FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DID WELL, I SALUTE YOU.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DID NOT, IMAGINE HOW I FEEL.
IF I WANTED TO SQUANDER MY GIFTS,
I COULD HAVE KEPT MY JOB AT THE HOME SHOW,
HANDING OUT CHISELS.
[BELL RINGS]
MR. DICK, CAN I SEE YOU FOR A MOMENT?
WAIT FOR ME, CAPTAIN, WOULD YOU?
THERE SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME?
UH, OH, YES.
I VERY MUCH ENJOYED YOUR LECTURE ON THE PINWORM.
EMORY, YOU NEEDED TO DO WELL ON THIS TEST.
- DID YOU STUDY FOR IT? - INTENSELY, SIR.
THEN EXPLAIN YOUR GRADE.
I MEMORIZED THE WRONG CHAPTER.
NO, YOU MEMORIZED THE WRONG BOOK.
YOU REALIZE I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FAIL YOU FOR THE SEMESTER.
WHAT? BUT... I'VE BEEN HERE EVERY DAY.
SHOWING UP AIN'T ENOUGH. THIS IS BIOLOGY, NOT TRAFFIC SCHOOL.
NOW, I'D LIKE TO WASH OFF THE FORMALDEHYDE
BEFORE MY MOUNDS OF VENUS START TO SHRIVEL.
SHE CAN'T DO THIS. SHE DOES IT EVERY YEAR.
I'VE NEVER FAILED A CLASS.
SHE PICKS ONE KID TO DUMP ON AND MAKES THEIR LIFE HELL.
WHAT'S UP? BOBBI GLASS DROPPED THE AXE ON EMORY.
SO SORRY.
I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY. SHE'S GOING TO BE SORRY.
CHILL OUT. EVERYBODY KNOWS BOBBI GLASS IS A MAJOR CARPET STAIN.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
OH YEAH? WATCH ME.
[CARMEN] I NEVER WEAR BLUE, BUT I THOUGHT...
[BROOKE] THE COLORS ARE AWESOME. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE THAT.
YOU OKAY? YEAH.
THERE'S THIS BEAD STORE ON VENICE BOULEVARD...
IS THAT THE PLACE WHERE YOU PARK YOUR OWN CAR?
I GUESS.
YEAH.
I GOT ENOUGH STUFF TO MAKE ONE FOR EVERYBODY.
THAT'S AWESOME. THANKS. SURE.
NOT FOR ME, THANKS. IT IS DAZZLING ON YOU.
IT'S JUST NOT ALL OF US HAVE A SQUARE-SHAPED HEAD.
AHOY, MATES. MEET WESLEY CHU, MY ATTORNEY.
YOU MAY RECOGNIZE HIM FROM HIS LATE-NIGHT COMMERCIALS ON CHANNEL 94.
NICE TO MEET YOU. HI.
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
I RETAINED MR. CHU'S SERVICES DURING THIRD PERIOD.
HE'S TAKING MY CASE.
WHAT CASE? I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SUING THE SCHOOL.
[CHUCKLES] UH...
♪ THINK IT OVER ONCE OR TWICE ♪
♪ WHAT LASTS THE LONGEST IN THIS LIFE ♪
♪ CHARACTER OR ROCK-HARD THIGHS ♪
♪ IN THE END DO YOU BELIEVE ♪
♪ THAT BEAUTY LIES IN WHAT YOU SEE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU DO, THEN, BABY ♪
♪ YOU'VE BEEN DECEIVED ♪
♪ WELL, ME AND B ♪
♪ WE HATE SUPERMODELS ♪
♪ IT'S JUST THAT I'M TIRED OF BEING COMPARED ♪
MY CLIENT'S ACADEMIC MELTDOWN IS A DIRECT RESULT OF...
CHRONIC HARASSMENT.
AND EXACTLY WHO ARE YOU ACCUSING OF THIS HARASSMENT?
HA...
DID YOU BRING THE LIST? OH.
AH. WELL.
MISS NICOLE JULIAN, MISS MARY CHERRY, MR. SUGAR BERNARDINO,
MR. JOSH FORD, MISS BOBBI GLASS, AND...
I CAN'T READ THIS. VERA KRUPPS.
[CHU] RIGHT. THE LUNCH LADY?
WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU? SCRIMP ON THE TARTAR SAUCE?
WE'RE NOT ABLE TO DISCLOSE INFORMATION UNTIL WE'RE IN TRIAL.
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY TRIAL. I'VE HEARD YOUR COMMERCIALS.
IF YOU ARE NOT OFF MY CAMPUS IN 5 MINUTES,
YOU WILL HAVE TO HAVE MY CANE SURGICALLY REMOVED FROM YOUR BOWELS.
- SHE SHOULD BE ON THE LIST. - OUT!
KEEP IN TOUCH.
HARASSMENT IS A PRETTY SHABBY EXCUSE FOR FAILING A CLASS.
IT'S NOT AN EXCUSE. IT'S MY REALITY.
THE TAUNTING BEGINS AT 7:10, WHEN I GET ON THE BUS,
AND IT DOES NOT END UNTIL 3:05, WHEN I GET HOME.
LISTEN, EMORY...
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WOKEN AT 2:00 A.M. BY A STRANGER
THREATENING TO FORCE-FEED YOU YOUR OWN UNDERWEAR?
I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE.
THEN YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND.
PERHAPS NOT.
BUT DRAGGING THIS THROUGH A PUBLIC COURTROOM WILL NOT
AMELIORATE YOUR SITUATION.
WHAT YOU WANT IS VINDICATION WITHIN THESE HALLS.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
ISN'T IT?
- IS THAT V-I OR V-E? - IT'S REVENGE, EMORY.
IT IS A CHANCE FOR YOU TO INDICT THOSE WHO HAVE MISTREATED YOU
AND HIT THEM RIGHT WHERE THEY LIVE.
IF YOU CAN PROVE YOUR CASE IN FRONT OF A JURY OF YOUR PEERS,
I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOUR TORMENTORS ARE PUNISHED.
♪♪ [ORGAN]
HA-HA-HA!
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
NO!
[ALL SCREAMING]
NOT THE SWITCH!
ANYTHING BUT THE SWITCH!
[PRINCIPAL HALL] BUT IF YOU LOSE,
YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT GOING TO GET SMALLER.
EMORY?
EMORY!
[SAM] CARMEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH... NOTH...
I WAS SAVING PART OF MY LUNCH.
- FOR WHO? - FOR ME.
I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD EAT SOME OF IT HERE AND THE REST...
OVER THERE.
[SAM] YOU'VE GOT TEN MINUTES LEFT.
YOU'D BETTER HURRY.
I WANT TO EAT WITH YOU GUYS. I JUST FEEL LIKE...
MAYBE WE CAN HAVE YOU ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS.
I'M GONNA GET A DIET SODA. WOULD ANYBODY LIKE ANYTHING?
NO, THANKS. NO.
SEE YOU IN CLASS.
[EMORY] HARRISON, MY GOOD MAN, GREAT NEWS.
YOU'RE GONNA REPRESENT ME.
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO MR. CHU?
PRINCIPAL HALL WANTS THE TRIAL HERE,
WITH STUDENTS, IN THE CAFETERIA.
SHE SAID THAT I COULD PICK MY OWN PROSECUTOR.
- WHY ME? - YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
AND YOU DESPISE EVERYONE ON THIS LIST AS MUCH AS I DO.
MAYBE MORE.
EMORY, I CAN'T DO THIS.
WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE, WE COME OUT LOOKING LIKE LOSERS.
YOU'RE WRONG. THIS TRIAL COULD TURN THE SCHOOL UPSIDE DOWN.
PRINCIPAL HALL ALREADY SAID THAT IF I PROVE MY CASE,
THOSE FASCISTS WON'T BE ABLE TO SOCIALIZE ON THE SCHOOL GROUNDS
FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
WHAT IF YOU LOSE?
I DON'T SEE LOSING AS A POSSIBILITY SINCE I HAVE A CASE.
THAT WAS KIND OF CHILLY, BEST FRIEND.
LIKE ANYONE CAN FIND EMORY SYMPATHETIC.
I DO.
YEAH. OH, RIGHT.
AND WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE WAS SELLING THOSE BUTT BOLOS?
AND WEREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO WANTED HIS LOCKER GLUED SHUT
WHEN HE HUMILIATED CARMEN?
COME ON, YOU GUYS. EMORY BEGS FOR HARASSMENT.
NO ONE SAID HE WASN'T WEIRD, BUT HE HAS A CASE.
PEOPLE DO TORTURE HIM.
WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WHEN I START POINTING FINGERS?
- IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. - HE'S THE ONE WHO'S FLUNKING.
- THEN YOU GUYS DEFEND HIM. - FINE.
WE WILL. [HARRISON] GREAT.
SEE YA.
SO HE THROWS HIS LEGS INTO THE AIR
AND TRIES TO LOCK THIS DUDE INTO A SCISSOR HOLD.
HE CUTS THIS HUGE, SMELLY... [MAKING FLATULENCE NOISE]
[ALL] OH!
COULD WE HOLD THE TALES FROM THE WRESTLING CRYPT
- UNTIL WE FINISH THE RICE CAKE? - THANK YOU.
THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE AMAZING. OUR NEW COACH IS THE BOMB.
[SUGAR] THIS YEAR WE HAUL HOME THE GOLD.
THIS IS WHERE SUGAR D SHINES. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
Y'ALL BETTER GET OUT OF TOWN BEFORE SUGAR DADDY SMACKS DOWN.
WORD!
[PRINCIPAL HALL] MISS McQUEEN,
CAN I SPEAK TO YOU IN MY OFFICE AT THE END OF THE DAY?
WE HAVE PRACTICE.
THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT.
- MAY I ASK WHAT IT'S ABOUT? - EMORY DICK.
WHAT'S IMPORTANT ABOUT HIM?
MISS JULIAN, WHEN I SPEAK TO THE ORGAN GRINDER,
I DO NOT EXPECT THE MONKEY TO ANSWER.
MY OFFICE, END OF THE DAY.
[JOSH] FACIAL!
THAT'S SO WEIRD, YOU GUYS.
I'VE NEVER SAID TWO WORDS TO EMORY DICK.
[TOOTHBRUSH SCRUBBING]
EMORY?
UH, HEY.
UM...
LILY AND I WERE WONDERING, IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU,
WE'D LIKE TO REPRESENT YOU AT THE TRIAL.
REALLY?
UH, YEAH.
SAM WILL FOCUS ON THE INTERROGATION, AND I'LL HANDLE THE RESEARCH.
CAN WE START NOW?
UH, YEAH.
BUT AFTER YOU RINSE AND SPIT.
[LILY] THE MINUTE WE SAT DOWN WITH HIM,
ALL THESE HORRIBLE STORIES STARTED POURING OUT.
[SAM] HE DEFINITELY HAS A CASE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HARRISON'S FACE WHEN WE SUBPOENAED HIM.
DO YOU GUYS THINK I HAVE A SQUARE-SHAPED HEAD?
- WHAT? - WHAT?
NOTHING. SKIP IT.
IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO FIND AN IMPARTIAL JURY.
WHY? TONS OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN HARASSED BY EMORY'S HIT LIST.
EXACTLY. IF IT'S GONNA BE A FAIR TRIAL, WE NEED A JURY
THAT DOESN'T WANT TO SEE NICOLE AND HER POSSE BOILED IN OIL.
- SORRY, CARM. - FOR WHAT, LIL?
I KNOW SHE'S A FRIEND OF YOURS NOW.
WILL YOU STOP IT?
I DIDN'T BECOME A CHEERLEADER BECAUSE I'M A NICOLE WANNABE.
HEY, BROOKE. HEY.
WHAT'S GOING ON? IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
PRINCIPAL HALL JUST TOLD ME THAT EMORY DICK'S GONNA HAVE A TRIAL.
SHE WANTS ME TO DEFEND THE SCHOOL.
ARE YOU GONNA DO IT? ABSOLUTELY.
HE'S MADE SOME OUTRAGEOUS ACCUSATIONS AGAINST MY FRIENDS.
DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU?
BECAUSE PEOPLE HANG OUT TOGETHER
DOESN'T MAKE THEM A VICIOUS CULT.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PROVE THAT TO THE JURY.
SAM AND I ARE PROSECUTING.
OF COURSE. ANY CHANCE YOU CAN GRAB TO BREAK UP MY FRIENDS.
THAT IS NOT WHY WE'RE DOING IT. THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT EMORY.
HUNDREDS OF KIDS HAVE BEEN PERSECUTED AND NEVER SAID A WORD.
OH, PLEASE. I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE TAGGING US AS EVIL.
WHY SHOULD WE BE CONSTANTLY TARGETED AND USED AS SCAPEGOATS?
- LIKE YOU GUYS AREN'T A GROUP. - NOT LIKE YOURS.
THERE ARE PLENTY OF KIDS AT SCHOOL
WHO KNOW THAT WE DO NOT EXIST TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE MISERABLE.
- REALLY? - CARMEN, AM I RIGHT?
I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE MY BROWNIE TO GO.
YO, BRO, CHECK THIS OUT.
WE HAVE BEEN UNDEFEATED SINCE 1984.
[JOSH] LOOK AT THAT GUY. HE'S JURASSIC.
I COULD TAKE HIM EASY.
OH! UH! WATCH IT, SCRUB.
NO, YOU WATCH IT. JUDGMENT DAY IS HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M ON THE JURY, AND YOU'RE GONNA FRY.
HEY, CARMEN.
BROOKE, LISTEN...
- CARM, ARE YOU... - MY WITNESS? I THOUGHT SHE WAS.
YOU GUYS, PLEASE.
DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS. THIS IS TOO HARD.
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO CHOOSE.
THANKS.
SEE YOU IN COURT? YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT.
[♪♪ PEOPLE'S COURT THEME]
[MAN] PLAINTIFF EMORY DICK IS SUING KENNEDY HIGH SCHOOL
FOR HARASSMENT AND WRONGFUL FAILURE.
THE PARTIES WILL SETTLE THEIR DIFFERENCES HERE IN THE STUDENTS' COURT.
READY TO CALL YOUR FIRST WITNESS?
I AM, YOUR HONOR.
THE PROSECUTION WOULD LIKE TO CALL MRS. VERA KRUPPS.
MRS. KRUPPS, HOW LONG HAVE YOU WORKED AS A LUNCH LADY AT KENNEDY HIGH?
THIRTY-SEVEN YEARS.
I TOOK OFF 1973 TO HAVE MY KNEE DRAINED.
AND IN THAT TIME, DO YOU RECALL HAVING ANY ALTERCATIONS
WITH A KENNEDY STUDENT OTHER THAN EMORY DICK?
[MRS. KRUPPS] HE'S THE FIRST.
THAT KID'S A WALKING CHIGGER. HE LIVES TO TORMENT ME.
INTERESTING, BECAUSE FROM EMORY'S PERSPECTIVE,
YOU ARE THE TORMENTOR.
- WHAT IS THAT? - LASAGNA.
HMM. WHAT'S IN IT?
CHEESE, MEAT, NOODLES.
WHEN WE SAY "MEAT," CAN WE BE A TRIFLE MORE SPECIFIC?
- GROUND BEEF, FROM A COW. - WHAT PART OF THE COW?
THE PART THAT GOES IN LASAGNA. YOU WANT IT OR NOT?
NOT IF YOU WON'T IDENTIFY IT. SOME OF US CAN'T DIGEST EARS AND TAILS.
I DON'T PUT EARS AND TAILS IN MY FOOD. HOW WOULD WE KNOW?
TO YOU, ANYTHING THAT'S GROUND UP FALLS UNDER THE CATEGORY OF "BEEF."
OW!
NEXT!
MS. KRUPPS, ON THE DAY HE QUESTIONED YOUR CUISINE,
WERE THERE ANY OTHER STUDENTS IN LINE BEHIND MR. DICK?
YES.
HOW LONG WOULD YOU SAY THE PLAINTIFF INTERROGATED YOU?
LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WISH THIS SPATULA WAS A RUSTY KNIFE!
TEN MINUTES.
- MAYBE 20. - TWENTY MINUTES.
THAT'S OVER HALF A LUNCH PERIOD.
SO, IN ESSENCE, MR. DICK'S INQUIRY,
DEPRIVED MANY STUDENTS FROM ENJOYING THEIR LUNCHES.
AND THOSE STUDENTS WERE FORCED TO WOLF DOWN THEIR FOOD
AND RUSH TO THEIR NEXT CLASS
PLAGUED WITH INDIGESTION AND ANXIETY.
YOU BET!
[SAM] DO YOU RECALL THE FOOTBALL GAME PLAYED ON FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29TH?
[JOSH] SURE, AND I'D LIKE TO FORGET IT.
- WHY IS THAT? - WE GOT CREAMED.
YOU CONTEND THAT MY CLIENT RUBBED THAT DEFEAT IN YOUR FACE.
YES.
AND THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY YOU AND MR. SUGAR DADDY BERNARDINO
SUBMERGED HIS HEAD INTO A TOILET AND FLUSHED.
OBJECTION! COUNCIL IS LEADING THE WITNESS.
- OVERRULED. - [SAM] MR. FORD.
I DON'T REMEMBER THE FLUSHING PART.
LET ME REFRESH YOUR MEMORY.
FINISHED WITH THAT SHOWER? USE THAT ONE.
YOURS HAS BETTER PRESSURE.
[EMORY] COULD YOU GIVE ME A TIME FRAME?
SOME OF US AREN'T AFFORDED TARDY PRIVILEGES
BECAUSE WE CAN HURL A BLADDER OF PIGSKIN 40 YARDS.
GET LOST, GEEK.
I DON'T KNOW WHY SO MUCH VALUE IS PLACED ON ATHLETIC PROWESS.
IT'S NOTHING BUT A HOLD OVER FROM THE NEANDERTHAL DAYS.
WITH THE ADVENT OF COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY,
RUNNING AND KNOCKING SOMEONE DOWN SEEMS TOTALLY SUPERFLUOUS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DUDE, HE JUST CALLED YOU AN APE.
DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN APE? [TOILET FLUSHING]
NO! DON'T! UGH!
BUT BY DENOUNCING YOUR VALUES,
HE ALSO ATTACKED YOUR SCHOOL SPIRIT.
YOUR HONOR, OBJECTION.
WHAT DOES SCHOOL SPIRIT
HAVE TO DO WITH STICKING SOMEONE'S HEAD IN A TOILET?
MR. FORD HAS DEFENDED THIS SCHOOL'S HONOR
ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD AND THE WRESTLING MAT.
WHY SHOULDN'T HE DEFEND IT IN THE MEN'S ROOM?
HOW WAS THE PLAINTIFF AFFECTED BY THIS INCIDENT?
HE HASN'T TAKEN A SHOWER AT SCHOOL SINCE.
HE DOES MOST OF HIS BATHING IN THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN.
YOU'D SAY HE WAS TRAUMATIZED?
AT LEAST. [SAM] THANK YOU.
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.
- MR. JOHN. - YEAH.
YOU USE THE TOILETS IN THE LOCKER ROOM? NOT FOR BATHING.
[ALL LAUGHING]
OKAY.
DO YOU RECALL USING IT ON THE DAY OF THE INCIDENT?
I...
I DON'T REALLY KEEP TRACK.
SORRY.
SEVERAL WITNESSES HAVE SWORN THAT SOMEONE WAS SITTING
IN THE NEXT STALL DURING THE INCIDENT,
AND THAT SOMEONE WAS WEARING GREEN HIGH TOPS.
- HMM. - HMM.
[BROOKE] MR. JOHN, DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE SHOES?
NO.
[BROOKE] NO. YET THEY WERE FOUND IN YOUR GYM LOCKER.
DO YOU STORE OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES IN YOUR LOCKER?
OBJECTION. IRRELEVANT.
I'M JUST TRYING TO PROVE THAT EMORY DICK'S BEST FRIEND
WAS SITTING IN THE NEXT STALL AND DID NOTHING
TO STOP THAT SWIRLEE.
COULD IT BE THAT HE, TOO, FELT THAT MR. DICK GOT WHAT HE DESERVED?
IF I WAS THERE, I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
OKAY?
MR. JOHN, ARE YOU HEARING-IMPAIRED?
- NO. - WHAT?
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS EMORY UNTIL...
THE NEXT STALL?
- YOU SERPENT! - ORDER!
- JUDAS! - I SAID ORDER!
- YOUR HONOR, CAN WE HAVE... - YOU WILL ROAST IN HELL!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
[NICOLE] FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
♪ GET UP AND DO IT OH, OH ♪
♪ GET UP AND DO IT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST WANNA DO IT ♪
♪ GET UP AND DO IT OH, OH ♪
♪ GET UP AND DO IT ♪
♪ HEY, YEAH ♪
WELL, IF IT AIN'T MISS ATTICUS FINCH.
YOU WERE SO AMAZING.
BROOKY, I'M SO BRONZING YOUR SKIRT.
WE HAVEN'T WON YET, AND WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR TESTIMONY.
OKAY?
SORRY. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I'M NOT TESTIFYING. IT'S A CONFLICT OF INTEREST FOR ME.
WHAT IS? PROTECTING THE SQUAD?
BEING A GLAMAZON IS NOT JUST ABOUT PERFECTING YOUR CARTWHEEL AND MOISTURIZING YOUR KNEES.
- WE FUNCTION AS A UNIT. - OKAY, LOOK, RELAX.
SAM AND I AGREED THAT CARMEN SHOULD BE GRANTED IMMUNITY.
WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY AWKWARD FOR HER, OKAY?
[WHISPERING] DROP IT.
[BROOKE] CARM, TAKE THIS TAPE HOME AND WORK ON IT IN THE YARD.
OKAY, THANKS, BROOKE.
SOME OF US AROUND HERE GET TO HAVE THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO.
[NICOLE] AND SOME OF US SHOULDN'T BE EATING CAKE AT ALL.
SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW. GOOD LUCK.
HEY THERE.
HEY.
UM...
LOOK, I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THAT BATHROOM AMBUSH.
HOW DID THEY GET THE SHOES, HARRISON?
SOMEONE OBVIOUSLY STOLE THEM OUT OF MY GYM LOCKER.
SEE? YOU START POINTING FINGERS,
AND SUDDENLY THE SCHOOL'S THIS WAR ZONE, AND FOR WHAT?
SO EMORY CAN GET A "D" INSTEAD OF AN "F."
IS THAT ANY REASON TO DREDGE UP CRAP NOBODY REMEMBERS?
EMORY DIDN'T FORGET THIS INCIDENT, HARRISON, AND NEITHER DID YOU.
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY YOU WEREN'T TOO EAGER TO TAKE ON HIS CASE.
IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD HAVE STOPPED THEM.
I'VE SEEN SUGAR DADDY PICK UP GUYS TWICE MY SIZE AND HURL THEM...
SAM, LILY, I'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT PROVE USEFUL
FOR TOMORROW'S QUESTIONING.
CAN I TALK TO YOU?
I'M HERE TO SEE SAM AND LILY. EMORY...
SHOULD WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?
FORGET IT. STAY. TALK. I DON'T EXIST.
I CAN GIVE YOU THE EXACT TIME AND DATE RELATIONS BROKE DOWN
BETWEEN ME AND MISS GLASS.
LISTEN, EMORY,
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?
WHY WOULDN'T I?
WE WERE BEGINNING TO WONDER IF IT'S WORTH IT.
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY HURT.
I'M NOT HURT. I'M DISAPPOINTED.
I CAN HANDLE THAT. I'M USED TO THAT.
I DON'T ASSUME ANYMORE THAT PEOPLE
ARE GOING TO UNDERSTAND ME OR LIKE ME OR EVEN NOTICE ME.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HEARD.
OKAY.
YOU PLAN ON SLEEPING TONIGHT? EVENTUALLY.
I WOULD THINK THAT AFTER TODAY, YOU'D WANT TO WALK AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
I'VE JUST BEGUN.
[SCOFFING]
SAM, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT HARRISON IS STILL ONE OF YOUR HEROES.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT HARRISON. ISN'T IT?
SAM, WHAT HE DID IN THAT BATHROOM WAS PATHETIC
BUT TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE.
WHEN IT CAME DOWN TO IT, HARRISON COULDN'T RISK HIS OWN HEAD
TO SAVE EMORY'S.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE... SAM, FACE IT, OKAY?
DEEP DOWN, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE LIKED. OKAY?
EVEN YOUR CLIENT.
THE SAD THING IS...
THAT EMORY WILL LIKELY END UP MORE ALONE THAN WHEN WE STARTED THIS THING.
I WOULD HATE TO SEE THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO YOU.
GIRLS, I THOUGHT THAT COURT WAS ADJOURNED AT 4:00.
[BROOKE] IT WAS.
I WAS JUST, UM,
THIRSTY.
GOOD NIGHT.
WHAT DID I MISS?
THE RETURN OF EVA PERON.
SAM, YOU GOTTA GET SOME SLEEP.
I CAN'T. TOMORROW'S REALLY IMPORTANT.
I'M PUTTING MISS GLASS ON THE STAND.
SHE HAPPENS TO BE MY TEACHER, TOO.
DO YOU HAVE TO?
YEAH. SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S FLUNKING HIM.
IF I DO A GOOD JOB TOMORROW, SHE'LL PROBABLY FLUNK ME, TOO.
DO YOU THINK THAT THIS KID WAS TRULY WRONGED?
YEAH, I DO.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SEE THIS THROUGH,
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
THANKS.
IN THE 12 YEARS
YOU'VE TAUGHT BIOLOGY AT THIS SCHOOL, HOW MANY STUDENTS HAVE YOU FAILED?
I DON'T KEEP A SCOREBOARD.
WELL, LET'S REMIND YOU.
SINCE 1988,
YOU HAVE FAILED... 47 STUDENTS.
THAT'S NEARLY FOUR PER YEAR.
IS THAT ALL?
YOU PRIDE YOURSELF ON BEING A TOUGH TEACHER, DON'T YOU?
OBJECTION. SHE'S BADGERING THE WITNESS.
I AM TRYING TO PROVE THAT THE WITNESS HAS A REPUTATION
SHE WORKS VERY HARD TO MAINTAIN.
SUSTAINED.
AM I ON TRIAL FOR FAILING HIM?
MISS GLASS...
THIS IS NOT ABOUT MY REPUTATION.
THIS IS ABOUT A LAZY STUDENT
WHO WAS UNPREPARED AND CHRONICALLY DISRUPTIVE.
I DON'T THINK ANYONE DESERVES TO HAVE
THEIR HAIR STYLED IN A LATRINE,
BUT I CAN'T MAKE SPECIAL RULES FOR A KID
WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN TO FINISH AN ALTOID.
BOTTOM LINE IS, WE HAVE TO DO THE WORK.
IF A STUDENT ASKS FOR HELP, ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE IT?
ALWAYS.
REALLY. TELL ME, SIR.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS SONG?
♪ OH, SAY HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY SWEET GYPSY ROSE ♪
- DO YOU, MISS GLASS? - NO.
ARE YOU SURE?
ACCORDING TO A MRS. DOROTHY LUCRETS,
YOUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR,
YOU BLAST THIS SONG DAY AND NIGHT, SOMETIMES UNTIL 5:00 IN THE MORNING.
DOROTHY DRINKS. AND HE'S A SNEAK!
[SAM] IS HE? OR IS HE JUST A STUDENT LOOKING FOR EXTRA HELP?
[MISS GLASS] ♪ SWEET GYPSY ROSE ♪
♪ HERE'S A PICTURE WHEN SHE WAS MY SWEET MARY JO ♪
♪ NOW SHE'S GOT RINGS ON HER FINGERS ♪
♪ AND BELLS ON HER TOES ♪
♪ SAY HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY SWEET GYPSY ROSE ♪
♪ OH, I GOT... ♪
[GASPING]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION ABOUT TOMORROW'S TEST.
- DID YOU GET A STUDY GUIDE? - YES, BUT...
THEN READ IT.
IT'S ALL THERE. OKAY.
IS THAT TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN?
BECAUSE I SAY THE RECENT VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC SPECIAL.
TONY'S THE BOMB.
READ YOUR GUIDE!
THREE DAYS AFTER THIS, YOU CAUGHT EMORY WHISTLING THAT TUNE IN YOUR CLASSROOM.
DO YOU RECALL HOW YOU REACTED TO THAT, MISS GLASS?
PERTURBED.
YOU WERE A LITTLE MORE THAN PERTURBED, WEREN'T YOU?
♪♪ [EMORY WHISTLING]
OH, YES, INDEEDY DO, THAT IS NICE.
IF YOU'RE DETERMINED TO ENTERTAIN THE TROOPS, MR. DICK,
WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR BUNNY HOP FOR THE CLASS?
COME ON. DON'T BE SHY.
DANCE, DICK. DANCE!
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
[BROOKE] IF THIS TEACHER WAS PUT ON THE STAND TO BE MOCKED...
I AM NOT MOCKING.
I AM DRAWING A PARALLEL BETWEEN THE WITNESS AND MY CLIENT.
BOTH ARE KNOWN AROUND THIS SCHOOL AS FEARLESS, FLAMBOYANT ECCENTRICS,
AND I BELIEVE THAT EMORY DICK AND HIS TEACHER
HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN MISS GLASS CARES TO ADMIT.
ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH, MISS GLASS?
ISN'T IT?
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
I AM STILL THE TEACHER HERE.
AND IF I WANT TO, I CAN SQUASH HIM.
AND YOU, LIKE A BUG!
ORDER. ORDER! MISS McPHERSON, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS?
NO, YOUR HONOR, I AM DONE.
OH.
YOU DON'T NEED TO MENTION HIS SHAMPOO BUCKET, OKAY?
JUST CONFIRM THAT HE WAS BAITING HIM.
OKAY, GOT IT. DO ME A FAVOR? UH-HUH.
MAKE SURE I'M ON TIME FOR WRESTLING PRACTICE.
YOU'LL BE FINE. THINK OF IT AS A WARM-UP.
COOL. GREAT.
PRINCIPAL HALL? YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
OH, YES, I DID. COME IN, MICHAEL.
SIT DOWN.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
OH, UH, WELL, YOU'RE LIKE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CALLS ME MICHAEL.
EXCEPT FOR MY AUNT LOTTIE, AND SHE STILL BUYS ME LEGOS.
MICHAEL...
I SPOKE WITH THE WRESTLING COACH A MOMENT AGO, AND I'M...
I'M AFRAID YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ON THE TEAM THIS YEAR.
WHAT? IS...
IS THIS BECAUSE OF THE TRIAL?
- NO, NO - BECAUSE I'M INNOCENT. OKAY?
ME AND MY BUDDY RAZZ THE DUDE, BUT WE'RE INNOCENT.
MICHAEL, THE COACH ISN'T GOING TO USE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR SIZE.
EVIDENTLY, IN PAST YEARS, THERE WERE STUDENTS IN YOUR WEIGHT CLASS.
BUT THIS YEAR, THE COACH IS AFRAID
THAT YOU WILL ENDANGER THE SAFETY OF ANOTHER STUDENT
OR EVEN POSSIBLY YOURSELF.
WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME HIMSELF?
HE WANTED TO, BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW YOU'D HANDLE IT.
SO I SAID I WOULD
SINCE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS
TO BE EXCLUDED BECAUSE OF A DISABILITY.
I'M NOT DISABLED.
- I WASN'T IMPLYING... - I'M NOT DISABLED, OKAY?
LOOK, I...
I'M FAT.
I AM NOT DISABLED.
- MICHAEL... - HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME.
- I'M NOT DISABLED. - MICHAEL,
I WANT YOU TO REGARD THIS AS A TEMPORARY SETBACK.
YOU CAN CONQUER THIS.
AND I WILL BE THERE TO HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN.
I MEAN THAT.
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME.
[DOOR CLOSING]
HEY.
HOW'S IT GOING IN HERE?
I THINK YOUR SIDE'S WINNING.
MY SIDE?
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHICH SIDE I'M ON?
I DON'T.
DO YOU?
YOU KNOW, FROM WHAT I SAW YESTERDAY,
YOU'RE ONE TO TALK.
[SAM] DO YOU RECALL WHAT THE BUTTON SAID?
NO.
THE BUTTON SAID, "KISS ME, I'M OOZING."
DO YOU RECALL HELPING MY CLIENT MAKE THIS BUTTON?
NO.
DO YOU RECALL TELLING HIM TO WEAR IT? NO.
SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT THIS WHOLE BUTTON THING NEVER HAPPENED.
IS THAT IT?
I DON'T REMEMBER IT.
AND I SUPPOSE YOU DO NOT REMEMBER THE SWIRLEE INCIDENT, EITHER.
WHAT PART OF THE QUESTION DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
I UNDERSTOOD IT. I'M NOT STUPID.
ANSWER THE QUESTION, PLEASE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
YES, I STUCK HIS SNOTTY LITTLE FACE IN THE TOILET.
AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN, BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL GOOD. OKAY?
- YOUR HONOR... - LET HIM FINISH.
YOU THINK HE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS DUMPED ON BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE LOOKS?
DO YOU?
WELL, HE'S NOT!
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M FINISHED.
WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE OUR STORIES SOUND MORE SYMPATHETIC, RIGHT?
I BROUGHT A VERY SYMPATHETIC OUTFIT.
AND I'M REALLY GOOD AT MAKING MYSELF SOB AND WAIL.
ONCE, AT MY UNCLE ROY'S FUNERAL,
IT TOOK THREE COUSINS AND AN ORGANIST TO CARRY ME OUT.
MARY CHERRY, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL HAS SEEN YOU WEEP OVER SWEAT STAINS.
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT MORE THAN TEARS. OKAY?
YOU GUYS, I THOUGHT WE WERE PRACTICING AT LUNCH.
GET THE POM-POMS OFF THE BRAIN.
WE'RE THIS CLOSE TO NEVER BEING ABLE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER AT SCHOOL AGAIN.
- WHAT HAPPENED? - SUGAR DADDY WENT SNAKE PIT.
CARMEN, IT WAS A DISASTER.
WOW. I'M SORRY.
IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE PRACTICING IN THE LOCKER ROOM ON MY OWN.
[MARY CHERRY CLEARS THROAT]
CARMEN, UM...
WAIT.
STAY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
CLOSE THE DOOR.
[BAILIFF] DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH?
[MARY] I DO.
MISS CHERRY, ARE YOU FINISHED TAKING THE OATH?
YES, I AM, YOUR HIGHNESS.
OOH! HEY THERE. LOOKIN' SHARP.
IS THAT A NEW HAIRCUT?
[MS. ROSS] MISS CHERRY, SIT DOWN.
CAN YOU TELL THE JURY HOW YOU KNOW THE PLAINTIFF?
ABSOLUTELY. EMORY AND I ARE LAB PARTNERS IN BIOLOGY.
WE'VE PLAYED DOCTOR TOGETHER ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION.
IT'S TRUE.
[MARY CHERRY LAUGHING]
OH, GOSH. THIS IS VERY HARD.
OH, GOD, NO! OH, GOD, HELP ME!
OH, GOD! OH!
EMORY!
NO! OH, GOD!
[MS. ROSS] ALL RIGHT, LADIES. SHOW'S OVER.
YOU'VE CALLED ALL OF YOUR WITNESSES,
AND IT'S TIME TO GIVE CLOSING ARGUMENTS.
ACTUALLY, YOUR HONOR, I HAVE ONE MORE WITNESS I'D LIKE TO CALL.
WHAT?
[MS. ROSS] WHO?
IT'S A CHARACTER WITNESS. SHE'S DECIDED TO FORFEIT HER IMMUNITY
BECAUSE SHE FEELS STRONGLY ABOUT THIS CASE.
CALL THE WITNESS. YOUR HONOR...
THE DEFENSE WOULD LIKE TO CALL CARMEN FERRARA.
[SAM] BUT, YOUR HONOR, WE MADE A...
LET HER DO IT. I WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.
THANK YOU.
MISS FERRARA, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN EMORY DICK?
SINCE THE THIRD GRADE.
DO YOU RECALL A LETTER THAT MR. DICK WROTE ON YOUR BEHALF EARLIER THIS YEAR?
HE WROTE A LETTER EXCUSING ME FROM A TEST AND...
FORGED MY DOCTOR'S SIGNATURE.
WHAT WAS THE REASON HE GAVE TO EXCUSE YOU FROM THAT TEST?
HE SAID THAT I HAD A DISTENDED ANUS.
[BROOKE] AND HE CHARGED YOU FOR THIS FORGED LETTER.
YEAH. SO HE WAS ABLE
TO NOT ONLY HUMILIATE YOU BUT ALSO PROFIT FROM IT.
AND ALL THIS HAPPENED BEFORE YOU BECAME A GLAMAZON, CORRECT?
YEAH.
SO, HIS BEHAVIOR HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR CURRENT STATUS.
AT THE TIME, YOU CONSIDERED HIM TO BE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS, CORRECT?
WE HUNG AROUND WITH THE SAME PEOPLE.
STILL?
YEAH.
DID YOU TAKE ACTION AGAINST HIM FOR THAT LETTER?
- NO. - WHY NOT?
BECAUSE HE'S EMORY. HE DOES STUFF LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.
WHY? COULD IT BE THAT THE PLAINTIFF IS ASOCIAL?
OR PERHAPS HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO ALIENATE.
OR MAYBE HE JUST SIMPLY ENJOYS BEING A FREAK.
WHICH IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, HE PROBABLY WANTS THE ATTENTION. WE ALL DO.
[BROOKE] PLEASE DISREGARD THAT LAST STATEMENT.
MISS FERRARA'S NOT THE ONE ON TRIAL.
YES, I AM, BROOKE.
WE ALL ARE.
EMORY IS NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DO SOMETHING STUPID AT SCHOOL
JUST TO GET PEOPLE TO NOTICE HIM.
LAST MONTH, I SPENT A WEEK EATING NOTHING BUT GRAPEFRUITS
AND PRAYING THAT I WOULD WAKE UP WITH MY HIP BONES
PRESSING AGAINST THE FRONT OF MY SKIRT.
JUST LIKE YOURS DO.
BUT THEN I REALIZED MAYBE I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT.
THE SUBJECT IS EMORY DICK, MISS FERRARA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM AND WHERE I BELONG.
AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO BE SITTING AT EMORY'S TABLE,
WHETHER PEOPLE THINK THAT HE IS A FREAK OR NOT.
THESE DAYS, IF YOU'RE ALONE AT LUNCH, OR...
WEAR TOO MUCH BLACK, OR FAIL TWO TESTS,
THEY OPEN AN F.B.I. FILE ON YOU.
THEY AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME YOU'RE DANGEROUS, AND...
THAT'S TOO BAD, BECAUSE I KIND OF ENVY EMORY.
HE LIVES IN HIS OWN UNIVERSE, AND HE DOESN'T CARE IF ANYBODY EVER VISITS.
MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO.
YOUR HONOR, I WOULD LIKE TO DISMISS THIS WITNESS.
WHY? BECAUSE I WON'T DUMP ON SOMEBODY I CARE ABOUT JUST SO I CAN WEAR THIS UNIFORM?
DON'T GET ME WRONG, BROOKE. BEING A CHEERLEADER MEANS...
SO MUCH TO ME.
BUT I MISS THE PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THINGS LIKE
WHAT SHAPE YOUR HEAD IS.
I THINK THAT I'D RATHER GO BACK TO CHEERING FROM THE STANDS.
THAT'S WHY I'M QUITTING THE GLAMAZONS.
HEY, BROOKE.
HEY.
I KNOW I CAVED, AND I'M REALLY SORRY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THE GUY THAT BRINGS US DOWN.
KNOW WHAT? IT'S OKAY.
I'M STARTING TO THINK SPLITTING US UP
MIGHT NOT BE SUCH A TRAGEDY.
MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE SOMETHING DOES HAPPEN TO US WHEN WE GET TOGETHER.
I MEAN, WE SAY THINGS AND...
DO THINGS...
THAT ARE JUST...
I DON'T KNOW.
I, UM...
THE NEW WRESTLING COACH KICKED ME OFF THE TEAM TODAY.
WHAT?
WHY?
I'M TOO FAT.
TURNS OUT THEY DON'T HAVE A WEIGHT CLASS FOR FREAKS.
THEY CAN'T DO THAT.
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THEM. I WILL FIGHT THEM.
WE CAN'T HAVE A TRIAL EVERY TIME SOMEONE GETS SUCKER PUNCHED.
YOU KNOW, OR...
THIS IS SOMETHING I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT MYSELF.
IT'S ME...
AGAINST ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YEAH.
IT'S OKAY.
LISTEN UP. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BRIEF YOU RIGHT NOW,
SO I WANT EVERYBODY BACK IN THIS ROOM AT 7:45 SHARP.
DOES THAT WORK WITH YOUR SCHEDULES?
WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?
PRESENTING GIFTS OF ANY KIND IS CALLED TAMPERING WITH THE JURY.
I AM SURE THAT SHE DIDN'T REALIZE...
OH, PLEASE! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MARY CHERRY HERE.
THAT CHILD ONCE TRIED TO BRIBE ME WITH A HOT TUB.
- SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW? - I'M CALLING A MISTRIAL.
YOU'RE GONNA START THIS THING ALL OVER AGAIN.
WHAT IF I DROP THE CHARGES?
WHAT?
CAN WE HAVE A MOMENT WITH OUR CLIENT, PLEASE?
ARE YOU CRAZY? WE ARE SO CLOSE TO WINNING THIS.
WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING IF THIS WAS FOR NOTHING?
IT'S NOT.
WHEN WE STARTED, YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED. I SAID JUSTICE.
ACTUALLY, YOU SAID MISS GLASS'S HEAD ON A STICK.
CLOSE ENOUGH.
BUT I REALIZE NOW THAT
MAYBE ALL I REALLY WANTED
WAS FOR SOMEONE IN THIS SCHOOL TO, I DON'T KNOW, RESPECT ME.
THE WAY CARMEN DOES.
LIKE YOU GUYS.
IF I CAN WALK AWAY FROM THIS WITH AN "F"
AND THREE PEOPLE THAT I CAN TRUST,
I'D FEEL LIKE I WON.
YOU DID.
SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING.
EMORY, YOU GOT A MINUTE?
SORRY, I DON'T.
I PREFER TO SPEND MY TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO OPENLY DESPISE ME.
LOOK, I MADE A MISTAKE.
BUT IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN, I'D ACT DIFFERENTLY.
- I WOULD. - [EMORY] WHY?
IS IT SUDDENLY COOL TO BE MY BEST FRIEND?
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
THAT KIND OF THREW ME.
BUT PUTTING YOURSELF ON TRIAL WAS A BOLD MOVE. I'M IMPRESSED.
I NEVER COULD HAVE DONE THAT.
HEY, UH...
YOU WANT TO GET A BURGER OR SOMETHING? I'M STARVED.
I COULD USE SOME NOURISHMENT.
ARE YOU PAYING? FOR EVERYTHING.
IN THAT CASE, PERHAPS WE COULD STOP AT DINO'S LASERDISCS.
BECAUSE I HAVE MY EYE
ON THE DIRECTOR'S CUT OF THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT MOVIE'S A PIECE OF...
DON'T QUESTION ME. I'M YOUR HERO.
RIGHT.
HE IS SO WEIRD.
[GROANING]
[BOTH GIGGLING]
♪ TO BEND AND NOT TO BREAK ♪
♪ CHIN UP, TRY NOT TO QUAKE ♪
♪ I'M GRINNING ON THE OUTSIDE ♪
♪ BUT I'M A WRECK INTERNALLY ♪
♪ OOH, LA LA LA LA ♪