♪ I'M EVERY WOMAN
♪ IT'S ALL IN ME
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT DONE, BABY
♪ I'LL DO IT NATURALLY
♪ I'M EVERY...
♪ WOMAN, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
SHE'S GOT SPUNK.
SHE'S GOT TEEN TART WRITTEN ALL OVER HER.
LIBERTY, ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AS A TEEN TART,
YOU'RE IN, GIRLFRIEND!
OH, MY GOD! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
YEAH!
- [LIBERTY] OH! - NEXT UP: MARY CHERRY!
HI, Y'ALL.
[SYSTEM HUMS]
CAN I JUST TELL YOU
THAT I LOVE TEEN TARTZ
AND THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE A TEEN TART.
- ANYTHING. - MARY CHERRY,
BEFORE WE BEGIN,
LET ME TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT OUR CONTEST.
WE ARE NOT PUTTING TOGETHER A MUSICAL GROUP.
NOR ARE WE TRYING FOR THE DESTINY'S CHILD THING.
NOT AT ALL. IF I MAY?
WE ARE SIMPLY LOOKING FOR OUR NATION'S MOST TALENTED BOYS AND GIRLS.
WE WILL HAVE WINNERS IN CATEGORIES THAT WE CALL
"WHORISH MODELS" AND "LOOSE AND EASY BATON TWIRLERS."
BUT FIRST COMES THE VOCAL COMPETITION.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SING FOR US TODAY, MARY CHERRY?
"ROCK ME AMADEUS" BY FALCO.
- [SYNTHESIZER MUSIC] - ♪ OOH, ROCK ME, AMADEUS
- [MUSIC CONTINUES] - [MARY CHERRY LIP SYNCHS]
♪ WUN-WUN-WUNDERBAR, WUNDERBAR
♪ OOH, OOOH-OOH, OOH, OOH
[FALCO'S VOICE] 1756, SALZBURG, JANUARY 27,
WOLFGANG AMADEUS IS BORN.
1761: AT THE AGE OF FIVE, AMADEUS BEGINS COMPOSING.
1782: WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART MARRIES CONSTANCE WEBER.
1791: MOZART COMPOSES THE MAGIC FLUTE.
ON DECEMBER 5 OF THAT SAME YEAR, MOZART DIES.
1985: AUSTRIAN ROCK SINGER FALCO RECORDS
♪ ROCK ME AMADEUS
♪ AMADEUS, AMADEUS, AMADEUS...
[MUSIC FADES]
COULD YOU STAND ON THAT STAR SO WE CAN SPEAK PRIVATELY?
JUST RIGHT THERE?
SHE'S LIKE SOME CRAZY HOMELESS PERSON THAT WANDERED IN.
SHOULD WE CALL SECURITY?
LOONY OR NOT, SHE'S NOT TEEN TARTZ MATERIAL.
MARY CHERRY, ABOUT YOUR FUTURE WITH TEEN TARTZ...
OH, MY GOD! I MADE IT!
I'M GONNA BE A STAR! THANK YOU ALL!
UM, THAT'S NOT QUITE TRUE.
UM, WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU JUST DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES...
TO BE A TEEN TART.
OH.
OKAY. WELL, THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
FINE. I KNOW YOU JUDGES ARE ALL JUST JEALOUS OF MY TIGHT TEEN ASS!
JUST KNOW ONE THING, TEEN TARTZ JUDGES.
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, I'M GONNA MAKE IT.
I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
♪ THINK IT OVER ONCE OR TWICE
♪ WHAT LASTS THE LONGEST IN THIS LIFE
♪ CHARACTER OR ROCK-HARD THIGHS
♪ IN THE END DO YOU BELIEVE
♪ THAT BEAUTY LIES IN WHAT YOU SEE
♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU DO, THEN, BABY
♪ YOU'VE BEEN DECEIVED
♪ WELL, ME AND B
♪ WE HATE SUPERMODELS
♪ IT'S JUST THAT I'M TIRED OF BEING COMPARED ♪
[YAWNING]
OKAY, ANALOGIES.
GOOD FOR OVER 400 POINTS ON THE VERBAL.
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THOSE. ANALOGIES?
AND THE THING IS, THEY'RE STUPID.
- THEY DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE. - YES, THEY DO, JOSH.
REMEMBER?
♪ ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER
♪ ONE OF THESE THINGS JUST DOESN'T BELONG ♪
NO?
OKAY.
MATH. LET'S MOVE ON TO MATH PROBLEMS.
ARE YOU SURE YOU GET THE ANALOGIES CONCEPT?
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
YOUR WHOLE FUTURE COULD DEPEND ON HOW WELL YOU DO ON THE S.A.T.
IT'LL AFFECT WHAT SCHOOL YOU GET INTO
AND MAYBE EVEN WHAT COMPANY HIRES YOU AFTER YOU GRADUATE.
DON'T BRUSH IT OFF IF YOU DON'T GET IT.
NO, I GOT IT. LET'S DO THE NUMBERS.
OKAY, HERE YOU GO.
"TWO TRAINS FROM BOSTON AND NEW YORK ARE TRAVELING TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
"THE BOSTON TRAIN IS GOING 75 MILES PER HOUR
"FOR THE FIRST 30 MINUTES,
"ACCELERATING TO 80 IN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES.
"THE NEW YORK TRAIN IS GOING 82 MILES PER HOUR..."
- [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING] - [BROOKE'S VOICE FADING]
[TRAIN WHISTLES GROWING LOUDER]
[TRAINS CRASHING]
OH, HEY, MARY CHERRY. MUCH REGRETS.
RUMOR HAS IT THAT YOU WERE REJECTED BY TEEN TARTZ,
MUCH THE WAY THAT I,
NEWLY CROWNED PRESIDENT AND RULER OF "BRING IT,"
HAVE REJECTED YOU ON EVERY LEVEL.
YES, YES, IT'S TRUE, MADAME PRESIDENT.
UNLIKE YOU, I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SOCIAL HEAP.
BUT I HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER.
A MEANS BY WHICH TO CLAW MY WAY BACK AND PROVE MY VALUE.
YOUR MONEY?
NO. NO, I'M RESURRECTING KENNEDY HIGH'S INTEREST
IN THE WORLD OF ACADEMIC DECATHLONS.
YOU'RE PUTTING TOGETHER A TEAM FOR THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE?
BROADCAST EVERY SATURDAY AFTERNOON ON CABLE ACCESS.
I'LL BE SEEN BY "DOZE-ENS."
DON'T YOU HAVE TO BE SMART TO BE ON THE BIG HEAD?
WHO NEEDS SMARTS WHEN YOU'RE GETTING EXPOSURE?
WANNA JOIN UP? YEAH.
SPACE IS LIMITED AND AT MY INTELLECTUAL DISCRETION.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU DID JOIN UP, NIC,
IT COULD BE A WAY FOR YOU AND I TO BURY THE HATCHET AND END OUR BLOOD GRUDGE.
WE COULD BE BEST FRIENDS AGAIN.
[MIMICS LAUGH]
I THINK I'LL PASS.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. JUST FORGET ABOUT ME. OKAY?
IF YOU DID THE CHALLENGE, IT COULD BE A WAY FOR YOU
TO COMMUNICATE TO THE WORLD YOUR VALUE--
YOUR RUTHLESS EXCESSES AND MANIPULATIVE SMARTS.
IT'D BE BETTER THAN ANY CORONATION.
YOU'D BE IN THE SHADOWS NO MORE, LADY.
- WE'LL NEED A FACULTY SPONSOR. - GREAT!
I'M SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE CALLED TO TELL YOU I WAS BLOWING OFF THE S.A.T. STUDY GROUP.
IT'S JUST... I'VE GOT A GOOD REASON.
I'VE CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT THE S.A.T.s. I'M GONNA TAKE THEM NEXT FALL.
I THINK I'D RATHER DEVOTE MY TIME THAT I WOULD HAVE DEVOTED TO STUDYING
TO TAKING SALSA LESSONS.
CARMEN!
YOUR MIND AND YOUR ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT ARE A LITTLE MORE IMPORTANT
THAN... SHAKING YOUR BON-BON.
PLEASE DON'T JUDGE, LIL.
I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE BIT UNORTHODOX,
BUT I REALLY THINK THAT I COULD BETTER COMMUNICATE MY VALUE TO THE WORLD
THROUGH DANCING THAN BY PULLING SOME AVERAGE SCORE ON SOME STUPID TEST.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES. CAN I INTERRUPT?
YEAH, I WAS JUST LEAVING.
SEE YOU LATER, LIL.
LILY, I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH THIS QUESTION.
CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THE ANSWER?
OH, JOSH, I CAN'T HELP YOU RIGHT NOW.
WHAT IF I GIVE YOU A BABY HICKY IN A SECRET PLACE?
JOSH, I CANNOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
THEN LET'S STUDY TOGETHER.
I THINK THAT I SHOULD STUDY BY MYSELF.
I'VE BEEN SPENDING SO MUCH TIME HELPING YOU WITH YOUR S.A.T. PREP
THAT I'M IGNORING MINE, AND I HAVE TO DO WELL ON THOSE TESTS TO GET MY SCHOLARSHIP.
SO, YOU DON'T WANT TO STUDY WITH ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M DUMB?
- NO. THAT'S NOT IT. I JUST THINK THAT... - I'M DUMB.
NO, DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF, 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU'RE DENSE.
I DIDN'T SAY DENSE. I SAID DUMB.
OKAY. WE'LL PICK THIS UP AT A LATER TIME.
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE! DUE TO MY OVERWHELMING SENSE OF SCHOOL SPIRIT
AND MY SUDDEN ADMIRATION FOR THE INTELLECTUAL CAPABILITY OF MARY CHERRY,
I HAVE AGREED TO SPONSOR KENNEDY HIGH'S ENTRY
INTO THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE.
THERE ARE ONLY FIVE PLACES ON THE TEAM.
THE POSITION OF CAPTAIN AND CO-CAPTAIN
HAVE BEEN FILLED.
LEADING OUR TEAM WILL BE THE LOVELY AND TALENTED MARY CHERRY.
HOW DID SHE GET TO BE CAPTAIN?
ISN'T SHE BORDERLINE RETARDED?
THE OTHER CO-CAPTAIN IS OUR VERY OWN ANSWER TO LUCREZIA BORGIA,
MISS NICOLE JULIAN.
THAT LEAVES ONLY THREE CHANCES OF GLORY TO THE REST OF YOU.
NOW, TO SUCCEED,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FOCUS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO STUDY LIKE YOU NEVER DO FOR MY CLASS.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU'LL BE HUMILIATED ON TELEVISION,
ALIENATED BY YOUR FRIENDS,
AND EMBARRASSED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES.
SO, WHO'S IN, Y'ALL?
[GLASS CLEARS HER THROAT] OKAY. MOVING ON. ROLL CALL!
- MARY CHERRY! - PRESIDENT.
- CHERRY CHERRY. - WORD!
MAMA CHERRY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
IT'S NATIONAL WEIGH YOUR DAUGHTER DAY. HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?
AND I DROPPED BY TO SEE THAT SCALE MOAN IN AGONY.
SERIOUSLY, SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEWEST CLASSMATE.
MISS CHERRY, WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS WHY A WOMAN WHO HAS CREATED A MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR EMPIRE
WOULD WANT TO COME BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL.
THEY SAY YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN. I KEPT PUTTING IT OFF.
THE NUMBERS I PULLED ON MY S.A.T.s HAVE COME BACK TO HAUNT ME.
KIDS! LOOK TO ME,
THE RICHEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ALIVE,
AS AN ACADEMIC CAUTIONARY TALE.
Y'ALL MAY NOT KNOW THIS,
BUT SCORING LESS THAN 50 POINTS ON THAT TEST CAN RUIN YOU SOCIALLY.
YOU GET 200 POINTS FOR SPELLING YOUR NAME RIGHT.
I PANICKED!
MAMA, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU'VE KNOWN THE FEELING OF SHAME?
YES, DAUGHTER OF MINE, TWICE IN MY LIFETIME.
THE FIRST WAS WHEN YOU WERE BORN AND I WENT TO DIAPER YOU,
ONLY TO BE TOLD BY A NURSE THAT I WAS PUTTING TOO MUCH POWDER ON YOUR FACE.
THE SECOND TIME OCCURRED JUST A FEW DAYS AGO
AS I WAS APPLYING FOR A COUNTRY CLUB MEMBERSHIP.
[MUTTERING]
THE SHOES, THE SHOES. THE SHOES, THE SHOES.
MISS CHERRY, IT SEEMS SOMEBODY ONLY GOT A TOTAL SCORE OF...
50 ON THEIR S.A.T.s.
I SCORED HIGHER ON MY PROSTATE EXAM.
SO DID I, AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PROSTATE.
I'M SORRY. YOU'RE JUST NOT COUNTRY CLUB MATERIAL.
THAT REJECTION STUNG LIKE A BEE.
IN A WEEK, I'M RETAKING THAT DAMN TEST,
AND AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I'M BREAKING 100.
I PLAN ON PROVING THAT THERE'S NOTHING A PERSON CAN'T ACCOMPLISH
WITH PERSEVERANCE AND LOTS OF CASH.
SO, GET TEACHING, BOBBI GLASS.
- WHAT'S UP, DUDE? - HEY.
CRAMMING FOR THE S.A.T.s?
YEAH. WHY AREN'T YOU?
HONESTLY, I AM WHACKED WITH TOO MUCH ANXIETY.
THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT THE S.A.T.s IS FREAKING ME OUT,
LISTENING TO CHERRY CHERRY'S STORY OF HOW HER SCORE AFFECTED HER WHOLE LIFE.
IF I DON'T START DOING BETTER, LILY MIGHT DROP ME.
WHAT'S YOUR FEAR? LILY'S GONNA MOVE ON IF YOU GET A LOW S.A.T. SCORE?
I REALLY THINK SHE MIGHT, HARRISON.
MAYBE IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT I'M HOT.
OKAY. UH, LET'S BREAK IT DOWN.
WHAT SECTION OF THE S.A.T.s YOU HAVING TROUBLE WITH?
IT'S THE ANSWERS, MAN.
I SEE.
UH, OKAY.
MAYBE THERE'S A WAY THAT YOU CAN STUDY FOR THE S.A.T.s
AND IMPRESS LILY WITH YOUR INTELLIGENCE AT THE SAME TIME.
HOW?
HOW ABOUT TAKING THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE?
[YAWNS]
OH, BROOKE.
HOW MUCH LONGER CAN THIS GO ON?
SEEING JAMIE EVERY NIGHT, WAKING UP EVERY MORNING TO STUDY. THANK YOU.
DRAGGING YOURSELF THROUGH SCHOOL,
"BRING IT" PRACTICE IN THE AFTERNOON.
- I KNOW, SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE. - YES.
BUT I THINK I MAY HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION.
MISS GLASS HAS ARRANGED THAT IF YOU JOIN THE CHALLENGE,
YOU GET OUT OF CLASS ALL WEEK TO STUDY.
AND STUDYING FOR THE CHALLENGE IS LIKE STUDYING FOR THE S.A.T.
NET RESULT: WE GET TO SLEEP IN.
OOH, WHERE'S MARY CHERRY?
AH!
THANKS FOR TUTORING MY MIND, BOBBI GLASS.
200 BUCKS A FLASH CARD? HOW COULD I RESIST?
X PLUS 3 EQUALS 6.
WHAT IS X?
- TWO BILLION DOLLARS. - NO.
X EQUALS 3. MISS CHERRY, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME
WHY A WOMAN WHO RUNS A WORLDWIDE CONGLOMERATE DOESN'T KNOW SIMPLE ADDITION?
I KNOW IT, SLAVE DRIVER.
THE PROBLEM IS, WELL,
THAT COUNTRY CLUB TURN-DOWN HAS SHATTERED MY USUAL MONOLITHIC CONFIDENCE.
WHEN MY CONFIDENCE IS LOW, AS ALL MY EX-HUSBANDS WILL TELL YOU, I CHOKE.
DAMN, THIS IS A PICKLE, AIN'T IT?
THE MOST CONFIDENT AND SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD
RENDERED AN EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL CRIPPLE
BY WORTHLESS S.A.T. TRIVIA THAT MEANS DIDDLE!
IF ALL YOU WANT IS TO PROVE YOU'RE SMART TO THOSE COUNTRY CLUB JUDGERS,
FORGET ABOUT THE S.A.T.s, MISS CHERRY.
- SHOW OFF ON TV. - [GASPS] GOOD IDEA.
I HOPE TEMPTATION ISLAND 2 IS NOT SHOOTING NEXT WEEK.
THAT CONFLICTS WITH MY ANNUAL PAP SMEAR.
I'M TALKING ABOUT JOINING OUR BIG HEAD CHALLENGE.
THOSE LIZ TAYLOR EYES OF YOURS SURE WOULD LOOK GOOD UNDER THE LIGHTS.
WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE TO TAKE THIS CHALLENGE?
YOU KNOW HER VERY WELL.
[SHOUTING]
[SCREAMING]
[BARKING]
OOH, THERE YOU ARE, MY LITTLE TREASURE!
OKAY, LOOK. I WANT TO SIGN UP FOR THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE.
WAIT! ME, TOO!
I'M HER MOTHER.
I'M HER... WELL, I SORT OF KNOW HER.
- VERY WELL! - GOOD!
HMM. WELL. THERE'S ONLY ONE SLOT LEFT.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GONNA BE DOING SOME SERIOUS ASS-KISSIN'! HA!
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
ONE, TWO... AY, NO. YOU ARE TERRIBLE.
YOU ARE THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT THE STEPS, YOU CANNOT FEEL THEM.
I WATCH YOU DANCE, AND I RELIVE MY BIRTH TRAUMA.
PLEASE, LET ME GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK.
NO, I DON'T WANT MY MONEY BACK.
I WANT TO LEARN TO DANCE.
AY.
ALL RIGHT.
WE SAY A BIG PRAYER, AND WE TRY ANOTHER WAY.
MAYBE YOU WILL DO GOOD WITH A PARTNER. PABLO.
I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH MY NEPHEW.
HE DOESN'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH, BUT HE HAS THE MUSIC IN HIS BLOOD.
OKAY?
[SALSA MUSIC]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
ALL RIGHT!
HE SAID HE WILL TRY.
BUENO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MARY'S FORCING ME INTO A RUNOFF WITH HER MOTHER.
YOU HEARD CHERRY CHERRY. SHE ONLY GOT A 50 ON HER S.A.T.s.
YOU GOT AN EVEN CHANCE OF BEATING HER.
IF I DON'T, LILY'S GONNA THINK I'M DUMBER THAN A BOX OF HAIR.
DO YOU THINK THEY'RE GONNA ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT ASTROLOGY?
THAT'S A GEOMETRIC DIAGRAM, JOSH.
THAT'S FOR STUDYING MATH.
FROM LAST YEAR? REMEMBER?
UM, FOUR TRIANGLES, TANGENT ON A SINGLE POINT,
FORMS A FOUR-SIDED PARALLELOGRAM?
OH, OKAY, ROCK ON. I KNEW THAT.
YEAH.
OKAY.
UGH!
UM, OKAY, MATH ISN'T WORKING.
LET'S MOVE ON TO VERBAL.
- ALL RIGHT? - HARRISON, YOU'RE SMART.
WHY AREN'T YOU INTO THIS BIG HEAD THING?
I DON'T THINK SAM AND I SHOULD BE ON THE SAME TEAM NOW.
RIGHT. SORRY. I FORGOT.
NO, IT'S COOL.
AH...
TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL, UH, I'LL READ THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE OUT LOUD.
THEN I CAN ASK YOU QUESTIONS SO WE CAN TEST YOUR COMPREHENSION LEVEL
AND HISTORY AT THE SAME TIME.
OKAY? YEAH, SURE. CRANK IT OUT, MAN.
OKAY.
"WHEN IN THE COURSE OF HUMAN EVENTS...
SE HACE NECESARIO PARA UN PUEBLO DISOLVAR..."
[CONTINUES IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKS SPANISH]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
BUT IT SOUNDS VERY SWEET.
OYE... [SPANISH]
DO YOU WANT ME TO HOLD YOU CLOSER?
[MUSIC ENDS]
BUENO.
OH.
¿OTRA VEZ?
AH!
OKAY, CARMEN.
YEAH, I DON'T...
OH, UH... VEN AQUÍ.
USTED, SÁBADO. HUH?
YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME ON SATURDAY?
UM...
TÚ Y YO BAILA...
ESTE SÁBADO.
YOU WANT TO HAVE DANCE CLASS ON SATURDAY.
SÍ. SÍ.
OKAY, YEAH, I WOULD REALLY... I WOULD LIKE THAT.
UM, UH, NOON?
- OKAY, NOON. - NOON.
OKAY. SÍ.
WELL, UH, ADIOS,
MI AMIGOS.
BYE-BYE.
WE'RE NOT SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE.
WE TRIED MATH AND SCIENCE. YOU HAVE NO AREA OF EXPERTISE.
YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GONNA GET THAT LAST BIG HEAD SLOT.
YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP ON ME, ARE YOU?
GOD, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE I THOUGHT WOULD UNDERSTAND.
WHY ME?
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO HAVE THE GIRL YOU LOVE MOST IN THE WORLD BLOW YOU OFF.
JOSH FORD, ACCOUNT 202?
- YEAH, THANKS, MAN. - WHAT IS THIS?
I ORDERED TWO MR. CLUCK'S SPECIAL DINNERS WITH SUPER-SIZE SLAW.
YOU ORDERED CHICKEN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
YEAH, ESPECIALLY IF I'VE GOT TO KEEP UP MY STRENGTH FOR THE FACE-OFF,
NOW THAT I'M GONNA BE STUDYING "HAN SOLO."
AREN'T THESE LEGS A LITTLE SCRAWNY?
THEY COULDN'T BE SMALL ENOUGH FOR ME. I'M AFRAID OF CHICKENS.
FUNNY JOB FOR AN ALEKTOROPHOBIC.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
ALEKTOROPHOBIA. THE FEAR OF CHICKENS.
COULD BE JUST SOME SORT OF A PRIMITIVE REACTION.
DID YOU KNOW CHICKENS ARE THE CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVE TO THE TYRANNOSAURUS REX?
THEY BOOGIE FAST, TOO. I'M TALKING NINE MILES AN HOUR ON THE GROUND.
WOW, THAT'S REALLY AMAZING FACTS ABOUT... CHICKENS.
DID YOU KNOW THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER? WITH CLUCKING SOUNDS.
AND DON'T THINK THEY CAN'T FLY. THEY CAN.
YEP, CHICKENS ARE WICKED FIERCE CREATURES, MAN.
HEY, YOU FORGOT A SLAW!
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? A SAVANT OF THE HENHOUSE.
NO, I JUST KNOW A LOT ABOUT CHICKENS. SO LOOK.
THANKS FOR GIVING ME A SHOT.
YOU GONNA SPLIT THAT SLAW WITH ME OR EAT IT ALL YOURSELF?
NICE.
IF I COULD DO IT OVER,
I WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOUR APPENDIX BURST,
AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO RUN YOU OVER WHEN YOU STAINED MY CHINCHILLA COAT.
GO AHEAD, MAMA. MAKE ME BELIEVE IT!
AND I ADMIT I ALWAYS FORGET YOUR BIRTHDAY,
AND I HAVE YET TO EXHIBIT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST INTEREST IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE...
[YAWNING]
HAVE I MISSED ANYTHING?
- JUST A LITTLE EMOTIONAL BRIBERY. - AMATEURS.
AND I, I... I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU!
ESPECIALLY WHEN WE'RE OUT IN PUBLIC
AND STRANGERS ASK ME IF YOU'RE A MONGOLOID, AND I SEE YOU POUT.
- MAMA! - OH!
I'M SO TOUCHED.
OKAY.
COME ON. LIKE A HUG. LIKE A REAL HUG.
I'M ON THE TEAM NOW?
NO, YOU STILL HAVE TO FACE OFF WITH JOSHUA,
BUT I WISH YOU LUCK, MAMA.
[LAUGHS]
OW, OKAY, MAMA!
THAT'S ENOUGH.
I CAN'T BREATHE. I CAN'T BREATHE.
HELP.
[LILY CLEARS THROAT]
SORRY. I WAS JUST PRACTICING.
SO I SEE.
I GOT A LITTLE INSPIRED AT MY DANCE CLASS, 'CAUSE...
I MET A GUY, AND HE IS SO CUTE.
OKAY, SO HE'S FROM GUADALAJARA, AND HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH,
BUT HE IS SO SWEET AND A GOOD DANCER,
AND WE JUST HAVE THIS... CHEMISTRY.
WHAT'S WRONG?
CARM, I JUST... I THINK THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
SOME KIND OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE OR APPROVAL AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR FUTURE.
AND NOW YOU'RE FALLING FOR SOME GUY YOU JUST MET
AND WHO YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK TO?
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU HAVE AN INTELLECTUAL BASIS FOR A RELATIONSHIP.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE GONNA TALK TO ME ABOUT AN INTELLECTUAL BASIS FOR A RELATIONSHIP
WHEN YOU'RE DATING JOSH?
- WAIT A MINUTE. JOSH... - NO, YOU WAIT A MINUTE.
PABLO DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH 'CAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW IT, NOT 'CAUSE HE CAN'T LEARN IT.
AND IF YOU WANT TO ANALYZE SOMEONE
WHO'S LOOKING FOR APPROVAL BY BEING IN A BOGUS RELATIONSHIP WHERE SHE CAN'T COMMUNICATE,
WELL, THERE ARE THREE MIRRORS HERE IN FRONT OF YOU.
PICK ONE.
MARY CHERRY WILL CHOOSE A CATEGORY AND THEN ASK A RELATED QUESTION.
THE FIRST PERSON TO GET THE RIGHT ANSWER IS ON THE TEAM,
AND THE OTHER IS OFFICIALLY THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON EARTH.
READY?
DO YOU KNOW THE WORST PART ABOUT THIS FACE-OFF?
ONE OF THEM HAS TO WIN.
[MARY CHERRY] OKAY.
AND THE CATEGORY IS...
OH, DEAR GOD, PLEASE, LET IT BE CHICKEN.
PHILOSOPHICAL DILEMMAS.
QUESTION IS,
WHICH CAME FIRST, THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
BRAN FLAKES!
NO.
I AM SORRY, MAMA.
THAT IS "INCORRECTIONAL."
JOSHUA?
THE ANSWER IS THE CHICKEN.
CHICKENS EVOLVED BY THE INTER-BREEDING OF OTHER ANIMALS.
THE FIRST CHICKEN WAS HATCHED BY EGGS LAID BY ANOTHER SPECIES.
- FINAL ANSWER? - FINAL ANSWER.
WELL, JOSHUA, I AM STUNNED.
YOU'RE CORRECT.
- YOU'RE A BIG HEAD! - OH!
OKAY, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP.
YOU MAY HAVE BEAT ME,
AND MAYBE BRAN FLAKES AREN'T THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING.
BUT YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU EVER CROSSED CHERRY CHERRY.
AND AS FOR YOU. JUST WAIT TILL YOU GET HOME, MISSY.
BROOKE, HURRY UP.
I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. I'M PSYCHED YOU GUYS FINALLY WANT TO STUDY AGAIN.
WELL, ACTUALLY, WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
WE WANT YOU TO COME WATCH US PLAY BIG HEAD ON TV.
NO, LOOK, I SET ASIDE SATURDAY TO REALLY HIT THE BOOKS.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
COME ON. A GROUP OF US AGREED TO STUDY,
AND YOU HAVE ALL FLAKED ON ME,
EVEN JOSH, WHO'S JUST DISAPPEARED COMPLETELY.
HE HASN'T DISAPPEARED. HE'S BEEN STUDYING WITH US.
- HE MADE THE BIG HEAD TEAM. - HE WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.
I'M SUPPOSED TO GET YOU THERE WITHOUT YOU FINDING OUT. SO PRETEND YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
NO. NO, I'M NOT GOING.
BUT YOU HAVE TO, LILY.
- JOSH IS... - LOOK, I KNOW JOSH,
WHAT HE'S GOOD AT AND WHAT HE'S NOT, AND HE'S GONNA GET CREAMED.
I DON'T HAVE THE HEART TO WATCH IT.
JOSH IS DOING THIS FOR YOU.
THEN HE'S DOING IT FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
MY MOM DROPPED ME OFF, AND I'M NOT WALKING HOME,
SO I'M GONNA STAY HERE AND STUDY, IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU.
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE,
BUT, OKAY, IT'S YOUR CALL.
I KNOW JOSH, TOO, AND I CAN TELL YOU,
DON'T BOTHER STUDYING FOR HOW TO HURT HIS FEELINGS.
I THINK YOU HAVE THAT DOWN.
[SALSA MUSIC]
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
HI, HOOTS. OKAY. COME ON, EVERYBODY. GATHER 'ROUND.
COME ON. I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMENS,
EVEN MY WINNING PERSONALITY,
COUPLED WITH STAGGERING AMOUNTS OF CASH
WASN'T ENOUGH TO INFLUENCE THE JUDGES
INTO GIVING ME THE ANSWERS.
I DID, HOWEVER, GET TO CHOOSE OUR OPPONENTS.
AND THEY WOULD BE?
THE BUSH PRIVATE SCHOOL FOR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN.
YEAH. AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, THEY WANNA PLAY.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
[WOMAN ON P.A.] PLACES, PLEASE. STUDENTS FROM KENNEDY HIGH.
HEY, SAM, SO, WHERE'S LILY?
JOSH, LILY WAS SO EXCITED FOR YOU THAT SHE
WAS WORRIED SHE'D MAKE YOU NERVOUS IF SHE SHOWED UP.
SO SHE'S WATCHING AT HOME.
OKAY, THANKS.
HERE WE GO!
- HEY, WHAT'S WRONG? - LILY DIDN'T COME.
SHE PROBABLY THINKS I'M GONNA MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF AND DOESN'T WANT TO WATCH.
I AM POSITIVE THAT THAT'S NOT TRUE.
YEAH, SURE YOU ARE.
[ANNOUNCER] AND NOW, LET'S BRING IN THE STUDENTS
FROM THE BUSH PRIVATE SCHOOL FOR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN.
THEY DON'T LOOK RETARDED.
OH, YEAH, HI. THAT'S YOUR MOM.
YEAH, I KNOW, AND SHE'S BROUGHT MY ARCHENEMY JUDGES FROM TEEN TARTZ.
SHE BOUGHT THE TEAM.
- OH! - AND NOW, THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE,
THE SHOW THAT TESTS YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET, YOUR BIG HEAD!
PLEASE WELCOME OUR HOST, MR. ED McMAHON!
[SIGHS]
LET'S PLAY THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO SOMETHING SO TERRIBLE TO ME.
THEN YOU'RE STUPIDER THAN I THOUGHT! LET'S PLAY!
OH! A LITTLE SCHOOL RIVALRY GOING ON.
THAT'S GOOD. NOW, I ASK A QUESTION.
WHOEVER BUZZES IN FIRST WITH THE RIGHT ANSWER CHOOSES THE CATEGORY FOR ROUND ONE.
YOU READY? ALL RIGHT.
"NAME A BREAKFAST FOOD THAT ALSO SERVES AS..."
- [BUZZES] - THE ANSWER IS BRAN FLAKES.
CORRECT. NOW, CHERRY CHERRY, YOU GET TO CHOOSE EITHER OF THESE CATEGORIES.
THE COMPLETE SONNETS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE,
OR ABUSIVE MOTHERS.
ED, I'M GONNA TAKE ABUSIVE MOTHERS.
THIS GAME IS RIGGED!
OKAY, ABUSIVE MOTHERS.
FOR 100 POINTS, SHE WAS A FILM STAR WHO...
- JOAN CRAWFORD! - CORRECT!
NOW, FOR 200 POINTS,
THIS MOTHER CRUELLY SOLD HER DAUGHTER'S CHILDHOOD TOYS
- ON THE INTERNET... - JADE BARRYMORE.
CORRECT!
YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM, AREN'T YOU?
FOR 500 POINTS, IN GREEK MYTHOLOGY,
SHE WAS...
- OW! - MEDEA.
THAT'S CORRECT.
LAST QUESTION. IT'S FOR 1,000 POINTS.
"IN SOUTH CAROLINA, SHE..."
WHO IS CHERRY CHERRY!
[BUZZ]
I'M SORRY. THAT'S THE WRONG ANSWER.
WHO IS SUSAN SMITH?
YOU RAN THE CATEGORY.
BUSH LEADS KENNEDY 1,800 TO NOTHING.
- ROUND TWO. - ED...
HERE'S THE TOSS-UP QUESTION:
PAGE 54 OF THE NEW RESTORATION HARDWARE CATALOG IS...
- BATHROOM FIXTURES, ED. - CORRECT!
[SPEAKING SPANISH, INDISTINCT]
DE NADA.
CARMEN, OKAY. ¿LISTA?
UM, I'VE BEEN PRACTICING, SO I THINK I'M PROBABLY BETTER.
OH, OKAY. QUE BUENO.
I'M... I'M SORRY. I CAN'T DO THIS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
I...
COULD YOU JUST TELL HIM THANK YOU
AND THAT I LEARNED A LOT?
A WHOLE LOT.
AND I'M NOT GONNA COME BACK, SO YOU CAN KEEP MY MONEY.
AS WE BREAK FOR HALFTIME, BUSH LEADS KENNEDY 3,600 TO 0.
[MARY CHERRY] WE'RE DOOMED.
WHY DID I ASK JAMIE TO WATCH? WHY?
ORDINARILY, I'D ENCOURAGE ALL OF YOU TO TRY HARDER,
BUT UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, I SUGGEST THAT EACH OF YOU ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION:
- AM I WINNING OR AM I PRETTY? - THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
IT'S DEFEATIST, TOO.
YOU GUYS HAVE THREE ROUNDS LEFT.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL THINKING.
"SO WHAT IF SAM AND BROOKE PULL US EVEN.
WE GOT JOSH IN THE CLEANUP SLOT."
IF THIS WERE SURVIVOR, I'D BE HALFWAY BACK TO THE HOTEL.
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN YOURSELF.
NO, TAKE MY PLACE.
- WHAT ABOUT LILY? - LILY'S NOT HERE!
AND SHE'S RIGHT. NOT ONLY AM I GONNA MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF,
I'M GONNA RUIN THIS TEAM'S CHANCES TO WIN.
NO, WE BELIEVE IN YOU. GUYS, TELL HIM.
YOU WANT TO KEEP JOSH ON THIS TEAM, RIGHT?
UM...
THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN.
IT'S UP TO YOU.
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT DUMPING ON YOUR FRIEND
TO WIN SOME GAME IS GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
'CAUSE JOSH WORKED REALLY HARD TO GET HERE.
HE GAVE IT EVERYTHING HE HAD, AND IF THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH,
I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU, EITHER.
- BUT, JOE, I WANT TO WIN. - YEAH, ME, TOO.
YEAH, WRONG CHOICE OF PRONOUN.
THIS IS A TEAM. THE WORD YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS "WE."
AS FOR WINNING, I DON'T THINK JOSH
COULD DO ANY WORSE THAN THE TWO OF YOU.
STUDENTS, TAKE YOUR PLACES
FOR THE LAST HALF OF THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE.
HARRISON'S RIGHT. WE CAME AS A TEAM, AND WE'RE GONNA LEAVE AS ONE.
IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER. LILY ISN'T SEEING IT ANYWAY, SO...
THEN DON'T DO IT FOR LILY. DO IT FOR YOURSELF.
ALL RIGHT, SCHOLARS, READY FOR ROUND THREE?
LET'S PLAY THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE!
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE TOSS-UP QUESTION.
"I'M AN EXTREMELY WEALTHY WOMAN
"WITH A HORRIFYING WARDROBE
SCARY TEETH AND TOO MANY DOGS."
WHO AM I?
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND?
INDEED, I AM THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND.
YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE NEXT CATEGORY.
WILL IT BE LEGAL LATIN OR BROOKE McQUEEN?
I'LL TRY BROOKE McQUEEN FOR 100.
HEY, THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
WELL, AS SOCRATES SAID, THE KEY TO INTELLIGENCE
IS TO KNOW THYSELF.
FIRST QUESTION, 100 POINTS.
"BROOKE LOST HER VIRGINITY TO..."
WHO IS JOSH FORD?
- CORRECT! - HA! YES!
- GLAMAZON. - CORRECT!
YES!
- EATING DISORDER. - CORRECT!
[BUZZING]
- CORRECT! - AH!
YES!
I'LL TAKE STARS OF THE WB, ED.
WEDNESDAYS AT 9:00.
YOU ARE CORRECT, SAM!
ADULT MALE FILM STAR?
CORRECT!
CORRECT, CORRECT, CORRECT!
CONGRATULATIONS, SAM McPHERSON.
YOU RAN THE CATEGORY, AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE HAVE A TIE.
[HARRISON] DOESN'T DR. SKIPPY MEYER
LOOK LIKE STEPHEN HAWKING, THE WORLD'S SMARTEST MAN,
WHO CHERRY CHERRY COULD HAVE PAID TO BE ON HER TEAM?
CAN'T BE.
SAYS HERE HE'S A SOPHOMORE AND PRESIDENT OF THE TRACK CLUB.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE.
[ED] ALL RIGHT.
IN THIS SPECIAL INSTANCE, IF DR. MEYER KNOWS THE ANSWER,
HE'LL TYPE IN A BUZZ, AND WE'LL ACCEPT IT.
NOW, GENTLEMEN, YOUR TOSS-UP QUESTION.
"THE ORIGINAL MEANING OF THE WORD 'SINISTER'..."
OW! MY LEFT HAND...
CORRECT. "SINISTER" IS FROM THE LATIN, APPLIED TO PEOPLE
WHO WERE LEFT-HANDED.
NOW, HERE WE GO.
THE CATEGORIES ARE PHYSICS OF STRING THEORY
OR POULTRY.
[COMPUTER VOICE] STRING THEORY COULD BE FUN.
WE'RE ALL TIED UP. WHICH WAY DO WE GO, JOSH?
SON, WE HAVE TO HAVE YOUR ANSWER.
- I GUESS I'LL CHOOSE... - NO.
NO! JOSH! JOSH, WAIT!
POULTRY IS CHICKEN!
IT'S CHICKEN!
[ROOSTER CROWING]
ED, I'LL TAKE POULTRY FOR 100.
ALL RIGHT. "THE LATIN NAME FOR CHICKEN IS..."
- GALLUS DOMESTICUS. - CORRECT!
KENNEDY MOVES INTO THE LEAD!
BUZZ.
I'M SORRY, SKIPPY, YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE LATE.
ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION.
"IN 1994, THE NUMBER OF EGGS PRODUCED
IN THE UNITED STATES WAS..."
IT WAS APPROXIMATELY 73,866,147.
- CORRECT! - BUZZ.
SKIPPY, YOU'LL HAVE TO TYPE JUST A TINY BIT FASTER.
ALL RIGHT, FOR 500 POINTS.
"IF A ROOSTER IS NOT PRESENT IN A FLOCK OF..."
HIS ROLE WILL BE TAKEN OVER BY A HEN,
WHO WILL STOP LAYING EGGS AND START CROWING.
THAT IS CORRECT.
ALL RIGHT, IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS QUESTION:
FOR ONE BILLION POINTS,
THE GAME, AND PERHAPS THE SOLUTION
TO CALIFORNIA'S ONGOING ENERGY CRISIS, ANSWER THIS:
"THE FECAL MATTER PRODUCED BY ONE CHICKEN
IN ITS LIFETIME CAN SUPPLY WHAT?"
- ED? - YEAH?
A SINGLE CHICKEN'S FECAL MATTER...
CAN SUPPLY ENOUGH ELECTRICITY TO RUN A 100-WATT BULB
FOR UP TO FIVE HOURS.
CORRECT!
KENNEDY HIGH, YOU'RE THE WINNERS
OF THE BIG HEAD CHALLENGE!
THANKS, ED.
OH, YEAH.
FANTASTIC.
- YOU WERE GOOD. - NO, YOU WERE.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, YOU VICIOUS VIXEN,
THAT YOU STOOD OPPOSITE YOUR MOTHER TODAY
AND RUTHLESSLY DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD TO HUMILIATE ME
IN FRONT OF BOTH THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING THIS SHOW.
WELL, I LEARNED IT ALL FROM YOU, MAMA!
I'VE NEVER BEEN PROUDER OF YOU IN MY LIFE.
MAMA, DO YOU MEAN THAT?
I DO.
BESIDES, I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
ALL THIS TRIVIA IS USELESS CLUTTER BANGING AROUND UNDER MY WIG.
YOU TAUGHT ME NOT TO OVERVALUE SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT
AND THAT EVERYBODY HAS SOMETHING WORTH OFFERING
IF YOU SEARCH FOR IT.
THANK YOU, MAMA, THANK YOU.
NOW, FOR CROSSING ME, YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE,
AND I'M CUTTING YOU OUT OF THE WILL.
THANKS FOR PLAYING A GAME WITH ME, MAMA.
- HEY. - HEY.
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
NO.
'CAUSE YOU WERE RIGHT.
LILY, I'M REALLY SORRY.
I WANTED SOMETHING TO BE TRUE SO BADLY
THAT I MADE IT UP.
AGAIN.
BUT I'M THROUGH WITH THAT.
OH, CARM, THERE'S MORE TO RELATIONSHIPS
THAN JUST MAKING SURE YOU'RE IN THE SAME SCORING RANGE ON THE S.A.T.s.
I'M REALLY TIRED OF MAKING A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF, LIL.
PABLO JUST WANTED TO TEACH ME TO DANCE.
AND I... I MISUNDERSTOOD HIM,
STUPIDLY.
HE WAS NEVER INTERESTED IN ME.
TELL ME, THIS PABLO, IS HE ABOUT SIX FEET,
SHORT BROWN HAIR, GREAT DIMPLES,
KINDA NERVOUS?
HELLO.
HELLO, CARMEN.
[CLEARS THROAT] UM...
"I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO ASK YOU
"FOR A COFFEE,
"OR A JUICE.
PLEASE."
PLEASE.
SÍ.
OKAY.
MUCHO, MUCHO, SÍ.
JOSH?
OH, HEY, LILY.
CONGRATULATIONS...
ON YOUR BIG HEAD.
THANKS. IT WOULD HAVE MEANT MORE IF YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD HAVE.
I THINK I FIGURED OUT WHAT HAPPENED.
I HAVE BEEN SO FOCUSED ON THIS STUPID TEST
AND HOW WELL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO ON IT,
THAT I MADE YOU THINK IT WAS
A MEASURE OF HOW SMART SOMEBODY IS.
- YEP, YOU DID THAT. - AND I WAS WRONG.
THERE'S DIFFERENT KINDS OF INTELLIGENCE,
AND THIS TEST ONLY MEASURES ONE KIND.
IT MAY BE GOOD AT FIGURING OUT HOW MUCH MATH OR ENGLISH SOMEBODY KNOWS,
BUT IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS
OR ME.
I REALLY HOPE YOU MEAN THAT,
'CAUSE THERE'S JUST THINGS I'M NEVER GONNA BE SMART ABOUT.
HONEY, IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU LEARN.
IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW.
IN YOUR HEART, AND ON ANY TEST ABOUT GOOD AND DECENT INSTINCTS,
YOU'D SCORE THROUGH THE ROOF.
AND THAT'S WHY...
IT'S WHY...
YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME?
YES.
♪ TO BEND AND NOT TO BREAK
♪ CHIN UP, TRY NOT TO QUAKE
♪ I'M GRINNING ON THE OUTSIDE
♪ BUT I'M A WRECK INTERNALLY
♪ OOH, LA LA LA LA
♪ OOH, LA LA LA LA ♪