1 00:00:09,336 --> 00:00:12,203 Yo. 2 00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:14,503 - Everything - Everything 3 00:00:14,575 --> 00:00:17,176 - Is everything - Is everything 4 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,870 What is meant to be will be 5 00:00:19,946 --> 00:00:22,312 Word. 6 00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:24,872 - After winter - After winter 7 00:00:24,951 --> 00:00:26,942 - Must come spring - Must come spring 8 00:00:27,019 --> 00:00:30,386 Change, it comes eventually 9 00:00:49,308 --> 00:00:52,106 - Hey there, little Becky. Hey, Tiger. - Hi, Jimmy. 10 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,908 Hi, Mrs. Ross, Mr. Ross. How are you ? 11 00:00:54,981 --> 00:00:57,609 - Deliveries in the back. - Excuse me ? 12 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,742 You heard me. Deliveries in the back. 13 00:00:59,819 --> 00:01:02,083 Why do you think I'm a messenger ? 14 00:01:02,155 --> 00:01:05,283 No, no, no, really. Why do you just... 15 00:01:05,358 --> 00:01:08,259 assume I'm a messenger ? 16 00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:11,262 Is it impossible for me to have a friend that lives here ? 17 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:13,662 Would that be out of the question ? 18 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:18,033 To have an old college chum that lives upstairs... 19 00:01:18,104 --> 00:01:23,041 that I'm comin' by to see just to talk about old times ? 20 00:01:23,109 --> 00:01:26,340 To have a little cocoa ? Would that upset you ? 21 00:01:26,412 --> 00:01:29,210 What's wrong ? I can't have no cocoa ? 22 00:01:29,282 --> 00:01:31,614 I don't look like I like cocoa ? 23 00:01:31,684 --> 00:01:36,383 What's wrong with me just comin' here tryin' to have some cocoa ? 24 00:01:36,455 --> 00:01:39,822 I'm sorry, sir. I just-- I-- Who did you come here to see ? 25 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:43,293 Nobody. Delivery for Charles Wellington. 26 00:01:43,362 --> 00:01:46,126 Deliveries in the back. 27 00:01:46,199 --> 00:01:48,326 Let me tell you that everything is everything 28 00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:50,301 - Look out ! Look out ! - What's up, man ? 29 00:01:50,369 --> 00:01:52,667 Everything is everything 30 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,172 Welcome to Amateur Night at the Apollo. 31 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:58,108 - Y'all ready for a show ? 32 00:02:00,646 --> 00:02:05,106 There's no way we're part of the same place 33 00:02:05,184 --> 00:02:09,177 - We're part of the same time 34 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:13,089 - We both have the same blood 35 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:15,855 We both have the same mind 36 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,953 And time and time 37 00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:21,056 - We've had so much to share 38 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,600 No, no, no, no 39 00:02:22,668 --> 00:02:25,432 I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin' 40 00:02:25,504 --> 00:02:30,271 - And findin' there's nobody there 41 00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:33,801 No, no, no, no way 42 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,348 No, no, no, no way 43 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,218 And you and you and you 44 00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:44,188 You're gonna love me 45 00:02:44,257 --> 00:02:46,191 Oh, yes, you are 46 00:02:48,194 --> 00:02:50,128 Thank you. 47 00:02:50,196 --> 00:02:52,858 Peace. I'm outta here. 48 00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:55,492 Let's hear it, Apollo, for Phil Quon. 49 00:02:55,568 --> 00:02:57,695 - Congratulations, you killed. - Thanks, Booey. 50 00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:59,567 Phil Quon. Show your love. 51 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,971 - They're not gonna boo me off, right ? - Did I say that ? 52 00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:05,067 - I mean, anything could happen. - Yeah, anything could happen, 53 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:08,045 like they invent a new boo that's silent. 54 00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:13,544 What ? Huh ? What ? What are you looking at ? 55 00:03:13,619 --> 00:03:17,248 This girl I met at the Shark Bar last night. I told her to come down. 56 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:21,157 Damn, she's skinny. Until y'all have sex, she just might start a fire. 57 00:03:21,227 --> 00:03:25,163 Our next act is a comedian. How about a hand for Mr. Lance Barton ? 58 00:03:25,231 --> 00:03:29,759 - What is that ? What's with the hat ? - You don't like the hat ? 59 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:32,929 You look like you're gonna tie somebody to the railroad tracks. 60 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:36,941 I need style. Nobody wants to see Lance Barton, bike messenger from Bed-Stuy. 61 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,136 People want to see Lance Barton, comedian. 62 00:03:39,211 --> 00:03:42,180 - What people ? - Lance Barton people. 63 00:03:42,248 --> 00:03:44,944 Lance Barton, everybody. Come on. 64 00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,314 - No boos. - No boos. 65 00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:48,615 - Here comes Booey. - Let's get ready. 66 00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:50,622 Lance Barton, everybody. 67 00:03:51,924 --> 00:03:53,858 Don't touch me, man. 68 00:03:55,661 --> 00:03:58,027 Hey, what's up, Apollo ? 69 00:03:58,097 --> 00:04:00,292 Where'd you get that hat, man ? 70 00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:06,130 - Yeah. Yeah, all right. So, uh-- 71 00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:09,470 How come every time... 72 00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,476 a airplane crash, 73 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:14,479 all they can ever find is the black box ? 74 00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:18,039 Why don't they just make the whole plane out of the black box ? 75 00:04:19,618 --> 00:04:23,520 Yeah. I got roaches. Who here got roaches ? 76 00:04:23,589 --> 00:04:26,717 Everybody got roaches, man. It's Harlem. 77 00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:28,851 Yeah. Yeah, everybody got roaches. 78 00:04:28,928 --> 00:04:32,762 Yeah, man. I got some roaches in my house, man. 79 00:04:32,832 --> 00:04:37,394 Roaches so big, one roach got drafted in the second round. 80 00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,631 Get your ass offstage, Booey. That shit ain't funny. 81 00:04:39,705 --> 00:04:41,798 - Yeah. 82 00:04:41,874 --> 00:04:44,502 - Hey, you suck! 83 00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:47,375 - Come on. Hold it together. 84 00:04:47,446 --> 00:04:51,075 I know this girl so ugly, she had to wear makeup on the radio. 85 00:04:52,618 --> 00:04:54,711 Boo ! 86 00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:12,268 All by myself 87 00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:14,581 Don't wanna be 88 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:18,981 - All by myself - No ! 89 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:23,216 - Ow ! Ow ! Hey ! - Anymore 90 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:28,660 All by myself 91 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,630 You out there with a new hat. You need a new act. 92 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:35,691 Well, if I'm so unfunny, how come you're still my manager ? 93 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:39,227 Lance, you're funny... offstage. 94 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,173 - But onstage, you're, um-- - I'm what ? 95 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:47,475 You're afraid. See, you're afraid of being yourself, and they can tell. 96 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,812 Hey, kid, don't listen to the crowd. 97 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,512 You're one funny man. Phil Quon says so. 98 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,317 - Thanks a lot. - Two more Rheingolds for my man Booey. 99 00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:01,384 You'd be afraid if every time you played the Apollo they booed you off the stage. 100 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:06,398 Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. They shuttin' down the Apollo. 101 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,434 - Get out of here. - Yeah, they just told me. 102 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:12,302 They're building a multiplex or quadri plex or some kind of plex. 103 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,832 And they're gonna do a farewell show with five slots for amateurs. 104 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,845 - That's it. - You got to get me one of those slots. 105 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:25,112 Lance, come on, man. Just let it go. Try someplace else. 106 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,119 I don't wanna try someplace else. 107 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:31,385 As long as I'm Booey at the Apollo, I'm Booey everywhere. 108 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,954 - Where you goin' ? - I'm goin' to the Comic Strip... 109 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:37,929 to work on my material. 110 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,091 Get me that audition, Whitney. 111 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,867 Later, Booey. 112 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,598 Okay, Lance, where are you ? 113 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,201 Right on time. 114 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,308 I gotta work on my set. I gotta get my jokes together. 115 00:06:56,383 --> 00:07:01,548 I gotta go back to the Apollo and not get booed. I gotta work on my act. 116 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,489 Oh, my God! 117 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,332 Oh, I hate this job. 118 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:21,037 - Anybody get that license number ? 119 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:24,441 - Where the hell am I ? - We've been waiting an eternity here. 120 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:27,480 - What ? 121 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,350 - This ain't the Comic Strip. - Take it easy, people. 122 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,944 You'll be dead a long time. You don't have to push. 123 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,422 Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Excuse me. 124 00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:41,291 - Bob Krantz, heart attack. - Yeah. 125 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:45,161 Sid and Ethel Bugler. Our tour bus crashed. 126 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:48,690 - Yep. - Uh, I'm Gina Lovett. 127 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,829 - Mike said he'd put me on the list. - Yep. 128 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,270 - All right. Go ahead. - Thanks. 129 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,333 Tell Mike to stop putting girls on the list. 130 00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,380 Lance ! Lance Barton ! 131 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:03,007 - What is this place ? - This is heaven. 132 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,677 Ah, heaven. I've had this dream before. 133 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:08,186 Is Pac in there ? Yo, tell Pac I'm here. 134 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,951 Hey, hey. I said no. Go to hell. 135 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,958 Mr. Barton ? 136 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,290 - Where are you going ? - I gotta wake up. I got an audition. 137 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,330 - Let me explain. You're not dreaming. - I gotta get to the Comic Strip. 138 00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,490 - Do you know where the "A" train is ? - Mr. Barton ? 139 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:23,161 - Mr. Barton, here's the thing-- - Keyes, what's the problem ? 140 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,000 Oh, Mr. King. No problem, sir. 141 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,042 I have everything under control. 142 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,669 Mr. Barton here was, uh, having a great time. 143 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,873 No, actually, I'm trying to wake myself up. 144 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:38,384 I hate to break it to you, chum, 145 00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,750 You're dead. Capisce ? 146 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,722 - I'm not dead. - Lance, come here. 147 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:47,749 What you're feeling right now is totally normal. 148 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,922 For most people, dying is a real shock to the system. 149 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,931 But, baby, it's gonna get better. 150 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:56,332 - It's heaven, baby. The food is great, 151 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:59,031 the women are beautiful, 152 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:03,008 and the music, Lance-- the music is hot. 153 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,512 Yes, sir, the fun never stops. 154 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,378 That's great, but I'm not dead. 155 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,418 Look, I got an audition coming up that I know I'm gonna make. 156 00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,785 So you guys can just fix whatever mistake you made and get me home. 157 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,723 - Serge. 158 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:23,126 Could you check the list and see when Mr. Barton is arriving ? 159 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,687 Barton, Barton, Barton, Barton. Ah. 160 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,462 Due November 1 7, 2044, 161 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:31,368 6.:30a.m., Eastern Standard Time. 162 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,372 2044 ? 163 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,274 You could've just given me the year. Leave a brother a little doubt. 164 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:41,747 I took him one-tenth of a second before the truck hit. He couldn't have made it. 165 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,749 What am I gonna do with you ? 166 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,785 First, you make Frank Sinatra wait for a table. 167 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,080 He didn't have a jacket. 168 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:50,146 He's Frank Sinatra ! He can wear whatever he wants ! 169 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,384 - You killed me ! You killed me ! - Hey ! Hey ! 170 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,427 - You killed me ! You killed me ! - Hey ! Hey ! Come on. 171 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:58,897 Now, Mr. King has been in charge up here for quite some time. 172 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:02,332 I don't think there's anything he can't handle. 173 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,870 - You guys can fix this, right ? - Lance, look, 174 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,099 I pride myself on being a straight shooter. 175 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:10,302 For guys that lived a bad life, I don't mince words. 176 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,311 I tell them to go to hell, literally. 177 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,405 You, on the other hand, I like you. 178 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,973 You're what you call-- You're very, um-- 179 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,646 You're very, um-- what's the word-- very, um-- 180 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,155 - Funny ? - No. You're spunky. 181 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,249 - Spunky ? What the-- - Spunky. 182 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,318 So here's the story. Your body's gone. 183 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,126 Adios, sayonara, comprende ? 184 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,600 - But I spoke to my boss. - You talked to God ? 185 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:38,729 Yeah. What we can do for you is put you in somebody else's body, 186 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,774 as long as no one knows he's dead yet, okay ? 187 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:46,711 Wait a minute. How am I supposed to do my act in somebody else's body ? 188 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,113 Lance, this is all part of some, like, grand plan. 189 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,481 - Really ? - Yeah, sure. 190 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,487 Anyway, come on. Let's go find you a body. 191 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:17,539 - This one's kind of like a fixer-upper. - I don't think so. 192 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,207 How about this one ? He's physically fit. 193 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,151 - He's got nice pecs. - Big's not funny. 194 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,656 Nobody wants to laugh at a guy who could whip their ass. 195 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,749 - Hey, it's your call. - Hey, Joey. 196 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,317 - Hello. - Hey, Joey, help me. I can't-- 197 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,801 He's perfect. 198 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,568 Picky, picky. Really picky. 199 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,316 Man ! Who lives here ? 200 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,752 Charles Wellington, the 1 5th richest man in America. 201 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,914 He owns sporting teams, cable companies, 202 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,049 health insurance companies, you name it. 203 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,789 Just finished building this high-tech penthouse controlled by supercomputers. 204 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:13,355 If I don't like the body, can I keep the crib ? 205 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,492 Wait a-- How'd you do that ? 206 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,561 I'm a friggin' angel. I can do whatever I want. 207 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,709 - What is it ? 208 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,802 Cocktails, madame. 209 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,814 Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Thank you, Wanda. 210 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:31,578 It's my pleasure, Mrs. Wellington. 211 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,385 - Is that the guy ? - No. 212 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,755 That's Winston Sklar, Wellington's private secretary. 213 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,454 They're waiting for Wellington's body to be discovered. 214 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,530 - What are you talking about ? What ? - They're trying to kill him. 215 00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:49,191 - We gotta do something ! - Thank you, Wanda. 216 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,772 "Thank you, Wanda." 217 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,537 Who the hell she think she is ? You frigid, stuck-up bitch. 218 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:01,306 If you really want to thank me, get that cheap-ass husband of yours... 219 00:13:01,379 --> 00:13:03,472 to pay me a decent wage. 220 00:13:03,548 --> 00:13:07,712 One more face-lift, that bitch gonna be fartin' out her nose. 221 00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,118 Why haven't they found him yet ? 222 00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:13,954 I'm a murderer. I'm a dirty murderer. I should be punished. 223 00:13:17,629 --> 00:13:19,563 Punish me. 224 00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:21,599 Oh, I'll punish you. 225 00:13:22,734 --> 00:13:24,827 - Lance. 226 00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:27,098 Call the cops. Call the cops. Call the cops. 227 00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:29,800 I was on vacation and that Wellington... 228 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,809 flew me in from North Carolina... 229 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,868 - Call the police. Call the cops. - to change the channel on the TV. 230 00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:37,779 - Call the cops. 9-1 -1 . 9-1 -1 . 231 00:13:37,849 --> 00:13:40,477 - You're damn right I was mad ! - Mamacita, nueve, 232 00:13:40,552 --> 00:13:42,486 - I had tickets to go see the O'Jays. - uno, uno. 233 00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:44,488 Nueve, uno, uno. 234 00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:47,286 - Where's the phone ? Where's the phone ? 235 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:50,954 No can do, Lance. The phone company doesn't provide service to dead people. 236 00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:53,429 You wanna make a call, get a body. 237 00:13:53,498 --> 00:13:57,195 Well, find me another body. I don't want anything to do with these freaks. 238 00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:00,932 I am here to see Mr. Wellington, and I'm not leaving until I see him. 239 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,464 -Allow me to speak to Mr. Wellington. - Yes, you let him know I'm here. 240 00:14:05,777 --> 00:14:07,938 - Mr. Sklar, sir ? - Yeah, Cisco ? 241 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:12,347 It's, uh, Miss Jenkins again, sir. She insists on seeing Mr. Wellington. 242 00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:15,875 I'm sorry to bust in like this. Well, actually I'm not. 243 00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:19,117 That's her. That's the girl. 244 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:22,422 Hey, remember me ? 245 00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:25,054 On the bike. Run over ? 246 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,291 No, that's allright, Miss Jenkins. 247 00:14:27,365 --> 00:14:29,356 So, what can we do for you ? 248 00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:32,369 Well, I just wanted to say that I think you should be arrested. 249 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,530 Holy crap. 250 00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:38,007 What you're planning to do to the Brooklyn Community Hospital is criminal. 251 00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:40,340 Oh, so you mean that-- 252 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:44,348 You throw those words around like that. "Arrested." It kind of hit me. 253 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,884 - That really-- Ooh ! 254 00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,420 I don't think there's anything funny about this. 255 00:14:49,487 --> 00:14:51,887 I work at the Brooklyn Community Hospital. 256 00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,517 It's the only public health facility in the area, 257 00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,026 and your company just bought it. 258 00:14:56,094 --> 00:14:58,927 I know that hospital. My uncle went there for a new liver. 259 00:14:58,997 --> 00:15:01,090 They sent his ass to the supermarket. 260 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,726 If this hospital goes private, the people who depend on us... 261 00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,394 won't have any place to turn. 262 00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:07,404 That's awful. I think you should take that up... 263 00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:10,202 with Mr. Wellington at his business office. 264 00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:12,368 I've tried that. I've been there at least 20 times. 265 00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:16,744 I've made 200phone calls, and Mr. Wellington seems to never be in, 266 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:19,443 so I decided to visit him at his home. 267 00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:21,417 He's unavailable, I guarantee you. 268 00:15:21,486 --> 00:15:24,455 If he's unavailable now, I'll just wait here until he is available. 269 00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:28,390 - I'm afraid you can't. - Yes, I can. 270 00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:34,563 Would you like to call the police and have me arrested? 271 00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:38,125 - I'm sure the press'll be interested. - No, no, no. Let's don't. 272 00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:40,398 - Let's don't even-- - I thought so. 273 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:44,272 Hey, King, if I take this Wellington guy's body, 274 00:15:44,342 --> 00:15:46,276 could I help her out ? 275 00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:49,871 - You got the hots for her. - You tryin' to sell me a body, right ? 276 00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:54,811 - Well, let's see it. - Okay. 277 00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:57,354 Would you stop it ? 278 00:15:57,422 --> 00:15:59,720 This ain't Star Trek. I'm used to walking. 279 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,726 Lance Barton, Charles Wellington. 280 00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:11,060 Mr. Wellington, please, don't get up. 281 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,536 Damn, he's dead ! 282 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:16,005 Yep. Nice bathtub. 283 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:19,134 So if I take his body, I'm gonna look like that, right ? 284 00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:21,144 I can't go to the Apollo in that body. 285 00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:24,409 - How can I get laughs lookin' like him? - He looks funny to me. 286 00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:28,816 I already get booed. Do I really need to get beat down on top of it ? 287 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:32,084 You want to meet the girl, you gotta take the body. 288 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,524 Any moment someone'll discover it, and it'll be too late. 289 00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:38,357 Does it have to be for good ? 290 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,762 Could I just be him while you find me a better body ? 291 00:16:40,832 --> 00:16:43,426 - You mean, take the body on loan ? - Mm-hmm. 292 00:16:44,502 --> 00:16:46,436 Normally, I have a problem with that, 293 00:16:46,504 --> 00:16:49,098 but since we, uh, screwed up, 294 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,108 - it's a deal. 295 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,805 Mr. Wellington, there's a Miss Sontee Jenkins here to see you. 296 00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,048 Still bathing, are we ? 297 00:16:59,784 --> 00:17:02,685 We don't want our fingers to go all pruney. 298 00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,994 Hey, it worked ! 299 00:17:13,064 --> 00:17:15,965 What ? You weren't sure it would work ? 300 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,968 Relax, I read the manual. 301 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,638 Hey, I still look like me. 302 00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:23,640 You are you. 303 00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,699 I thought you said I was Wellington. 304 00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:29,076 - You are Wellington. - Well, thanks for clearin' that up. 305 00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:31,308 Look, Lance, to everyone else... 306 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,284 you look like Wellington, you sound like Wellington, 307 00:17:34,352 --> 00:17:36,650 you even smell like Wellington. 308 00:17:36,721 --> 00:17:39,519 But you see yourself. 309 00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,525 Simple, huh ? 310 00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,721 - Mr. Wellington, everything allright ? 311 00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:47,264 Go ahead. You can answer him. Go ahead. 312 00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,926 - Everything's cool. - Not too cool, I hope. 313 00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:53,300 No, everything is all right. 314 00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:57,102 Now, they're gonna see Wellington, not some brother in his clothes. 315 00:17:57,175 --> 00:17:59,541 'Cause I don't feel like gettin' shot today. 316 00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:02,171 - You'll be all right. - All right. 317 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:11,015 So, you the butler ? 318 00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:17,624 Yes, sir. Uh, me-- me the butler. 319 00:18:17,695 --> 00:18:20,596 So you do all the butlerin' around here. 320 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,631 Yes, indeed, sir. 321 00:18:25,703 --> 00:18:27,830 Whose butler are you ? 322 00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,841 Your butler, sir. 323 00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:33,207 You're my butler. 324 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,212 Don't cheat on me, now. 325 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,771 If I see you butlerin' for somebody else, I'm gonna kill him. 326 00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:42,586 And who am I ? 327 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,680 You-- You, sir ? 328 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,089 You Mr. Wellington ? 329 00:18:48,159 --> 00:18:51,560 - Who am I ? - Mr. Wellington. 330 00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:54,723 You're damn right I'm Wellington. Yes ! I got a body ! 331 00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:57,290 I got a body ! I got a body ! 332 00:18:57,368 --> 00:19:01,498 You certainly have. Would you care to get dressed now, sir ? 333 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:04,508 Go ahead, Lance, take that corpse for a spin. 334 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:07,409 So where does he keep-- Where do I keep my clothes ? 335 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,073 In the closet, sir. 336 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:13,140 I'm goin' to the closet. I got a body ! 337 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,152 I got a body ! Let's go to the closet ! 338 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,313 Let's do this ! Peace out ! 339 00:19:17,388 --> 00:19:19,185 Yeah, I'm Wellington ! 340 00:19:19,257 --> 00:19:21,248 I'm Wellington 341 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,294 - I'm Wellington 342 00:19:23,361 --> 00:19:25,295 Yeah. You better recognize. 343 00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:27,854 I know who you are, you cheap bastard. 344 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:31,034 Tiger Woods, y'all. Tiger Woods, y'all. 345 00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:33,036 Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods, y'all. 346 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,765 Hey, Tiger Woods, y'all. 347 00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:40,868 - Hi, darling. - I'll deal with you two later. 348 00:19:48,152 --> 00:19:50,279 How ya doin' ? I'm Charles Wellington, 349 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,789 the 1 5th richest man in America. 350 00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:55,553 - I know who you are. 351 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,857 Would you guys give us some privacy ? 352 00:19:57,929 --> 00:20:00,022 Yeah. Yeah. 353 00:20:01,499 --> 00:20:03,865 That looks uncomfortable. Could I help you out ? 354 00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:07,234 No, I don't need your help. You have been avoiding me for weeks, 355 00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:09,637 and you're gonna listen to exactly what I have to say. 356 00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:13,302 -Me ? -I am talking about people's lives here. 357 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,927 Sick people, poor people. The kind of people you care nothing about. 358 00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:16,916 Sick people, poor people. The kind of people you care nothing about. 359 00:20:16,995 --> 00:20:20,362 These people are going to be in desperate trouble... 360 00:20:20,432 --> 00:20:23,265 ifyou sell them out from the only place they can go when they need help. 361 00:20:23,335 --> 00:20:27,203 See you later, Lance. I'll get Keyes workin' on a new body. Good luck. 362 00:20:27,272 --> 00:20:29,001 - Hey, but-- - But nothing ! 363 00:20:29,074 --> 00:20:32,100 Do you know that we are the only county hospital in that part of Brooklyn ? 364 00:20:32,177 --> 00:20:34,441 And you chose there of all places... 365 00:20:34,513 --> 00:20:37,971 to privatize and kick sick, broke people out on their behinds. 366 00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:41,780 - What kind of man are you ? - It sounds like I'm an asshole. 367 00:20:41,853 --> 00:20:45,380 - You think this is a joke ? - No, I do not think this is a joke. 368 00:20:45,457 --> 00:20:48,858 This is a joke. A prostitute and a card dealer go-- 369 00:20:48,927 --> 00:20:50,827 - Forget it. - You know what ? 370 00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:53,057 I know all about your board of directors meeting on Monday. 371 00:20:53,131 --> 00:20:54,689 Really ? 372 00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:57,894 - The one that's closed to the public. - I'm glad you told me. 373 00:20:57,969 --> 00:21:00,699 Now I gotta get a haircut and maybe buy some Gators. 374 00:21:00,772 --> 00:21:03,400 You better get real serious by then, 'cause I'm gonna be there. 375 00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:05,500 And I'm gonna bring every television camera, 376 00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,478 every news reporter, every microphone I can find. 377 00:21:08,547 --> 00:21:12,176 Fine. We'll make a party of it. I bring some friends, you bring some friends. 378 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,741 We'll get some chips and dip, a deejay. 379 00:21:14,819 --> 00:21:17,083 And we-- You know, we get on this hospital thing. 380 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:20,556 This meeting is over, Mr. Wellington. Good-bye. 381 00:21:20,625 --> 00:21:24,891 Hey, I'm serious. I'm-- I'm not jokin'. I'm-- I'm-- I-- 382 00:21:24,963 --> 00:21:26,828 Is something wrong ? 383 00:21:29,401 --> 00:21:31,335 I lost the keys to the handcuffs. 384 00:21:31,403 --> 00:21:35,840 Didn't your mama tell you to carry an extra handcuff key ? 385 00:21:35,907 --> 00:21:39,206 Okay, okay. You know what ? I'm just playin' with you. 386 00:21:39,277 --> 00:21:42,940 I'm gonna look for the key. It's not up there. 387 00:21:43,014 --> 00:21:44,948 It's not there. 388 00:21:46,451 --> 00:21:48,919 Uh, there it is. Nope. Roach. 389 00:21:48,987 --> 00:21:51,547 There you go. Got it. 390 00:21:53,792 --> 00:21:56,192 You know what I got right here ? 391 00:21:56,261 --> 00:21:58,695 I got your freedom. 392 00:21:58,763 --> 00:22:01,926 I'm just playin'. Let me get it. 393 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,434 Don't worry. Gotcha. 394 00:22:05,704 --> 00:22:08,229 See ? Everything's all right. 395 00:22:10,075 --> 00:22:12,270 Um, thankyou, 396 00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:14,972 bastard. 397 00:22:15,046 --> 00:22:16,980 I was just playin'. 398 00:22:23,521 --> 00:22:26,217 I don't know what happened. I put the pills in his drink. I saw him drink it. 399 00:22:26,291 --> 00:22:28,816 I'll tell you what happened. Ya blew it ! 400 00:22:28,893 --> 00:22:34,331 You ruined us ! You-- You idiot ! You incompetent moron ! 401 00:22:34,399 --> 00:22:36,230 - You bitch. - You retard. 402 00:22:36,301 --> 00:22:38,132 - Rich bitch. - Oh, yeah. 403 00:22:38,203 --> 00:22:40,501 You fat, old bitch. 404 00:22:41,573 --> 00:22:43,507 Now we're talkin'. 405 00:22:46,311 --> 00:22:50,509 - Oh, God. - Oh, yeah. 406 00:22:50,582 --> 00:22:53,676 - Honey, I'm home. 407 00:22:55,153 --> 00:22:58,452 You want to put a little, uh, English right on the top-- 408 00:22:58,523 --> 00:23:01,959 I just want to say that I know y'all tried to kill me. 409 00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:08,761 Darling, that's ridiculous. 410 00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:11,358 From what I hear, I'm kind of an asshole. 411 00:23:11,436 --> 00:23:13,461 So I figure we're even. 412 00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:16,132 I was an asshole, y'all tried to kill me. 413 00:23:16,207 --> 00:23:18,198 - Don't know what you're talkin' about. - Come on. 414 00:23:18,276 --> 00:23:20,335 I know you tried to kill me. 415 00:23:20,412 --> 00:23:22,710 So, let's just move on. 416 00:23:22,781 --> 00:23:26,114 I mean, we're adults. So what ? You tried to kill me. 417 00:23:26,184 --> 00:23:30,348 But we're never gonna have A good relationship till you admit it. 418 00:23:30,422 --> 00:23:32,947 Okay, we tried to kill you. 419 00:23:33,024 --> 00:23:35,822 Gotcha ! Police ! Police, here they are ! 420 00:23:35,894 --> 00:23:38,294 Okay, okay, I'm sorry. 421 00:23:38,363 --> 00:23:41,355 Just playin'. I'm not gonna tell anybody. 422 00:23:41,433 --> 00:23:45,369 But I do need a favor. Do you know how To get in touch with Sontee Jenkins ? 423 00:23:45,437 --> 00:23:48,201 Uh, no, but we can find out. 424 00:23:48,273 --> 00:23:51,242 Should I call our usual problem solvers ? 425 00:23:51,309 --> 00:23:54,870 Maybe if they pay a little visit to her home, she'll change her tune. 426 00:23:54,946 --> 00:23:58,177 Does she have a dog ? We could get her a dog. We could kill it. 427 00:23:58,249 --> 00:24:02,345 Look, I don't have a problem with Sontee Jenkins. I want to ask her out. 428 00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:04,354 - Oh. - Oh, 429 00:24:04,422 --> 00:24:06,356 - Oh. - Charles ! 430 00:24:06,424 --> 00:24:10,656 Don't "oh, Charles" me. You were gettin' ready to have sex on the pool table. 431 00:24:10,729 --> 00:24:12,856 You've got an eight ball in your ass. 432 00:24:12,931 --> 00:24:14,865 Now, there's where you're wrong. 433 00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:18,664 We were just, um-- This isn't level, and we were trying to-- 434 00:24:18,737 --> 00:24:22,070 Do me a favor. Keep waxin' that ass. Keep her off mine. 435 00:24:24,843 --> 00:24:28,335 Waxing it ? What does that mean ? 436 00:24:37,989 --> 00:24:40,048 Mmm ? 437 00:25:30,074 --> 00:25:32,975 How do you get this thing to change channels ? 438 00:25:33,044 --> 00:25:34,978 How do you get MTV ? 439 00:25:35,046 --> 00:25:37,708 How 440 00:25:37,782 --> 00:25:40,979 - Showtime. 441 00:25:41,052 --> 00:25:44,021 - Playboy. 442 00:25:44,088 --> 00:25:46,181 Hey ! 443 00:25:46,257 --> 00:25:48,589 - BET. - Not available. 444 00:25:50,562 --> 00:25:53,190 Not available. 445 00:26:07,111 --> 00:26:09,705 Descending to staff level. 446 00:26:11,449 --> 00:26:14,043 Let me tell you, baking soda'll get that right out. 447 00:26:14,118 --> 00:26:16,712 Does any TV in this house get BET ? 448 00:26:16,788 --> 00:26:19,382 BET, Mr. Wellington ? 449 00:26:19,457 --> 00:26:21,789 You know, BET-- Black Entertainment Television. 450 00:26:21,860 --> 00:26:25,296 No, I know what BET is. 451 00:26:25,363 --> 00:26:27,297 You wanna watch BET ? 452 00:26:27,365 --> 00:26:28,662 Yeah. 453 00:26:32,136 --> 00:26:34,627 Do you guys mind if I went and watched some TV ? 454 00:26:34,706 --> 00:26:36,799 Not at all, Mr. Wellington. 455 00:26:36,875 --> 00:26:40,038 This is your house. Enjoy. 456 00:26:40,111 --> 00:26:42,739 Thanks a lot. Take care. 457 00:26:42,814 --> 00:26:46,306 Thank you, Mr. Wellington, you jungle fever havin' bastard. 458 00:26:46,384 --> 00:26:48,944 What, it's not enough he bosses my ass around upstairs ? 459 00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:51,420 Now he got to come down here and watch my little TV. 460 00:26:51,489 --> 00:26:54,014 I tell you what, if he asks me to change the channel, 461 00:26:54,092 --> 00:26:56,720 I'm gonna cut his ass. 462 00:26:56,794 --> 00:26:58,659 Uh, Wanda ? 463 00:27:00,098 --> 00:27:02,328 Yes, Mr. Wellington ? 464 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,732 You don't like me, do you ? 465 00:27:04,802 --> 00:27:08,636 Oh, no, I like you just fine, sir. 466 00:27:08,706 --> 00:27:12,403 She can't stand your ass. You should hear her all the time. 467 00:27:12,477 --> 00:27:16,379 "l hate Wellington. Boy, I hope he drops dead. 468 00:27:16,447 --> 00:27:18,381 - Mm-hmm. - "Wellington stupido. 469 00:27:18,449 --> 00:27:21,612 -Wellington cheapo. Wellington assholo." -Mmm ? 470 00:27:21,686 --> 00:27:23,620 Sir, it's just disrespectful. 471 00:27:23,688 --> 00:27:26,555 I understand, really. If I was you, I would hate me too. 472 00:27:26,624 --> 00:27:29,252 I tell you what I'm gonna do. Startin' next week, 473 00:27:29,327 --> 00:27:31,761 both of you get a 200%% raise. 474 00:27:33,464 --> 00:27:35,762 Are you happy ? 475 00:27:35,833 --> 00:27:37,767 I'm ecstatic. 476 00:27:37,835 --> 00:27:40,804 Good. Take care. 477 00:27:44,042 --> 00:27:46,875 I'll believe that bullshit when I see my check. 478 00:27:48,514 --> 00:27:51,779 Allright. Here we go now. Come on, baby. 479 00:27:51,851 --> 00:27:56,447 Aw, for Christ's sake. You gotta hit that. It's a wide-open three. 480 00:27:56,522 --> 00:27:58,683 - Come in. 481 00:28:01,794 --> 00:28:03,728 Mr. Wellington, sir. 482 00:28:03,796 --> 00:28:06,321 Anything I can do for you ? I didn't hear the bell. 483 00:28:06,399 --> 00:28:08,731 Is there anybody else in here ? 484 00:28:08,801 --> 00:28:11,793 I don't believe so, sir, no. 485 00:28:11,871 --> 00:28:14,362 You're not from England, are you ? 486 00:28:16,242 --> 00:28:19,769 Uh, of course I am, sir. I'm from-- from London. 487 00:28:19,846 --> 00:28:23,077 I was born in Fulham, sir. A stone's throw from the river Thames. 488 00:28:23,149 --> 00:28:27,051 My father was a gentleman's gentleman, and I am a gentleman's gentleman. 489 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,645 I was right outside the door. I heard you. 490 00:28:29,722 --> 00:28:32,054 I know what you do. You put on this fake accent... 491 00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:34,719 just to make the rich folks feel comfortable. 492 00:28:34,794 --> 00:28:38,161 Pretty good scam. So where are you really from ? 493 00:28:40,233 --> 00:28:43,293 I'm from Scarsdale. Aw, crap. Am I fired ? 494 00:28:46,239 --> 00:28:49,174 Certainly, sir. Would you like me to change the channel? 495 00:28:49,242 --> 00:28:53,144 Drop the accent. "Would you like me to change the--" 496 00:28:53,212 --> 00:28:56,147 Just be yourself. 497 00:28:58,784 --> 00:29:02,413 Okay, uh, do you-- Do you want a beer ? 498 00:29:02,488 --> 00:29:05,616 You know what ? Let me get it. You worked all day. 499 00:29:06,692 --> 00:29:08,626 You got any Rheingolds ? 500 00:29:10,663 --> 00:29:13,962 Okay, and the excitement is building as the second amateur spot... 501 00:29:14,033 --> 00:29:18,026 for the final Apollo show has been awarded to comedian Joe Guy. 502 00:29:18,104 --> 00:29:21,540 Now stay tuned For the Brian McKnight-a-thon. 503 00:29:23,276 --> 00:29:26,268 - Where you goin', uh, sir ? - I gotta go work on my material. 504 00:29:26,345 --> 00:29:30,145 - Where's the nearest subway ? - You wanna take the car ? 505 00:29:37,256 --> 00:29:40,191 - What's up, Snoop ? 506 00:29:40,259 --> 00:29:42,386 With so much drama in the L-B-C 507 00:29:42,461 --> 00:29:45,624 It's kinda hard bein' Snoop D-O-double-G, but I 508 00:29:45,698 --> 00:29:50,465 Keep comin' up with funky-ass shit like every single day 509 00:29:50,536 --> 00:29:54,870 - Rollin' down the street - What's up, museum ? 510 00:29:54,941 --> 00:29:57,603 Sippin' on gin and juice Laid back 511 00:29:57,677 --> 00:30:00,669 With my mind on my money and my money on my mind 512 00:30:00,746 --> 00:30:04,307 - Rollin' down the street - Hello. Yeah ! 513 00:30:04,383 --> 00:30:07,750 - Sippin' on gin and juice - Here it comes ! 514 00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:10,721 With my mind on my money and my money on my mind 515 00:30:10,790 --> 00:30:13,987 - Rollin' down the street - Put up your "W." 516 00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:18,190 Sippin' on gin and juice Laidback 517 00:30:18,264 --> 00:30:20,459 With my mind on my money And my money on my mind 518 00:30:20,533 --> 00:30:22,558 Now that I got me Some Seagram's gin 519 00:30:22,635 --> 00:30:25,365 Everybody got they cups but they ain't chipped in 520 00:30:25,438 --> 00:30:27,702 Now, this types of shit Happens all the time 521 00:30:27,773 --> 00:30:29,707 You've gotta get yours But, fool, I gotta get mine 522 00:30:29,775 --> 00:30:33,176 Everything is fine When you're listenin' to the D-O-G 523 00:30:33,246 --> 00:30:37,444 I got the cultivatin' music that be captivatin' he who listens 524 00:30:37,516 --> 00:30:39,450 Are you ready for more comedy ? 525 00:30:39,518 --> 00:30:44,319 Our next act--you've seen him on TV. You've read about him in the paper. 526 00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:47,223 He just won a spot on the last night of the Apollo. 527 00:30:47,293 --> 00:30:49,420 Give it up for Joe Guy ! 528 00:30:50,863 --> 00:30:53,263 What's up, brother ? Whoo ! 529 00:30:53,332 --> 00:30:55,766 Look at this place. It lookin' fine, boy ! 530 00:30:55,835 --> 00:30:59,566 Got some fine-lookin' sisters in the h-h-house. Except for you, girl. 531 00:30:59,639 --> 00:31:01,573 You sure this is such a great idea ? 532 00:31:01,641 --> 00:31:03,632 - This place does seem a little-- 533 00:31:03,709 --> 00:31:07,201 - A little what ? 534 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,544 It's a little dark in here. 535 00:31:09,615 --> 00:31:11,549 Relax. 536 00:31:11,617 --> 00:31:14,381 These are my people. 537 00:31:14,453 --> 00:31:17,081 And there is no more America. There's no more little towns. 538 00:31:17,156 --> 00:31:19,090 No, no, no. You know what all it is ? 539 00:31:19,158 --> 00:31:21,820 Malls. The whole country is malls. 540 00:31:21,894 --> 00:31:25,386 And every town's got two malls. Every town's got two malls. 541 00:31:25,464 --> 00:31:27,398 That's right. They got the white mall... 542 00:31:27,466 --> 00:31:29,764 and the mall white people used to go to. 543 00:31:29,835 --> 00:31:33,236 That's right. 'Cause there ain't nothin' in the black mall. 544 00:31:33,306 --> 00:31:36,332 They don't got nothin' in the black mall but sneakers and baby clothes. 545 00:31:36,409 --> 00:31:39,845 I guess that's all we doin'-- runnin' and screwin'. 546 00:31:39,912 --> 00:31:42,312 And white people will abandon a mall. That's right. 547 00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:44,975 White people like their black the same way they like their seasoning-- 548 00:31:45,051 --> 00:31:46,609 just a dash. 549 00:31:47,853 --> 00:31:50,185 You go to a white mall, it's all nice. 550 00:31:50,256 --> 00:31:53,783 Everything. The stores are all nice. You got personal shoppers. 551 00:31:53,859 --> 00:31:58,455 You go to a black mall and people say, "Can I help you with the cheap shit ?" 552 00:31:58,531 --> 00:32:02,092 White people get some money, keep it. Stay rich. 553 00:32:02,168 --> 00:32:04,329 Kids get rich. Black people get some money, 554 00:32:04,403 --> 00:32:07,463 it's the countdown to "When this brother gonna go broke ?" 555 00:32:07,540 --> 00:32:09,531 - That's right. 556 00:32:09,608 --> 00:32:12,975 White people die and leave a will. Brother die and leave a bill. 557 00:32:40,706 --> 00:32:43,573 I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine. 558 00:32:43,642 --> 00:32:45,576 Hi, it's Sontee. 559 00:32:45,644 --> 00:32:47,703 Leave me a message. I'll call you back. 560 00:32:47,780 --> 00:32:49,714 Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington here. 561 00:32:49,782 --> 00:32:52,649 The bastard. Remember me ? Anyway, 562 00:32:52,718 --> 00:32:54,811 it was cool havin' you break into my house the other day, 563 00:32:54,887 --> 00:32:58,687 and I was just wonderin' if we can get together and get somethin' to eat. 564 00:32:58,758 --> 00:33:00,749 You know, catch a movie or somethin'. 565 00:33:00,826 --> 00:33:04,387 Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington here. 566 00:33:04,463 --> 00:33:06,590 Hope you like the flowers. 567 00:33:09,168 --> 00:33:11,932 Allright. Give me a call. 568 00:33:12,004 --> 00:33:15,235 - Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington again. 569 00:33:15,307 --> 00:33:17,605 You haven't called me. I was just wonderin'... 570 00:33:17,676 --> 00:33:20,907 if we can get together and catch a movie, maybe a play, somethin'. 571 00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:23,676 Are you there ? 572 00:33:23,749 --> 00:33:25,683 Are you screening this call ? 573 00:33:31,857 --> 00:33:34,018 Okay, I guess you're not there. 574 00:33:34,093 --> 00:33:36,687 Hey, Sontee. 575 00:33:36,762 --> 00:33:39,697 Charles Wellington. Are you there ? 576 00:33:39,765 --> 00:33:41,699 - I know you're there ! 577 00:33:41,767 --> 00:33:43,860 Pick up the phone ! I know you're there ! 578 00:33:43,936 --> 00:33:47,133 Hey, just playin'. Just playin'. 579 00:33:47,206 --> 00:33:49,140 All right. Give me a call, okay ? 580 00:33:54,447 --> 00:33:57,746 Good mornin'. Did you know your answering machine is broken ? 581 00:33:57,817 --> 00:34:00,115 No, it's not broken, but it is full. 582 00:34:00,186 --> 00:34:04,418 - What are you doin' here ? - I was just in the neighborhood. 583 00:34:04,490 --> 00:34:06,424 Oh, you were in Brooklyn. 584 00:34:06,492 --> 00:34:08,892 What were you doin', shuttin' down some old folks home ? 585 00:34:08,961 --> 00:34:10,895 Don't be so mean. I thought maybe we could... 586 00:34:10,963 --> 00:34:13,488 get in the Rolls and go by the Four Seasons, 587 00:34:13,566 --> 00:34:15,796 have a little brunch, discuss this whole hospital thing. 588 00:34:15,868 --> 00:34:20,100 Oh, so you're trying to impress me with the car and the money. 589 00:34:20,172 --> 00:34:22,106 You think I'm some video ho ? 590 00:34:22,174 --> 00:34:25,371 Look, I really don't care what you have, okay ? 591 00:34:25,444 --> 00:34:28,675 Ifyou want to impress me, do it at the board meeting on Monday. 592 00:34:28,747 --> 00:34:31,341 I thought maybe we could spend some time together. 593 00:34:31,417 --> 00:34:33,977 Why don't you spend a little time and do something positive with your money ? 594 00:34:39,825 --> 00:34:41,656 That was brutal. 595 00:34:41,727 --> 00:34:43,786 You got a nice touch with the ladies. 596 00:34:43,863 --> 00:34:47,629 I can't get a girl in this body, and I definitely can't get any laughs. 597 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:50,328 - Have you found me anything yet ? - I'm workin' on it. 598 00:34:50,402 --> 00:34:52,336 I was just in Havana. You want one ? 599 00:34:52,404 --> 00:34:56,431 No, I don't want one. What I want from you is a body that works. 600 00:34:56,509 --> 00:34:58,534 I want a body, and I want it now ! 601 00:34:58,611 --> 00:35:02,103 What, are you gettin' tough with me ? I'm a friggin' angel. 602 00:35:02,181 --> 00:35:04,911 You don't want to be in heaven, you don't like it here. 603 00:35:04,984 --> 00:35:07,646 - There is a third option, you know. - I'm sorry. 604 00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:10,120 I'm sorry. I just need a body. 605 00:35:10,189 --> 00:35:14,626 You know what ? There's a big rap concert in the Bronx tonight. 606 00:35:14,693 --> 00:35:16,718 Somebody's gonna die. 607 00:35:16,795 --> 00:35:18,956 Hey, don't forget about me. 608 00:35:19,031 --> 00:35:21,693 Go to the rap concert. 609 00:35:21,767 --> 00:35:24,099 - It's over between you and me. 610 00:35:24,169 --> 00:35:26,603 - I can't do this anymore. - Let's just get out of here. 611 00:35:26,672 --> 00:35:30,164 We could take the plane. We could go someplace he'll never find us. 612 00:35:30,242 --> 00:35:32,608 Chechnya, East Timor. It'll be fun. 613 00:35:32,678 --> 00:35:34,737 No, I can't. 614 00:35:34,813 --> 00:35:37,714 I mean, after all, he is my husband, 615 00:35:37,783 --> 00:35:39,717 and I love him. 616 00:35:39,785 --> 00:35:43,221 And I'm gonna do whatever I can to get him back. 617 00:35:47,159 --> 00:35:49,855 That's sweet, Winston, 618 00:35:49,929 --> 00:35:51,954 but it's too late. 619 00:35:53,897 --> 00:35:57,628 We cannot allow Wellco to take over! 620 00:35:57,701 --> 00:35:59,566 I just think this is an extremely bad time... 621 00:35:59,636 --> 00:36:01,729 to be making a personal appearance. 622 00:36:01,805 --> 00:36:04,672 I've been lookin' into this hospital thing, 623 00:36:04,741 --> 00:36:06,971 and I think Sontee Jenkins had a point-- 624 00:36:07,043 --> 00:36:09,238 Let's just handle this the usual way, okay ? 625 00:36:09,312 --> 00:36:11,974 You do the strong, silent thing. I'll field all the questions. 626 00:36:12,048 --> 00:36:16,246 I'm the velvet glove. You're the iron fist. I won't let you down. 627 00:36:16,319 --> 00:36:18,412 - We can't have that. - No ! 628 00:36:18,488 --> 00:36:22,481 There's one man that's responsible for all this-- Charles Wellington. 629 00:36:22,559 --> 00:36:24,390 - You're a bad man ! 630 00:36:26,463 --> 00:36:28,761 Get outta here ! 631 00:36:28,832 --> 00:36:31,130 Leave our hospital alone ! 632 00:36:31,201 --> 00:36:33,829 - Scumbag ! - White oppressor ! 633 00:36:33,903 --> 00:36:37,430 Mr. Wellington, now that you own Brooklyn Community Hospital, 634 00:36:37,507 --> 00:36:39,372 are you gonna be sending those without health insurance... 635 00:36:39,442 --> 00:36:41,876 to public facilities outside their own community ? 636 00:36:41,945 --> 00:36:45,210 - Yeah, asshole ! - Mr. Wellington doesn't have time... 637 00:36:45,281 --> 00:36:47,272 to answer any questions right now. 638 00:36:47,350 --> 00:36:49,841 Let me address that. I don't care what you got. 639 00:36:49,919 --> 00:36:54,549 Cancer, rickets, polio, swine flu, the clap, dandruff-- 640 00:36:54,624 --> 00:36:56,592 - What else you got ? - Lyme disease. 641 00:36:56,659 --> 00:37:00,151 Lyme disease, lemon disease. It don't matter. We'll take you. 642 00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:03,165 - Liar! 643 00:37:03,233 --> 00:37:05,793 - Won't take you. - Mr. Wellington, is the-- 644 00:37:05,869 --> 00:37:07,860 - Thank you. Thank you all. 645 00:37:07,937 --> 00:37:09,871 Well, here they are, Mr. Wellington, 646 00:37:09,939 --> 00:37:12,533 the faces that you were too much of a coward to confront. 647 00:37:12,609 --> 00:37:14,543 So what do you have to say to them ? 648 00:37:14,611 --> 00:37:16,806 Hey, what's up, Wheelie ? 649 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,610 Crutchie Crutch, how you doin', man ? 650 00:37:19,682 --> 00:37:23,448 Hey, Big I.V. Save me a sip. I want a sip, now. 651 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,454 I know what's wrong with you. 652 00:37:25,522 --> 00:37:29,219 Your breath is destroying the environment. 653 00:37:29,292 --> 00:37:33,194 Why don't you tell them that you don't care about them ? 654 00:37:33,263 --> 00:37:37,063 While you're at it, how come you locked the staff and press out of this meeting? 655 00:37:37,133 --> 00:37:40,068 You know what ? I must've been out of my mind. 656 00:37:40,136 --> 00:37:42,730 Was I takin' ecstasy that day ? 657 00:37:42,806 --> 00:37:45,832 We goin' in there. Sklar, grab a stretcher. 658 00:37:45,909 --> 00:37:48,241 - We're goin' in. Everybody. - Allright! 659 00:37:48,311 --> 00:37:50,404 Ifyou can walk, let's walk. 660 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,971 Ifyou can't walk, it's time to roll. 661 00:37:53,049 --> 00:37:55,950 Ifyou got crutches, then crutch your ass in there. 662 00:37:56,019 --> 00:37:59,420 We are goin' in. Come on, Big I.V. Let's do this. 663 00:37:59,489 --> 00:38:02,219 - Whoo. Sorry, brother. 664 00:38:02,292 --> 00:38:05,853 Can we get some more juice For Big I.V. ? 665 00:38:07,163 --> 00:38:09,631 Hey, guys, I brought us some friends from the media. 666 00:38:09,699 --> 00:38:11,758 So if anybody is not where they're supposed to be... 667 00:38:11,835 --> 00:38:13,826 or with somebody they're not supposed to be with... 668 00:38:13,903 --> 00:38:17,361 or got a little crust in their eyes, you might want to get up right now. 669 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:21,137 You can't bring news cameras into the boardroom. 670 00:38:21,211 --> 00:38:23,145 Hey, relax. We got nothing to hide. 671 00:38:23,213 --> 00:38:25,977 If there's not enough seats, you can just sit on somebody's lap, 672 00:38:26,049 --> 00:38:28,142 unless the person next to you don't got a lap. 673 00:38:28,218 --> 00:38:31,278 So, what's up ? 674 00:38:31,354 --> 00:38:34,448 Mr. Wellington, At your hospital in Kentucky, 675 00:38:34,524 --> 00:38:37,891 a teenager with a bullet wound to his head was sent to another hospital... 676 00:38:37,961 --> 00:38:40,156 15miles away, dying en route. 677 00:38:40,230 --> 00:38:43,097 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hospitals don't kill people. 678 00:38:43,166 --> 00:38:46,158 - People kill people. - What kind of cold-ass shit is that ? 679 00:38:46,236 --> 00:38:49,137 We can't be sendin' people out with bullet wounds to their head. 680 00:38:49,205 --> 00:38:51,730 That's somethin' you definitely have to take serious. 681 00:38:51,808 --> 00:38:54,003 From now on, we got a new slogan. 682 00:38:54,077 --> 00:38:56,511 "Shot in the head, you get a bed." Okay ? 683 00:38:56,579 --> 00:38:59,070 "If your head is bloody, 684 00:38:59,148 --> 00:39:02,549 I want bullet wounds in this place to be treated like cash-- 685 00:39:02,619 --> 00:39:04,644 accepted everywhere. 686 00:39:06,222 --> 00:39:08,690 But not without adequate insurance. 687 00:39:08,758 --> 00:39:10,817 "Not without adequate insurance." 688 00:39:10,894 --> 00:39:12,725 Is insurance really adequate ? 689 00:39:12,795 --> 00:39:16,026 When you pay for insurance, do you feel assured ? 690 00:39:16,099 --> 00:39:18,226 They shouldn't even Call it insurance. 691 00:39:18,301 --> 00:39:20,166 They should just call it "in case shit." 692 00:39:20,236 --> 00:39:23,728 I give a company some money in case shit happens. 693 00:39:23,806 --> 00:39:27,105 Now, if shit don't happen, shouldn't I get my money back ? 694 00:39:27,176 --> 00:39:29,110 - Wouldn't that be fair ? 695 00:39:29,178 --> 00:39:32,909 If I had known y'all was gonna keep the money, I would've got in an accident. 696 00:39:32,982 --> 00:39:35,075 And if you're gonna take my money, 697 00:39:35,151 --> 00:39:38,177 at least spend the money on some poor, sick people. 698 00:39:38,254 --> 00:39:41,018 Don't take my money and buy a Mercedes-Benz... 699 00:39:41,090 --> 00:39:43,558 and park it in front of Brooklyn Hospital... 700 00:39:43,626 --> 00:39:46,220 with all these broke people gotta walk by it. 701 00:39:46,296 --> 00:39:50,392 I just got off the B-44 bus, and I got to look at your Mercedes-Benz ? 702 00:39:50,466 --> 00:39:53,526 - I should just stab the tire ! 703 00:39:53,603 --> 00:39:55,696 And why do doctors cost so much ? 704 00:39:55,772 --> 00:39:58,240 Do you know ? Shut the hell up ! 705 00:39:58,308 --> 00:40:03,177 It's like doctors chargin' all this money for a triple bypass surgery. 706 00:40:03,246 --> 00:40:08,206 Triple bypass surgery gonna charge somebody $100,000... 707 00:40:08,284 --> 00:40:11,378 and then got the nerve to say, "Take it easy." 708 00:40:11,454 --> 00:40:15,083 Shit, I gotta go get a job right now drivin' another cab or somethin'... 709 00:40:15,158 --> 00:40:17,092 just to pay off the damn doctor ! 710 00:40:18,895 --> 00:40:21,363 From now on, we have to be different. 711 00:40:21,431 --> 00:40:25,094 Let's see how it feels to not be the evil corporation anymore. 712 00:40:25,168 --> 00:40:28,865 Let's try takin' in people bleedin' with bullet wounds to the head. 713 00:40:28,938 --> 00:40:30,872 Let's just try it for a change. 714 00:40:30,940 --> 00:40:33,306 I mean, we tried the other way. We made a lot of money. 715 00:40:33,376 --> 00:40:35,310 We got paid. We got laid. 716 00:40:35,378 --> 00:40:38,245 And so what if we lose a few million dollars ? 717 00:40:38,314 --> 00:40:41,647 Now, a lot of y'all Look pretty pissed off. 718 00:40:41,718 --> 00:40:43,686 Look like y'all want to get froggy. 719 00:40:43,753 --> 00:40:45,914 - Well, come on ! 720 00:40:45,989 --> 00:40:47,923 What you gonna do ? Uh-uh. 721 00:40:47,991 --> 00:40:50,255 You see this foot ? You see this foot ? 722 00:40:50,326 --> 00:40:53,853 It's from a little town called "Rich Man's Ass," and it's gettin' homesick. 723 00:40:55,565 --> 00:40:59,194 You guys have been great. You've been a lovely audience. 724 00:40:59,268 --> 00:41:01,259 I want to thank y'all for showin' up. 725 00:41:01,337 --> 00:41:03,862 Drive home safely. Tip your waitresses. 726 00:41:03,940 --> 00:41:07,103 - I gots to go. Take care. 727 00:41:07,176 --> 00:41:09,872 - Thanks a lot. Thank you. - Mr. Wellington ? 728 00:41:09,946 --> 00:41:11,504 Pardon me. Nice shirt. 729 00:41:16,219 --> 00:41:18,312 Hey, Chuck. 730 00:41:18,388 --> 00:41:21,824 Look, l-l-l feel like I haven't been tending to your needs, 731 00:41:21,891 --> 00:41:24,121 but I wanna make it up to you. 732 00:41:24,193 --> 00:41:27,822 I know your biggest fantasy has always been a menage a trois. 733 00:41:27,897 --> 00:41:31,628 And you've always had a thing For Blanche from the club. 734 00:41:32,735 --> 00:41:34,669 Hi, Chuck. 735 00:41:36,205 --> 00:41:38,400 How'd you like to come over here and taste me ? 736 00:41:44,714 --> 00:41:47,239 Oh, sir, the, uh, Handcuff lady's here. 737 00:41:47,316 --> 00:41:49,011 Sontee ? 738 00:41:53,823 --> 00:41:55,757 Mr. Wellington. 739 00:41:55,825 --> 00:41:56,849 Descending from second floor. 740 00:41:56,926 --> 00:41:59,292 You know what ? Just call me Lance. 741 00:41:59,362 --> 00:42:01,296 I thought your name was Charles. 742 00:42:01,364 --> 00:42:03,889 Yeah, but Charles is short for Lance. 743 00:42:03,966 --> 00:42:05,900 Charles is a maiden name. 744 00:42:05,968 --> 00:42:08,766 Okay, Lance. 745 00:42:08,838 --> 00:42:11,136 Uh, I just came to say I'm sorry. 746 00:42:11,207 --> 00:42:15,576 I know I said a lot of bad things about you, but you kept brushing me off. 747 00:42:15,645 --> 00:42:19,046 Ifyou meant all those things you said at the board meeting-- It was so great. 748 00:42:19,115 --> 00:42:22,551 Are you hungry ? I'm sorry To jump in, but are you hungry ? 749 00:42:22,618 --> 00:42:26,076 You gotta be hungry. You've been workin' all day. 750 00:42:26,155 --> 00:42:29,716 I know you were out there marchin', and you got your picket sign, 751 00:42:29,792 --> 00:42:32,784 and AI Sharpton's there, and he ate all the food. 752 00:42:32,862 --> 00:42:35,524 - You wanna get somethin' to eat ? - Uh, no. 753 00:42:35,598 --> 00:42:38,362 - I don't think I should. - Come on. 754 00:42:38,434 --> 00:42:40,698 I'm not tryin' to impress you. 755 00:42:40,770 --> 00:42:42,863 I swear, I am not tryin' to impress you. 756 00:42:42,939 --> 00:42:44,930 I-l just want to feed you. 757 00:42:45,007 --> 00:42:48,067 That's all. We don't even have to drive. 758 00:42:48,144 --> 00:42:51,910 We can walk. We can skip. You wanna skip to a meal ? 759 00:42:53,850 --> 00:42:55,784 I guess I am hungry. 760 00:42:55,852 --> 00:42:58,047 Come on. Let's go. 761 00:43:08,965 --> 00:43:11,433 What's the matter? You don't like this place ? 762 00:43:11,501 --> 00:43:14,265 - No, I am just surprised. - What ? 763 00:43:14,337 --> 00:43:18,501 - I didn't always have money. - Yeah, right. 764 00:43:18,574 --> 00:43:20,508 You know how you visit people in the hospital ? 765 00:43:20,576 --> 00:43:23,807 I used to go to store windows and visit clothes I had on layaway. 766 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,940 "Used to" ? I was just visitin' a pair of shoes last week. 767 00:43:27,016 --> 00:43:32,545 I remember this one time, I put a coat on layaway in, I don't know, September. 768 00:43:32,622 --> 00:43:34,556 I figured I'd get it out in the winter. 769 00:43:34,624 --> 00:43:37,531 Money got low. Couldn't get the damn thing out till June. 770 00:43:37,665 --> 00:43:39,565 So what'd you do ? Wait till next winter to wear it ? 771 00:43:39,633 --> 00:43:43,262 For a coat I just paid for ? Please. I wore that coat the whole summer. 772 00:43:43,337 --> 00:43:47,239 July 4th, I was on the beach with a goose down and a pair of shorts. 773 00:43:47,308 --> 00:43:49,640 - Stop playin'. - I'm not playin'. 774 00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:52,577 Sweatin'. Just drown-- Just drippin' sweat. Slippin'. 775 00:43:54,148 --> 00:43:57,515 To this day, when I want to lose some weight, I just put on a hot coat. 776 00:43:57,585 --> 00:43:59,485 That's how Ruff Ryders roll 777 00:43:59,553 --> 00:44:02,249 - Stop, drop 778 00:44:02,323 --> 00:44:04,689 Shut 'em down Open up shop 779 00:44:04,758 --> 00:44:07,989 - Oh, no 780 00:44:08,062 --> 00:44:10,530 That's how Ruff Ryders roll 781 00:44:10,598 --> 00:44:13,260 Stop, drop 782 00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:15,825 Shut 'em down Open up shop 783 00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:18,531 Oh, no 784 00:44:18,606 --> 00:44:21,871 That's how Ruff Ryders roll Niggas wanna try 785 00:44:21,942 --> 00:44:24,638 - Niggas wanna lie, niggas wonder why - What, what 786 00:44:24,712 --> 00:44:27,044 Niggas wanna die All I feel is pain 787 00:44:27,114 --> 00:44:28,775 - All I feel is rain - What 788 00:44:28,849 --> 00:44:31,511 - How can I maintain - What, what 789 00:44:31,585 --> 00:44:34,486 I resort to violence My niggas move in silence 790 00:44:34,555 --> 00:44:36,955 - Like you don't know our style - What 791 00:44:37,024 --> 00:44:39,322 - Yo, dog. - What 792 00:44:39,393 --> 00:44:41,327 - Took it, then we split it 793 00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:48,960 - Are you okay ? - Yeah, I'm okay. 794 00:44:49,036 --> 00:44:52,130 - Hey ! - Have you lost your mind ? 795 00:44:52,206 --> 00:44:55,972 - I forgot who I was. - You forgot who you were ? 796 00:44:56,043 --> 00:44:59,410 I just like the song. DMX. "Ruff Ryders." 797 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,075 What if I was singing, "Whities wanna die, Whities can't try" ? 798 00:45:03,150 --> 00:45:06,347 - Might get a record deal. 799 00:45:08,422 --> 00:45:11,516 You know, I don't believe you. You're somethin' else. 800 00:45:11,592 --> 00:45:15,688 I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect this. 801 00:45:15,763 --> 00:45:18,231 There's somethin' About your eyes. 802 00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:22,099 When I look at you, it's like I see somebody else inside you. 803 00:45:22,169 --> 00:45:24,296 You know, even when I was tryin' to be mad at you, 804 00:45:24,371 --> 00:45:27,670 I just can't help but see somethin' else. 805 00:45:27,741 --> 00:45:29,800 Sounds crazy, huh ? 806 00:45:29,877 --> 00:45:32,778 No, it's-- it's not crazy. 807 00:45:32,846 --> 00:45:35,906 It's-- It's not crazy. 808 00:45:37,785 --> 00:45:40,720 - Some date, huh ? - Date ? 809 00:45:40,788 --> 00:45:43,814 Oh, I thought you were just tryin' to feed me. 810 00:45:43,891 --> 00:45:46,724 I was till I got my ass whopped. 811 00:45:46,794 --> 00:45:50,252 That guy punched me like I owed him child support. 812 00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:54,734 I picture that I can read your mind 813 00:45:56,870 --> 00:46:02,137 - Tell you everything is going good 814 00:46:03,510 --> 00:46:05,171 See, I been waitin' All my life 815 00:46:05,246 --> 00:46:08,272 For someone just like you 816 00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:12,979 And I know you've been waiting too 817 00:46:13,053 --> 00:46:14,748 For someone to love you 818 00:46:14,822 --> 00:46:18,781 All you need is someone who cares 819 00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,952 For someone to love you 820 00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:24,623 - Someone who will always be there 821 00:46:24,698 --> 00:46:28,190 Well, that was different than what I thought it would be. 822 00:46:28,269 --> 00:46:31,705 Different good or different weird ? 823 00:46:31,772 --> 00:46:33,763 It was a little bit of both, I think. 824 00:46:33,841 --> 00:46:36,002 I guess you just didn't seem like my type. 825 00:46:36,076 --> 00:46:39,068 Not your type. So, uh, what's your type look like ? 826 00:46:39,146 --> 00:46:43,082 It's not all about looks. I mean, you don't have to be fine or anything. 827 00:46:43,150 --> 00:46:45,618 I just kind of like a guy with all of his teeth. 828 00:46:45,686 --> 00:46:47,847 Well, that's a good rule. That's a good rule. 829 00:46:47,921 --> 00:46:52,153 I like a slim guy. A guy with a goatee. 830 00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:54,353 Nice eyes. And he's gotta be funny. 831 00:46:54,428 --> 00:46:56,419 Hmm. 832 00:46:56,497 --> 00:46:58,590 I guess I don't have a chance. 833 00:46:58,666 --> 00:47:00,759 - What's your type ? - My type ? 834 00:47:00,834 --> 00:47:04,429 I like my women same way I like my coffee-- 835 00:47:04,505 --> 00:47:06,439 Puerto Rican. 836 00:47:06,507 --> 00:47:09,271 -Just playin'. Just playin'. - You watch it. 837 00:47:10,344 --> 00:47:12,642 Oh, boy, here we are. 838 00:47:12,713 --> 00:47:14,647 So, can I call you ? 839 00:47:15,816 --> 00:47:17,977 Well, let me ask you somethin'. 840 00:47:18,052 --> 00:47:19,917 All that stuff you were sayin' at the hospital, 841 00:47:19,987 --> 00:47:21,818 were you just tryin' to get with me ? 842 00:47:21,889 --> 00:47:23,823 At first, yeah. 843 00:47:23,891 --> 00:47:25,950 Yeah, that's all I could think about. 844 00:47:26,026 --> 00:47:29,689 Then I remembered what you said. "Do somethin' positive with your money." 845 00:47:29,763 --> 00:47:34,132 So I figure, you know, I'm in this body, I might as well help. 846 00:47:34,201 --> 00:47:36,669 I mean, if I get with you, great. 847 00:47:36,737 --> 00:47:40,173 But if not, at least somebody'll be happy. 848 00:47:43,911 --> 00:47:46,607 You know what ? l-l better go. 849 00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:50,343 Yeah. I guess I better be goin' too. 850 00:47:50,417 --> 00:47:53,318 Yeah. I wonder who the Knicks played. 851 00:47:53,387 --> 00:47:57,585 I think they played the Lakers or somebody-- 852 00:48:01,095 --> 00:48:03,029 I'm sorry. 853 00:48:03,097 --> 00:48:05,531 I'm sorry. W-Was I wrong ? 854 00:48:05,599 --> 00:48:08,932 No, it's-- I knew you were gonna try to kiss me tonight, 855 00:48:09,002 --> 00:48:10,936 and I thought I'd be mad, 856 00:48:11,004 --> 00:48:12,938 but I'm not. 857 00:48:13,006 --> 00:48:15,531 It's-- It's somethin' about your eyes. 858 00:48:15,609 --> 00:48:18,271 You know, the first kiss... 859 00:48:18,345 --> 00:48:20,575 is always in the middle of a sentence. 860 00:48:20,647 --> 00:48:23,309 It's always like, "Yeah, tomorrow I'm gonna go to the zoo, 861 00:48:23,384 --> 00:48:26,046 because I got this whole thing with orangutans, and I just--" 862 00:48:28,889 --> 00:48:30,550 Or... 863 00:48:30,624 --> 00:48:34,082 it could be like, um, "Did you hear about that new war in Russia ? 864 00:48:34,161 --> 00:48:36,254 I heard they were gonna--" 865 00:48:41,568 --> 00:48:44,731 So I can call you, right ? I mean, just to talk. 866 00:48:44,805 --> 00:48:48,366 No nasty talk or anything. Unless that's what you're into, then, hey ! 867 00:48:49,810 --> 00:48:51,744 Good night. 868 00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:01,654 Yes ! Yes ! 869 00:49:01,722 --> 00:49:04,885 - Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! 870 00:49:07,895 --> 00:49:09,829 - My baby ! My baby ! - Yes ! 871 00:49:09,897 --> 00:49:11,831 - Oh ! - Yes ! Yes ! 872 00:49:11,899 --> 00:49:13,833 Yes, yes ! 873 00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,443 - Yes ! Yes ! Yes, yes ! 874 00:49:24,511 --> 00:49:28,845 Oh, no That's how Ruff Ryders roll 875 00:49:28,916 --> 00:49:31,612 - Niggas wanna try, niggas wanna lie - What, what 876 00:49:31,685 --> 00:49:34,483 Then niggas wonder why niggas wanna die 877 00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:36,989 Yes ! Yes ! 878 00:49:54,942 --> 00:49:56,910 - Get off my foot, bitch ! 879 00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:13,116 - Okay, let's go. - Hey ! Don't sneak up on me like that. 880 00:50:13,193 --> 00:50:14,990 What are you, The Great Gazoo ? 881 00:50:15,062 --> 00:50:18,190 Sorry. Hi. How are you ? I got a new body for you. 882 00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:21,166 I don't need the body anymore. This one's just fine. 883 00:50:21,235 --> 00:50:25,865 We have about one minute to get you into this truly fabulous corpse. 884 00:50:25,939 --> 00:50:27,964 Hey, I'm cool with Wellington. 885 00:50:28,041 --> 00:50:30,874 You know why ? 'Cause Sontee's cool with Wellington. 886 00:50:30,944 --> 00:50:34,903 I just waited through Ol' Dirty Bastard, Mystikal and Silkk the Shocker for you. 887 00:50:34,982 --> 00:50:37,473 Keeping this body is not an option, 888 00:50:37,551 --> 00:50:39,109 regardless of whether you're smitten with some girl. 889 00:50:39,186 --> 00:50:41,552 It's not some girl. It's the girl. 890 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:44,591 I mean, you got heaven, But you don't got this, man. 891 00:50:44,658 --> 00:50:46,592 She's fine. She's smart. 892 00:50:46,660 --> 00:50:48,787 We like all the same stuff. We hate all the same stuff. 893 00:50:48,862 --> 00:50:50,989 She laughs at my stupid jokes. 894 00:50:51,064 --> 00:50:53,828 And I don't have to censor myself around her. 895 00:50:53,901 --> 00:50:57,894 But you know what ? She only knows me as this guy Wellington. 896 00:50:57,971 --> 00:51:00,371 So I don't want to up and change now. 897 00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,568 Lance, trust me, it's better this way. 898 00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:06,772 - Yo, money, gimme your wallet. - One second. 899 00:51:08,081 --> 00:51:09,922 Are you sure I won't die for 40 years ? 900 00:51:09,922 --> 00:51:10,854 Are you sure I won't die for 40 years ? 901 00:51:10,923 --> 00:51:13,050 - Technically, yes-- - Mother-- 902 00:51:13,125 --> 00:51:16,458 But this body's just a loaner ! Nobody listens to me. 903 00:51:16,529 --> 00:51:20,829 Come on, man ! Rob me ! Don't run ! I got money ! You bad ! 904 00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:24,666 What does that mean, he wants to be more involved with running the company ? 905 00:51:24,737 --> 00:51:27,968 It means, uh... he wants to be more involved... 906 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,907 with, uh, running... the company. 907 00:51:30,977 --> 00:51:32,968 I thought you had him under control. 908 00:51:33,045 --> 00:51:35,980 I do. I mean, I did. I don't really know where this came from. 909 00:51:36,048 --> 00:51:37,982 It's like he's gone crazy. 910 00:51:38,050 --> 00:51:41,019 Maybe the fact you were shtupping his wife changed his attitude a little. 911 00:51:41,087 --> 00:51:44,022 There's really no need to get, uh, personal. 912 00:51:44,090 --> 00:51:46,285 I'll tell you what I take personally: 913 00:51:46,359 --> 00:51:49,157 the statement, "What if we lose a few million dollars ?" 914 00:51:49,228 --> 00:51:52,197 I didn't get into this business to lose money. 915 00:51:52,265 --> 00:51:55,257 Do you think this goody-two-shoes crap that Wellington's been spewing... 916 00:51:55,334 --> 00:51:58,895 extends to, say, auditing the company's finances ? 917 00:51:58,971 --> 00:52:02,771 -Jesus, I hope not. -Blah, blah, blah. Let's just kill him. 918 00:52:08,247 --> 00:52:10,181 What are you laughing about ? 919 00:52:10,249 --> 00:52:14,015 Winston, do you want to take the lead on this one ? 920 00:52:16,622 --> 00:52:18,681 Cisco, you know what I need you to do ? 921 00:52:18,758 --> 00:52:21,192 I need you to get in contact with a man named Whitney Daniels. 922 00:52:21,260 --> 00:52:25,560 He lives on 104th and Lennox. Tell him I need to talk to him. 923 00:52:30,236 --> 00:52:32,466 Uh-- 924 00:52:35,341 --> 00:52:39,038 Pretty sweet, huh ? Up here, Mr. Daniels. 925 00:52:43,115 --> 00:52:47,279 Entering second floor. 926 00:52:47,353 --> 00:52:50,254 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I saw this girl the other day. 927 00:52:50,323 --> 00:52:52,257 She was ugly. 928 00:52:52,325 --> 00:52:54,953 She's so ugly, she's talkin' about give her a booty call. 929 00:52:55,027 --> 00:52:57,791 I said, "Girl, you so ugly, I'm gonna give you a zootie call." 930 00:52:57,863 --> 00:53:02,300 What the hell do you think you're doing here, huh ? This isn't your act. 931 00:53:02,368 --> 00:53:06,168 Calm down. Hey, hey, hey ! Everybody, Whitney Daniels ! 932 00:53:08,074 --> 00:53:10,770 - Shut up ! 933 00:53:10,843 --> 00:53:13,937 You guys have been great, but we're gonna take a little break right now. 934 00:53:14,013 --> 00:53:17,005 All right. Come on, everybody. Let's get back to work. 935 00:53:17,083 --> 00:53:19,108 Come on. 936 00:53:20,286 --> 00:53:22,846 What the hell is going on here ? 937 00:53:22,922 --> 00:53:25,686 I know it looks kind of crazy, but if I'm gonna get... 938 00:53:25,758 --> 00:53:29,353 an amateur spots at the Apollo, I'm gonna need a place to work out. 939 00:53:29,428 --> 00:53:33,262 Y-You wanna do one of the amateur spots at the Apollo ? 940 00:53:33,332 --> 00:53:35,630 You ? 941 00:53:35,701 --> 00:53:38,033 What do you do, have your butlers... 942 00:53:38,104 --> 00:53:40,538 hang around comedy clubs and steal people's acts ? 943 00:53:40,606 --> 00:53:43,040 - You think my act is stolen ? - I know it is. 944 00:53:43,109 --> 00:53:45,703 Personally, I would have stolen some better material. 945 00:53:45,778 --> 00:53:48,713 But the kid who wrote it, he used to work it pretty well and-- 946 00:53:48,781 --> 00:53:50,715 Two Rheingolds comin' at ya. 947 00:53:50,783 --> 00:53:52,944 Thanks a lot, Cisco. 948 00:53:54,754 --> 00:53:57,689 Damn, you took everything from the kid, huh ? 949 00:53:57,757 --> 00:54:02,820 Don't tell me that Rheingold is all you can afford, Mr. Wellington. 950 00:54:02,895 --> 00:54:04,829 Whit, I didn't steal anything. 951 00:54:04,897 --> 00:54:08,560 I just want to play the Apollo. You're the only man who can help me do it. 952 00:54:08,634 --> 00:54:11,398 No. I'm out of the comedy business. 953 00:54:11,470 --> 00:54:13,995 Last person I was gonna help is dead. 954 00:54:14,073 --> 00:54:17,236 But, anyway, he was a special case. 955 00:54:17,309 --> 00:54:20,403 Really ? What was so special about him ? 956 00:54:20,479 --> 00:54:23,380 About him ? Nothin', really, ifyou want to know. 957 00:54:23,449 --> 00:54:26,543 He didn't have much talent to speak of. 958 00:54:26,619 --> 00:54:29,918 But no matter how bad it went-- 959 00:54:29,989 --> 00:54:32,890 and, believe me, sometimes it went really bad-- 960 00:54:32,958 --> 00:54:35,586 he wanted to get back onstage. 961 00:54:37,763 --> 00:54:40,095 He was a good kid. 962 00:54:40,166 --> 00:54:43,101 And I wanted to be there when things got good for him, but-- 963 00:54:52,078 --> 00:54:54,046 Thanks for the beer. 964 00:54:54,113 --> 00:54:56,638 Whitney, it's me-- Lance. 965 00:54:56,716 --> 00:54:59,150 Uh-- I got hit by a truck, 966 00:54:59,218 --> 00:55:02,483 and I went up to heaven, and they took my body quick. 967 00:55:02,555 --> 00:55:04,921 And I'm in heaven, and it's all blue. 968 00:55:04,990 --> 00:55:07,823 And this guy-- And then the other guy, Mr. King, 969 00:55:07,893 --> 00:55:10,157 he looked like Ricky Ricardo and-- 970 00:55:10,229 --> 00:55:14,495 I don't know if it's drugs you're takin' or drugs you need to be takin', 971 00:55:14,567 --> 00:55:17,627 but do something. 972 00:55:17,703 --> 00:55:22,731 Whitney, remember when we did that gig in Atlantic City ? 973 00:55:22,808 --> 00:55:26,437 They were supposed to pay us 500, but they only gave us 250. 974 00:55:26,512 --> 00:55:29,447 And we got real drunk and hung out with these two girls. 975 00:55:29,515 --> 00:55:32,882 We got so drunk, we thought they was transvestites. 976 00:55:32,952 --> 00:55:34,886 Turns out they weren't transvestites. 977 00:55:34,954 --> 00:55:37,218 They were just two real ugly girls. 978 00:55:37,289 --> 00:55:40,952 Then we brought 'em back to the hotel, hung out with 'em, fell asleep. 979 00:55:41,026 --> 00:55:43,859 When we woke up, what did we find out ? 980 00:55:43,929 --> 00:55:46,295 They robbed us ! 981 00:55:46,365 --> 00:55:49,300 Yeah, man ! They-- 982 00:55:56,642 --> 00:55:58,576 Booey ! 983 00:56:00,045 --> 00:56:01,979 Yeah ! Whoo ! 984 00:56:02,047 --> 00:56:04,811 - Th-This is impossible. - What's so impossible about it ? 985 00:56:04,884 --> 00:56:06,818 You been going to church your whole life. 986 00:56:06,886 --> 00:56:09,081 You've been putting money in the collection plate every week. 987 00:56:09,155 --> 00:56:12,454 This is just your tax dollars at work. 988 00:56:12,525 --> 00:56:14,959 Wait a minute. God-- 989 00:56:15,027 --> 00:56:17,325 What's God like ? Does He have a sense of humor ? 990 00:56:17,396 --> 00:56:20,524 I haven't met God, but the devil got some good weed. 991 00:56:20,599 --> 00:56:22,590 I'm just joking. 992 00:56:22,668 --> 00:56:24,602 Just playin', man. 993 00:56:24,670 --> 00:56:28,538 I haven't even met him yet, but I met this guy, Mr. King. 994 00:56:28,607 --> 00:56:32,008 -He's kind of like the manager up there. -Manager ? Wait-- 995 00:56:32,077 --> 00:56:35,342 Lance. Just because you built a comedy club in your own home, 996 00:56:35,414 --> 00:56:37,575 it doesn't mean you can pull this off. 997 00:56:37,650 --> 00:56:41,416 You gotta work your material in front of a real audience. 998 00:56:41,487 --> 00:56:44,650 I got an audience. You heard me gettin' laughs. 999 00:56:46,659 --> 00:56:48,684 You ain't my type but I think I like you 1000 00:56:48,761 --> 00:56:51,252 Doin' just fine but I think I like you 1001 00:56:51,330 --> 00:56:54,390 You ain't the right height but I think I like you 1002 00:56:54,466 --> 00:56:56,457 Wasn't love at first sight but I think I like you 1003 00:56:56,535 --> 00:56:59,595 They say you're kinda rude but I think I like you 1004 00:56:59,672 --> 00:57:02,664 I don't like your crew but I think I like you 1005 00:57:02,741 --> 00:57:04,766 What else do we got ? 1006 00:57:04,844 --> 00:57:07,108 "Your mother has so much hair under her arms, 1007 00:57:07,179 --> 00:57:09,340 it looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock." 1008 00:57:09,415 --> 00:57:11,713 I don't know why but I think I like you 1009 00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:18,315 You ain't my type but I think I like you 1010 00:57:18,390 --> 00:57:20,824 You know what I like about telling jokes ? It's pure. 1011 00:57:20,893 --> 00:57:24,090 It's like Boxing 1 01 . You versus the audience. 1012 00:57:24,163 --> 00:57:26,427 It's not like music. Nobody cares what you look like. 1013 00:57:26,498 --> 00:57:28,489 Nobody cares what you're wearing. 1014 00:57:28,567 --> 00:57:32,230 People just want to know If you're funny. Can you bring it ? 1015 00:57:32,304 --> 00:57:36,070 And I just wanna go to the Apollo and bring it one time. 1016 00:57:36,141 --> 00:57:38,735 What about that stuff you were saying at the hospital ? 1017 00:57:38,811 --> 00:57:42,941 People think that stuff every day, but you never hear anybody say it. 1018 00:57:43,015 --> 00:57:47,247 - I was just talkin'. - Yeah, but it worked. 1019 00:57:47,319 --> 00:57:50,311 - What do you mean, worked ? - It was funny. 1020 00:57:53,392 --> 00:57:55,553 Ooh-ooh 1021 00:57:55,628 --> 00:57:58,028 Shake ya ass But watch yaself 1022 00:57:58,097 --> 00:58:00,531 Shake ya ass Show me what you workin' with 1023 00:58:00,599 --> 00:58:04,296 Shakeya ass, but watch yaself Shakeya ass 1024 00:58:04,370 --> 00:58:07,362 - What's up, G ? 1025 00:58:07,439 --> 00:58:10,374 Don't make me leave here with my foot in your-- Be cool 1026 00:58:10,442 --> 00:58:12,967 Welcome home, G. 1027 00:58:13,045 --> 00:58:14,910 What are you doing ? 1028 00:58:16,148 --> 00:58:18,241 Backin' that ass up. 1029 00:58:18,317 --> 00:58:21,946 - Full grown German shepherd - How about you and me knock boots ? 1030 00:58:22,021 --> 00:58:24,387 Down Y'all can't catch me 1031 00:58:24,456 --> 00:58:29,393 It's just, you know, I've noticed lately you've been into the whole... 1032 00:58:29,461 --> 00:58:31,827 -Jet magazine thing and-- - Listen. 1033 00:58:31,897 --> 00:58:36,163 - I want a divorce. - Is it because I tried to jack you ? 1034 00:58:36,235 --> 00:58:40,672 No, no, no. It's got nothing to do with you trying to jack me. 1035 00:58:40,739 --> 00:58:43,874 The truth is... there's somebody else. 1036 00:58:44,008 --> 00:58:46,977 Oh. Ya got another ho. 1037 00:58:47,044 --> 00:58:51,413 Look, just divorce me. 1038 00:58:51,482 --> 00:58:54,417 You can have whatever you want. I don't want it. 1039 00:58:54,485 --> 00:58:57,579 - Word ? - Word. 1040 00:58:57,655 --> 00:59:00,590 You know, you're a great person inside. 1041 00:59:00,658 --> 00:59:05,254 And you need to get in touch with the person inside. 1042 00:59:05,329 --> 00:59:10,096 And until you do that, you need to stay... inside. 1043 00:59:10,167 --> 00:59:12,260 So take care, all right ? 1044 00:59:14,705 --> 00:59:17,367 He's lost his mind. 1045 00:59:17,441 --> 00:59:19,534 - Your next act, ladies and gentlemen. 1046 00:59:19,610 --> 00:59:22,977 He loves comedy so much, he bought the whole damn club. 1047 00:59:23,047 --> 00:59:25,948 Please put your hands together for Charles Wellington Ill. 1048 00:59:26,016 --> 00:59:28,280 - You all right ? - Yeah, I'm all right. 1049 00:59:28,352 --> 00:59:29,649 - You ready ? - I'm ready. 1050 00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:30,982 - How you feel ? - I feel good. 1051 00:59:31,055 --> 00:59:33,888 Great, 'cause they're here-- The judges from the Apollo. 1052 00:59:33,958 --> 00:59:36,119 Charles Wellington, ladies and gentlemen. 1053 00:59:40,564 --> 00:59:42,828 How're you doin' ? All right. 1054 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:46,097 When I was a kid, we were so poor... 1055 00:59:46,170 --> 00:59:50,004 that the roaches was on welfare. 1056 00:59:50,074 --> 00:59:52,042 Poor, my ass. 1057 00:59:52,109 --> 00:59:55,203 -Get off the stage, you fake Bill Gates. 1058 00:59:58,616 --> 01:00:01,813 Yeah, we was real poor. 1059 01:00:01,886 --> 01:00:03,854 We were so poor... 1060 01:00:03,921 --> 01:00:06,253 that the rats had bald spots. 1061 01:00:06,323 --> 01:00:08,382 Crap. Cripitty-crap-crap. 1062 01:00:08,459 --> 01:00:12,259 I'm supposed to sit here and listen to this crap just because you own the club? 1063 01:00:12,329 --> 01:00:13,921 Rich son of a bitch. 1064 01:00:13,998 --> 01:00:16,193 - Oooh ! - That's comedy. That's comedy. 1065 01:00:16,267 --> 01:00:18,895 Drinks for everybody. That, my friend, is comedy. 1066 01:00:18,969 --> 01:00:22,029 - Allright ? 1067 01:00:22,106 --> 01:00:24,404 Shut up before I crush you with my wallet. 1068 01:00:24,475 --> 01:00:26,636 - Ooh ! 1069 01:00:26,710 --> 01:00:30,146 Bothering me on the job. Do I come to your job and bother you ? 1070 01:00:30,214 --> 01:00:33,240 Do I kick the squeegee out your hand ? No. 1071 01:00:33,317 --> 01:00:37,048 I leave it right there. Let you get all the cars all day long. 1072 01:00:38,422 --> 01:00:41,619 - I didn't always have money. 1073 01:00:41,692 --> 01:00:44,786 No, no, no. When I was a kid, we really was poor. 1074 01:00:47,698 --> 01:00:50,633 My dad was the cheapest man on Earth. My father's so cheap... 1075 01:00:50,701 --> 01:00:53,534 that when we went to bed, he'd unplug the clocks. 1076 01:00:56,974 --> 01:00:59,465 "You can't tell time when you asleep." 1077 01:01:02,479 --> 01:01:05,812 And the last spot for the Apollo's final show goes to... 1078 01:01:05,883 --> 01:01:09,216 millionaire Charles Wellington from New York City. 1079 01:01:09,286 --> 01:01:12,585 And to make the night right, closing out the show will be Brian McKnight. 1080 01:01:13,991 --> 01:01:16,824 Boy, I don't know what got into that Wellington, 1081 01:01:16,894 --> 01:01:18,828 but I like him. 1082 01:01:18,896 --> 01:01:23,560 It was a long time ago. 1083 01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:32,775 Furis murder! Furis murder! 1084 01:01:32,843 --> 01:01:35,368 - Fur is murder ! - Furis murder! 1085 01:01:35,446 --> 01:01:37,778 - Furis murder! - I'm gonna show you murder ! 1086 01:01:39,450 --> 01:01:41,611 Don't be stingy. 1087 01:01:43,554 --> 01:01:46,387 Stick to the soft stuff. You can gum it. 1088 01:01:46,457 --> 01:01:48,391 Kiss my ass. 1089 01:01:48,459 --> 01:01:50,757 I'm so glad we're giving back to the community. 1090 01:01:50,828 --> 01:01:53,626 Put on the hat. Put it on. 1091 01:01:53,697 --> 01:01:56,791 So I still gotta get onstage and not get booed off. 1092 01:01:56,867 --> 01:01:58,801 You're doin' pretty good. 1093 01:01:58,869 --> 01:02:01,531 - Thank you for the party. - No problem, sickie. 1094 01:02:01,605 --> 01:02:04,335 You take care... ya sick bastard. 1095 01:02:05,709 --> 01:02:07,870 See what you got here. 1096 01:02:07,945 --> 01:02:10,539 Damn, you're sick ! You're a sick man ! 1097 01:02:10,614 --> 01:02:14,846 - Let's get this man a table dance ! - Yes, sir. 1098 01:02:16,387 --> 01:02:18,321 So will you marry me ? 1099 01:02:18,389 --> 01:02:20,323 - What ? - Sontee, 1100 01:02:20,391 --> 01:02:24,657 I love lookin' at you; I love talking to you; I love laughing with you. 1101 01:02:24,728 --> 01:02:27,162 You know, sometimes when I can't find you, 1102 01:02:27,231 --> 01:02:28,858 I call your house just to listen to your answering machine... 1103 01:02:28,932 --> 01:02:31,162 because I love your voice. 1104 01:02:31,235 --> 01:02:36,036 The cars, the money, all this stuff, I'd give it all up just for you. 1105 01:02:36,106 --> 01:02:40,042 You know, today I changed the diaper Of an 86-year-old man, 1106 01:02:40,110 --> 01:02:42,476 and I'd give it all up just for you. 1107 01:02:42,546 --> 01:02:44,912 That's a big sacrifice. 1108 01:02:44,982 --> 01:02:47,542 Mr. Barton ? 1109 01:02:50,487 --> 01:02:53,479 - What ? - Nothing. 1110 01:02:55,592 --> 01:02:57,822 - Hold that thought. - Okay. 1111 01:02:57,895 --> 01:02:59,692 I'll be right back. 1112 01:03:01,465 --> 01:03:04,832 - I said hold that thought. - Okay. 1113 01:03:15,579 --> 01:03:18,343 Keyes, what are you doing ? Get outta here. You're deathin' up the place. 1114 01:03:18,415 --> 01:03:21,179 Lance, you gotta come with me. You can't stay in this body. 1115 01:03:21,251 --> 01:03:25,278 Can't you see I'm busy ? Go have yourself some ribs. 1116 01:03:25,355 --> 01:03:27,880 Hey, I'm not the bad guy here ! 1117 01:03:27,958 --> 01:03:30,290 Can I take my hands down now ? 1118 01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:33,454 Yes, you can take your hands down. 1119 01:03:33,530 --> 01:03:35,862 So you really want to get married ? 1120 01:03:35,933 --> 01:03:40,131 I really want to get married. Just look at me. You know I'm not lying. 1121 01:03:40,204 --> 01:03:42,798 I know. 1122 01:03:42,873 --> 01:03:46,138 There's something about your eyes. 1123 01:03:46,210 --> 01:03:49,407 Sontee, I just want to remember all of this. 1124 01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:53,246 I don't want you to forget me. You're not gonna forget me, right ? 1125 01:03:53,317 --> 01:03:56,252 - You act like something's gonna happen. - Nothing's gonna happen. 1126 01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:59,346 I'm just saying, though, If something did happen, 1127 01:03:59,423 --> 01:04:01,948 like... someday you met a guy-- 1128 01:04:02,025 --> 01:04:05,153 It could be a black guy, a white guy, a Spanish guy. 1129 01:04:05,229 --> 01:04:08,426 I mean, if he was sincere, you'd give him a shot, right ? 1130 01:04:08,499 --> 01:04:10,933 Wait a minute. What are you talking about ? 1131 01:04:18,542 --> 01:04:20,476 Everything's all right. 1132 01:04:20,544 --> 01:04:23,411 Everything's all right. 1133 01:04:27,184 --> 01:04:29,448 So you brought the big gun, huh ? 1134 01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:31,784 You gotta play by the rules like everybody else. 1135 01:04:31,855 --> 01:04:34,346 I played by the rules my whole life, and I'm sick of it. 1136 01:04:34,424 --> 01:04:37,689 - From now on, I make the rules. - No one makes these rules. 1137 01:04:37,761 --> 01:04:39,695 But you make all the mistakes. 1138 01:04:39,763 --> 01:04:42,357 Every time I get something going, you take my body. 1139 01:04:42,432 --> 01:04:45,299 This was just a temporary setup. The clock ran out. 1140 01:04:47,538 --> 01:04:50,336 I'm not scared of you, King. I got lawyers now. I got money. 1141 01:04:50,407 --> 01:04:53,035 - Makes no difference. - But I can't go now. 1142 01:04:53,110 --> 01:04:55,635 I'm supposed to play the Apollo, and I'm in love. 1143 01:04:55,712 --> 01:04:58,374 - This is bigger than that. - Nothin's bigger than that. 1144 01:04:58,448 --> 01:04:59,437 This is fate. 1145 01:04:59,516 --> 01:05:01,882 How come every time something bad happens to me, it's fate, 1146 01:05:01,952 --> 01:05:04,477 and every time something good happens to me, it's luck ? 1147 01:05:04,555 --> 01:05:07,183 Is anything good supposed to happen to me ? 1148 01:05:08,358 --> 01:05:10,952 - No. 1149 01:05:14,431 --> 01:05:16,296 Somebody call 9-1 -1 ! 1150 01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,334 Sorry, Lance. I tried to warn you. 1151 01:05:26,410 --> 01:05:29,345 - King, you gotta get me back. - No dice. 1152 01:05:29,413 --> 01:05:33,008 - We had a deal. - I'll do anything. I'll be anybody. 1153 01:05:33,083 --> 01:05:36,018 - There'll be consequences. - I'll take 'em. 1154 01:05:36,086 --> 01:05:38,350 Just get me back! 1155 01:05:56,006 --> 01:05:59,601 - Hello, Sontee. 1156 01:05:59,676 --> 01:06:03,112 I just can't believe he's gone, just like that. 1157 01:06:07,150 --> 01:06:09,084 He's not gone, Sontee. 1158 01:06:09,152 --> 01:06:12,178 I know in a way he's gonna live on, but-- 1159 01:06:12,256 --> 01:06:14,190 No, no, honestly. 1160 01:06:14,258 --> 01:06:17,159 You think you loved Charles Wellington, 1161 01:06:17,227 --> 01:06:21,254 but really you loved someone inside of him. 1162 01:06:21,331 --> 01:06:23,629 He didn't die tonight. 1163 01:06:23,700 --> 01:06:25,861 He's living on somewhere. 1164 01:06:25,936 --> 01:06:27,995 I'm sure of it. 1165 01:06:28,071 --> 01:06:30,232 And he'll always remember us. 1166 01:06:30,307 --> 01:06:32,275 So what are we doin' here ? 1167 01:06:32,342 --> 01:06:35,243 This is your future, kid. 1168 01:06:35,312 --> 01:06:37,837 - You mean I'm gonna be Joe Guy ? - That's the plan. 1169 01:06:37,915 --> 01:06:39,507 I don't want to take his life. 1170 01:06:39,583 --> 01:06:41,778 He's about to play the Apollo. He's a nice guy. 1171 01:06:41,852 --> 01:06:45,083 That's his destiny. This is yours. It'll all work out for the best. 1172 01:06:45,155 --> 01:06:48,750 I'm not so sure with you. Look out, Joe ! 1173 01:07:10,010 --> 01:07:12,501 Air bags. 1174 01:07:12,579 --> 01:07:15,377 Air bags. 1175 01:07:15,449 --> 01:07:17,644 Taxi ! Taxi ! 1176 01:07:17,718 --> 01:07:20,551 Hey ! 1177 01:07:20,621 --> 01:07:22,782 Taxi ! 1178 01:07:22,856 --> 01:07:25,222 - Taxi ! Taxi ! 1179 01:07:27,294 --> 01:07:30,730 Taxi ! Taxi, taxi, taxi ! 1180 01:07:33,867 --> 01:07:36,529 I'm black again ! 1181 01:07:36,603 --> 01:07:40,437 I'm black again ! I'm a black man ! 1182 01:07:44,011 --> 01:07:46,377 People are questioning Winston Sklar, 1183 01:07:46,446 --> 01:07:48,812 who worked for Wellington, in relation to the murder. 1184 01:07:48,882 --> 01:07:52,374 To the people who knew him, Charles Wellington was two men.: 1185 01:07:52,452 --> 01:07:54,477 a ruthless, cutthroat businessman... 1186 01:07:54,555 --> 01:07:57,456 and, more recently, a kind philanthropist. 1187 01:07:57,524 --> 01:08:02,188 That man who got shot in the park today, that wasn't no Charles Wellington. 1188 01:08:02,262 --> 01:08:05,561 That Wellington, he was always a cheap-- 1189 01:08:05,632 --> 01:08:08,601 no-good mother-- with a stick up his-- 1190 01:08:08,669 --> 01:08:11,866 Now, the man in the park today, he was somebody else. 1191 01:08:11,939 --> 01:08:14,965 He was my brother. I loved that man. 1192 01:08:15,042 --> 01:08:17,135 Chuck Wellington. 1193 01:08:17,211 --> 01:08:20,578 There will never be another one like him. 1194 01:08:20,647 --> 01:08:24,481 - I can't believe he's gone. - He's done. No more questions. 1195 01:08:24,551 --> 01:08:28,988 Thanks, Ted. Charles Wellington Ill, dead at the age of 53. 1196 01:08:29,056 --> 01:08:32,890 He leaves behind his wife Amber, a dog, Elle, and a sizable-- 1197 01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:34,951 I don't want you to forget me. 1198 01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:37,121 You're not gonna forget me, right ? 1199 01:08:37,197 --> 01:08:40,189 There's something about your eyes. 1200 01:08:40,267 --> 01:08:42,462 Everything's allright. 1201 01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:45,369 Everything's allright. 1202 01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:47,964 The eccentric billionaire left the bulk of his estate to city charities, 1203 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:51,738 his personal friends and his loyal domestic staff. 1204 01:08:51,812 --> 01:08:54,246 It's Showtime at the Apollo one last time... 1205 01:08:54,314 --> 01:08:57,875 as the venerable Harlem institution closes its doors for good. 1206 01:08:57,951 --> 01:09:00,715 - I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin' 1207 01:09:00,787 --> 01:09:05,417 And findin' that there's nobody there 1208 01:09:05,492 --> 01:09:07,517 No, no, no, no way 1209 01:09:07,594 --> 01:09:10,529 Hey, Whitney. I haven't seen you in a while. 1210 01:09:10,597 --> 01:09:13,532 What ya doin' backstage ? How about a loan ? 1211 01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,932 No. Stop it. 1212 01:09:16,003 --> 01:09:18,494 Guess I'm just, uh, hangin' out. 1213 01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:21,063 Yeah. I miss Booey too. 1214 01:09:21,141 --> 01:09:23,735 Love me 1215 01:09:23,810 --> 01:09:26,142 - Thankyou. 1216 01:09:32,019 --> 01:09:34,180 - Lance ? - No, I'm Phil. 1217 01:09:34,254 --> 01:09:36,188 Sorry. 1218 01:09:36,256 --> 01:09:39,089 How about a hand for your next act, Mr. Joe Guy. 1219 01:09:39,159 --> 01:09:42,026 - Give it up for Joe Guy. 1220 01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:44,461 - Hey, Whit. - Oh, hey, Joe. 1221 01:09:56,643 --> 01:10:00,636 - Make me laugh ! 1222 01:10:00,714 --> 01:10:04,377 - Apollo ! Yeah ! 1223 01:10:04,451 --> 01:10:07,648 So, what is it all about ? 1224 01:10:07,721 --> 01:10:10,383 Looks ? Looks will determine everything. 1225 01:10:10,457 --> 01:10:13,392 You know, you want people To judge you by your character, 1226 01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:17,226 you know, what you feel inside, but nobody cares. 1227 01:10:17,297 --> 01:10:19,561 People, all they care about is your looks. 1228 01:10:19,633 --> 01:10:21,726 I'm sorry, ifyou look good, you're gonna have a good life. 1229 01:10:21,802 --> 01:10:24,066 You look bad, ooh, you better work on it. 1230 01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,470 That's right, the uglier you are, the smarter you better be. 1231 01:10:27,541 --> 01:10:30,476 For every ten pounds you are overweight, 1232 01:10:30,544 --> 01:10:32,535 you better pick up a book. 1233 01:10:32,612 --> 01:10:36,013 Or you better get two books, and get a computer while you're at it. 1234 01:10:42,189 --> 01:10:45,420 Lance ? Oh, yeah. 1235 01:10:45,492 --> 01:10:48,928 That's right. I was at the Knick game the other day. 1236 01:10:48,996 --> 01:10:52,227 I'm looking at the seats. The higher the seats got, 1237 01:10:52,299 --> 01:10:55,700 - the uglier the people got. 1238 01:10:55,769 --> 01:10:58,602 If I was a usher, I wouldn't even need tickets. 1239 01:10:58,672 --> 01:11:02,472 I'd just look at faces. Whoo ! You gotta go up top ! 1240 01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:07,946 One thing I love about women. 1241 01:11:08,015 --> 01:11:11,781 Women can fall in love with a ugly man and admit it. 1242 01:11:11,852 --> 01:11:13,979 Show him off to all her friends and the family. 1243 01:11:14,054 --> 01:11:15,487 He'd be the ugliest guy in the world, 1244 01:11:15,555 --> 01:11:17,819 and they'd be so proud of their ugly man. 1245 01:11:17,891 --> 01:11:20,553 They'll hold his hand like, "l want you to meet Kevin. 1246 01:11:20,627 --> 01:11:23,152 "l just want you to meet Kevin. He's a nice guy. 1247 01:11:23,230 --> 01:11:27,189 I know he don't look that good... but he's good to me !" 1248 01:11:27,267 --> 01:11:29,599 - Women cool like that. 1249 01:11:29,669 --> 01:11:31,660 Guys would never admit to being in love with an ugly woman. 1250 01:11:31,738 --> 01:11:33,672 We'll hide it to the death ! 1251 01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:35,765 We ain't tellin' nobody ! 1252 01:11:35,842 --> 01:11:37,833 That's right, we ain't tellin' nobody. 1253 01:11:37,911 --> 01:11:40,709 "Heard you got married." "Who told you that ?" 1254 01:11:40,781 --> 01:11:42,715 - That's it. 1255 01:11:42,783 --> 01:11:46,219 What's life all about, man ? What is it all about ? 1256 01:11:46,286 --> 01:11:49,722 You want, you know, love. Love, love, love, love, love. 1257 01:11:49,790 --> 01:11:52,987 You wanna be in love. You want that new love. 1258 01:11:53,060 --> 01:11:56,689 You want-- You want to feel that first kiss again. 1259 01:11:56,763 --> 01:12:00,028 That's right, 'cause that's the only real kiss in a relationship, 1260 01:12:00,100 --> 01:12:02,193 is the first kiss. 1261 01:12:02,269 --> 01:12:06,205 All the rest of the kisses Are just--just protocol. 1262 01:12:06,273 --> 01:12:10,175 Every other kiss is just protocol. That's all it is, just routine. 1263 01:12:10,243 --> 01:12:13,269 Hey ! You was gone. You back. 1264 01:12:13,346 --> 01:12:15,314 Hey, we havin' sex. 1265 01:12:15,382 --> 01:12:17,475 Hey, I miss you. 1266 01:12:17,551 --> 01:12:21,180 It's all routine. The first kiss is the only real one... 1267 01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:24,746 'cause it always happens, like, in the middle of a conversation. 1268 01:12:24,825 --> 01:12:27,589 You don't even know what you're talking about. "Yeah, you know. 1269 01:12:27,661 --> 01:12:30,494 "Maybe someday I was thinking about maybe trying to get the Acura--" 1270 01:12:30,564 --> 01:12:33,556 - Uhh ! 1271 01:12:33,633 --> 01:12:37,501 You never know ! The first kiss is always like double Dutch. 1272 01:12:37,571 --> 01:12:41,337 You're just sittin' there like, "When do I get in ? When do I get in ? 1273 01:12:41,408 --> 01:12:44,502 "Aaah ! Yeah ! I'm kissin' ! I'm kissin', I'm kissin', I'm kissin', 1274 01:12:44,578 --> 01:12:46,808 - I'm kissin' , I'm kissin' !" 1275 01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:50,441 - Hey, I gotta go. Y'all be good. 1276 01:12:57,357 --> 01:12:59,882 That's my dog. 1277 01:13:04,898 --> 01:13:07,230 Joe Guy, ladies and gentlemen. Joe Guy. 1278 01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:10,963 The next act is also a comedian. How about a hand for Mr. Mike Green ! 1279 01:13:11,037 --> 01:13:13,028 Whitney. 1280 01:13:13,106 --> 01:13:15,165 Lance. 1281 01:13:16,710 --> 01:13:20,305 They didn't boo. They didn't boo ! 1282 01:13:20,380 --> 01:13:21,779 - Why don't they make the whole thing... 1283 01:13:21,848 --> 01:13:24,282 out of a black box ? 1284 01:13:24,351 --> 01:13:27,616 We are back in business, huh ? 1285 01:13:27,687 --> 01:13:30,747 I'm back, Whit. You and me. 1286 01:13:30,824 --> 01:13:34,260 Lance, I'm proud of you. 1287 01:13:42,102 --> 01:13:44,832 - Lance. - Mr. King. 1288 01:13:44,905 --> 01:13:47,965 -Keyes. -Hey, congratulations. You killed 'em ! 1289 01:13:48,041 --> 01:13:50,009 - We're cool, right ? 1290 01:13:50,076 --> 01:13:53,341 - Oh, we're cool, man. We're real cool. - Lance, we gotta talk. 1291 01:13:53,413 --> 01:13:56,814 Remember our deal? Wellington was just a temporary setup. 1292 01:13:56,883 --> 01:13:59,875 This is the real thing. This is your body. 1293 01:13:59,953 --> 01:14:02,285 Start to set up house, 'cause this is you. 1294 01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:05,950 I'll sign the lease right now. I'll give you two months in advance. 1295 01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,722 Joe, that was the shiznit, son. 1296 01:14:08,795 --> 01:14:11,161 Listen to Phil Quon. You about to shine. 1297 01:14:11,231 --> 01:14:13,199 - Kid, listen to me. 1298 01:14:13,266 --> 01:14:15,791 When we leave, you will be Joe Guy. 1299 01:14:15,869 --> 01:14:18,303 You won't remember Keyes; you won't remember me. 1300 01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:19,804 Get outta here, man ! 1301 01:14:19,873 --> 01:14:23,331 I'm gonna remember you like you whooped my ass in third grade. 1302 01:14:23,410 --> 01:14:26,379 Lance, you're not getting it. 1303 01:14:26,446 --> 01:14:29,677 You see, you won't remember Charles Wellington, Sontee. 1304 01:14:29,749 --> 01:14:32,183 You won't even remember Lance Barton. 1305 01:14:32,252 --> 01:14:34,743 You will be Joe Guy. 1306 01:14:34,821 --> 01:14:37,439 What do you mean, I won't remember Sontee ? 1307 01:14:37,573 --> 01:14:39,632 - I'm sorry, Lance. - You're sorry ? 1308 01:14:39,708 --> 01:14:44,008 I got hit by a truck; I got smashed by a car;, I got shot, 1309 01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:47,310 and now you wanna take my soul ? What are you, the Blair Witch ? 1310 01:14:47,383 --> 01:14:50,784 I can't take your soul. Nobody could do that. 1311 01:14:50,853 --> 01:14:53,788 Where you're from, what you look like, that's just clothing. 1312 01:14:53,856 --> 01:14:57,815 How am I supposed to get Sontee if I don't remember Sontee ? 1313 01:14:57,893 --> 01:15:01,693 No, no, no, how am I supposed to get Sontee if Sontee doesn't remember me ? 1314 01:15:01,764 --> 01:15:04,130 The funny thing about reincarnation, kid: 1315 01:15:04,199 --> 01:15:07,134 Even when you're not you, you're still you. 1316 01:15:07,202 --> 01:15:09,170 Don't worry. I got a good feeling about this. 1317 01:15:09,238 --> 01:15:11,672 Don't worry ? I had a hard enough time... 1318 01:15:11,740 --> 01:15:13,833 trying to get this girl as a rich white man. 1319 01:15:13,909 --> 01:15:17,174 Do you know how hard it's gonna be to try to get her as a broke black man ? 1320 01:15:17,246 --> 01:15:20,044 See you around, Joe. 1321 01:15:21,717 --> 01:15:23,912 That's what I'm talking about. You and me on the road. 1322 01:15:23,986 --> 01:15:28,685 We could blow up, son ! Joe, are you allright ? 1323 01:15:28,757 --> 01:15:30,850 Lance. 1324 01:15:30,926 --> 01:15:33,690 L-Lance. 1325 01:15:33,762 --> 01:15:37,027 Hey, Lance, come on, man. Let's celebrate. 1326 01:15:37,099 --> 01:15:40,762 - I got some big plans for us. - What are you talking about ? 1327 01:15:40,836 --> 01:15:45,364 Lance, come on. Nobody else is around. 1328 01:15:46,775 --> 01:15:50,438 - Why do you keep calling me Lance ? - Uh-- 1329 01:15:50,512 --> 01:15:53,345 Look at me for-- for a second, will ya ? 1330 01:15:57,586 --> 01:15:59,952 - Lance. -Joe Guy. 1331 01:16:01,790 --> 01:16:05,351 Oh, you mean your boy, Lance Barton. 1332 01:16:05,427 --> 01:16:09,363 Oh, I'm sorry. You're still dealing with that, huh ? 1333 01:16:09,431 --> 01:16:11,399 Yeah. 1334 01:16:11,467 --> 01:16:15,733 Yeah, l, uh... guess I am. 1335 01:16:15,804 --> 01:16:18,295 - Look. Mr. Daniels-- - Whitney. 1336 01:16:18,373 --> 01:16:21,103 Okay. Whitney, I don't have a manager. 1337 01:16:21,176 --> 01:16:24,475 Would it be cool to come by your office and leave a tape ? 1338 01:16:24,546 --> 01:16:28,004 You know, like maybe you could take me on ? 1339 01:16:29,218 --> 01:16:31,209 Yeah. Sure. 1340 01:16:31,286 --> 01:16:33,413 Call me tomorrow, huh ? 1341 01:16:33,489 --> 01:16:36,458 You're, uh-- 1342 01:16:36,525 --> 01:16:38,459 You're a good kid. 1343 01:16:38,527 --> 01:16:41,155 Thanks a lot. I'm gonna call you tomorrow. 1344 01:16:41,230 --> 01:16:43,790 - Right. -Joe Guy. 1345 01:16:43,866 --> 01:16:47,097 - Don't act like you don't know me. - No, man. 1346 01:16:47,169 --> 01:16:51,162 And you know what ? If you don't like the tape, keep it to yourself. 1347 01:16:51,240 --> 01:16:53,674 - Right, right. - It's gonna be all right. 1348 01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:02,681 Oh, um, excuse me. I'm looking for Whitney Daniels. 1349 01:17:02,751 --> 01:17:06,084 Uh, Whitney Daniels ? Yeah, just go straight. 1350 01:17:06,155 --> 01:17:08,851 Make a right and go down the stairs. 1351 01:17:08,924 --> 01:17:10,949 When you get by the dressing rooms, he should be there. 1352 01:17:11,026 --> 01:17:12,857 Thanks. 1353 01:17:12,928 --> 01:17:17,092 Oh, I'm sorry, but do you think they'll let me back there ? 1354 01:17:17,166 --> 01:17:19,964 Yeah, sure. The show's been over for about an hour. 1355 01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:24,028 - Do I know you ? - No. 1356 01:17:24,106 --> 01:17:26,370 No, no, seriously. I'm not joking. 1357 01:17:26,441 --> 01:17:30,172 I just feel like I've met you before. 1358 01:17:30,245 --> 01:17:33,009 Joe. 1359 01:17:33,081 --> 01:17:35,777 -Joe Guy. - Sontee Jenkins. 1360 01:17:35,851 --> 01:17:37,978 Sontee. 1361 01:17:38,053 --> 01:17:40,317 Thanks. 1362 01:17:43,125 --> 01:17:45,821 - Oh. 1363 01:17:45,894 --> 01:17:50,490 Last call at the Apollo. We better get out of here before they lock us in. 1364 01:17:50,566 --> 01:17:54,058 Give me your hand. I know my way around here. 1365 01:17:54,136 --> 01:17:57,367 Don't be scared. Everything's all right. 1366 01:17:57,439 --> 01:18:00,101 What did you just say ? 1367 01:18:00,175 --> 01:18:03,872 Everything's all right. Like the song. Everything is all right 1368 01:18:03,946 --> 01:18:06,779 It's just that when you said that, it-- 1369 01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:10,477 - You're a comedian ? - Do I sing that bad ? 1370 01:18:10,552 --> 01:18:15,046 No. You were on tonight. How'd you do ? 1371 01:18:15,123 --> 01:18:19,287 They didn't boo. You know, they got this after party-- 1372 01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:22,387 - Sorry. I didn't mean to hold you up. - No, no, no, no, no. 1373 01:18:22,464 --> 01:18:26,798 I don't feel like going to the party. You wanna get something to eat ? 1374 01:18:26,868 --> 01:18:29,860 Are you asking me out ? 1375 01:18:29,938 --> 01:18:33,032 No, I just want to feed you. 1376 01:18:33,108 --> 01:18:36,407 Yeah. I'm starved. 1377 01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:41,849 - Nice shoes. - Thankyou. 1378 01:18:41,917 --> 01:18:44,147 So what do you do ? 1379 01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:47,211 - I'm into medicine. - What are you, a drug dealer ? 1380 01:18:47,289 --> 01:18:52,056 Watch it. No. Actually, I own Brooklyn Community Hospital. 1381 01:18:52,127 --> 01:18:55,790 You own a hospital ? I know Brooklyn Community. 1382 01:18:55,864 --> 01:18:59,698 My uncle went there for a new liver, and they sent his ass to the supermarket. 1383 01:18:59,768 --> 01:19:02,669 Hello, Sontee. How're you doing, sir ? 1384 01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,899 - This your ride ? - Yeah. 1385 01:19:04,973 --> 01:19:08,636 Well, ifyou want to keep it, you better get it out of here. 1386 01:19:08,710 --> 01:19:10,940 - This is nice ! - Cisco. 1387 01:19:11,013 --> 01:19:13,413 What kind of mileage you get on this ? 1388 01:19:13,482 --> 01:19:15,712 Oh, pretty good. 1389 01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:24,051 Cocktails, Miss Jenkins ? 1390 01:19:24,126 --> 01:19:26,890 - So are you the maid ? - The maid ? 1391 01:19:26,962 --> 01:19:31,399 -Do I look like the maid ? I'm the paid. -This is my friend Wanda. 1392 01:19:31,466 --> 01:19:35,994 And look at you. Let you out of the car, and you're pickin' up strays. 1393 01:19:36,071 --> 01:19:39,438 - Did you know your coat's bleeding ? - Mind your business. 1394 01:19:39,508 --> 01:19:44,207 Hey, girls, did you know That pretty boys they need no more 1395 01:19:44,279 --> 01:19:46,645 You better find you a love you can trust 1396 01:19:46,715 --> 01:19:48,706 And expect to like his mother 1397 01:19:48,784 --> 01:19:53,278 Hey, fellas, you better find A girl who loves you more 1398 01:19:58,894 --> 01:20:01,055 - You okay, Sontee ? - I'm okay. You okay ? 1399 01:20:01,129 --> 01:20:02,756 - I'm okay. - Cisco, you okay ? 1400 01:20:02,831 --> 01:20:06,289 - I'm okay. Wanda, you okay ? - Hell, no ! I spilled my drink. 1401 01:20:06,368 --> 01:20:09,303 You know what ? You drink. I'm gonna drive. 1402 01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:15,040 Didn't I tell you to keep an eye on him ? 1403 01:20:15,110 --> 01:20:18,944 I was tying my shoe, and when I looked up-- It won't happen again, sir. 1404 01:20:20,182 --> 01:20:22,616 Cisco, you got any music ? 1405 01:20:22,684 --> 01:20:25,118 Here you go. 1406 01:20:26,655 --> 01:20:29,954 With my mind on my money And my money on my mind 1407 01:20:30,025 --> 01:20:33,517 Rollin' down the street smokin' lndo 1408 01:20:33,595 --> 01:20:36,962 - Sippin' on gin and juice - Laid back 1409 01:20:37,032 --> 01:20:39,916 With my mind on my money and my money on my mind 1410 01:20:40,050 --> 01:20:43,577 Rollin' down the street smokin' lndo 1411 01:20:43,653 --> 01:20:47,248 - Sippin' on gin and juice - Laidback 1412 01:20:47,324 --> 01:20:50,020 With my mind on my money And my money on my mind 1413 01:20:50,093 --> 01:20:52,027 I got me some Seagram's gin 1414 01:20:52,095 --> 01:20:54,188 Everybody got they cups but they ain't chipped in 1415 01:20:54,264 --> 01:20:56,892 Now, this type of shit Happens all the time 1416 01:20:56,967 --> 01:20:59,333 You gotta get yours But, fool, I gotta get mine 1417 01:20:59,402 --> 01:21:02,269 Everything is fine when you listenin' to the D-O-G 1418 01:21:02,339 --> 01:21:05,308 I got the cultivatin' music that be captivatin' he 1419 01:21:08,411 --> 01:21:11,278 You think you're slick in every way 1420 01:21:11,348 --> 01:21:14,442 Changing up the codes On your phone everyday 1421 01:21:14,518 --> 01:21:19,421 Is there something that you're trying to hide from me 1422 01:21:19,489 --> 01:21:24,483 I never gave you reason to run and Take your calls in the other room 1423 01:21:24,561 --> 01:21:28,998 Am I the only one Or is somebody else getting at you 1424 01:21:29,065 --> 01:21:32,626 Is it my imagination 1425 01:21:32,702 --> 01:21:36,194 Things ain't always what they seem 1426 01:21:36,273 --> 01:21:38,366 'Cause I don't wanna be 1427 01:21:38,441 --> 01:21:40,875 Just another name In your little black book 1428 01:21:40,944 --> 01:21:44,038 Just another face in the crowd And it's got me shook 1429 01:21:44,114 --> 01:21:46,378 I gotta mean a little more to you 1430 01:21:46,449 --> 01:21:49,316 Than a space in your list Of your things to do 1431 01:21:49,386 --> 01:21:51,411 Another G-Shock done In your Benz 1432 01:21:51,488 --> 01:21:54,355 Another dime piece That you can show all your friends 1433 01:21:54,424 --> 01:21:56,756 You can call me crazy say I'm insecure 1434 01:21:56,826 --> 01:22:00,853 But I don't wanna be 1435 01:22:00,931 --> 01:22:04,025 Oooh, oh, ohh 1436 01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:06,295 Ohhh 1437 01:22:06,369 --> 01:22:08,303 Mm, mm 1438 01:22:09,606 --> 01:22:12,632 Strange how you claim to tell the truth 1439 01:22:12,709 --> 01:22:15,678 When the passenger's seat In your car's been moved 1440 01:22:15,745 --> 01:22:20,512 And you swore that there was no one else but you, you 1441 01:22:20,584 --> 01:22:23,317 And something else you can't explain 1442 01:22:23,451 --> 01:22:25,749 Why'd you call me By somebody else's name 1443 01:22:25,820 --> 01:22:28,380 You say it's history Your playing days are through 1444 01:22:28,456 --> 01:22:30,390 Or so you say 1445 01:22:30,458 --> 01:22:33,916 Is it my imagination 1446 01:22:33,995 --> 01:22:37,556 Things ain't always what they seem 1447 01:22:37,632 --> 01:22:39,623 'Cause I don't wanna be 1448 01:22:39,700 --> 01:22:42,168 Just another name In your little black book 1449 01:22:42,236 --> 01:22:45,296 Just another face in the crowd And it's got me shook 1450 01:22:45,373 --> 01:22:47,671 'Cause I gotta mean a little more to you 1451 01:22:47,742 --> 01:22:50,142 Than a space in your list Of your things to do 1452 01:22:50,211 --> 01:22:52,509 Another G-Shock done In your Benz 1453 01:22:52,580 --> 01:22:55,515 Another dime piece That you can show all your friends 1454 01:22:55,583 --> 01:22:58,017 You can call me crazy say I'm insecure 1455 01:23:03,224 --> 01:23:08,252 Tell me, are you lying Or is it my suspicious mind 1456 01:23:08,329 --> 01:23:10,263 I gotta know the truth 1457 01:23:10,331 --> 01:23:13,960 If I am just another girl 1458 01:23:14,035 --> 01:23:15,969 You're treatin' wrong 1459 01:23:16,037 --> 01:23:18,471 Another one You string along 1460 01:23:18,539 --> 01:23:21,064 Is it you and me Is it two or three 1461 01:23:21,142 --> 01:23:23,337 'Cause I don't wanna be 1462 01:23:23,411 --> 01:23:25,538 Just another name In your little black book 1463 01:23:25,613 --> 01:23:28,776 Just another face in the crowd And it's got me shook 1464 01:23:28,849 --> 01:23:31,010 I gotta mean a little more to you 1465 01:23:31,085 --> 01:23:33,451 Than a space in your list Of your things to do 1466 01:23:33,521 --> 01:23:35,955 Another G-Shock done In your Benz 1467 01:23:36,023 --> 01:23:38,958 Another dime piece That you can show all your friends 1468 01:23:39,026 --> 01:23:41,460 You can call me crazy say I'm insecure 1469 01:23:41,529 --> 01:23:44,327 But I don't wanna be just another girl 1470 01:23:44,398 --> 01:23:46,366 In your little black book 1471 01:23:46,434 --> 01:23:49,130 Just another face in the crowd And it's got me shook 1472 01:23:49,203 --> 01:23:51,501 I gotta mean a little more to you 1473 01:23:51,572 --> 01:23:54,040 Than a space in your list Of your things to do 1474 01:23:54,108 --> 01:23:56,406 Another G-Shock done In your Benz 1475 01:23:56,477 --> 01:23:59,446 Another dime piece That you can show all your friends 1476 01:23:59,513 --> 01:24:01,913 You can call me crazy say I'm insecure 1477 01:24:01,983 --> 01:24:06,215 But I don't wanna be just another girl 1478 01:24:06,287 --> 01:24:09,620 Just another face in the crowd And it's got me shook 1479 01:24:09,690 --> 01:24:12,284 I gotta mean a little more to you 1480 01:24:12,360 --> 01:24:14,828 Than a space in your list Of your things to do 1481 01:24:14,895 --> 01:24:16,988 Another G-Shock done In your Benz 1482 01:24:17,064 --> 01:24:19,828 Another dime piece That you can show all your friends 1483 01:24:19,900 --> 01:24:22,334 You can call me crazy say I'm insecure 1484 01:24:22,403 --> 01:24:26,271 But I don't wanna be just another girl 1485 01:24:29,410 --> 01:24:32,675 What if I was white Skin the same color as Eminem 1486 01:24:32,747 --> 01:24:35,045 With blond hair and blue eyes The whole shebang 1487 01:24:35,116 --> 01:24:37,949 I know one thing, police wouldn't always be watchin' me 1488 01:24:38,019 --> 01:24:41,079 Pullin' me over for nothing Constantly jockin' me 1489 01:24:41,155 --> 01:24:43,419 Yellow Cabsin the city 1490 01:24:43,491 --> 01:24:46,654 I wouldn't need collateral to buy property if I was white 1491 01:24:46,727 --> 01:24:48,661 Wouldn't matter If I was rich or poor 1492 01:24:48,729 --> 01:24:52,290 Security wouldn't follow me around the store like I'm gonna steal somethin' 1493 01:24:52,366 --> 01:24:53,799 Because I'm black, I rob 1494 01:24:53,868 --> 01:24:56,393 And automatically assume I ain't got no job 1495 01:24:56,470 --> 01:24:58,904 On my own land Feel like an immigrant 1496 01:24:58,973 --> 01:25:01,737 If I was white, I wouldn't have thought O.J. was innocent 1497 01:25:01,809 --> 01:25:05,074 If I was white, What if he was white What if he was white 1498 01:25:05,146 --> 01:25:07,808 - Yo, think about that for a minute - What if he was white 1499 01:25:07,882 --> 01:25:09,816 - Wow - What if he was white 1500 01:25:09,884 --> 01:25:13,650 - What if he was white, white, white - What if he was white 1501 01:25:13,721 --> 01:25:16,417 - What if he was white - What if he was black 1502 01:25:16,490 --> 01:25:18,788 What if he was white 1503 01:25:18,859 --> 01:25:23,193 - What if he were white - What if he was white, white, white 1504 01:25:23,264 --> 01:25:25,755 If I was white, it'd be a different world for me 1505 01:25:25,833 --> 01:25:28,324 If I was white, hmm What shade would I be 1506 01:25:28,402 --> 01:25:31,166 Would I be redneck or skinhead preppy or high-class 1507 01:25:31,238 --> 01:25:34,332 You'd probably live in a trailer park And be white trash 1508 01:25:34,408 --> 01:25:36,433 In any case, there'd be an illside, right 1509 01:25:36,510 --> 01:25:39,172 But there's a good and a bad side of bein' white 1510 01:25:41,849 --> 01:25:44,409 What's up, my brother, De La Soul Pete I have two left feet 1511 01:25:44,485 --> 01:25:47,545 Even if I was white I'd still have a better chance 1512 01:25:47,621 --> 01:25:50,215 Is it a myth or would I really have a little 1513 01:25:50,291 --> 01:25:52,725 If I was white I'd probably listen to hard rock 1514 01:25:52,793 --> 01:25:55,353 And cover my ears Whenever I heard hip-hop 1515 01:25:55,429 --> 01:25:58,796 What if he was white What if he was white 1516 01:25:58,866 --> 01:26:01,630 - What if he was white - What if he was white 1517 01:26:01,702 --> 01:26:05,468 What if he was white What if he was white, white, white 1518 01:26:05,539 --> 01:26:09,441 - What if he was white - What if he was white 1519 01:26:09,510 --> 01:26:11,603 What if he was white 1520 01:26:11,679 --> 01:26:13,613 Mm, what if he was white 1521 01:26:13,681 --> 01:26:16,275 - What if he were white, white, white - Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo 1522 01:26:16,350 --> 01:26:19,319 If I was white, I probably wouldn't even think the same 1523 01:26:19,386 --> 01:26:22,082 I'd watch tennis and golf And bet on hockey games 1524 01:26:22,156 --> 01:26:24,488 Wear suits and ties And go to work everyday 1525 01:26:24,558 --> 01:26:27,152 If I was white I couldn't live Around my way 1526 01:26:27,228 --> 01:26:30,197 And there probably wouldn't Never even be an Amish 1527 01:26:32,766 --> 01:26:35,530 Smokin' on a Marlboro Instead of a Newport 1528 01:26:35,603 --> 01:26:38,436 I'd live in Long Island Instead of New York 1529 01:26:38,506 --> 01:26:40,701 If I was white I probably couldn't dunk 1530 01:26:40,774 --> 01:26:43,208 'Cause everybody know white men can't jump 1531 01:26:43,277 --> 01:26:46,212 And I probably wouldn't be able To go to the Tree Spot 1532 01:26:46,280 --> 01:26:48,373 'Cause all them dreads would think I'm a cop 1533 01:26:48,449 --> 01:26:50,883 If he was white What if he was white 1534 01:26:50,951 --> 01:26:54,443 What if he was white What if he was white 1535 01:26:54,522 --> 01:26:56,456 - Yo, you can't even say that - What if he was white 1536 01:26:56,524 --> 01:26:58,958 What if he was white What if he was white 1537 01:26:59,026 --> 01:27:02,826 What if he was white, white, white white, white, white, white, white 1538 01:27:02,897 --> 01:27:05,263 Yo, what if I was white