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[ANNOUNCER]
PREVIOUSLY, ON POPULAR.
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,404
MISS FERRARA,
DUST OFF YOUR POMPOMS.
3
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,506
I'M TERMINATING
YOUR GLAMAZON MEMBERSHIP.
4
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,774
[MIKE] JANE,
YOU ARE OVERREACTING.
5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,576
[JANE] I SAW YOU, I SAW HER.
6
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,512
I SAW HER LIPS
COLLIDE WITH YOURS.
7
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,614
I THINK I'M BEING
PRETTY DAMN RATIONAL.
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:19,183
I'VE CAUSED A LOT
OF PROBLEMS AROUND HERE,
9
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,185
PROBLEMS THAT I NEED
TO MAKE RIGHT.
10
00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:23,955
THERE MUST BE A WAY TO DO THAT
BESIDES BUYING A HOUSE HERE.
11
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I'VE TALKED WITH BROOKE,
AND I'M MOVING BACK
TO SAN FRANCISCO.
12
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:29,494
I'M MOVING WITH HER.
13
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:34,933
LOOK, BECAUSE OF
OUR SEMI-RELATED STATUS,
YOU'RE THE FIRST TO FIND OUT.
14
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:39,071
AND I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU
KEPT MY DECISION TO MOVE
TO SAN FRANCISCO QUIET.
15
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:42,674
FINE, NO PROBLEM, BECAUSE
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
16
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:46,311
TRY AND UNDERSTAND
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SPEND
YOUR LIFE WITHOUT YOUR MOM.
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00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,581
- [DOOR OPENING]
- I DID. AND NOW THAT
I HAVE HER BACK,
18
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,684
THIS TIME I'M NOT
GONNA LOSE HER.
19
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,019
- [NICOLE] HEY, B.
- HEY.
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00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,722
- HEY.
- HI.
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00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,026
[BELL RINGS]
22
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,495
DUE TO LAST NIGHT'S
FREAK ELECTRICAL STORM,
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:07,466
MY SUBSCRIPTION TO BASIC CABLE
WAS INADVERTENTLY
AND BRIEFLY UPGRADED.
24
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,536
I WAS DISMAYED TO FIND THAT WHAT
I THOUGHT WAS DESCRAMBLED PORNO
25
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:14,239
WAS ACTUALLY A RAUNCHY
TEEN MUSIC CHANNEL.
26
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:18,710
SO, BEFORE EACH OF YOU HAVE
A CHANCE TO "OOPS, DO IT AGAIN,"
27
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,613
I'M GONNA NIP THIS PROBLEM
RIGHT IN ITS HORMONAL BUD.
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00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:22,981
MEET...
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"BABY, DON'T DO IT" DOLL.
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[BABY CRIES]
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UNTIL YOU LEARN
THAT THE BURDEN OF PARENTING
32
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,556
OUTWEIGHS
THE MOMENTARY PLEASURES
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00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,126
OF SEXUAL GRATIFICATION,
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00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:37,262
THIS WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR PERSON.
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00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,698
THESE ARE NOT SIMPLE DOLLS.
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THIS IS A STATE-OF-THE-ART
CHILD SIMULATION
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MANUFACTURED BY NASA.
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TWO LINES!
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YEAH, IT'S A NICE IDEA,
BUT WHAT'S TO KEEP US FROM
TOSSING IT IN THE FRIDGE?
40
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,544
A SIMPLE YET EFFECTIVE SYSTEM.
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00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,013
I'M FORCED TO GRADE YOU
ON THEIR SMILES.
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00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,015
THANKS TO A COMPUTER CHIP,
43
00:01:57,083 --> 00:02:00,686
THESE DOLLS WILL REGISTER
IF THEY ARE FED, CHANGED
AND TUCKED IN,
44
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,622
AND YOUR REWARD BEING
A BEDTIME GRIN
45
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,157
AND AN ELECTRONIC RECORD
THAT AT WEEK'S END
46
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,927
WILL CONCLUSIVELY TELL
WHETHER YOU'RE A JUNE CLEAVER
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00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,029
OR A JOAN CRAWFORD.
48
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:16,235
- UM, I'M CHILDLESS.
- AND THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF.
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00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,403
CHOICES HAD TO BE MADE
ON YOUR PERSONALITY.
50
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,672
I DIDN'T DEEM YOU
MUCH OF A PREGNANCY RISK.
51
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,242
HOW DARE YOU, CLAW?
52
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,678
YOUR EXCLUSIONARY TACTICS
ARE FASCIST, THEY ARE IMMORAL,
53
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,080
- THEY...
- LILY, YOU CAN JUST SHARE MINE.
54
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,082
PICK OUT WALLPAPER
ON YOUR OWN TIME.
55
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:34,786
FOR NOW, I SUGGEST ALL OF YOU
GET ACQUAINTED WITH YOUR DOLLS.
56
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,021
AND REMEMBER,
57
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,358
PARENTHOOD, LIKE KEEPING
DEVO'S MEMORY ALIVE,
58
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,859
IT'S A FULL-TIME JOB.
59
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,294
ENJOY YOUR WEEK.
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00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,665
SEE, BROOKE, I ALWAYS KNEW
WE'D HAVE A FAMILY.
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00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,667
HEE-HEE.
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♪ THINK IT OVER ONCE OR TWICE
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♪ WHAT LASTS
THE LONGEST IN THIS LIFE
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♪ CHARACTER OR ROCK-HARD THIGHS
65
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♪ IN THE END DO YOU BELIEVE
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♪ THAT BEAUTY LIES
IN WHAT YOU SEE
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♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU DO, THEN, BABY
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♪ YOU'VE BEEN DECEIVED
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♪ WELL, ME AND B
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♪ WE HATE SUPERMODELS
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♪ IT'S JUST THAT I'M TIRED
OF BEING COMPARED ♪
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[BABY CRYING, SPITTING UP]
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PUKE.
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IT'S OFFICIAL. PARENTING SUCKS.
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VERY TRUE, CAPTAIN.
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00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,995
THIS WEEK WHILE
MY PARENTS ENJOY
77
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THEIR ANNUAL PILGRIMAGE
TO STONEHENGE,
78
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,099
I'VE BEEN SADDLED
WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY
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00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,802
OF KEEPING A WATCHFUL EYE
ON THE TWINS.
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00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,371
FATHER DICK HAS DECREED
81
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,640
THAT IF CHAOS SHOULD RAIN
ON DICK MANOR,
82
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,609
I SHALL FIND MYSELF FOREVER
IMPRISONED BY HIS DARK WILL.
83
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,615
YOU HAVE A CURFEW? SO WHAT?
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU
HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE.
84
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:13,518
TRUE, BUT I PLAN TO. PLUS,
THERE'S A MIDNIGHT SHOWING
OF TRON NEARING,
85
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,820
WITH SPECIAL GUEST,
BRUCE BOXLEITNER.
86
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,590
I, FOR ONE, DO NOT INTEND
TO READ ABOUT IT IN THE PAPERS.
87
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,124
PERSPECTIVE TIME.
88
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,328
EMILY AND EMMA ARE THE
SWEETEST LITTLE GIRLS I'VE MET.
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00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,996
NO LONGER, CAPTAIN.
90
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,332
WITH THE ONSET OF PUBERTY,
THEY'VE MUTATED.
91
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,568
THEY'RE MONSTERS.
92
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,502
MONSTERS.
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[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
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NICOLE JULIAN, MARY CHERRY.
I'M EMILY AND THIS IS EMMA.
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00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,723
[BOTH] WE'RE EM AND EM.
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WE'RE EMORY'S SISTERS.
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WE SWEAR, WE ARE
NOTHING LIKE HIM.
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00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,629
WE'RE JUNIOR-IN-THE-ROUGH
HOTTIES.
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00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,565
- HIS HIDEOUSNESS
IS NOT GENETIC.
- MAY WE SPEAK?
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00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,202
ASIDE FROM BROOKE McQUEEN,
YOU TWO ARE THE MOST
POPULAR GIRLS AT KENNEDY,
101
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:05,937
AND WE NEED
YOUR ASSISTANCE.
102
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,440
LUCY BLAIR,
THE MOST POPULAR EIGHTH GRADER
IN THE HISTORY OF GARRETT,
103
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,076
RECENTLY DIED DUE TO SEVERE
CARBOHYDRATE DEFICIENCY.
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00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,580
WE WANT TO REPLACE HER
AND NEED YOU TO PASS ON TO US
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YOUR UNIQUE BLEND OF STYLE
AND RUTHLESSNESS.
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YEAH, HI. TELETUBBIES, GO HOME.
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YOU TWO ARE LEGENDS.
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00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,955
EVERYONE KNOWS
WHILE BROOKE SITS ON THE THRONE,
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YOU RULE
WITH AN IRON FIST.
110
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:30,061
YOU TWO HAVE BECOME ICONS
TO A YOUNGER GENERATION.
YOUR EXPLOITS ARE MYTHIC.
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00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,863
MYTHIC?
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ICONS.
[NICOLE SIGHS]
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- WELL, I'M NOT SURPRISED.
- [BABY CRYING]
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MARY CHERRY... [SIGHING]
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ALTHOUGH YOU DID
BETRAY ME DURING TRYOUTS,
116
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I MUST ADMIT THAT I DID
ADMIRE YOUR RUTHLESSNESS.
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00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,381
WELL, THANK YOU, NIC.
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YOU SHOULD KNOW, WHILE I WAS
STABBING YOU IN THE BACK,
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I WAS ONLY TRYING
TO EMULATE YOU.
120
00:05:55,989 --> 00:06:00,425
WHAT CAN I DO TO RESTORE
OUR DYSFUNCTIONAL,
SOCIOPATHIC FRIENDSHIP?
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00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,927
LET ME SMACK YOUR SMUG FACE
AS HARD AS I CAN.
122
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,530
- FINE. EVEN STEVEN?
- MM-HMM.
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ME FIRST.
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[♪ BIZET'S CARMEN: "HABANERA"]
125
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[CROWD GASPS, GROANS]
126
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[MAN'S VOICE] UH-OH.
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[BOXING BELL RINGS]
128
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[CROWD CHEERS]
129
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[MAN] THE WINNER
AND STILL CHAMPION...
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NICOLE JULIAN!
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[CROWD ROARS]
132
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YOU HAVE OUR ATTENTION NOW.
TELL US WHY WE SHOULD HELP YOU.
133
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,144
WE HAVE CASH.
134
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WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE.
135
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,022
GWYNETH? ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR MIND?
136
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,957
WE ARE NOT
NAMING IT GWYNETH.
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00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,527
- DO YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA?
- THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
138
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,263
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF IT'S A BOY OR A GIRL.
139
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,534
HOW 'BOUT WE CALL IT...
HILARYSWANK.
140
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ONE WORD.
141
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,402
- FINE.
- FINE.
142
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,906
I COMPILED A TO DO LIST
AND SPLIT IT.
143
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,175
CAN YOU MAKE SURE I DIDN'T
LEAVE ANYTHING OUT? HEY.
144
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,410
[SIGHS] OKAY.
145
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,747
I AM HAVING TWIN CRISES
OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.
146
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,715
FIRSTLY, I BELIEVE
MY BABY HAS COLIC,
147
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,084
WHICH IS REAFFIRMING
MY LONG-TERM COMMITMENT
148
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,721
TO EMPHASIZE MY CAREER
AND NOT MY SEX DRIVE.
149
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:40,358
AND SECONDLY,
YOU GUYS CAN'T SAY A THING.
150
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:42,994
FRIDAY, BROOKE'S MOVING
TO SAN FRANCISCO WITH KELLY.
151
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:46,731
SAMMY, ISN'T THIS WHAT
YOU'VE BEEN FIGHTING
THE GOOD FIGHT FOR?
152
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,133
IF YOU SAW MY MOM,
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
153
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,737
SHE'S EVERYTHING TO ME,
AND NOW SHE'S A WRECK.
154
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,272
BROOKE'S GOING.
155
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,876
MIKE WILL BLAME ME AND
PROBABLY BE SCARED AWAY
FROM MY MOM FOREVER.
156
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,245
I'VE GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
157
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,881
SAMMY, RELAX.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A THING.
158
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:06,885
THERE IS NO GREATER APHRODISIAC
THAN LONELINESS.
159
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,421
- YOU THINK SO?
- YEAH.
160
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,924
DO YOU GUYS REALIZE
WHAT THIS MEANS?
161
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,595
IF BROOKE LEAVES, SO DOES
THE CONSCIENCE OF THE GLAMAZONS.
162
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,930
SOMEONE HAS TO
CARRY ON HER SPIRIT,
163
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:23,368
AND IF IT'S NOT ME,
THEN WHO'S IT GONNA BE?
164
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:27,972
I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR... LUNCH.
165
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:35,513
- [BABY CRIES]
- BROOKY, FOR THE FIRST TIME,
166
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,783
THE EMPTINESS I FEEL INSIDE
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BULIMIA.
167
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,586
BUT, BROOKE, WHO WILL
I LOOK TO TO GUIDE ME
168
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:45,123
THROUGH THE DARK,
PERILOUS MINEFIELD
THAT IS TEEN SKIN CARE?
169
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,292
I PROMISE TO COME
AND VISIT AS OFTEN AS I CAN,
170
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,628
BUT MY MIND IS MADE UP.
171
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,964
WELL, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, B.
172
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,134
I KNOW HOW MUCH IT'S MEANT
FINDING YOUR MOTHER,
173
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,803
AND I THINK I SPEAK
FOR BOTH OF US
174
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,605
WHEN I SAY WE BOTH
JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.
175
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:04,609
THANKS. REALLY?
176
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,311
GOSH, THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.
177
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,949
OH. OKAY.
WISH ME LUCK.
178
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,985
OH. YEAH.
JOSH IS NEXT.
179
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,419
OOH.
180
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:21,259
GOD BLESS HER MATERNALLY
OBSESSED HEART, MARY CHERRY.
181
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,227
WE ARE FINALLY FREE.
182
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,630
FREE OF THE TYRANNY
OF KINDNESS AND COMPASSION.
183
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,666
FREE TO BE YOU AND ME!
184
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:32,570
NOW, THE OPPORTUNITY
FOR US IS UNPRECEDENTED
AND WE NEED TO FOCUS.
185
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:36,841
THE MINUTE BROOKY LEAVES,
EVERY GIRL WHO'S READ SEVENTEEN
WILL BE VYING FOR HER SPOT.
186
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,977
- I SMELL BLOODSHED AND CARNAGE.
- YES.
187
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,744
WE HAVE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF OUR HEAD START.
188
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:44,315
BECAUSE UNITED,
WE CAN AND WILL CONQUER.
189
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,117
EXCELLENT!
190
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,720
YOU START BY BREAKING
THE SPIRIT OF OUR CLASSMATES.
191
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:52,591
I'LL GET RID OF THE TWINS
SO WE CAN CONCENTRATE
ON OUR DASTARDLY PLOT.
192
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:56,527
BAD IDEA, MARY CHERRY.
EVERY POWERFUL REGIME
NEEDS FUNDING.
193
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,230
AND BY THE LOOKS OF
THEIR PRADA-ESQUE BACKPACKS,
194
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,265
THOSE TWEENS
HAVE IT IN SPADES.
195
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,334
[BABY SCREAMS]
196
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:07,538
YOU SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE,
YOU LITTLE NO-NECKED MONSTER!
197
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,107
YOU DAMN BASTARD CHILD!
198
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,608
WAIT, MARY CHERRY!
199
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:13,211
IF YOU DECAPITATE
THIS DOLL, THEN WE FAIL.
200
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,047
IF WE FAIL, WE ARE INELIGIBLE
FOR HOMECOMING COURT,
201
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,316
A SYMBOLIC,
NECESSARY POSITION TO ATTAIN.
202
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:21,219
NIC, I CAN'T POSSIBLY
WASTE MY ENERGY
203
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,822
WORRYING ABOUT THE WELFARE
OF SOMEONE ELSE.
204
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,490
WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE TO.
205
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,160
WHO MAKES A GOOD MOTHER,
MARY CHERRY?
206
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,561
THINK.
207
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,867
PENELOPE POPPINS, I AM.
208
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:39,304
WITH ME AS YOUR NANNY,
REST ASSURED THE LOVES
WILL HAVE A JOLLY GOOD TIME.
209
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,806
AND YOUR CARES SHALL FLOAT AWAY
LIKE FLOWER PETALS
ON A BRISK SUMMER DAY.
210
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,309
- [BABIES SCREAM]
- OH... OH.
211
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,611
OH. DON'T WORRY, LOVES.
212
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,281
I'LL TREAT THEM AS IF
THEY WERE MY VERY OWN.
213
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,586
- HEY, B.
- HEY.
214
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,422
IS THIS A DIAPER RASH?
215
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,225
THE THING'S BEEN GROWING
FOR THE LAST TWO PERIODS.
216
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,994
YEAH, YOU PROBABLY JUST
NEED SOME BABY POWDER.
217
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,295
OH, NICE.
218
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,665
HEY, I WAS THINKING.
219
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,534
MAYBE YOU AND I AND THE "KIDS"
COULD GET TOGETHER FRIDAY.
220
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,704
LIKE A PLAY DATE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
TO CHUCK E. CHEESE'S?
221
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:15,706
LITTLE PIZZA,
LITTLE SKEE-BALL?
222
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,108
UH...
223
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,545
JOSH, FRIDAY PROBABLY
WON'T WORK FOR ME,
224
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,947
BECAUSE, YOU SEE,
MY MOM AND ME,
225
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,382
WE'RE GOING...
226
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,252
TO DINNER.
227
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,321
YOU KNOW.
228
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,290
NO PROBLEM.
HOW 'BOUT SATURDAY?
229
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,125
- [BABY COOING]
- [PHONE RINGS]
230
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,394
HOLD ON. UH...
231
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:37,796
BABY...
232
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,833
HELLO? HEY.
233
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,305
NOW? SURE. NO,
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
234
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,374
OKAY, OKAY, BYE.
LISTEN, I GOTTA GO.
235
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:54,245
MY MOM HAS ARRANGED
A PRIVATE VIEWING OF THE NEW
DAMIEN HIRSCH EXHIBIT. BYE.
236
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,315
SEE YA.
237
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,767
MIKE, HI.
238
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:20,304
- HI, SAM. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M OKAY.
239
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:25,009
BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT, I SORTA
MISS OUR MONOPOLY SHOWDOWNS.
240
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,647
HAVE YOU SEEN BROOKE?
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO
MEET ME A HALF HOUR AGO.
241
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:35,653
MAYBE BROOKE GOT THE DAYS
MIXED UP. SHE'S HAD
A LOT ON HER MIND LATELY.
242
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:38,022
- I WOULDN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
- HOW CAN I NOT?
243
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,624
I TOOK THE WHOLE WEEK OFF
TO BE WITH HER.
244
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:45,363
I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE SOME
FATHER/DAUGHTER QUALITY TIME
BEFORE...
245
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,268
YOU HAVE BEEN
A GREAT FATHER, MIKE.
246
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:54,705
TO BROOKE AND TO ME.
247
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,108
I AM SO THANKFUL
FOR YOU.
248
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,777
BROOKE FEELS THE SAME.
I KNOW THAT.
249
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:04,115
MAYBE SO. IT'S NOT GOING
TO MAKE FRIDAY ANY EASIER.
250
00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:09,220
MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
SPEND FRIDAY ALONE.
251
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,125
- MY MOM IS A REALLY
GOOD LISTENER.
- SAM...
252
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,895
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY WHO IS
AS EMOTIONALLY SPENT AS I AM
253
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:21,432
HAS ANY BUSINESS BEING
IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.
254
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,768
MIKE, I AM SO SORRY.
255
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:31,309
IF I HADN'T GONE TO
SAN FRANCISCO AND OPENED UP
THIS WHOLE CAN OF WORMS...
256
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:34,178
THERE'S NOTHING WE
CAN DO ABOUT THAT NOW.
257
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,481
YOU'RE THE PARENT.
TELL BROOKE SHE CAN'T GO.
258
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,250
SAM, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
259
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,585
THEN I'LL TELL HER.
260
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,089
AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,
THEN I WILL FIND SOMETHING
THAT DOES.
261
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,493
I PROMISE.
BROOKE ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE.
262
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,142
NIC, WHILE I AM SUITABLY AWED
263
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:07,178
BY OUR FABULOUS
NEUTRA-ESQUE SURROUNDINGS,
264
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,846
I AM FORCED TO WONDER...
265
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,748
HOW CAN SOMEONE
SUCH AS EMORY DICK
266
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:14,953
POSSIBLY COME FROM A FAMILY
WITH SUCH EXQUISITE RETRO TASTE?
267
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,188
MY GUESS IS ADOPTION.
268
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,890
[NICOLE]
HELLO, GIRLS. NICE FURS.
269
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,792
OKAY, YOU'VE LEARNED WELL,
GRASSHOPPERS.
270
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,728
NOW, FOR THE READING LIST.
271
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,298
THE ART OF WAR BY SUN TZU.
272
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,200
THE PRINCE, BY NICOLE.
273
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,602
OH. NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI.
274
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,037
[BOTH LAUGHING]
275
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,806
AND MY WAY OF LIFE
BY JOAN CRAWFORD.
276
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,808
MARY CHERRY, YOU HAVE THE FLOOR.
277
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:42,446
GIRLS, PLEASE PET YOUR
LUXURIOUS MINKS AND SHOW ME
A SUPERIOR SMUG LOOK.
278
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,684
VERY GOOD.
BEFORE WE SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY,
279
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,187
WE HAVE ONE CRUCIAL
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU.
280
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:52,357
COMPILE A GUEST LIST
TO THE PARTY YOU WILL
THROW THIS FRIDAY.
281
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:55,826
THE ONLY WAY TO INSURE
COMPLETE SOCIAL DOMINATION
282
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,796
IS TO THROW THE FIRST
AND BEST PARTY OF THE YEAR.
283
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:02,833
AND REMEMBER, IT'S NOT
WHO YOU PUT ON THE LIST.
IT'S WHO YOU LEAVE OFF.
284
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,536
- WE'LL BEGIN IMMEDIATELY.
- YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING.
285
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,306
AS THE ELDER SIBLING,
I, EMORY, DECREE
286
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,008
THAT YOU SHALL OBEY
ALL MY COMMANDS.
287
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,545
THERE SHALL BE NO REBELLIOUS
TALK OR TOMFOOLERY OF ANY KIND.
288
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:18,516
- AND FURTHERMORE...
- [BABY SCREAMS]
289
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,419
CAN I NOT GET
ONE MOMENT OF PEACE?
290
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:25,189
NOW, GIRLS, WHAT IS THE KEY TO
GAINING CONTROL IN ANY CONFLICT?
291
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,691
- FIND YOUR ENEMY'S WEAKNESS.
- THEN EXPLOIT IT.
292
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,895
SO, VIRGIN, STILL GETTING
THOSE CYBER SEX REJECTIONS?
293
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,598
STOP IT.
YOU WILL SHOW ME RESPECT.
294
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,667
- GEEK.
- NERD.
295
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:40,003
- LOSER.
- OH, I FEEL SUCH PRIDE,
MARY CHERRY.
296
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,574
LOOK AT HOW THEY HUMILIATE HIM.
SUCH PANACHE, THEY'RE NATURALS.
297
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,576
THESE ARE THE GIRLS
OF THE FUTURE.
298
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:49,280
BUT, NIC, ISN'T IT TIME
WE ADDRESS OUR OWN FUTURE?
299
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,649
WE HAVE,
MARY CHERRY, WE HAVE.
300
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,252
ON FRIDAY NIGHT,
AT THE HOUR OF
BROOKE'S DEPARTURE,
301
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:58,056
THIS MAGNIFICENT DOMICILE
SERVES AS THE SITE
OF OUR CORONATION
302
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,824
WHEN WE TAKE OVER
THE PARTY.
303
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,327
OH!
304
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,829
[MUMBLING]
305
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,398
LINE UP TAB...
306
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,969
OH, THAT'S GREAT.
307
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:15,273
HEY, YO, YO. CHECK IT OUT.
IT'S THE REAL SLIM SHADY.
308
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,608
AW, THAT'S COOL, BRO.
309
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,777
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT STROLLERS, MAN?
310
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,680
THESE IKEA-ESQUE DIRECTIONS
ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW.
311
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:26,584
YO, BABY, THERE'S
A MUCH SIMPLER SOLUTION.
STYLINBABY.COM.
312
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,586
NICE. OH, HEY.
313
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,055
BROOKE AND I ARE GOING
TO CHUCK E. CHEESE'S
WITH THE KIDS ON SATURDAY.
314
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:34,525
YOU WANNA INVITE EXQUISITE,
MAKE IT A "PAR-TAY"?
315
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,728
YOU KNOW I'M DOWN
WITH THE CHEESE.
COME ON, NOW.
316
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,930
I'M GLAD THOSE RUMORS
ABOUT BOO AREN'T TRUE.
317
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,932
PLACE WOULDN'T BE
THE SAME WITHOUT HER.
318
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:44,035
WHOA. WHAT RUMORS, BRO?
319
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:48,906
YO, BABY. WE GOTTA TALK.
320
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:50,641
WHAT?
321
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,478
THERE ARE CONVICTED FELONS
WHO ARE MORE ATTENTIVE PARENTS.
322
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,780
SHE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
DOESN'T SHE DESERVE
A SECOND CHANCE?
323
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,283
SURE, IF IT'S AT
SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE.
324
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:03,421
LOOK, IF MY FATHER LOVES ME,
HE'LL UNDERSTAND MY DECISION
AND LET ME GO.
325
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:08,959
WHAT'S THIS?
326
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,797
IS THIS SOME SORT OF JOKE?
327
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,167
"I HAVE YOUR DOLL.
MORE INSTRUCTIONS TO FOLLOW.
DO NOT CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES."
328
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,038
- YOUR BABY WAS KIDNAPPED?
- NO, I...
329
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,140
LOOK, I JUST PROBABLY
LEFT IT SOMEWHERE.
330
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:27,511
I'VE HAD A LOT OF OTHER THINGS
ON MY MIND, SAM.
331
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,383
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY.
332
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,884
I'M LEAVING.
333
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,958
[CARMEN] I'VE ASKED YOU
ALL HERE TODAY
334
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:44,195
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE HEART
AND SOUL OF KENNEDY,
335
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,797
AND I WANT TO HEAR
YOUR CONCERNS.
336
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:50,000
AS A GLAMAZON, I NOW HAVE
THE POWER TO MAKE CHANGE,
337
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,035
AND I ASSURE YOU,
338
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:53,104
I WILL.
339
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,672
EMPTY TALK, CARMEN FERRARA.
340
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,908
YOU HAD THE POWER LAST YEAR,
AND YOU DID BULL SQUAT.
341
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,878
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT WE WANT?
342
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:04,282
HOW ABOUT TO JUST ONCE FEEL
THE HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE
343
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:08,852
WE HUNGRILY READ ABOUT
IN THE PAGES OF COSMO GIRL
AND BARELY LEGAL?
344
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,755
MAKE THAT HAPPEN,
CARMEN FERRARA,
345
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,557
AND MAYBE WE'LL BELIEVE YOU.
346
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,103
[BABIES CRYING]
347
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,071
DUDE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
348
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,907
[BELL RINGS]
349
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,709
BY THE VACANT LOOKS
IN YOUR EYES,
350
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,412
I CAN SEE THE PRISON SENTENCE
ASPECT OF CHILD REARING
351
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,580
HAS BEGUN TO SET IN.
352
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,785
AH, MISS JULIAN AND MISS CHERRY.
353
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:44,822
THIS ASSIGNMENT WAS ABOUT
THE REARING OF CHILDREN,
354
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:47,791
NOT THE SHUNNING
OF RESPONSIBILITY.
355
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:52,363
OH, I BEG TO DIFFER, CLAW.
OUR AU PAIR COMES
FROM THE FINEST AGENCY.
356
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,901
GOING A LITTLE HEAVY
ON THE EYE SHADOW, LADIES?
357
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,072
THE WEE ONES GOT IN A BIT OF ROW
WHILE FLYING A KITE.
358
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:06,043
OKAY, GIRLS,
IT'S YOUR MONEY.
359
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,678
BUT BE WARNED.
360
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:11,148
AS THE PARENT,
YOU ARE ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE
361
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:14,418
FOR THE HEALTH
AND WELL-BEING OF YOUR CHILD.
362
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,690
I DON'T SEE YOUR CHILD,
MISS McQUEEN.
363
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,693
IT'S, UM, MISSING.
364
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:27,130
UNUSUALLY CARELESS FOR ONE
AS METICULOUS AS YOURSELF.
365
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,600
CARE TO PROVIDE AN EXPLANATION?
366
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,670
WHAT DOES SHE CARE, MISS GLASS?
SHE'S MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO.
367
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,672
[GLASS] IS THIS TRUE,
MISS McMOVING-ON-OUT?
368
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:38,442
YEAH. FRIDAY'S MY LAST DAY.
369
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:42,947
NEVERTHELESS,
YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO ME
370
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,982
AND TO THIS ASSIGNMENT.
371
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:48,285
DISREGARD YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES
AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCE.
372
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:52,356
AN "F" ON YOUR PERMANENT
AND TRANSFERABLE RECORD.
373
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:56,694
WHAT? BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
MY DOLL'S BEEN KIDNAPPED.
374
00:19:56,763 --> 00:20:00,698
YOU CANNOT FAIL ME. I AM
WAITING FOR INSTRUCTIONS
FROM THE KIDNAPPER.
375
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:03,767
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FAIL,
376
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,169
SOLVE THIS SILLY LITTLE HOAX
377
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,507
AND BRING YOUR BABY BACK
FROM PATTY HEARST LAND
IN PRISTINE CONDITION.
378
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,975
OTHERWISE, LIKE AN STD
FROM A CHEAP BANGKOK HOOKER,
379
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,578
THE DARK CLOUD OF MY WRATH
WILL FOLLOW YOU
380
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,614
FOR THE REST
OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE.
381
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,719
[WHISTLES]
382
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:37,568
STOP THE CAMILLE ACT, SAM.
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.
383
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,170
UH-UH. I CAN'T GO, MOM.
384
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,139
EVERYTHING I TOUCH,
I DESTROY.
385
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:45,543
MOM, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST
CALL MIKE AND PATCH THINGS UP?
386
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:47,478
KELLY'S GOING AWAY.
387
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:53,216
LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT
TO UPSET YOU, BUT I SAW MIKE.
388
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,386
HE'S DEVASTATED.
389
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:58,656
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.
HE NEEDS YOU NOW.
390
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:02,827
WELL, I'M NOT
GONNA TAKE THAT STEP
JUST TO ASSUAGE YOUR GUILT, SAM.
391
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,630
WELL, THEN DO IT
BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM.
392
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,501
YOU DO LOVE HIM,
DON'T YOU?
393
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,206
THEN PICK UP
THE PHONE.
394
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:27,250
[LILY CHANTING]
395
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,319
HEY, LILY.
396
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:32,222
YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO KNOW
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE RIGHT.
397
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:35,258
MY MOM AND MIKE
ARE GOING OUT TONIGHT,
AND IF IT ALL GOES OKAY,
398
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,495
THIS WHOLE NIGHTMARE
JUST MIGHT DISAPPEAR.
399
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,630
- HUH.
- [CHANTING CONTINUES]
400
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:43,333
WHOA. YOU LOOK
LIKE A NEGLECTED
TRAILER TRASH HOUSEWIFE.
401
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:48,105
- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?
- I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
402
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:51,475
WE WERE ABANDONED,
AND NOW LITTLE HILARYSWANK
403
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:54,412
WON'T STOP CRYING
AND PUKING AND PEEING.
404
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,449
- AND DID I MENTION CRYING?
- LILY, GET A GRIP.
405
00:21:58,518 --> 00:21:59,850
[BABY WAILS]
406
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,351
RED.
407
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,390
RED.
408
00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:08,426
OKAY, SHE'S A GLAMAZON.
GREEN.
409
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,127
ENJOY YOUR DIS-INVITATION.
410
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:12,129
JUST SO THERE'S NO,
"I HEARD ABOUT IT.
411
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:14,732
GEE, I WONDER IF I'M INVITED"
MISUNDERSTANDING LATER.
412
00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:20,971
THAT'S IT. THIS IS THE PERFECT
OPPORTUNITY TO SHAKE THINGS UP.
413
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,273
DON'T WORRY, YOU GUYS.
I'M A GLAMAZON.
414
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,275
I DECIDE
WHO GETS ON THIS LIST,
415
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,778
WHETHER NICOLE OR PSYCHO CHERRY
LIKES IT OR NOT.
416
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:31,081
DO YOU SEE HOW
SHE PRIORITIZES, SAM?
417
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:34,785
PLANNING A PARTY WHILE HER CHILD
TEETERS ON THE EDGE.
418
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:39,323
YOU HAVE ONE THING TO DO.
HOW HARD IS IT
TO TAKE CARE OF A DOLL?
419
00:22:39,392 --> 00:22:41,959
WHAT DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?
420
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:45,796
SIT AROUND IN MY ROBE WATCHING
TABITHA AND JIMMY CAVORT?
421
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:49,800
WHAT, YOU CAN'T
HANDLE A LITTLE CRYING?
YOU WANT ME TO DO EVERYTHING?
422
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,802
FINE. I WILL.
423
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:56,006
I BETTER GO GET SOME
POSTPARTUM HERBAL REMEDY.
424
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,912
- NO.
- BE ON TIME.
425
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,414
- NEVER.
- SAME.
426
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:06,584
YEAH, I'D RATHER DIE.
DROP YOUR CARD, BABY.
427
00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:09,119
HELLO THERE, LADIES.
IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU,
428
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:12,122
I'D LIKE TO HEAD OFF
WITH THE LITTLE SPROGS EARLY.
429
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:14,158
SET UP THE NURSERY
FOR TONIGHT'S SOIREE.
430
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,793
WAIT A MINUTE.
431
00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:18,461
WHAT IN THE NAME OF
OLIVER TWIST IS GOING ON HERE?
432
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,131
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,
BUT DIDN'T MY BABY HAVE A NOSE?
433
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,634
ALLERGIES.
434
00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:25,368
- [BABIES CRYING]
- [NANNY GASPS]
435
00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:28,205
SHE FELL UNDER A CAR, MUM.
436
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:32,375
THAT'S ALL. IT'S NOTHING
TO BE ALARMED ABOUT.
437
00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:33,911
TOODLES. SEE YOU TONIGHT.
438
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:41,418
WHAT'S COME OVER ME?
439
00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:44,988
MY MATERNAL INSTINCTS
ARE CLAWING THEIR WAY
TO THE SURFACE.
440
00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:47,324
I THINK I'M WORRIED
ABOUT THOSE KIDS.
441
00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:49,326
I THINK I'M WORRIED
ABOUT OUR GRADES.
442
00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:52,329
IF CLAW FINDS OUT WE'VE HIRED
THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE,
443
00:23:52,398 --> 00:23:57,134
OUR REIGN WILL BE SHORTER
THAN THE DRESS I PLAN
TO WHORE MYSELF IN TONIGHT.
444
00:23:57,203 --> 00:23:59,670
I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.
I REALLY AM.
445
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,608
SIR, TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS
446
00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:07,410
IS THAT THE KIDNAPPERS
HAVE NOT CONTACTED ME AGAIN.
447
00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:09,412
- I'M THE VICTIM HERE.
- PERHAPS.
448
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:12,983
BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE
THE FACT THAT IT WAS
YOUR FAILURE AS A PARENT
449
00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:15,319
THAT GOT YOU INTO THIS MESS.
450
00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:17,988
MISS McQUEEN,
CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME
451
00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:21,959
YOU FEEL YOU HAVE FULLY
LIVED UP TO YOUR PARENTAL
RESPONSIBILITIES?
452
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:25,428
IF THE POINT OF THE ASSIGNMENT
WAS TO UNDERSTAND
453
00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:28,031
THE RIGORS AND DIFFICULTIES
OF BEING A PARENT,
454
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:29,599
THEN, YES, I HAVE.
455
00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:32,936
WELL, THEN, CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU PASS.
456
00:24:33,005 --> 00:24:34,538
YES!
457
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:38,475
THE ONLY CONSEQUENCE
YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH
IS YOUR OWN GUILT.
458
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,698
ARE YOU SURE WE'RE INVITED?
459
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:05,002
YES, APRIL,
I CHANGED THE LIST MYSELF.
460
00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:07,204
- [BABY WHINES]
- SHH.
461
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:11,741
YOU'D BETTER NOT BE TEASING
MY SOPPING WET LOINS,
CARMEN FERRARA.
462
00:25:11,811 --> 00:25:14,511
APRIL, JUST TRUST ME.
SHOW UP TONIGHT.
463
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:16,647
- [BABY WAILS]
- [CARMEN GROANS]
464
00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:20,417
HILARYSWANK, ENOUGH. BE STILL.
OKAY, MOMMY'S GONNA ROCK YOU.
465
00:25:21,987 --> 00:25:25,889
[DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYS]
466
00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:08,198
[MUSIC CRESCENDOS]
467
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,768
I THINK IT'S DEAD.
468
00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:17,607
- COME ON IN.
- HAVE FUN.
469
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:20,043
THIS IS A PRIVATE PARTY.
GO AWAY, SPAZZAHOLIC.
470
00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:21,745
'FRAID NOT. BIG BROTHER'S HERE,
471
00:26:21,814 --> 00:26:23,814
AND YOUR EVENING
HAS COME TO AN END.
472
00:26:23,883 --> 00:26:27,885
SEND HOME YOUR COMPATRIOTS
AND MARCH UPSTAIRS
TO YOUR ROOM IMMEDIATELY.
473
00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,553
- WHY'S HE HERE?
- SEE, I WAS INVITED.
474
00:26:30,623 --> 00:26:33,656
I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME HERE.
YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN,
PIZZA FACE.
475
00:26:33,725 --> 00:26:36,326
TRY AND STOP ME, BABE.
[SCOFFS]
476
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:06,757
YOU LITTLE COPYCATS!
477
00:27:06,826 --> 00:27:08,225
THE PG-13 SET
478
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:10,260
NEEDS TO CLEAR OUT,
'CAUSE IT'S NC-17 TIME.
479
00:27:10,329 --> 00:27:12,162
SORRY TO SPRING THIS,
BUT TAKE NOTE:
480
00:27:12,231 --> 00:27:15,198
"SURPRISE IS
AN EFFECTIVE WEAPON." SUN TZU.
481
00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:19,436
"KNOW YOUR ENEMY BETTER THAN
SHE KNOWS HERSELF." SUN TZU.
482
00:27:19,504 --> 00:27:21,738
WE SAW AN OPPORTUNITY HERE,
AND WE SEIZED IT.
483
00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:24,341
WE REALIZED THE ONLY THING
COOLER THAN EXCLUSIVITY
484
00:27:24,409 --> 00:27:25,743
WAS HIGH SCHOOL BOYS.
485
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:27,544
SOMETHING YOU HAVE
NOW FORGOTTEN,
486
00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:30,213
ALONG WITH AN INCRIMINATING
SUPPLY OF ALCOHOL.
487
00:27:30,282 --> 00:27:33,583
SO DO AS YOU'RE TOLD, OR WE'LL
CALL THE COPS ON OURSELVES.
488
00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:34,885
CORRUPTING MINORS?
489
00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:36,920
I BELIEVE THAT'S
A GLAMAZON RULES VIOLATION.
490
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:40,090
NOW GET IN THE KITCHEN
AND START MOVING THE CHICKEN.
491
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,859
- GREAT.
- OW.
492
00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:49,933
- [PHONE RINGS]
- [GLASS BREAKS]
493
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:57,140
- HELLO?
- I HAVE YOUR BABY.
494
00:27:58,577 --> 00:28:00,544
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
495
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:02,546
COME TO THE BACKYARD
OF THE DICK HOUSE.
496
00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,882
- YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE LATE.
- HONEY?
497
00:28:04,950 --> 00:28:07,184
I HAVE YOUR BABY, AND GRADES
ARE ALL YOU CARE ABOUT.
498
00:28:07,252 --> 00:28:09,719
WHO IS THIS?
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
499
00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:11,921
- ONE HOUR.
- JOSH?
500
00:28:11,991 --> 00:28:14,758
- [DIAL TONE]
- YOU ALL RIGHT?
501
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:18,728
I'M FINE, DADDY. IT'S JUST
SOME STUPID CRANK CALL.
502
00:28:19,831 --> 00:28:22,065
WELL, HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.
503
00:28:25,971 --> 00:28:28,172
[LAUGHS]
504
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,509
IF IT'S ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU, I THINK I WOULD
LIKE TO KEEP THIS ONE.
505
00:28:32,578 --> 00:28:34,244
ARE YOU KIDDING?
506
00:28:34,313 --> 00:28:36,646
DADDY, THAT DAY
WAS MISERABLE FOR BOTH OF US.
507
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:39,883
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW
EMBARRASSING IT IS
508
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:41,985
FOR A MAN TO EXPLAIN
WHAT MENSTRUATION MEANS
509
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,354
[MUFFLED]
TO HIS OWN DAUGHTER.
510
00:28:44,423 --> 00:28:47,757
[LAUGHS] IT GIVES ME CHILLS
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
511
00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:51,161
- AND THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANT TO REMEMBER?
- YES.
512
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,230
BECAUSE AFTER
I HELPED YOU OUT,
513
00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:55,532
I STAYED AND I WATCHED YOU
PRACTICE YOUR CHEERS.
514
00:28:55,601 --> 00:28:59,369
AND WHILE YOU WERE LAUGHING
AND SMILING WITH YOUR FRIENDS,
515
00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:03,640
I... I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE...
516
00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:05,908
BECAUSE OF ME,
YOU FELT BETTER.
517
00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:09,213
I DID.
518
00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:14,184
AND I ALSO REALIZED,
AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT,
519
00:29:15,621 --> 00:29:18,221
THAT YOU AND I
WERE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT--
520
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,524
THAT WE WERE
GONNA BE A FAMILY.
521
00:29:22,627 --> 00:29:24,561
WE ARE A FAMILY.
522
00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:29,233
DADDY, PLEASE BELIEVE ME.
I AM NOT DOING THIS TO HURT YOU.
523
00:29:29,301 --> 00:29:31,001
OH, I KNOW, HONEY.
524
00:29:33,872 --> 00:29:38,141
I LOVE YOU, BROOKE, AND IF THIS
IS WHAT'S GONNA MAKE YOU HAPPY,
525
00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:40,644
THEN I'M JUST GONNA LEARN
TO LIVE WITH IT.
526
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:03,967
BYE.
527
00:30:11,576 --> 00:30:13,543
[SOBBING]
528
00:30:22,954 --> 00:30:24,454
ALL PACKED UP.
529
00:30:28,594 --> 00:30:30,693
I KNOW YOU'RE SAD, HONEY.
530
00:30:30,762 --> 00:30:34,564
BUT I PROMISE YOU,
YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY
ADORE THE BAY AREA.
531
00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:39,002
AND REMEMBER, EVERY TIME
A WINDOW CLOSES, A DOOR OPENS.
532
00:30:39,071 --> 00:30:40,204
I KNOW.
533
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:47,044
IT'S JUST THAT I'VE LEFT
THINGS SUCH A MESS.
534
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:49,446
I HAVE THIS EMPTY FEELING
IN MY STOMACH.
535
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:56,053
MOM, THERE'S THIS PARTY TONIGHT,
AND MAYBE IF I STOP BY...
536
00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:59,256
BROOKE, YOU'LL ONLY
MAKE YOURSELF FEEL WORSE.
537
00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:00,790
PLEASE, MOM.
538
00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:04,761
I KNOW IT'LL BE EASIER
FOR ME TO START OVER
IF I GET SOME CLOSURE.
539
00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:08,165
OKAY.
540
00:31:11,837 --> 00:31:13,303
WHERE IS THIS PARTY?
541
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,208
IT'S TUNA.
542
00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:21,311
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
543
00:31:38,297 --> 00:31:40,630
- HEY.
- HEY.
544
00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:44,268
I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU, CARM.
545
00:31:44,336 --> 00:31:47,137
YOU REALLY DID DO SOME GOOD.
546
00:31:47,206 --> 00:31:49,239
OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH.
547
00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:53,042
SORRY.
548
00:31:54,546 --> 00:31:57,580
NO, I'M... THE ONE
THAT SHOULD BE SORRY.
549
00:31:57,649 --> 00:31:59,216
I...
550
00:31:59,284 --> 00:32:01,751
I ALSO DID SOME BAD.
551
00:32:01,820 --> 00:32:04,554
- [BABY CRIES]
- OH, MY GOD.
552
00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:06,889
IS HILARYSWANK GONNA BE OKAY?
553
00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:09,926
UH, JUDGING BY
THE SEVERED VERTEBRAE,
554
00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:12,829
MOTOR CONTROL
IS A THING OF THE PAST.
555
00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:16,499
I'M REALLY SORRY, LIL.
I SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR YOU.
556
00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:21,471
IT'S JUST THAT,
SPEARHEADING A MOVEMENT
FOR SOCIAL CHANGE IS TOUGH.
557
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:25,542
BUT NO TOUGHER THAN
TAKING CARE OF A BABY.
558
00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:29,679
THANKS. IT MEANS A LOT.
559
00:32:29,748 --> 00:32:32,782
[BABY CRIES]
560
00:32:32,851 --> 00:32:34,384
JUICE.
561
00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:39,722
[SLURPING]
562
00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:47,330
NIC, ON THE ONE HAND
I'M QUITE PROUD
563
00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:50,067
OF THE EXTRAORDINARY
ACHIEVEMENTS OF OUR PROTÉGÉS.
564
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:53,703
YET, ON THE OTHER,
I WISH THEM TO BE THE VICTIMS
565
00:32:53,772 --> 00:32:56,506
OF A DISFIGURING
AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT.
566
00:32:57,676 --> 00:32:59,442
HEY. WHY SO GLUM?
567
00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:01,378
I DON'T KNOW.
568
00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,380
GUESS I'M GONNA MISS BROOKE.
569
00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:05,382
- ME, TOO.
- [BABY CRIES]
570
00:33:05,451 --> 00:33:07,851
IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP.
571
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:12,221
OH, LOVE WILL SURELY
CURE WHAT AILS YOU.
572
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:14,156
ALONG WITH THE BACK OF MY HAND.
573
00:33:15,461 --> 00:33:18,962
WELL, MY, MY. LOOK.
574
00:33:21,566 --> 00:33:24,634
I KNEW THAT UNSTABLE BRIT
COULDN'T RESIST.
575
00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:29,038
MARY CHERRY, WE DID IT.
WE'VE GOT OUR DELOREAN MOMENT.
576
00:33:32,544 --> 00:33:34,477
[LAUGHING]
577
00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:36,513
OOH... OOH.
578
00:33:38,983 --> 00:33:43,253
NOTHING A LITTLE ICE AND
A SHIATSU MASSAGE WON'T FIX.
579
00:33:43,322 --> 00:33:45,488
SAVE THE CREATIVITY
FOR YOUR RÉSUMÉ.
580
00:33:45,557 --> 00:33:47,924
- KNOCK, KNOCK.
- WHO'S THERE?
581
00:33:47,993 --> 00:33:49,025
NANNY CAM.
582
00:33:49,093 --> 00:33:52,095
[LAUGHING]
583
00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:54,264
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU HAVE THERE?
584
00:33:54,333 --> 00:33:57,600
COME NOW. DO YOU TRULY
BELIEVE YOUR TEACHER
WILL ALLOW MY ACTIONS
585
00:33:57,669 --> 00:34:00,903
TO EXCUSE
YOUR WOEFUL LACK OF JUDGMENT?
586
00:34:00,972 --> 00:34:05,175
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY
ISN'T SOMETHING THAT CAN BE
EASILY PASSED ALONG LIKE...
587
00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:07,177
CRABS.
588
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:10,012
THE ONLY SURE RESULT
IS EVERLASTING EMOTIONAL AGONY.
589
00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:14,784
YOU SEE, I KNOW THIS FIRSTHAND
BECAUSE I AM A CHILD OF ABUSE,
590
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:18,788
STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE
UNFORGIVABLE NEGLECT.
591
00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:21,224
YEAH, SORRY. I MUST'VE
MISSED OPRAH'S ENTRANCE.
592
00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:23,860
MAKE LIGHT ALL YOU WANT.
593
00:34:23,928 --> 00:34:25,895
KNOW THIS.
594
00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:28,130
BAD PARENTING
STAYS WITH YOU.
595
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:30,467
SOMETIMES IN THE FORM
OF CYCLICAL ABUSE.
596
00:34:30,536 --> 00:34:33,302
SOMETIMES, IN MY CASE, IN
THE FORM OF CLINICAL INSANITY.
597
00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:35,638
BUT HARBOR NO ILLUSIONS.
598
00:34:35,707 --> 00:34:38,308
YOUR MISTAKES
WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU...
599
00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:40,410
- [GASPS]
- EVENTUALLY.
600
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,516
GOOD DAY, MUMS.
601
00:34:49,821 --> 00:34:54,224
WELL, THIS IS RIDICULOUS, OKAY?
'CAUSE THEY'RE JUST DOLLS.
602
00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:58,094
AND YET, I'M TOUCHED
BY HER EXPLANATION.
603
00:34:58,162 --> 00:35:00,096
WHAT IF SHE'S RIGHT, NIC?
604
00:35:00,164 --> 00:35:03,099
IF SHE'S RIGHT, THESE DOLLS
ARE THE LEAST OF OUR WORRIES.
605
00:35:03,167 --> 00:35:05,668
DON'T FORGET, EM & EM
ARE GOING TO KENNEDY NEXT YEAR.
606
00:35:05,737 --> 00:35:09,338
AND AFTER THIS HUMILIATION,
WE'LL BE FORCED TO WALK
THE HALLS IN SHAME,
607
00:35:09,408 --> 00:35:11,408
REDUCED TO TUNA-ESQUE STATUS.
608
00:35:11,476 --> 00:35:14,110
OUR COURSE IS CLEAR.
609
00:35:14,179 --> 00:35:17,447
WE HAVE TO GO OUT THERE
AND DISCIPLINE
OUR YOUNG APPRENTICES.
610
00:35:17,516 --> 00:35:19,916
THIS CYCLE OF ABUSE ENDS NOW.
611
00:35:28,227 --> 00:35:29,492
JOSH?
612
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:39,168
[BABY CRYING]
613
00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:44,707
HEY, HEY.
HEY, HEY. IT'S OKAY.
614
00:35:48,614 --> 00:35:52,949
[CRYING CONTINUES]
615
00:35:53,018 --> 00:35:56,819
HEY, DON'T CRY. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE BY YOURSELF?
616
00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:59,856
DON'T WORRY. I'M HERE.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
617
00:35:59,924 --> 00:36:03,125
- YOU'RE SWEET.
- I FOUND IT IN THE HALLWAY.
618
00:36:04,963 --> 00:36:07,897
I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT BACK.
619
00:36:07,966 --> 00:36:10,267
THEN I FIGURED I'D NEED
620
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:14,371
EVERY WEAPON AT MY DISPOSAL
TO KEEP YOU AROUND.
621
00:36:14,439 --> 00:36:17,374
I THOUGHT FOR SURE
THAT IT WAS JOSH.
622
00:36:17,442 --> 00:36:21,811
'CAUSE ONLY SOMEONE
WHO CARED DEEPLY FOR YOU
WOULD GO TO SUCH LENGTHS?
623
00:36:24,148 --> 00:36:27,416
WELL, THERE IS ONE THING
I CARE DEEPLY FOR,
624
00:36:27,486 --> 00:36:28,885
AND THAT'S MY FAMILY.
625
00:36:28,953 --> 00:36:32,121
AND, FOR BETTER
OR FOR WORSE,
626
00:36:32,191 --> 00:36:35,525
YOU AND MIKE
HAVE BECOME A PART OF IT.
627
00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:39,696
BROOKE, DO ME A FAVOR.
628
00:36:40,966 --> 00:36:44,167
JUST CONSIDER CAREFULLY
WHAT YOU'RE LEAVING,
629
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:50,273
WHERE YOU'RE GOING,
THE HISTORY YOU'RE REPEATING.
630
00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:54,143
I DON'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT BEING A PARENT,
631
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,245
BUT THERE IS ONE THING
I'M CERTAIN OF.
632
00:36:58,382 --> 00:37:00,750
A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER
LEAVE A CHILD.
633
00:37:24,943 --> 00:37:28,277
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
634
00:37:38,557 --> 00:37:40,489
- [RECORD SCRATCHES]
- HEY, OLSEN TWINS.
635
00:37:40,559 --> 00:37:44,226
PUT AWAY THE DISCO BALL.
THE PARTY'S OVER.
NOW, HERE'S THE DEAL.
636
00:37:44,295 --> 00:37:46,929
DO AS YOU ARE TOLD,
OR MOM AND PAPA DICK
637
00:37:46,998 --> 00:37:50,633
ARE GOING TO BE
THE RECIPIENTS OF ONE VERY
CURFEW-CURBING PHONE CALL.
638
00:37:50,702 --> 00:37:54,637
- YOU'VE NO IDEA
HOW TO REACH THEM.
- STONEHENGE EMBASSY SUITES.
639
00:37:54,706 --> 00:37:56,138
SUITE 212.
640
00:37:56,207 --> 00:37:57,974
"INFORMATION IS
THE CURRENCY OF POWER."
641
00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,442
[BOTH]
JOAN CRAWFORD.
642
00:37:59,511 --> 00:38:02,144
- YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
- WE'LL JUST DIAL 911,
643
00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:05,648
AND IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,
POLICE RESPONSE
IS NEARLY INSTANTANEOUS.
644
00:38:05,717 --> 00:38:09,752
WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT
OURSELVES A BITCHES STANDOFF.
645
00:38:12,057 --> 00:38:13,990
[WOOD BREAKING]
646
00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:15,692
ALL RIGHT, YOU SOULLESS HORRORS,
647
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,395
THIS PAGAN CELEBRATION
MUST CEASE NOW!
648
00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:22,164
GO AHEAD. CALL THE POLICE.
649
00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:26,636
BECAUSE WE'RE JUST HERE
RESPONDING TO OUR GOOD FRIEND
EMORY'S PLEA FOR HELP.
650
00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:29,906
THE WORDS OF TWO
INNOCENT 14-YEAR-OLDS
WITH SPOTLESS RECORDS
651
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:33,576
WILL DO QUITE WELL AGAINST
YOU TWO AND YOUR SORDID PASTS.
652
00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:36,345
NOT IF THERE'S A VIDEOTAPE.
653
00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:39,048
WONDER WHAT THE CAMERA
MAY HAVE WITNESSED?
654
00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:42,385
COULD IT BE THE AFOREMENTIONED
TWO INNOCENT 14-YEAR-OLDS
655
00:38:42,454 --> 00:38:45,188
SHOTGUNNING BARTLES AND JAMES?
656
00:38:45,256 --> 00:38:47,190
OKAY, EVERYONE,
IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.
657
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:50,259
IT'S PAST EMILY
AND EMMA'S BEDTIME.
658
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:54,797
WELL, IT WOULD APPEAR
THAT YOU TWO HAVE
A LOT TO THINK ABOUT...
659
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,299
WHILE YOU CLEAN!
660
00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:57,433
GET CRACKING!
661
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:06,375
NOW WILL SOMEONE PLEASE
TELL ME WHERE THE HELL
MY DOLL IS SO I CAN GO?
662
00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:15,918
OH, Y'ALL. SUGAR DADDY HAS
REATTACHED OUR BABIES' HEADS
663
00:39:15,987 --> 00:39:19,255
WITH THE SKILL OF
A BEVERLY HILLS PLASTIC SURGEON.
664
00:39:19,323 --> 00:39:21,358
[MARY] LEAVE 'EM NAPPIN'.
665
00:39:21,426 --> 00:39:23,960
[SNORES]
666
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,067
[CAR DOOR OPENS]
667
00:39:36,975 --> 00:39:38,908
DID EVERYTHING
GO AS YOU HOPED?
668
00:39:40,144 --> 00:39:42,078
NOT REALLY.
669
00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:43,446
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
670
00:39:43,515 --> 00:39:46,415
SOMETIMES IT'S JUST BEST
TO CUT TIES QUICKLY.
671
00:39:52,691 --> 00:39:54,456
I CAN'T GO WITH YOU.
672
00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:58,060
IS THIS ABOUT JOSH?
673
00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:00,629
BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T LET
A BOY STAND IN YOUR WAY.
674
00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:02,298
OR A CHILD?
675
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:06,468
YOU LEFT WHEN I
NEEDED YOU MOST,
676
00:40:06,537 --> 00:40:08,271
WHEN...
677
00:40:08,339 --> 00:40:10,439
WHEN CHARLIE SHEINBERG
678
00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:12,441
DUMPED ME.
679
00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:15,444
AND I THOUGHT I WOULD
NEVER LIKE ANOTHER BOY.
680
00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:18,948
OR WHEN I CRIED UNCONTROLLABLY
AT MY FIRST JV PEP RALLY
681
00:40:19,017 --> 00:40:21,283
BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT MY PERIOD WAS.
682
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:27,990
YOU DON'T GET TO SKIP
TO THE GOOD PART WHEN YOU
WEREN'T AROUND FOR THE BAD.
683
00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:30,259
BROOKE, THAT'S UNFAIR.
684
00:40:30,328 --> 00:40:31,661
I AM DOING MY BEST.
685
00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:34,030
I JUST NEED TIME
TO CATCH UP ON THINGS.
686
00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:35,197
I KNOW.
687
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:41,003
I-I-I GUESS... I'M SAYING
688
00:40:41,072 --> 00:40:43,005
THAT I DON'T...
689
00:40:44,109 --> 00:40:46,876
NEED ANOTHER PARENT.
690
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,714
I ALREADY HAVE ONE,
AND HE'S DOING A GREAT JOB.
691
00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:57,787
SO THAT'S IT?
692
00:40:59,190 --> 00:41:02,458
ALL THAT TALK ABOUT
BEING SO HAPPY TO MEET AGAIN,
693
00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:05,027
ALL THAT JOY IN YOUR FACE...
694
00:41:05,096 --> 00:41:07,629
THAT MEANS NOTHING ANYMORE?
695
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,967
I LOVE YOU.
696
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:17,907
AND I AM SO GLAD
THAT I GOT TO KNOW YOU.
697
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:22,645
AND I KNOW THAT WE ARE GOING
TO BE IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES NOW.
698
00:41:23,782 --> 00:41:25,815
BUT YOU SEE, I SPENT...
699
00:41:26,952 --> 00:41:28,217
YEARS...
700
00:41:29,788 --> 00:41:34,924
AND THIS ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF TIME
AND ENERGY JUST WONDERING,
701
00:41:36,460 --> 00:41:38,260
GOD, WHAT ARE YOU LIKE,
702
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:41,530
AND HOPING THAT YOU
WOULD JUST SHOW UP.
703
00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:46,603
AND YOU DID.
704
00:41:47,738 --> 00:41:50,406
AND I AM SO THANKFUL
FOR THAT.
705
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,776
BUT NOW I CAN STOP.
706
00:41:57,816 --> 00:41:59,415
NOW...
707
00:42:00,785 --> 00:42:02,652
IT'S MY TURN TO LEAVE.
708
00:42:31,082 --> 00:42:33,082
[BROOKE]
IT'S TRUE, YOU KNOW.
709
00:42:34,585 --> 00:42:37,119
YOU ARE THE GREATEST.
710
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:43,625
I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG
FOR ME TO REALIZE IT.
711
00:42:47,198 --> 00:42:49,032
YOU'RE HOME.
712
00:43:03,948 --> 00:43:05,547
THANK YOU.
713
00:43:12,991 --> 00:43:14,924
YOU'RE WELCOME.
714
00:43:30,008 --> 00:43:33,509
♪ TO BEND AND NOT TO BREAK
715
00:43:33,577 --> 00:43:37,313
♪ CHIN UP, TRY NOT TO QUAKE
716
00:43:37,381 --> 00:43:40,950
♪ I'M GRINNING ON THE OUTSIDE
717
00:43:41,019 --> 00:43:44,253
♪ BUT I'M A WRECK INTERNALLY
718
00:43:47,025 --> 00:43:49,859
♪ OOH LA LA LA LA
719
00:43:54,432 --> 00:43:58,534
♪ OOH LA LA LA LA ♪