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[Louis] The last thing this area needs is another restaurant,
and it's Italian. I can't believe it. Right next door,
for Christ's sake. The owner says to me,
[imitates Italian accent] "You know what? We be good neighbors.
Maybe we fix the sidewalk together, eh?"
-[Gary chuckles] -[Louis] Sidewalk's been like that for 100 years.
-Now they're gonna fix it? -[Enrico] Who are they?
[Louis] I don't know. Some guys from the Upper East Side.
-They had a successful joint, right? -[man speaking indistinctly]
[Louis] Now, now it-- it's time to invade Tribeca
-and pillage the village. -[laughter]
-God bless the uptowners. -[Enrico] Are you gonna sue him?
[Louis] I don't know. Can we sue him, Gary?
-[Gary] 'Fraid not. Uh, it's a free country, even in Tribeca. -[Louis] Mm.
[Enrico] Maybe we can get Black and Blue after them.
[Louis] Can you believe those guys, bustin' our balls?
Black and Blue? Whatever happened to the good old mobster nicknames like...
...Charlie Ears?
-So Joey-- -[laughter]
-Dega Doughnuts? -[laughter]
I know him. [laughs] Did you know him?
-[laughter] -Andy Provolone.
-[laughter] -Frankie Numb-nuts.
[Enrico] And what about the jackass who used cologne all the time?
-[Louis] Oh, Tony Cologne. -[laughter]
He used Aqua Velva. [indistinct]
[Enrico] You could smell him a mile away.
-[laughter] -[Gary] Nicknames...
[Enrico] What about Nicky Eyebrows?
[Louis] Yeah, I know Nicky very well. Did you know Nicky?
-[Enrico] Yeah. -[Louis] He talks very highly of you too.
-[laughter] -Listen, how do you like the food?
[Enrico] Oh, it's terrific.
Udo does a great job.
Tell him.
This is Duncan.
-Duncan made the food. -Duncan?
-[Gary chuckles] -Enrico, come on.
It'll be great.
Take this job, please, hmm?
For a bunch of whiners?
-[Louis] It's New York. -[Enrico] Argh.
Everybody whines.
Gigi, I'm not a maître d' anymore.
Besides, with your son, I always feel like I'm holding an heir.
Oh, damn it, take the job, please.
Who are we afraid of?
I'm not afraid. I'm tired.
We've been doin' the same shit for 25 years.
It's time to get out.
-Get out? -Yeah.
I got some new ideas.
We open a website. On the net.
We call it, uh, bookmakersareus. com,
booknumbers. com.
Enrico, let's call it a day.
Now, these guys aren't the brightest bulbs on the block.
They're not nice people.
Let 'em have the book.
You give these guys an inch,
they'll take a yard.
Next thing you know,
they'll want the restaurant.
Never the restaurant.
-I gotta go. -Where you goin'?
I gotta pick up Lucy from school.
Well, think of Lucy and Natalie.
[cutlery clinks]
Think about, uh...
...bookmakersareus. com.
-Get the fuck outta here. -[both laugh]
-Bookmakersareus. com. -Could be.
It's catchy.
[Italian operatic music]
-[Lucy chuckles] I got you, Grandpa. -[Enrico] Oh, you got me good.
You got me good.
Come on, Grandpa.
[inaudible]
Miss? Miss?
Uh, do you know where Lucy lives?
Yes, she and Catherine are in the same music class.
-[Enrico] Oh. Uh, this-- -Grandpa, where are you going?
I, I, I gotta-- I gotta go, honey.
I, I, just remembered I got something to do.
Now, you go home with, uh, Catherine and, uh...
-Adrian. -Adrian. Okay, honey.
-Will we still go to Maria's? -Yes, honey,
we'll go to Maria's. I promise.
-I love you. Goodbye, angel. -Bye, Grandpa.
Thank you very much. Make sure she gets home safe.
-[Adrian] She'll be safe with me. -[Enrico] Okay.
Thank you.
[music continues]
Why don't you two fuckin' guys go back to Queens where you belong?
Why don't you just leave us alone?
[Paolo speaks in Italian]
[gunshot]
[music continues]
[police siren wailing]
[muffled radio chatter]
[car horn honks]
[cop] Can you identify him?
[Louis] Uh, Enrico.
[phone buzzing]
It's Enrico Coventie.
[cop] Age?
Fifty-nine.
Two weeks before Christmas.
[muffled radio chatter]
Wasn't he your partner?
You know he was.
Any more questions?
[muffled radio chatter continues]
[doorbell buzzes]
[machinery whirring]
[muffled] Natalie, it's me, Louis.
Hi.
Have you heard anything?
-Natalie... -Oh, no.
-I'm sorry. -I knew it.
[weeps]
[speaks indistinctly]
["Star" by Goat]
* In these hot summer nights *
* I stay up with the moon *
* And the sun comes up too soon *
* Find the dreaming of you *
* Going into extra endings *
* Extra frames *
* I'm bowling for dollars *
* Had to bow my lanes *
* Even, and even though *
* I am bound to you by my bones *
* Flesh and blood will fail *
* Someday *
* I can only kneel and pray *
* Don't have to be the next big thing *
* You can be just who you are *
* Everything is everything *
* Everybody is a star *
-Hey, you guys! -Hey, Nicole, baby. How are you?
[music fades]
Look, eh, change your shirts.
-Dry-cleaning bill comes out of tips. -Oh, come on.
Specials tonight are "Pere, Robiola e Speck.
That's grilled red pear, imported Robiola cheese,
and smoked prosciutto with yellow tomato dressing.
Panelle, chickpea fritters and goat cheese
with sautéed wild mushrooms.
-Insalata--" -I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[snaps fingers] Quick, quick.
"Fusilli con melanzane,
corkscrew pasta with eggplant, tomato--"
[in American accent] "...and Ricotta Salata.
-Manicaretti al--" -[in Italian accent] Ricotta.
Ricotta Salata. Thank you.
[in American accent] "Manicaretti alla crema di funghi--"
-[in Italian accent] Manicaretti. -Damn, this is killin' me.
-It's blasphemy, what you're doing. -[sighs] Chill.
[in American accent] "Manicaretti alla crema di funghi asiago--"
-[in Italian accent] Crema di funghi. -"Crema di funghi asiago,
and Ricotta cheeses." -[in Italian accent] Ricotta.
Ricotta. "Wrapped in pasta
with a hint of mushroom cream sauce."
What the fuck is this?
Yes.
-[in American accent] "Tonno al verde--" -Tonno.
[speaks in Italian]
With mashed parsnips and potatoes.
Yellow and red currant tomatoes.
Uh, Galletto, rotisserie Cornish hen
with fava bean puree and dandelions. Vitello--
"Seared veal chop con savoy cabbage..."
[speaks in Spanish]
"...con savoy cabbage y roast potatoes--"
"And porcini mushrooms.
And our specialty, Branzino:
wild striped bass
with fennel, black olives, and red wine."
So, what do you fancy?
Hey, I need two glasses of red and a diet.
[indistinct chatter]
[speaks in Italian]
[speaks in Spanish]
-What are you choppin'? -Chives, chef.
-These are, these are chives? -Yeah, for the veal chops, I think.
No, these are snowflakes. Nino, it's simple. Chives are identical.
Want me to show you? Let me show you.
This knife is dull. Is it yours?
You're fired. Get out. Get out!
Before you cut off one of your fingers.
This kitchen will not be the last refuge for misfits!
Has anybody seen Duncan?
Uh, Harold, you're on the line tonight.
-But I'm workin' the salad line. -There are only three proper responses
when I say something to you.
"Yes, chef." "No, chef."
"I don't know, chef." You're on the line tonight.
-Yes, chef. -Ándale! Let's go!
[jazz music playing over stereo]
Thank you.
Good evening, Miss Chan.
-I'm just gonna grab a seat at the bar. -Yeah, go ahead.
[diners chattering]
-Excuse me. -Oh, sure.
[sighs]
-What can I get you? -How about a pisco sour?
-[chuckles softly] -Nice drink, very exotic, I'm afraid we don't have it.
-Uh, bourbon with soda. -Got it.
-Can I get a bite to eat at the bar here? -Yeah, sure.
-If you want the specials, just ask the waiters. -Okay.
Enjoy, sir.
[diners chattering]
You want that with ice, on the rocks?
-Pa, I gotta talk to you. -About what?
-I need money. -Money? What for?
I need a new mixer, I need Lenox china,
-I need to take care of a couple guys in the kitchen. -What guys?
Gabriel and a pair of Latinos you don't know.
[Louis] Mm. Of course.
Why would there be Italians in an Italian kitchen?
Okay, you got the money.
Why do I have to come to the godfathers' table beggin' every time?
It's tough bein' a star, isn't it?
Uh, pretty soon this will all be yours and you can do whatever the hell you want.
-When? -When you stop askin' me when.
-[sighs] -[Marti] Excuse me, Mr. Cropa,
can I get you anything from the kitchen?
No, Marti, not now.
I'll wait a little longer, okay? Thank you.
-What did you say? -Why don't you stick with the bookmaking
and let me run this business?
I've had this restaurant for longer than you've been alive...
...and I still have it, and it's my money.
People squeeze through that door because of my food, not because it's your place.
Yeah? [chuckles ironically]
Let's see here.
[clears throat] "Snapper carpaccio with blood orange juice,
pumpkin risotto with chestnuts,
rabbit Piedmontese
wine reduction with chocolate."
-You call this shit food? -Something for the critics. Come on.
Your mother made food, not for the critics, simple, elegant.
This place used to smell like heaven.
You say you're a businessman. This place is packed every night.
He boffs one scary food writer, suddenly he's mob.
-It's hard for you to accept they love my food, isn't it? -[Louis] Food?
These people wouldn't know food if it hit them in the ass.
Put a meatball on their plate, and they'd think it was a miniature bowling ball.
I want food.
There's nothing left to eat here.
I need something...
What? Nourishing.
-What, traditionally impressionable? -Yeah, traditional, substantial.
Something that, that tastes good, that smells good.
-Where the hell's Duncan? -I'm gettin' outta here.
We don't make meatballs here anymore.
[Spanish lively music]
[door creaks open, closes]
[speaking in Spanish]
Hey, the tomato smells smoky. Did you burn it?
[speaking in Spanish]
[Duncan] Get to work!
Come on! [speaks in Spanish]
Hey, did your check come in this morning?
-[Gabriel] Yes, it did, but yours didn't! -[laughs]
[speaks in Spanish]
[grunts] Shit.
Hey, was Nicole in here today?
[speaks in Spanish]
[Duncan] Hey, did Nicole come in here?
Comin'. I'm comin', I'm comin', I'm comin'.
[indistinct chatter]
[Gabriel] Mr. Late. Welcome. Welcome, Mr. Late.
-[Duncan] All right. -[Gabriel] Number four.
[speaking in Spanish]
-[indistinct] -Come on, guys.
[Gabriel] Coming, coming!
[man speaks in Spanish]
[Gabriel] Carrots. The carrots.
[indistinct chatter]
-[Udo] What's that smell? -What?
-What is that smell? -I stink.
Sausage and peppers is not on my menu, it is not made in my kitchen.
-Hey, Chef, how you doin'? I'm sorry I'm late. -[Udo] Once again.
-Hey, I'm just makin' a little dish for your-- -Yeah, for my dad.
-[Duncan] Yeah. -[Udo] Don't burn the sausage.
Where the fuck is my oregano?
Hurry up. Book's full tonight. Come on.
What the fuck are you doin' there?
I'm workin' the line tonight, according to Udo.
-Where the fuck is Nino? -Early casualty of the evening.
Nino finito. Eighty-sixed Nino.
-I told you not to train anyone when the book is full. -I changed my mind.
Duncan, I can do it, okay? I prepped your clams.
-I got your balsamic vinegar. I-- -No, you misplaced my oregano.
You know what the French say, bro? Mise en place.
Keep everything in its fuckin' place.
Look at this. Risotto here.
Pasta here, sauces there.
Oil up front.
-You got it? -I think so.
No, you gotta know so, okay? When things get slammed,
you gotta know where everything's at.
[speaks in Spanish] Expect abuse. You get no sympathy from me, man.
-In other words, you're fucked. -Very macho, this men's club down here.
I'm waiting on a snapper carpaccio.
Just leave your order. Duncan, get that disgusting dish outta here.
Let's get serious. Gabriel, come on. Come on!
[speaks in Italian]
[lively jazz music playing over stereo]
[Udo] Let's go.
-Hey, Lou. -Ah!
Hope it's okay.
Got the sausages at Spargelli's.
He says hello.
He's also sorry about Enrico.
How's everything goin' down in the kitchen?
Oh, it's fine. You know, same old.
-Udo's on his little power trip. -[speaks in Italian]
-[chuckles] -Sit down.
[groans]
-[Louis] Thanks, Marti. -A pleasure, Mr. Cropa.
You didn't call your mother like I asked you. Did you?
I told you, a real man takes care of his family.
My mom's fine.
You know, I call whenever I get a chance, so...
So, good.
-So I like the game at the Garden tonight. -[Louis] Yeah.
Post has St. John's minus eight.
Forget it. How many times I have to tell you?
I don't handle your bets or anyone else's.
-Come on-- -Besides, everything you touch turns to shit,
except for these sausages.
Louis, the game starts in 15 minutes.
If I took money from your salary for the next ten years,
it still wouldn't settle up our debt.
-You bet, you lose, I pay. -[sighs]
Where's the sense in that, huh?
-How much do you owe? -To you or the other guys?
I already know what you owe me.
Six and a half thousand.
Black and Blue.
First time you ran into them,
you didn't pay, they came lookin' for you.
Unfortunately, they found Enrico.
-You know they killed him? -Oh, come on.
You don't know that for sure.
You're right. Like you don't know about the Garden tonight.
-Louis, I need this fuckin' bet. -Hmm.
I don't...
...and you don't.
-[sighs] -Duncan, don't make this bet.
[Duncan sighs]
[phone ringing]
[sizzling]
[diners chattering]
Yeah, hey, it's me. Dunc.
-Uh, what do you got goin' at the Garden tonight? -[man] John's. Minus eight.
Give me-- I'll take St. John's and I'll give up eight.
-Just double what I owe you. -What?
Double up on what I owe you.
Yeah, I know it's my ass.
By the way, we're comin' by tonight.
How'd you guys get reservations?
-Gotta go. Phone's ringin'. -W-- Wait.
[disconnect tone]
Shit.
Asshole.
[man on radio] When you got a guy who's 6'10," 6'11"
-on the front line... -[man 1] Come on, Duncan. Come on.
...you got to figure somebody's gonna shoot 45%. 50%--
[man 2 speaks in Spanish]
-[muffled chatter on radio] -[shushes]
[diners chattering]
[lively jazz music playing over stereo]
[Piper] If that prick on 56 touches my leg again,
I'm going to stab him with this fork.
-[exclaims] Ugh. -[man] There are weird people here tonight.
Someone asked for Zuppa di pesce with cream sauce.
[muffled chatter on radio]
[Ademir] ...get you a nice table.
We have a reservation.
-[Ademir] The name? -[speaks in Italian]
Excuse me?
Just show us the table...
...when it's okay with the owner.
[Gary] Here they come.
Buona sera.
Duncan is here tonight, correct?
-Duncan who? -[Carmen] Excuse me.
When I ask you a question,
you give me a truthful answer, okay?
Duncan is here tonight, correct?
[stutters] We'll see if we have a Duncan on our roster.
I love your outfits.
[speaks in Italian]
How come the cops can put Gotti away for a lifetime,
they can't nail these two pricks?
Leo, good to see you.
Louis. Fine.
Nice place.
[speaks in Italian]
If you don't find what you need on the, uh, menu,
I'm sure the kitchen will oblige.
When you get a chance, come over.
That's Italian for what, Lou?
He said the place looks like Italy.
Fat fuck.
[speaks in Italian]
[Udo] Come on. We're turnin' covers like crazy. What's with the radio?
-Duncan, come on. -Give me a couple of seconds. Give me a couple of seconds.
All right, you're gonna lose an arm or a leg tonight. Let's go.
[Fitzgerald] We're gonna go, but I, I want to talk to this lady.
Excuse me, excuse me, Miss Chan.
-Mr. Fitzgerald! -Excuse me. We, we--
-We were here before you. -What? We've waited 25 minutes.
-The table's ready. -But why? But why the long wait?
-I'm sorry. Come on, follow me. -I have friends.
-Just a minute. I'll be right back. -It's ridiculous.
-I'm so sorry. I apologize, but, you know... -Yeah, well--
-...tide is like racing. -But an apology is not sufficient.
-[Nicole] I'm sorry. [laughs] -[Fitzgerald] Maybe, uh, maybe--
-[Nicole] You're gonna have a wonderful meal. -Yeah, and wine.
Maybe-- Have a seat.
-Maybe a nice bottle... -Here.
Joseph, Joseph, here.
A nice bottle of Brunello di Montalcino '91,
-compliments of Mr. Cropa, of course. -Of--
-Of course, of course. -Everyone seated?
-[Nicole] Here we go. -And, and soon,
-because we've been waiting so long. -[Nicole] I know.
-[Fitzgerald] I want it now. -[Nicole] All righty.
A second ago, I didn't think I could make it through the night.
You gotta let me have table 32, man.
[calm music playing over stereo]
-Here you go. Enjoy. -Great.
[speaks in Italian]
-That sure is pretty. -Yeah, I don't know whether to eat it or fuck it.
You look at paintings in restaurants? [laughing sarcastically]
Do you look at the cheese tray at galleries? [laughs]
[Italian lively music playing over stereo]
[Carmen] Louis, sit down, please.
I'd rather stand.
[man] They brought your tip.
-Sorry. I gave you the wrong dish. -No problem.
-There you go. -That's a bit more like it.
Now, that smells wonderful.
How's everything?
Well, the service is a little slow, but...
...I understand.
I'm not being welcomed.
No, you're welcome here. I invited you...
...to enjoy the unusual food
my son takes, uh, such great pride in.
Nah.
Give me a plate of linguini and clams,
white sauce, I'm happy.
I don't go in so much for all this, uh,
nouveau cuisine.
Word has it you don't, either.
-Really? -That's why you keep that punk Duncan around, huh?
-He takes care of you. -The way you take care of him?
If memory serves,
it was you who shut the door.
Why don't you stop takin' his action?
The kid's a pathological gambler.
He needs help...
...not another bookmaker.
No, come back. Can I have that?
-That's for Table 40. -Oh, that's okay. Get another one.
Pathetic.
The guy couldn't pick a winner if his life depended on it.
Which it does.
Did my partner tell you to go fuck yourself?
Just a little something to start with, compliments of Mr. Cropa.
[speaks in Italian]
Is this a good place to talk?
The people here only listen to themselves.
It's too loud.
-Let's take a walk. -Okay.
We'll talk downstairs.
I like a man that likes to eat.
[diners chattering]
Whenever I have a private talk, I, I like to do it outside the toilet.
[soft suspenseful music]
-[Carmen] Got a good crowd in there tonight. -[Louis] Yeah, we do.
[Carmen] Do those kind of numbers on a regular basis?
-[Louis] We do it every day of the week. -[Carmen] It's beautiful.
Restaurant's good cash business, right? It's not all credit.
Well, it's mostly credit, but I suppose there is some cash, yeah.
What would you say a place like this is worth in a given year?
I don't know. I think you'd have to ask my accountant Gary.
Let's just say it's, uh...
...3,500,000 million.
You take 20%.
That's 700,000.
It's a nice little nut.
You come up with those numbers right off the top of your head?
You a mathematician?
You're not wearin' a wire, are you?
I was gonna ask you the same thing.
[both laugh]
Hey, let me come right to the point.
My brother-in-law and I...
...we're steppin' out on our own.
I'm lookin' around this place,
and I'm thinkin'...
...this might be a good place to start.
Did you think about that on your way over from Queens
or did you just come up with it now?
I'll put it simply for you.
I'm offering you...
...my partnership.
I had a partner.
[Carmen] Gigi.
-That's what they call you, right? -Yeah.
My wife and Enrico used to call me that, sure.
-Mm-hmm. -Gigi, Luigi,
whatever the fuck your name is...
...don't worry.
We'll be good partners.
I invited you here to talk about a bookmaking operation,
not the restaurant.
I'm here to talk about something bigger.
A business proposition
that you take... [inhales]
-...or leave. -Bookmakin' I can understand,
but what do you know about the restaurant business?
Nothin'. That's your job.
So you come all the way down here to muscle a piece of something
you know nothing about?
No other reason.
I'd rather eat in Queens.
Now, think about it.
We'll be upstairs.
Let's eat.
[speaks in Italian]
-[indistinct chatter on radio] -Come on, get the ball, get the ball, get the ball.
Come on.
-Try, try some of the olive oil-- -Buona sera.
Good evening. My name is Marti, and I'll be your waitress this evening.
-My name's Fitzgerald. I'll be your customer. -[Bettina laughs]
I always want to say that. I don't know why they tell you their names.
-Is there anything I can-- -His name is Joseph, he'll be your other customer.
-Joseph. A pleasure to meet you. -I'm pushing it.
Can I start you off with a drink, sir?
We asked for a bottle of Brunello di Montalcino '91...
-It'll be right up. I'll bring it up myself. -...as a gift from Mr. Cropa
-because we waited almost 45 minutes to get a table. -Of course, sir.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Doesn't that bother you when they tell you their names?
[gentle music playing over stereo]
So, how is it?
Very good.
Cavatelli? Is that how you say it? Cavatelli?
-Yeah. -Broccoli raw, roasted almonds. Nice, nice.
I think I read [indistinct] the chef's one of these bright new stars, right?
Yeah, yeah, if you ask him, he is.
Yeah, but he is good. I mean, uh, one of the reviews said, um,
[in French accent] "Italian as a new language for the flocking."
[chuckles]
[in normal voice] Do you want the regular
or decaf on that cappuccino?
Regular.
-Will you try this first, sir? -Yes, thank you.
Please, if you guys need anything special
or out of the ordinary from the kitchen,
-don't hesitate to let me know. -Thank you.
-Pour away. -[Joseph] Excuse me, what-- what is your name?
Uh, Martha Arlene Wellington.
Martha Arlene Wellington. Where you from?
From Bowie, Maryland. Where are you from?
-Greece. Yes. -From Greece.
-Athens? -Somewhere near there.
He's one of the greatest modern Greek painters...
-[speaks in Greek] -...in the world.
-It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. -Same here.
They wrote him up in The New York Times
as "the blast from the Balkans."
[man on radio] And we have a tendency to overlook
what this team is and what they've done.
Thirty-two, thirty-one. A very entertaining first half.
And I'm glad we had a little time to kill here at halftime
to allow this guy to get to the crowd.
Come back to Madison Square Garden at the court.
Halftime. And the Red Storm with a one-point lead.
Last year's team accomplished a lot. The next year's team,
-everyone's looking forward... -Hey, Nicky.
Yes.
I miss you.
[romantic music]
Oh, I don't know. We're, like, swamped now.
[Duncan] Come on, baby. Two-minute break.
It's important, honey.
Okay.
Man, I don't know which is worse.
You fucking with his food or his lady.
Dickman Duncan. You my hero, man!
You my hero!
[door rattles shut]
[exhales]
What's the matter?
Got a little jealous.
Just not used to it.
Earrings.
You left them in the office.
You know, Duncan, what's happening to me and Udo
has nothing to do with you, okay?
Oh, it has nothin' to do with me?
-Nothin' to do with me? -Come on.
-I don't have a say in who you sleep with? -No, not really, Duncan.
Not yet, you don't.
Come on.
Back to work.
[Gabriel speaks in Spanish]
-Hey, hey, who's pullin' dinners? -Thirty-two, right here.
[Gabriel speaks in Spanish]
Here, here, here! [speaking in Spanish]
Get the fuck outta here.
-What-- What'd he say? -Hey, kid, shut up.
I love you, man. I love you. I love you, man. I love you.
I, I, I feel like there's, there's some shit going on here tonight.
-There really is. -Exactly.
Hey, what do you think of Table 32, Ademir?
[Ademir] Oh, Fitzgerald? He's so cheap.
He likes to stay out late, really late.
I mean, he's like a, a nocturnal creature.
-Yeah, so are cockroaches. -[Ademir] Right.
[men speaking in Italian]
-You know what I hate most about this gig? -What's that?
You'll give 'em the entire 12 specials,
and then they'll look at you with blank faces and go,
"Could you tell me that third one again, please?"
You might wanna be careful. Uh, King Cropa's at the top of the stairs, watchin'.
-[Ademir] What is, what is your last name? -It's Rifraud.
-Uh, this is-- -[diners] Oh!
[people clamoring]
[indistinct chatter]
-[Udo] What's goin' on with the lights? -Ademir?
-Uh, excuse me-- -What the hell is happening?
-What are you guys doin' with the lights? -What? Are we back
-into the main room? What's happening to the lights, man? -[Udo] Duncan,
-Duncan, what's the problem? -Where's the flashlight?
What the fuck do I look like, huh? Hey, man, ask Sean to check
-the fuse box. -[man] Hey, guys, we goin' home early or what?
-Get Sean to get down here and check the fuse box. -[man] What?
Get outta here. Come on, let's go!
-[Louis] Ademir. -[Ademir] Don't worry, don't worry.
-Marti? Piper? -It's, it's the romantic touch.
-They, they always do something special... -[woman speaking indistinctly]
...whenever, whenever I come here.
[Marti speaking indistinctly]
Give me.
[Gabriel] Here's another one. Here's another one, man. Get that out now!
[people clamoring]
I can't work like this, man. I need light. I need light.
[speaks in Italian]
[Gabriel] I feel like I'm back home, man. This is ridiculous!
The city promises the power will be back on in minutes.
-[man] The city sucks! -[diners cheering]
[Fitzgerald] I, I love it because it reminds me
-of those Thanksgiving dinners. -[laughs]
[waitress] Drinks all around on the house, all right? I'm gonna get drinks.
-Yeah. -Drinks? Drinks for everyone on the house, eh?
-[diners cheering and clapping] -Great.
We waited two months for this reservation. We're not leaving.
-I'm sorry, but, no, you're not leaving, okay? -Okay.
Keep the food moving. I am not dropping one fucking meal.
Keep the food moving.
I'm blown away, Gary.
This is the first time you've invited me to a candlelight dinner.
[laughs]
[people chattering]
Watch your step. I apologize for the lights,
but we should have them back on any moment now.
[Sean] Give me your next question, please. Somebody give a question.
All right, uh, bring that, bring that flashlight over here. I got one.
-Smarty-pants. -Uh, where was the first Mai Tai poured?
-Trader Vic's to you. -[people oohing]
Who was Carl von Clausewitz?
He was the father of modern military strategy, and he was Prussian.
-Guys, I did say make 'em hard. -[man] He's pretty good, eh?
All right, but who invented the printing press?
Oh, that is hard. Uh, let's see.
-Uh, would that be Gutenberg? Next. -[all] Oh!
Lot of business for a Tuesday.
[people chattering]
Louis, you familiar with Sodom and Gomorrah?
Yeah, I heard of 'em.
But don't ask me any more than that.
-[diners chattering] -Calamari?
It was destroyed by fire because of the sinfulness of the people.
What the hell are you talkin' about?
-[laughs] -[Sean] Man.
-Who invented peanut butter? -[man 1] Yeah.
Nice. See, now we're gettin' serious. Who invented peanut butter?
Uh, let's see.
-George Washington Carver. -Oh.
-[man 2] Ooh. -[man 3] Man!
I did it, man. That's good.
Sean, I need a Cosmo and two reds, please.
-Cosmo and two reds. All right. -Thanks.
Hey, bartender, I've got a question for you.
Who's the main character in Breakfast of Champions?
-[woman 1] Oh. -Kilgore Trout.
Go on. Double or nothing. Double or nothing.
[indistinct] money. Let's not cheat.
All right, what are the first five books
of the Hebrew bible called?
-[people chattering] -[woman 2] Whoa.
-Ah! -A little tough, huh?
[people cheering]
[man 4] Under pressure a little bit, maybe, yeah?
-Yeah, I think so. -[woman 3] Come on, come on.
-The Pentateuch. -[man 5] Oh, right.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
-[man 6] Ah! -Sweetie, thank you very much.
-[women laugh] -One more.
[muffled chatter]
-Look how comfortable those two scumbags are. -[people cheering]
They like it here.
I almost wish you'd taken the kid's action.
Gary...
...we're out of the bookmaking business.
Get used to it. From now on, I'm just a legitimate restaurateur.
She's still, like, waking up, like, every three hours, you know?
-[man speaking indistinctly] -[woman 1] ...him getting up.
Honey, come on. [clicking tongue]
Am I seeing what I'm seeing?
-[woman 1] Yeah. -[woman 2] ...it's much later,
-then, I mean, I would be, like... -[people chattering]
What two days that there's no professional sports play?
Before and after the All-Star Baseball Game, isn't it?
-[man 1] Man! -[man 2] He's not even an American.
-[Sean] I'm not even an American. -[people laugh]
All right, I got it. I got it.
When did the dog become man's best friend?
-Sorry, I don't see your-- -[Marti] Sean. Sean, I need
a gin and tonic, and a white wine.
-Marti, marry me. I'm gettin' rich. -[woman 1 chuckles softly]
-I don't see your money anywhere. -No, no, no, no. No fuckin' way.
Answer the question.
Put the money on the bar.
[people oohing]
[woman 2] Yeah, it's been awesome.
-[man 3] Let's see what he's made of. -[woman 3] Uh-huh. Ooh.
-When did the dog-- -Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you first time.
Around 10,000 B.C.,
the same time the Near Eastern hunter-gatherer tribes
domesticated the goat.
-[people clamoring] -How did I know that?
How did I know that one? I don't know.
I don't know. Keep your money.
-Drinks all round! -[cheering and clapping]
Ey, ey, ey, you alcoholics!
-[Udo] Hey, Gabriel, the lamb, the risotto, now. -[people chattering]
Dunc, rumor has it you had lunch with Boulard last week.
Let me tell you something. That guy won't put up with your shit like I do.
[Gabriel] More plato, more plato.
[Udo] Get the risotto, not the potatoes.
Let me tell you something about this guy.
The food is old, it's old-fashioned, it's heavy.
Be a stupid move on your part. Don't do it.
Hey, chef, 46, get it out.
Fuck Boulard, okay? We're turnin' covers like crazy.
More people are gonna get laid upstairs than in the last ten years.
That's no bullshit, man. You know I will.
Hey. [speaks in Italian] Okay?
-[man speaking indistinctly on radio] -Relax.
[indistinct chatter]
-One more question? -Shoot.
When are those lights gonna come back on, huh?
Give me that fiver for a sec.
-[man 1] What? -Nice one.
Finally, we got a winner.
[man 2] Here we go. Move it up.
[man speaking indistinctly on radio]
Come on! Go on!
[Marti] Hey, your guys' mistakes are comin' out of my tips!
-[man 3] Take it easy. -[Marti] Don't tell me to take it easy
and why am I not being tipped?
We're just gonna say hi to Mr. Cropa, then leave, okay?
-[laughter] -Oh.
-Hi. -Hi.
-So, it's time to go? -Yeah.
It wasn't the candles, or was the food bad?
No. No, I just gotta get Lucy back home.
And the food... My God, those little octopus thingies were so deli--
And that, and that fish with the...
Where does Udo come up with all this stuff?
-Who in the hell knows? -[laughs]
-Lucy, say hi to Mr. Cropa. -Lucy, they bring over the pizza?
Yes, thank you, Mr. Cropa.
No. Louis. Always Louis.
Uh, we're gonna just take care of the check.
No, you can't pay for anything here.
I think I already paid, Lou.
Anyway, thank you for the food.
-Good night, Lucy. -Good night.
[melancholic music]
I know you miss him as much as we do.
It's just hard for me because I feel like
my father died for absolutely nothing.
You know, garbage.
[cheering and clapping]
-One thing-- -[cheering]
-[man 1] All right! -[man 2] All right! Woo-hoo.
-[indistinct chatter] -Hey, guys. Bravissimi! Bravissimi!
-Turn them off. -Turn it off. It's better the other way!
Problem with your world, Lou, is no one gives a shit about it anymore, all right?
-[Bettina] Turn it off. -[Fitzgerald] Yes.
Welcome to the new world.
-[people clapping] -[Sean] All right!
Back to normal. Now you gotta pay.
[cross talk]
You little faggot, where's my snapper?
-Look, I'm tryin', I'm tryin'. -[Udo] I need my quail. I got...
Yeah, yeah, the quail's comin' up.
[bright music playing over stereo]
-[indistinct chatter] -[man 1] Where's 36?
Duncan, where's my quail?
You saw me put it in the oven. You know how long it takes, all right?
-Get off my ass. I'm busy. -I don't like your attitude. You want me to can you too?
-Yeah, fire me. -[man 2] Come on, get back to work.
[man on radio] ...back outside. Carter to the basket.
[indistinct] It goes up. Hits it!
All right, come on! That's-- See?
That's what I'm talkin' about.
[bright music playing over stereo]
[man laughs]
[woman laughs]
[Ademir] I, I can't seat you just now.
But if you'll wait a few more minutes-- [stutters]
We're booked solid. I know you've been waiting,
-so, please. -Calata.
-[stutters] Yes, you are half an hour early. -Seat them.
-But, look, I'm-- -Seat them.
Uh, buona sera. Please.
-[Jennifer] Anthony. -Miss Freely. We tried that little place
you recommended in the Berkshires.
-It was quite extraordinary. -Excellent.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Good to see you.
Joseph, would you hang your paintings in a restaurant?
-Would you, Bettina? -...the food.
Well, you must be kidding me.
We don't have a table on the balcony?
Oh, uh, we're a little bit tight right now.
We'll do what we can.
[cutlery clinking]
-Udo, I gotta talk to you. -[man on radio] ...fabulous for St. John's tonight.
[Gabriel] Get that, get that quail!
-Come on. -No, stop it, Udo.
-[Udo] Let's see what you got on underneath there. -Stop.
-Udo, come on! -Yeah?
You're amazing.
Now there are at least two of us here
-you've slept with. -Huh?
Jennifer Freely is upstairs wearing the most hideous wig.
Freely's not on Tuesday. Who's she with?
[exhales] A gorgeous babe.
I think she's known around the biz as the Food Nymph.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
And that pain in the ass Fitzgerald wants you at his table
to show you off to his artist friends.
-Oh, great. -Good luck, star chef.
-[indistinct chatter] -Everybody get this, and get it straight!
Upstairs is one of New York's most important food writers.
I don't want a mistake, not one mistake.
Every morsel of food that leaves this kitchen form this moment on
-has gotta be perfect. Perfect! -[Duncan] Shit.
-What? -Shit.
Come on, Dunc. Andiamo!
[man 1 speaking in Italian]
-[man 1] Let's move it! Let's move it! -[man 2] Let's get workin'.
What do we got?
To Fitzgerald's left is Joseph Kamplos
and to his right is Bettina Schwartz.
They're both LA artists, very hot right now.
But the rest of them are mostly hangers-on.
Nobody looks happy. Have they eaten anything yet?
Relax, chef. It's not the food.
It's the fine arts world. They don't want to be happy.
And over there at the corner
is the lovely Jennifer Freely.
Christ, Udo.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
[man on radio] ...and we have a time-out. Time-out was called by...
[indistinct chatter]
The last few minutes have been rather ragged...
-Hey. -Hey.
-What's that for? -Nothing.
Just, um, you're cool.
-I thought I was sexy. -Yeah, that too.
-How's your game going? -[exclaims]
-[Piper] Did you know that Jennifer Freely's upstairs? -[Marti] Yeah.
That makes at least three women that Udo's slept with here tonight.
Well, you need another Valium, girl.
-Oh, it's so good to see you. -Welcome.
This is the very famous Udo Cropa.
-And this is-- -Bettina Schwartz.
-And, and-- -Joseph Kamplos.
And everybody.
I've just been telling them that I came here
-when nobody came here. -Which was not that long ago, I promise.
Well, they're here now. I mean, just look at this place.
And that little brownout you staged before was brilliant.
-The place felt like a last supper. -[laughs]
If you don't mind me asking, how do you know us, Mr. Cropa?
Ah, your reputation precedes you. I know your work.
And, Udo, you are the only restaurateur who hangs interesting art.
-Am I the only one? -Well, uh,
-Danny Meyer does at the Gramercy Tavern... -Oh, Danny Meyer. He's--
-...but it's not that interesting. -[chuckles] You're very kind.
I apologize there was a problem with the reservation,
but desserts will be on the house. Thank you very much.
If there's anything you need, please ask me.
Marti here will take care of you.
She's already made her presence known.
Why does that not surprise me?
Listen, if you don't mind me asking,
just, uh, just wonderin', are you waiting for someone or something?
Just seem to be on that stool for a long time.
-I'm just curious here... -Mm.
...watching all these people.
Stargazing potential, you know what I mean?
-[chuckles] -Wonder...
-Wonder when it all changed. -Meaning?
When did eating dinner become a Broadway show?
Good question. For just five bucks,
I can give you the answer to that one.
[man on radio] ...fires a three. Way off the mark...
Shit. Come on. Come on.
Get the ball. These guys are so stupid.
-[Marti] Did you enjoy your appetizers? -[Udo] Buona sera. Hello.
-Hi, I'm Udo. -I'm Sophie. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Well, now that you've totally blown my cover,
I might as well take off this silly wig.
No, no, no, Jennifer, leave it. It looks great.
There's no way you could go unrecognized in this place.
Look, couldn't you get us a little better table up on the balcony?
Uh, well, uh, as soon as something opens up,
I promise I'll get you right up there.
Now, look, I know this is strictly confidential,
but when are you totally taking over this place?
I mean, it's so clearly obvious that you're the one making it happen down here.
Jennifer, that information is supposed to be private.
What are you in the mood for? What can I get for you?
God, the whole menu sounds delicious.
Absolutely no butter. I know you can make something fascinating without butter.
Okay, no butter. Any other requests, or am I on my own?
Um, just no chicken.
I'm, I'm in the mood for fish. Maybe shellfish.
And you always do such interesting things with pasta.
Oh, please tell me you have grilled prawns tonight.
Honey, let Udo take care of us, okay?
-And of course, you'll pick out the wine as always? -[Udo] Oh, yeah, of course,
I will. But let me get you started with something else,
and I will be right back.
[waiter] Start you off with some champagne, ladies?
-What a night, huh? -[Louis] Mm.
-And it's only half over. -I gotta talk to you.
More money for the kitchen.
Would you excuse us a minute?
Yeah, excuse us, Gary.
-Thanks. -[Gary] Of course.
-[man on radio speaking indistinctly] -Come on!
Shit! You fuckin' suck.
Fuck it, your mother sucks my dick.
I'm workin' my ass off here, and I think it's time
I was more than just an employee.
Top food writer in the city is all over me about it.
Pretty soon I'm just another face in the kitchen.
I understand, but this is, uh, hardly the time to discuss it.
There's never a time with you. I want to be an owner.
I want to be a partner. I deserve it and it's time.
I've only had two partners in my life, and they both died on me.
I can do without any more partners.
-Forget it. I'm not doing this. -Udo!
You know you can't threaten your old man.
You know, sometimes I'd like to take this place back
to what it was when your mother ran it, but we can't, can we?
-[Marti] Anything else from the kitchen, Mr. Cropa? -You want anything?
No, thanks.
Why do you always live in the past?
No past,
no money for school,
no famous chef.
No gangsters on the balcony.
What more do those morons want from you?
They want a piece of the trattoria.
You see, they don't see themselves as gangsters.
Those creeps see themselves as entrepreneurs.
-Yeah, well, tell 'em to get lost. -Enrico already did that.
I'm sorry about that.
Look, uh, you better get downstairs.
Your public is waiting and hungry.
Duncan can handle it.
I gotta hit the head.
It's strange, huh?
Work my whole life to become a chef,
and my father wants somebody else to cook his food.
[man on radio] ...throws it up the floor by Gray. Alone underneath the basket.
Lays it up. Draws the foul! The basket counts.
And that's gonna just about do it.
-And as the buzzer sounds-- -No, no, no!
-Give me! Give me! -[overlapping voices]
[clamoring]
Duncan. Duncan, Duncan!
-It's okay, man. It's okay. -Duncan! Take it easy. Relax.
-Take it easy, all right? -Cálmate, okay?
Cálmate.
-It's okay, man. -Relax.
It's okay! It's okay. It's okay.
It's only a game. Cálmate, man.
[speaks in Spanish] Just calm down, man.
What the fuck are you lookin' at?
-Fuck you looking at? -Yo, that's not okay! It's over with!
Let's go back to work.
[phone ringing]
Yeah?
Yeah.
[diners chattering]
[phone dings]
[speaks in Italian]
[indistinct chatter]
Why do all gangsters hate homos?
I don't mean to bring you bad news,
but there are two thugs at Table 46, and they're asking for you.
You tell 'em to go fuck themselves.
And how exactly do you want me to phrase that, hmm?
"Uh, pardon me, Mr. Black and Mr. Blue,
my sous-chef has an interesting suggestion for you"?
If I was you, I'd just poison the bastards.
Hey, homo, you want somebody to take this shit out?
Gabriel, how long has your neck been missing?
[Gabriel] Eh? I love your suit, man.
[cutlery clinking]
[indistinct chatter]
[man 1 speaking in Italian]
-Hey, where's my Fiorentina? -Forty-six.
[man 2] Twenty-two.
Ooh. F--
-Yo, gorillas, here I come. -Piper.
Harold? Hey, make me another Fiorentina.
-You want me to make it? -Yes!
-Hey, Gabe. -What?
Finish the rest of the sauce.
Where you goin', man?
Where you goin'?
I don't like waiting.
Especially when the chef knows who you are.
And you slept with him!
Honey, a little louder and we'll dance to it.
Well, maybe we'll get noticed. I'm fucking starved.
-Oh, Christ, more champagne. -[waiter indistinct]
Sweetie, are we getting served sometime tonight?
Duncan! Duncan!
Where the hell's Duncan? Gabriel, where's my fuckin' sous-chef?
I don't know. Uh, I need dessert! I need dessert... [stutters]
-Harold, drop what you're doin', get me two lobsters right now. -Two lobsters.
-[Udo] Come on, let's go. -[Gabriel] Tiramisu! Tiramisu.
[jazz music playing over stereo]
[Piper] Steak Fiorentina.
[Paolo] Brilliant. I feel like a fucking king.
-Well, anything else right now? -[Paolo] No.
-Okay. -Paolo, would you stop it with the fucking water?
What do you think, we're Aquaman?
Gary, can I use your phone?
[phone ringing]
Gigino. Buona sera.
Duncan, what are you doing? Where are you?
[mellow music]
-[phone ringing] -[Natalie muffled] Could you get that for me?
My mouth's full.
-Hello? -Uh, hello, Lucy. This is Louis.
-For you, Mom! Mr. Cropa. -Oh.
-Hi. -She'll never call me Louis.
-[Nicole] Hey. -[Duncan] Hey.
What's up?
I...
I don't have $13,000.
$13,000?
-[Duncan] Yeah. -I can't, I can't believe you lost $13,000.
-What are you gonna do, huh? -I don't know.
Well, I guess I just called to see if you were okay.
I'm sorry about earlier.
No, no, you have all the reason in the world to be as angry as you want.
Could you hold on for a minute?
No, no, it's my problem.
-Wha-- What do you mean, it's your problem? -It's my problem.
You can't just run and hide!
[sighs, chuckles]
Good night, my sweet. I love you.
Good night, Mom.
Actually, my biggest problem right now
is putting Lucy to bed.
She has these nightmares.
She's afraid to close her eyes at night.
Can't you go back and talk to them at least?
-You know who I mean? -[chuckling] Yeah.
What do you want me to say to them? "I can't pay you"?
[Natalie] What about you, Lou? How are you sleeping these days?
Not very well.
When you love somebody, you gotta figure out
things together. Right?
Do you love me?
Yeah.
My father was a big boy. He knew what the life was.
There was no life.
[scoffs]
Come on, Lou.
Look, we weren't saints.
We were just two guys
tryin' to make a couple of bucks.
Yeah, you two were a couple of Robin Hoods.
I know that.
If we were part of a family,
the bastards who killed your father would be hangin'
from the Queensboro Bridge right now.
There was no family, no mob.
All an illusion.
Well, it wasn't an illusion to me.
-Natalie-- -Or Lucy.
I never held a real gun in my hand.
I don't think your father did, either.
[siren wailing]
[Duncan grunting]
[siren wailing]
[grunting]
[both moaning]
[groans]
[both moaning]
[Duncan] I think I got a cramp in my leg.
You wanna come by?
[Louis] Sure. Whenever you want.
Tonight?
At this hour?
There's a great chocolate dessert over there,
the one with the almonds?
I could make coffee.
Uh...
Yeah.
Okay, uh...
As soon as I can.
[phone dings]
-Marti? -Yes, sir.
What do they call that new chocolate dessert?
Le cioccolato mandorle.
-Cioccolato... -Mandorle.
Mandorle.
Uh, give me two to take out.
Uh-huh. Would you like me to put the order in right away, Mr. Cropa?
No, about ten minutes, sweetheart. Thank you.
[diners chattering]
Thanks.
[sighs]
Dunc, what the hell are you doin' in my coat?
-Harold, in the office. -I don't even wanna know. I need your help right now.
I gotta make something incredible for Freely.
I need vanilla beans, split and scraped.
Minced shallot. I need some lime juice, champagne.
This is gonna be amazing. Vanilla lobster and sec. Beautiful combination.
-Where'd you come up with the champagne-vanilla? -I had a dream.
["Wack Wack" by The Young Hold Trio]
* Wack *
* Wack, wack *
[singer scatting]
[inaudible chatter]
[chuckles softly]
Hello, Duncan.
La Bistecca Fiorentina... [smacks]
[speaks in Italian]
See you later.
Yo, man. That's a big fuck, man. He came down
like he was gonna eat the whole fucking kitchen, man.
Yo, Duncan. Is he a friend of yours, Duncan? [speaks in Spanish]
["Wack Wack" by The Young Hold Trio continues]
-[Duncan] What about the sauce? Is there any sauce? -Hang on, hang on.
I'll get it ready now, Duncan.
* Wack *
* Wack, wack *
[exclaims] Ah, man, that looks great.
Let's hope she says the same thing next week in print.
Duncan...
...thanks.
I love it when you talk dirty, baby.
[Gabriel speaks in Spanish]
Oops. Hey, Nicky.
D--- Duncan,
-this is Ademir. It is not-- -[Nicole] I'll get it.
Yeah, Duncan, what's up?
I still smell you on my hands right now.
[chuckles]
[Udo] Here we are.
Oh, great. Perfect table.
[Udo] We're gonna make this work.
-Okay, darling, what's in this dish? -[Udo laughs]
This is a Montauk lobster and rock shrimp.
It's in a champagne shallot sauce with vanilla bean,
and it's garnished with salmon caviar and a Tobiko caviar,
which has a wasabi flavor, and some chives.
And no butter.
Enjoy.
I will be back.
-I, I, I-- -[Louis] I don't want to put any emphasis on it or any--
Oh.
-[Drury] Good evening, gentlemen. -Hi, Detective.
This is my wife Ellen.
Louis Cropa. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Drury.
-This is Gary Lieberman. -A pleasure.
-Nice to see you. -So, this is the joint with the buzz, huh?
Wasn't that hard to get a reservation.
Detective, uh, look up in the balcony.
It's crowded.
Just look.
[diners chattering]
I invited 'em
so you can arrest them.
Sweetheart, let's find our table.
No, no, never. You'd never give them up. It's a code.
Ah, you still believe in that shit, don't you?
Excuse my language, Mrs. Drury.
Seems language is the least of it.
[Louis] Enjoy yourselves.
She's feisty, isn't she?
[Gary] She is.
-[Louis] Marti. -Yes, sir.
[Louis] Nicole is seating two people on 38.
Give them a bottle of champagne on me.
-[Marti] Certainly. -[Louis] Thanks, sweetie.
Man, champagne for the cops, dinner for the crooks.
-Something is not right here. -Mm-hmm.
That fellow over there in the corner...
...all the people stoppin' by his table, is he important?
-The owner, father of the chef. -Hmm.
-Nothing more? -No, nothing more.
-Actually, I better go over there. -Okay.
What, what do you really think of those bizarre portraits
hanging so utterly disorganized?
Well, the fact that they're hanging in an Italian restaurant maybe?
This is not the place to show them,
but they're actually very interesting.
-Really? -Yeah, I think they're interesting. I have a--
I, I guess portraiture has gone somewhat legit,
-but I, I always find it so, uh, common. -[Bettina] It is not--
-It's not like that. -No, these are unusual. I like these.
-[Bettina] Yes, I-- -You're being much too kind, Joseph. Are they yours?
-Fitz, you drink too much. -[laughter]
Portraiture today is as much about looking
-as it is about extracting a certain personality. -[Fitzgerald] Well,
it seems that our waitress is an art critic.
No, your waitress is an artist.
Those are my paintings.
More wine?
-[Joseph laughs] -Whoo!
[Udo] How are we doing?
You are a genius, sandman, a fucking genius.
Thank you. I'm sorry it took so long,
but I wanted to make something special.
What did you think?
She's thinking about what's coming next.
So tell me, chef, what is the history behind this, um...
...culinary creation?
Actually, it's a dish my Uncle Enrico used to love.
-Is that Uncle Enrico on the menu? -On the menu? No.
Hey, Ademir, can I have a menu?
On the menu is a picture of my father and his grandfather.
They're playing in the backyard in New Jersey.
Then who's Gigino?
Honey, you're asking way too many questions.
-Will you leave Udo alone, please? -No, no, it's all right.
I get asked a lot of times. It's fine.
My father's real name is Luigi.
"Gigi" is the nickname for that, and "Gigino" is "Little Gigi."
[giggles]
Italians are a little crazy about nicknames, I guess.
I'm gonna have something else sent up in a minute,
and if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask.
-Oh, I won't. -Bye.
Damn, he's cute.
[people chattering]
[clears throat]
How you doin' tonight?
-Hi. -Hi.
What are you drinking?
-Oh, that's a rye and soda. -Rye and soda?
-Would you like one? -Sure. I would love to try it.
Sean? Sean?
-Two-- One... -[Sean] Okay.
What-- What's in a rye and soda? [chuckles]
Well, that's really just, uh, old-fashioned bourbon and soda.
When I think of bourbon, I think of men 55 drinking bourbon.
-I'll be 55 next week. [laughs] -[laughs] No. No, you won't.
-[woman] Sean? Sean? -Thank you.
Hi, guys. Little somethin' from the kitchen.
Thanks.
So you're not afraid to be up here?
Everyone else seems to be.
Well, now, you don't look so tough with that baby face of yours.
Besides, I'm workin' a much rougher table than this.
I hear you guys are brothers-in-law?
[speaks in Italian]
-Which basically means I'm married to his sister. -Ah!
-You got a photo? -A photo?
Excuse me, Marti. That table's all yours.
-I'll just take Fitzgerald's table. -No way. You're crazy.
-I just brought up some peppers. -Marti, please,
-take the table. -Duncan set me up with them.
-Please. -No way. Fitzgerald's my table.
-Good bye. -Oh, fuck. I need a Valium.
Okay.
The bookmaking operation's yours.
So finish your dinner and give my regards to Queens.
And the restaurant?
That's out of the question.
We're not leaving here...
...until we're partners...
...in the food business.
Your boy lost his bet.
He's into us for 13 large.
Reprehensible.
Who is?
Greed is.
I'll give him 15 minutes.
-See how you like that. -Okay.
-It's my first time in here. -I don't believe you.
-No, it is. -I don't believe you. [chuckles]
-I just wandered in. -And why?
-Uh, I was hungry. -[laughs]
Miss? Miss? Please.
I hope I did not insult you before,
but leaving your work hanging out here
for anyone to see is taking quite a risk.
It's kind of like what your chef does every night.
But in his case, he's almost always perfect.
So you hate them.
No, I wouldn't say "hate."
Hate implies passion.
That's something that these, sadly, leave me without.
C-- C-- Could we have another bottle of red
for the people at the end of the table?
-Yeah, right away, sir. -Thank you.
-I don't think, I don't think I-- -[Joseph] What's the matter?
I, I don't know. I don't know whether I... I don't know.
-Why did you make me apologize to her? -[Joseph speaks indistinctly]
-Nicest man in the universe. -Huh? What?
Did I do the wrong thing again?
[speaks in Italian]
Duncan, come on, let's move!
[cutlery clinking]
-Duncan? -What?
Come in here.
-Close the door. -[Duncan] Where you goin'?
You know Udo is up my ass.
He'll wait.
So you had to make that bet, huh?
Yeah. I gave it to somebody else.
Yeah, and you called Carmen and Paolo again,
and you lost again.
I know I lost. I don't need to keep on fuckin' hearin' it
-every fuckin' five minutes. -Oh, oh. What did you say to me?
Louis, I'm your cook in your kitchen.
Whatever I do outside of your kitchen is my fuckin' business.
You're such a degenerate gambler. Listen to yourself.
I told you to cut it out, stop.
And what are you, my father now?
You're scolding me, you're reprimanding me now?
Listen, when I tell you I don't want to take your bet...
...there's a reason.
I know those guys. They'll put you in a wheelchair.
But maybe that's what you need.
I'm fine. I'm handlin' the situation on my own.
You don't have to worry about me.
-I'm not gonna be in a fuckin' wheelchair. -Oh, really?
-Everything's fine? Everything's all right? -Yeah.
You brought 'em in my house.
You brought 'em here in my life.
Carmen and Paolo are upstairs,
and not only are they lookin' for a piece of you,
they're hustling me, too. Me.
I don't understand why you're putting this shit on me.
I didn't bring 'em here. I didn't know they were gonna start some fuckin' war.
-I'm sorry! You want me to say-- -Oh, you're fuckin' sorry? You're sorry?
My friend is dead!
-Dead! -[indistinct chatter]
Twenty-five years, nobody ever got killed!
They wouldn't be around here if it wasn't for you.
It stops here right now.
You're done.
Take this.
-What's that? -It's $13,000.
I want you to pay 'em off right now.
-No-- -No, you can take it...
...and now your ass belongs to me.
If I ever hear you place a bet again,
I'll break your fuckin' legs personally.
If I...
If I could change stuff, I would.
-I'm sorry. -Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry too, and so would I.
Look...
...just take a few days off.
I want to give you some time to think about everything.
[indistinct chatter]
[Udo] I got 200 people upstairs waiting for food.
You wanna get back on the line?
[Louis] Don't mess it up.
No more chances.
Take care of it now.
All right.
-We're out of the veal. -I don't wanna hear it.
All right, I can't take it anymore.
-Take what? -If I can't be in charge of my own kitchen,
I don't want it. I can't have it.
Fine. Fine. Uh...
Do what you want to do.
[stutters] That, that's it? Your way or nothin'?
Is that what I said?
No, you, you don't have to say anything.
There's no give and take with you.
Is that the way you see it?
In, in your words, I fucked up?
Is that-- I, I fucked up?
Well, somebody fucked up.
-[sighs] -Enrico's dead,
Duncan's doin' his best to join him.
Let's face it, this gangster business sucks.
You people are fuckin' ridiculous.
Mm. Judgin' by your folks upstairs, I'd say we're in a dead heat.
[laughing]
I gotta get back to work.
-We're gonna break 250 tonight. -That's great.
Nice way to celebrate.
[gentle music]
Celebrate what?
I'm outta here.
I'm walkin' away.
-What? -The restaurant is yours...
...but, uh, I'll keep a small percentage.
You plan this?
[chuckles] For a long time.
Gary's, uh, got the papers for you to sign.
And, Udo...
...whether you believe it or not...
...I'm proud of you.
For what, bein' able to cook?
Yeah.
For exactly that.
For being able to cook...
...and being able to teach...
...and being able to understand not to follow in your daddy's footsteps.
I wish Mom were here to see this.
[gentle music continues]
-I miss her. -So do I, you know.
-Hmm. Now, she could cook. No, I'm kidding. -[laughs]
I gotta get back.
Okay.
Listen, the round table in the corner,
you're gonna have to give that up.
-That is not part of the deal, boss. -[chuckles softly]
[gentle music continues]
Who are you?
Oh, Mr. Cropa, I'm Harold.
-Are you new here? -Yes, sir.
First time I've seen you. Where the hell you been hiding?
They had me on the salad line.
-You like the job? -Yeah, a lot.
-What's your name? -Harold.
-You Italian? -No, sir.
Oh.
Well, can't have everything, huh? [chuckles]
All right, guys, 47. Let's get--
-Okay, I have to ask you this question. -Mm.
The double stripes.
[laughs]
-What? -Who, who wears double stripes? [laughs]
-Hey, I just got this tie last week. -I'm so sorry,
but double stripes always bother me.
I always think of, uh, men that work on Wall Street.
-Do you work on Wall Street? You work on Wall Street. -I do. I do.
-I always meet the ones that look-- -You're very good.
-You're very sharp. You, you-- -[laughs]
Most people can't tell I work on Wall Street.
-Really? -You know.
-Chef wanted you to taste a few more things, so enjoy. -What?
And the envelope's from Duncan.
He's sorry he couldn't come up yet,
but as you can see it's really busy in here.
Anything else right now?
-This is a no-hurt? -Nothing hurts right now.
Cropa keeps saving this kid's ass.
Too bad.
[speaks in Italian]
You got room for this?
Why not? It's buonissimo. You should eat a little bit.
Look like you're witherin' away to nothin'.
I worry too much.
Miss? Miss?
-What was in that envelope? -I beg your pardon?
The envelope you just gave those guys, what was in it?
You wanna know what's in the veal, chicken, or pasta,
I'll tell you. The envelope, you're on your own.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Look... -[Piper clears throat]
...I'm a detective. I could force you to tell me.
And I'm a Capricorn. You can't force me to do shit.
Talk to my boss.
We go out once every three months.
May we enjoy ourselves?
And, and people wait three months
to get a reservation to eat at this place.
Ellen, I got these too easy.
-They were a gift. -From?
Louis Cropa, the owner.
We are sittin' here on this particular evening
because somebody wants us to be.
[laughs] Phooey.
Martha Wellington.
A beautiful name for an artist.
Am I an artist, Mr. Kamplos, or merely a waitress?
Well, the second you're not sure, it's all over.
You're an artist if you say so.
You're a successful artist--
-If he says so. -Well [inaudible]
I'd hardly consider myself successful, Mr. Fitzgerald.
Oh, let's not get dramatic, Marti.
You're doing pretty terrific here in New York.
Your work is hanging at one of the hottest eateries in town.
Yeah, well, frankly, I won't be happy until my work is hanging
in one of the hottest galleries in town.
-[laughter] -Don't listen to him.
He's just bitter because he can only hang work
that makes money.
-[man] Ooh. -Good for you.
I'm sure that she can understand that a man in my position
needs a really good reason to look at the work of a new artist.
Admit it. It's too risky to encourage young talent.
Slow down, Joseph. I'll leave her my card. She can show me her slides.
We'll see whether she's really an artist or merely a waitress.
Thanks for the thought, Mr. Fitzgerald,
but, uh, I'd rather you leave me a big tip.
I'm poor.
Excuse me.
[chuckles]
[Fitzgerald laughs]
-Mm-hmm. Ah! -[exclaims]
She's always late, but this time, she just never showed up.
[dinner laughs]
-Well, it happens. -It happens all the time.
Right.
So you work on Wall Street. You do what?
A little of this, little of that.
-Investment banking. -Investment banking.
The market.
What should I do with my money?
-Keep it. -[laughs]
Don't start in [inaudible]
Good evening, gentlemen.
Uh, we got enough bread.
Funny.
So, what, you don't have any good Italian restaurants in Queens?
[speaking in Italian]
And pasta fazool to you too, pal.
Oh, so you don't need me to translate?
I think I can figure it out.
Hi.
-Am I making you nervous? -You're making me a little nervous.
-You threw me. Ha. -[laughs]
-I threw you for a loop, huh? -A little bit.
[people laugh]
Ladies, compliments of the chef.
-What is this? -A tagliarini with white truffles.
-[Food Nymph] Mm. Smells delicious. -Delicious.
Enjoy.
Oh, um, listen,
is Udo involved seriously with anyone right now?
Behave yourself.
Come on, you can tell me.
It's not for publication.
Everything is for publication.
Let's just say Udo is involved with everyone.
Now, if you're talkin' seriously, no one but himself.
Excuse me.
Mm. Mm.
-Okay. -This is divine.
Let me see.
Oh, my God.
Mm. Mm, mm, mm.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
-[Fitzgerald] Salud. -[man] Salud.
Salud.
[jazz music playing over stereo]
We'll see you downstairs.
I'll be right down.
I hope you're enjoying yourselves.
The food is divine, even better than the reviews.
-And, uh, thanks for the champagne. -It's my pleasure.
Billy tells me we're your guests tonight,
-and I wanna thank you for that. -Oh, don't even mention it.
I just wanted a New York City policeman
-and his lovely wife to enjoy their night. -[chuckles softly]
-Besides, you never know when you're gonna need a cop. -[laughs]
-Good night. -Good night.
[Detective Drury] Good night.
-Oh, he's a very nice man. -Hmm.
[speaking indistinctly]
[Louis] Vinnie, you takin' her home?
I'll see you, sweetheart. Take care. Get home safe.
[diners chattering]
Thank you.
Mr. Cropa, your chocolate desserts. They look very yummy.
Yummy? I hope Udo doesn't tell you to describe his food as "yummy."
No, sir, it's a description of my very own. Good night.
Nicky.
-[phone ringing] -Yeah.
Duncan's gonna take a short vacation starting tomorrow.
I hope you go with him.
Well, you know, he really needs a therapist.
Yeah, I know,
but he also needs someone he cares for.
Hmm?
Okay.
[chuckles] Why not?
And thanks for everything.
Good night.
Where's the ladies' room?
How should I know? I've never been in here before.
I think it's over there someplace.
Excuse me.
Where the fuck is this guy?
[speaks in Italian]
-How you doin'? -[Paolo] Mm.
-Sorry. -What, do you think I'm waiting all night?
-It's out of order. -I need to use the bathroom.
-Move your leg. -Sorry.
[Ellen exclaims]
[clears throat]
It's all yours.
[water running]
[silenced gunshot]
["Oh What a Night" by The Dells]
* Oh, what a night *
[silenced gunshot]
* To love you, dear *
* Oh, what a night *
-[silenced gunshot] -* To hold you near *
-[silenced gunshot] -* Oh, what a night *
* To squeeze you, dear *
* That's why *
-* I love you so * -[clapping]
* Oh, what a night *
* To love you, dear *
* Oh, what a night *
* To walk you, dear *
* Oh, what a night *
Sorry about that.
* To kiss you, dear... *
-Excuse me. -[Sean] Yeah, what can I get you?
There's a man in the hallway
blocking the way to the ladies' room.
-Could you make-- -That's not me problem, sweetheart.
Excuse me. It's all yours now.
* ...all those things you have told *
* To me *
* The craze in my heart *
* Won't let me forget *
* Your love *
-* Oh, what a night * -[screaming]
* To hold you, dear *
-* Oh, what a night * -[singer vocalizing]
* To hold you near *
* Oh, what a night *
* To squeeze you, dear... *
Move it! Police! Get out of the way!
Get back. Get back! Police!
* ...I love you so... *
Get out of there. Move it, move it.
[man] Somebody got smoked.
Lock the fuckin' doors. Nobody leaves.
God damn it.
[phone rings]
Unbelievable. Only in New York
can you count on a double murder to triple your business.
-You'll be booked solid for a year. -[siren wailing]
You really think so?
[reporter] The bodies of two men shot in the head
at point-blank range were discovered here at this restaurant,
and we're hearing just downstairs
where a New York City police detective was having his dinner.
Two men found shot to death execution-style
in the basement of this trendy Tribeca eatery
are believed to be low-level Queens hoods.
[siren wailing at a distance]
Hi.
[clears throat]
Do I see you later?
-[inhales] No, I have plans. -Oh.
And besides, why do I have the feeling that it's the food nymph's time?
What philosophy predates Plato?
-The Sophists'? -[exclaims]
[Sean] You're going broke.
This thing with Duncan is serious?
Yeah.
Getting there.
We did 263 tonight.
-Perfect. -Wow.
Perfect night, except for the two on the balcony.
Carmen Donnelly and Paolo Macaroni. I'm sorry, Paolo Marconi.
They are the victims in this case so far.
Uh, sources are telling us that this, uh, place doubles
as a bookmaking operation.
Good night.
Good night, star chef.
-I've never seen a dead body before. -It was, it was very strange.
Now, we're hearing that the victims
were members of an organized crime family.
-I, I wouldn't-- I mean, I heard some things-- -I-- It's--
Right here, Duncan, who is the sous-chef here in this restaurant.
Now, Duncan, what do you know about what we're hearing
that this was all about revenge for a prior homicide
in connection with this restaurant?
[muffled radio chatter]
I was cookin', I, you know, I was down. I don't know anything.
-[male reporter] You don't know anything? -[Duncan] I don't, I don't know,
I was-- I mean, I'm the sous-chef, so...
You know, I, I'm, actually, I made, I made the g--
I made the guy a beef Fiorentina, you know,
which I'd-- It's pretty good.
You know, you come by, I'll hook you up, whatever.
Once again, a double murder in Tribeca.
Police have no suspects at this time.
[mellow music]
[car door closes]
-[sighs] Here. -No, it's yours.
That's a, that's a lot more than I expected.
If I was you, Mr. Rolof, I'd, uh, get out of here as soon as possible.
I want you to give that to Sean.
-Tell him it's for gettin' all the answers right. -Sure.
I could've taken care of this out in Queens.
Look at the mess you got now.
-My son can handle it. -[groans]
-Later. -Later.
-That's a cool guy. Works on Wall Street. Mm-hmm. -Mm.
You know, they say...
..."Revenge is a dish best eaten cold."
-Served. -What?
Best served cold.
[Louis] Oh.
["Angel Coming Down" by Nick Woodbridge]
* When your feet aren't on the ground *
* I've been watching over you *
* And I know that it might seem *
* That I don't know what you do *
* In every single town *
* That you may go to *
* And this is never found *
* But you're seeing it through *
* When the night comes 'round *
* All the silence there may be *
* There's a light you found *
* It's your angel *
* It's your angel coming down *
[vocalizing]
* Coming down *
* Every step that you took forwards *
* You went backwards just the same *
* Falling downwards through the sky *
* Silver teardrops fall of pain *
* And I know all of the signs *
* But it seems you want to stay *
* If you fall into my arms *
* I can make it go away *
* When the night comes 'round *
* All the darkness there may be *
* There's a light you found *
* It's your angel *
* It's your angel coming down *
-[chorus vocalizing] -* Angel *
[chorus vocalizing]
* When your feet aren't on the ground *
* I've been watching over you *
* And I know that it might seem *
* That I don't know what you do *
* When the night comes 'round *
* All the darkness there may be *
* There's a light you found *
* It's your angel *
* Angel *
* It's your angel *
* It's your angel coming down *
[chorus vocalizing]
[music fades]