[jazzy music]
- * Timmy's still an average kid *
* That no one understands
* Chloe's his new neighbor *
* And she's ruining all his plans *
- Aah!
- * All the wishes
* In the world
* So why should he care?
* Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage *
* So Timmy has to share
* His OddParents, fairly OddParents *
- More than one? - This should be fun!
- * OddParents, fairly OddParents *
* Feather suit, nature boots, laser shooting, rescue *
- World peace, kale treats,
bunny feet, real neat!
- What? No! Leave me alone!
My fairies! Get your own!
- * OddParents, fairly OddParents *
* Timmy, beware, you'll have to share *
* Your fairly OddParents
- Yeah, right!
[upbeat music]
*
[bell ringing]
[all cheering]
- School's out!
The nightmare's over.
- I'm never going back.
Tell my story!
- Boy, this was a hectic day.
I taught the kindergartners Mandarin Chinese
and created an experimental cure
for male-pattern baldness.
- You think you accomplished a lot?
I found a new app that shows me
what I look like with a beard.
Check it.
[beeping]
Ladies, get in line.
- Hey, Timmy and Chloe.
Check out this new app.
This is what Wanda looks like with a beard.
- Gentlemen, get in line.
- Ooh, I know the perfect way to relax after a day
of super achieving.
You guys are gonna love it.
Cosmo and Wanda, poof us to my house.
- Chloe!
Thanks to your experimental baldness cure,
I have hair.
And, oddly, webbed feet,
but I'm okay with that!
[magic wands chiming]
- Let's start the fun
with some healthy snacks.
- [munching]
[alarm buzzes]
[retches]
Something terrible's happening in my mouth.
This is not a cookie.
- It's better.
It's a tofookie,
a cookie-like disk made with tofu
and something called cricket protein.
- Why?
- Now let's bump up the fun.
We're gonna watch the greatest television show
ever made.
[triumphant music] "The Fair Bears"!
- That show is the worst.
I thought it was canceled. Why wasn't it canceled?
- It was, but I have all 26 seasons on DVD.
Never touch them!
[giggles]
[upbeat music]
all: * Welcome to a world that's always fair *
* Get wots of wuv from friendly bears who care *
* Be happy, be fair
* Be truthful And share!
* We're the Fair Bears, and we're fair *
- Stop telling me what to do, Fair Bears.
- * So if you're stressed or feeling blue *
* Come play with us the whole day through *
* We're ready for fun *
* So how 'bout you? *
all: * We're the Fair Bears, and we're fair *
- Ooh, I love watching "The Fair Bears."
This is how I relax!
- I don't want to hurt Chloe's feelings,
but those Fair Bears make me want to
cough up my tofookie.
Know what I mean, Sport?
Sport?
Oh, I don't think so.
[magic wand chimes]
- Busted.
- I'm Fair Bear,
and I never cheat.
- Me neither, 'cause it's wrong.
- I'm Better Bear,
and I believe that no matter how good you are,
you can always be better.
- That's what I tell everybody.
- What's with you?
- And I'm Happy Ray.
Be happy.
And that's an order.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- I love the Fair Bears,
but I'm not gonna lie, guys.
Happy Ray scares me a little.
Guys?
- Busted.
[magic wand chimes]
- Ooh, I love the Fair Bears so much.
I wish they were real.
Oh, oh, oh!
I have fairies.
They can be real.
I wish the Fair Bears were real!
[magic wand chimes] both: No!
[triumphant music]
- [gasps]
[cheers and claps]
- Look, bear buddies.
We're in a super fun new world.
- I'm Chloe, and I brought you here
because I love you.
I love you so much.
- I'm Cosmo.
Want to see Wanda with a beard?
Sorry, I get flustered around celebrities.
- I'm Timmy, and I'm leaving.
- Wait.
What's that expression on your face?
It's like a smile, but it's upside down.
- Can you sign my DVDs?
Use the glitter pen.
Use it!
all: We all wuv you,
and we want to be your bear buddies.
- Oh, you want to be my buddy?
Quit touching my face!
Right, Wanda?
Get back here, woman!
- [groans]
- Um, time for some Fair Bear fun.
Let's play the Fair Bear board game.
[all cheering] - Huzzah!
*
- I'm already bored.
- Don't worry; I have a genius plan.
- Hey, Timmy, you can go first.
Roll the Nice Dice.
- I rolled two.
One...
Two. I win!
Game over. Genius!
We're out of here, Wanda.
- What was that you just did?
- It's called cheating.
Timmy's an expert.
- But it's not f--
it's--it's not fair.
- I have a funny feeling inside,
and it's not--
[stammering] happy.
- Did you eat a tofookie?
'Cause those things will turn on ya.
- [whispering] I'm bear-y uncomfortable.
Someone make it better.
- Okay, let's all just take a bear-y big breath
and sing the song that helps us say bye-bye
to bad feelings.
all: "The Forgiveness Song"!
[upbeat piano music]
all: * You've got to forgive and forget *
* You can't live with regret *
* Whether you're bear buddies *
* Or you just met
* You got to forgive and forget *
- Stop it!
- Timmy, this may sound kind of harsh,
but you're being a little bit of a bummer bear.
- Why does everything you say now
have to have the word "bear" in it?
- Well, someone's a cranky bear.
- I know what makes cranky bears feel better:
nap time!
- Right, like I'm gonna take a nap.
I'm almost a tween.
[dreamy music]
all bears: * Put your sleepy head
* On your sleepy bed
* And close your eyes and sleep *
- [snoring]
[yawns]
[unicorn whinnies]
Where are we?
This place looks like a unicorn ate a rainbow
and threw it up.
- Or maybe it ate a tofookie.
- We're in Happy Hollow,
where cranky bears come to wear the Happy Hat.
- Listen up, bonker bears,
there's absolutely no way that Wanda and I
are putting on these--
- Do it!
[shouting, hats zapping]
[bell dings]
[shimmering chimes]
[all laughing]
- Am I dreaming,
or are you guys actually getting along?
- We're bear-y, bear-y good buddies now.
- I wuv everyone.
- We wore the Happy Hats
with wires and blinking lights.
I smelled smoke.
- Wait, I've seen every "Fair Bears" episode,
like, a bazillion times,
and I have never seen a Happy Hat.
- Who wants a hug?
- I do. I wuv hugs!
The nice bears changed my brain.
- I'm not sure I'm wuv-ing this.
You brainwashed my friends!
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but put Timmy's brain back the way it was.
- We just made him a better bear.
- Boundaries, Timmy.
You're creeping me out.
- This is not cool.
Turn my friends back to the way they were.
- Hey, Chloe, your smile turned upside down.
Maybe you should wear the Happy Hat too.
- [screams]
The Fair Bears are bonkers, Cosmo.
Poof them away!
[triumphant music]
- Sorry, I ate my wand in my sleep.
I thought it was a tofookie.
all: Get 'em!
- Run!
- Don't worry,
I hid a super secret spare wand in Timmy's room.
It should be easy to find,
because there are signs all over town
pointing to where it is.
[exciting music]
- Hunt them down!
[tires screech]
- I wuv you!
*
- Hey.
both: Let's sing the safety song!
all: * When you cross the street *
* Always look both ways
* Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da *
[scatting]
[car horn blaring]
[crashing]
- Mother, I told you not to drive
right after your eye exam.
You want to go to prison again? Is that what you want?
- Denzel, is that you?
[alarm blaring] - My Fairy Finder's in a frenzy!
I'm gonna bag me some fairies.
You get the car to the chop shop
before the po-pos take you to the pokey.
*
[both groaning]
both: * Welcome to a world that's always fair *
* Get wots of wuv
* From friendly bears who care *
[both groan]
- I never thought I'd say this,
but that song is driving me cuckoo!
- Relax.
All I have to do is follow these signs
to the spare wand.
*
Hey.
Ha! What do you know?
It was in my sock the whole time.
Never would have found it without the signs.
[groans]
- You've been a bear-y bad bear, Chloe!
- You call yourselves the Fair Bears,
but there's nothing fair about forcing people
to be like you!
You're the ones that have been bear-y bad bears!
Bad, bad bears!
- You know, I've had just about enough sass
from you, Miss Thang!
- Cosmo saves the day!
[groans]
- My fairy finder found fairies!
Fork 'em over, folks.
- Fairies? Here?
No. [laughs]
Oh, wait--yes, yes, there are fairies,
and they're right there.
all: Wait, what?
- They're not fairies.
They're Fair Bears,
and I wuv them.
- Ooh, let's see, who should I believe?
The boy who always lies
or the girl who always tells the truth?
Tough call.
Fairies in the hole!
[vacuum whirring]
all: No fair!
If the po-pos ask, I was never here.
[both groaning]
*
- I wish Wanda and Timmy were back to normal.
Hurry, before Timmy hugs me again!
*
- Ew, girl cooties.
- What happened to the Fair Bears?
Nothing good, I hope.
- Oh, don't worry.
I can pretty much guarantee that.
[vacuum whirs]
- At last, my lifelong dream of having fairies
has come true.
For my first wish-- ooh, so excited!
I want you to, uh...
- Denzel, is that you?
[all screaming]
[crashing]
- [screams] Why, Mother?
- That wasn't bear-y fair.
- I could be better.
- Let's sing the revenge song.
*
[suspenseful music]
*
- [yawns]
Another awesome day
where my fairies do absolutely everything for me.
Cosmo, Wanda.
Open my eyes.
[magic wands chime]
Now dress me, please.
[magic wand chimes]
- Done. You're in a dress.
You go, girl.
- Oh, dear, I can't un-see that.
Well, bye, Sport.
We're off to the Fairy World iWand store
to line up for the new iWand.
- We're getting awesome upgrades:
Wish Autocorrect, faster Wand-Fi,
and a Find-Your-Wand app,
which I need, 'cause I lost my wand.
- It's in your hand!
- Now, see, if I had the Find-Your-Wand app,
I would have known that.
- You can't go.
In case you haven't noticed,
I'm not great on my own.
My eyes are dry. Blink for me.
- Don't worry, Sport.
We asked Chloe to look after you
while we're gone.
- Yeah, we know you're basically
a potato with a hat.
- Chloe Carmichael, reporting for babysitting duty.
So where's the wittle cutie?
- Wanda, raise my hand.
[magic wand chimes]
- I'm babysitting Timmy?
- I'm not used to doing things without my fairies.
[yelps]
- Don't worry, Timmy.
Wanda and Cosmo will be back soon.
How soon?
- We'll be back by dark.
- I wish it was dark!
- I'd grant that wish,
but I lost my wand.
- It's in your hand!
You're a potato with a wand.
- [yells]
I'm helpless till dark.
- Spending months in this thorn bush
finally paid off.
[groans]
My arch enemy, Timmy Turner, is defenseless.
Time to alert the League of Super Evil Revenge Seekers.
Ring, ring.
- [barks]
- [giggles]
- Ring, ring.
- Hello? Flipsie Fan Club, Dark Laser speaking.
- Dark Laser, Timmy Turner is vulnerable till dark.
- Ooh, I am so there,
but first I have to walk Flipsie.
- Flipsie doesn't walk; it just flips.
I hate Flipsie!
See you in five at the Cake 'n Bacon.
You're buying.
[screams]
Thorns in bad places!
[dramatic music]
Ring, ring.
- Hello?
- Foop, it's Turner time.
- [giggles] Goody.
But I'll be a minute.
I'm in a time-out for putting spiders
in my daddy's pis-ghetti.
- With my team of borderline lunatics,
I'm invincible!
- Time to trim the talking bush.
[string trimmer buzzes]
- [screams] Not invincible!
The League of Super Evil Revenge Seekers unite.
Who are we?
all: Losers!
- Today's a momentous day.
- You bet it is.
It's Bottomless Clam Chowder Day.
- That, and we're going to annihilate a ten-year-old!
- Just a heads-up,
I can only pay with the teeth of my enemies.
It's legal tender in space.
- Teeth back in the wallet, nut job!
We need a plan to destroy Turner.
- Well, you know I have a thing for poisonous spiders.
Listen up.
[whispering]
[all laughing]
- Ooh, you're one bad baby.
Me likey.
- Flipsie has some questions.
- [barks]
- Flipsie has a C-battery for a brain!
- Did you dress yourself yet, Timmy?
I know you can do it.
- Nailed it.
- Ooh, that's super close.
Remember the song we practiced?
* If you want to dress neat
* You put your shoes on your *
- * Hands
[doorbell rings]
- Spider delivery.
- [groans]
You're not supposed to say "spider."
[doorbell rings]
- Spider delivery.
- [groans] Switch it up.
- Uh...what's my line again?
- [groans]
[doorbell rings]
Pis-ghetti delivery.
She's giving me a weird look.
I knew we should have gone with pizza.
Who orders pis-ghetti?
[clears throat]
Anyway, here's your pis-ghetti.
Don't open it till we're far away.
- Uh, thank you?
Wow. Were they losers or what?
- Yes, and they're my sworn enemies.
Whatever's in that bag-- it isn't pis-ghetti.
- Right you are.
It's just a bag of deadly spiders.
[dramatic music]
[screams]
Deadly spiders!
[all laughing]
- Quiet!
Wait for the agonizing screams of terror.
[all screaming]
[whimsical music]
- I can't wait for my upgrade.
Steve Wandzniak is a genius.
Oh, it's him!
- Good news, fellow fairy nerds.
Well, for me, anyway.
There's only two iWands left.
You fight over them while I make my escape.
- Everyone, stay calm...
while we grab the last two wands!
[all yelling]
- Okay, champ.
Let's try walking.
It's easy.
Just put one foot in front of the other.
Left, right, left, right.
- Got it. Left, left, left.
[yells]
- Wow. Really?
No right, just the left and the left and the left?
And I still have three hours till dark.
- Oh, it's gonna get dark a lot sooner than that,
little missy.
- Quiet, she'll hear us!
[doorbell rings]
- Now watch how much better
this scam works with pizza.
- "'Who is it?' she said, already knowing who it was."
- Spider delivery.
[groans] Now you've got me saying it.
- Ugh, I'm surrounded by nincompoops!
- Pizza delivery.
Nailed it!
- You are getting very sleepy.
[all snoring]
- Oh, mother, mother.
[groans]
- Man, I'm good.
Then again...nincompoops!
- [groans]
- Time to wake up the snoring bush!
[all shouting]
[all screaming]
- Mother, we're making a super evil plan,
so we'll need snickerdoodles and juice boxes.
- You still live with your mother?
That's weird.
Flipsie and I went halfsies on a bachelor pad.
Who's Daddy's little wingman?
[giggles]
- Goody, I found a spot on my body
where I wasn't bitten by a spider.
[groans]
Never mind.
- We only have an hour of daylight left to get Turner.
Let's brainstorm a new plan.
- I know-- prank phone calls--
really mean ones with cutting personal slights.
- Or we just have him move in with Mother.
No human can survive that for long.
Mother, snickerdoodles!
- Well, we could use my death annihilator ray,
or--ooh!
We could ding-dong-ditch his house;
you know, where you ring the doorbell and run away.
[giggles]
- Whoa, tap the breaks.
You have a death annihilator ray?
You couldn't have brought that up before the pizza fiasco?
- Losers, we finally have a plan
to annihilate Timmy Turner.
- Snack-y time.
both: Hello, Mrs. Crocker.
- Hello, boys.
Here are your snickerdoodles.
Now get back to your evil.
- Killer doodles, Mrs. Crocker.
- Hey, Laser, eyes up here.
- Okay, buddy.
Which utensil do we eat our soup with?
This is an easy one.
- [slurps]
- You bozo.
It's the spoon!
What are you, a single-cell organism?
Open wide.
Here comes the choo-choo train.
Choo, choo. Choo, choo.
[dramatic music]
- Pizza delivery.
- We're not doing that anymore.
[growls]
[laser gun fires]
[both screaming]
- Run!
- Left, left, left!
[yells]
- Oh, brother.
- [screaming]
[laser gun fires]
*
- [screams]
- So good to get out of that chaos and get back
to the peace and quiet of home.
Why's there a smoking hole in the wall?
- Could be anything.
Construction, big termites, annihilator ray...
[laser gun fires]
[both screaming]
- The losers are after us, and there was pizza with spiders
and left, left, left is wrong!
- He can't eat soup by himself!
- This may be a bad time to bring this up,
but is your mother...
seeing anyone?
- [screams] What is wrong with you
besides everything?
- No worries, Timmy.
We'll just poof them away with our upgraded iWands.
The software upload should only take a minute,
unless there's a glitch.
[wand beeps]
There's a glitch.
- I'll call tech support.
[laser gun firing]
I'm on hold!
- Okay, it's all good.
I just need a password.
Let's see. "Cosmo"?
No, I'll never remember that.
- Just do it!
- "Just do it."
Ooh, fun password.
[wand beeps] Oh, it's taken.
Glitched again.
- Your time on this Earth is done, Timmy Turner.
Did that sound scary?
I--I--I wanted to sound scary.
[accordion music]
- Pizza delivery.
- I'm feeling peckish.
[all screaming]
- I can grant a wish in ten seconds.
I'm just downloading my pictures.
Oh, look, Wanda.
It's us at that luau.
You look hot.
Seriously, you were sweating like a pig.
[laser gun fires]
- [screams]
[explosion]
[dramatic music]
[all screaming]
[all cheering]
- We annihilated Turner.
We did it!
Well, you did it.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
- So that's our story? We blame him?
- Wait, what? It wasn't me.
It--it was Flipsie. Sorry, Flipsie.
Daddy's too pretty for jail. [giggles]
I'll call you, baby.
[all yelling]
- Oh, Timmy.
I'm sorry I called you a bozo,
but you kind of were a little bit.
- I will avenge you...
right after I watch cat videos on my new iWand.
- Aw, I miss my little potato with a hat.
- I'm okay. They missed me.
I played dead, 'cause lying on my back
with my eyes closed is what I do best.
[all cheering]
- My new iWand is ready.
I'm gonna poof us up a big celebration party.
[explosion]
Wanda, call tech support.
- I'm going out for the evening.
Don't wait up, Denzel.
- [groans] What is wrong with you?
- [giggles]
Snickerdoodle.
[jazzy music]
*
- Frederator.