1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:05,604
NEXT UP, WITH THEIR SUMMER
BREAK REPORT, BROOKE McQUEEN
AND SAM McPHERSON.
2
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,511
HI.
3
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:16,348
WELL, AS, UH, MOST OF YOU KNOW,
OUR SUMMER STARTED STRANGELY.
4
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,650
WHEN MY REAL MOM,
WHO LEFT WHEN I WAS EIGHT,
5
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,086
SHOWED UP AND STOPPED
THE WEDDING OF OUR PARENTS.
6
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:24,656
THINGS WERE A LITTLE TENSE
AT FIRST, BUT THEN
THE HEALING BEGAN.
7
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,591
JUST CALM DOWN.
8
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:30,462
I AM TIRED OF WALKING
AROUND HERE ON EGGSHELLS
SO THE GIRLS WON'T GET UPSET!
9
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,631
[JANE] THEY SHOULD BE UPSET.
WE ALL SHOULD.
10
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,099
[MIKE] WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
11
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,601
BLAME MY LAWYER, WHO I FIRED.
12
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BABY, WE JUST HAVE TO GO ON.
13
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,306
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK
DOWN THAT AISLE AGAIN,
WHEN APPARENTLY,
14
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,408
I DON'T KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
15
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,276
I'M NOT HIDING
ANYTHING FROM YOU.
16
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,679
[JANE] YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING
FROM YOURSELF.
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00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,115
YOU HAVE FEELINGS
FOR THE FIRST WOMAN YOU LOVED.
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I LOVE YOU. I HAVE NOTHING
BUT PITY OR DISDAIN FOR KELLY.
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00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,455
YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST THAT.
COME ON, WHERE YOU GOING?
20
00:00:56,523 --> 00:01:01,760
I AM GONNA GO AND GRAB
A CONE AT 31 FLAVORS
AND HAVE MY EGGS FROZEN,
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00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:05,430
BECAUSE BY THE TIME
THIS MESS IS FIXED,
I'LL BE FRIGGIN' 80!
22
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:09,968
[BROOKE] MY MOM'S SECOND
HUSBAND, THE RICH ART DEALER
IN SAN FRANCISCO,
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WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT
MY MOM HAD A HIDDEN DAUGHTER
AND WAS STILL MARRIED,
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HE WAS COOL ABOUT IT.
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UH, YEAH, I MEAN,
HE FLEW TO PUERTO RICO AND
GOT DIVORCED THAT VERY DAY,
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LEAVING KELLY FREE TO SPEND
HER SUMMER HERE IN LOS ANGELES.
27
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,917
AND READY TO PAY FOR HER
MISTAKES.
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♪ I GOTTA STEP UP
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♪ CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M HANGING BY A THREAD?...
30
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THIS SUMMER'S EVENTS ALSO SERVED
TO BRING ME AND MY MOM CLOSER.
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WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN CUT
THE WEDDING DRESS OFF
AT THE KNEE
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AND USE IT
AS A COCKTAIL THINGY.
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THANKS, DEAR ABBY,
I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH
PROBLEM SOLVING FOR ONE YEAR.
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OKAY, LOOK, YES,
I RAN AWAY AND FOUND HER, BUT...
35
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MOM, I'M NOT THE ONE
WHO HID THEIR DIVORCE PAPERS.
36
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- [SIGHS]
- [SAM] YOU HAVE TO DEAL.
37
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:01,586
KELLY'S HERE FOR THE SUMMER
AND THEN SHE'S GOING BACK
TO HER BUSINESS
38
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,855
IN SAN FRANCISCO AND...
39
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:08,427
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW HUMILIATING THIS IS FOR ME?
40
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,195
I WAS STANDING UP THERE
AT THE ALTAR
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FOR THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE,
AND SHE WALKED IN
AND STOPPED IT.
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I FELT LIKE I WAS RIGHT BACK
IN HIGH SCHOOL AND ONCE AGAIN,
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I WAS THE WALLFLOWER WITH
ACNE THAT DIDN'T GET
ASKED TO THE DANCE.
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STANDING THERE, IN FRONT OF ME,
WITH THE MAN I LOVE,
45
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:25,043
WAS THE BLONDE HOMECOMING QUEEN
I COULDN'T COMPETE WITH.
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DAMN, DO THESE ISSUES NEVER END?
I AM 36 FOR GOD'S SAKE.
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00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,382
WHEN DO YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE ON SOLID GROUND,
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD?
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[SAM] AS A FAMILY, WE LEARNED
THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL
WAS TO COMMUNICATE.
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[KNOCK ON DOOR]
50
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,499
OH, UM, IT'S MOM.
I GOTTA GO.
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00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,771
- HI!
- HI, BABY.
52
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,173
SO, UM, ARE WE STILL
GONNA GO TO A MOVIE?
53
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,942
KELLY, CAN I, UH,
GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?
54
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,945
- I'D KILL FOR
A GLASS OF CHARDONNAY.
- [MIKE] KELLY?
55
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:05,183
I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH
DRINKING AND DRIVING,
WHEN MY DAUGHTER IS IN THE CAR.
56
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,319
- DON'T BE NASTY.
- THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE.
57
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,888
I DON'T CARE. YES, SHE HURT YOU.
YES, SHE HURT ME.
58
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:13,257
SHE'S SORRY.
SHE'S TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, BLOOD?
59
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:18,062
- I WILL NOT BE
SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT.
- EASILY REMEDIED. COME ON, MOM.
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[DOOR SLAMS]
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- ALL IN ALL...
- A PRETTY UNEVENTFUL SUMMER.
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♪ THINK IT OVER ONCE OR TWICE
63
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,889
♪ WHAT LASTS THE LONGEST
IN THIS LIFE
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00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:49,561
♪ CHARACTER
OR ROCK-HARD THIGHS
65
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,763
♪ IN THE END DO YOU BELIEVE
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00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,765
♪ THAT BEAUTY LIES
IN WHAT YOU SEE
67
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♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU DO THEN BABY
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♪ YOU'VE BEEN DECEIVED
69
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♪ WELL ME AND B
70
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,542
♪ WE HATE SUPERMODELS
71
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:13,918
♪ IT'S JUST THAT I'M TIRED
OF BEING COMPARED ♪
72
00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,261
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
73
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COME ON, SUG,
WE'RE GONNA BE LATE
FOR PRACTICE.
74
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,139
WHY ARE YOU
BEING A WOODPECKER?
75
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:38,342
UPPERCLASSMEN TRADITION SAYS
THAT IF YOU ANNOUNCE
YOUR ROMANTIC AFFECTIONS
76
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:44,883
ON THE FRONT OF A TREE,
LEGEND HAS IT YOU AND
YOUR BOO WILL LAST A LIFETIME.
77
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,886
NOT TO BURST YOUR BUB, SUG,
BUT THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP.
78
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,390
- WHEN DID YOU BECOME THE CYNIC?
- AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR
AND OVER THE SUMMER.
79
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,725
THEN MY PARENTS
CALLING IT QUITS...
80
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,329
I DON'T KNOW IF
RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE PERMANENT.
MAYBE IT'S BETTER TO JUST
81
00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:01,165
ROAM THE SUBURBAN
COUNTRYSIDE LIKE A ROGUE
BACHELOR LION, YOU KNOW?
82
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,069
YO, I THINK YOU BEEN WATCHING
WAY TOO MUCH ANIMAL PLANET.
83
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:07,372
SO, UM, YOU AND EXQUISITE
GOT IT GOING ON, HUH?
84
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:11,175
THAT'S WHY I'M STANDING HERE
CARVING ON THIS MIGHTY TREE
85
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,412
FOR ALL PLAYERS TO
SEE MY MESSAGE:
86
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HANDS OFF. SHE'S ALL MINE.
87
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,952
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
88
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:28,760
I WISH WE COULD HAVE
HUNG OUT MORE OVER THE SUMMER.
THE MONTHS FLEW BY.
89
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,262
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
90
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,132
YOU HAD TO BOND
WITH LA MÈRE, AND I APPROVE.
91
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,401
YOU'RE GONNA MISS HER
WHEN SHE GOES BACK, HUH?
92
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,403
SO MUCH, NIC. I CAN'T THINK
ABOUT IT OR ELSE I'LL CRY.
93
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,673
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT'D YOU DO OVER THE BREAK?
94
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:45,176
NOT MUCH. YOU KNOW,
GOT MY ARMS LASERED, BROKE UP
A COUPLE OF MARRIAGES.
95
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:49,414
HEY, SPAM. I THOUGHT
WE WERE HAVING TUNA BUT IT'S
YOU WAFTING THROUGH THE HALLS.
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00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:53,184
HEY, SATAN, NICE IMPLANTS.
BROOKE, ARE YOU GONNA
BE HOME FOR DINNER TONIGHT?
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00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:55,420
WE HAVE TO GO OVER
THE GLAMAZON TRYOUT ROUTINE
98
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,456
AND I WAS GONNA GO SHOPPING WITH
MY MOM, I SHOULD BE HOME BY SIX.
99
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,659
- WHY?
- IT'S IMPORTANT
THAT WE AT LEAST
100
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:04,262
GIVE THE ILLUSION OF
GETTING ALONG SO THAT MOM
AND MIKE THINK THEY CREATED
101
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:07,599
- THIS FAMILY...
- SAM, WE ARE GETTING
ALONG NOW, OKAY?
102
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,134
- RIGHT. SIX, A FAMILY THING?
- OKAY.
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00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,336
COOL. OKAY, THANK YOU.
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[LAUGHTER]
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- HI.
- HEY.
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00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,343
- [HARRISON] GOOD NEWS.
- THE DOCTOR'S VERDICT IS IN,
107
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,746
AND I AM NOT WITH CHILD.
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00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:26,718
- OH, THANK GOD.
- I KNOW. [CHUCKLES]
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00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:31,122
[SIGHS] WISH MY PROBLEMS
COULD BE ALLEVIATED WITH
A SIMPLE MEDICAL TEST.
110
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,625
- JANE AND MIKE
ARE STILL FIGHTING?
- YEAH.
111
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:37,461
THE CHAOS IS HIDEOUS.
I HAVE TO MAKE THIS WORK
AT HOME, YOU GUYS.
112
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,430
I FEEL RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS DRAMARAMA.
113
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,433
- WELL, YOU KINDA ARE, SAM.
- [SAM] THANKS, HARRISON.
114
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:46,104
- YOUR OBSERVATION
BATHES ME IN RELIEF.
- GUYS, CAN WE PLEASE CHEER UP?
115
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,206
LOOK, I KNOW IT'S
THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL,
116
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,642
BUT THERE'S REASON
TO GO ON LIVING BECAUSE...
117
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,644
[BOTH] NO MORE MISS GLASS.
118
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:56,581
I HEARD THAT AFTER
HER AUTOPSY WITHOUT ANESTHESIA,
SHE'S IN A NURSING HOME.
119
00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:01,319
AND I HEAR THAT
THE NEW CHEMISTRY TEACHER IS,
LIKE, THE COOLEST FREAK.
120
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,488
HE'S GOT ALL THESE GREAT,
WHACKED, PROGRESSIVE RULES,
LIKE...
121
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,992
NO HOMEWORK. EVER.
122
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,660
AND NO TESTS.
123
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,596
I WANT EVERYBODY
TO PARTICIPATE MONTESSORI STYLE.
124
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,098
- THE MR. DAVE WAY.
- [HARRISON] I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
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00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,434
- IT'S A COOL TEACHER.
- FINALLY, ZIT ZITLER,
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00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:19,638
SOMETHING WE CAN AGREE ON.
AFTER THE HORROR SHOW
OF BIO GLASS,
127
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,973
IT IS SUCH A RELIEF TO HAVE
A NORMAL INSTRUCTOR.
128
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,174
[LOUD KNOCKING]
129
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,443
[MAN] MR. DONALD DAVE.
130
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:27,212
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
FOR TRAFFICKING IN CRUSH VIDEOS
131
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,149
TO SUBSIDIZE YOUR PALTRY
TEACHER'S SALARY.
LET'S GO, BUDDY.
132
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:34,986
I REPEAT, COUNSELING
WILL BE PROVIDED FOR ANYONE
WHO FEELS TRAUMATIZED
133
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,155
BY THE ARREST
AND/OR HOBBIES OF MR. DAVE.
134
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:41,359
[CLEARS THROAT] BUT WHO'S
GONNA BE OUR NEW CHEMISTRY
TEACHER NOW?
135
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,728
[MISS GLASS]
TAKE A WILD GUESS!
136
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:51,469
[DRAWN OUT] I'M BACK.
137
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,605
IT'S ALIVE.
138
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:57,308
- BOBBI, ARE YOU
SURE YOU'RE UP TO...
- HAVE COLOSTOMY BAG,
139
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,978
WILL TRAVEL,
VICE PRINCIPAL CALVIN KRUPPS.
140
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:04,949
AS SOON AS YOU CALLED WITH
WORD OF MR. DAVE'S MONSTROUS
PERVERSIONS,
141
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:09,053
I REALIZED WHAT MY KIDS
NEED IS A CONSERVATIVE
CHEMISTRY TEACHER,
142
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,454
NOT A LOONY LIBERAL.
143
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,292
AT EASE.
144
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,095
[GLASS] WELL,
145
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,431
MY LITTLE CHEMO KIDS,
THOUGHT YOU COULD BREAK ME,
DIDN'T YOU?
146
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,000
THINK AGAIN!
147
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,370
[GLASS] NOW,
FOR THE GOOD NEWS.
148
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,139
MAMA'S GOT A NEW FINGER.
149
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,108
[METAL RINGING]
150
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,342
[GIRL] OOH!
151
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,744
AND NOW, FOR THE BAD NEWS.
152
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,881
YOU'RE GONNA PAY. BIG TIME.
153
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,250
CLAW?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO US?
154
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,886
FIVE HOURS OF HOMEWORK A NIGHT,
TWO ESSAYS A WEEK,
155
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,956
AND EVERYBODY STARTS
OFF THE YEAR WITH A SOLID F.
156
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,926
- CLAW, THAT IS NOT FAIR.
- THERE'S A REASON YOU'RE CALLED
157
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,528
"GENERATION E."
158
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,464
YOU'VE HAD IT TOO... EASY.
159
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:58,570
NO WARS TO FIGHT, NO BRAS
TO BURN, SWEET LEAFY SHADE
OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM,
160
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,440
WHERE THERE SHOULD BE
CHARACTER-BUILDING
105-DEGREE HEAT.
161
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,843
[WHISPERS] EXCUSE ME.
162
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,278
[PHONE DIALS, RINGS]
163
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:10,181
- YEAH, HI,
SNUFFY IN MAINTENANCE.
- [ON PHONE] THIS IS HIM.
164
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,383
RIGHT, THIS IS
MS. BOBBI GLASS.
165
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:17,055
I WANT THAT 200-YEAR-OLD OAK
PARKED OUTSIDE MY CLASSROOM
CUT DOWN, PRONTO.
166
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,590
- [ON PHONE] YES, SIR.
- OKAY, OKEY-DOKE,
167
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,060
LOVE TO THE WIFE AND KIDS,
MM-HMM, BUH-BYE.
168
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:26,998
- SIR! THAT'S THE FOREVER TREE.
- NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.
169
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,033
LIFE IS CHANGE,
CHANGE IS GOOD.
170
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,870
THAT TREE COMING DOWN
TO MAKE FIREWOOD IS A METAPHOR
171
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:35,706
- YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO.
- MISS GLASS?
172
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:39,510
YOU CANNOT
IN GOOD CONSCIENCE CUT DOWN
173
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,581
A 200-YEAR-OLD,
LEAFY, SPIRITUAL BEING,
174
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:46,151
WHO SOME DRUIDS WOULD SAY
HAS A VERY RICH EMOTIONAL LIFE.
175
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,853
HEY, NUT JOB.
176
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,388
WATCH ME.
177
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,224
[LUNCHROOM CHATTER]
178
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,994
ISN'T IT ROMANTIC HOW SUGAR
STOOD UP TO THE CLAW WHEN
179
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,662
HE SAID SHE'D TAKE DOWN
THAT TREE OVER HIS DEAD BODY,
180
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,265
'CAUSE HE'D CARVED HIS
AND EXQUISITE'S NAMES IN IT.
181
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,467
IT WASN'T ROMANTIC,
IT WAS SUPERSTITION.
182
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:07,939
HE THOUGHT IF THE TREE
WAS GONNA FALL DOWN, HIS
RELATIONSHIP WOULD FALL DOWN.
183
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:11,142
ARE YOU SAYING YOU
DON'T THINK A BOND BETWEEN
TWO PEOPLE CAN LAST?
184
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,612
- HI, WHAT ABOUT US?
- [SCOFFS]
185
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,282
LET'S SAY I DON'T WEAR
ETERNITY COLOGNE
FOR MEN ANYMORE.
186
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:21,086
WE HAD A DATE AFTER SCHOOL.
187
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,789
MY MOM WASN'T GONNA
BE HOME AND I WANTED
TO BE WITH YOU. REMEMBER?
188
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,525
I WANTED TO ALL SUMMER.
I BOUGHT D'ANGELO'S NEW CD,
189
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:31,963
- WASHED MY SHEETS, I MEAN...
- LOOK, MY MOM WANTED TO SEE ME
190
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:35,634
AND SHE'S GOING BACK
TO SAN FRANCISCO SOON.
191
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:38,236
[STAMMERING] I WOULD
FEEL GUILTY IF I CANCELED.
192
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,606
- GUILTY, WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
193
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,009
LOOK, I FEEL LIKE...
194
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,045
...MAYBE SHE LEFT
BECAUSE OF ME.
195
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,614
BECAUSE OF SOMETHING
THAT I DID.
196
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:52,917
- I DON'T WANNA DISAPPOINT HER.
- WHAT ABOUT DISAPPOINTING ME?
197
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,220
YOU CANCELED
ON ME 50 TIMES THIS SUMMER.
198
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:58,622
I CAN UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOUR MOM,
BUT CAN'T YOU
EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND
199
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:02,626
WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH?
MY FRIENDS LAUGH HOW
I'M TOTALLY MANIPULATED BY YOU.
200
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,528
I'M NOT MANIPULATING YOU.
201
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:07,165
JOSH, I'M JUST TRYING
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.
202
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:11,335
WELL, LET ME BE HONEST
WITH YOU, BROOKE.
I WANT CONSTANCY AND DEPTH.
203
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:15,073
A RELATIONSHIP.
IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR NAME
CARVED ON A TREE WITH ME, FINE.
204
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,742
I'LL JUST
FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO DOES.
205
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,978
I'M OUT.
206
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:27,986
EXQUISITE, IN PREP FOR
THIS WEEK'S GLAMAZON TRYOUTS,
207
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:31,355
BE A LOVER AND CUT MY CARROT
INTO PIRANHA-SIZE MORSELS.
208
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:35,559
IS IT JUST ME, OR SHOULDN'T
YOU STILL BE LOCKED UP
IN A SANITARIUM?
209
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,662
NIC, BROOKIE AND I ARE
RUNNING THE GLAMAZONS NOW.
210
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:42,801
SO IF YOU WANT TO
UP YOUR SOCIAL ANTE,
BE PREPARED TO RUB MY BELLY
211
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,337
LIKE THE POPULARITY BUDDHA
I HAVE BECOME.
212
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:49,473
OH, HEY, NIC.
LET'S LEAVE THE WANNABE HERE
213
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,542
AND GO OVER OUR MOVES
FOR THE TRYOUTS.
214
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:55,146
EXQUISITE, I PITY WOO.
215
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,817
THANK GOODNESS I NEVER
AGAIN HAVE TO GO THROUGH
THE NERVE-WRACKING TEST
216
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:03,721
OF "WILL I MAKE IT? WHAT TRYOUT
AUDITIONS THOUGHT WILL I HAVE?"
217
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:07,491
MARY CHERRY, YOU'VE GOT THIRD
SLOT THIS YEAR AFTER
POPPITA FRESH. GODSPEED.
218
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,960
[LAUGHING] NIC, YOU JOKER.
219
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,563
AS LONG AS I'M THE CO-ARBITER
OF COOL AT THIS SCHOOL,
220
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,232
NO ONE'S SOCIAL POSITION
IS SAFE.
221
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,968
NIC! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY
EXPECT ME TO...
222
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:21,339
DANCE? NO, WE GAVE UP
THAT DREAM LONG AGO.
223
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:25,276
SO, NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME
I MUST GO VOMIT AND
POST THE AUDITION LIST.
224
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,281
WELL, CALVIN KRUPPS WAS NO HELP.
HE ALREADY HAS HIS AX OUT.
225
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,716
HE TOLD SUGAR AND ME
THAT THE FOREVER TREE'S ROOTS
226
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:36,154
- ARE STRANGLING
OUR SEPTIC SYSTEM.
- WOW. LILY, THAT SUCKS.
227
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,089
YOUR FIRST CAUSE OF THE YEAR
SHOT DOWN.
228
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,891
WHATEVER, JUST ENJOY
THE SHOCKING PAIRING
OF SD AND LIL.
229
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,995
TOO BAD WE CAN'T SEE
THAT FORBIDDEN
SOCIAL DUO PLAY ITSELF OUT.
230
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,530
[SUGAR DADDY] YO, LIL.
231
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,934
- IT'S HAMMER TIME.
- OH, BUT YOU CAN.
232
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,569
- OH, NO.
- THAT'S ODD.
233
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,872
PLEASE, YES. YES.
234
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,315
UM, DO YOU HAVE A PEN
I COULD BORROW?
235
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,784
NO, SORRY. I LEFT MY
HAND SANITIZER AT HOME, HON.
236
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,888
SWEET, CONFLICTED CARMEN.
237
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,824
YOU QUIT THE SQUAD LAST YEAR
DURING THE TRIAL OF EMORY DICK
238
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,994
BRINGING MUCH SHAME
TO MY HOUSE OF RAH-RAH.
239
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:20,799
I QUIT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
BUT, IN RETROSPECT,
MAYBE TOO HASTILY.
240
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:23,568
- REALLY? AND WHY IS THAT?
- BECAUSE EVER SINCE I QUIT,
241
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,838
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TELLING ME
HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO THEM
THAT I WAS A GLAMAZON.
242
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:31,509
I SHOWED THEM THAT YOU
COULD BREAK THE MOLD AND
STILL SUCCEED.
243
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,744
I ALSO REALIZED HOW MUCH FUN
I HAD DANCING.
244
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:36,147
RHYTHM IS A DANCER,
YOU ARE NOT.
245
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,250
FYI, WANNABE, I VOTE ON
WHO GETS IN AND I WOULD NEVER
CAST MY VOTE
246
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,552
FOR A CREEPY LOSER
LIKE YOU, CARM.
247
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:46,457
WELL, BROOKE ALSO CASTS A VOTE
AND, UM, BROOKE LIKES ME.
248
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:50,361
BROOKE IS PREOCCUPIED WITH
HER FAMILY. SCHOOL MATTERS
SUCH AS THESE, I'M SURE,
249
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,363
SEEM UNIMPORTANT TO HER
BY COMPARISON.
250
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:56,367
AND THIS GIVES MY FEROCIOUS
WILL TO POWER ROOM TO
DOMINATE AND DEVOUR.
251
00:13:56,436 --> 00:14:01,272
I DON'T CARE WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING. I'M GONNA
SIGN UP AND I'M GONNA TRY OUT,
252
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:05,343
AND MAKE THIS A GOOD YEAR.
FOR ME AND EVERYBODY ELSE
AT THIS SCHOOL.
253
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:10,013
YOU'RE RIGHT, CARM.
YOU DO DESERVE A SHOT.
GOOD LUCK.
254
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,715
- THANK YOU.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
255
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:15,086
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE.
YOUR CLUMSY DANCING OR
THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
256
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,622
WHEN I POST THE LIST
AND YOUR NAME'S NOT ON IT.
257
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:25,496
[BROOKE AND KELLY CHATTING]
258
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,766
HI, DAD.
259
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,269
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
HOME AT SIX. IT IS 11:00.
260
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:34,372
- I'M SORRY, WE LOST
TRACK OF TIME...
- BROOKE!
261
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:38,008
COULD YOU GIVE ME A MOMENT
WITH YOUR MOTHER, HERE?
262
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,945
SURE, DAD.
263
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,047
- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU, TOO.
264
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,085
GOOD NIGHT, DAD.
265
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,956
I'M SORRY
I BROUGHT HER HOME AT 11:00.
266
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,591
YOU CAN BLAME ME, NOT HER.
267
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:57,662
AH, KEL, WHAT'S FIVE HOURS
OF SELFISHNESS... CORRECTION.
268
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,198
- NINE YEARS OF IT.
- TOUCHÉ.
269
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:04,235
EVERY TIME I HEAR HER
CALL YOU "MOM"
A CHILL RUNS DOWN MY SPINE.
270
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:08,639
THEN I REMEMBER
THERE'S DIFFERENT TYPES
OF MOTHERS, AREN'T THERE?
271
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:12,743
I THINK YOUR TYPE IS
MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO
THE GARDEN VARIETY ALLEY CAT,
272
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,879
THAT DUMPS HER LITTER
IN THE GUTTER
AND LEAVES THEM DEFENSELESS
273
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:18,749
SO SHE CAN RUN OFF AND SQUEEZE
IN HER NEXT MATING OPPORTUNITY.
274
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,620
I'M SORRY, THAT WAS NASTY,
I'M...
275
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,856
I'M NOT EMOTIONAL BECAUSE
OF WHAT YOU SAID, MIKE.
276
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:33,264
I'M CRYING BECAUSE I REALIZE
WHAT I WALKED AWAY FROM.
277
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,084
[MIKE] JANE, YOU ARE
OVERREACTING.
278
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:58,189
WELL, LET ME SEE. I SAW YOU,
I SAW HER, I SAW HER LIPS
COLLIDE WITH YOURS.
279
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,291
I THINK I'M BEING
PRETTY DAMN RATIONAL.
280
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,394
SHE KISSED ME, OKAY?
I ENDED IT AS
SOON AS IT STARTED.
281
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,464
YOU CAN'T WALTZ OUT OF HERE.
SAM IS MY DAUGHTER TOO.
282
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,533
I AM NOT HAVING
THIS CONVERSATION
IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER.
283
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:13,804
OH, HELLO, I AM RIGHT HERE.
THIS INVOLVES ME AND BROOKE.
284
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:17,341
- WHAT IS GOING ON?
- WELL, APPARENTLY,
A CHANGE OF HEART.
285
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,878
BROOKE, AN UPDATE.
FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU
FOR BLOWING OFF DINNER.
286
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:24,848
SECONDLY, MY MOM
SAW YOUR MOM KISSING MIKE.
287
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,585
WHY WAS MOM KISSING YOU,
YOU'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER?
288
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,355
- NO. IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING.
- MM-HM. ON MY PART.
289
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:35,293
ONE THAT LASTED AN ENTIRE YEAR.
COME ON, SAM, LET'S GO. MOVE IT.
290
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,361
- [JANE] MOVE IT. MOVE IT, SAM.
- [SAM] BYE.
291
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,700
DAD...
292
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,537
[JANE] THIS IS NOT
A HORRIBLE THING.
293
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,207
I WOULD RATHER LEAVE NOW
KNOWING HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HER
294
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:51,242
THAN DIVORCE HIM
IN THREE YEARS.
295
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,412
NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME
TO THROW MYSELF INTO
MY REAL ESTATE CAREER.
296
00:16:54,480 --> 00:17:00,051
YOU KNOW, MAKE A KILLING,
GET BOTOX, GO ON DATES,
BEFORE MY CHANCES ARE USED UP.
297
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,453
- [SIGHS]
- [BED RUMBLING]
298
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,855
[BELL DINGS]
299
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,260
- DID YOU HEAR ONE WORD I SAID?
- NO.
300
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,597
I WAS TOO BUSY RENAMING
THIS PLACE IN THE WINDMILLS
OF MY MIND.
301
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,932
GUESS WHAT CATCHY NAME WON?
CHEZ CRACKWHORE.
302
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000
THIS IS JUST UNTIL
I FIGURE OUT OUR MONEY.
303
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,337
[STAMMERING] OUR?
304
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,105
HOW NOVEL, YOU FINALLY USE
A PRONOUN THAT INVOLVES ME.
305
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:25,476
- BE MAD AT ME,
THAT'S FINE. GO ON.
- I AM MAD.
306
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,447
HOW MANY TIMES AM I GONNA
HAVE TO UPROOT MYSELF AND
FOLLOW YOU ON A WHIM?
307
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:33,184
US MOVING OUT OF THAT HOUSE
IS YOUR DREAM, SAM.
308
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,486
YOU DON'T LIKE BROOKE,
YOU DON'T LIKE MIKE.
309
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:39,323
I DO LIKE THEM.
THEY WERE HOME TO ME.
310
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,033
I'M SORRY HE KISSED HER.
311
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,503
YOU DESERVE BETTER,
I KNOW THAT.
312
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,507
THESE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS
HAVE JUST BEEN EMOTIONAL
FOR ALL OF US.
313
00:17:56,576 --> 00:18:02,313
I THINK THAT MIKE WAS
JUST MOMENTARILY CONFUSED
AND ONCE KELLY LEAVES...
314
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:06,284
[JANE] WAKE UP, SAM.
SHE NEVER LEFT HIS HEART.
315
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:09,920
AND HE NEVER
STOPPED LOVING HER.
316
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,523
WHICH MEANS THAT HE
PROBABLY NEVER LOVED ME.
317
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:17,428
[SOBBING] THE CONCEPT OF US
LIVING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY
IS A DREAM.
318
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,498
IT'S TIME TO WAKE THE HELL UP
AND FIND SOMETHING REAL.
319
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,874
IS THE WAY KELLY MAKES ME FEEL,
THE WAY BROOKE USED TO
MAKE YOU FEEL?
320
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,043
LIKE YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
321
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,880
- [WHISPERS] YEAH.
- [SIGHS]
322
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:41,585
- BUT I GOT OVER IT.
- I DON'T THINK I WILL.
323
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,491
[SIGHS]
324
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,636
WE HAVE TO TALK.
325
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:01,071
[GLASS] AFTER CLASS,
McBUSYBODY. SIT DOWN.
326
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,774
- SUGAR DADDY BERNARDINO.
- [SD] HERE.
327
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,876
LILY IRRITATING.
328
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,778
I'M SORRY, ESPOSITO.
329
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:11,449
- [LILY] HERE.
- YOU'RE NOT HERE, YOU'RE THERE.
330
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:15,553
- WHERE IS THERE?
- [LILY] THERE IS
IN THE FOREVER TREE.
331
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:20,558
WHERE SUGAR AND I WILL LIVE
LIKE FOREST GREENPEACERS
UNTIL WE RECEIVE
332
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:24,462
YOUR PLEDGE THAT THIS LIVING,
FEELING ORGANISM
333
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:27,698
WILL NOT BE CHOPPED DOWN.
334
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:32,937
MISS LILY "BUTTERFLY HILL"
ESPOSITO, I'M AFRAID
YOU'RE TOO LATE.
335
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,373
I PUT A CHAINSAW ON MY
SEARS CHARGE THIS MORNING.
336
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,776
THE GROUNDKEEPERS CUTTING
THAT NUISANCE DOWN AT FOUR.
337
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,480
CORRECTION, I'VE NOTIFIED
VP CALVIN KRUPPS OF
OUR VEGETATION VIGILANCE.
338
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:46,550
HE'S CANCELED THE ORDER
TO HARVEST. IT SEEMS
HE CAN'T CUT DOWN THE TREE
339
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,219
'CAUSE WE COULD DIE.
340
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,754
WE STAY, THE TREE STAYS.
341
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,096
WELL, MARY CHERRY.
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
ON A FOAM MAT SOMEWHERE,
342
00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:02,266
SUMMER-SIZING THOSE ABS
IN ANTICIPATION OF TRYOUTS?
343
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,502
HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME TRY OUT?
344
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,805
ME? MARY CHERRY?
WE'RE FRIENDS.
345
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,674
IT'S CALLED "SHOW BUSINESS,"
NOT "SHOW FRIENDS."
346
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:15,379
ALL RIGHT, PLAN B.
WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE
TO GET ME ON THAT SQUAD?
347
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:19,450
EVERYBODY'S GOT A PRICE,
EVEN YOU, WHORE OF BABYLON.
348
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:22,185
FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION
DEMANDS, BACK-SEAT TEASE.
349
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:23,954
I DID SOME
DOODLING IN STUDY HALL.
350
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,557
NOW, OBVIOUSLY I'M A GIRL
IN NEED. HOWEVER,
351
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:32,295
SEEING AS WE HAVE HISTORY,
I'VE DECIDED TO LOWER
THE LIST OF DEMANDS FROM 300
352
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,064
TO ONE.
353
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,500
GIVE ME YOUR KNEE.
354
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:40,804
NEVER. I DRAW THE LINE
AT AMPUTATION.
355
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:43,374
BUT, UM, I TELL YOU WHAT.
356
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:46,376
I'LL GIVE YOU MY UTERUS
AND WE'LL JUST CALL IT A DAY,
OKAY?
357
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:50,280
NO TRADE.
I NEED THE CARTILAGE.
358
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,351
AS YOU KNOW, MARY CHERRY,
I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
ON MY KNEES.
359
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:59,056
AND THIS SUMMER I REALIZED
THAT MY RIGHT KNEECAP MADE
A HORRIFIC CREAKING NOISE.
360
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,324
[CREAKING]
361
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,393
OH! UGH!
362
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:07,064
THAT MADE ME COVER MY EARS
IN HORROR AND SHAME.
363
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:09,933
UH, NIC, A LOGIC MOMENT
FOR YOU.
364
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:13,604
UH, IF I GIVE YOU MY KNEE,
HOW WILL I CHEER?
365
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,873
HOW WILL I EVEN TRY OUT?
366
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:19,042
WELL, YOU MADE IT LAST YEAR
WITH YOUR JAW-DROPPINGLY BAD
367
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,179
"PIG ON NYQUIL SLOPPING TOWARDS
THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE" ROUTINE.
368
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:25,048
- WHY BREAK A WINNING STREAK?
- POINT TAKEN.
369
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:29,052
I CANNOT GO ON AS CO-CAPTAIN
OF THE GLAMAZONS WITH
A DOLBY SOUND RIGHT KNEE
370
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,889
THAT'S THREATENING TO CRACK.
371
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,824
YOU GIVE ME YOURS,
372
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:38,396
OR YOUR GLAMOROUS CAREER
WILL BE COLDER THAN
LAUREN HOLLY'S.
373
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:45,502
SUGAR, KUDOS.
THIS PLACE IS STUNNING.
374
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:48,338
AND MY BERET IS OFF TO YOU
FOR BUILDING IT WITH BAMBOO.
375
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:51,709
A NATURALLY RECYCLABLE MATERIAL
CURRENTLY IN TIKI VOGUE.
376
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:54,978
- [LILY] NICE.
- THE BEST THING
ABOUT A FOREVER CAUSE
377
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:58,248
IS NOT THE EXTRA BOOTY I'M
GONNA GET FROM EXQUISITE. NO.
378
00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:01,752
IT'S THE COMMON GROUND
I FOUND UP IN THE AIR
WITH A GIRL WHO I THOUGHT
379
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,922
WAS A HAIRY ARMPIT,
CAUSE-OF-THE-WEEK, LOSER FREAK.
380
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,791
SUGAR, YOU'RE SWEET.
381
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,327
YOU KNOW WHAT AMAZES ME?
382
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:12,229
IT HAS BEEN TWO HOURS
AND GLASS HASN'T DONE SQUAT.
383
00:22:12,297 --> 00:22:14,865
MAYBE SHE REALIZED THE POWER
OF PERMANENCE AND STABILITY.
384
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,303
[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]
385
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,805
HOT DANG, IT'S THE MEDIA.
386
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:27,011
OUR LITTLE TREE'S FIGHT
FOR SURVIVAL HAS GONE GLOBAL.
GLASS CAN'T TOUCH US NOW!
387
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:32,415
- THAT DOESN'T
LOOK LIKE THE MEDIA.
- OH, MY GOD.
388
00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:34,451
IS THAT A MILITARY HELICOPTER?
389
00:22:37,423 --> 00:22:39,423
[WHISTLING, EXPLOSIONS]
390
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:42,760
[LILY] OH, MY GOD.
391
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,262
WHAT IS THIS? IT STINGS.
392
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:47,264
[CLAW] ATTENTION,
TROUBLEMAKERS.
393
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:51,935
WHAT YOU'RE TASTING AND
FEELING IN YOUR LITTLE
TREE-TERRORIST QUARTERS IS DDT,
394
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:55,139
A CHEMICAL AGENT,
COMPLIMENTS OF MY BROTHER ROCK.
395
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:58,942
USED IN THE GULF WAR
TO HELP SADDAM TO SURRENDER.
396
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,779
COME DOWN NOW
FOR YOUR FREE CANCER CHECK.
397
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:04,481
YOU'LL NEVER FORCE OUR HAND,
CLAW!
398
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,756
[SAM] SORRY, BROOKE?
399
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:13,857
SORRY. BROOKE?
400
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:16,293
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?
401
00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:20,564
I'M SORRY. I'M FREAKED
AND DISTRACTED ABOUT
MY MOM AND DAD MASHING.
402
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:23,066
[STAMMERING] I JUST,
I THOUGHT THEY WERE OVER.
403
00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:26,469
- [BROOKE] ARE YOU OKAY?
- NO, NO, I'M NOT OKAY.
404
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:30,340
I PROMISED MYSELF
I WASN'T GONNA CRY TODAY.
405
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:33,511
HERE'S OUR NUMBER.
MIKE DOESN'T KNOW
WHERE WE ARE. JUST...
406
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:38,281
GIVE HER A DAY TO COOL OFF.
I'LL MAKE SURE SHE'S THERE
TOMORROW AT EIGHT.
407
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:43,020
YOU MAKE SURE HE CALLS.
WE CAN PATCH THIS UP, BROOKE,
I KNOW IT.
408
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,824
OKAY.
409
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:48,792
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
410
00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:55,065
EXQUISITE.
411
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:58,501
TWINKIES.
412
00:23:58,570 --> 00:24:00,704
EXQUISITE.
413
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:05,676
[SIGHS] MAN, SOME PEOPLE
ARE SO LUCKY THEY CAN
SLEEP THROUGH STRESS.
414
00:24:05,745 --> 00:24:07,544
- [SNORING]
- [SAM] HOW ARE YOU?
415
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:12,416
NOT GOOD. DDT SCARE ASIDE,
I THINK I HAVE SCURVY,
416
00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:15,953
MY JOINTS ACHE FROM LACK
OF MOBILITY AND I'M A WRECK
WAITING FOR THE CLAW
417
00:24:16,022 --> 00:24:18,355
TO MAKE HER NEXT STRIKE.
YOU?
418
00:24:18,424 --> 00:24:20,157
HORRIBLE BUT HOPEFUL.
419
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:23,460
BROOKE AND I ARE
WORKING TOGETHER TO GONNA
PATCH THIS FAMILY UP.
420
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:24,795
- I KNOW IT.
- SAM.
421
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:28,899
MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU
FACED THE FACT THAT MAYBE
422
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:33,003
THE MERGER BETWEEN THE McQUEENS
AND McPHERSONS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
423
00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:36,273
I MEAN, CULTURALLY,
FAMILIES ARE A DYING BREED.
424
00:24:36,342 --> 00:24:40,610
SOMETHING LIKE 65 PERCENT
OF ALL MARRIAGES ENDS
IN DIVORCE.
425
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,181
"TILL DEATH DO US PART"
SHOULD BE REPLACED IN
THE AMERICAN LEXICON
426
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:47,084
BY "TILL SOMETHING BETTER
COMES ALONG OR I GET BORED."
427
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:51,021
WELL, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE
IN THE POWER OF FOREVER,
WHY ARE YOU UP IN THIS TREE?
428
00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:53,724
THIS TREE HAS ROOTS, SAM.
429
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:57,961
IF YOUR FAMILY DOESN'T,
I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE
430
00:24:58,030 --> 00:25:01,464
NO AMOUNT OF WISHING
OR PLOTTING CAN KEEP IT GROWING.
431
00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:10,373
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I USED TO PLAY WITH MY BARBIES.
432
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:14,144
AND YOU WOULD BE
MALIBU SKIPPER.
433
00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:16,313
AND DADDY WOULD BE KEN.
434
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:19,082
AND YOU WOULD MOVE BACK
INTO THE DREAMHOUSE.
435
00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:24,622
I WAS SO HAPPY.
436
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:30,493
[LAUGHS] WELL, DREAMHOUSE
IS AN APPROPRIATE NAME HERE.
437
00:25:30,562 --> 00:25:32,596
BUT YOUR FATHER'S WITH JANE.
438
00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:33,897
JANE MOVED OUT.
439
00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:42,039
YOU LOVE DADDY... DON'T YOU?
440
00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:48,111
YOUR FATHER WOULD NEVER
FORGIVE ME. ESPECIALLY
AFTER WHAT'S HAPPENED NOW.
441
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,681
I DID.
442
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:55,118
IF WE WORK ON HIM TOGETHER,
HE COULD SEE THAT PEOPLE CHANGE.
443
00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:35,125
[HORN]
444
00:26:39,398 --> 00:26:40,931
[DIALING]
445
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,732
[PHONE RINGING]
446
00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:45,202
OPERATOR, I'D LIKE YOU
TO CHECK A NUMBER.
447
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:49,339
IT MIGHT BE OUT OF ORDER.
IT'S A PHONE THAT'S
IN A CRACK DEN.
448
00:26:51,676 --> 00:26:53,877
- CAN YOU GIVE ME THAT PHONE?
- NO.
449
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,846
I'M EXPECTING A CALL.
450
00:26:56,481 --> 00:26:58,381
OH.
451
00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:03,320
- SAM, HE'S NOT GONNA CALL.
- [SIGHS]
452
00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:06,356
HE WILL CALL, MOM.
HE WANTS TO, I KNOW IT.
453
00:27:06,425 --> 00:27:10,093
NO, I KNOW IT'S SAD,
BUT EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS
A BEGINNING AND AN END,
454
00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:11,929
AND WE HAD OUR END.
455
00:27:11,997 --> 00:27:14,497
HEY, COME ON. LET'S GO AND
GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
456
00:27:14,566 --> 00:27:17,767
YOU'LL NEED YOUR ENERGY IF
YOU'RE COMING TO WORK WITH ME
TOMORROW.
457
00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,702
YEAH, COME ON.
458
00:27:24,243 --> 00:27:26,310
IN ONE HOUR, I'LL HAVE
A NEW RIGHT KNEE CAP.
459
00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:29,079
AND ONCE AGAIN,
I'LL BE PERFECT.
460
00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:32,049
- THANKS, MARY CHERRY.
- AS YOU KNOW, NIC,
461
00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:34,985
I'LL DO ANYTHING
TO BE POPULAR.
462
00:27:35,054 --> 00:27:36,386
ANYTHING!
463
00:27:36,455 --> 00:27:40,557
HEY, UM, IS THAT ANESTHETIC
DARVON DRIP TAKING EFFECT, HON?
464
00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:43,726
COUNT BACKWARDS FROM THE NUMBER
OF YOUR LAST SEXUAL PARTNER.
465
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:45,862
[SIGHS]
466
00:27:45,931 --> 00:27:49,032
NINE HUNDRED NINE, 908...
467
00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:54,604
YEAH. I'LL DO ANYTHING
TO BE POPULAR.
468
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:57,474
EXCEPT VANDALIZE
MY STUNNING BEAUTY.
469
00:27:57,543 --> 00:28:00,377
NOW, WHOSE KNEECAP CAN I BUY,
470
00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:03,580
THUS REELING IN STATUS
YET REMAINING SCAR-FREE?
471
00:28:03,648 --> 00:28:06,750
[NURSE] GIRLS,
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR SURGERY.
472
00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:12,289
OH, NURSE JANE, I'LL GIVE YOU
ONE MILLION DOLLARS FOR
YOUR KNEECAP.
473
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:15,592
[KRUPPS] OH, DON'T LOOK SO DOWN
IN THE DUMPS, BOBBI.
474
00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:18,295
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'VE PULLED
THE PLUG ON THE WNBA.
475
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:22,966
JUST WHEN I CAN ALMOST TASTE
VENGEANCE BECAUSE OF
MY ANTI-PROTEST TECHNIQUES,
476
00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:25,435
THOSE TREE-DWELLING
TROUBLEMAKERS REVEAL THEMSELVES
477
00:28:25,504 --> 00:28:27,670
TO BE AS STRONG AND STUBBORN
478
00:28:27,739 --> 00:28:30,007
- AS I AM.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
479
00:28:30,075 --> 00:28:32,342
ANTI-PROTEST TECHNIQUES?
480
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:34,678
NOTHING TO WORRY YOUR
SUMMER BLOND HEAD ABOUT.
481
00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:38,882
FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS,
I'VE BEEN HAVING A LITTLE FUN
WITH SLEEP DEPRIVATION.
482
00:28:38,951 --> 00:28:41,251
[SNORING]
483
00:28:45,024 --> 00:28:47,857
[LOUD ROCK MUSIC BLARES]
484
00:28:52,431 --> 00:28:55,499
BOBBI, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO
THAT PLAYING HEAVY METAL MUSIC,
485
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:59,002
A VIET CONG TORTURE TECHNIQUE,
IS TAKING IT TOO FAR.
486
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:02,772
BUT THE KIDS LOVE THE HEAVY
METAL MUSIC. THEY DO.
487
00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,374
NOW, BOBBI,
488
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:07,845
WHY IS KENNEDY HIGH PAYING
FOR YOUR INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH
LAXATIVES?
489
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,313
THOSE ARE FOR MY PET
HOMING PIGEONS
490
00:29:10,382 --> 00:29:15,018
WHICH I ASSURE YOU,
CALVIN KRUPPS, ARE USED
STRICTLY FOR SCHOOL BUSINESS.
491
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:18,889
[CRIES OUT IN DISGUST]
492
00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:22,993
I TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY TO
TREAT THE SITUATION WITH
RESPECT AND DISCRETION.
493
00:29:23,062 --> 00:29:25,529
WE DON'T WANT
THE COPS INVOLVED.
494
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,898
- HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, BOBBI?
- MY HMO DOESN'T COVER LITHIUM.
495
00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:31,101
ALL RIGHT, I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
496
00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:34,471
IF WE WANT TO CHOP THAT TREE,
WE'VE GOT TO CHOP
THOSE KIDS AT THE KNEES
497
00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:37,607
AND RATIONALLY,
HIT THEM WHERE THEY LIVE.
498
00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:39,609
[JANE] NOW, ISN'T THIS FUN?
499
00:29:39,678 --> 00:29:46,450
YOU... ME...
MY THRIVING NEW CAREER.
500
00:29:46,518 --> 00:29:48,051
HMM?
501
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,521
- HOW DO I LOOK?
- VERY AMERICAN BEAUTY, MOM.
502
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:54,157
[DOORBELL RINGS]
503
00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:56,259
OUR FIRST LOOKY-LOO.
504
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:06,669
JANE.
505
00:30:06,738 --> 00:30:09,206
UH, BROOKE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
506
00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:12,609
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY
NOT HERE FOR THE FREE COOKIES.
507
00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:17,481
I'M MOVING HERE, JANE.
508
00:30:20,185 --> 00:30:23,019
WELL, LET ME SHOW YOU
THE HOUSE.
509
00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:38,034
ATTENTION, PROTESTERS,
THIS IS VICE PRINCIPAL KRUPPS
510
00:30:38,103 --> 00:30:40,303
AND I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS.
511
00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:43,707
THIS IS IT, SD.
THE VOICE OF REASON.
512
00:30:43,775 --> 00:30:46,075
WE DID IT. WE SAVED FOREVER.
513
00:30:46,145 --> 00:30:48,878
[KRUPPS] MR. BERNARDINO,
HAVING LOOKED AT YOUR RECORD,
514
00:30:48,948 --> 00:30:52,115
I SAW THAT YOU ASCENDED
TO POPULARITY VIA ATHLETICS.
515
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:55,218
UNFORTUNATELY, IF YOU MISS
ONE MORE FOOTBALL PRACTICE,
516
00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:58,188
I WILL BE FORCED TO CUT YOU
FROM THE TEAM.
517
00:30:58,257 --> 00:31:00,723
[GLASS] WITHOUT YOUR GOLDEN
JOCK STATUS,
518
00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:03,260
HAVE FUN SITTING
WITH THE TARDS AT LUNCH.
519
00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:06,563
FORGET THE FOREVER TREE.
IF YOU STAY IN
YOUR PROTEST PERCH,
520
00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:08,732
YOU WILL BE FOREVER
ON THE OUTS!
521
00:31:12,071 --> 00:31:15,738
- GO.
- ARE YOU SURE?
522
00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:17,307
[WHISPERS] YEAH.
523
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:20,710
I KNOW HOW HARD YOU WORKED
TO GET YOUR STATUS, SD.
524
00:31:20,779 --> 00:31:22,612
I'LL BE OKAY.
525
00:31:22,681 --> 00:31:25,382
- YOU SURE?
- MM-HM.
526
00:31:36,161 --> 00:31:40,430
WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS NOW?
[CHUCKLES]
527
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:45,202
[SAM] THIS IS JUST GREAT.
528
00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:47,770
WHEN DID GRACE KELLY
DECIDE SHE WANTED TO MOVE HERE?
529
00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:50,140
LAST NIGHT. WE TALKED.
DON'T SLAG MY MOTHER.
530
00:31:50,209 --> 00:31:53,110
- I'M ALWAYS
RESPECTFUL OF YOURS.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY.
531
00:31:53,178 --> 00:31:57,114
LOOK, I JUST... I THOUGHT WE
AGREED TO HAVE YOUR DAD
CALL MY MOM LAST NIGHT.
532
00:31:57,182 --> 00:32:00,150
- HE DIDN'T CALL?
- [SAM] NO, HOW COULD HE?
533
00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:01,884
YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM
THE NUMBER.
534
00:32:01,954 --> 00:32:04,721
OKAY, I FORGOT TO GIVE IT
TO HIM.
535
00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:08,025
THIS IS ABOUT THE SINK,
ISN'T IT? YOU ALWAYS HATED
SHARING THE SINK.
536
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:11,728
SAM, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SINK.
537
00:32:11,796 --> 00:32:15,098
I LIKED HAVING YOU AROUND.
I ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER AND...
538
00:32:15,167 --> 00:32:18,668
EVEN THOUGH I FOUGHT IT,
I GOT ONE.
539
00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:26,443
I CAUSED THIS. DO YOU HAVE
ANY IDEA OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO
LIE IN BED AT NIGHT,
540
00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:30,313
AND HEAR YOUR MOM CRYING IN
THE BATHROOM AND IT'S BECAUSE
OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
541
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:34,050
I THOUGHT YOU SAID MY MOM
WAS THE MOTHER YOU NEVER HAD.
542
00:32:34,119 --> 00:32:36,353
IT'S COMPLICATED, SAM.
543
00:32:38,590 --> 00:32:40,490
MY MOM CAME BACK.
544
00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:42,759
BROOKE...
545
00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:46,062
...MY MOM'S THE ONE YOU SENT
A CARD TO LAST MOTHER'S DAY.
546
00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:49,566
HEY, YOUR MOM LEFT,
HOW CAN YOU FORGIVE THAT?
547
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,501
I HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE, SAM.
548
00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:54,904
I COULD EITHER HATE HER
FOREVER FOR WHAT SHE DID
AND TURN HER AWAY
549
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:58,708
AND NEVER KNOW MY OWN MOTHER
OR I COULD TRY AND
UNDERSTAND WHY SHE LEFT
550
00:32:58,777 --> 00:33:01,178
AND CONCENTRATE
ON THE FUTURE INSTEAD.
551
00:33:01,246 --> 00:33:06,483
AND JUST TRY AND GET RID
OF SOME OF THIS PAIN AND
SOME OF THIS ANGER
552
00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:09,653
THAT HAS BEEN BUILDING UP
IN ME FOR EIGHT YEARS.
553
00:33:12,857 --> 00:33:14,524
WHAT ABOUT OUR FAMILY?
554
00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:21,164
JUST KNOW ONE THING.
IF YOU THREW AWAY THAT PIECE
OF PAPER I GAVE YOU,
555
00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:24,467
IT'S JUST THE SAME AS IF YOU
THREW AWAY MY MOM AND ME.
556
00:33:30,142 --> 00:33:31,941
BROOKE, HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG?
557
00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:36,012
JANE...
558
00:33:36,081 --> 00:33:39,416
...I'M REALLY SORRY.
I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU.
559
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:47,390
I'LL TAKE THE HOUSE.
560
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:04,341
[SCREAMS]
561
00:34:04,409 --> 00:34:06,943
- YOU OKAY?
- [PANTING]
562
00:34:07,011 --> 00:34:09,712
YEAH. SORRY.
563
00:34:09,781 --> 00:34:12,349
LONG NIGHT.
WH... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
564
00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:15,185
I BROUGHT YOU SOME
REINFORCEMENTS AT
SUG'S REQUEST.
565
00:34:15,254 --> 00:34:19,556
SOY MILK, TOFU SLIM JIMS
AND LADY RAZORS.
566
00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:22,925
- YOU NEED SOME COMPANY?
- UH-HUH.
567
00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,694
SIT DOWN.
568
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:29,299
WOW.
569
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:33,303
SO, UM, HOW DO YOU KNOW?
570
00:34:34,973 --> 00:34:36,839
HOW DO I KNOW WHAT?
571
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:40,177
OF EVERYONE AT THIS SCHOOL,
YOU SEEM TO HAVE A KNACK
FOR PICKING
572
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:43,179
THE COOL CAUSES AND
SEEING THEM THROUGH.
573
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:46,716
I MEAN, HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHETHER TO, LIKE,
STAY OR GIVE UP?
574
00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:50,353
OOH! UM, WELL,
575
00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:52,522
I FOLLOW ONE CRITERIA.
576
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,491
I LISTEN TO MY HEART.
577
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,127
YEAH, AND IF MY HEART
TELLS ME THAT SOMETHING'S
WORTH FIGHTING FOR,
578
00:34:58,197 --> 00:35:00,530
THEN I GUESS THAT'S
HOW I KNOW.
579
00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:04,934
AND DO YOU THINK A RELATIONSHIP
CAN BE A CAUSE?
580
00:35:05,003 --> 00:35:06,803
YEAH, TOTALLY.
581
00:35:06,871 --> 00:35:09,939
I THINK RELATIONSHIPS
ARE THE BIGGEST CAUSE OF ALL.
582
00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:13,543
AT SOME POINT, YOU JUST
HAVE TO DECIDE TO COMMIT.
583
00:35:14,513 --> 00:35:16,078
HUH.
584
00:35:29,428 --> 00:35:32,229
MARY CHERRY, WHY ARE YOU
DRESSED LIKE A GAY TURKEY?
585
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:34,096
TO IMPRESS YOU AND BROOKIE,
586
00:35:34,165 --> 00:35:37,334
THE EQUALLY GLAMOROUS
AND STUNNING JUDGES.
587
00:35:37,402 --> 00:35:40,236
HERE, I BROUGHT YOU
THE HOPE DIAMOND.
588
00:35:41,607 --> 00:35:43,206
AT EASE.
589
00:35:50,249 --> 00:35:54,183
LET ME GUESS. "BROOKE McQUEEN
PLUS ALL OVER THE PLACE
590
00:35:54,253 --> 00:35:56,219
EQUALS HER CURRENT
PATHETIC STATE."
591
00:35:56,288 --> 00:35:58,488
UM, NOT QUITE.
592
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,235
WHAT'S WRONG,
DID I MISSPELL SOMETHING?
593
00:36:12,304 --> 00:36:13,503
NO.
594
00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,104
[LAUGHS]
595
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:23,380
BROOKE, IT'S OKAY.
WE'RE GONNA BE FINE.
596
00:36:23,448 --> 00:36:24,947
I MEANT WHAT I WROTE HERE.
597
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:27,551
AND I'VE DECIDED THAT
TO MAKE IT NOW OR FOREVER,
598
00:36:27,619 --> 00:36:30,920
YOU HAVE TO BE COMMITTED TO
THE CONCEPT, AND IT'S
HARD WORK, I KNOW.
599
00:36:30,989 --> 00:36:33,723
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA
SHAKE THINGS UP, YOU KNOW?
600
00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:39,429
TAKE BIG CHANCES,
GIVE UP TO GET
THAT DREAM OF FOREVER.
601
00:36:39,498 --> 00:36:41,364
AND I WANT TO DO THAT FOR YOU.
602
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:44,066
CAN YOU DO IT?
603
00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:47,404
YEAH.
604
00:36:47,472 --> 00:36:50,072
I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO.
605
00:36:53,245 --> 00:36:55,512
[LOUD CREAK]
606
00:36:55,581 --> 00:36:57,647
[COUGHS]
607
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,974
COME ON, CARM. LET ME SEE
THOSE CROCODILE TEARS OF
DISAPPOINTMENT.
608
00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:26,676
I'M IN THE MOOD
FOR A GOOD LAUGH.
609
00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:27,944
NICOLE...
610
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:34,183
...YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTELY
HORRIBLE PERSON. ONE DAY
I'M GONNA STOP YOU.
611
00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:37,086
YOUR HATRED ENERGIZES ME.
612
00:37:37,155 --> 00:37:39,789
BRING IT ON AND WATCH ME
RADIATE.
613
00:37:43,795 --> 00:37:48,865
ALTHOUGH BRUCE LEE
MIGHT APPROVE, CONSIDER
THESE NUNCHUCKS MINE.
614
00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:51,501
UH, I'M SORRY, MISS JULIAN,
A QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU.
615
00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:53,436
WHO WAS THE ALTERNATE TO
THE SQUAD?
616
00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:58,107
YOU MEAN THE WANNABE WHO
DIDN'T MAKE IT?
MS. CARMEN FERRARA, HERSELF?
617
00:37:58,176 --> 00:38:01,678
HERE, CALVIN KRUPPS.
I DID SOME DIGGING THROUGH
THE TRASH IN THE NOVAK.
618
00:38:01,747 --> 00:38:04,480
FOUND BROOKE AND
THE ANTICHRIST'S PRACTICE PAD.
619
00:38:04,549 --> 00:38:08,885
CARMEN WAS AWARDED
THE RUNNER UP SLOT WHEN,
BY GOD, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME.
620
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:12,789
I'M A FRICKIN' TEEN PAULA ABDUL!
621
00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:16,025
UH, MISS JULIAN,
WALK FOR ME AGAIN.
622
00:38:16,094 --> 00:38:19,962
MODEL? CERTAINLY, CALVIN KLEIN.
I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.
623
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:26,135
♪ YEAH, YEAH,
SHE GOES BOOM, BOOM, BOOM...
624
00:38:26,204 --> 00:38:27,870
[LOUD CRACKING]
625
00:38:29,908 --> 00:38:34,076
♪ SHE GOES BOOM, BOOM, BOOM
626
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:37,013
♪ SHE ANNIHILATES ME...
627
00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:41,550
MMM. I THOUGHT SO.
MISS FERRARA, DUST OFF
YOUR POMPOMS. MISS JULIAN,
628
00:38:41,620 --> 00:38:43,552
I'M TERMINATING YOUR
GLAMAZON MEMBERSHIP.
629
00:38:43,622 --> 00:38:45,422
YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WHY?
630
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:47,857
FROM THE SOUND,
YOU HAVE THE KNEE
OF A 90-YEAR-OLD.
631
00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:51,260
IF YOU FALL DURING
THE STAG LEAP, YOUR PARENTS
COULD SUE THE SCHOOL.
632
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,431
WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY
TO INSURE YOU.
GOOD DAY, MISS JULIAN.
633
00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:58,768
AND MISS FERRARA, CONGRATS.
SUCCESS IS A GREAT COLOR ON YOU.
634
00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:01,003
BRINGS OUT YOUR EYES.
635
00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:04,173
♪ SHE GOES BOOM, BOOM, BOOM
636
00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:08,244
- ♪ CRAZY, CRAZY
- ♪ BOOM, BOOM, BOOM
637
00:39:09,214 --> 00:39:12,148
♪ SHE ANNIHILATES ME ♪
638
00:39:13,384 --> 00:39:15,752
MARY CHERRY, WHAT DID YOU
DO TO MY KNEE?
639
00:39:15,820 --> 00:39:21,323
IT'S CALLED "SHOW BUSINESS,"
NIC, NOT "SHOW FRIENDS."
640
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,302
[SAM] THANK YOU
FOR MEETING ME HERE, KELLY.
641
00:39:33,372 --> 00:39:36,839
I OWE THAT TO YOU, SAM.
642
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:40,476
OF COURSE I WOULD
MEET YOU HERE.
643
00:39:40,545 --> 00:39:44,080
I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN VERY ROUGH
ON YOU AND I APOLOGIZE.
644
00:39:44,149 --> 00:39:47,784
KELLY, PLEASE UNDERSTAND,
I BROUGHT YOU HERE.
645
00:39:47,852 --> 00:39:51,988
I'M THE ONE WHO, RESULTINGLY,
RUINED THE ONLY HAPPINESS
MY MOM HAS KNOWN
646
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:53,956
SINCE MY DAD DIED.
647
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:59,328
PLEASE HELP ME MAKE RIGHT
WHAT I MADE WRONG.
648
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:02,899
SAM, I FEEL BADLY TOO.
649
00:40:02,967 --> 00:40:06,736
I'VE CAUSED A LOT
OF PROBLEMS AROUND HERE.
650
00:40:06,805 --> 00:40:09,071
PROBLEMS THAT I NEED
TO MAKE RIGHT AS WELL.
651
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:13,209
THERE MUST BE A WAY TO DO THAT
OTHER THAN BUYING A HOUSE HERE.
652
00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:15,244
THERE IS.
653
00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:19,682
I'VE TALKED WITH BROOKE
AND I'M MOVING BACK TO
SAN FRANCISCO.
654
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:22,719
- AND I'M MOVING WITH HER.
- NO.
655
00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:25,321
- NO, FORGET IT, BROOKE.
- I KNOW THIS IS HARD,
656
00:40:25,389 --> 00:40:28,290
- BUT IT IS A WAY FOR
BOTH OF US TO WIN.
- HOW DO I WIN
657
00:40:28,359 --> 00:40:30,993
IF MY DAUGHTER MOVES TO
SAN FRANCISCO? WHAT ABOUT ME?
658
00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:34,230
WHAT ABOUT HOW I RAISED YOU,
ALONE? WHAT ABOUT HOW I...
659
00:40:34,299 --> 00:40:36,032
[BROOKE] DADDY. IF I LEAVE
660
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:40,403
AND MOM COMES WITH ME, YOU
AND JANE CAN WORK THIS OUT.
I KNOW IT.
661
00:40:40,472 --> 00:40:44,373
DADDY, I REALIZE THAT YOU
TWO ARE THE ONES THAT ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER.
662
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:50,379
I NEED TO SPEND TIME
WITH MY MOTHER.
663
00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:52,749
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
664
00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:57,319
[CRYING] IT HAS EVERYTHING
TO DO WITH ME BECAUSE...
665
00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:02,892
...YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME.
666
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:05,528
[BROOKE] YOU CAN'T HOLD ON
TO ME FOREVER.
667
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:12,068
I LOOK AT MY MOTHER,
WHERE I COME FROM,
668
00:41:12,136 --> 00:41:15,571
AND I DON'T KNOW HER, DADDY.
669
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,708
AND I THINK TO KNOW MYSELF...
670
00:41:18,777 --> 00:41:22,612
...THAT IS A JOURNEY
THAT I HAVE TO TAKE.
671
00:41:36,627 --> 00:41:37,627
[GIGGLING]
672
00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:39,929
IN THE MIDST OF WHAT
HAS BEEN A SHOCKING WEEK
673
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,564
IT IS SO COMFORTING
TO HAVE SOME VEGETABLE DIM SUM.
674
00:41:42,633 --> 00:41:44,533
SUGAR, CAN YOU
PLEASE POUR ME SOME TEA?
675
00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:46,369
- SURE.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
676
00:41:46,437 --> 00:41:48,771
FOR COMING BACK UP.
IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME.
677
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,208
WELL, IT MEANS
A LOT TO ME. YOU KNOW?
678
00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:54,410
I THOUGHT I'D BE
NOTHING WITHOUT FOOTBALL,
679
00:41:54,478 --> 00:41:57,947
AND THEN I REALIZED
MY PRINCIPLES,
AND MY RELATIONSHIPS,
680
00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,683
MEAN MORE THAN
ANY LAME LETTERMAN'S JACKET.
681
00:42:00,752 --> 00:42:02,986
I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE
A TOAST.
682
00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:04,887
DESPITE ALL OF THE CHANGES,
683
00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:08,757
SURPRISES AND TOPPLINGS
OF SOCIAL HIERARCHIES THIS WEEK,
684
00:42:08,827 --> 00:42:12,528
WE ARE STILL STANDING
AND SO IS THE FOREVER TREE.
685
00:42:12,596 --> 00:42:15,031
- WORD.
- CHEERS.
686
00:42:15,099 --> 00:42:17,366
[CHAINSAW STARTS UP]
687
00:42:26,311 --> 00:42:28,077
[GLASS] TIMBER!
688
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:30,713
[CRASHING, SCREAMING]
689
00:42:38,489 --> 00:42:42,058
♪ TO BEND AND NOT TO BREAK
690
00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:45,995
♪ CHIN UP, TRY NOT TO QUAKE
691
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:49,398
♪ I'M GRINNING ON THE OUTSIDE
692
00:42:49,467 --> 00:42:52,568
♪ BUT I'M A WRECK INTERNALLY
693
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:58,407
♪ OOH, LA LA LA LA
694
00:43:02,981 --> 00:43:05,547
♪ OH, LA LA LA LA ♪