PREVIOUSLY ON POPULAR...
FERRARA, YOU CANNOT SLEEP AT THIS SCHOOL.
- ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME GO TO A SHELTER? - NO. COME TO MY HOUSE.
SAM WHAT IS UP WITH YOU?
JUST TRYING TO HAVE FUN AND GET THE VOTE OUT.
I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
LET'S JUST SAY, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN VOTE FOR A GIRL I'M ALLERGIC TO.
- IS THAT COUGH SYRUP? - YEAH.
IF IT'LL HELP YOU RELAX, I'LL TAKE SOME.
[LILY] WE'RE IN TROUBLE AND NEED HELP.
- TROUBLE? THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT. - [JOSH] YOU'RE OUR ONLY OUT.
I'VE GOTTA TAKE THAT DRUG TEST IN FIVE MINUTES.
- WHY AM I HERE? - THE RESULTS OF YOUR URINE TEST ARE IN.
YOU TESTED POSITIVE FOR DRUGS.
- WHY'D YOU PLAY ME, HARRISON? - PLAY YOU? I DID YOU A FAVOR.
- A UNETHICAL ONE I GOT PUSHED INTO. - I NEVER WOULD'VE COME TO YOU,
IF I'D KNOWN YOU'RE HOPPED UP ON SYRUP.
- NOT HOPPED UP ON ANYTHING. - YOU'RE A LIAR, BRO.
KRUPPS SAID MY URINE HAD CODEINE.
- WHAT? - HE WAS BLUFFING.
HE LAID OUT THE TRAP AND YOU PLAYED INTO IT.
HE PROBABLY GOT A TIP YOU'RE SLURPING SYRUP, A TIP'S NOT ENOUGH,
SO HE TRICKED YOU INTO CONFESSING.
YEAH, WHO'S GONNA TIP HIM OFF, HARRISON?
BROOKE... TO GET BACK AT US.
DID YOU... NARK ME OUT FOR IT?
DON'T WORRY, SCRUB, I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT.
ANYWAY, KRUPPS IS STARTING RANDOM DRUG TESTING.
YOU'D BETTER GET ON THAT HERBAL DETOX WE TALKED ABOUT.
JOSH, I AM SO SORRY. I NEVER MEANT...
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN? YEAH, I GOT IT.
[SCOFFS]
HARRISON, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT TAKING DRUGS?
- LOOK ME IN THE EYE. - I TOLD YOU, NO.
FACE YOUR DEMONS, LIL. YOU AND JOSH SCREWED UP BIG TIME.
LOOK AT THE MIRROR, NOT AT ME.
♪ THINK IT OVER ONCE OR TWICE
♪ WHAT LASTS THE LONGEST IN THIS LIFE
♪ CHARACTER OR ROCK-HARD THIGHS
♪ IN THE END DO YOU BELIEVE
♪ THAT BEAUTY LIES IN WHAT YOU SEE
♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU DO THEN BABY
♪ YOU'VE BEEN DECEIVED
♪ WELL ME AND B
♪ WE HATE SUPERMODELS
♪ IT'S JUST THAT I'M TIRED OF BEING COMPARED ♪
- I BURN. - IT'S SUPPOSED TO BURN, COMPLAINER.
IT'S TOOTH BLEACH CUT WITH SULFURIC ACID.
IF YOU WANT TO BEAT OUT McPHERSON
AND THOSE BLONDES, NICOLE JULIAN AND MARY CHERRY,
FOR HOMECOMING QUEEN, YOUR CHOPPERS HAVE TO DAZZLE.
NOW SPIT AND SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
NOW THAT YOU'VE COMMITTED TO GOING FOR QUEEN,
YOU JUST NEED TO DRESS THE PART.
RIGHT, OKAY. TODAY, DURING MY MOM'S TAE-BO CLASS,
I'M GONNA SNEAK IN MY HOUSE AND GET MY DRESSES.
FABULOUS, FERRARA.
NOW, LET'S HANG UP OUR QUEENLY POSTERS.
AND NOW,
THROUGH MORE JUDICIOUS ABUSE
OF MY FACULTY PRIVILEGES,
WE CAN BE ASSURED THAT, LIKE MY VIRGINITY,
THIS CARMEN FOR QUEEN POSTER SHALL REMAIN WELL PROTECTED.
BUT THOSE ARE THE SAT TESTING SITES.
YOU WANT TO SUCCEED IN LIFE? YOU HAVE TO BE RUTHLESS.
EXCELLENT ADVICE, ROBERTA.
HELLACIOUS, NICE TO SEE YOU.
WHAT A FLATTERING SHADE OF BLOOD RED.
OH, BACKING A STUDENT, SHE-MALE?
YOU SHOULD'VE COME TO ME.
SADLY, YOU'RE FATE IS NOW SEALED.
BOBBI'S A BIG, FAT LOSER.
ALWAYS HAS BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE.
MISS GLASS, DON'T LET HER TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE NOT 17 ANYMORE, FIGHT BACK.
WHAT ARE YOU, GIRLIE? A REFEREE? IF SO, PRIORITIZE.
THE BATTLE BOBBI NEEDS TO WIN IS THE ONE AGAINST THE BULGE.
YOU KNOW, IF THIS SCHOOL KNEW WHAT KIND OF A PERSON YOU REALLY ARE,
I DON'T THINK THEY'D BE HONORING YOU.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. AN ILLICIT LOCKER SEARCH?
NOW WE HAVE TO SHOW MY LOVE POEMS TO CARSON DALY.
GOD, CARMEN IS SO SQUEAKY CLEAN.
SHE MAKES ME SICK.
NIC, I NOW REALIZE WE HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO RESORT TO SORCERY.
OH, DARK FORCES... GUIDE US. GIVE US DIRT.
PROVIDE US THE MEANS TO DESTROY CARMIE.
[GROWLS]
PMS, MISS AKERS?
THE ONLY BLOAT IN MY LIFE IS THAT HIDEOUS BOBBI
AND HER LACKEY, CARMEN FERRARA.
WHO JUST PUBLICLY ACCUSED ME OF LACKING COMPASSION.
- [GASPS] - [AKERS] THAT'S A LIE.
I PLEDGE A DOLLAR EVERY YEAR TO JERRY'S KIDS.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY, MISS GLASS THINKS CARMEN'S VICTORY
WILL RECTIFY HER PATHETIC PAST.
I'LL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN.
AS THIS SCHOOL'S MOST HONORED QUEEN,
IT IS MY DUTY TO SEE TO IT
THAT THAT WALL IS NEVER SULLIED.
AND IF CARMEN LOSES,
IT WILL FORCE BOBBI GLASS TO REALIZE WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS KNOWN.
NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.
OH, LEADER OF OUR UNHOLY TRINITY,
WE'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE AND CAN'T FIND ANYTHING TO SMEAR CARMEN.
[SCOFFS] THIS IS KID'S STUFF.
CARMEN'S SECRET SURROUNDS HER.
HAUNTING HER ALWAYS.
AND LIKE ALL OF US, SHE KEEPS IT BURIED ELSEWHERE.
TO FIND THIS DARK, HIDDEN PLACE,
YOU MUST DIG DEEPER,
DEEPER, DEEPER.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
SAMMY, PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE SOME ASPIRIN.
HEADACHE? OUCH.
YUP, JACKPOT.
THANK YOU.
- GEORGE, COULD, COULD WE TALK? - SORRY, I CAN'T CHAT. I GOT A CLASS.
HOW CAN I APOLOGIZE TO PEOPLE
IF THEY WON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE?
HEY, HEY, ROBERT DOWNEY JR. YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
- JUST ANOTHER MIGRAINE. - ANOTHER?
THEY COME, THEY GO. I'VE BEEN TAKING VICOBURIN
UNTIL YESTERDAY BUT I RAN OUT.
THEN CALL IN FOR ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION.
I CAN'T, IT'LL SHOW ON KRUPPS' TEST.
THEN GET A NOTE FROM YOUR DOCTOR.
UNLESS YOU'RE USING YOUR MOM'S PHARMACY ACCESS
TO SWIPE PAIN PILLS, WHICH IS ILLEGAL.
HUH? HEY, HARRISON, COME ON.
IF YOU'RE IN PAIN YOU SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR.
IT'S JUST STRESS.
THE HOMECOMING RACE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'S BEEN SO EASY ON YOU.
LIKEWISE, THIS ELECTION HAS NOT BEEN SO EASY ON MY HEAD.
LOOK, AFTER FRIDAY'S VOTE, I WILL BE FINE.
[KRUPPS] STUDENTS, THERE ARE OTHER DRUG ABUSERS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS.
I AM FORCED TO BEGIN RANDOM TESTING IMMEDIATELY.
WILL THE FOLLOWING REPORT TO MY OFFICE:
ERIN FERRET, JENNIFER SUSSMAN AND
- BART FARR. - [GROANS]
THANKS A LOT, FORD.
STUDYING UP ON THE ISSUES, I SEE.
NOT A SURPRISE CONSIDERING YOUR CURRENT "BUST THE EX" CAMPAIGN'S A SUCCESS.
I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. I NEVER WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN.
C'MON, BROOKE. YOU'RE OUT TO GET ME AND LILY.
THIS ELECTION'S A CONVENIENT WAY TO COVER UP YOUR WITCH HUNT.
YOU'RE JEALOUS, THAT LILY AND I SHARE THINGS THAT WE NEVER COULD.
UNLIKE YOU, SHE'S CAPABLE OF CARING ABOUT OTHER THINGS BESIDES HERSELF.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, JOSH. I AM CAPABLE, TOO.
THIS ISSUE, FOR EXAMPLE, IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.
SAVE THE PROPAGANDA FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
LILY'S SHOWN ME WHAT CARING AND ACTIVISM TRULY IS.
WHERE'S YOUR ACTIVIST NOW? SHE'S GETTING OFF SCOT-FREE
WHILE YOU'RE TAKING THE RAP ALL BY YOURSELF.
YEAH, YEAH. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REAL BOND TO ME.
WOULD YOU PLEASE EXCUSE ME, SINCE ALL THE GAY CHIMPS IN LA HAVE BEEN FREED,
I'M GONNA CONCENTRATE ON HELPING PEOPLE.
- OH! - AH, SORRY TO BARGE IN ON YOU.
- CAN I AT LEAST PUT ON SOME PANTS? - NO.
I'M ABOUT TO BARE ALL, I FIGURE THIS WAY, YOU'RE FORCED TO DO THE SAME.
- SORTA. - FINE.
I KNOW I MADE A BIG MISTAKE, BUT STUFF FOR BARBIE IS GONE.
GOOD BYE, AVEDA, WELCOME BACK, PERT PLUS.
THE FACT THAT YOU HAD THE ABILITY TO TURN ON A DIME IS WHAT GIVES ME PAUSE.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS WON'T HAPPEN IF YOU WIN HOMECOMING QUEEN?
- BECAUSE I'M DROPPING OUT OF THE RACE. - PLEASE DON'T BECAUSE OF ME.
CLEARLY, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU.
IT'S NOT. IT NEVER WAS. THE ONLY REASON I STAYED IN WAS YOU.
[SIGHS] I WAS AFRAID IF I LOST THE RACE,
I'D LOSE YOU.
THE IRONY IS, I LOST MYSELF.
AND IT'S KILLING ME THAT MAYBE MY STUPIDITY
HAS PUSHED YOU AWAY FOR GOOD.
- MAYBE IT DIDN'T. - REALLY?
HMM. SO...
HOW 'BOUT WE START OVER?
TOMORROW, I'LL COOK YOU DINNER.
MM. SOUNDS DELICIOUS.
SAMMY. SAMMY. I NEED A COUPLE OF FAVORS.
NUMBER ONE, BROOKE'S DEMANDING A DEBATE, I NEED A LITTLE HELP.
- DONE. - GREAT.
TWO. I NEED SOME MORE ASPIRIN.
PLEASE.
THAT WILL COST YOU.
[♪ MADONNA: MUSIC ]
♪ MUSIC MIX THE BOURGEOISIE AND THE REBEL ♪
THANK GOD MADONNA INTRODUCED THE WORD "BOURGEOISIE" TO OUR GENERATION.
THIS IS A STAKEOUT, NOT A COFFEE KLATCH.
RIGHT.
HM, NOPE. NO INCRIMINATING ACTIVITY SPOTTED.
WELL, WHAT THE HELL IS CARMEN DOING IN THERE?
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SNEAK IN HERE AND STEAL, LIKE A COMMON THIEF?
WELL, THESE... THESE ARE MY CLOTHES.
I'VE GOT A HIT MAN FROM VISA CALLING ME ALL THE TIME WHO WOULD BEG TO DIFFER.
- WHAT'S IN THAT GLASS, MOM? - WATER.
WHAT'S WITH THE DRESSES?
WHY DO YOU NEED THOSE? ALL YOU WEAR IS SWEATS.
I GOT NOMINATED FOR HOMECOMING QUEEN.
THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?
YEAH, THE CROWNING'S THIS FRIDAY.
MAYBE YOU COULD COME. AND THEN AFTERWARD WE COULD GO OUT AND TALK.
OR SOMETHING. KINDA LIKE WE USED TO DO.
I'VE GOT OTHER PLANS.
WAIT, WAIT. THERE SHE IS, SHE'S GETTING AWAY.
DRIVER! FOLLOW THAT GIRL.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
WE GOT A FLAT. YOU ON TRIPLE A?
SOMEBODY LEFT THIS IN FRONT OF THE WHEEL.
WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL WOULD LEAVE TRASH
RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR GHETTO-FABULOUS LIMOUSINE?
AAH. JOY FERRARA.
WHY WOULD JOY DUMP HER TRASH WAY OVER HERE?
BECAUSE, CLEARLY, SHE HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE.
GIRLS, WE HAVE OUR SMOKING GUN.
♪ MUSIC MAKES THE PEOPLE COME TOGETHER
♪ YEAH ♪
SMILE, SAM. YOU GOT ME TO SEE A DOCTOR. ALL IT TOOK WAS A LITTLE BLACKMAIL.
COME ON, I THINK HELPING YOU WITH THE DEBATE
IN EXCHANGE FOR YOU SEEING A DOCTOR IS A FAIR DEAL.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW SERIOUS BROOKE IS ABOUT THIS ELECTION?
I MEAN, COME ON, DEMANDING A DEBATE.
YOU'VE GOTTA GET HER A NEW BOYFRIEND, SHE HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS.
OKAY, TESTS ARE COMPLETE.
HOWEVER, I CAN'T DISCUSS THE RESULTS WITH YOU WITHOUT A GUARDIAN PRESENT.
WHY? HIS MOM'S OUT OF TOWN ON AN RSVP CRUISE TILL MONDAY.
- WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW. - IT'S THE STATE LAW, HE'S A MINOR.
SO, WE'LL JUST MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR MONDAY.
OR, IF YOU PREFER, I CAN FORWARD YOUR FILES TO YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR...
- NAH! MONDAY'S GREAT. IT'S GREAT. - [SAM SIGHS]
OKAY, GREAT.
WE WILL CALL YOU WITH A TIME.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
IS THIS A SEVEN?
- YEAH. - THANK YOU, MR. CALRISSIAN.
[SOFTLY] YEAH.
- [CLEARS THROAT] - OKAY, OKAY. YOU GOT ME.
- I TOLD HIM I WAS LANDO. - YOU ARE SUFFERING.
- GO BACK AND TELL THEM THE TRUTH. - WHY?
SO HE CAN TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW? I TOLD YOU,
I HAVE CLUSTER MIGRAINE SYMPTOMS. I WENT ONLINE AND LOOKED IT UP.
IT'S MY HEALTH. LET ME WORRY ABOUT IT, OKAY?
- HEY. - HEY.
I CALLED YOU LAST NIGHT. I GUESS YOU DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE.
- HOW ARE YOU? - DIRTY DRUG ABUSER UPDATE:
I FOUND OUT KRUPPS IS GONNA MAKE ME WATCH AN AUTOPSY.
OF A FROG? I GOT THAT BANNED.
OF A REAL TEENAGER WHO DIED DURING A DRUNK DRIVING ACCIDENT.
KRUPPS CALLED MY MOM AND SHE SUPPORTS THE IDEA.
- WHY'D SHE DO THAT? - I DON'T KNOW.
TO PROVE TO THE ALUMNI VISITING THAT THIS SCHOOL IS MAJOR ANTI-DRUG.
I'M FREAKING OUT. I ALMOST PASSED OUT DURING SCREAM 3.
- YOU'RE MAD AT ME, AREN'T YOU? - I'M NOT MAD.
I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED.
- I TOTALLY SCREWED THINGS UP WITH JOSH. - THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
HE'S THE SYRUP FIEND, NOT YOU.
WELL...
I DID SYRUP, TOO.
IN FACT, I KINDA TALKED HIM INTO IT.
WAIT. YOU ARE THE MYSTERIOUS OTHER JUNKIE KRUPPS IS TALKING ABOUT?
ACTUALLY, I THINK HE MAY HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HARRISON.
WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?
I TALKED JOSH AND HARRISON
INTO A WELL INTENTIONED, BUT ULTIMATELY DAMNING,
URINE SWITCHEROO.
OH, MY GOD, THIS ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
- HE'S ON DRUGS, ISN'T HE? - IT'S PAINKILLERS, OKAY?
NOT SYRUP. HE'S BEEN HAVING THESE HORRIBLE MIGRAINES.
WELL, THEN, WHY WOULDN'T HE SAY SOMETHING?
ESPECIALLY BEFORE HE GAVE JOSH TAINTED PEE.
HE PROBABLY DIDN'T REALIZE THERE WAS CODEINE IN IT.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO ADVERTISE IT. HE'S KINDA BEEN WRITING HIS OWN PRESCRIPTION.
HELLO? SOME OF THE MOST ABUSED DRUGS ARE PRESCRIPTION.
NO, NO. I REFUSE TO LET SOME CRAZY SPECULATION
SHAKE MY FAITH IN HARRISON.
I WANT TO BELIEVE THE BEST IN HIM, TOO.
I THINK WE ARE ALL SUFFERING
FROM SEVERE JUDGMENT IMPAIRMENT.
JOSH CAME CLEAN AND STEPPED FORWARD AND DID THE RIGHT THING.
I THINK HARRISON AND I SHOULD DO THE SAME.
WE ALL HAVE TO FACE OUR DEMONS HERE.
[SAM] CARM...
I HAVE DROPPED OUT OF THE RACE FOR QUEEN FOR REAL.
I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY. YOU DON'T THINK I COULD BEAT YOU?
IT IS NOT PITY. I REALLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN BEING QUEEN.
OH, SO YOU WERE JUST UNDERMINING MY CAMPAIGN FOR KICKS?
I DIDN'T REALIZE WHAT I WAS SAYING TO APRIL WHEN I MADE THAT DEAL.
I'M SORRY. IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
I KNOW HOW BAD YOU WANT TO BE QUEEN. I WANT THAT FOR YOU, TOO.
I CAN BEAT YOU, WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR HAIR EXTENSIONS.
DROP OUT, STAY IN. I DON'T CARE. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
CARM...
HI, HONS. A VOTE FOR CARMEN IS A VOTE FOR TEEN ALCOHOLISM.
FIND OUT WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR IF YOU VOTE FOR CARMEN.
MARY CHERRY, NICOLE, HOW DARE YOU?
OH, STOP THE OUTRAGE ACT, WANNABE. WE ALL KNOW ABOUT JOY FERRARA
AND HER MEMBERSHIP TO THE AGED-SCOTCH-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB.
ALCOHOLISM GETS PASSED ON AND WE'D BE REMISS
IF WE DIDN'T INFORM THE ELECTORATE.
YOU GUYS ARE SUCH BITCHES.
- [BOTH LAUGH] - BYE-BYE.
THIS DEBATE IS GOING TO BE A FRIENDLY EXCHANGE OF IDEAS.
I'VE CALLED YOU HEAR BECAUSE TECHNICAL CONSIDERATIONS NEED TO BE ADDRESSED.
NAMELY, LIGHTING. IS NOSFERATU HERE?
OH, GOOD. NOSFERATU, LET'S LIGHT BROOKE.
THIS IS NUTS.
WE'RE HERE TO REVIEW THE SUBSTANTIVE TOPICS OF THE DEBATE.
SON, WE LIVE IN AN OPRAH AGE. POLITICS IS SHOWBIZ, GET USED TO IT.
OKAY, NOSFERATU, LET'S HEAT UP THAT LIGHT ON BROOKE.
A LITTLE HOTTER THAN THAT, PLEASE, AND BRING IT INTO A SPOT.
- HARRISON, DO YOU HAVE A SEC? - YEAH.
YOU LOOK AWFUL. YOU OKAY?
WOULD EVERYBODY PLEASE STOP RIDING MY ASS ABOUT HOW I AM? I'M FINE.
I KNOW THE ISSUES AND I'M GONNA WIN THIS DEBATE.
HOW CAN YOU BE EXPECTED TO DO YOUR BEST WITH A COVER-UP
WEIGHING YOUR CONSCIENCE DOWN?
MY CONSCIENCE IS FINE.
HARRISON, WITH THE RANDOM DRUG TESTING GOING ON,
YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT ANYWAY.
- CAUGHT FOR WHAT? - PAINKILLERS.
[SCOFFS] THANKS, SAMMY.
LOOK, I DID IT ONCE, FOR A MIGRAINE.
[NOSFERATU] MR. JOHN, ARE YOU OUT THERE? WE'RE READY TO LIGHT YOU.
SO, DRUGSTORE COWBOY, YOU GONNA LET JOSH BE THE SCAPEGOAT FOR THIS?
ARE YOU SUGGESTING I TURN MYSELF IN?
MY COMING FORWARD WON'T HELP JOSH.
JOSH DID SYRUP, HE CONFESSED. THERE IS NOTHING I, NOR ANYONE ELSE,
COULD DO TO CHANGE THAT. I DON'T SEE YOU COMING FORWARD.
I AM TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING. I'M JUST FREAKING OUT, OKAY?
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER IF WE TURNED OURSELVES IN TOGETHER.
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ALL THE COVERING UP?
YOU ALREADY LOST A BOYFRIEND, WANNA LOSE A BEST FRIEND, TOO?
'CAUSE IF YOU NARK ME OUT, I WILL NEVER, EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN.
TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF. WHAT IS THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
OH, HEY, LIL LILY, WHY THE LONG FACE?
IS YOUR BOYFRIEND RUNNING LOW ON ROBITUSSIN?
MARY CHERRY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
CARMEN'S NOT AN ALCOHOLIC.
OH, BUT HER MAMA IS.
AND THOSE JORDACHE GENES GET PASSED ON.
HEY, BETWEEN CARMEN AND YOUR SYRUP-FIENDING BEAU,
IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR GROUP'S A REGULAR WALKING, TALKING 12-STEP PROGRAM.
BYE, HON. SEE YA IN BETTY FORD.
LILY?
CARMEN, IS THAT YOU?
YEAH. I JUST NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM THINGS FOR A WHILE.
- WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR? - SABOTAGING MY FIRST ROMANCE
AND BETRAYING EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I STOOD FOR.
YOU?
FAMILY AND IMAGE PROBLEMS.
CARMEN,
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THE NOVAK FOREVER.
AND I DON'T THINK YOU DO, EITHER.
IT'S TIME WE STOPPED LIVING IN FEAR.
IT'S TIME TO FIGHT BACK.
[DISGUSTED SIGH]
- [RINGING] - [CLEARS THROAT]
YES, HI. THIS IS JUDY CALRISSIAN.
MY SON WAS IN EARLIER FOR SOME TESTS
AND I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GET THE RESULTS.
I CAN? FANTASTIC. OUR FAX NUMBER IS...
HIS SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?
WHY'RE YOU EVEN HERE, BROOKE? GO HOME AND WATCH CHARMED.
JOSH, I NEED TO WATCH THE PATHOLOGIST'S METHODOLOGY IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND
THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THIS COUNSELING, IF I TALK ABOUT IT IN THE DEBATES.
YEAH, RIGHT. I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE.
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO RUB YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS ALL UP IN MY FACE.
DESPITE WHAT HAS GONE ON, JOSH,
I DO FEEL FOR YOU.
- LOOK, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE... - YEAH.
YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE.
[JOSH] LILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I TURNED MYSELF INTO KRUPPS.
WHAT? COULD YOU GIVE US A SEC?
- WHAT HAPPENED? - WELL...
I SEARCHED AND SEARCHED FOR A WAY TO CLEAR YOU, AND I GUESS MYSELF,
BUT IT SOON BECAME APPARENT THAT THERE WAS NO MAGIC SOLUTION.
THE BEST I COULD DO WAS SWALLOW MY SWORD.
WE BOTH SCREWED UP, JOSH, BUT...
I THINK THAT IF WE FACE THE CONSEQUENCES TOGETHER,
MAYBE, AS A COUPLE, WE'LL BE STRONGER.
- DID YOU TURN HARRISON IN, TOO? - NO. I TOOK THE FIFTH.
OKAY, KIDS, GOOD EVENING. PLEASE STEP UP TO THE TABLE.
DOCTOR, THANK YOU. COME ON, STEPPING LIVELY, VERY GOOD.
NOW, I HOPE THAT WATCHING DR. WING WORK TODAY
WILL HELP PREVENT SOME OTHER TEEN FROM WATCHING HIM WORK ON YOU TOMORROW.
DR. WING, PLEASE PROCEED.
- [TEEN] OH, DUDE. - [SOUNDS OF DISGUST]
I'LL PLASTER UPSTAIRS, YOU TAKE DOWNSTAIRS.
OKAY.
[AKERS] YOU'LL NEVER WIN.
EVER... EVER... EVER!
YOU KNOW, HELL...
BEFORE I MERCILESSLY SMASH YOUR FACE,
THERE'S A FEW THINGS I'D LIKE TO GET OFF MY CHEST.
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK ON CARMEN?
WASN'T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU PICKED ON ME RELENTLESSLY?
WASN'T IT ENOUGH YOU... HAD EVERYTHING?
DID YOU HAVE TO CONSTANTLY REMIND ME
I HAD NOTHING?
[WHISPERS] I ALREADY KNEW THAT.
YOU MADE ONE FATAL MISTAKE, HELL.
YOU'VE MISJUDGED CARMEN.
SHE'S RESILIENT TO TORTURE. SHE DOESN'T GIVE UP.
NOT LIKE ME.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL HER THAT.
SORRY. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HEAR THAT.
I'M THE ONE WHO'S SORRY, MISS GLASS.
I'M SO SORRY THAT SHE MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY
AND I'M SORRY IF MY RUNNING FOR QUEEN HAS MADE THINGS WORSE FOR YOU.
I'M GONNA PULL OUT OF THE RACE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE YOU ANY MORE PAIN.
YOU ARE NOT DROPPING OUT, FERRARA.
YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. YOU CAN'T GIVE UP.
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE SO CLOSE TO THE CROWN.
WAIT. YOU RAN FOR QUEEN?
NOT ONLY DID I RUN...
I WON, OR SO I THOUGHT.
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER IN A LONG LINE OF CRUEL JOKES
IT WAS THE MOST HUMILIATING,
PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY YOUNG LIFE.
HELLACIOUS RIGGED IT. SHE ACTUALLY WON THE CROWN.
THAT STORY SOUNDS ODDLY FAMILIAR.
YEAH, I KNOW.
STEPHEN KING FOUND OUT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
A YEAR LATER CAME HIS HORROR MASTERPIECE, BOBBI.
I FOUND OUT, ASKED FOR TEN CENTS ON THE DOLLAR.
HE FREAKED AND CHANGED IT TO CARRIE.
OH, MISS GLASS...
BOTH OF US NEARLY HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.
WE'RE BOTH FIGHTING THE WRONG BATTLES.
YOUR FIGHT IS NOT WITH SOME PICTURE THAT YOU WANT TO SMASH UP.
IT'S WITH HELLACIOUS.
AND MINE IS NOT WITH NICOLE AND MARY CHERRY.
[SIGHS]
- HEY. - HEY.
- BIG DATE? - UH-HUH. YEP.
'MEMBER THOSE. WHAT'RE YA COOKING?
CHICKEN À LA LAST MINUTE.
- DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED? - YEAH, YEAH.
A PHONE FOR CALLING 911, A BARF BAG, YEP, I'M PRETTY MUCH SET.
OBVIOUSLY, YOUR COOKING CAN'T BE THIS BAD.
IT'S NOT. IT'S JUST, I'M WORRIED ABOUT SOMEBODY.
- WHO? - HARRISON. HE...
YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THIS.
ACTUALLY, SAM, I UNDERSTAND, AFTER HIS DEBATE MELTDOWN TODAY.
- I'D BE CONCERNED, TOO. - WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
AT THE RUN-THROUGH HE STARTED SCREAMING AT THIS INNOCENT LIGHTING GUY
LIKE A COKED-UP ANDY KAUFMAN.
GREAT, MORE FODDER FOR YOUR CAMPAIGN?
YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
AND PAINTING HARRISON AS A DRUGGIE IS? ANYONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT A BOY BAND
WITH A ROTATING MEMBERSHIP IS BORDERLINE OBSESSED.
IF HE'S NOT ON DRUGS, THEN WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I AM GOING TO FIND OUT.
THE ONLY THING I'M CERTAIN OF IS THAT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT HIM.
YOU DON'T SOUND VERY CERTAIN, SAM.
HAVE YOU ASKED HIM?
- NO. - YOU SHOULD.
LOOK, IF HE HAS A PROBLEM, SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONFRONT HIM.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
- HELLO. - IT'S ME.
SAMMY, FINALLY CALLING TO APOLOGIZE.
- FOR WHAT? - OH, I DON'T KNOW.
BETRAYING MY TRUST, [COUGHS]
TELLING LILY ABOUT THE VICOBURIN.
[SAM] I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT
WHEN SHE TOLD ME ABOUT YOU
AND JOSH AND THE URINE SWITCH,
- I DIDN'T WANT HER TO THINK... - THINK WHAT?
THAT YOU WERE ON DRUGS.
SAMMY, I DON'T NEED THIS.
OKAY? I'VE GOT WORK TO DO. HAVE YOU SEEN THE LATEST POLLS?
- I'VE PULLED 10% AHEAD OF BROOKE. - [GROANS] OH.
BE STRAIGHT WITH ME. ARE YOU ON DRUGS?
NO.
- ARE YOU SICK? - NO.
WHY'D YOU BREAK INTO MY LOCKER? MUST'VE BEEN A BAD HEADACHE
IF YOU COULDN'T WAIT TILL AFTER SCHOOL TO BUY SOME ASPIRIN.
- IS THIS WITHDRAWAL? - [COUGHS] SAM...
I GOTTA GO, I NEED TO PREPARE.
[DEEP SIGH]
IS THIS A RESTAURANTS THAT KEEPS OUT MASSES BY LOOKING LIKE A FREE CLINIC?
NO. IT'S A FREE CLINIC. YOU'D RATHER MUNCH ON NEEDLES THAN EAT MY MESS.
INSIDE ARE HARRISON'S TEST RESULTS. UNLESS WE GET THEM,
THEY'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.
SAM, THIS IS A FUN DATE AND ALL, BUT BREAKING AND ENTERING'S A FELONY.
ACTUALLY, IT'S A MISDEMEANOR, I LOOKED IT UP.
JUST LIKE I LOOKED UP ALARM RESPONSE TIMES.
WE'LL HAVE ABOUT THREE AND A HALF MINUTES.
I KNOW YOU'RE WORRIED, BUT ISN'T THIS EXTREME?
HE HAS A PROBLEM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT HE DEFINITELY HAS ONE.
WELL, WILL KNOWING EASE YOUR MIND?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S THE PLAN?
WE GO THROUGH THAT DOOR. THE FILE CABINET IS AGAINST THE WALL.
WE OPEN IT, FIND THE FILE AND SCRAM.
AND JUST HOW DO YOU INTEND TO GET IN?
I'VE SEEN MACGYVER, HERE.
[SHARP INHALATION, SIGH]
HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG?
MOM, HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW SOMETHING SO BAD
IT WAS ALL YOU COULD THINK ABOUT AND THEN, AS SOON AS YOU KNEW IT,
YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE INFORMATION?
SAM, WHAT HAPPENED?
HARRISON, HE'S SICK.
[SIGHS] I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT WHAT HE HAD
SO I WENT ON THE WEB AND LOOKED IT UP.
[GROANS] OH.
OH, I AM SO SORRY.
HONEY, I'M IN SHOCK. HOW IS HE DOING?
I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T REALLY SPOKEN TO HIM SINCE I FOUND OUT.
MOM, THIS IS JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO DAD.
I CAN'T GO THROUGH LOSING ANOTHER PERSON THAT I LOVE.
I CAN'T DO IT.
WHAT HARRISON HAS, SOMETIMES THAT'S BEATABLE.
AND SOMETIMES IT'S NOT.
MOM, WHEN DID DAD FIND OUT THAT...
THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO GET BETTER?
ALMOST AS SOON AS HE WAS DIAGNOSED.
WHO TOLD HIM?
I DID.
HOW?
WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING THIS TERRIBLE TO FACE,
IT'S BEST TO JUST...
COME OUT AND DEAL WITH IT HEAD ON.
[GROANING] OH, GOD, OH, GOD. HIS POOR MOTHER.
I ONLY HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
THAT YOU NEVER HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT...
WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
I'M MOVING BACK IN.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MOM?
I JUST TOLD YOU SOMETHING. I TOLD YOU I WAS MOVING BACK IN.
PLEASE LOOK AT ME.
LOOK.
I... I CAN'T.
WHAT IS IT THAT'S SO AWFUL?
IT'S... ME.
YOU?
I LOOK AT YOU AND I SEE ME...
I SEE THE PERSON THAT I DIDN'T BECOME.
YOUR FUTURE IS JUST BEGINNING
AND MINE IS... OVER.
IT'S DONE. MY HUSBAND RUNS OFF WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND,
MY... MY SON THINKS I RAN HIM OFF
AND MY DAUGHTER LOOKS AT ME AS SOMETHING
TO BE ASHAMED OF... RIGHTFULLY SO.
SO RIGHT NOW, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ME.
BUT I DO.
CARMEN...
WHY DID YOU COME BACK?
'CAUSE... 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU, MOM.
AND BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU NEED...
HELP WITH YOUR DRINKING.
[SOBS] I'M... I'M JUST...
SO SAD.
THAT'S WHY I DRINK.
SO I CAN JUST...
...FEEL...
...NOTHING.
IT'LL BE OKAY.
WE'LL GET THROUGH IT TOGETHER.
2006, 2007, 2008 VOTES FOR CARMEN.
NOW LET'S SEE, ONE NICOLE JULIAN/ MARY CHERRY TICKET.
AND ONE MARY CHERRY/ NICOLE JULIAN TICKET.
I AM THE MARQUEE NAME, MARY CHERRY.
OH, STOP SQUABBLING, GIRLS.
AND YOU CAN THANK HALSTON THAT I STOLE THIS BOX WHEN I DID.
OTHERWISE, CARMEN WOULD BE CROWNED TONIGHT AND NOT YOU TWO.
BUT, I HATE BOBBI SO MUCH,
I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.
THIS WALL IS SACRED. IT MUST BE PROTECTED.
IT IS A SHRINE TO...
ALL THAT IS UNHOLY AND EVIL.
[BOTH GASP]
WHAT IN THE NAME OF WATERGATE IS GOING ON IN HERE?
I'VE GOT YOU, HELL. YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
QUICK, HELLACIOUS. DO SOMETHING STYLISH.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
STYLE CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW, MISS CHERRY.
THANKS TO CLOGGED PIPES AND A DO-IT-YOURSELF PHILOSOPHY,
I HAVE OVERHEARD EVERYTHING.
AH! IT APPEARS YOU GIRLS HAVE LOST.
DIVISIVELY AND DECISIVELY.
RATHER THAN DISQUALIFY YOU, YOUR PUNISHMENT SHALL BE
TO ENDURE THE GREATER HUMILIATION... OF PUBLIC DEFEAT.
AND, NOW, MISS AKERS.
DUE TO A SERIES OF JAW DROPPINGLY INAPPROPRIATE ACTIONS,
I AM HEREBY REVOKING YOUR TRIPLE CROWN.
YOU CANNOT REWRITE HISTORY, KRUPPS.
OH, YES, BUT I CAN AND WILL CORRECT IT.
YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT WALL-WORTHY.
BOBBI, WOULD YOU CARE TO DO THE HONORS?
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, BOBBI.
WE ARE FAR FROM THROUGH.
- GOOD DAY, MS. AKERS. - YOU'RE RIGHT, HELLACIOUS.
AND BEFORE I GO, I HAVE A FINAL THOUGHT FOR YOU.
- OH! - [THUD]
[BONES CRACKING]
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
I'M SORRY, BUT...
- ...IT'S TRUE. - [HARRISON SIGHS]
SO WHAT?
DOCTORS MAKE MISTAKES.
- I'LL TAKE THE TEST AGAIN. - THE RESULTS WILL BE THE SAME.
DON'T YOU THINK I WISH IT WEREN'T TRUE?
WHEN YOU STARTED HAVING HEADACHES,
IT'S THE SAME THING THAT STARTED WITH MY DAD.
NO. I AM NOT LIKE YOUR DAD.
I AM 17 YEARS OLD.
PLEASE, JUST CALL YOUR MOM AND GET HER TO COME BACK.
YOU HAVE TO CHECK YOURSELF INTO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY.
WHAT IS ALL THIS CRAP ANYWAY?
WHITE BLOOD CELLS. HIGH. LOW COUNT.
LOOK AT ME, SAM. I NEVER FELT BETTER.
NOW, DO I LOOK SICK TO YOU? I DON'T THINK SO.
YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.
NOW, EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A DEBATE TONIGHT THAT I NEED TO GO PRACTICE FOR.
HARRISON, YOU CAN'T JUST PRETEND LIKE THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
AS SCARY AS THIS IS, YOU HAVE TO FACE IT.
HEY, ROOMIE.
GET A BETTER DEAL AT THE EMBASSY SUITES?
ACTUALLY, I'M... I'M MOVING BACK HOME.
SO, EXCITED FOR HOMECOMING?
[SARCASTIC] YEAH. I'M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD.
BUT YOU'LL MISS THE CROWNING.
I THINK THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TONIGHT WITH MY MOM.
BESIDES, WHAT'S THE POINT? I'M SURE NICOLE AND MARY CHERRY
ARE ALREADY FIGHTING OVER WHO GETS TO WEAR THE CROWN FIRST.
I DON'T THINK SO. THE ONLY THING NICOLE AND MARY CHERRY
WILL BE WEARING TONIGHT ARE TWIN LOOKS OF ENVY.
KRUPPS CAUGHT THEM AND HELLACIOUS STUFFING THE BALLOT BOX.
IT SEEMS THE VOTE WAS A LANDSLIDE IN YOUR FAVOR.
I BORROWED THIS FOR A COUPLE HOURS.
TO POLISH IT UP.
IT'S GOTTA GLEAM IF IT'S GONNA SIT ATOP MY CANDIDATE'S NOGGIN.
YOU DID IT, CARMEN.
[SNIFFLES]
WE DID IT, MISS GLASS.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
WELL, WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE CHEMISTRY.
[KRUPPS] WELCOME, STUDENTS, TO THE KENNEDY HIGH PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.
BROOKE, YOU HAVE 90 SECONDS FOR YOUR OPENING.
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, PRINCIPAL KRUPPS.
YOU'RE ELECTING A PRESIDENT TO SERVE YOUR INTERESTS.
THE ONLY QUESTION IS, WHO WILL BEST DO SO?
SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO HELP AND PROTECT YOU,
OR SOMEONE WHO PRETENDS
TO BE A RIGHTEOUS ADVOCATE OF YOUR RIGHTS?
NOW, HARRISON, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU'VE TRIED TO SUBVERT
THE DRUG TESTING PROCESS?
AND, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU'VE BEEN HIDING BEHIND SELF-SERVING RHETORIC?
AND FINALLY, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU HAVE A VICOBURIN HABIT THAT IS SO BAD,
THAT JUST ONE DAY WITHOUT IT HAS CAUSED INTOLERABLE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS?
I SAY, VOLUNTARILY SUBMIT TO A DRUG TEST AND PROVE THAT YOU'RE CLEAN.
I'M WILLING TO DO IT.
ARE YOU?
AND IF NOT, WELL, THEN I ASK ALL OF YOU,
TO THINK LONG AND HARD
ABOUT WHAT HARRISON IS REALLY TRYING TO PROTECT.
AND ASK WHY.
THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]
MR. JOHN, YOU HAVE 90 SECONDS.
WELL, IT APPEARS I HAVE A LOT TO ANSWER FOR.
BROOKE'S RIGHT.
I DID SUBVERT THE TESTING PROCESS
BY GIVING MY URINE TO JOSH FORD.
IT WAS A MISTAKE,
BUT THE INTENTION TO HELP A FRIEND
WAS, I BELIEVE, HONORABLE.
HOWEVER, PRINCIPAL KRUPPS, I WILL GLADLY TAKE MY SUSPENSION
AND WHATEVER OTHER PUNISHMENT YOU DEEM NECESSARY.
I'M ALSO FORCED TO ADMIT THAT BROOKE'S OTHER ACCUSATIONS ARE ALSO TRUE.
I HAVE BEEN TAKING PAINKILLERS
FOR PAIN.
AND THE REASON IS...
I HAVE LEUKEMIA.
THEREFORE, I AM WITHDRAWING FROM THE RACE.
I HAVE TO FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES.
BECAUSE UNTIL I DO, I'M IN NO WAY READY TO FIGHT YOURS.
AND BROOKE, AS DE FACTO WINNER,
THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN SAY TO YOU, IS THAT I HOPE YOU LEARN A LESSON
THAT A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE JUST TAUGHT ME.
THAT WHEN DARKNESS APPROACHES, YOU HAVE TO MUSTER YOUR COURAGE...
...AND HARNESS YOUR STRENGTH...
...AND STARE IT STRAIGHT IN THE EYE.
CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN LIVE WITH YOURSELF.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
MY BEST FRIEND, SAM, IS GONNA TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL.
[GIRL WHISPERS] SO SAD.
♪ TO BEND AND NOT TO BREAK
♪ CHIN UP, TRY NOT TO QUAKE
♪ I'M GRINNING ON THE OUTSIDE
♪ BUT I'M A WRECK INTERNALLY
♪ OOH LA LA LA LA
♪ OOH LA LA LA LA ♪