1
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:19,436
- Like to join us for a drink?
- Sorry, mates, I'm busy.

2
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:22,195
Tell me about your character,
'cause I am your biggest fan.

3
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:23,916
I'm busy.
I'm waiting for someone.

4
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,836
When you stage kiss, do you use
tongues or no tongues?

5
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,360
Look, you.

6
00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:30,076
I'm only having a joke!

7
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:33,580
Oh, look, my boyfriend's here.

8
00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:40,916
Oh, Mr. Kreed, hi.

9
00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,590
Hello, son.

10
00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:44,715
- Hello, baby.
- Hello.

11
00:00:44,739 --> 00:00:46,635
What are you doing out here?

12
00:00:46,659 --> 00:00:47,875
They threw me out
because of my mobile phone.

13
00:00:47,899 --> 00:00:49,716
Don't stand out here.
How many times have told you

14
00:00:49,740 --> 00:00:51,555
- it's full of scumbags?
- Sorry.

15
00:00:51,579 --> 00:00:53,475
Come over here.
I want to talk for a moment.

16
00:00:53,499 --> 00:00:54,499
What?

17
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,955
I've got something for you.
Here.

18
00:00:58,979 --> 00:01:03,419
- What's this?
- Well, it's a present.

19
00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:05,499
Baby.

20
00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:10,956
- What are you trying to say?
- What do you think?

21
00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:14,116
- Go on, say it.
- Yes, or no?

22
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:17,355
Do you want me to marry you?
Say it, come on.

23
00:01:17,379 --> 00:01:18,476
Yes, or no?

24
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,596
What do you mean?
Are you asking me to marry you?

25
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,835
- Yes, or no?
- Babe!

26
00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:24,836
I've got a bit of business now.
I'll be home about 11:00.

27
00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:26,596
I'll see you at home.
I won't be late.

28
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,516
Aren't we even gonna have
a glass of champagne together?

29
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:30,476
Tonight I will.
I've just gotta go.

30
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,435
- What are you doing?
- I love you to bits.

31
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:37,739
Don't hang around here,
they're all scumbags.

32
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,725
"Sleep like a baby."

33
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:49,150
"My little lady."

34
00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:56,740
"Dream till the sunrise."

35
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,740
"Creeps into your eyes."

36
00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:08,140
"Dream till the sunrise."

37
00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:11,200
"Turns on the day."

38
00:02:12,779 --> 00:02:16,619
"In the avenues and alleyways."

39
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:21,156
"While you sleep there's
a whole world coming alive."

40
00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:22,956
"Abel and his brother."

41
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:24,756
"Fighting one another."

42
00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:27,155
"In and out of every dive."

43
00:02:27,179 --> 00:02:31,019
"In the avenues and alleyways."

44
00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:35,395
"Where the strong and the quick
alone can survive."

45
00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:37,155
"Look around the jungle."

46
00:02:37,179 --> 00:02:38,756
"See the rough and tumble."

47
00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:42,115
"Listen to the squealer cry."

48
00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:44,196
"Then a little later."

49
00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:46,075
"In the morning paper."

50
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,699
"Read about the way
he died."

51
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:53,516
When I was a child
I was terrified of insects.

52
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:58,145
Horrible, crawling,
foul things, especially flies.

53
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:03,676
But my best friend, Jude,
taught me how to conquer this fear.

54
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:07,716
First we caught them,
then we touched them.

55
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:12,835
And before long, we could hold them,
even pull their wings off.

56
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:18,620
Jude explained it wasn't an act of cruelty,
it was an act of discipline.

57
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:23,876
When I pulled those wings off,
I realized he was right.

58
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:26,716
He showed me you can gain
strength through violence.

59
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:32,260
And with power and control
you can do anything.

60
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,940
Jude's uncle was Ray Kreed.

61
00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:40,076
He taught him
to never back down.

62
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:44,316
Always look them in the eye
and keep going until you've won.

63
00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:49,315
So as things turned out,
Jude became a somebody.

64
00:03:49,339 --> 00:03:54,714
And me, I became a courier.

65
00:03:57,460 --> 00:04:01,476
See, the thing is,
another 10 stretch, right,

66
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,156
you could be trainee supervisor.

67
00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:08,140
I can get you
right under my wing.

68
00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:16,400
Another five years on
from then... who knows?

69
00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:21,205
You could be sitting where I'm sitting,
doing what I'm doing.

70
00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:28,316
What you gotta do... look at
me when I'm talking to you, Jon,

71
00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,436
because I mean this.
This is coming from the heart.

72
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:33,836
What I'm telling you... it's not
just something that comes up.

73
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,196
It takes years of experience.

74
00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:38,116
In 20 years, you're going
to be sitting here

75
00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:40,755
telling some young pup
the same thing.

76
00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:45,339
I made a decision
to get out of my rut.

77
00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:51,116
It's funny, isn't it,
how everyone wants to be somebody else?

78
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:53,836
So, what do you think?
I mean...

79
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,356
I don't know, mate, 20 years.
You know, I love you, but no.

80
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:01,956
My friends are my friends
and my family is my business

81
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:03,196
and I never mix them,
I never have.

82
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,196
I know, and I've never
asked you about this...

83
00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:06,795
You've never asked me because
that's always been the case.

84
00:05:06,819 --> 00:05:11,316
Exactly, and I know I didn't want
to encroach on that side of your life,

85
00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:14,755
but I think, I honestly think
that this would work.

86
00:05:14,779 --> 00:05:17,076
And I think if you gave me
a chance to put it to your uncle

87
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,996
then he'd go for it, I do.

88
00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:23,156
When I looked at Jude
I realized what a rut I was in.

89
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,236
He'd gone to the best schools.

90
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:28,916
He worked for his uncle,
the biggest gangster in London.

91
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,690
He had a life.

92
00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:32,860
Me?

93
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,970
I was in hell.

94
00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:42,836
First time I saw him, there he was,
you know, London's biggest gangster,

95
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:45,735
singing on his karaoke.

96
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:51,405
Well, that's another thing about gangsters,
we're all performers.

97
00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:55,820
"Oh, yeah, come on, people."

98
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,380
"Oh, yeah."

99
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:03,716
"If they tell me
of a pie up in the sky."

100
00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:07,220
"Waiting for me when I die."

101
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:12,236
"But between the day
you're born and when you die."

102
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:16,236
"You never seem to hear
even no cry."

103
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:20,156
"So as sure as
the sun will shine"

104
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:24,236
"I'm gonna get my share,
what's mine."

105
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,236
"And then the harder
they come..."

106
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:31,116
- Hey, how are you?
- All right. Who's your mate?

107
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,596
That's Jon.

108
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,356
His hair's a bit short.

109
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:36,716
Anyone told you you look like
"Data" out of "Star Trek"?

110
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:39,196
Very sharp.
He's sharp, ain't he?

111
00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:42,436
Does he want to go in?
He does though, doesn't he?

112
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:46,476
"Oppressors are trying
to keep me down."

113
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:50,156
"Trying to drag me underground."

114
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:53,636
"And they think they got
this battle won..."

115
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:56,876
I was pulling me plum under the
sink and she walked in and caught me.

116
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,036
So since that day
I couldn't get it up.

117
00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:01,316
That's what it is, then.
It's a guilt trip, ain't it?

118
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:03,996
Well, she caught you...
having a Jodrell...

119
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,836
Now you've got all guilt
on your hands.

120
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,756
I know. It's very embarrassing.
I was embarrassed.

121
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:13,580
"...the harder they fall
one and all..."

122
00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:21,676
Two pints and a packet
of salted nuts for me. Cheers.

123
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,196
Where is he?

124
00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:25,196
- That's him.
- " Here we go, big boy..."

125
00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:27,916
- What, singing?
- Yeah.

126
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:30,836
- " Come on, people..."
- He's pretty good, isn't he?

127
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:33,356
- Yeah. When can I talk to him?
- After the singing.

128
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,636
"Gonna keep on fighting
for the things I want..."

129
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:38,956
After the entire karaoke.
Nothing comes before karaoke.

130
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,156
All right.

131
00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:43,996
There's only two things
that have scared me in life:

132
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:47,540
Flies... and Ray.

133
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:54,460
Well, I mean, it's quite simple really,
'cause I work as a courier.

134
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:57,036
We have access to a lot
of credit cards.

135
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,436
That's what I've mostly been
delivering these days.

136
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:05,196
They come through all the time,
so obviously, we can get to the cards.

137
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,196
Now, there is a risk
of someone cottoning on,

138
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,996
getting a pinch,
but I'm prepared to take that risk.

139
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,236
Also, we can remove
the cards from the packages,

140
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,196
deliver the packages intact,
and still get the...

141
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:19,340
Yeah, I know how it works.

142
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,340
Come here, Jude.

143
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,630
Jonny Crow?

144
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:41,116
He's a bit soft on the family.
He's well impressed by it.

145
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:43,436
I want to give him this chance.
I need this chance.

146
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:45,316
Look, if he gets nicked
and it comes back on us,

147
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:48,356
they start meddling themselves
in our business. All right?

148
00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:50,716
Now, he ain't family.

149
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:54,276
I love you, like my son...
I don't know him.

150
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,556
I know you don't.
You gotta take that from me.

151
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,356
20 years I have known him...
nearly 20 years!

152
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:03,156
Do you remember that odd woman
my mom used to know?

153
00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:05,796
You want this, don't you?

154
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:07,470
Yeah, I do.

155
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,396
He's your responsibility.
You gotta keep an eye on him.

156
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,920
I want to.

157
00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:15,076
- All right. Come on.
- Wicked.

158
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,996
You mean to say you haven't had
a hard-on in four months?

159
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:20,196
- Yeah.
- You're joking?

160
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,316
I'm not joking.
It's not funny, is it?

161
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:24,517
Your pecker's gonna heal up,
if you don't get something done.

162
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:27,556
I know, but I can't
understand it.

163
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:29,196
Before that we had
an active sex life.

164
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,036
I was giving it to her
at least three times a month.

165
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:34,516
Three times a month?

166
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,476
I do it three times a night now.

167
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,276
Oh, don't tell me that!

168
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:41,076
How long have I been
with Maureen? Four, five years,

169
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,156
and I do it
three times a night now.

170
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:46,316
When we started, we were
doing it six, seven times...

171
00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:48,396
Oh, I don't want to hear that,
thank you very much.

172
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,716
That was in an hour!

173
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,356
I thought
you'd help me out somehow.

174
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:53,276
I can't feel anything
down there.

175
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:59,180
It's like the devil possessed it
and took it away.

176
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,316
I'll see you tomorrow.

177
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,076
All right, mate, see you later.

178
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:08,180
- See you later.
- Bye, "Mr. Kray."

179
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:11,036
- All right?
- Yeah, you did well.

180
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:15,140
You're not in the gang
yet, though.

181
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,956
"Yeah, I feel like a force
of nature."

182
00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:25,557
Hello, baby.

183
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,996
"Could make you sing
like a bird released."

184
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:33,637
"If what you seek
is the wise man's treasure."

185
00:10:33,661 --> 00:10:38,116
"You know it's buried
beneath your feet."

186
00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:42,676
"You know you look
like a faded picture"

187
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,077
"I see the cracks..."

188
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,101
Sshhh!

189
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,236
I'm falling in love
with you, too.

190
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:53,236
- Can I kiss you, darling?
- Kiss me.

191
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,516
Your breath is so sweet.

192
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:57,190
And... cut.

193
00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:01,757
I told you no tongue, didn't I?

194
00:11:01,781 --> 00:11:03,277
Marvelous.
Super.

195
00:11:03,301 --> 00:11:05,116
Exactly the sort of love bunnies
I was looking for.

196
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,265
Just one thing...

197
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,396
I thought you said
he was a back door merchant?

198
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,556
- It's a fucking screen kiss.
- You help them when they're busy?

199
00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:20,316
- Oh, shut up.
- A "screen kiss"?

200
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:22,197
Your tongue's
halfway down his throat!

201
00:11:22,221 --> 00:11:23,837
- Have you been going home...
- Ray! Ray!

202
00:11:23,861 --> 00:11:25,316
- Go make yourself busy!
- Don't upset her.

203
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:28,076
Go away or I'll cut
your face off! Go away!

204
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,636
Don't fucking interfere
when you come to my work.

205
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:33,556
I'm not interfering,
but his tongue's down your throat,

206
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:35,077
you don't know where it's been!

207
00:11:35,101 --> 00:11:37,036
It's probably been wrapped
around his cock all night!

208
00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:38,396
- Or someone's cock!
- Ray, listen...

209
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:40,236
Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you
in the river.

210
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:41,940
Now go away!

211
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,677
- Stop it!
- No, I'm not having it!

212
00:11:44,701 --> 00:11:46,396
Have you been going home
with him at night,

213
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:48,876
playing with him?
Practicing with him?

214
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,036
Remember the credit cards?

215
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:55,036
We were turning over
15 grand a week in the end.

216
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,437
Ray's getting a nice,
little bit extra,

217
00:11:57,461 --> 00:12:00,796
and I'm getting well in there
with the gang.

218
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,820
Do you want one?

219
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,200
Thank you.

220
00:12:15,421 --> 00:12:18,171
Total is... oh, ¡Ì4,225.

221
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,436
My round, ain't it?

222
00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:26,076
No, I insist. I'll get it
because I've got the platinum.

223
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,036
Oh, you're too kind.

224
00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:29,556
Stick that through, mate,
and put a little on for yourself.

225
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,820
That's fine, sir.
Thank you.

226
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:41,317
I'm sorry, "Miss Smith,"
your card's been rejected.

227
00:12:41,341 --> 00:12:43,756
If you put it through again
it'll be all right.

228
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,756
- Sorry, sir, I can't put...
- It's all right. Get it on me.

229
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:47,917
I'm sorry, I'm not accepting
any of these cards.

230
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:50,237
I'm keeping your card
as well, sir.

231
00:12:50,261 --> 00:12:53,011
He's stressing me out.

232
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,876
Get your kicks in!

233
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,800
No, wait.
Enough. Enough.

234
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,146
Come on.
Out. Out.

235
00:13:02,341 --> 00:13:04,021
Come on. Out.

236
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,250
- Tape.
- What?

237
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,797
Hurry up!

238
00:13:17,821 --> 00:13:19,597
Where's your tape?

239
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:21,316
Where's your tape
for the cameras?

240
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:23,916
- I haven't got one!
- Don't muck around!

241
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:26,396
- Where's the tape?
- It's 'round the back.

242
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:29,780
- Round the back here?
- Yes.

243
00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:42,740
- I'll take a check.
- Be quiet, you slag!

244
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,836
Where was you
when this was going on?

245
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,636
- What was you doing?
- This guy...

246
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:51,196
- Who bashed up the shopkeeper?
- Well, Dom did.

247
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:53,996
We're all fucking grasses now.
Sorry, darling. You all right?

248
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:56,716
Is that what we do?
We beat up... shut up!

249
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:58,677
Do we beat up shopkeepers?
Is that what we do?

250
00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:00,516
In Dom's defense,
the guy was very effeminate.

251
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:04,157
- He was a poof.
- Are you joking me?

252
00:14:04,181 --> 00:14:05,557
- Ray?
- What?

253
00:14:05,581 --> 00:14:07,236
He was very, very busy.

254
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:10,197
Shut up! Take him away,
he's winding me up!

255
00:14:10,221 --> 00:14:11,421
Get out!

256
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,356
- He was very busy.
- Shut up!

257
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,117
There's no harm done.
We got the tape.

258
00:14:16,141 --> 00:14:18,876
Jon, get here! Jude, get over there!
Get away from them mugs!

259
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,900
Get away! Get over there!

260
00:14:22,141 --> 00:14:24,766
It's all right, mate.

261
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:27,237
See this? Do you understand
the implications of this?

262
00:14:27,261 --> 00:14:29,916
I can get 15 years! Me!
I can get 15 years

263
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:31,717
if the Old Bill
got hold of that!

264
00:14:31,741 --> 00:14:35,317
It was only Jon going in and getting
it that saves me getting 15 years.

265
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,956
You're on the firm, Jon.
You, out!

266
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:40,677
It's good, though, ain't it?

267
00:14:40,701 --> 00:14:42,557
That's all very well, Jon,

268
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,797
but a blade ain't really
a very effective weapon

269
00:14:44,821 --> 00:14:47,036
when you're up against
someone who's trained

270
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,717
in several different kinds
of martial arts.

271
00:14:49,741 --> 00:14:54,117
No, really, these hands
are like deadly weapons.

272
00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:56,717
I can protect myself.
Go on, go for it.

273
00:14:56,741 --> 00:14:57,941
Stab me.

274
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:03,145
Will it do, that?

275
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,131
He stabbed me!

276
00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:09,456
He done me in the guts!

277
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:12,861
Here, here, look at his face!

278
00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:19,396
Oh, sorry, "Bruce."

279
00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:23,636
What do I do, leave it in
or take it out?

280
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:27,997
Here, here, here.
Leave it in and go out.

281
00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:31,277
Ray, Dom, take him out.
Take him up the road somewhere,

282
00:15:31,301 --> 00:15:33,717
he's bleeding all over
the carpet.

283
00:15:33,741 --> 00:15:35,091
It hurts!

284
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:36,980
Aggh-hh!

285
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:39,316
Here, Jon,
here's your knife back.

286
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:44,636
That is classic, mate.
That is absolutely classic.

287
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:48,076
I booked you an appointment
at the sex clinic.

288
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:51,796
- You might have asked me first.
- It's a brilliant one.

289
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,836
Me and Maureen went there
for a long time.

290
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,316
Yeah, but Kathy
ain't gonna have that.

291
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:58,980
No, I'm not saying... Ww!

292
00:15:59,101 --> 00:16:00,751
Stay there.

293
00:16:00,941 --> 00:16:02,756
Oh, don't leave me.

294
00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:05,280
Where are you going?

295
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:16,076
It's... it's really hurting now!

296
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,100
Oh!

297
00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:32,241
Gotta find hospital.

298
00:16:35,181 --> 00:16:37,431
There's no signal!

299
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:50,261
You got that 500 you owe us?

300
00:16:50,701 --> 00:16:51,701
What?

301
00:16:52,501 --> 00:16:54,357
Wind the window down.

302
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:57,131
Have you got that 500?

303
00:16:58,460 --> 00:16:59,460
Ray?

304
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:00,596
What?

305
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,116
Geezer owes us 500,
he only got a long un'.

306
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,917
- Who is he?
- It's just a muppet.

307
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,396
No, gotta have the money.

308
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:08,545
He wants the 500.

309
00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:13,717
Ray, he's adamant.
He ain't got it.

310
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,317
- I've gotta have the money.
- But he ain't having it.

311
00:17:16,341 --> 00:17:17,356
Get the money.

312
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:20,396
He wants the 500.
He ain't having it, Ray.

313
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:23,295
Bill, go get that money.

314
00:17:25,141 --> 00:17:26,956
Wind the window down.

315
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:30,157
He owes us 500, right?
He's only got 100 on him,

316
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:32,797
and he won't wind
the window down.

317
00:17:32,821 --> 00:17:35,446
Wind the window down.

318
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,500
Open the window.

319
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,130
Bill, open the window.

320
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:54,580
He'll keep hitting it
until it breaks.

321
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:57,197
He'll keep hitting it.

322
00:17:57,221 --> 00:17:58,571
Told you.

323
00:18:05,141 --> 00:18:06,957
Have I got your attention?

324
00:18:06,981 --> 00:18:09,756
Yeah, man, you could say that.

325
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,877
You've got to put your mind
to your wedding.

326
00:18:11,901 --> 00:18:13,637
Sadie's not gonna
put up with it much longer.

327
00:18:13,661 --> 00:18:15,277
- There's not long to go.
- I've got too much on my plate.

328
00:18:15,301 --> 00:18:18,317
It's Sadie's job,
and girls can sort that out.

329
00:18:18,341 --> 00:18:21,116
I need someone who can organize
something like that.

330
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:23,237
Someone who's good
at organizing...

331
00:18:23,261 --> 00:18:27,996
Mark, come here,
I've got a bit of work for you.

332
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,516
What's that?

333
00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:31,436
I need you to organize
my wedding.

334
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:32,460
What?

335
00:18:32,621 --> 00:18:34,036
I need someone who's good
at organizing weddings.

336
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,557
You're good at organizing things.
I need you to do it.

337
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:39,076
Take the car.
Go home and see the girls.

338
00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,717
- I can't organize a wedding, Ray.
- Talk to Sadie about it

339
00:18:40,741 --> 00:18:42,197
and just keep
an eye on it for Ray.

340
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,436
Them chat lines, are we getting
a few quid out of them?

341
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,397
Do you want
a church wedding, Ray?

342
00:18:46,421 --> 00:18:48,716
Whatever she wants.
I'll have whatever she wants.

343
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,156
- We should expand.
- So, we'll expand then.

344
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:53,076
Are you Catholic or Protestant?

345
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,957
I'm Jewish. What the fucking
hell does it matter?

346
00:18:54,981 --> 00:18:59,516
Just get it done. Away you go.
Take the car.

347
00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:02,437
Could it be to do
with something like...

348
00:19:02,461 --> 00:19:06,877
I had a bad fall and I think I might
have broken the bone in me cock?

349
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:08,237
Could have.

350
00:19:08,261 --> 00:19:13,157
'Cause the thing what happens
is... From the back, from your spine...

351
00:19:13,181 --> 00:19:14,237
Say that's your spine, right?

352
00:19:14,261 --> 00:19:17,236
The bone slips forward
up your willy like that.

353
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:19,556
- That's right.
- So, you could break it.

354
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:20,997
So, if I'd have sort of broke
a bit it might not...

355
00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:22,917
That's why it flips about a bit.

356
00:19:22,941 --> 00:19:25,357
But it would click like that.

357
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,957
The first thing I need to say,
Kathy, and Ray,

358
00:19:27,981 --> 00:19:30,917
is that Ray's impotence
is entirely normal.

359
00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:33,597
It's very common for men
to have impotence.

360
00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:36,956
But quite often,
the woman feels rejected

361
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:38,677
and they feel
it's something personal.

362
00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:41,236
- Is that how you feel, Kathy?
- Well, yeah, I do.

363
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:44,677
Part of me feels that
it's probably my fault.

364
00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:46,757
Oh, don't be silly.
Of course it's not your fault.

365
00:19:46,781 --> 00:19:48,837
I've put on a bit of weight
over the last couple of years.

366
00:19:48,861 --> 00:19:51,236
- Kathy, don't be silly.
- Well, I don't know.

367
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:53,637
I still love you. If I went bald
would you love me?

368
00:19:53,661 --> 00:19:55,157
Well, yeah.

369
00:19:55,181 --> 00:19:57,556
So, don't be silly.

370
00:19:57,621 --> 00:19:59,957
You just don't know, do you?

371
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,756
Ray, can you masturbate?

372
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,157
- Beg your pardon?
- Do you masturbate?

373
00:20:05,181 --> 00:20:07,397
Are you able to get an erection
when you masturbate?

374
00:20:07,421 --> 00:20:09,476
- I don't masturbate, mate.
- No, you do.

375
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,317
- No, I don't.
- Of course you do.

376
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:15,597
There was that one time
you reckon you caught me out.

377
00:20:15,621 --> 00:20:17,836
But you wouldn't be normal
if you didn't.

378
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:19,677
I don't then and I'm abnormal.

379
00:20:19,701 --> 00:20:22,277
You feel ashamed about
masturbation, don't you, Ray?

380
00:20:22,301 --> 00:20:24,677
Have you got a thing
about this, or what?

381
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:26,877
No, I don't feel ashamed
about masturbation,

382
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,956
'cause I don't masturbate.
And if you don't mind

383
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:31,237
using that type of language
in front of my missus, please.

384
00:20:31,261 --> 00:20:33,557
Masturbation's
an entirely normal thing, Ray.

385
00:20:33,581 --> 00:20:35,877
Well, it might be for you,
but it's not for me.

386
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,836
This is what I mean.
This is what it's like all the time.

387
00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:40,756
If we try and talk
about anything

388
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,557
he goes back to being
like a 16-year-old.

389
00:20:42,581 --> 00:20:44,637
- Don't be silly.
- You do, though.

390
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:45,597
No, I don't.

391
00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,037
I can't believe you hit him.

392
00:20:47,061 --> 00:20:48,797
I am not having anyone talk
like that in front of you.

393
00:20:48,821 --> 00:20:50,356
I give him a little slap.
That was it.

394
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:51,596
So, how'd it go then?

395
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:53,757
He reckons it's down to stress
due to the work.

396
00:20:53,781 --> 00:20:55,656
That's not bad.

397
00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:58,197
I'll tell you another thing,
I'm never going back to him again.

398
00:20:58,221 --> 00:21:00,517
You've got to give it time.
You've gotta go a few times.

399
00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:02,197
It's not gonna just work
straight away.

400
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:04,196
You need a good few sessions.
I'll tell you what,

401
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,557
you ought to get a bit kinky.
Do you like domination?

402
00:21:06,581 --> 00:21:08,996
We like that, don't we?
You need to dress up for him.

403
00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:10,796
Why don't you go up west,
look aound the sex shops

404
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:14,437
and get a few toys?
What about handcuffs?

405
00:21:14,461 --> 00:21:16,556
What you need to do
is try different things.

406
00:21:16,580 --> 00:21:19,197
Have you tried inserting things
into Ray? He might like it.

407
00:21:19,221 --> 00:21:20,877
Like a cucumber,
or something like that.

408
00:21:20,901 --> 00:21:23,197
- Oh, leave it out.
- You've gotta use toys.

409
00:21:23,221 --> 00:21:26,156
Spice it up a bit.
Use some food, use the honey,

410
00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:28,157
experiment a little bit
and don't be shy.

411
00:21:28,181 --> 00:21:31,037
I mean, it was just like
watching a gangster film.

412
00:21:31,061 --> 00:21:33,517
All that "love interest."
It gets in the way.

413
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:35,837
All the time you're watching it,
you can tell

414
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,677
the woman is going to
fuck it all up in the end.

415
00:21:38,701 --> 00:21:41,437
And that's the thing
about women...

416
00:21:41,461 --> 00:21:43,997
You never know
what's going on in their minds.

417
00:21:44,021 --> 00:21:47,237
You know, I feel I've got to
get away from London,

418
00:21:47,261 --> 00:21:50,156
and, I don't know,
become a farmer.

419
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:51,997
- What?
- Out in the country, you know?

420
00:21:52,021 --> 00:21:56,237
Become a farmer,
or just... enjoy the land. Enjoy England.

421
00:21:56,261 --> 00:21:59,797
This is my gaff.
This is my England.

422
00:21:59,821 --> 00:22:01,797
And I want to enjoy that.

423
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:05,557
I'll trust you with this.
You keep this to yourself,

424
00:22:05,581 --> 00:22:09,117
but I kind of feel soft,
you know?

425
00:22:09,141 --> 00:22:10,891
You feel soft?

426
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:15,477
Listen, babe, remember when I first
met you, that night at King's Head?

427
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:16,277
Yeah, I know.

428
00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:18,197
That's the man
I fell in love with.

429
00:22:18,221 --> 00:22:20,316
Yeah, but I don't enjoy
fighting anymore.

430
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,157
You had power. You were strong.
You made decisions.

431
00:22:23,181 --> 00:22:24,757
That's who I love.

432
00:22:24,781 --> 00:22:26,917
I don't love
Ray the gentle giant, do I?

433
00:22:26,941 --> 00:22:29,637
I love Ray the tough man.

434
00:22:29,661 --> 00:22:33,237
Yeah, well... I don't know
what I'm talking about.

435
00:22:33,261 --> 00:22:36,381
I'm just talking bollocks.

436
00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:37,837
- You all right?
- Yeah.

437
00:22:37,861 --> 00:22:40,076
Come on.
Let's have a walk.

438
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:46,461
So, just as soon as I'm about to
come... you turn into the cabin boy.

439
00:22:47,221 --> 00:22:49,317
That dream don't mean
you're gay!

440
00:22:49,341 --> 00:22:51,517
I mean, you know, that's stupid.

441
00:22:51,541 --> 00:22:53,397
It must mean something,
mustn't it?

442
00:22:53,421 --> 00:22:55,997
I think it's all part
of the stress, that's all.

443
00:22:56,021 --> 00:22:58,877
Come on, let's see
how "big bad wolf" is.

444
00:22:58,901 --> 00:23:01,437
- Oh, please, Kathy.
- You never know.

445
00:23:01,461 --> 00:23:03,437
What's the matter with you?
Don't give up so quick.

446
00:23:03,461 --> 00:23:05,437
Leave it!
It's hurting!

447
00:23:05,461 --> 00:23:07,037
I don't think that hurts!

448
00:23:07,061 --> 00:23:10,677
What are you doing?
You trying to pull it off?

449
00:23:10,701 --> 00:23:11,837
No, I just got to put
some life into it.

450
00:23:11,861 --> 00:23:13,757
Ain't I, Ray?
That's all.

451
00:23:13,781 --> 00:23:15,517
I'm going out to a meeting.

452
00:23:15,541 --> 00:23:17,516
That's part of the problem,
isn't it, mate?

453
00:23:17,540 --> 00:23:19,717
Do you know what I mean?
When we get down to it,

454
00:23:19,741 --> 00:23:22,837
you go off to work, and that's
where all the stress comes from.

455
00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:25,877
I'm going to end up barren.

456
00:23:25,901 --> 00:23:27,917
Go on, yeah, fuck off to work.
I'll stay here.

457
00:23:27,941 --> 00:23:29,717
I've got no children
to look after, have I?

458
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:34,796
I might as well stay in bed
all day eating chocolates.

459
00:23:34,820 --> 00:23:36,397
You're absolutely right,
this is not one of ours.

460
00:23:36,421 --> 00:23:38,517
- I'm right, ain't I?
- Yeah, it's not our machine.

461
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,317
Where are the other three?
Where's our three gone?

462
00:23:41,341 --> 00:23:42,991
Don't know.

463
00:23:45,421 --> 00:23:47,637
- Do you want a pint?
- I'd love one.

464
00:23:47,661 --> 00:23:49,517
Two pints and a packet
of salted nuts, please.

465
00:23:49,541 --> 00:23:51,917
What's the problem
with the machine?

466
00:23:51,941 --> 00:23:54,757
Yeah, all right.
I'm coming down.

467
00:23:54,781 --> 00:23:57,837
Well, whose poxy machine is it?
Whose is it?

468
00:23:57,861 --> 00:24:00,557
To be honest, it looks like
one of Sean's. Yeah.

469
00:24:00,581 --> 00:24:03,597
But worse still...
our three have gone.

470
00:24:03,621 --> 00:24:06,077
Who's there with you?
What's that noise?

471
00:24:06,101 --> 00:24:07,751
Jude? Jude!

472
00:24:10,101 --> 00:24:12,277
Jude, what's the noise?

473
00:24:12,301 --> 00:24:14,317
- Oi, Ray!
- What?

474
00:24:14,341 --> 00:24:17,917
Put that back.
You'll get four years for that.

475
00:24:17,941 --> 00:24:19,197
Jude, can you hear me?

476
00:24:19,221 --> 00:24:26,957
Well... I think Jonny's...
Can't I have a day off?

477
00:24:26,981 --> 00:24:29,731
What's going on there?

478
00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:36,277
You know we've got
57 sex shops, right?

479
00:24:36,301 --> 00:24:39,317
And I am the enforcer.
I mean, I enforce.

480
00:24:39,341 --> 00:24:42,197
You've seen me.
How many times do I come in here?

481
00:24:42,221 --> 00:24:43,221
Four?

482
00:24:44,101 --> 00:24:46,797
Yeah, four, five times a week.
Well, when we do the rounds.

483
00:24:46,821 --> 00:24:50,181
I am both feared and revered.

484
00:24:50,261 --> 00:24:51,597
If you know what...
at the same time.

485
00:24:51,621 --> 00:24:54,277
It's sort of a mutual sort
of respect, admiration...

486
00:24:54,301 --> 00:24:58,717
Oi, shut up.
Go and make me a cup of tea.

487
00:24:58,741 --> 00:25:01,037
Do Dom and Ray want one?

488
00:25:01,061 --> 00:25:04,037
Don't ask me. Hop it.
Ask them yourself.

489
00:25:04,061 --> 00:25:05,061
Sugar?

490
00:25:05,461 --> 00:25:06,461
One.

491
00:25:06,941 --> 00:25:09,757
Now, this is what it would
look like if you were angry.

492
00:25:09,781 --> 00:25:12,437
- If you were working properly.
- But it wouldn't look like that.

493
00:25:12,461 --> 00:25:14,677
- Why not?
- Because it's black!

494
00:25:14,701 --> 00:25:18,277
Forget that. Just act like
this strap-on is you.

495
00:25:18,301 --> 00:25:20,757
It's an extension
of your manhood, all right?

496
00:25:20,781 --> 00:25:24,371
- All right.
- Then... This is Kathy.

497
00:25:25,261 --> 00:25:28,797
You've got that wrong now.
Psychologically, it's all wrong.

498
00:25:28,821 --> 00:25:32,637
Kathy ain't got all joins
all over her and things.

499
00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:36,501
Fucking poxy phones.
Poxy phones.

500
00:25:36,821 --> 00:25:39,477
"Please leave
your message after the tone."

501
00:25:39,501 --> 00:25:44,077
Dominic... I don't know where
you are or what you're doing,

502
00:25:44,101 --> 00:25:46,557
but turn your phone on!

503
00:25:46,581 --> 00:25:47,581
Mug!

504
00:25:48,061 --> 00:25:50,936
Just blow harder.
Go on.

505
00:25:51,021 --> 00:25:54,077
No, it's no good, mate.
Kathy's dead.

506
00:25:54,101 --> 00:25:56,357
Do you want a cup of tea?

507
00:25:56,381 --> 00:25:57,837
Oh, sorry.

508
00:25:57,861 --> 00:25:58,861
Alan!

509
00:26:00,381 --> 00:26:02,757
It ain't how it seemed, mate.

510
00:26:02,781 --> 00:26:05,531
You've fucking had it!

511
00:26:06,382 --> 00:26:08,837
Who's piece of shit
is that? Whose is it?

512
00:26:08,861 --> 00:26:11,077
That's Sean's machine,
but I think Jonny's...

513
00:26:11,101 --> 00:26:13,797
Hold on.
What's it fucking doing in here?

514
00:26:13,821 --> 00:26:15,557
- Jonny's taking care of it.
- What's it doing in here, Tom?

515
00:26:15,581 --> 00:26:16,997
I don't know.
They just come and took...

516
00:26:17,021 --> 00:26:20,317
- Who? Who took it?
- I'm not sure.

517
00:26:20,341 --> 00:26:24,477
- Where's our machines?
- They took it, mate.

518
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:26,317
What's this piece of shit
doing here?

519
00:26:26,341 --> 00:26:28,757
If I come in here and find
these machines in here again,

520
00:26:28,781 --> 00:26:30,917
I'll blow this gaff up with you
and your old woman in it.

521
00:26:30,941 --> 00:26:32,557
You done the right thing, Jon.
Did you smash this up?

522
00:26:32,581 --> 00:26:34,706
Fucking good job.

523
00:26:35,141 --> 00:26:36,877
That's about right... "Mug."

524
00:26:36,901 --> 00:26:39,597
You've always been a mug
and you always will be a mug, mug.

525
00:26:39,621 --> 00:26:42,741
Don't treat me like a mug.

526
00:26:43,341 --> 00:26:44,341
Right.

527
00:26:46,221 --> 00:26:51,621
This is a question for Dom,
Fat Alan and Bill.

528
00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:57,437
What is the use of having a
mobile phone if it ain't switched on?

529
00:26:57,461 --> 00:26:59,517
Well, Ray switched our one off.

530
00:26:59,541 --> 00:27:03,278
Oh, maybe you're right, Ray...
My Kathy always says that.

531
00:27:03,302 --> 00:27:07,461
Oh... Jude?

532
00:27:08,341 --> 00:27:11,157
Go and see that little firm
in South London.

533
00:27:11,181 --> 00:27:12,637
Tell them not to put
their machines on our plots.

534
00:27:12,661 --> 00:27:14,911
Take Jon with you.

535
00:27:18,102 --> 00:27:20,602
Who is South London?

536
00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:24,557
"I wish I was a spaceman."

537
00:27:24,581 --> 00:27:27,397
"The fastest guy alive"

538
00:27:27,421 --> 00:27:30,397
"I'd fly you
around the universe."

539
00:27:30,421 --> 00:27:32,921
"In Fireball XL-5."

540
00:27:33,541 --> 00:27:36,477
"Way out in space together."

541
00:27:36,501 --> 00:27:39,501
"Conquerors of the sky."

542
00:27:39,621 --> 00:27:43,341
"My heart would be a fireball."

543
00:27:43,541 --> 00:27:45,291
"A fireball."

544
00:27:46,261 --> 00:27:51,421
"Every time I gazed
into your starry eyes."

545
00:27:52,101 --> 00:27:54,957
"We'd take a path to Jupiter."

546
00:27:54,981 --> 00:27:57,856
"And maybe very soon."

547
00:27:57,941 --> 00:28:00,837
"We'd cruise along
the Milky Way."

548
00:28:00,861 --> 00:28:03,837
"And land upon the moon."

549
00:28:03,861 --> 00:28:06,717
"The wonderland of stardust."

550
00:28:06,741 --> 00:28:09,757
"We'll zoom our way to Mars."

551
00:28:09,781 --> 00:28:13,501
"My heart would be a fireball."

552
00:28:13,861 --> 00:28:15,611
"A fireball"

553
00:28:16,501 --> 00:28:21,901
"'Cause you would be
my Venus of the stars."

554
00:28:23,542 --> 00:28:25,792
Thank you, London!

555
00:28:25,901 --> 00:28:29,717
I mean, the piss was well
and truly taken.

556
00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:31,277
You don't want Ray on your back.

557
00:28:31,301 --> 00:28:32,838
No, I don't want Ray
on my back, but I've gotta say,

558
00:28:32,862 --> 00:28:36,437
I loved that "Mug" touch.
Was that you?

559
00:28:36,461 --> 00:28:38,677
- It was Jonny.
- Jonny?

560
00:28:38,701 --> 00:28:40,397
Oh, you're right, Jude,
I've been a naughty boy

561
00:28:40,421 --> 00:28:42,477
and I apologize about putting
our machines into your pubs

562
00:28:42,501 --> 00:28:45,237
so tell Ray I'm sorry, okay?

563
00:28:45,261 --> 00:28:48,677
I think he fancies me, boss,
because he can't stop staring.

564
00:28:48,701 --> 00:28:52,397
What's your name again?
"Jonifer"?

565
00:28:52,421 --> 00:28:53,837
Sorry, Taff.

566
00:28:53,861 --> 00:28:56,517
I didn't mean
to make you feel sheepish.

567
00:28:56,541 --> 00:28:59,477
Now, now, now, girls.
Less of that.

568
00:28:59,501 --> 00:29:01,797
We're all friends here.

569
00:29:01,821 --> 00:29:06,917
But... I've gotta say it's good
to keep Ray on his toes a bit,

570
00:29:06,941 --> 00:29:09,038
Because he's getting on.
He's a big, old teddy bear.

571
00:29:09,062 --> 00:29:11,397
Wait a minute, four eyes.

572
00:29:11,421 --> 00:29:12,997
I think you're wrong
to say that, actually.

573
00:29:13,021 --> 00:29:16,277
I don't think Ray's getting
flabby upstairs at all. No.

574
00:29:16,301 --> 00:29:22,781
He's still very sharp.
Sharper than ever. He's a tiger.

575
00:29:25,341 --> 00:29:26,341
Alan.

576
00:29:27,982 --> 00:29:30,438
Anything these boys want:
Pink champagne, Hennessey,

577
00:29:30,462 --> 00:29:32,157
Exxo, the works.
Whatever, yeah?

578
00:29:32,181 --> 00:29:34,037
- Cheers, Sean.
- Mi casa, su casa, Jude.

579
00:29:34,061 --> 00:29:35,798
- A pleasure, mate, lovely.
- Yeah, good to see you.

580
00:29:35,822 --> 00:29:36,822
Jonny.

581
00:29:38,941 --> 00:29:40,816
Pink champagne.

582
00:29:41,461 --> 00:29:45,557
That's nice. It's quite sweeter.
It's not normally.

583
00:29:45,581 --> 00:29:47,237
Shut up a minute.
Listen to me.

584
00:29:47,261 --> 00:29:51,278
Don't ever, ever interrupt me
in that situation again.

585
00:29:51,302 --> 00:29:53,037
No one cares
what you have to think

586
00:29:53,061 --> 00:29:54,757
or say in that situation,
all right?

587
00:29:54,781 --> 00:29:57,157
If Ray had been here
he'd have ripped your head off.

588
00:29:57,181 --> 00:30:02,278
Yeah, I know, but I thought...
No. No nothing. I'm Ray's relative.

589
00:30:02,302 --> 00:30:03,797
I speak for Ray
in that situation.

590
00:30:03,821 --> 00:30:06,397
You don't offer a word, okay?

591
00:30:06,421 --> 00:30:08,517
- Okay?
- Yeah, all right.

592
00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:09,541
Sorry.

593
00:30:15,221 --> 00:30:18,096
Come on.
It's all right.

594
00:30:19,101 --> 00:30:21,718
Here, do you want a line?

595
00:30:21,742 --> 00:30:25,438
- Yeah, are you holding?
- Yeah. Come on.

596
00:30:25,462 --> 00:30:26,462
Watch.

597
00:30:27,782 --> 00:30:30,757
I'm not being ridiculous.
I'm leaving the show.

598
00:30:30,781 --> 00:30:32,877
You can't leave the show.

599
00:30:32,901 --> 00:30:34,717
We've taken this show
to the top of the ratings.

600
00:30:34,741 --> 00:30:36,398
Where does that leave me
if you leave?

601
00:30:36,422 --> 00:30:38,078
Shut up.
I wanna get married.

602
00:30:38,102 --> 00:30:39,718
I wanna move on.
I wanna leave the show.

603
00:30:39,742 --> 00:30:41,598
You can't out.
You're optioned for two series.

604
00:30:41,622 --> 00:30:43,917
- It's just not possible.
- I can make it possible.

605
00:30:43,941 --> 00:30:46,958
I know what this is about.
It's about gangster number one.

606
00:30:46,982 --> 00:30:48,717
- Just shut your mouth.
- Is he threatening you?

607
00:30:48,741 --> 00:30:52,198
- Is he jealous?
- Just go! Piss off!

608
00:30:52,222 --> 00:30:54,877
Listen, if I wanna leave
the show I can leave the show.

609
00:30:54,901 --> 00:31:00,421
There's nothing you can
do about it, all right?

610
00:31:13,101 --> 00:31:15,238
I'll tell you, you won't
believe this, Trevor.

611
00:31:15,262 --> 00:31:18,717
Brixton crew got this shitty little
car parked out Breedenton Court,

612
00:31:18,741 --> 00:31:21,997
and it's got about
four kilos of coke in it.

613
00:31:22,021 --> 00:31:23,878
- Can you believe it?
- What's wrong with that?

614
00:31:23,902 --> 00:31:28,037
It's stupid. It's in a car.
Somebody can steal a car.

615
00:31:28,061 --> 00:31:30,438
It makes perfect sense,
anything happens they can get away.

616
00:31:30,462 --> 00:31:33,157
But they should keep it
in a warehouse. It's safer there.

617
00:31:33,181 --> 00:31:35,398
Somebody...
especially outside that estate,

618
00:31:35,422 --> 00:31:37,077
somebody'll nick
the bloody car, won't they?

619
00:31:37,101 --> 00:31:39,117
What's it safe about it
in a warehouse then?

620
00:31:39,141 --> 00:31:41,398
You can't steal
a warehouse, can you, Trev?

621
00:31:41,422 --> 00:31:44,117
It's heavy, it's big,
it's stuck to the bloody ground.

622
00:31:44,141 --> 00:31:48,461
You can get in
and rob it, can't you?

623
00:31:48,901 --> 00:31:53,221
You've got frothier
piss than I have.

624
00:31:58,462 --> 00:32:02,278
- Can you see anyone, darling?
- No, not yet, Dom.

625
00:32:02,302 --> 00:32:03,997
What are you gonna say
after this, babe?

626
00:32:04,021 --> 00:32:06,358
- Thank you.
- Thank you what?

627
00:32:06,382 --> 00:32:11,478
Thank you, Sir Galahad, for putting
your sword in my scabbard.

628
00:32:11,502 --> 00:32:13,037
Oh, lovely.

629
00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:14,411
Anything?

630
00:32:16,302 --> 00:32:18,302
No, not a thing.

631
00:32:18,941 --> 00:32:20,591
You're mad.

632
00:32:26,142 --> 00:32:28,357
Talk Italian, babe.
Talk Italian.

633
00:32:28,381 --> 00:32:32,357
Come sta? Molto bene.
Molto, molto bene!

634
00:32:32,381 --> 00:32:35,006
That's done it, babe.

635
00:32:37,301 --> 00:32:42,758
Oh, babe... Oh, wash yourself up quick,
"Star Trek" is on.

636
00:32:42,782 --> 00:32:45,557
I was the only one
doing anything.

637
00:32:45,581 --> 00:32:47,638
I couldn't believe it.

638
00:32:47,662 --> 00:32:53,118
I mean, these people,
they're supposed to be real players.

639
00:32:53,142 --> 00:32:56,517
Yet no one seemed to do
any fucking business.

640
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,798
See, I'm quite good
with a gun, ain't I, Bill?

641
00:32:58,822 --> 00:33:03,982
- Should give me one.
- Oh, yeah. No chance.

642
00:33:04,302 --> 00:33:07,158
The thing with oral sex is,
you've got to get your head into it,

643
00:33:07,182 --> 00:33:09,117
and you've got to get
Kathy's head into it.

644
00:33:09,141 --> 00:33:14,238
That's the whole point.
Hence the demonstration.

645
00:33:14,262 --> 00:33:17,438
Look at that, Ray.
You've gotta admit, that's a peach.

646
00:33:17,462 --> 00:33:20,478
No, it isn't a peach, is it?
It's a bloody cucumber.

647
00:33:20,502 --> 00:33:22,878
If my Kath thought I was here
at 2:00 in the afternoon

648
00:33:22,902 --> 00:33:24,877
getting a fruit and veg show,
she'd bloody kill me.

649
00:33:24,901 --> 00:33:27,278
I'm going home, mate.
This is perverse.

650
00:33:27,302 --> 00:33:32,701
So, while everyone was busy poncing about,
I thought I'd go to work.

651
00:33:33,902 --> 00:33:37,502
I went painting and decorating.

652
00:33:40,342 --> 00:33:42,717
'Cause really it is about
taking decisive action

653
00:33:42,741 --> 00:33:45,357
early on, you know,
in any conflict, ain't it?

654
00:33:45,381 --> 00:33:46,381
Yeah.

655
00:33:46,902 --> 00:33:49,877
With the Argentinean ship workers,
or whatever they was,

656
00:33:49,901 --> 00:33:52,717
when they landed,
if we sorted them out early on,

657
00:33:52,741 --> 00:33:59,747
then the whole invasion could have been...
- Avoided. - Yeah.

658
00:34:35,662 --> 00:34:39,158
I told you, Nula,
put it in a disabled space!

659
00:34:39,182 --> 00:34:41,878
You bring it all the way here,
this is bound to fucking happen.

660
00:34:41,902 --> 00:34:44,317
I couldn't today, Matt.
He was taking the trolleys.

661
00:34:44,341 --> 00:34:46,958
It's halfway up the world
and it's bound to happen!

662
00:34:46,982 --> 00:34:48,837
Might as well walk there
parking it up here!

663
00:34:48,861 --> 00:34:50,597
But he was putting
the trolleys away.

664
00:34:50,621 --> 00:34:53,278
You're fucking hopeless!
There's room down there!

665
00:34:53,302 --> 00:34:57,317
- She's copping it all.
- "Oh, no, my beautiful car."

666
00:34:57,341 --> 00:35:00,197
You bring it all the way here,
four miles from the shop!

667
00:35:00,221 --> 00:35:02,157
This is bound to fucking happen,
ain't it?

668
00:35:02,181 --> 00:35:05,678
I couldn't, Matt,
they were taking the trolleys.

669
00:35:05,702 --> 00:35:07,718
They was taking the trolleys.
I couldn't.

670
00:35:07,742 --> 00:35:08,942
Shut up!

671
00:35:13,582 --> 00:35:16,078
I can't believe watching me
and Maureen didn't turn you on.

672
00:35:16,102 --> 00:35:18,477
No, it's funny that. I'm sure
it was a beautiful thing.

673
00:35:18,501 --> 00:35:20,637
It just didn't
do nothing for me.

674
00:35:20,661 --> 00:35:23,918
It's a fair one, I suppose,
but this stuff we've got here, right?

675
00:35:23,942 --> 00:35:26,157
What you should do
is put it all on

676
00:35:26,181 --> 00:35:28,398
and then wait
for Kathy to come home,

677
00:35:28,422 --> 00:35:31,678
and give her a right
big surprise.

678
00:35:31,702 --> 00:35:32,702
Ray?

679
00:35:33,662 --> 00:35:35,012
I'm back.

680
00:35:35,382 --> 00:35:38,257
The poxy place was shut.

681
00:35:43,782 --> 00:35:44,782
Oh...!

682
00:35:46,382 --> 00:35:47,758
Kathy, it's me!

683
00:35:47,782 --> 00:35:49,657
You dirty perv!

684
00:35:50,542 --> 00:35:51,892
No! Stop!

685
00:35:52,142 --> 00:35:56,702
- Honey plums, it's me!
- Oh, you prat!

686
00:35:56,942 --> 00:35:59,317
Leave it out, Kath.

687
00:36:04,222 --> 00:36:06,347
Hold on a minute.

688
00:36:08,622 --> 00:36:11,117
I've just come here
to see Jonny, yeah?

689
00:36:11,141 --> 00:36:13,638
- Jonny ain't here.
- Jonny is in there.

690
00:36:13,662 --> 00:36:15,358
I know Johnny's in there.
I know where he is.

691
00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:17,478
- Trev, Jonny ain't here.
- Trev?

692
00:36:17,502 --> 00:36:20,798
I wanna see Jonny.
Go and get Jonny for me now.

693
00:36:20,822 --> 00:36:23,638
- It ain't done like this, mate.
- He just said he ain't here.

694
00:36:23,662 --> 00:36:25,998
He knows I'm coming.
Go and get him.

695
00:36:26,022 --> 00:36:27,238
Jonny ain't here.

696
00:36:27,262 --> 00:36:29,357
All right then, get the boss.
Get the Dalai Lama.

697
00:36:29,381 --> 00:36:32,677
Get Ray out here.
Let me have a word with him.

698
00:36:32,701 --> 00:36:35,518
Jonny, he's embarrassed me
in front of my family. Right?

699
00:36:35,542 --> 00:36:37,638
He's messed my car up.
He's made a fool of me.

700
00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:41,678
I just want him out here.
Nothing to do with our teams.

701
00:36:41,702 --> 00:36:43,678
I just want him out here
on his own,

702
00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:47,318
and I want to spread him
like margarine over that street.

703
00:36:47,342 --> 00:36:48,918
Well, go and get him!

704
00:36:48,942 --> 00:36:51,877
I've got no argument with you.

705
00:36:51,901 --> 00:36:53,917
I'll go get someone.

706
00:36:53,941 --> 00:36:55,437
You gonna have a row with me?

707
00:36:55,461 --> 00:36:57,318
I've got no row with you, Ray.

708
00:36:57,342 --> 00:36:59,277
I just want to see Jonny.

709
00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:01,278
Trevor, sort him out.
It's gonna go off.

710
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:02,358
I just wanna see him.

711
00:37:02,382 --> 00:37:06,342
Very well, thanks, Ray.
Very well.

712
00:37:07,222 --> 00:37:09,847
How do you like that?

713
00:37:10,941 --> 00:37:13,238
All right then.
Taxi!

714
00:37:13,262 --> 00:37:15,398
- Go and get a cab.
- Taxi!

715
00:37:15,422 --> 00:37:19,598
- I'll see you later, Trev.
- Cheers, Ray.

716
00:37:19,622 --> 00:37:20,622
Taxi!

717
00:37:21,422 --> 00:37:24,198
And there in front of everyone
is an iced swan,

718
00:37:24,222 --> 00:37:27,158
which obviously
represents monogamy, okay?

719
00:37:27,182 --> 00:37:29,758
So then obviously people gasp.
They turn to the bride,

720
00:37:29,782 --> 00:37:32,997
and there she has
a wonderful diamond tiara.

721
00:37:33,021 --> 00:37:36,358
Sparkling almost, you know,
almost ice, like the swan.

722
00:37:36,382 --> 00:37:37,957
And then all of a sudden
they look down at the bride.

723
00:37:37,981 --> 00:37:40,358
They gasp again.
So we've got three gasps.

724
00:37:40,382 --> 00:37:42,078
It's going to be
absolutely fantastic.

725
00:37:42,102 --> 00:37:43,638
So it's so important
that I have you

726
00:37:43,662 --> 00:37:46,278
in a beautiful
diamond tiara, okay?

727
00:37:46,302 --> 00:37:47,998
So, it's very important.

728
00:37:48,022 --> 00:37:49,477
So what do we want
and what does she need?

729
00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:51,758
- Diamonds.
- No, it's really important.

730
00:37:51,782 --> 00:37:53,437
What do we want?
What does she need?

731
00:37:53,461 --> 00:37:56,238
- Diamonds!
- Diamonds, absolutely.

732
00:37:56,262 --> 00:37:58,398
Yeah, the diamond heist
went ahead,

733
00:37:58,422 --> 00:38:02,077
but I opted out, because Ray
wanted everyone to dress up

734
00:38:02,101 --> 00:38:06,798
and there's no way I am gonna be
made to dress up like an idiot.

735
00:38:06,822 --> 00:38:08,958
Whose poxy idea was it
for her to have

736
00:38:08,982 --> 00:38:11,677
half a million pounds
worth of tiara, stupid?

737
00:38:11,701 --> 00:38:14,437
What Sadie wants, Sadie gets, Ray.
You won't regret it.

738
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:17,598
He's off in the cool, this 'un.

739
00:38:17,622 --> 00:38:20,478
- Who trumped?
- I thought it was you.

740
00:38:20,502 --> 00:38:22,237
- Ray.
- Yeah, what?

741
00:38:22,261 --> 00:38:24,518
Look what I got
from the sex clinic.

742
00:38:24,542 --> 00:38:26,558
- What is it?
- Viagra.

743
00:38:26,582 --> 00:38:28,438
- What, the real stuff?
- It's the real stuff.

744
00:38:28,462 --> 00:38:30,558
- You take them, do you?
- All the time.

745
00:38:30,582 --> 00:38:32,558
And it does the job?
Get one over here.

746
00:38:32,582 --> 00:38:37,238
There you go. One of these...
And for five hours strong like wood.

747
00:38:37,262 --> 00:38:39,078
- Give me another one.
- All right, mate.

748
00:38:39,102 --> 00:38:42,558
- Like Lawrence of Arabia.
- You want one?

749
00:38:42,582 --> 00:38:45,958
Like Lawrence of Arabia
before the little boy.

750
00:38:45,982 --> 00:38:48,358
- Let me give one to Alan.
- Pass them around.

751
00:38:48,382 --> 00:38:50,478
Nothing's happening.

752
00:38:50,502 --> 00:38:52,438
No, it takes about half an hour
and then it clicks in.

753
00:38:52,462 --> 00:38:54,718
Can I have your attention
please, everybody?

754
00:38:54,742 --> 00:38:56,918
The sheik has arrived.
I don't want nobody

755
00:38:56,942 --> 00:38:59,158
to look him in the eye,
because it's deemed unlucky

756
00:38:59,182 --> 00:39:00,958
in the Middle East, so I want you
to turn your backs.

757
00:39:00,982 --> 00:39:03,117
Turn your backs.
You're not worthy of him.

758
00:39:03,141 --> 00:39:06,198
Come on. And you.
Turn your back. Everyone.

759
00:39:06,222 --> 00:39:08,972
Sheik, your...
Oi! Turn!

760
00:39:09,662 --> 00:39:11,477
I feel like my head's
got the horn.

761
00:39:11,501 --> 00:39:13,397
Sheik, your room is ready, sir.

762
00:39:13,421 --> 00:39:15,558
- Alaikum-salaam.
- Shaleem, donner kebab.

763
00:39:15,582 --> 00:39:17,398
And if you feel the sheik's
presence in the hotel

764
00:39:17,422 --> 00:39:20,118
you turn your back.
Do you understand?

765
00:39:20,142 --> 00:39:21,598
You're not worthy.

766
00:39:21,622 --> 00:39:23,557
I'll get the photographer,
but I always need pictures.

767
00:39:23,581 --> 00:39:24,998
That's what the readers want.
They want pictures, pictures...

768
00:39:25,022 --> 00:39:26,758
- We can do pictures?
- Yeah.

769
00:39:26,782 --> 00:39:28,318
We'll give you anything
you want,

770
00:39:28,342 --> 00:39:30,078
but you've got to give us
that front page.

771
00:39:30,102 --> 00:39:32,638
You get them together,
I'll get the photographer.

772
00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:34,278
- Mr. Kloudermanns?
- Yes, indeed.

773
00:39:34,302 --> 00:39:37,078
Mark. Pleased to meet you.
Nice to put a face with the fax.

774
00:39:37,102 --> 00:39:38,558
Please call me Will.

775
00:39:38,582 --> 00:39:40,918
Did you bring the Gagarin pear?

776
00:39:40,942 --> 00:39:42,518
I have it here.

777
00:39:42,542 --> 00:39:44,558
- Is it working?
- What do you think?

778
00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:48,158
I feel like Saturn 5.
I'm ready to take off.

779
00:39:48,182 --> 00:39:49,838
They're always so dynamic.

780
00:39:49,862 --> 00:39:52,398
Very, sort of, cut and thrust.

781
00:39:52,422 --> 00:39:56,758
Mr. Kloudermanns,
this is Sheik Yakouri.

782
00:39:56,782 --> 00:39:59,358
I'm so excited.
I've been up all morning.

783
00:39:59,382 --> 00:40:01,078
- Your Highness.
- Take a pew.

784
00:40:01,102 --> 00:40:03,038
- Is this the merchandise?
- It is, indeed.

785
00:40:03,062 --> 00:40:04,598
Right, let's have a look.

786
00:40:04,622 --> 00:40:06,757
Would you like a nice
cup of coffee?

787
00:40:06,781 --> 00:40:09,158
- Coffee would be good.
- Omar, coffee, please.

788
00:40:09,182 --> 00:40:11,478
- How do you take it?
- Oh, they're fantastic.

789
00:40:11,502 --> 00:40:15,318
Look, these are the Gagarin... Would
you like some coffee? Coffee's hot.

790
00:40:15,342 --> 00:40:17,078
Coffee would be fine,
thank you very much.

791
00:40:17,102 --> 00:40:19,798
- Perhaps you'd like cream?
- No, thank you. No cream.

792
00:40:19,822 --> 00:40:20,822
Black.

793
00:40:22,742 --> 00:40:25,078
What sort of value
would they be?

794
00:40:25,102 --> 00:40:30,198
Here you would be looking
at say, ¡Ì750,000.

795
00:40:30,222 --> 00:40:33,097
I'm getting so excited.

796
00:40:33,502 --> 00:40:37,438
And is that
what we're looking for?

797
00:40:37,462 --> 00:40:41,358
Okay, chaps, take him over
the chaise lounge, and tie him up.

798
00:40:41,382 --> 00:40:43,062
- Right!
- No!

799
00:40:43,142 --> 00:40:45,678
Please, don't hurt me.

800
00:40:45,702 --> 00:40:47,438
I've got money.

801
00:40:47,462 --> 00:40:49,318
Have him over, Bill.

802
00:40:49,342 --> 00:40:53,878
It is not necessary to tie me,
but be gentle and use lubricant.

803
00:40:53,902 --> 00:40:55,902
What did he say?

804
00:40:56,462 --> 00:40:57,662
Easy on.

805
00:40:57,982 --> 00:40:59,918
You ain't another
back door merchant, are you?

806
00:40:59,942 --> 00:41:01,918
Thanks for coming down
on your break. Don't be angry.

807
00:41:01,942 --> 00:41:05,198
I just want to say, I'm sorry.

808
00:41:05,222 --> 00:41:09,358
I've been horrible to you.
Really horrible.

809
00:41:09,382 --> 00:41:11,278
Let me show you something.
Come here.

810
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:14,358
Look at this.
Look at all of that.

811
00:41:14,382 --> 00:41:17,678
That whole studio is now
"Rural Widows." That's us.

812
00:41:17,702 --> 00:41:20,118
Oh, excellent. Yes!
Great.

813
00:41:20,142 --> 00:41:21,642
Brilliant.

814
00:41:24,422 --> 00:41:26,958
Yeah? I apologize.
Do you accept that?

815
00:41:26,982 --> 00:41:29,718
Yeah, I do.
Don't get too familiar.

816
00:41:29,742 --> 00:41:32,878
- Get your hands off me.
- Okay. I'm sorry.

817
00:41:32,902 --> 00:41:36,398
I'm gonna get South London's
coke out of the back of that car.

818
00:41:36,422 --> 00:41:38,838
We got the information,
let's act on it.

819
00:41:38,862 --> 00:41:42,598
If we cause a war, so what?
War's good.

820
00:41:42,622 --> 00:41:45,718
Take the Falklands,
do you know what I mean?

821
00:41:45,742 --> 00:41:47,617
We was invaded.

822
00:41:48,422 --> 00:41:50,518
And we said,
"No, we're not having that."

823
00:41:50,542 --> 00:41:52,238
Just weren't gonna have it.
So we got a task force together,

824
00:41:52,262 --> 00:41:56,238
and went down there thousands
of miles away, freezing cold,

825
00:41:56,262 --> 00:41:58,718
outnumbered I think,
six to one I think it was,

826
00:41:58,742 --> 00:42:01,478
did the business.
Did the job. Got it back.

827
00:42:01,502 --> 00:42:07,502
And it took a war to make
this country great again.

828
00:42:07,902 --> 00:42:12,518
Oh, no, here's George.
All right, Georgia?

829
00:42:12,542 --> 00:42:15,438
I'm just checking me windows.

830
00:42:15,462 --> 00:42:17,678
Thank you, Viagra.
Right.

831
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:22,358
Think of me as the sword
and you as the scabbard. Okay?

832
00:42:22,382 --> 00:42:24,398
I don't know where
you get these ideas from.

833
00:42:24,422 --> 00:42:26,118
Right, come on, babe,
talk Italian to me.

834
00:42:26,142 --> 00:42:28,838
- I don't know any Italian.
- Yes, you do. Go on.

835
00:42:28,862 --> 00:42:32,438
- Giorgio Armani.
- Oh, that's lovely.

836
00:42:32,462 --> 00:42:34,278
Christian Dior.

837
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:35,302
Oh...!

838
00:42:35,822 --> 00:42:38,999
And the other one...
oh, Vidal Sassoon.

839
00:42:39,023 --> 00:42:41,898
Oh, baby!
Is he Italian?

840
00:42:42,102 --> 00:42:43,782
I don't know.

841
00:42:43,942 --> 00:42:46,998
"Your kisses lift me higher."

842
00:42:47,022 --> 00:42:49,958
"Like the sweet song
of the choir."

843
00:42:49,982 --> 00:42:52,598
"And you light my morning sky."

844
00:42:52,622 --> 00:42:55,742
"With your burning love."

845
00:42:57,022 --> 00:42:58,798
"It's coming closer."

846
00:42:58,822 --> 00:43:03,262
"The flames are now
licking my body."

847
00:43:03,822 --> 00:43:05,438
"Won't you help me?"

848
00:43:05,462 --> 00:43:09,302
"I feel like I'm slipping away."

849
00:43:10,262 --> 00:43:12,038
"It's hard to breathe."

850
00:43:12,062 --> 00:43:15,062
"My chest is a-heaving."

851
00:43:15,102 --> 00:43:16,838
"Heaving, heaving, heaving."

852
00:43:16,862 --> 00:43:22,262
"Lord have mercy,
I'm burning the whole day."

853
00:43:23,422 --> 00:43:26,319
"Your kisses lift me higher."

854
00:43:26,343 --> 00:43:29,838
"Like the sweet song
of the choir."

855
00:43:29,862 --> 00:43:32,278
"And you light my morning sky."

856
00:43:32,302 --> 00:43:33,918
"With your burning love"

857
00:43:33,942 --> 00:43:36,638
- I love you, honey.
- " With your burning..."

858
00:43:36,662 --> 00:43:39,598
"I'm just a hunka hunka
burning love"

859
00:43:39,622 --> 00:43:42,598
"I'm just a hunka hunka
burning love"

860
00:43:42,622 --> 00:43:46,398
"I'm just a hunka hunka
burning love"

861
00:43:46,422 --> 00:43:49,198
"I'm just a hunka hunka
burning love"

862
00:43:49,222 --> 00:43:52,318
"I'm just a hunka hunka
burning love"

863
00:43:52,342 --> 00:43:56,902
"I'm just a hunka hunka
burning love."

864
00:43:57,222 --> 00:43:59,239
- That's it then.
- Yeah, that's the one.

865
00:43:59,263 --> 00:44:00,718
Definitely.

866
00:44:00,742 --> 00:44:03,318
The car in front is a Toyota.

867
00:44:03,342 --> 00:44:05,758
- It is.
- Go on then.

868
00:44:05,782 --> 00:44:07,558
What are you gonna do?

869
00:44:07,582 --> 00:44:08,582
Watch.

870
00:44:20,542 --> 00:44:23,318
Excuse me?
You couldn't tell me the way

871
00:44:23,342 --> 00:44:25,439
to the nearest police station,
could you?

872
00:44:25,463 --> 00:44:27,278
We look like
tourist information?

873
00:44:27,302 --> 00:44:29,318
Get out, you freak.

874
00:44:29,342 --> 00:44:31,358
- What?
- Fuck off, mate!

875
00:44:31,382 --> 00:44:32,882
All right.

876
00:44:33,823 --> 00:44:35,758
Can you believe that wanker?

877
00:44:35,782 --> 00:44:40,222
Coming and,
"Can we have directions?"

878
00:45:22,383 --> 00:45:24,063
What's this?

879
00:45:24,742 --> 00:45:26,867
- What?
- Shut up!

880
00:45:27,342 --> 00:45:29,079
I'm going to tell you
about me now.

881
00:45:29,103 --> 00:45:30,758
Me for a change, all right?

882
00:45:30,782 --> 00:45:33,438
About me.
Not a-fucking-bout you.

883
00:45:33,462 --> 00:45:36,158
I've done some terrible things
in my life I ain't proud of.

884
00:45:36,182 --> 00:45:40,118
I've done things for love and for honor,
for people I love, right?

885
00:45:40,142 --> 00:45:42,639
See this shit
in this fucking rag?

886
00:45:42,663 --> 00:45:46,238
You mugged me off!
Mugged me off!

887
00:45:46,262 --> 00:45:48,318
Made me look a fucking mug!

888
00:45:48,342 --> 00:45:49,542
Babe...?

889
00:46:05,902 --> 00:46:09,022
I fucking don't believe it.

890
00:46:13,943 --> 00:46:16,443
I'm fucking shaking.

891
00:46:20,103 --> 00:46:22,078
Listen, you know what?

892
00:46:22,102 --> 00:46:23,102
What?

893
00:46:23,222 --> 00:46:25,319
We gotta make sure
this is just between me and you.

894
00:46:25,343 --> 00:46:27,118
Listen to me.
Seriously now,

895
00:46:27,142 --> 00:46:29,438
we got to make sure
this is just between me and you.

896
00:46:29,462 --> 00:46:31,479
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Fucking right!

897
00:46:31,503 --> 00:46:36,638
- No one else. I mean, no one.
- Have some of that.

898
00:46:36,662 --> 00:46:38,599
I like what you've done
with this place, it's lovely.

899
00:46:38,623 --> 00:46:41,863
It's kind of... distressed.

900
00:46:44,342 --> 00:46:46,518
It's a bit like me really...
distressed. Minty.

901
00:46:46,542 --> 00:46:47,998
Tight lipped.
Pissed off.

902
00:46:48,022 --> 00:46:51,382
South London... I'll shit 'em.

903
00:46:52,182 --> 00:46:55,359
Got half the mechanicals
in Brixton breathing down my neck.

904
00:46:55,383 --> 00:46:59,558
Geezers I'm supposed to be protecting,
that pay me to look after them.

905
00:46:59,582 --> 00:47:01,558
Two of them got gatted.

906
00:47:01,582 --> 00:47:04,119
And my cocaine got stolen.
My own Percy.

907
00:47:04,143 --> 00:47:06,278
Out of my back pocket, bosh...

908
00:47:06,302 --> 00:47:09,118
Someone had it on their toes
with my fucking cocaine.

909
00:47:09,142 --> 00:47:12,382
I'm not a happy bunny, Ray.

910
00:47:14,942 --> 00:47:17,478
I don't know what to say
to these fellas!

911
00:47:17,502 --> 00:47:19,502
For fuck's sake.

912
00:47:20,343 --> 00:47:22,093
You dirty mug.

913
00:47:22,182 --> 00:47:26,398
Now, a little birdie told me,
in fact I know...

914
00:47:26,422 --> 00:47:31,563
That one of your crew here,
one of your boys... nicked it.

915
00:47:32,622 --> 00:47:35,372
And I know who it was.

916
00:47:35,742 --> 00:47:40,422
It was your new
boy wonder, Jonny, here.

917
00:47:40,582 --> 00:47:46,558
Now, do I have your word, Ray,
that you didn't nick my cocaine?

918
00:47:46,582 --> 00:47:48,518
Jon, did you nick his powder?

919
00:47:48,542 --> 00:47:49,799
Of course not.

920
00:47:49,823 --> 00:47:50,823
No.

921
00:47:51,622 --> 00:47:53,239
On your life?

922
00:47:53,263 --> 00:47:54,263
Yes.

923
00:47:56,263 --> 00:48:00,118
And that is your word,
is it, Ray?

924
00:48:00,142 --> 00:48:01,142
Yes.

925
00:48:04,702 --> 00:48:07,438
Bollocks.
Hold that, mate.

926
00:48:07,462 --> 00:48:08,462
Sean.

927
00:48:08,623 --> 00:48:11,523
Sean, don't be like that.

928
00:48:13,703 --> 00:48:17,118
Bill, go and sort him out
a case of champagne.

929
00:48:17,142 --> 00:48:19,318
Alan, do something.
Make yourself busy.

930
00:48:19,342 --> 00:48:21,092
Come on, Fats.

931
00:48:24,702 --> 00:48:27,158
You didn't take his powder,
did you?

932
00:48:27,182 --> 00:48:28,932
Of course not.

933
00:48:49,542 --> 00:48:52,398
All right, me brudder.
What's up, sta?

934
00:48:52,422 --> 00:48:55,518
I'm not your brother
and I'm not sta.

935
00:48:55,542 --> 00:48:58,359
What's been going on here then?
It's like fucking beer garden.

936
00:48:58,383 --> 00:49:00,999
- Been drinking Red Stripe?
- Yeah, cut the crap.

937
00:49:01,023 --> 00:49:03,118
Two of mine are dead.

938
00:49:03,142 --> 00:49:04,758
My coke's missing.

939
00:49:04,782 --> 00:49:07,279
What are you gonna do about it?
What am I paying you for?

940
00:49:07,303 --> 00:49:09,719
How long have I known you?
Two years, yeah?

941
00:49:09,743 --> 00:49:11,919
Nothing like this has ever
happened before, right?

942
00:49:11,943 --> 00:49:13,623
Straight up.

943
00:49:13,863 --> 00:49:15,878
I'm sorry about your mates
being capped,

944
00:49:15,902 --> 00:49:19,118
but I'm going to shit down
a world of pain on these geezers.

945
00:49:19,142 --> 00:49:20,559
You want your bugle,
you want your trumpet?

946
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:22,639
It's right here, mate.
Here you are.

947
00:49:22,663 --> 00:49:26,743
Here's your trumpet.
There, lovely.

948
00:49:26,862 --> 00:49:29,038
And I'll get these boys
for you, all right?

949
00:49:29,062 --> 00:49:31,719
- Peace. I'm out.
- You better.

950
00:49:31,743 --> 00:49:37,143
I've lost two portions
of cocaine. My cocaine!

951
00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:39,759
My credibility is mullered
with the boys from Brixton!

952
00:49:39,783 --> 00:49:42,399
Absolutely trashed
because of you.

953
00:49:42,423 --> 00:49:44,078
I'm surrounded by doughnuts!
He's got a point!

954
00:49:44,102 --> 00:49:46,718
We're supposed to be
looking after him!

955
00:49:46,742 --> 00:49:49,318
Now, when I see those
North London boys,

956
00:49:49,342 --> 00:49:51,478
I'm gonna rip their heart out
and shit it, right?

957
00:49:51,502 --> 00:49:53,359
Now you sort yourself out.

958
00:49:53,383 --> 00:49:55,518
And you, open the door
and take me home.

959
00:49:55,542 --> 00:49:57,222
Take me home.

960
00:50:01,382 --> 00:50:04,359
What is all this, Sean?
Look, all this grief.

961
00:50:04,383 --> 00:50:06,959
Ray wants peace.
Northside wants peace.

962
00:50:06,983 --> 00:50:09,119
Quiet. Enough.
Belt up, Bill. Shut up.

963
00:50:09,143 --> 00:50:11,719
Put a sock in it, mate.
You're taking libs.

964
00:50:11,743 --> 00:50:15,518
You're in my gaff now.
Behave yourself, mind your manners.

965
00:50:15,542 --> 00:50:19,638
Now, quite frankly
I'm a little pissed off!

966
00:50:19,662 --> 00:50:21,639
Coming here with a case
of champagne saying,

967
00:50:21,663 --> 00:50:25,238
"I'm sorry. Ray wants peace"?
Bollocks.

968
00:50:25,262 --> 00:50:28,742
I'm down two parcels of Percy.

969
00:50:29,583 --> 00:50:35,103
Yeah, two parcels
of my own cocaine gone. Bosh.

970
00:50:36,343 --> 00:50:38,958
You know how I know
you've done it?

971
00:50:38,982 --> 00:50:40,239
You've only gone and signed off!

972
00:50:40,263 --> 00:50:45,039
You signed "Mug" on the side
of the car, you doughnuts!

973
00:50:45,063 --> 00:50:50,638
And that is why I'm gonna
have to tie you up now.

974
00:50:50,662 --> 00:50:53,162
I'm only the driver!

975
00:50:59,383 --> 00:51:00,733
Hi, John.

976
00:51:00,942 --> 00:51:02,438
Sades, this is a nice surprise.

977
00:51:02,462 --> 00:51:06,302
Yeah. I've got
a present for you.

978
00:51:06,982 --> 00:51:10,822
- Hello, John.
- All right, John?

979
00:51:11,183 --> 00:51:13,159
See, this isn't stressful.
This is the good bit.

980
00:51:13,183 --> 00:51:14,863
Up here, you.

981
00:51:17,023 --> 00:51:19,199
You've broken my nose!

982
00:51:19,223 --> 00:51:21,119
No.
Let's have a look.

983
00:51:21,143 --> 00:51:22,558
Do you reckon that's broken?

984
00:51:22,582 --> 00:51:23,582
No.

985
00:51:25,543 --> 00:51:27,043
It is now.

986
00:51:27,503 --> 00:51:29,479
That was a good one, wasn't it?

987
00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:31,503
Not in the face!

988
00:51:32,143 --> 00:51:35,078
John, if you ever go
to the papers again,

989
00:51:35,102 --> 00:51:37,079
far worse is gonna
happen to you, right?

990
00:51:37,103 --> 00:51:41,918
- You'll be dead, bastard.
- Please, not in the face.

991
00:51:41,942 --> 00:51:43,599
This is stressing me out.

992
00:51:43,623 --> 00:51:46,079
You've got it wrong, mate.
This gets rid of the stress.

993
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:48,638
All of this gets rid
of your violent tendencies.

994
00:51:48,662 --> 00:51:50,438
- Really?
- Yeah, really.

995
00:51:50,462 --> 00:51:52,279
I'll have another bit, then.

996
00:51:52,303 --> 00:51:55,078
- Remember the face.
- Excuse me.

997
00:51:55,102 --> 00:51:56,602
Thank you.

998
00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:58,999
- See?
- Yeah, I feel good.

999
00:51:59,023 --> 00:52:01,958
- I told ya.
- I feel good.

1000
00:52:01,982 --> 00:52:06,422
Oh, I think somebody's
seen something.

1001
00:52:06,543 --> 00:52:08,439
There, Rick.
There's my little Charlotte.

1002
00:52:08,463 --> 00:52:10,438
She's lovely.
Absolutely lovely.

1003
00:52:10,462 --> 00:52:12,238
Yeah.
She looks like you.

1004
00:52:12,262 --> 00:52:15,039
Matthew, make sure
that's done up properly.

1005
00:52:15,063 --> 00:52:18,079
That is the legendary Bill,
ex-Special Forces.

1006
00:52:18,103 --> 00:52:20,399
Might have a gun up his ass,
mightn't he?

1007
00:52:20,423 --> 00:52:22,719
Tight enough for you, is it?

1008
00:52:22,743 --> 00:52:24,743
Turn him around.

1009
00:52:24,862 --> 00:52:27,038
Look at the state of you, Alan.

1010
00:52:27,062 --> 00:52:28,719
Why do they call you
"Fat Alan,"?

1011
00:52:28,743 --> 00:52:30,743
Have you farted?

1012
00:52:31,503 --> 00:52:33,003
Dirty sod.

1013
00:52:33,583 --> 00:52:35,439
You're a smelly tubby,
aren't you?

1014
00:52:35,463 --> 00:52:40,399
What's this, a six pack
or a party of seven?

1015
00:52:40,423 --> 00:52:44,863
What's that, Fat Alan?
Does that hurt?

1016
00:52:45,623 --> 00:52:48,523
Stick your finger in it.

1017
00:52:49,503 --> 00:52:50,503
Oh-hh!

1018
00:52:51,503 --> 00:52:54,559
Deep, ain't it?
Oh, that's deep.

1019
00:52:54,583 --> 00:52:57,583
Where's your shotgun now?

1020
00:52:57,942 --> 00:53:01,559
Where's your shotgun now,
you bastard?

1021
00:53:01,583 --> 00:53:06,079
It's not up your ass,
is it, Action Man?

1022
00:53:06,103 --> 00:53:09,079
Action Man hasn't
got an an ass, has he?

1023
00:53:09,103 --> 00:53:14,383
He hasn't got a cock
and hasn't got balls either.

1024
00:53:15,742 --> 00:53:18,039
I'm going to have to
stick this in your behind

1025
00:53:18,063 --> 00:53:23,958
and shoot you a little ring piece,
Action Man... Look around the tree...

1026
00:53:23,982 --> 00:53:27,159
...and make you cry
and make you wish

1027
00:53:27,183 --> 00:53:32,103
you were back
in the fucking British Army.

1028
00:53:33,263 --> 00:53:35,478
Quite frankly,
I'm getting bored.

1029
00:53:35,502 --> 00:53:37,239
Time will wait for no man, Trev.

1030
00:53:37,263 --> 00:53:38,839
Let's get this party
rolling a bit.

1031
00:53:38,863 --> 00:53:40,319
You know what to do.
Take him to the kitchen.

1032
00:53:40,343 --> 00:53:42,679
- Oh, and put the kettle on.
- Cup of tea?

1033
00:53:42,703 --> 00:53:44,118
- Lovely.
- What do you want, Matthew?

1034
00:53:44,142 --> 00:53:46,517
- Pop.
- Bill! Bill!

1035
00:53:47,223 --> 00:53:51,798
Haven't you got anything
to say for yourself, young man?

1036
00:53:51,822 --> 00:53:53,572
Say something!

1037
00:53:53,823 --> 00:53:55,503
Jesus. Rick!

1038
00:54:03,583 --> 00:54:06,839
- Have they got any pop?
- No, there's only Ribena.

1039
00:54:06,863 --> 00:54:08,239
I want pop.
Fizzy pop.

1040
00:54:08,263 --> 00:54:11,079
What's this about you and Sadie
having a row

1041
00:54:11,103 --> 00:54:14,838
over a poxy story in the paper
that ain't even true?

1042
00:54:14,862 --> 00:54:16,159
How'd you know
it's a poxy story?

1043
00:54:16,183 --> 00:54:19,119
Everyone knows that
that lot write rubbish.

1044
00:54:19,143 --> 00:54:21,079
- That ain't me on the front page.
- I don't care.

1045
00:54:21,103 --> 00:54:23,279
You've gotta go
and make it up with her.

1046
00:54:23,303 --> 00:54:26,559
- No, I ain't got to.
- I'm telling you...

1047
00:54:26,583 --> 00:54:29,399
- I got nothing to be sorry...
- It's true, Ray. It really is.

1048
00:54:29,423 --> 00:54:31,438
- Shut up.
- Yeah, shut up.

1049
00:54:31,462 --> 00:54:33,439
That ain't me on the front page.

1050
00:54:33,463 --> 00:54:35,719
Listen, she's a diamond.
We all love her.

1051
00:54:35,743 --> 00:54:38,039
You've got to make it up
with her.

1052
00:54:38,063 --> 00:54:40,279
You've gotta tell her
that you're sorry!

1053
00:54:40,303 --> 00:54:43,959
You get out there now
and tell her you're sorry.

1054
00:54:43,983 --> 00:54:45,959
- You are. I'm telling you!
- That ain't me.

1055
00:54:45,983 --> 00:54:48,759
I don't give a shit.
Get out there now!

1056
00:54:48,783 --> 00:54:51,533
Oh, don't drive me mad.

1057
00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:55,479
Look how he's walking...

1058
00:54:55,503 --> 00:55:02,703
with his tail between his legs,
just like a little puppy dog.

1059
00:55:04,623 --> 00:55:07,999
- Trev, he's lovely.
- He's lovely, isn't he?

1060
00:55:08,023 --> 00:55:11,023
Ain't he got a shiny coat?

1061
00:55:12,263 --> 00:55:14,263
Oh, he's lovely.

1062
00:55:14,343 --> 00:55:19,679
Look at that expression... That
little inquisitive thing in his eyes.

1063
00:55:19,703 --> 00:55:21,839
Trev, did you give him the...?

1064
00:55:21,863 --> 00:55:25,719
Four tabs.
Microdots from Amsterdam.

1065
00:55:25,743 --> 00:55:28,983
Who's a little trippy doggy?

1066
00:55:30,903 --> 00:55:33,039
Come here, boy.
Don't be shy.

1067
00:55:33,063 --> 00:55:36,279
Who's a little
trippy doggy then?

1068
00:55:36,303 --> 00:55:37,839
Give him some lunch.

1069
00:55:37,863 --> 00:55:39,279
Is that the one
the breeders recommend?

1070
00:55:39,303 --> 00:55:40,503
They do.

1071
00:55:40,623 --> 00:55:42,799
Good, because I wanna
give him the best.

1072
00:55:42,823 --> 00:55:47,143
I want him to have
a nice shiny coat.

1073
00:55:49,543 --> 00:55:51,398
Oh, man, that stinks!

1074
00:55:51,422 --> 00:55:52,719
I'm thinking of
entering him for Crufts next year.

1075
00:55:52,743 --> 00:55:55,479
- Here you are.
- Eat it. Oh, the dirty bastard!

1076
00:55:55,503 --> 00:55:56,719
Jesus Christ!

1077
00:55:56,743 --> 00:55:58,639
That's gone all over him.

1078
00:55:58,663 --> 00:56:02,023
Look at him.
He's chewing it!

1079
00:56:02,183 --> 00:56:03,599
- Chew it!
- Go on.

1080
00:56:03,623 --> 00:56:05,623
Eat your dinner.

1081
00:56:06,183 --> 00:56:08,839
- There's a good boy.
- Eat it properly.

1082
00:56:08,863 --> 00:56:11,199
- Oh, you dirty dog.
- Right then, Matthew.

1083
00:56:11,223 --> 00:56:14,239
It's time for the old
marigolds, I think.

1084
00:56:14,263 --> 00:56:17,359
- Why not, sir?
- Lovely. Off we pop.

1085
00:56:17,383 --> 00:56:19,959
There you go.
Do mine up proper, man.

1086
00:56:19,983 --> 00:56:22,398
Don't want to get shit
on me old Boateng.

1087
00:56:22,422 --> 00:56:26,639
Do you know what I mean?
Right, then.

1088
00:56:26,663 --> 00:56:28,788
Let's go to work.

1089
00:56:28,823 --> 00:56:30,959
- Should we worm him?
- Lovely.

1090
00:56:30,983 --> 00:56:34,079
Oh, Taff, I think you'll be
wanting that.

1091
00:56:34,103 --> 00:56:36,639
- Thank you, boss.
- Off you go.

1092
00:56:36,663 --> 00:56:38,313
Oh! My God.

1093
00:56:38,423 --> 00:56:41,119
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Bad dog.

1094
00:56:41,143 --> 00:56:42,343
Bad dog.

1095
00:56:43,703 --> 00:56:46,639
I've had enough of this.
Boys, upstairs pronto.

1096
00:56:46,663 --> 00:56:49,119
Turn the bath on.
Let's do Bill first, all right?

1097
00:56:49,143 --> 00:56:51,268
Come on, soldier.

1098
00:56:59,303 --> 00:57:01,879
Get him round here.
Drag him along.

1099
00:57:01,903 --> 00:57:06,703
Come on, soldier boy,
time for your bath.

1100
00:57:18,743 --> 00:57:19,743
Sorry.

1101
00:57:20,943 --> 00:57:22,719
Oh, it's looking good.

1102
00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:24,639
Look, he's just like
all the geezers.

1103
00:57:24,663 --> 00:57:28,263
His bark's worse than his bite.

1104
00:57:34,583 --> 00:57:39,863
- Let's go upstairs.
- Get rid of them first.

1105
00:58:00,983 --> 00:58:02,858
Out the window!

1106
00:58:05,503 --> 00:58:07,003
Shit. Run!

1107
00:58:17,863 --> 00:58:20,113
Are you all right?

1108
00:58:23,823 --> 00:58:27,423
- Looking well, Bill.
- Cheers.

1109
00:58:33,263 --> 00:58:34,763
How is he?

1110
00:58:35,663 --> 00:58:37,719
His temperature and pulse rate
are up and down a bit,

1111
00:58:37,743 --> 00:58:39,959
but his bowel movements
are fine though.

1112
00:58:39,983 --> 00:58:42,559
- What happened to him?
- Oh, sorry, Ray.

1113
00:58:42,583 --> 00:58:46,239
They force fed him LSD,
they tortured him,

1114
00:58:46,263 --> 00:58:48,079
and they threw him
from an upstairs window.

1115
00:58:48,103 --> 00:58:49,783
Is that all?

1116
00:58:50,303 --> 00:58:52,439
They fed him dog food as well.

1117
00:58:52,463 --> 00:58:53,513
Chunky?

1118
00:58:56,703 --> 00:58:59,079
I want you to go to South London
and see Sean again.

1119
00:58:59,103 --> 00:59:01,559
Tell him I've got to have
a meeting in the open.

1120
00:59:01,583 --> 00:59:04,279
I want to be friends again.
I can't have this bollocks,

1121
00:59:04,303 --> 00:59:06,039
people are getting hurt.

1122
00:59:06,063 --> 00:59:08,759
This could be it.
It could go off. This could be war.

1123
00:59:08,783 --> 00:59:14,199
Listen, Jon, this is a good opportunity
to calm things down. All right?

1124
00:59:14,223 --> 00:59:17,039
So you let me
and you let Ray do the talking.

1125
00:59:17,063 --> 00:59:19,959
We've known Sean
for a long time.

1126
00:59:19,983 --> 00:59:22,639
- It'll be good to...
- Here you are.

1127
00:59:22,663 --> 00:59:25,199
- Is that for me?
- Yeah.

1128
00:59:25,223 --> 00:59:28,123
It's loaded, be careful.

1129
00:59:28,423 --> 00:59:32,263
- Are we going tooled up?
- Yeah.

1130
00:59:32,823 --> 00:59:34,879
I'll show you how to use it
on the way down.

1131
00:59:34,903 --> 00:59:38,199
Don't point it
at anyone you like.

1132
00:59:38,223 --> 00:59:41,199
- How are you, Sean?
- I'm well, Ray. You?

1133
00:59:41,223 --> 00:59:42,999
Good. Did you get
the champagne?

1134
00:59:43,023 --> 00:59:44,799
- Yeah.
- Did you like it?

1135
00:59:44,823 --> 00:59:45,823
No.

1136
00:59:46,223 --> 00:59:48,919
You've got to have
that Lauren Perrier pink.

1137
00:59:48,943 --> 00:59:52,439
You have it with the peaches
in the syrup. It's nice.

1138
00:59:52,463 --> 00:59:54,879
- It's a Belini.
- Is it?

1139
00:59:54,903 --> 00:59:57,279
I don't like champagne.
The bubbles go up my nose.

1140
00:59:57,303 --> 00:59:59,303
Where's my coke?

1141
01:00:00,103 --> 01:00:03,279
I haven't got your coke.
Why the fuck would I want it?

1142
01:00:03,303 --> 01:00:06,799
- Why would I want your coke?
- Because it's worth a mint!

1143
01:00:06,823 --> 01:00:07,959
Where is my coke?

1144
01:00:07,983 --> 01:00:11,079
- I haven't got your coke.
- I know you do.

1145
01:00:11,103 --> 01:00:16,503
Don't mack me off
like a two bob. It's Sunday.

1146
01:00:16,583 --> 01:00:19,439
"Mack"? What's that mean?
What's that, a new term?

1147
01:00:19,463 --> 01:00:22,079
Sean, this is bollocks, mate.

1148
01:00:22,103 --> 01:00:23,799
Let's have a little talk.

1149
01:00:23,823 --> 01:00:26,239
I wanna be friends.
This is bollocks.

1150
01:00:26,263 --> 01:00:28,388
Well, let's talk.

1151
01:00:28,543 --> 01:00:31,399
Come around here then.
We'll have a little walk.

1152
01:00:31,423 --> 01:00:33,479
I'll tell you what,
a much better idea,

1153
01:00:33,503 --> 01:00:35,159
you come around here,
we'll have a walk down there.

1154
01:00:35,183 --> 01:00:36,879
No, I don't wanna
come around there.

1155
01:00:36,903 --> 01:00:38,639
You're mob-handed.
Let's me and you have a walk.

1156
01:00:38,663 --> 01:00:40,800
I'm mob-handed?
Have a look around.

1157
01:00:40,824 --> 01:00:43,960
- Who me?
- Hold up. Hold up!

1158
01:00:43,984 --> 01:00:45,184
Hold up!

1159
01:00:46,423 --> 01:00:48,173
Don't bunk in.

1160
01:00:48,743 --> 01:00:50,959
I called the meet.
Let's have a little walk.

1161
01:00:50,983 --> 01:00:53,759
- You come around here.
- No, I don't want to.

1162
01:00:53,783 --> 01:00:56,479
I do not want to come around
that side of your fucking car!

1163
01:00:56,503 --> 01:00:58,719
- Come around here.
- Meet in the middle!

1164
01:00:58,743 --> 01:01:00,759
- I ain't meeting in the middle!
- Why not?

1165
01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:03,679
Let's just have a walk
and a talk, me and you.

1166
01:01:03,703 --> 01:01:08,999
- Why don't you come around?
- I don't wanna come around!

1167
01:01:09,023 --> 01:01:10,759
Let's have a talk!
A walk and a talk!

1168
01:01:10,783 --> 01:01:12,679
- Come around here!
- This is bollocks!

1169
01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:14,759
No, it ain't bollocks!
You get around here and talk.

1170
01:01:14,783 --> 01:01:15,783
Gun!

1171
01:01:17,263 --> 01:01:19,439
Fucking hell, he shot me
in the head!

1172
01:01:19,463 --> 01:01:21,400
Let me have a look.

1173
01:01:21,424 --> 01:01:24,239
- It's coming out the back!
- It's a scratch!

1174
01:01:24,263 --> 01:01:30,023
I've got burns off my fucking
lighter, haven't I?

1175
01:01:42,664 --> 01:01:45,159
Alan! Alan,
can you hear me?

1176
01:01:45,183 --> 01:01:46,919
Get the big boys out of the van.

1177
01:01:46,943 --> 01:01:49,068
Get the van open!

1178
01:01:54,143 --> 01:01:56,268
Give us the keys!

1179
01:01:57,064 --> 01:01:58,264
Move it!

1180
01:02:01,583 --> 01:02:03,199
Open the door, you fat wanker.

1181
01:02:03,223 --> 01:02:05,598
Alan, get the boys!

1182
01:02:05,823 --> 01:02:10,863
- What are you fucking doing?
- I'm trying!

1183
01:02:11,583 --> 01:02:13,233
You muppet!

1184
01:02:14,543 --> 01:02:15,543
Move!

1185
01:02:28,823 --> 01:02:30,573
Give me a gun!

1186
01:02:30,824 --> 01:02:33,944
Give me a gun!
Bloody hell!

1187
01:02:45,423 --> 01:02:48,173
Over there, not at us!

1188
01:02:48,823 --> 01:02:52,433
Bloody... ridiculous!

1189
01:03:03,263 --> 01:03:06,320
Lovely! Lovely!
Who wants to shoot me?

1190
01:03:06,344 --> 01:03:08,599
Who wants to fucking shoot me?

1191
01:03:08,623 --> 01:03:11,520
You wanna row with me?
Fucking slags!

1192
01:03:11,544 --> 01:03:14,719
So much for my fucking
singing voice!

1193
01:03:14,743 --> 01:03:17,118
You South London...!

1194
01:03:24,903 --> 01:03:26,903
It's outrageous.

1195
01:04:11,624 --> 01:04:13,499
Listen to this.

1196
01:04:13,743 --> 01:04:15,423
Fix bayonets!

1197
01:04:29,623 --> 01:04:32,523
Van!
Get the fucking van!

1198
01:04:35,663 --> 01:04:37,343
Run. Come on!

1199
01:04:37,743 --> 01:04:43,023
- Hang on a minute.
- What do you mean "run"?

1200
01:04:52,943 --> 01:04:55,318
Jesus Christ!
Drive!

1201
01:05:07,184 --> 01:05:09,059
"Fix bayonets"?

1202
01:05:09,224 --> 01:05:11,759
What the hell
was all that about?

1203
01:05:11,783 --> 01:05:15,479
This is no good, is it?
We need the big guns!

1204
01:05:15,503 --> 01:05:17,628
You, you bastard!

1205
01:05:17,744 --> 01:05:19,959
I told you to get some longs,
didn't I?

1206
01:05:19,983 --> 01:05:22,319
- Didn't I tell you...?
- Me hole!

1207
01:05:22,343 --> 01:05:24,759
Didn't I tell you
to get me some longs?

1208
01:05:24,783 --> 01:05:26,679
I can't take this anymore.
It's driving me mad.

1209
01:05:26,703 --> 01:05:31,263
Why don't we have
the big fucking guns?

1210
01:05:33,823 --> 01:05:36,080
Me and Jonny's like that
over the top of the cars.

1211
01:05:36,104 --> 01:05:38,440
We were taking out the windows...

1212
01:05:38,464 --> 01:05:40,959
That's how you do it.
Get their heads down with the AKs.

1213
01:05:40,983 --> 01:05:42,359
That's what it was.

1214
01:05:42,383 --> 01:05:43,583
Hold up.

1215
01:05:43,664 --> 01:05:44,864
Shut up!

1216
01:05:48,184 --> 01:05:51,119
Now I've had a divy up.
We used over 200 rounds.

1217
01:05:51,143 --> 01:05:54,399
The only person who hit anything
was Jonny boy here.

1218
01:05:54,423 --> 01:05:56,719
I mean, I've got a pinhead
who thinks he's a bow-

1219
01:05:56,743 --> 01:05:58,479
the jellyfish
and Freddy fucking Krueger.

1220
01:05:58,503 --> 01:06:01,128
What a firm I've got.

1221
01:06:02,984 --> 01:06:05,280
It's good though. We sent them
through the long grass.

1222
01:06:05,304 --> 01:06:07,880
Yeah, chased St. Trinian's
out of the playground.

1223
01:06:07,904 --> 01:06:13,280
Personally, I find that
a nice little fire fight,

1224
01:06:13,304 --> 01:06:15,639
it separates the men
from the boys, don't it?

1225
01:06:15,663 --> 01:06:17,313
Hear, hear.

1226
01:06:17,944 --> 01:06:19,479
- Oi, Dom?
- Yeah?

1227
01:06:19,503 --> 01:06:22,239
This is one time you ain't
gonna shag the bridesmaids.

1228
01:06:22,263 --> 01:06:23,920
Not in this anyway.

1229
01:06:23,944 --> 01:06:27,439
Mark, don't you think
this rehearsal's a bit stupid?

1230
01:06:27,463 --> 01:06:29,680
No, I don't think it's stupid.
I think it's essential.

1231
01:06:29,704 --> 01:06:31,999
Look, the reason why
I've got you here today

1232
01:06:32,023 --> 01:06:35,920
is I need to know how the fabrics
and the colors respond in the light.

1233
01:06:35,944 --> 01:06:38,279
Look, they don't match.
So, one of these has gotta go.

1234
01:06:38,303 --> 01:06:40,400
I've ordered flowers
for the apse,

1235
01:06:40,424 --> 01:06:41,520
so how do I know what colors
I'm gonna use?

1236
01:06:41,544 --> 01:06:43,359
Glad you think it's funny.

1237
01:06:43,383 --> 01:06:45,959
This gives me a clearer idea
of what to do on the day.

1238
01:06:45,983 --> 01:06:49,080
And I've got a gut feeling
this is gonna be fantastic.

1239
01:06:49,104 --> 01:06:51,559
I thought this was it.
I thought I'd done it.

1240
01:06:51,583 --> 01:06:54,999
I thought everyone
would be mad for it now.

1241
01:06:55,023 --> 01:06:58,263
This was real.
This was war.

1242
01:06:58,944 --> 01:07:06,239
But no, this was about a bloody
wedding in a bloody church.

1243
01:07:06,263 --> 01:07:08,999
But I still had
one card up my sleeve.

1244
01:07:09,023 --> 01:07:10,023
Yeah.

1245
01:07:11,304 --> 01:07:13,679
I still had one more chance.

1246
01:07:13,703 --> 01:07:17,903
Go on, take him.
Take him. Good lad.

1247
01:07:23,703 --> 01:07:25,319
Will you stop speaking
to him in Welsh?

1248
01:07:25,343 --> 01:07:27,600
Listen, if you don't like it,
fucking learn it.

1249
01:07:27,624 --> 01:07:30,499
And you learn to drive.

1250
01:07:36,104 --> 01:07:38,560
Hey, Nula,
did you hear the door?

1251
01:07:38,584 --> 01:07:40,709
Yeah, I think so.

1252
01:07:48,184 --> 01:07:49,184
Oi.

1253
01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:54,903
Jonny.

1254
01:07:55,663 --> 01:07:56,863
Shut up.

1255
01:07:59,184 --> 01:08:00,834
Shit. Fuck.

1256
01:08:01,023 --> 01:08:03,148
Shit! Shit! Shit!

1257
01:08:19,624 --> 01:08:25,399
Even though the gun jammed,
I still think they got the message.

1258
01:08:25,423 --> 01:08:30,640
I can't wait to shag you
in every single room.

1259
01:08:30,664 --> 01:08:32,679
Oh, you're getting hard.

1260
01:08:32,703 --> 01:08:34,439
I'm getting all right,
don't worry.

1261
01:08:34,463 --> 01:08:37,199
Listen, I want you
to feel something.

1262
01:08:37,223 --> 01:08:39,679
- Feel that?
- Yeah, I can feel it.

1263
01:08:39,703 --> 01:08:42,200
- It's a bit bigger, isn't it?
- Yeah.

1264
01:08:42,224 --> 01:08:45,439
I'm putting weight on.
I'm pregnant.

1265
01:08:45,463 --> 01:08:47,838
Baby, I'm pregnant.

1266
01:08:48,183 --> 01:08:52,023
I'm gonna have
a little Raymondo.

1267
01:08:52,344 --> 01:08:53,994
I love you.

1268
01:08:56,023 --> 01:08:58,240
It's fucking brilliant,
isn't it?

1269
01:08:58,264 --> 01:09:02,800
- You're having my kid?
- I'm having your baby.

1270
01:09:02,824 --> 01:09:04,800
- Shall we stay here tonight?
- Do you want to?

1271
01:09:04,824 --> 01:09:05,824
Yeah.

1272
01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:10,040
- I'll get rid of Alan.
- Yeah, you do that.

1273
01:09:10,064 --> 01:09:11,064
Alan!

1274
01:09:12,904 --> 01:09:15,029
What do you want?

1275
01:09:15,223 --> 01:09:17,320
What are you doing?

1276
01:09:17,344 --> 01:09:19,360
Were you hiding
behind that tree?

1277
01:09:19,384 --> 01:09:21,919
There's nowhere else to go.

1278
01:09:21,943 --> 01:09:24,080
You've been listening
to what I was saying?

1279
01:09:24,104 --> 01:09:26,479
- Sorry.
- Fuck off.

1280
01:09:26,504 --> 01:09:29,080
Go on, take the car and go.
I'm staying here tonight.

1281
01:09:29,104 --> 01:09:31,680
- I'll phone you tomorrow.
- Shall I take the basket?

1282
01:09:31,704 --> 01:09:33,384
No, just go.

1283
01:09:34,464 --> 01:09:37,119
Fucking help us.
You're getting like a nonce.

1284
01:09:37,143 --> 01:09:40,240
Fucking hanging about
all the time.

1285
01:09:40,264 --> 01:09:43,559
"Straight ahead
toward the roundabout."

1286
01:09:43,583 --> 01:09:47,399
Around the roundabout
the ragged rascal ran.

1287
01:09:47,423 --> 01:09:49,103
"Turn left."

1288
01:09:49,704 --> 01:09:52,880
Just here?
Oh, God, I've missed it.

1289
01:09:52,904 --> 01:09:56,160
"You have made
an incorrect detour."

1290
01:09:56,184 --> 01:09:59,320
Yes, I know that,
but you bloody never told me

1291
01:09:59,344 --> 01:10:02,944
until right at the last minute.

1292
01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:11,463
"You have arrived
at your destination."

1293
01:10:30,824 --> 01:10:33,724
You fucking Anglo-Saxon!

1294
01:10:43,184 --> 01:10:46,904
Burn! Fucking burn,
you bastard!

1295
01:10:47,424 --> 01:10:50,424
Enter the fucking dragon!

1296
01:10:52,664 --> 01:10:54,914
No.
Leave me alone.

1297
01:10:55,504 --> 01:10:57,254
I'm all right.

1298
01:10:57,904 --> 01:11:00,080
I've got to get home.

1299
01:11:00,104 --> 01:11:02,159
Have a nice cheese sandwich.

1300
01:11:02,183 --> 01:11:04,433
I left on the gas.

1301
01:11:06,384 --> 01:11:11,000
No, I'll call you
in about half an hour.

1302
01:11:11,024 --> 01:11:13,640
Yeah, whatever,
just stay in touch.

1303
01:11:13,664 --> 01:11:15,164
All right.

1304
01:11:15,384 --> 01:11:16,920
Yeah, all right.

1305
01:11:16,944 --> 01:11:19,280
He's got more than
20 minutes, obviously.

1306
01:11:19,304 --> 01:11:20,654
Oh, dear.

1307
01:11:22,304 --> 01:11:24,160
It's all going off, mate.

1308
01:11:24,184 --> 01:11:25,800
They just firebombed
Uncle Ray's car.

1309
01:11:25,824 --> 01:11:27,959
- What?
- Yeah, Alan was in it.

1310
01:11:27,983 --> 01:11:29,760
Ray was like that close
to getting in it.

1311
01:11:29,784 --> 01:11:32,120
What do you think they're doing?

1312
01:11:32,144 --> 01:11:34,040
Well, he's probably
a little upset

1313
01:11:34,064 --> 01:11:36,880
I tried to shoot him in the face
the other day, isn't he?

1314
01:11:36,904 --> 01:11:38,654
- What?
- Yeah.

1315
01:11:38,704 --> 01:11:40,400
I probably ruined
his whole week.

1316
01:11:40,424 --> 01:11:44,374
I went round his house,
I stuck my gun in his face and it jammed.

1317
01:11:45,663 --> 01:11:48,400
Lisa, can you take the girls
next door for a minute, please?

1318
01:11:48,424 --> 01:11:50,480
Take the girls in the bathroom.

1319
01:11:50,504 --> 01:11:53,744
Fuck off into the bathroom!

1320
01:11:56,503 --> 01:11:59,003
See you in a minute.

1321
01:11:59,784 --> 01:12:01,720
When was this, Jonny?

1322
01:12:01,744 --> 01:12:03,424
Two days ago.

1323
01:12:03,584 --> 01:12:06,480
You never told me.
You never asked me.

1324
01:12:06,504 --> 01:12:07,999
No, I didn't.

1325
01:12:08,023 --> 01:12:10,000
I'm not gonna talk
about something like that, am I?

1326
01:12:10,024 --> 01:12:13,200
I just had to go and do it.
I keep it secret.

1327
01:12:13,224 --> 01:12:14,904
You know now.

1328
01:12:16,184 --> 01:12:18,809
Firebomb.
What a poof.

1329
01:12:20,144 --> 01:12:23,019
Firebombed... firebombed.

1330
01:12:24,144 --> 01:12:29,880
You firebombed the Northside,
you fucking lunatic!

1331
01:12:29,904 --> 01:12:33,000
You Welsh streak of lanky piss,
are you mad?

1332
01:12:33,024 --> 01:12:35,280
You've broken
the first cardinal rule,

1333
01:12:35,304 --> 01:12:37,840
you do not fuck about
with people's families!

1334
01:12:37,864 --> 01:12:40,364
I've got kids, Taff!

1335
01:12:40,904 --> 01:12:43,154
Kids fucking burn!

1336
01:12:45,264 --> 01:12:47,600
I should rip your throat out
and fuck the wound right now

1337
01:12:47,624 --> 01:12:49,520
unless you're my cousin!

1338
01:12:49,544 --> 01:12:51,840
You fucking better shape
your ideas up, son,

1339
01:12:51,864 --> 01:12:56,880
I swear to God,
or I'll kill you right now!

1340
01:12:56,904 --> 01:12:59,279
Go on, answer back.

1341
01:13:05,104 --> 01:13:07,229
Oh, fuck.
Fuck it.

1342
01:13:10,104 --> 01:13:12,440
What, has Fat Alan
had another ruby, has he?

1343
01:13:12,464 --> 01:13:16,544
No, South London
bombed your motor.

1344
01:13:17,304 --> 01:13:18,954
How's Alan?

1345
01:13:19,104 --> 01:13:21,280
Well, for someone who's been
stabbed, tortured,

1346
01:13:21,304 --> 01:13:24,240
force fed LSD, thrown out
of a window and blown up,

1347
01:13:24,264 --> 01:13:26,840
I'd say he's feeling pretty bad.
Wouldn't you, Ray?

1348
01:13:26,864 --> 01:13:30,344
What's his middle name?
Lucky?

1349
01:13:33,264 --> 01:13:36,164
- All right?
- All right.

1350
01:13:36,784 --> 01:13:38,480
So, what happened?

1351
01:13:38,504 --> 01:13:40,680
South London bombed me car.

1352
01:13:40,704 --> 01:13:42,920
How's Fat Alan?
All right?

1353
01:13:42,944 --> 01:13:47,434
Yeah, well,
seeing he's been... Ask Burdis.

1354
01:13:48,624 --> 01:13:50,999
Uncle Ray, can I have a word?

1355
01:13:51,023 --> 01:13:53,273
Won't be a minute.

1356
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:06,904
I know why all this
has happened.

1357
01:14:08,824 --> 01:14:11,724
Jonny is uncontrollable.

1358
01:14:12,384 --> 01:14:14,680
He went around to Matthew's,
that bloke Matthew,

1359
01:14:14,704 --> 01:14:17,400
that Irish bloke,
no, Welsh bloke,

1360
01:14:17,424 --> 01:14:19,360
and he stuck a gun in his face
in front of his family.

1361
01:14:19,384 --> 01:14:21,520
In front of his kids.

1362
01:14:21,544 --> 01:14:22,544
So...

1363
01:14:27,984 --> 01:14:30,609
what are we gonna do?

1364
01:14:30,784 --> 01:14:33,684
I don't know what to do.

1365
01:14:33,984 --> 01:14:35,560
This is becoming a habit.

1366
01:14:35,584 --> 01:14:37,800
Well, he's been stabbed.
He's been cut,

1367
01:14:37,824 --> 01:14:40,960
he's been force fed LSD.
He's been burnt.

1368
01:14:40,984 --> 01:14:43,840
He's been one of
the unluckiest men alive.

1369
01:14:43,864 --> 01:14:45,760
Yeah, well, these things happen
in his game all the time.

1370
01:14:45,784 --> 01:14:47,760
- He's a stunt man.
- Yeah, I'm afraid they do.

1371
01:14:47,784 --> 01:14:50,284
What's happened now?

1372
01:14:50,584 --> 01:14:53,459
Tell Ray what happened.

1373
01:14:54,064 --> 01:14:56,280
- What?
- He got blown up.

1374
01:14:56,304 --> 01:14:59,440
Well, I can see that.
Is he all right?

1375
01:14:59,464 --> 01:15:04,024
Are you all right?
How are you feeling?

1376
01:15:04,904 --> 01:15:11,864
He feels like he shouldn't be
in this line of work anymore.

1377
01:15:14,864 --> 01:15:17,720
Weeks went by without a peep.

1378
01:15:17,744 --> 01:15:19,640
No comebacks.
No revenge.

1379
01:15:19,664 --> 01:15:23,360
No pissing and moaning.
Nothing.

1380
01:15:23,384 --> 01:15:24,840
What's the matter, babe?

1381
01:15:24,864 --> 01:15:26,760
I had to take your camel hair
to be cleaned today, right?

1382
01:15:26,784 --> 01:15:29,000
Had to empty out the pockets.
I found this.

1383
01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:31,240
Would you mind telling me
what you're doing

1384
01:15:31,264 --> 01:15:33,080
shoveling this shit
up your hooter?

1385
01:15:33,104 --> 01:15:36,160
It's to keep me going.
Long hours I'm working.

1386
01:15:36,184 --> 01:15:38,800
"Keep you going"?
Me and you can't keep it going

1387
01:15:38,824 --> 01:15:41,840
- with you taking this crap.
- I won't do it anymore, okay?

1388
01:15:41,864 --> 01:15:44,200
- I promise.
- The other thing, what's this?

1389
01:15:44,224 --> 01:15:46,400
- I don't know.
- You don't know what that is?

1390
01:15:46,424 --> 01:15:47,840
- No.
- Are you sure?

1391
01:15:47,864 --> 01:15:50,440
- No, where was that then?
- That was in your coat pocket.

1392
01:15:50,464 --> 01:15:51,840
How did that get there?

1393
01:15:51,864 --> 01:15:54,200
This might have something
to do with it. Come here.

1394
01:15:54,224 --> 01:15:56,440
I've got something else
to show you. This is marvelous.

1395
01:15:56,464 --> 01:15:58,400
Maybe you can explain to me
what all this is.

1396
01:15:58,424 --> 01:16:02,720
Have a look at this.
What's all this then?

1397
01:16:02,744 --> 01:16:04,494
I can explain.

1398
01:16:04,944 --> 01:16:07,000
What are you doing
with guns in the house?

1399
01:16:07,024 --> 01:16:09,774
Who are you?
Al Capone?

1400
01:16:10,424 --> 01:16:12,760
They weren't nothing
got to do with Ray.

1401
01:16:12,784 --> 01:16:19,360
- Is it to do with Fat Alan?
- No, no, no, I found them, Ray.

1402
01:16:19,384 --> 01:16:23,640
Still, have you told him
about our little bit of news?

1403
01:16:23,664 --> 01:16:25,539
We're pregnant.

1404
01:16:25,744 --> 01:16:28,080
- I'm gonna have a baby.
- Are you?

1405
01:16:28,104 --> 01:16:30,600
Yeah, well, no,
Kathy's gonna have the baby.

1406
01:16:30,624 --> 01:16:35,440
- How lovely. Well done.
- We're really pleased.

1407
01:16:35,464 --> 01:16:37,000
Thought I'd ask,
you know what I mean?

1408
01:16:37,024 --> 01:16:39,161
You ain't got to ask,
you're like my partner.

1409
01:16:39,185 --> 01:16:41,440
If you wanna leave, you leave.
Still coming to my wedding?

1410
01:16:41,464 --> 01:16:44,120
- Yeah, of course.
- Gotta have a bit of the Elvis.

1411
01:16:44,144 --> 01:16:46,520
Oh, yeah, I'll do
me Elvis bit for you.

1412
01:16:46,544 --> 01:16:52,080
All right. I know you're all
gagging to get up here...

1413
01:16:52,104 --> 01:16:54,360
...for the karaoke,
which I love.

1414
01:16:54,384 --> 01:16:57,960
Raymond is all done up
in his costume.

1415
01:16:57,984 --> 01:16:59,800
What are you gonna
sing tonight, Ray?

1416
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,440
"Burning Love" with Kathy.

1417
01:17:01,464 --> 01:17:02,514
Lovely.

1418
01:17:03,224 --> 01:17:05,560
And Fat Alan, I know
what he wanted to sing tonight.

1419
01:17:05,584 --> 01:17:08,584
He wanted to sing "Fire."

1420
01:17:10,344 --> 01:17:15,384
Or "How Much Is That Doggy
In The Window?"

1421
01:17:17,104 --> 01:17:20,640
But he can't sing because
he's got a bit of darby trouble.

1422
01:17:20,664 --> 01:17:23,800
We'll enjoy ourselves tonight.
Have an old fashioned party.

1423
01:17:23,824 --> 01:17:25,720
So everyone get up here tonight
and have a sing-song.

1424
01:17:25,744 --> 01:17:28,160
Some blinding singers
here tonight.

1425
01:17:28,184 --> 01:17:30,441
I'm not having a go,
cherry tits.

1426
01:17:30,465 --> 01:17:32,320
I just feel stupid
in this outfit, that's all.

1427
01:17:32,344 --> 01:17:35,000
You look stupid,
but that's the point, ain't it?

1428
01:17:35,024 --> 01:17:37,400
- You made me wear it.
- This is all part of it.

1429
01:17:37,424 --> 01:17:41,240
- What's the matter?
- I feel stupid in this outfit.

1430
01:17:41,264 --> 01:17:43,360
- No, you look great.
- See?

1431
01:17:43,384 --> 01:17:46,440
- Do you feel good?
- I feel all right.

1432
01:17:46,464 --> 01:17:48,480
Then what's the matter with you?

1433
01:17:48,504 --> 01:17:50,680
- Get back on the karaoke.
- No, no.

1434
01:17:50,704 --> 01:17:52,880
Come on.
Everyone loves you.

1435
01:17:52,904 --> 01:17:54,240
- Do they?
- Yeah.

1436
01:17:54,264 --> 01:17:56,639
Oh, all right then.

1437
01:17:56,824 --> 01:17:59,000
Gonna sing a little song
for me and Sadie tonight?

1438
01:17:59,024 --> 01:18:00,224
Me? Nah.

1439
01:18:01,784 --> 01:18:04,881
- What do you know?
- They wouldn't have it.

1440
01:18:04,905 --> 01:18:07,030
Well, what is it?

1441
01:18:07,344 --> 01:18:08,880
"Avenues and Alleyways."

1442
01:18:08,904 --> 01:18:10,720
Tony Christie.
Lovely words. You're on.

1443
01:18:10,744 --> 01:18:13,160
John, how's your nose?
All right?

1444
01:18:13,184 --> 01:18:19,184
I want you singing tonight, mug.
Don't let me down.

1445
01:18:20,904 --> 01:18:23,801
"When You Are A King."
Will you sing it for me?

1446
01:18:23,825 --> 01:18:26,200
Let me finish this fag
and this drink.

1447
01:18:26,224 --> 01:18:29,360
Come on.
I want you to sing it now.

1448
01:18:29,384 --> 01:18:31,600
Sing it now.
Sing my song.

1449
01:18:31,624 --> 01:18:33,520
It won't take long.

1450
01:18:33,544 --> 01:18:36,544
"Tore your shirt again."

1451
01:18:36,585 --> 01:18:38,601
"Fighting in the rain."

1452
01:18:38,625 --> 01:18:40,600
"With what's his name."

1453
01:18:40,624 --> 01:18:42,800
"Shoe black on your face."

1454
01:18:42,824 --> 01:18:45,080
"You're really a disgrace."

1455
01:18:45,104 --> 01:18:47,521
"Your mama smiles all the while."

1456
01:18:47,545 --> 01:18:51,241
"Because she loves you,
she will worry so."

1457
01:18:51,265 --> 01:18:53,281
"And if you're a good
you know that."

1458
01:18:53,305 --> 01:18:56,800
"When you grow you'll be a king."

1459
01:18:56,824 --> 01:18:59,324
"Never do a thing."

1460
01:18:59,784 --> 01:19:02,440
"Four and 20 blackbirds
sing along."

1461
01:19:02,464 --> 01:19:06,544
"Royal gifts they all
will bring."

1462
01:19:06,664 --> 01:19:08,720
"When you are a king."

1463
01:19:08,744 --> 01:19:11,369
"Everywhere you go."

1464
01:19:11,864 --> 01:19:14,160
"People bowing low."

1465
01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:16,840
"Carriages to take you anywhere."

1466
01:19:16,864 --> 01:19:20,704
"Feet won't ever touch a thing."

1467
01:19:21,344 --> 01:19:24,464
"When you are a king..."

1468
01:19:29,864 --> 01:19:31,720
- All right?
- All right, mate.

1469
01:19:31,744 --> 01:19:33,280
Do you wanna... what's 'er name?

1470
01:19:33,304 --> 01:19:35,760
- No, I can't.
- Come on.

1471
01:19:35,784 --> 01:19:37,960
I'm best man.
I've got to behave.

1472
01:19:37,984 --> 01:19:40,960
- Just today.
- Yeah, all right.

1473
01:19:40,984 --> 01:19:43,884
"Everywhere you go..."

1474
01:19:50,944 --> 01:19:54,800
"Yeah, I feel like
the force of nature."

1475
01:19:54,824 --> 01:20:00,344
"Could make you sing
like a bird released..."

1476
01:20:04,345 --> 01:20:09,265
"You know it's buried
beneath your feet."

1477
01:20:29,824 --> 01:20:33,184
"For smoking all my stash."

1478
01:20:33,664 --> 01:20:36,904
"For burning all my cash."

1479
01:20:38,424 --> 01:20:41,904
"I bet you knew right away."

1480
01:20:42,704 --> 01:20:45,280
"It's all over town."

1481
01:20:45,304 --> 01:20:47,241
"That the sun's going down."

1482
01:20:47,265 --> 01:20:51,081
"On the days of your easy life."

1483
01:20:51,105 --> 01:20:52,755
Jonifer...?

1484
01:20:56,625 --> 01:21:00,041
"You don't know know
when or where."

1485
01:21:00,065 --> 01:21:03,065
"It's all over town..."

1486
01:21:05,385 --> 01:21:06,735
Gun! Gun!

1487
01:21:08,945 --> 01:21:09,945
Sadie!

1488
01:21:12,304 --> 01:21:13,304
Jesus!

1489
01:21:16,625 --> 01:21:19,000
Get out of the way!

1490
01:21:41,345 --> 01:21:42,995
Oh, my God.

1491
01:21:43,344 --> 01:21:46,480
At my wedding!
At my fucking wedding!?

1492
01:21:46,504 --> 01:21:47,504
No!

1493
01:21:49,705 --> 01:21:50,705
No!

1494
01:21:52,504 --> 01:21:53,504
Ray!

1495
01:21:55,865 --> 01:21:56,865
Ray!

1496
01:21:59,064 --> 01:22:00,064
Ray!?

1497
01:22:03,904 --> 01:22:05,584
Oh, my baby!

1498
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:12,175
Somebody help my baby!

1499
01:22:21,424 --> 01:22:25,280
I thought Ray lost
the stomach for it after that.

1500
01:22:25,304 --> 01:22:28,201
Months went by.
He spent his time in the country.

1501
01:22:28,225 --> 01:22:32,441
Grew a beard,
went all rustic, you know?

1502
01:22:32,465 --> 01:22:34,361
He struck this deal
with South London.

1503
01:22:34,385 --> 01:22:36,480
Then months went by
and nothing happened.

1504
01:22:36,504 --> 01:22:37,704
Nothing.

1505
01:22:39,944 --> 01:22:42,944
"Glory of war"... bollocks.

1506
01:22:44,425 --> 01:22:47,760
Jonny, it's Jude.
How are you doing?

1507
01:22:47,784 --> 01:22:49,640
How's it going?
I ain't seen you for ages.

1508
01:22:49,664 --> 01:22:51,600
No, listen.
I've got two minutes.

1509
01:22:51,624 --> 01:22:53,841
All the boys are going
to a fantastic party.

1510
01:22:53,865 --> 01:22:56,560
Listen to me. Wake up
because this is important.

1511
01:22:56,584 --> 01:22:58,081
All the boys are going
to a party tomorrow night.

1512
01:22:58,105 --> 01:23:00,640
Fancy dress. We're all going.
Ray wants to see you.

1513
01:23:00,664 --> 01:23:03,120
You've gotta come.
Fancy dress. Can you come?

1514
01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:04,841
Jonny?
Can you come?

1515
01:23:04,865 --> 01:23:08,961
- Tomorrow? Yeah.
- Can you get a costume?

1516
01:23:08,985 --> 01:23:11,110
All right, Jonny.

1517
01:23:11,305 --> 01:23:14,161
Well done.
Brilliant costume.

1518
01:23:14,185 --> 01:23:17,601
Thanks very much.
I had murder coming over here.

1519
01:23:17,625 --> 01:23:23,400
My car went bang and then
all the bits fell off it.

1520
01:23:23,424 --> 01:23:28,041
Don't hate me,
we're about three hours early.

1521
01:23:28,065 --> 01:23:29,681
I was going to say,
where's your Merry Men?

1522
01:23:29,705 --> 01:23:33,081
We can have a drink.
Do you fancy a quick drink?

1523
01:23:33,105 --> 01:23:34,960
I'm sorry about that, mate.

1524
01:23:34,984 --> 01:23:37,520
They'll be here
any minute, I'm sure.

1525
01:23:37,544 --> 01:23:41,080
Anyway, we can polish this off.

1526
01:23:41,104 --> 01:23:44,841
- Take a load off, Coco.
- Thanks, Mr. Hood.

1527
01:23:44,865 --> 01:23:47,120
- Have a seat.
- Or can I call you Robin?

1528
01:23:47,144 --> 01:23:49,241
Call me Robin, brother.

1529
01:23:49,265 --> 01:23:51,015
Call me Robin.

1530
01:23:55,985 --> 01:23:57,680
- Hello, son.
- All right, Ray.

1531
01:23:57,704 --> 01:24:01,184
- How's it going?
- All right.

1532
01:24:01,745 --> 01:24:06,521
That's a nice beard. What did you come as,
"Grizzly Adams," is it?

1533
01:24:06,545 --> 01:24:08,560
No, Sadie likes it.

1534
01:24:08,584 --> 01:24:11,041
Says it gives me the appearance
of being softer.

1535
01:24:11,065 --> 01:24:14,065
Like that fellow... Lear.

1536
01:24:17,904 --> 01:24:20,001
That's not fair, Ray.
I mean, to be honest,

1537
01:24:20,025 --> 01:24:22,761
we're dressed up
like a couple of nonces.

1538
01:24:22,785 --> 01:24:25,201
Look what you've come as.

1539
01:24:25,225 --> 01:24:28,321
You're a character, Jonny.
You're a throwback.

1540
01:24:28,345 --> 01:24:31,465
Pour us out a drink, Jude.

1541
01:24:31,905 --> 01:24:33,555
You got it?

1542
01:24:34,145 --> 01:24:35,145
No.

1543
01:24:35,864 --> 01:24:39,881
Ain't you got it?
What I've come as?

1544
01:24:39,905 --> 01:24:40,905
What?

1545
01:24:41,665 --> 01:24:43,015
Stuffing.

1546
01:24:47,585 --> 01:24:49,235
Yeah, yeah.

1547
01:24:56,704 --> 01:24:58,384
Fucking hell.

1548
01:25:02,105 --> 01:25:04,730
Still look all right?

1549
01:25:11,104 --> 01:25:13,979
No, you look well, son.

1550
01:25:17,105 --> 01:25:19,521
Ray, look, if this is about

1551
01:25:19,545 --> 01:25:22,641
all the coke and South London
and all that, right, yeah?

1552
01:25:22,665 --> 01:25:26,241
This is about that
then it's not me, it's Sean.

1553
01:25:26,265 --> 01:25:32,865
I mean, he's made it all up.
He's made it all up about...

1554
01:25:32,904 --> 01:25:34,779
Evening, Jonny.

1555
01:25:35,265 --> 01:25:37,481
What's going on?
What's he doing here?

1556
01:25:37,505 --> 01:25:42,321
Guess where Jude told me
to find your spank mags?

1557
01:25:42,345 --> 01:25:48,065
With guns and
knives... and my coke.

1558
01:25:49,065 --> 01:25:51,315
- Bollocks.
- Yeah.

1559
01:25:51,385 --> 01:25:53,600
What are you talking about?

1560
01:25:53,624 --> 01:25:54,624
Jude.

1561
01:25:56,945 --> 01:25:59,945
Shut up and listen to him.

1562
01:25:59,985 --> 01:26:03,585
Just shut up and listen to him.

1563
01:26:05,424 --> 01:26:08,800
Can you just explain
I'd never do anything like this?

1564
01:26:08,824 --> 01:26:13,624
Not to you.
You know, I'd be hurting you.

1565
01:26:14,744 --> 01:26:17,440
I need you to tell them
that for me.

1566
01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:19,201
All right, all right!

1567
01:26:19,225 --> 01:26:21,201
Okay, all right!

1568
01:26:21,225 --> 01:26:25,120
You're the one
who's screwed up, Jonny.

1569
01:26:25,144 --> 01:26:27,561
You "wouldn't do anything
to me"? What's that?

1570
01:26:27,585 --> 01:26:29,881
That is fucking bullshit, mate!

1571
01:26:29,905 --> 01:26:32,481
"Let me into the family.
The one thing you can do for me.

1572
01:26:32,505 --> 01:26:34,921
Introduce me to your uncle."
I introduced you,

1573
01:26:34,945 --> 01:26:36,920
and when did you think
of saying "thank you" for that?

1574
01:26:36,944 --> 01:26:39,521
- I did it for you!
- You didn't do fuck for me!

1575
01:26:39,545 --> 01:26:43,281
You did nothing but drag me
into more and more trouble!

1576
01:26:43,305 --> 01:26:46,400
- Ask him about the guns.
- What about the guns?

1577
01:26:46,424 --> 01:26:48,320
No one was fucking tooled up.

1578
01:26:48,344 --> 01:26:50,161
"Come on, hold onto this, Jude.
This one's for you.

1579
01:26:50,185 --> 01:26:52,081
Don't put your hand
where you don't want..."

1580
01:26:52,105 --> 01:26:54,441
- I was trying my best!
- Trying to do what?

1581
01:26:54,465 --> 01:26:57,121
You were dragging my family
into the fucking firing line!

1582
01:26:57,145 --> 01:26:59,401
- What about the coke?
- Yeah, and the coke!?

1583
01:26:59,425 --> 01:27:01,121
The coke, man.
He asked me to get the coke.

1584
01:27:01,145 --> 01:27:03,881
He wanted us to get the coke
because he wanted to stir it up!

1585
01:27:03,905 --> 01:27:08,345
- What about Kathy?
- What about Kath?

1586
01:27:08,624 --> 01:27:12,081
Where's Ray?
He ain't even here to argue!

1587
01:27:12,105 --> 01:27:14,441
You're a mug!
You're the fucking mug!

1588
01:27:14,465 --> 01:27:19,985
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry.
- Are you really sorry?

1589
01:27:24,345 --> 01:27:29,584
I hope you don't think it's a liberty,
me turning up like this...

1590
01:27:35,065 --> 01:27:38,665
but I thought I'd show my face.

1591
01:27:40,464 --> 01:27:44,365
Got to make the effort,
haven't you... "Jonifer"?

1592
01:27:57,825 --> 01:28:03,105
Oh... bear with me.

1593
01:28:05,545 --> 01:28:07,961
Here you are, do it.

1594
01:28:07,985 --> 01:28:10,235
Don't revel in it.

1595
01:28:21,825 --> 01:28:23,505
Don't! Don't!

1596
01:28:46,225 --> 01:28:47,275
Cheers.

1597
01:28:51,305 --> 01:28:56,465
Here you are, Ray.
Do it. Don't revel in it.

1598
01:28:59,105 --> 01:29:00,455
Oi, Yogi.

1599
01:29:04,545 --> 01:29:06,001
Good shot.

1600
01:29:06,025 --> 01:29:09,361
Ray, mate, he's still twitching.

1601
01:29:09,385 --> 01:29:11,260
- Is he?
- Yeah.

1602
01:29:18,745 --> 01:29:21,240
There you go.
Shot him up the ass.

1603
01:29:21,264 --> 01:29:22,761
You want to stuff
and mount that?

1604
01:29:22,785 --> 01:29:24,841
Look lovely on your wall.

1605
01:29:24,865 --> 01:29:27,280
Where's he from, the kid?

1606
01:29:27,304 --> 01:29:29,321
- Wrexham.
- Is he?

1607
01:29:29,345 --> 01:29:33,201
- Could he sing?
- Well, he could, Ray.

1608
01:29:33,225 --> 01:29:34,881
Bit of a crooner yourself,
ain't you?

1609
01:29:34,905 --> 01:29:37,081
- I can hold a tune, yeah.
- What that soppy song you sing?

1610
01:29:37,105 --> 01:29:39,980
I sing "Fireball XL-5."

1611
01:29:40,505 --> 01:29:42,640
"Avenue and Alleyways"
was silly Jonny's song.

1612
01:29:42,664 --> 01:29:44,164
Good tune.

1613
01:29:45,544 --> 01:29:49,264
"In the avenues and alleyways."

1614
01:29:50,185 --> 01:29:53,961
"Where a man's got to work out
which side he's on."

1615
01:29:53,985 --> 01:29:57,521
"Any way he chooses,
chances are he loses."

1616
01:29:57,545 --> 01:30:00,601
"No one gets to live too long."

1617
01:30:00,625 --> 01:30:04,105
"The avenues and alleyways."

1618
01:30:04,425 --> 01:30:08,441
"Where the soul of a man
is easy to buy."

1619
01:30:08,465 --> 01:30:11,721
"Everybody's wheeling,
everybody's stealing."

1620
01:30:11,745 --> 01:30:15,081
"All the low are living high."

1621
01:30:15,105 --> 01:30:17,001
"Every city's got 'em."

1622
01:30:17,025 --> 01:30:18,881
"Can we ever stop 'em."

1623
01:30:18,905 --> 01:30:21,030
"Some of us..."

1624
01:30:21,705 --> 01:30:23,955
"Are gonna try."