,467 --> 00:37:40,010 Honey. Shh. 781 00:37:40,218 --> 00:37:41,928 It's okay. I mean, it happens. 782 00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:43,888 Not to members of this family, it doesn't! 783 00:37:44,973 --> 00:37:48,018 I'm gonna give this kowchevski joker a piece of my mind. 784 00:37:48,226 --> 00:37:50,562 Your father even closed the store. 785 00:37:52,731 --> 00:37:55,275 Now, let's be patient and try and hear everyone out. 786 00:37:55,484 --> 00:37:56,735 Let's be a team. 787 00:37:56,943 --> 00:37:59,279 We don't actually know that anyone cheated. 788 00:37:59,488 --> 00:38:00,488 I do. 789 00:38:00,906 --> 00:38:02,282 Well, fine. Unfortunately, 790 00:38:02,491 --> 00:38:04,242 an anonymous note isn't sufficient proof. 791 00:38:04,493 --> 00:38:06,244 There was no note. 792 00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:07,453 There's no note? 793 00:38:07,621 --> 00:38:10,165 No. I use this as a ploy sometimes 794 00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:11,500 to get a confession. 795 00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:13,428 How do you expect to have real relationships 796 00:38:13,502 --> 00:38:15,212 with these kids if you're lying to them? 797 00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:16,880 Let me tell you something. 798 00:38:17,088 --> 00:38:19,508 I knew kids like desario in Vietnam. 799 00:38:19,925 --> 00:38:22,427 Those were the kind of kids that got you killed. 800 00:38:22,886 --> 00:38:25,305 Everyone's here! 801 00:38:25,847 --> 00:38:28,183 And if she said she didn't help this kid cheat, 802 00:38:28,391 --> 00:38:29,391 then she didn't! 803 00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:30,852 She tutored him, and it worked. 804 00:38:31,061 --> 00:38:32,461 Yes. You shouldn't be punishing her. 805 00:38:32,646 --> 00:38:34,366 You should be paying her for doing your job. 806 00:38:34,397 --> 00:38:35,649 Mr. Weir, uh, Harold, 807 00:38:35,857 --> 00:38:37,692 it's recently come to my attention 808 00:38:37,901 --> 00:38:40,237 that there was no anonymous note written. 809 00:38:40,445 --> 00:38:41,822 There was no note? 810 00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:43,365 No. It was a fraud. 811 00:38:43,573 --> 00:38:45,909 - I - I apologize. - See? I told you. 812 00:38:46,117 --> 00:38:47,660 But we're still not entirely convinced 813 00:38:47,661 --> 00:38:48,702 these two didn't cheat. 814 00:38:48,703 --> 00:38:49,496 Oh, god. 815 00:38:49,497 --> 00:38:50,872 So you want to punish my daughter, 816 00:38:51,081 --> 00:38:52,122 but you have no proof? 817 00:38:52,123 --> 00:38:53,333 Look, Mr. Weir, 818 00:38:53,542 --> 00:38:55,001 it should've never come to this. 819 00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:56,419 I've talked to Lindsay. 820 00:38:56,628 --> 00:38:58,087 I know she didn't do anything. 821 00:38:58,088 --> 00:39:01,591 Daniel, did you cheat on this test? 822 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,426 - Good. 823 00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:05,387 - Then I'm satisfied. - You're satisifed? 824 00:39:05,595 --> 00:39:07,263 - I'm not satisfied. - Give it up, frank. 825 00:39:07,264 --> 00:39:08,889 - It's over. - What is going on here? 826 00:39:08,890 --> 00:39:10,140 I took off work for this? 827 00:39:10,141 --> 00:39:11,350 I apologize for the inconvenience. 828 00:39:11,351 --> 00:39:12,643 No, no, no. Hold on a second. 829 00:39:12,644 --> 00:39:14,396 I've got an idea. 830 00:39:14,604 --> 00:39:16,815 I have the algebra test that Daniel took. 831 00:39:17,023 --> 00:39:19,401 If he can do the first problem, 832 00:39:19,609 --> 00:39:21,903 I will not only get down on my hands and knees 833 00:39:22,112 --> 00:39:24,865 and beg everyone in this room for forgiveness, 834 00:39:25,407 --> 00:39:27,033 but I'll quit. 835 00:39:27,242 --> 00:39:28,702 I will resign. 836 00:39:28,910 --> 00:39:30,495 I'll never teach again. 837 00:39:30,704 --> 00:39:32,371 That'd be a start. 838 00:39:32,372 --> 00:39:33,373 I already took the test. 839 00:39:33,582 --> 00:39:35,083 You can't make me take it again. 840 00:39:35,292 --> 00:39:36,835 Yes, I can. 841 00:39:37,377 --> 00:39:39,379 Come on, Daniel, one problem 842 00:39:39,588 --> 00:39:41,381 and this all goes away. 843 00:39:44,467 --> 00:39:45,467 Come on, son. 844 00:39:45,635 --> 00:39:47,137 Go ahead, Daniel. 845 00:39:54,769 --> 00:39:55,854 Okay. 846 00:39:58,690 --> 00:40:01,735 I just need to use the quadratic formula. 847 00:40:06,197 --> 00:40:07,240 See? 848 00:40:07,449 --> 00:40:08,700 Look at him go. 849 00:40:23,298 --> 00:40:24,841 Hey, Sam. 850 00:40:25,342 --> 00:40:27,177 Oh. Hi, Cindy. 851 00:40:29,846 --> 00:40:33,475 I'm sorry if I was acting weird at lunch. 852 00:40:34,976 --> 00:40:36,394 Were you acting weird? 853 00:40:38,188 --> 00:40:39,773 Well, anyways, 854 00:40:39,981 --> 00:40:43,151 uh, it turns out that I can go to the carnival. 855 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,527 So, I mean, if you don't... 856 00:40:44,736 --> 00:40:47,864 If you still don't have a scooper, I'm available. 857 00:40:48,073 --> 00:40:50,158 Well, jeanine already said that she was gonna. 858 00:40:50,367 --> 00:40:51,367 Okay. 859 00:40:51,576 --> 00:40:53,703 But, hey, we can always use another scooper. 860 00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:56,206 And, look. Grab a brush. 861 00:40:57,958 --> 00:40:59,209 Thank you. 862 00:41:03,380 --> 00:41:05,548 So, what time should I be there? 863 00:41:05,757 --> 00:41:08,176 Well, I don't know. It starts at, like, noon, 864 00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:09,928 so maybe you should come at 11:00. 865 00:41:10,136 --> 00:41:12,263 A.M.? P.M.? 866 00:41:15,225 --> 00:41:16,225 12 noon. 867 00:41:16,309 --> 00:41:18,478 No. Sam. 868 00:41:21,398 --> 00:41:23,817 He's got a problem, that's all. 869 00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:32,158 What is that? 870 00:41:33,743 --> 00:41:37,205 That is a student that Mr. Rosso believes in. 871 00:41:37,414 --> 00:41:39,958 Uh, led zeppelin is actually the name 872 00:41:40,166 --> 00:41:41,418 of a popular rock band. 873 00:41:41,626 --> 00:41:42,836 I know who led zeppelin is! 874 00:41:43,003 --> 00:41:44,421 Now what the hell's goin' on here? 875 00:41:44,629 --> 00:41:46,130 Are you kidding us with this crap? 876 00:41:46,131 --> 00:41:47,923 - Lindsay, you lied to us? - Mom, I didn't - 877 00:41:47,924 --> 00:41:49,764 do you have any idea how much money I'm losing? 878 00:41:49,926 --> 00:41:51,845 Look, don't blame Lindsay. 879 00:41:53,263 --> 00:41:55,056 It's not her fault. 880 00:41:56,016 --> 00:41:57,183 It's mine. 881 00:41:57,392 --> 00:41:58,632 She was just tryin' to help me. 882 00:41:58,810 --> 00:42:00,603 Nobody else ever does. 883 00:42:00,812 --> 00:42:01,855 I mean, what do you think, 884 00:42:02,063 --> 00:42:03,398 I want to be terrible at school? 885 00:42:03,606 --> 00:42:05,483 You think I like it? 886 00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:07,777 I wish I was smart, you know? 887 00:42:07,986 --> 00:42:10,488 I wish it all came easy to me, but it doesn't. 888 00:42:11,364 --> 00:42:14,159 You know, when I was in sixth grade, 889 00:42:14,367 --> 00:42:16,452 they told us when we got to junior high, 890 00:42:16,453 --> 00:42:17,870 we'd be either in track one, 891 00:42:17,871 --> 00:42:19,956 track two, or track three. 892 00:42:20,165 --> 00:42:21,249 Track one's the smart kids. 893 00:42:21,458 --> 00:42:23,376 Track two's the normal kids. 894 00:42:23,585 --> 00:42:26,421 Track three's the dumb kids. 895 00:42:26,629 --> 00:42:28,965 And what do you think I got? 896 00:42:29,174 --> 00:42:32,385 How do you think it feels to be told that you're dumb 897 00:42:32,594 --> 00:42:35,305 in ink when you're 11 years old? 898 00:42:39,267 --> 00:42:42,312 I mean, where are you supposed to go from there? 899 00:43:00,246 --> 00:43:01,831 Be cool. 900 00:43:04,584 --> 00:43:06,878 Look. She's as high as a kite! 901 00:43:07,087 --> 00:43:08,463 My daughter is not high! 902 00:43:08,671 --> 00:43:10,256 Harold, what is going on? 903 00:43:10,465 --> 00:43:12,008 I - I thinks it's a nervous reaction... 904 00:43:12,217 --> 00:43:13,592 I don't know what's happening. 905 00:43:13,593 --> 00:43:14,927 To a tense situation. I don't - 906 00:43:18,139 --> 00:43:20,183 - Cheese and crackers. - He's track three! 907 00:43:20,391 --> 00:43:21,768 Lindsay, what's going on?! 908 00:43:21,976 --> 00:43:23,853 Will you stop laughing? 909 00:43:24,062 --> 00:43:26,105 - You started all this. - No, I did not start all this! 910 00:43:26,106 --> 00:43:27,506 - Yes, you did. - Yes, sir, you did. 911 00:43:27,690 --> 00:43:30,110 This school is the wrong school for my daughter! 912 00:43:30,318 --> 00:43:32,319 I asked him to do one question. 913 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:33,946 You do not know what you're talking about! 914 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:35,406 She's a track one girl!