J“
I I've been run down.
I I've been lied to.
I I don't know why
j“ I let that mean woman make me a fool.
J“ she took all my money, yeah.
J“ wrecked my new car.
I now she's with one of my good-time buddies.
J' they're drinkin' in some crosstown bar.
I sometimes I feel,
I sometimes I feel
I like I've been down.
- Hey. - Hey.
I was just coming to look for you.
Wow, you look beautiful.
- Thanks. - Come on.
Hey, guys.
- Hey. - What you guys doin'?
Nothing, I'm just hangin' out with linds.
Are you guys, like, going out or what?
Hey, come on.
I don't kiss and tell.
Cool, man.
That's great.
Yeah, Nick!
Grab me a piece!
Shut up, man. Get outta here.
I'm sorry about that.
J“ I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation.
J“ livin' in the past, it's a new generation.
J“ a girl can do what she wants to do
I and that's what I'm gonna do.
I and I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation.
I oh, no, no, no,
I not me.
J“ whah! No!
J“ no, no, no, no,
I not me.
J“ me, me, me, me.
J“ I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation.
J“ I've never been afraid of any deviation.
J“ and I don't really care if you think I'm strange.
J“ I ain't gonna change.
I and I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation.
You remember those guys from the band “dimension"?
They found a drummer.
Aw, really?
I heard he dropped his stick soloing on “black dog"
at, like, their first gig though.
I'm not jealous.
I'm really not.
I'm glad I bombed the audition,
because, you know, if I hadn't...
Then we wouldn't have kissed, hmm?
Well, I should... Go to study hall.
I have to cram for my English quiz.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Oh, man.
Come here.
Lindsay...
You just kissed Nick!
Yeah, so?
Are you going out with him?
We haven't gone on a real date or anything.
It's just that...
Well, we were hanging out the other day,
and he was kinda depressed,
and we kissed.
It's not... it's no big deal.
What? You have a boyfriend.
Yeah, but Tommy goes to church!
Nick is a freak!
So what?
So this...
Freaks only date freak girls.
And you're not a freak girl.
How do you know?
'Cause freaks go all the way.
Millie, you've no idea what you're talking about.
What about Patty filker?
She's a freak girl.
And she has a baby!
But I guess that's no big deal either.
Millie, mind your own business, okay?
Hurry up, I don't want to be late for bio.
Why? What is the big deal?
Well, yesterday I was late, and everyone looked at me.
Hi, Sam.
Oh, hi, Cindy. How are you?
Ho ho, hey, merv Griffin!
Nice interview.
Come on back, Lindsay.
Is there something wrong?
No. Just checkin' in with my good friend Lindsay Weir.
Anything wrong with that?
I guess not.
So how's everything going?
Classes keeping you interested?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, have you checked out the new rush album?
I've gotta say it rocks pretty heavily,
and that's comin' from a guy who's seen Hendrix live.
Yeah, I—I heard it's pretty good.
I understand you and Nick andapolous
are gettin' pretty tight.
How's that goin'?
Mr. Rosso, Nick and I are just friends.
That's all.
Hey, no need to explain anything to me.
I got it on in a Van at Woodstock,
so I'm not judgin' anybody.
I just want you to know
what you're getting yourself into.
I mean, when you're a teenager,
your emotions are running high.
It's easy to get confused.
I want you to have this.
Oh, my god!
Come on! Don't let the pamphlet freak you out.
There's some good stuff in there.
It's just that you've got to be careful these days.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Do you?
I thought I knew, too.
Until one night, I was checkin' out this discotheque.
The one in the bowling alley on 15 mile.
I met this girl. She seemed really nice.
We danced a bit. I kissed her.
One thing led to another and...
Now I get sores on my lip once a month.
I have herpes.
It doesn't hurt that much, but believe me,
you don't want it!
Can I please go now?
I just blew your mind, didn't I?
No! Uh-uh. No, I just, um...
I don't want to be late for lunch.
Okay, okay. Just use your head, Lindsay.
That's all I ask.
You got it.
Man! Gordon reeks!
You think he ever takes a shower?
Maybe he takes baths instead.
My mom says that they don't really get you clean.
Yeah, you just sit in your own filth.
All right, let's settle down.
We've got a lot to do today.
We're going to be dissecting kittens.
Just trying to get your attention.
But you will be getting your lab partners today.
Uh, McKenna?
I hope I get to be paired up with Cindy.
Hey, what about me?
Please let it be Cindy.
Your lab partner will be Gordon crisp.
Bill, your partner will be Cindy Sanders.
Oh, how interesting.
Me and Cindy, you and Gordon.
Well, I better...
I better go sit next to my lab partner.
Well, there goes Cindy's grade point average.
Excuse me, madam.
May I take this seat?
Sure, have a seat.
All right, people, let's go.
Find your lab partner.
Remember, science waits for no man.
Oh, man.
Lindsay?
I think it's really great that you and Nick are goin' out.
Yeah, me too.
No, I mean it.
He's a great guy.
I give him a hard time, but, you know,
he's the man.
I just think it's really great you guys are goin' out.
He's a really great guy.
Yeah. I know.
Nick's a stud, you know?
I mean, he may not seem like it,
Mr. Dizario,
don't you have something to do?
Right, but I thought we were going to do that
after class, miss yeats.
Oh, be still, my beating heart.
How come you're not eating?
Ugh, this tuna salad smells like Gordon.
Yeah, Cindy smells, too.
Like flowers.
Did she say anything about me?
I—I—I don't know.
Her tongue was in my ear the whole time.
- Shut up! - Ow!
Now I'm gonna have to get Cindy
to come and kiss it and make it all better.
You guys are jerks!
_ohh! H|, Cindy.
Hi, Sam. Hey, Nate.
It's Neal...
Okay, so, bill, I was thinking,
we should probably get started on our lab assignment.
I have cheerleading practice at 3:00,
French club at 3:45,
but do you think you could come over at, like,
4:30?
To your house?
Mm-hmm.
I think—I think I could squeeze you in.
Great! I'll see you then.
Bye, Sam.
Cindy's house, 4:30.
Should I wear hai karate or old spice?
Definitely old spice.
Hey, check it out. Donkey basketball Saturday.
I love those things.
I think they're mean.
Oh, yeah, like the donkeys really give a care.
Well, how would you like some big fat teacher
sitting on your back while you had to run around a gym?
Yeah, how did your date with fredricks go?
Ooh!
You want to hang out Friday night?
Um, yeah.
Yeah? Cool.
Have you seen “the elephant man"?
The movie.
Oh, ohh!
The guy with— the deformed guy.
No, uh-uh, why?
Well, I was thinking
maybe we could go see it.
Come on, people, the bell has rung.
Quit your dilly-dallying and get to class!
Lord and lady skips-a-lot,
come on, let's go!
Yes, ma'am— I mean, sir.
I was actually—ohh...
I was actually thinking, um...
We could hang out at my house Friday night.
My parents are going out,
and my brothers aren't going to be around.
So I thought, um...
I thought we could just hang out or something...
Come on, get the lead out! Let's go!
So Friday night at my house?
Uhh...
Romeo and Juliet.
Come on. Last one in class,
first one on welfare.
It's your choice.
I like your room, Sam.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, whoa! Cool sheets!
“May the force be with you."
All right.
Okay, let's see here.
I already started on the plant cell diagram.
It's the animal stuff that's tricky.
Yeah, I know.
I couldn't tell what was going on under that microscope.
Could I borrow your pencil?
Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, sure.
There you go.
Here you go. Thanks.
Thanks.
What's the matter, Sam?
Oh, nothing! Nothing.
I know what's bugging you.
You didn't want to be lab partners with me.
You wanted to be with Cindy Sanders.
Yeah—yeah! How did you know?
It's obvious you like her.
It is?
Hey, do you think she likes me?
I don't know.
Cheerleaders are hard to read that way.
Oh.
You and Cindy would make a good couple.
I mean, she's popular and everything,
but she needs someone like you.
You'd be good for her.
Really?
Thanks, mom.
I'm so bad.
I can't do my homework without having a snack first.
Do you have chips or cookies?
No, I'm sorry.
My parents don't let us eat junk food.
Do you want to watch TV?
“Welcome back, kotter" is on.
Are you okay?
That's horshack, from the show.
Oh, well, I've never really seen it before, so...
What?!
Well, I don't really watch TV.
Except for “the muppet show."
I'm sorry, I've been hogging these.
Did you want something to drink?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'll go get some lemonade.
Stupid chair, always does that.
I'll be right back.
This is what you should do.
Find out her schedule and memorize it.
That way, you can bump into her and say hi.
Compliment her hair,
and the next time you run into her,
say, “hey, did you change your hair?"
Pretty soon, you'll have tons of stuff to talk about.
Good idea.
And join all her after-school clubs.
“A”, you'll get to see her more.
“B", you'll get to find out more about her interests,
and pretend they're your interests, too.
That makes sense.
And “c",
very important.
You can make sure she's not falling in love
with anyone else,
like your friend bill.
You think Cindy'll fall in love with bill?!
I don't know.
Being lab partners is like getting stranded
on a desert island.
You never know what might happen.
Hey, man, I heard Kim got an “a” on her world civ test.
- That's great. - Huh?
Oh, no, that's right.
That was my girlfriend.
Oh, that's really funny.
Ah, you know what, though?
Oh, man. Lindsay got detention
for flipping off her gym teacher.
Oh, no, that's right.
That was your girlfriend.
Ohh!
I heard Kim punched you in the chest really hard.
Oh, whoops. That was me!
Ohh!
That was really hard.
I'm telling you, she's abnormal.
She eats carrot sticks, and she likes miss piggy.
So what? The muppets are cool.
Yeah, Swedish chef is kinda cool,
but miss piggy's lame.
Look, professor honeydew is hysterical.
Cindy is not abnormal.
Yeah?
She cut the cheese.
Oh, my god!
That's not funny.
I heard it, man. I swear.
She blamed it on the chair,
but she cut the cheese.
Well, some chairs make weird noises!
What kind of a chair was it?
I don't know.
Vinyl?
Well, vinyl chairs always squeak.
It wasn't a squeak.
It was the sound of cheese being cut.
You know what?
I think you're making all of this up,
because you want me to stop liking her,
because you like her now.
What?!
Bill7
hey, guys, what's up?
Oh, hi, Cindy.
You changed your hair.
It just looks really flat today.
Oh, bill, I wanted to tell you.
I have a yearbook meeting after school,
but we can work on our lab assignment afterwards.
Oh, I can't wait.
Maybe this time, you can come over to my house.
Okay.
Oh, and by the way,
I finally got to see “welcome back, kotter."
You were right. Mr. Woodman is so funny.
Yeah, I'm tellin' ya,
that guy is totally underrated.
Lindsay, it's a test,
not a race.
And if it were a race, Millie already beat you.
Millie?
I need to talk to you.
Why?
I just do.
Remember when we used to love leif Garrett?
And we used to take my “dynamite" magazines out
and kiss his picture?
And we went to go see him at the state fair
and got all the way to the front row.
It turned out to be Jack albertson
from “chico and the man."
Oh, yeah.
That kinda sucked.
It wasn't so bad.
It was kinda funny.
Millie, I'm just saying
that we always dreamed of having a boyfriend,
and I think I finally have a boyfriend,
and I think he wants to have sex.
You can't have sex with Nick.
Once you do, you'll never be the same again.
Plus no one would want to marry you.
Why should they buy the cow
when they can get the milk for free?
Some of you will be happy to see
that after several complaints
I have eliminated "disco days" from the running.
Hey, Cindy.
Hey, Sam, I didn't know you were on yearbook.
Did you just join?
Uh... yeah.
I want to become more involved
in after-school activities.
That's cool.
Any article ideas?
Cindy?
Um, it's called “diary of a McKinley student."
It describes a high school student's experience.
Go ahead. Read it.
“September 3, 1980.
“Freshman year.
“Dear diary,
“high school. So cavernous.
“Cold, uninviting.
“Starting over. No identity.
“Everyone looking, everyone judging.
“Their eyes Pierce my soul.
“Aimless youth, all trapped together,
"but no one connecting.
“Education or isolation?
Class dismissed."
Okay.
Thank you, Sylvia plath.
Uh... it's a little dark.
We want to sell yearbooks, not tell the truth.
Okay.
It was just an idea.
Okay.
The next thing we need to talk about is ad sales.
Yes, I know. It's no fun.
It's not creative,
but if we don't sell the rest of this ad space by tomorrow,
we won't have enough money for printing.
Here's a list of the local merchants
we haven't hit yet.
Um, my dad owns a-1 sporting goods.
Great! You can start with his store.
Why don't you pair up with Cindy?
Sure.
Mr. Stoker, you pair up with Carl.
Can you believe we have to sell yearbook ads?
Yeah, that really sucks.
Hey, Lindsay.
I got something to show you.
What? What's up?
Somebody likes you, that's what's up.
I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
What's his name? What's he like?
I want to know everything, really.
He's just a friend.
A friend? Do I know him?
Well, open the card.
- Mama! - What? What?
Sweetie?
W-a-t-e.
My dad's store is right down the block.
Yeah? All right, great.
You know, I really liked what you wrote for the yearbook.
It was really cool.
I think Mr. Mainzer doesn't know what he's talking about.
Thanks.
And you know, you're right.
Being a freshman stinks.
I know, it's like everyone pigeonholes you
and expects you to act a certain way.
It's like if you're a cheerleader,
you're supposed to be in a good mood all the time.
Yeah, that must be tough.
I know!
It's like there are some days
when I'm just feeling a little bit cranky.
Like today.
I just got my period.
So what? Deal with it.
All right, thanks, Mike.
Oh, and good luck with that bomb shelter.
Thank you.
I thought you were going to help me out today.
Oh, yeah, I was at a yearbook meeting.
Yearbook? When the heck did you join that?
Uh, today.
This is my friend Cindy.
Hil nice to meet you.
Hello. Uh, look, Sam.
Now, look, you gotta put in your time.
I'm trying to teach you a work ethic here.
Now, if you want to buy those crazy micronaut things,
you're going to have to earn the money.
Oh, for cryin' out loud,
who mixed up the balls?
Um, you have a really nice store, Mr. Weir.
Dave, break up those boxes back there.
Uh, dad, Cindy and I...
Well, we're selling yearbook ads.
And 1/8 of a page is $25. Do you want to buy one?
1/8 for $25?!
Sam, that's highway robbery!
I can get a full page in a Sunday paper for a hundred.
But this is really important
that Cindy and I sell these.
Oh, well, tell you what.
Give me a full page.
Wow! Thank you, Mr. Weir.
No problem.
Sam is my best salesman, you know?
Really?
Okay, so we've got 16 more ads to sell,
and I think we should go to the big stores first
since they'll probably buy more space.
Yeah, but the small stores close earlier, so...
Oh, wait a minute now.
You're squandering your manpower.
What you gotta do is split up,
and, you know, take separate routes.
That way you can cover more ground.
Thank you.
But then again,
some of the greatest salesmen work in teams.
Yeah, maybe we should stick together.
Yeah, but we'll both finish sooner if we split up,
don't you think?
Yeah, I guess so.
Thank you, Mr. Weir.
See ya, dad.
Sir, don't open that bait.
So I saw Sam's yearbook partner at the store today.
Quite a cute little number.
- Hmm. - God, dad!
What? What's wrong with that?
She's cute.
Am I supposed to call her “Ms." or something?
See, Lindsay, Sam's not afraid to show off his girlfriend.
What's eating you?
Ah, just...
Lindsay has a boyfriend.
Oh, my god!
What?! Who?
Someone sent her a red Rose.
He must be some kind of Romeo.
Yeah, I'll say he is.
Who the hell is this joker?
He's just a friend.
Nobody who's "just a friend" sends a single Rose.
I know all about single roses.
I sent one to your mother,
and I know when and why I sent it.
Harold.
Lindsay, you can tell us who it is,
and we won't make a big deal out of it, all right?
Okay.
Okay, it's Nick.
- Nick?! - Nick?
It's not another one of those burn-outs.
Nick?
Was he the one that ate all my fruit roll-ups?
Well, you said he could have them.
No, I—I know.
Well, you'd better know right now
that your mother and I are not taking care of
some "wedlock" baby,
while you're off gallivanting at college.
Dad!
I'm warning you, Lindsay.
I absolutely forbid you from seeing this boy.
At least she didn't yell.
Honey.
See, you don't know what it's like
to have a daughter and want to protect her.
Well, I mean, you will someday.
But we'd like that day to be a long time from now.
We just want to be sure that this boy respects you, honey.
Trust me. I know what they're like.
I was one of them.
Ugh! He was.
I know, you find it hard to believe,
but I did some stupid things when I was young.
Honey.
Tell her about Korea.
Korea.
Well, one day,
I, uh, went into Seoul on a weekend pass
and went to this bar.
And I had a few too many.
And...
I followed a couple of my buddies to the...
Red-light district.
Your father's first time wasn't special,
and he's always regretted it.
It was the worst $5.00 I've ever spent.
And I wish I could get
that $5.00 back.
Ohh, come on! Please stop!
W-What your father is trying to say is...
That your virginity is a gift.
J“ he's tearin' you apart.
Ooh, every, every day.
Let's get out of here.
Hold on a second. I gotta find my smokes.
Did you take 'em?
Hey, man, we're goin' to des's tonight.
Are you coming?
No. Oh, hey.
No, actually, I'm hangin' out with linds.
Ohh, all right. Make it happen.
Oh, tonight's the night!
- Ooh! - Call me tomorrow, Lindsay.
I want to know everything that happens.
- So do I, Lindsay.
Keep yawnin' like that,
you're gonna dislocate your jaw.
Guys, wait up.
Hey, Sam, you know what Cindy said last night?
What, that she's in love with you?
That... that she thinks you're smart and funny
and you don't care if she cuts the cheese?
You know what, bill?
Why don't you just go out with her?
Why don't you marry her? I don't care anymore, okay?
I don't care. God!
I was gonna say she said she thought
you were the nicest guy in school.
Cindy said that?
No, wait. No, seriously.
You don't like Cindy?
No, man, I was just messin' with you.
Sam, bill's been in love with Melissa karpinski
ever since he stood behind her at the dairy queen.
She was wearing this halter top.
She is one foxy lady.
She doesn't cut the cheese.
Come on, everybody cuts the cheese.
Anyways Melissa karpinski is way out of your league.
She goes out with, like, the big football players.
- Ooh. - Hey.
I'm going to fill out soon.
You know my cousin Jeff?
He was a shrimp until he turned 16,
and then he got all tall and muscular,
in, like, a month.
Now he looks like the hulk.
You really think I'll fill out?
Yeah, not like me, though.
In three years, I'm going to be enormous.
Oh, yeah. Me, too. My dad is 6'3".
Hey, listen, you guys.
Why don't we go see “airplane" again on Saturday?
Surely you will.
Okay.
And don't call me Shirley.
Billy, have you ever seen
a grown man naked?
Hey, why don't we go ask Gordon to come with us?
But-ll
he smells.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
But he's really cool.
Maybe he doesn't even know he smells.
Are you gonna tell him?
Hey, Gordon.
Hey, uh, how's it going with you-know-who?
Did you join her clubs?
Yeah, yeah.
And we got to hang out, uh, sort of.
You know, she smells great.
It must be her shampoo,
or deodorant or something.
What kind of deodorant do you use?
I know I smell, Sam.
W-W-What are you talking about?
I may be smelly,
but I'm not stupid.
Okay, so...
What is that?
It's a medical condition.
It's called trimethylaminuria.
It's genetic.
Wow! Is there a cure?
Not yet, but research is progressing.
So you're going to be smelly
the rest of your life?
Mm-hmm.
But I don't mind.
Nice people don't care,
and it weeds out the jerks.
My mom says it's a gift.
You know...
Uh, Neal, bill, and I
are going to the movies Saturday night.
You want to come with us?
Okay.
I'll try not to stink up the joint.
Just kidding.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, Sam.
So how'd it go? Did you sell all your ads?
No, not really.
That's okay. No one else did except for me.
So I'm really glad that you joined the yearbook.
I had a lot of fun yesterday.
Yeah, me, too.
So anyways, what are you doing after school?
Well, is there another yearbook meeting?
Well, no, I was just going to go to sackie's,
and I was wondering if you wanted to come.
Don't touch the hair!
Stop it!
Yeah, yeah, I'll come.
Definitely. Sure.
Great.
All right, I better go sit down.
See you after school.
See ya.
“See you after school."
Shut up.
Thanks, Sam.
Look, are you sure you don't need any money?
Y-Yeah, I'm fine.
Mmm, I love bacon cheeseburgers.
Really?
I kinda expected you to like, you know,
healthy food, like carrots.
Yuck!
If I never saw another carrot again, it'd be too soon.
I mean, my parents never take us to sackie's.
That's why I have to sneak here after school.
Uh, want some?
Sure, thanks.
He's smiling and nodding because he wants me
to pass him the ball.
So I throw it to him,
and he ducks like a girl.
Do you know Todd schellinger?
Well, not personally.
But-ll
why?
I... I don't know.
He's kinda cute, don't you think?
I—I guess.
Okay, I've never really told anyone this before.
But I have, like, the hugest crush on him.
At last week's game,
he asked my friend Joe for my phone number.
Do you think that means he likes me?
He—he asked for your phone number?
Well, yeah, but...
I mean, he never called.
And every time I see him,
he acts like he doesn't even know I exist.
Well, maybe he's just shy.
You think?
I don't know.
It's, like, I'm always so nervous around him.
I never know what to say.
It's not like with you.
You're so easy to talk to.
You're just like my sister.
Thanks.
My god, did he just look at me?
Don't look.
Go, 90:9°: 90:9°!
Have a nice time, honey.
Don't stay out too late.
I won't. Bye.
Bye.
We need backup.
Hey, son.
Yeah?
Come on over here and join your mom and dad.
Why? What did I do?
Nothing, silly.
- Come on. - Get your butt over here.
“What did I do?"
Come on.
I have homework.
You can do it tomorrow.
Family time's more important.
Oh, hi!
You must have been right there.
Perfect timing.
Come on in.
I hope you like the moody blues.
Oh, yeah, they're really great.
I know, they're kind of wimpy,
but I think this song's okay.
Whose basketball trophies?
Yeah, they're mine. I actually used to play.
Ohh.
Well, why'd you quit?
They found a dime bag in my locker,
and then they kicked me off the team.
And then I just lost interest.
Oh, yeah. No, that one's actually for bowling.
I just what the truth is
j“ I can't say anymore.
Do you want to hang out downstairs for a while?
Whoa! Uh...
- Yeah. - Great.
I yes, I love you.
J“ ah.
I oh, how I love you.
Nick, what is all this?
Come here.
Sit down.
Lindsay...
This song says all the things
that I haven't been able to say to you.
It's a little corny.
But I mean it.
- J“ lady! - Lady.
I when you're with me...
When you're with me, I'm smiling.
Give me
All, all, all your love.
Your hands
build me up when I'm sinking.
Touch me
and my troubles all fade.
J“ lady!
You see, Lindsay,
nothing about you and me
should ever be rushed.
I made that mistake before.
But I'm not gonna make it with you.
Because we've got time.
We got all the time in the world.
And you know why?
I like a child who had grown.
'Cause you're my lady
of the morning.
Love shines
in your eyes.
Sparkling,
clear and lovely.
J“ you're my lady.
You're my lady.
J“ lady!
J“ turn me on when I'm lonely.
See, Lindsay,
we were made for each other.
You want to make out or something?
All guys want to make out.
But I just want to hold you.
J“ sparkling,
I clear and lovely.
J“ you're my lady.
What's better than this?
Can I have the ding dong?
Sure.
How was your date?
It was okay.
What'd you do?
Mom and dad made me watch TV with them all night.
They were weird.
Yeah, what else is new?
So—so is Nick, like, your boyfriend now?
I guess so.
But—but he likes you a lot, right?
Oh, yeah.
I wish Cindy liked me.
She likes you.
Yeah, like a friend.
Ooh. That's the worst.
I don't need another friend.
I already have two.
I mean, how many more friends does a guy need?
Hello?
Oh, hi, Cindy.
Todd called?
Yeah, it's great.
He said that?
Oh... no!
No, no, no, I'm not busy.
Tell me what else happened.