- Are you ready, kids?
kids: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
kids: Aye, aye, Captain!
- ♪ Ohh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
[flute plays]
[waves crashing]
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
- [humming]
[gasps]
Look, Patrick!
Dirty Bubble trading cards!
The rarest trading cards in existence!
[chuckling]
- Ooh, I invoke the ancient rite of dibs!
- [yells]
- Can't argue with that!
- Yes, my collection of Dirty Bubblobilia
will finally be complete.
- Congratulations.
You're the coolest guy here.
- [grunts]
- [sniffs] Ah.
There's nothing like the smell of vintage dust.
- Bubble Bass!
Have you been in that musty comic shop again?
You march yourself upstairs and take your bath!
- While we're here, why not make the most of it?
A little official Dirty Bubble bubble bath.
Now, where are those cards?
Ooh, hoo, hoo, they come with a stick
of Dirty Bubble bubble gum.
- [evil laugh]
[hard crunching]
- [coughing]
Eh.
Oh, dear, the nostalgic flavor
has given me a case of dyspepsia.
[bubbling]
- [evil laugh]
- [gasps]
- Yes!
I'm free!
- The Dirty Bubble!
- You chewing that crusty gum has freed me from
Mermaid Man's bubblegum trap.
What's your name, my bulbous buddy?
- Buh-buh--Bubble Bass.
- What a perfect name for my new sidekick.
Or should I say, inside kick.
- [yells]
Let me out!
- [evil laugh]
As a reward for releasing me, you're my new partner in crime.
- What's going on in--
Bubble Bass!
You're even filthier than before you took a bath.
- It's not my fault, Mother.
I'm trapped inside this foul felon.
- I hate to come between a man child and his mama,
but it's time to grime.
[evil laugh]
- [screams]
- Filthy!
- Ugh, it'll take forever to get out of this goop.
- I'm sorry, Mother!
- [evil laugh]
OK, let's get busy now.
- Please!
Remove yourself from my person!
- Sorry, fella, but you'll be the perfect cover
for my crimes.
And don't get any funny ideas.
The Dirty Bubble is in control now.
- Physical activity?
No!
Anything but that!
[tires squealing]
Please, do something!
[squeals] Whew.
Hm?
[bell dings]
[panting]
- Now that you know who's boss, let's start our grime spree.
I haven't bagged a bank in ages.
- Eh.
- Nobody move!
This is a stink up!
- Ew! - Ah!
Disgusting.
[alarm ringing, screaming]
- We may need to do a little--
money laundering.
- I guess crime does pay.
[sirens wail]
- Freeze, you filthy felon!
- Thanks for the compliment, Officer.
- [yells]
No!
- Mucked!
- I'm beginning to enjoy this little felonious--
[panting] --excursion.
[stomach growling]
I need sustenance, though.
I know the perfect crime to fill our bellies.
- I like your moxie.
Show me what you got, Sidekick.
- Give me all your Krabby Patties post haste.
- Keep your shirt on--
eh, goop on.
- All our Krabby Patties?
I'll handle this charming customer, Mr. Squidward.
SpongeBob!
We need a Krabby Bucket, pronto!
- Order up!
Love the Dirty Bubble cosplay, Bubble Bass.
- [burps]
- Oh, yes!
This greasy grub is most invigorating.
- Wah!
The real Dirty Bubble?
- It was a delightful repast.
But I'm afraid I still require a refund.
- Me money!
- [evil laugh]
- [squeals] Bubble Bass, get out of me restaurant!
But first, give me me money back.
[squeals]
[growls]
- Sorry, we won't be leaving--
- Until we're done thieving.
- Oh, no!
[whimpering]
Patrick!
- SpongeBob!
- [farts]
- Hey, I'm trying to eat here!
- So is my sidekick.
Here's another one, partner.
[chuckles]
- Hey, find your own patty to suck on!
[splatting, thudding]
[crowd murmuring]
- Wait!
Don't go!
[splatting, thudding]
Quick!
Get in!
[panting]
- Oh, if only Mermaid Man were here.
- Heh, I think we can handle this ourselves.
[laughs]
[triumphant music]
- Wow!
- Let's go pop that bubble.
- Stop right there, Dirty Bubble!
- What are you supposed to be?
A Mermaid Man tribute band?
- Say hello to Mermaid-Pants.
- Captain Tightwad.
- Dr. Negative.
- And Affordable Car!
- Don't you mean "Barnacle Star?"
- What he said.
- Ha!
Sea star swipe!
- Swipe!
- [blowing]
- [squeals]
[laughter]
- Feel my penny pinch!
- Pinch!
- Watch the claws, Crabby.
- [squeals]
No, no, no, no!
[wailing]
- Disinfect!
- Try my negative vibes.
- Vibes!
- Your negativity is no match for my disdain.
- Who cares?
[zap]
- What a bummer.
- Bummer!
- You're our last hope, Barnacle Star.
- [straining]
Sorry, I got nothing.
- Nothing!
- [evil laugh]
[sloshing]
- Icky!
[all groaning]
- [squeals]
- [evil laugh]
Now that those counterfeit clowns are pulverized,
what nefarious misdeeds should we commit next?
- [sighs] My filthy powers are running low, partner.
I need a recharge.
- Hm, I know the perfect place to invigorate
your noxious batteries.
The Chum Bucket!
Bring out as many buckets of chum as you can.
- Show me the money first.
- And keep it coming.
- Ooh, why, certainly, sir.
[evil laugh]
- Oh.
[slurping]
Hm, disgustingly delicious.
- The Chum Bucket serves the foulest fare in Bikini Bottom.
- [gulping]
Oh, yeah!
[chomping]
I can feel its putrid power coursing
through my bubbly body.
- Many buckets later.
- [burps]
I must have more!
- 382, 383--
Huh?
Ah!
- Jackpot!
Or should I say chum-pot?
[evil laugh]
- I may have made a slight--
[gulps] --miscalculation.
- Wah!
[slurping]
- [whimpering]
- [evil laugh]
This chubby chow has made me invincible.
Ooh, leftovers.
[slurps]
[rumbling]
Huh?
[groaning]
Uh-oh.
- Ew.
From now on, I'll stick to villains
who don't control my life.
- Bubble Bass!
- Mother.
- You come home right this instant and finish your bath!
- Right away, Mother.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Uh--there!
- Not bad.
But let's see what you think of this move.
[phone rings] Excuse me, Patrick.
I should get this.
[phone rings]
Yello?
- Oh, hello, son.
Are you busy?
- Well, Patrick and I are pretty deep into a game
of upside-down checkers, but I always
have time for you and Mom.
Boop.
- We're very glad to hear that because
we have a surprise for you.
Boop.
- A surprise?
I love surprises!
- Can you come over right away?
- You bet.
See you soon.
Sorry, Patrick, I have to go.
But Gary can finish the game with you.
- Meow.
- Looks like I only have one move left.
[bright music]
- Hi, Mom!
Hi, Dad!
- Hello, darling. Oh.
[giggles]
- My surprise has to be around here somewhere!
- It sure is, Son.
Are you ready for it?
- Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?
- Well, you're standing on it.
- [groans]
Boop.
- Plankton?
- Meet your new brother, Sheldon.
- [evil laugh]
[baby giggles]
- He-he.
[doorbell chimes]
- We found him on our doorstep this morning.
- He was just as cute as a button.
- And we did what any decent sponges would do
and immediately adopted the little foundling.
- Heh, heh, heh, heh.
[splutters]
I'm your new brother!
- Wait a minute.
- [nervous laughs]
- This is--great!
I've always wanted a brother!
Ooh!
- All right, you two boys have fun.
[smooching]
- All right, SpongeBob.
You heard the dopes.
Eh, I mean, "Mommy" and "Daddy."
We're brothers now.
And brothers tell each other everything.
[evil laugh]
Especially the Krabby Patty secret formula.
[evil laugh]
[laughter]
- You're right, Plankton.
There's no secrets between brothers.
- Yes.
Yes!
- But first, we have to get closer by doing things
together, like brothers do.
- [sighs] Eh, fine.
- First up, a little game of catch.
- Hold on, hold on! This glove is too big.
- Heads up!
- [groans] Here.
Here you go. [grunts]
- Nice throw, Plankton.
Now here comes one with a little spice on it.
- No, wait!
[sizzling]
It burns!
[splat]
- Oh, Harold, it's so nice to see our boys getting along.
- Aw, it really is, dear.
[splat]
- [groans]
OK, enough catch.
How about we share secrets now?
- Sorry, but we haven't filled our brotherly love meter yet.
We have more bonding to do.
And what better way to brotherly bond
than by helping our neighbors?
- [groans]
- I'm sure these nice ladies will
have some chores for us to do.
- Oh, goody.
[doorbell rings]
- Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying.
- No, ma'am.
My brother and I were hoping you had some housework
that needs doing.
- You two look like a couple of weirdos.
And I don't let weirdos touch my stuff!
- Ma!
Give it a rest!
Don't mind her.
You boys can mow our kelp lawn.
Mower's out by the tires.
Careful.
- We're always careful, ma'am.
OK, little brother, you get the motor going.
And I'll drive.
- [grunting]
Hey, can we switch places?
- [laughs]
That's cute, but you're not tall enough
to work the controls.
Now give her a good tug.
- All right, whatever.
[grunting]
[straining]
[engine whirring]
[screaming]
- Are you OK?
You were supposed to be careful.
- Mmm.
Nice work, I think.
Here's a shiny nickel, boys.
- You're paying for this mess?
Quit spoiling them, Mary.
[coin clinks]
- A lousy nickel?
Why, you decrepit-- [grunts]
- We're rich.
OK, next, we're going to head down to the junkyard
and play with the metal shredder.
- No way!
I've had it with your torturous activities.
[horns honking] I'm--wait a second.
Where are we?
Right by the Clown College.
Why?
- We have to get out of here right now.
Come on!
We'll take the long way home.
- What's the matter?
You're not afraid of clowns, are you?
[giggling]
- [growling]
I thought I told you not to come around here, Shrimp!
- [nervously laughs] Yeah, you might have mentioned
that before, Squeakers.
- That's Mr. Squeakers to you.
Looks like my big shoes get to stomp a tiny punk today.
- [whimpering]
- Brother!
No!
[heroic music]
- Wah!
- You--you saved me from that big-footed buffoon.
- Of course.
Brothers stick up for each other.
- I can't believe I'm saying this,
but, uh, I think I want to do more
stuff with you, big brother.
[cheerful music]
♪ ♪
- That cloud looks like an elephant fish.
- That one looks like an iron maiden.
- That one looks like a baby jellyfish.
- Ooh, that one looks like a depth charge.
Thank you, SpongeBob, for a truly wonderful day.
I had a lot of brothers and sisters growing up,
but never one who was actually nice to me.
- Little brother, I'm ready.
- Ready? Ready for what?
- We're real brothers now.
I'm ready to share my deepest, most secretest secret.
I swore I'd never tell it to anyone.
Oh, but I'm nervous.
Could you go first?
- Of course.
Anything for my brother.
Eh.
I put on a gruff exterior because I don't
want the world to hurt me.
But deep down, I'm afraid I'll push
everyone away and end up alone.
[sad violin music]
- Well, thanks very much for sharing that, little brother.
Now it's my turn.
[inhales deeply]
No one is supposed to know this, but--
but--
- Yes?
Yes?
- My tie, it's--
a clip-on!
- I knew it!
Wait, what?
- I never learned how to tie a tie!
Look at it! Look at it!
Look your eyes upon my accursed shame!
[breathing raggedly]
Whew, sure felt good to get that off my chest.
- That's it?
That's your secret?
Are you kidding me?
- Yep, that was it.
Wait, are you upset?
- You're darn right I am!
You were supposed to tell me the secret formula!
Nobody cares about your tie!
- The secret formula?
That's what you wanted to hear?
Oh, I can't share that.
It's locked in my brain box.
[beeping]
- [snoring]
- Well, then, I'll use this key to unlock it.
[whirring]
- [shrieks]
- [laughs]
- Oh, boy, I was afraid of this.
- It looks like you two just weren't made to be brothers.
Such a shame.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Well, the only thing responsible parents can do--
making our child someone else's problem.
- Bye, Plankton.
I really liked having you as a brother.
- Yeah, well, I hated every minute--
[doorbell rings]
- Why, look, Cecil!
It's a baby boy!
- Fantastic!
I've always wanted our son to have a brother.
Oh, Patrick!
- All right!
Let's play checkers!
Checkers! Checkers! Checkers! - Ouch! Ow!
- [giggles]
- Oh, brother.