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00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,354
[jazzy music]
2
00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:10,888
- * Timmy's
still an average kid *
3
00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:13,154
* That no one understands
4
00:00:13,154 --> 00:00:15,254
* Chloe's his new neighbor *
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00:00:15,254 --> 00:00:17,688
* And she's ruining
all his plans *
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- Ahh!
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- * All the wishes
8
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* In the world
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* So why should he care?
10
00:00:23,054 --> 00:00:25,354
* Jorgen has reported
there's a fairy shortage *
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* So Timmy has to share
12
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* His OddParents,
fairly OddParents *
13
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- More than one?
- This should be fun!
14
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- * OddParents,
fairly OddParents *
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* Feather suit, nature boots,
laser shooting, rescue *
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- World peace, kale treats,
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bunny feet, real neat!
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- What? No!
Leave me alone!
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My fairies!
Get your own!
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- * OddParents,
fairly OddParents *
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* Timmy, beware,
you'll have to share *
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* Your fairly OddParents
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- Yeah, right!
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[heroic theme]
25
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* *
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[upbeat music]
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- Well, the school week's over
and I'm just itching
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to do something selfless
and kind for a stranger!
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- Maybe I'll share my nuts
with a stranger!
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- Oh dear.
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- But not my almonds.
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And I'm definitely keeping
my pistachios.
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And everyone better just keep
their filthy hands
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off my fancy cashews!
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Don't even look at them!
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- And resetting.
Ooh!
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Maybe we could save
a troubled animal species!
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- It's the weekend,
Sally Saverson! Relax!
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- Aah!
Save the puppy!
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[heavy metal music plays]
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- This isn't even
a real puppy.
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It's Dark Laser's
stupid toy dog, Flipsie!
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- Oh, I hope Dark Laser
isn't around.
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He's dedicated his life
to destroying Timmy!
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- Well,
a lot of people have.
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Timmy's inspirational
that way.
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Stop staring at my nuts!
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[electronic whirring]
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[ominous music]
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* *
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- I will destroy you...
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[all screaming]
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- Is what I will say
when I find
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the fiends who nearly ran over
my beloved Flipsie!
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Oh, Flipsie!
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Please be able to flip!
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I don't want to have call you
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Mister-Just-
Lays-There-With-Dead-Eyes!
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Also, that name would never fit
on your doggie dish.
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[sobs]
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[barks]
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Oh, he flipped!
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It's a miracle!
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[giggles]
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Wow!
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I was just gonna chill
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with my best bros
Foop and Mr. Crocker,
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and possibly,
but not necessarily
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destroy you, Timmy,
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00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:29,888
when Flipsie suddenly
flipped out of my spaceship!
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That's the last time
Daddy lets you ride
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with your handsome little face
out the window, Mister!
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[laughs]
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[snarling]
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* *
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[roars]
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* *
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- Um, Mr. Laser sir, may I ask
what was that horrifying beast
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00:02:46,588 --> 00:02:47,954
with eight rows of teeth?
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00:02:47,954 --> 00:02:50,721
- Oh, that was a Depravulak,
little blonde one.
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00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:52,254
The most vicious
predator in the galaxy.
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I was transporting it
to a scary zoo on Carniveron 5.
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You don't have
a pig, do you?
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00:02:57,154 --> 00:02:58,954
- Uh, no.
- Good!
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00:02:58,954 --> 00:03:00,388
'Cause that thing can eat
a Christmas ham
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in the blink
of an eye.
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00:03:01,788 --> 00:03:04,354
- You're not going
to destroy Timmy, are you?
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00:03:04,354 --> 00:03:06,321
- No,
strange talking squirrel.
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00:03:06,321 --> 00:03:07,721
Timmy and the blonde one saved
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the thing that is
most dear to me, Flipsie!
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00:03:10,754 --> 00:03:12,654
According to
the Cyborg Code of Honor,
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00:03:12,654 --> 00:03:14,554
I must now devote my life
to protecting them
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from all threats
to their happiness.
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- As long as you keep
your grubby paws
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off my fancy cashews,
I don't care what you do.
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- Wait! Whoa! Wait!
So you're like our bodyguard?
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Count me in,
Dark Laser!
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00:03:27,321 --> 00:03:29,754
- Why don't you call me
by my given name, Clark?
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00:03:29,754 --> 00:03:33,254
I changed it to "Dark"
during my emo teen years.
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I was quite the handful.
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00:03:34,321 --> 00:03:37,088
[chuckles]
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00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:39,721
- Timmy, do you seriously want
to spend the rest of your life
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guarded by a highly unstable
man-machine
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with plasma cannons for arms?
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- Uh, yeah!
Who wouldn't? Trust me!
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This is gonna be awesome.
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- Oh, Timmy!
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If you want your allowance,
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stop lollygagging with
your terrifying metal friend
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and mow the lawn!
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00:03:53,954 --> 00:03:58,188
- Uh, Clark? The lawn thing is a
definite threat to my happiness.
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- Terminating threat.
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- [screams]
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Here's your allowance!
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And take these bars of gold
I keep in my pockets,
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both in case of an emergency
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and because they make
my thighs look muscular!
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00:04:08,454 --> 00:04:09,721
- Whoo hoo!
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00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:12,088
- I feel a sense
of impending doom.
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- Does it feel like
the hot, sticky breath
121
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,654
of a space monster?
122
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'Cause I'm
feeling that.
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[growls]
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[upbeat music]
125
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* *
126
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[screaming]
127
00:04:29,788 --> 00:04:32,088
- You seem tense,
little blonde one.
128
00:04:32,088 --> 00:04:33,654
- Do I?
129
00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:34,821
Perhaps it's because people
are scattering in sheer terror
130
00:04:34,821 --> 00:04:36,421
at the very sight of us.
131
00:04:36,421 --> 00:04:37,688
- You know,
I like the scattering.
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Makes me feel macho.
133
00:04:39,554 --> 00:04:40,821
But if it bothers you,
all we have to do
134
00:04:40,821 --> 00:04:43,088
is give Dark Laser
a little makeover.
135
00:04:43,088 --> 00:04:44,221
Cosmo?
136
00:04:47,088 --> 00:04:49,354
- Oh wow, I am too good!
137
00:04:49,354 --> 00:04:52,088
Now I can't tell
Timmy and Dark Laser apart.
138
00:04:52,088 --> 00:04:53,554
- Honestly.
139
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,854
I don't think anyone else is
going to have that problem.
140
00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:58,088
- Timmy, I'm sorry for being
a Wendy Whateverwart,
141
00:04:58,088 --> 00:05:01,354
but there's no upside
to having a homicidal cyborg
142
00:05:01,354 --> 00:05:04,088
as my bodyguar--littering alert!
143
00:05:04,088 --> 00:05:08,254
Hooligans are befouling the
fragile ecosystem of our park!
144
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- Terminating threat.
145
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:12,721
[all shriek]
146
00:05:14,854 --> 00:05:17,088
- Take that,
enemies of nature!
147
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Booyah!
148
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I have to admit,
I enjoyed that immensely.
149
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:23,254
- Cosmo, do you smell
Christmas ham?
150
00:05:23,254 --> 00:05:25,188
- Oh, whenever possible.
151
00:05:25,188 --> 00:05:27,688
Why?
152
00:05:27,688 --> 00:05:31,188
[cell phone rings]
153
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:33,221
- Excuse me.
154
00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:34,454
[both giggling]
155
00:05:34,454 --> 00:05:35,854
- Throw the toilet paper!
156
00:05:35,854 --> 00:05:37,754
Hey, bestie!
Where you at?
157
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,821
You wanna help me and Foop
TP Turner's house?
158
00:05:39,821 --> 00:05:42,088
And maybe demolish it
afterwards?
159
00:05:42,088 --> 00:05:43,888
[laughing]
160
00:05:43,888 --> 00:05:45,688
- Love to.
But alas, I cannot.
161
00:05:45,688 --> 00:05:47,088
Also, if you guys TP the house,
162
00:05:47,088 --> 00:05:49,288
I will be forced
to annihilate you both.
163
00:05:49,288 --> 00:05:51,088
- Whoa!
Mood swings much?
164
00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,754
Did we say something
to offend you?
165
00:05:52,754 --> 00:05:54,621
I hope not.
He has a Death Laser.
166
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- It's not you.
It's me.
167
00:05:56,488 --> 00:05:57,921
I am duty-bound to protect Timmy
168
00:05:57,921 --> 00:05:59,821
because he
saved Flipsie's life,
169
00:05:59,821 --> 00:06:03,188
and since you guys are
a threat to Timmy, we--
170
00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:05,154
Just say it, Laser.
171
00:06:05,154 --> 00:06:08,188
We can no longer be bros.
[sobbing]
172
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- Yeah, I'm gonna skip
right over the fact
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that Flipsie was never alive
to begin with and say...
174
00:06:13,354 --> 00:06:15,088
that really stings, man!
175
00:06:15,088 --> 00:06:17,088
- Don't make it harder
than it already is, Denzel.
176
00:06:17,088 --> 00:06:19,088
You and Foop
just have to move on.
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00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,321
- If--if that's
what you want.
178
00:06:21,321 --> 00:06:22,921
- You know it isn't!
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- Wait!
180
00:06:24,354 --> 00:06:26,188
- I love you!
181
00:06:26,188 --> 00:06:27,688
- Are you okay, Clark?
182
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,521
You look even more unstable
than normal.
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00:06:29,521 --> 00:06:30,988
Which is alarming.
184
00:06:30,988 --> 00:06:32,888
- All that matters is that,
thanks to you and Timmy,
185
00:06:32,888 --> 00:06:34,788
I still have my Flipsie!
186
00:06:34,788 --> 00:06:36,354
Who's Daddy's little
life partner?
187
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,088
[coos]
188
00:06:38,088 --> 00:06:40,721
- All right, let's not spoil
a great day with icky emotions.
189
00:06:40,721 --> 00:06:41,921
Let's just celebrate
190
00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:43,521
that thanks
to the Cyborg Code of Honor
191
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things are awesome for me
and they're only going
192
00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:47,154
to get better!
193
00:06:47,154 --> 00:06:48,621
[both scream]
194
00:06:48,621 --> 00:06:50,288
[snarling]
195
00:06:56,288 --> 00:06:57,854
- [yelps]
196
00:06:57,854 --> 00:06:58,888
Hey!
Honey!
197
00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:00,954
Call our insurance guy.
198
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:04,354
I think I just hit
an invisible bear!
199
00:07:04,354 --> 00:07:06,821
- It's been a fun day,
but I'm having second thoughts
200
00:07:06,821 --> 00:07:08,354
about this whole thing.
201
00:07:08,354 --> 00:07:09,688
- Well that's because you're
a Cindy Secondthoughts,
202
00:07:09,688 --> 00:07:11,088
Wendy Worrywart!
203
00:07:11,088 --> 00:07:13,121
- You have nothing to fear,
little blonde one.
204
00:07:13,121 --> 00:07:15,088
To assure your safety
during feeding time,
205
00:07:15,088 --> 00:07:16,421
or as you call it, night,
206
00:07:16,421 --> 00:07:19,854
I will encase you
in a nuclear force-field.
207
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:21,221
- Oh yeah!
Check it!
208
00:07:21,221 --> 00:07:23,154
You're in a
crackling nuclear bubble.
209
00:07:23,154 --> 00:07:24,854
What kid
wouldn't want that?
210
00:07:24,854 --> 00:07:26,288
Say it with me:
211
00:07:26,288 --> 00:07:29,454
Everything is awesome!
212
00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:31,854
[grunts]
213
00:07:33,488 --> 00:07:36,288
- Uh, it's just not
the same without him.
214
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:38,088
- Cosmo! Wanda!
Where were you guys?
215
00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:40,554
- We were chased away
by a terrible thing
216
00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:42,088
with ham breath!
217
00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:43,521
- Ah!
It could be anywhere.
218
00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:44,854
Or everywhere.
219
00:07:44,854 --> 00:07:47,288
- No need to fear,
strange talking fish.
220
00:07:47,288 --> 00:07:49,088
The Depravulak
is nowhere nearby.
221
00:07:49,088 --> 00:07:50,921
But if it does eventually
catch you,
222
00:07:50,921 --> 00:07:52,888
take solace in the fact
that the end will be quick.
223
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:55,254
- Well, that's a relief.
Wait, what?
224
00:07:55,254 --> 00:07:58,088
- Sleep tight and don't let
the Depravulaks bite.
225
00:07:58,088 --> 00:07:59,654
Remember, they have
eight rows of teeth.
226
00:07:59,654 --> 00:08:01,321
[chuckles]
227
00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:02,454
- Uh, wait a minute.
228
00:08:02,454 --> 00:08:03,788
I thought you said
the Depravulak
229
00:08:03,788 --> 00:08:05,554
was nowhere nearb--Clark?
230
00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:06,821
- [snores]
231
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,088
[chuckles]
Flipsie.
232
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,721
[cell phone rings]
233
00:08:10,721 --> 00:08:12,688
- What is it now,
Kelly Callerson?
234
00:08:12,688 --> 00:08:13,688
- I can't sleep, Timmy.
235
00:08:13,688 --> 00:08:15,288
My bubble is buzzing
236
00:08:15,288 --> 00:08:19,721
and I can't reach my juice
box through the force-field.
237
00:08:19,721 --> 00:08:20,988
Help.
238
00:08:20,988 --> 00:08:22,754
- Everything is awesome!
239
00:08:22,754 --> 00:08:24,321
[snores]
240
00:08:24,321 --> 00:08:25,721
[rooster crows]
241
00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:27,288
- [screams]
242
00:08:27,288 --> 00:08:28,988
- [screams]
243
00:08:28,988 --> 00:08:30,388
- The world is ending!
244
00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:33,088
I'm late for school!
For the first time ever!
245
00:08:33,088 --> 00:08:36,321
I overslept!
The bubble fried my alarm clock!
246
00:08:36,321 --> 00:08:37,254
- No worries!
247
00:08:37,254 --> 00:08:38,388
I can get you to school on time.
248
00:08:38,388 --> 00:08:39,988
Even if you're
already late.
249
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:41,188
Isn't that right, Flipsie?
250
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,888
[babbles]
251
00:08:42,888 --> 00:08:44,421
* *
252
00:08:44,421 --> 00:08:45,621
Hang on, kids.
253
00:08:45,621 --> 00:08:47,088
In order to get
to school on time,
254
00:08:47,088 --> 00:08:48,954
we'll be traveling
through a wormhole.
255
00:08:48,954 --> 00:08:50,421
- Is that like a manhole
for worms?
256
00:08:50,421 --> 00:08:51,621
No, that's stupid.
257
00:08:51,621 --> 00:08:52,721
- A wormhole is a distortion
in space
258
00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:53,954
that can reverse time
259
00:08:53,954 --> 00:08:55,188
and get us to
school before the bell,
260
00:08:55,188 --> 00:08:57,188
or tear us
into a gazillion pieces.
261
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,688
A risk I
am willing to take.
262
00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:02,754
[dramatic music]
263
00:09:02,754 --> 00:09:09,488
* *
264
00:09:09,488 --> 00:09:10,721
[both screaming]
265
00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:13,121
* *
266
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:17,421
- Where are we?
267
00:09:17,421 --> 00:09:19,888
I just saw a mosquito
the size of a bus!
268
00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:21,421
- We're at school.
269
00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:23,088
Or the place where school
will eventually be built.
270
00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:24,888
We went just a touch
too far back in time,
271
00:09:24,888 --> 00:09:27,954
so class won't be starting
for another 3.5 million years.
272
00:09:27,954 --> 00:09:29,321
- What?
- Whoa!
273
00:09:29,321 --> 00:09:31,088
both: No!
274
00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:32,354
- We can pass the time
275
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:33,854
by telling
knock-knock jokes with Flipsie.
276
00:09:33,854 --> 00:09:35,188
Knock knock.
277
00:09:35,188 --> 00:09:36,854
Flipsie takes a little time
to answer.
278
00:09:36,854 --> 00:09:39,388
But relax,
we have 3.5 million years.
279
00:09:39,388 --> 00:09:40,754
[giggles]
280
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,821
[bright music]
281
00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:43,821
- Ah!
282
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:45,554
So glad to be home!
283
00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:47,088
Wilma!
Chasmo!
284
00:09:47,088 --> 00:09:49,221
I missed you so much!
I really did!
285
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:51,421
Flipsie! Knock knock!
What's the answer?
286
00:09:51,421 --> 00:09:53,421
- Who's there?
Answer me, Flipsie!
287
00:09:53,421 --> 00:09:54,554
[frantic gibberish]
288
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:55,854
- The big mosquito ate
a caveman!
289
00:09:55,854 --> 00:09:57,454
Flipsie!
There was a lot of blood.
290
00:09:57,454 --> 00:09:59,188
It was really gross.
291
00:09:59,188 --> 00:10:02,221
- You two need a sec?
[both screaming]
292
00:10:02,221 --> 00:10:03,788
- Yes. Chloe, I was so wrong
293
00:10:03,788 --> 00:10:05,454
about the whole
bodyguard thing!
294
00:10:05,454 --> 00:10:08,021
I was Ricky Wrongface
and you were Rita Righterson!
295
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:09,488
both: Whisper whisper.
296
00:10:09,488 --> 00:10:11,954
- Clark, what would it take
to end our arrangement?
297
00:10:11,954 --> 00:10:14,154
If we did, in fact
wish to end it, that is.
298
00:10:14,154 --> 00:10:15,254
- Which we do!
Flipsie!
299
00:10:15,254 --> 00:10:17,154
Knock knock!
Please end now!
300
00:10:17,154 --> 00:10:18,954
- All you have to do is ask.
301
00:10:18,954 --> 00:10:20,388
both: Whoo hoo!
302
00:10:20,388 --> 00:10:21,488
- Consider it over!
303
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,988
Soon! Pronto! Now!
Get out of here!
304
00:10:23,988 --> 00:10:26,088
- Flipsie!
We're free!
305
00:10:26,088 --> 00:10:27,888
You two kids have
my eternal thanks!
306
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,754
Now I must go
while I can still resist
307
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,954
the urge to destroy you,
Timmy Turner.
308
00:10:32,954 --> 00:10:34,888
* *
309
00:10:34,888 --> 00:10:36,288
- You did the right thing,
Sport.
310
00:10:36,288 --> 00:10:38,721
- But only after doing
the wrong thing.
311
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:39,988
That's our Timmy.
312
00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:41,488
[car tires squeal]
313
00:10:41,488 --> 00:10:42,621
- Hey!
314
00:10:42,621 --> 00:10:45,688
- BFFs, I missed you so bad!
315
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:46,788
- Hop in, bestie!
316
00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:47,988
We have enough
toilet paper
317
00:10:47,988 --> 00:10:49,154
to TP the
principal's house!
318
00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:51,488
Grab a roll
and let's roll!
319
00:10:51,488 --> 00:10:53,354
- Wait a minute.
What's that music?
320
00:10:53,354 --> 00:10:56,088
- It's my favorite band,
Prison Bus!
321
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:57,588
- We like to listen to it
real loud
322
00:10:57,588 --> 00:11:00,088
and drive recklessly through
the streets of Dimmsdale!
323
00:11:00,088 --> 00:11:02,088
[cackles]
And hit small dogs!
324
00:11:04,088 --> 00:11:07,254
[heavy metal music plays]
325
00:11:07,254 --> 00:11:09,954
* *
326
00:11:09,954 --> 00:11:11,288
- Uh-huh...
327
00:11:11,288 --> 00:11:13,688
Hey BFFs, heh,
maybe I'll just meet you
328
00:11:13,688 --> 00:11:14,921
at the principal's place.
329
00:11:14,921 --> 00:11:16,488
In the meantime,
allow me to gift you
330
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:20,088
this Christmas ham
I happen to be carrying. Hmm?
331
00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:23,088
- Yay!
I love un-refrigerated meat!
332
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:31,521
[all laughing]
333
00:11:35,488 --> 00:11:36,754
* *
334
00:11:36,754 --> 00:11:38,421
- I feel a sense
of impending doom.
335
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:41,288
- I just feel hot, sticky breath
on the back of my neck.
336
00:11:41,288 --> 00:11:43,221
And I gotta say,
I like it.
337
00:11:43,221 --> 00:11:44,688
[snarls]
338
00:11:44,688 --> 00:11:46,854
[both scream]
339
00:11:46,854 --> 00:11:49,854
* *
340
00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:55,954
[upbeat music]
341
00:11:55,954 --> 00:12:01,788
* *
342
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:04,688
[school bell rings]
343
00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:05,921
- Red alert!
344
00:12:05,921 --> 00:12:07,254
According to my
Crocker Cranky Meter,
345
00:12:07,254 --> 00:12:10,288
Mr. Crocker's at
Level Grumpy Old Man!
346
00:12:10,288 --> 00:12:11,788
Oh no!
347
00:12:11,788 --> 00:12:13,888
When Crocker's in a bad mood
he blames everything on me.
348
00:12:13,888 --> 00:12:15,488
- Timmy, you take Mr. Crocker's
349
00:12:15,488 --> 00:12:18,921
delightfully dystopian
world view way too personally.
350
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:22,521
He doesn't
really blame you.
351
00:12:22,521 --> 00:12:24,154
- It's time to play
Wheel of Blame!
352
00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:25,788
Where I spin the wheel
353
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:28,388
and blame the pathetic farce
that is my life on Timmy Turner!
354
00:12:28,388 --> 00:12:30,788
[all cheering]
355
00:12:30,788 --> 00:12:32,354
My flat feet!
356
00:12:32,354 --> 00:12:34,088
My podiatrist says it's genetic,
but I blame Turner!
357
00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:35,354
Detention!
358
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:36,854
- Timmy, I might have been
a smidge wrong
359
00:12:36,854 --> 00:12:38,254
about the blame thing.
360
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:39,821
- Mother, I'm a grown man.
361
00:12:39,821 --> 00:12:42,888
I don't need my Mommy barging in
on my place of business.
362
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:43,954
- I brought your lunch.
363
00:12:43,954 --> 00:12:44,954
- Yippee!
364
00:12:44,954 --> 00:12:45,954
Thank you, Mommy!
365
00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:47,388
Kisses!
366
00:12:47,388 --> 00:12:49,454
Gah! You didn't cut
my pimento loaf sandwich
367
00:12:49,454 --> 00:12:51,154
into the shape
of a feral wolverine
368
00:12:51,154 --> 00:12:52,154
the way I like it!
369
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:53,888
- I blame Timmy Turner.
370
00:12:53,888 --> 00:12:55,721
- Oh, come on!
371
00:12:55,721 --> 00:12:57,154
- Detention to infinity!
372
00:12:57,154 --> 00:12:59,254
Thanks to you, I'm in no mood
to teach today.
373
00:12:59,254 --> 00:13:01,988
So I'm gonna to put on
this video of paint drying.
374
00:13:01,988 --> 00:13:04,688
[all groaning]
375
00:13:04,688 --> 00:13:07,421
* *
376
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:09,454
You don't like it?
Blame Turner!
377
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:11,088
Works for me.
378
00:13:11,088 --> 00:13:12,088
- Ooh!
379
00:13:12,088 --> 00:13:13,254
I love this movie.
380
00:13:13,254 --> 00:13:15,388
The characters have
so many layers!
381
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:17,554
- Layers of paint!
Drying!
382
00:13:17,554 --> 00:13:20,588
- Timmy, my internship
at the cuckoo hospital
383
00:13:20,588 --> 00:13:22,354
leads me to believe
that Mr. Crocker
384
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:24,821
might be blaming you
because he's unhappy.
385
00:13:24,821 --> 00:13:27,188
- No kidding, Dr. Duh!
386
00:13:27,188 --> 00:13:28,354
- He needs a heart-to-heart talk
387
00:13:28,354 --> 00:13:30,188
with one Chloe Carmichael.
388
00:13:30,188 --> 00:13:32,388
I'm like a gondolier
guiding people
389
00:13:32,388 --> 00:13:35,221
through the troubled waters
of their lives.
390
00:13:35,221 --> 00:13:36,754
Mr. Crocker,
I know I'm just a student
391
00:13:36,754 --> 00:13:38,788
and you might not feel
entirely comfortable
392
00:13:38,788 --> 00:13:39,988
sharing your feelings but--
393
00:13:39,988 --> 00:13:41,554
- I'm so lonely!
394
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,088
I'm a middle-aged man
with a hump, weird hair,
395
00:13:44,088 --> 00:13:46,421
and an obsession
with fairies and cat figurines
396
00:13:46,421 --> 00:13:47,654
who lives
with his mother.
397
00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:48,654
Newsflash!
398
00:13:48,654 --> 00:13:50,488
I'm not a chick magnet!
399
00:13:50,488 --> 00:13:52,621
I'm too miserable
to even blame Turner.
400
00:13:52,621 --> 00:13:55,488
Which I blame on Turner!
401
00:13:55,488 --> 00:13:56,721
- Good talk.
402
00:13:56,721 --> 00:13:58,888
I don't want to be a gondolier
anymore.
403
00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:02,388
So I think if Mr. Crocker
gets a girlfriend
404
00:14:02,388 --> 00:14:04,688
he'd be happier and stop
blaming you for everything.
405
00:14:04,688 --> 00:14:06,988
-The only way we can
get Mr. Crocker a girlfriend
406
00:14:06,988 --> 00:14:10,554
is with a Taser and a net
and I think that's illegal.
407
00:14:10,554 --> 00:14:13,788
- Or, we could
wish one up for him.
408
00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:19,121
Cosmo, Wanda, it's time
for Operation Build-A-Babe.
409
00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:24,088
[dramatic music]
410
00:14:24,088 --> 00:14:25,688
* *
411
00:14:25,688 --> 00:14:29,221
- Okay, we have to make her
attracted to Mr. Crocker.
412
00:14:29,221 --> 00:14:32,288
But one small problem:
she has eyes!
413
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,221
- What if we just give her
really bad eyesight?
414
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:38,888
- It's gotta be
really bad.
415
00:14:38,888 --> 00:14:40,654
- Oops!
416
00:14:40,654 --> 00:14:42,588
I hit the wrong button and
"Paint Dry Two" is in Spanish.
417
00:14:42,588 --> 00:14:44,488
Now I don't know
what's happening!
418
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:46,321
- If we're going to create
Mr. Crocker's dream girl,
419
00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:48,088
they have to have
things in common.
420
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,288
Hmm, what does he enjoy
besides misery?
421
00:14:50,288 --> 00:14:52,654
- Uh, well, cat figurines,
baton twirling,
422
00:14:52,654 --> 00:14:57,721
and telling really,
really bad jokes.
423
00:14:59,654 --> 00:15:02,354
- And if our cupid's arrow
is going to hit a bull's-eye,
424
00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:05,288
we can't forget
the most important thing of all!
425
00:15:05,288 --> 00:15:06,788
Mr. Crocker's girlfriend
426
00:15:06,788 --> 00:15:10,654
should really, really, really,
reeaallly like him!
427
00:15:10,654 --> 00:15:13,854
- Oh boy, that's going to take
a lot of power.
428
00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:16,721
We're going to need
our back-up batteries.
429
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,354
- Oh, and she catches flies
with her tongue.
430
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:27,888
A little somethin' for me.
431
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:30,788
- Wait, what?
432
00:15:30,788 --> 00:15:32,521
- Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!
433
00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:35,088
[laughs]
434
00:15:35,088 --> 00:15:37,554
- [yelps]
435
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,654
- It's alive!
436
00:15:41,654 --> 00:15:44,621
- Why did the chicken
cross the road?
437
00:15:44,621 --> 00:15:47,121
It could be
for a variety of reasons.
438
00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:49,321
[laughs]
439
00:15:49,321 --> 00:15:51,288
- Wow, that's not even a joke.
440
00:15:51,288 --> 00:15:54,088
We've created the most
annoying woman on Earth.
441
00:15:54,088 --> 00:15:56,654
She's perfect!
442
00:15:56,654 --> 00:15:58,321
- You're going to like
Mr. Crocker.
443
00:15:58,321 --> 00:15:59,721
He's a bundle of fun!
444
00:15:59,721 --> 00:16:03,221
- [Mr. Crocker weeps]
445
00:16:03,221 --> 00:16:04,721
So lonely!
446
00:16:04,721 --> 00:16:08,854
- Get ready to meet the man
of your dreams.
447
00:16:08,854 --> 00:16:09,888
- Human contact!
448
00:16:09,888 --> 00:16:10,888
I'll get it!
449
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:11,888
Stop laughing, Mother!
450
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,221
It could be for me.
451
00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:17,954
Turner, I blame--
you gotta be kidding me!
452
00:16:17,954 --> 00:16:19,454
Hello!
453
00:16:19,454 --> 00:16:21,454
- Mr. Crocker, I'd like you
to meet my Aunt--
454
00:16:21,454 --> 00:16:22,954
we forgot to give her a name.
455
00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:24,588
- Hummanuh, hummanuh!
456
00:16:24,588 --> 00:16:25,988
- Yes!
How did you know?
457
00:16:25,988 --> 00:16:27,154
Her name
is Hummanuh Hummanuh.
458
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,388
But you can call
her...Hummanuh?
459
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:33,154
Aunt Hummanuh,
say hi to Mr. Crocker.
460
00:16:33,154 --> 00:16:35,821
- No, that's a ficus.
461
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:38,088
And that's a jar that says,
"Broken Dreams."
462
00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:39,254
- Never mind that!
463
00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:42,221
- This is Mr. Crocker.
464
00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:43,821
- Hiiiiiiiii!
465
00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:45,921
[laughs]
466
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,788
- I must be in heaven
because I just heard
467
00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:49,554
the voice of an angel.
468
00:16:49,554 --> 00:16:51,654
- Wow, I heard the voice
of a dying raccoon,
469
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:53,654
but hey,
if it works for you.
470
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:56,521
- Care to join me
in a love montage?
471
00:16:56,521 --> 00:16:58,088
I blame you, Turner...
472
00:16:58,088 --> 00:17:00,721
for finding
the love of my life!
473
00:17:00,721 --> 00:17:03,254
both: Yeah!
474
00:17:03,254 --> 00:17:04,721
- * Love, love, love
475
00:17:04,721 --> 00:17:06,988
* Crocker's in
love, love, love *
476
00:17:06,988 --> 00:17:08,454
* Like a flock
of brain-dead doves *
477
00:17:08,454 --> 00:17:11,421
* Crocker's in love *
478
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,921
* Love, love, love
479
00:17:12,921 --> 00:17:17,988
* Crocker's in
love, love, love *
480
00:17:17,988 --> 00:17:20,654
* Whooooo*
481
00:17:20,654 --> 00:17:23,154
* They're in love *
482
00:17:23,154 --> 00:17:24,921
* Love, love
483
00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:26,688
* Love, love
484
00:17:26,688 --> 00:17:28,788
* Love, love, love, love
485
00:17:28,788 --> 00:17:31,254
* Mr. Crocker's in love *
486
00:17:31,254 --> 00:17:32,488
* Love, love, love
487
00:17:32,488 --> 00:17:37,088
* Yeah, they're in love *
488
00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:38,321
- It's a school night, Sport.
489
00:17:38,321 --> 00:17:40,221
Shouldn't you be doing homework?
490
00:17:40,221 --> 00:17:41,688
- Don't have to.
491
00:17:41,688 --> 00:17:43,588
Ever since I set Mr. Crocker
up with Hummanuh,
492
00:17:43,588 --> 00:17:46,154
he's so happy he stopped
blaming me for everything.
493
00:17:46,154 --> 00:17:48,888
And he automatically
gives me As!
494
00:17:48,888 --> 00:17:50,288
- Oh, Timmy!
495
00:17:50,288 --> 00:17:51,888
Who's the lady living here
496
00:17:51,888 --> 00:17:53,854
with a voice like someone
put a trumpet in a blender?
497
00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:54,954
- Aunt Hummanuh.
498
00:17:54,954 --> 00:17:56,388
Uh, your sister.
499
00:17:56,388 --> 00:17:57,554
- I don't have a sister.
500
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:58,988
- Yes, you do.
- Okay!
501
00:17:58,988 --> 00:18:01,221
Hey, sis!
502
00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:02,221
Noogies!
503
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:03,521
- Stop it!
504
00:18:03,521 --> 00:18:05,454
I'm tellin'.
505
00:18:05,454 --> 00:18:07,388
- Ow! Mom!
506
00:18:07,388 --> 00:18:09,421
Hummanuh pinched me!
507
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,821
- Do I have to separate you two
again?
508
00:18:11,821 --> 00:18:14,721
- Dearest Hummanuh, I brought
you a bouquet of batons.
509
00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,088
I sprung for the full dozen.
510
00:18:16,088 --> 00:18:17,088
And I never spring.
511
00:18:17,088 --> 00:18:18,688
I'm not a springer!
512
00:18:18,688 --> 00:18:21,721
- Okay, now why don't you two
spring on out of here?
513
00:18:21,721 --> 00:18:24,954
- Oh!
They're beautiful.
514
00:18:24,954 --> 00:18:26,088
Knock knock.
515
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:27,221
- Oh, I know how to play!
516
00:18:27,221 --> 00:18:28,554
Who's there?
517
00:18:28,554 --> 00:18:29,988
- I don't know.
518
00:18:29,988 --> 00:18:30,988
You knocked.
519
00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,154
Wait, I did.
520
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,288
Never mind.
521
00:18:33,288 --> 00:18:35,321
[laughs]
522
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:36,521
- [laughs]
523
00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:38,088
Killer looks and
killer punchlines!
524
00:18:38,088 --> 00:18:41,721
I'm the luckiest man alive!
525
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,521
- Uh, a little room, people.
526
00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:46,521
- * Hummanuh and Crocker
sitting in a tree *
527
00:18:46,521 --> 00:18:49,788
* K-I-S-S-I-P-P-I
528
00:18:49,788 --> 00:18:51,154
Aaah!
529
00:18:51,154 --> 00:18:52,488
I'm telling!
530
00:18:52,488 --> 00:18:54,321
- You're my schmoopy,
boopy, floopy,
531
00:18:54,321 --> 00:18:56,788
doopy, moopy, poopy, zoopy.
532
00:18:56,788 --> 00:19:00,188
- No, you're my schmoopy,
boopy, floopy,
533
00:19:00,188 --> 00:19:02,454
doopy, moopy, poopy, zoopy.
534
00:19:02,454 --> 00:19:04,988
- No, you're my --
535
00:19:04,988 --> 00:19:06,521
- Make it stop!
536
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,654
- Get used to it, Turner,
because I'm never leaving
537
00:19:08,654 --> 00:19:10,354
my schmoopy, boopy,
floopy, doopy,
538
00:19:10,354 --> 00:19:13,121
moopy, poopy,
zoopy's side.
539
00:19:13,121 --> 00:19:16,121
- My life's worse than when
Mr. Crocker was blaming me.
540
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:19,088
- Oh Timmy, you just don't
appreciate romance.
541
00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:20,988
Love is a beautiful thing.
542
00:19:20,988 --> 00:19:24,088
[Crocker and Hummanuh
laugh maniacally]
543
00:19:24,088 --> 00:19:25,088
Okay, that's nuts.
544
00:19:25,088 --> 00:19:26,221
Make it stop!
545
00:19:26,221 --> 00:19:28,121
- Cosmo, Wanda,
I wish Aunt Hummanuh
546
00:19:28,121 --> 00:19:29,988
would go away-a-nuh!
547
00:19:29,988 --> 00:19:32,321
- Sorry Sport,
but as weird as it is,
548
00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:34,188
Mr. Crocker and Hummanuh
are in love
549
00:19:34,188 --> 00:19:36,821
and we're not allowed
to unwish true love.
550
00:19:36,821 --> 00:19:39,188
[Mr. Crocker and Hummanuh
scream]
551
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,588
- Uh oh.
552
00:19:40,588 --> 00:19:41,754
Something happened to
schmoopy, boopy, floopy --
553
00:19:41,754 --> 00:19:45,321
- I get it!
Let's go!
554
00:19:45,321 --> 00:19:46,454
- Turner!
Chloe!
555
00:19:46,454 --> 00:19:48,188
I'm as giddy as a teenage girl!
556
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,921
Hummanuh just proposed!
557
00:19:50,921 --> 00:19:52,421
- Nice rock!
558
00:19:52,421 --> 00:19:54,088
- Oh, we're going to spend
the rest of our lives
559
00:19:54,088 --> 00:19:55,354
in Mother's basement!
560
00:19:55,354 --> 00:19:58,754
- I'm so happy for me, uh, you!
561
00:19:58,754 --> 00:20:02,054
- Oh, I'm too classy
to live in a basement.
562
00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:05,088
I want our own place.
563
00:20:05,088 --> 00:20:06,254
- Good idea.
564
00:20:06,254 --> 00:20:07,488
I'll tell Mother
to pack up
565
00:20:07,488 --> 00:20:08,588
her collection
of celebrity hair.
566
00:20:08,588 --> 00:20:10,554
We're all moving to new digs!
567
00:20:10,554 --> 00:20:13,521
- I'm not living
with your mother.
568
00:20:13,521 --> 00:20:15,254
- What?
No Mommy?
569
00:20:15,254 --> 00:20:16,388
- That's right.
570
00:20:16,388 --> 00:20:17,988
You have to choose.
571
00:20:17,988 --> 00:20:21,888
Me or your Mommy.
572
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,488
- Sweet, dear Hummanuh, I can't
lose the love of my life.
573
00:20:24,488 --> 00:20:27,488
The choice is
obvious.
574
00:20:27,488 --> 00:20:29,154
I pick Mommy!
575
00:20:29,154 --> 00:20:31,388
- That's a good one.
576
00:20:31,388 --> 00:20:32,788
- I'm not joking, Hummanuh.
577
00:20:32,788 --> 00:20:34,721
You're great, but Mother and I
share a history.
578
00:20:34,721 --> 00:20:36,554
Sure, it's checkered
and chronically unhealthy,
579
00:20:36,554 --> 00:20:38,021
but it's ours!
580
00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:43,188
It's been fun Hummanuh,
but I'm done-a-nuh!
581
00:20:43,188 --> 00:20:44,654
- I feel strange.
582
00:20:44,654 --> 00:20:46,888
I've never been dumped before.
583
00:20:46,888 --> 00:20:49,221
- Because she's
only two days old.
584
00:20:49,221 --> 00:20:51,821
- Hummanuh mad!
585
00:20:51,821 --> 00:20:54,821
Hummanuh smash!
586
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,854
* *
587
00:20:56,854 --> 00:20:59,854
[snarling]
588
00:20:59,854 --> 00:21:00,921
* *
589
00:21:00,921 --> 00:21:04,188
[all screaming]
590
00:21:04,188 --> 00:21:05,254
- Mom!
591
00:21:05,254 --> 00:21:08,754
Hummanuh broke the house!
592
00:21:08,754 --> 00:21:10,321
- She's turned
into a girl-zilla!
593
00:21:10,321 --> 00:21:13,454
- Because she's been rejected
by her true love.
594
00:21:13,454 --> 00:21:15,488
It's so romantic!
595
00:21:15,488 --> 00:21:17,321
- I inspire rage in women!
596
00:21:17,321 --> 00:21:18,854
That's neat!
597
00:21:18,854 --> 00:21:19,921
[screams]
598
00:21:19,921 --> 00:21:21,154
Mommy!
599
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:29,088
* *
600
00:21:35,388 --> 00:21:36,821
- Our plan better work
601
00:21:36,821 --> 00:21:38,554
or it's back
to the wheel of blame for me!
602
00:21:38,554 --> 00:21:40,088
Oh, and Dimmsdale
will be destroyed.
603
00:21:40,088 --> 00:21:42,821
- The best way for Hummanuh
to get over Mr. Crocker
604
00:21:42,821 --> 00:21:44,921
is for us to wish up
someone new.
605
00:21:44,921 --> 00:21:46,221
- Ooh!
606
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:49,354
Especially if he's
a hunkadoodledoo!
607
00:21:49,354 --> 00:21:51,421
* *
608
00:21:51,421 --> 00:21:52,421
- Aunt Hummanuh!
609
00:21:52,421 --> 00:21:54,154
This is our friend...
610
00:21:54,154 --> 00:21:56,821
We forgot to give him a name.
611
00:21:56,821 --> 00:21:59,788
- Yowza!
612
00:21:59,788 --> 00:22:02,454
- That's right!
His name is Yowza.
613
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:04,221
* *
614
00:22:04,221 --> 00:22:07,221
- [laughs]
615
00:22:07,221 --> 00:22:10,521
- [grunts]
616
00:22:10,521 --> 00:22:12,954
- [giggles]
617
00:22:12,954 --> 00:22:13,988
* *
618
00:22:13,988 --> 00:22:15,954
- [screams]
619
00:22:15,954 --> 00:22:18,854
- Mommy's got you, Denzel.
620
00:22:18,854 --> 00:22:21,321
* *
621
00:22:21,321 --> 00:22:23,654
- Your training as a stunt pilot
finally paid off.
622
00:22:23,654 --> 00:22:24,654
- I know, I know.
623
00:22:24,654 --> 00:22:25,654
You blame me.
624
00:22:25,654 --> 00:22:26,988
- Yes, I do.
625
00:22:26,988 --> 00:22:28,454
For helping me see
that I already have
626
00:22:28,454 --> 00:22:29,754
the woman of my dreams,
627
00:22:29,754 --> 00:22:33,321
and her name is Mother!
628
00:22:33,321 --> 00:22:34,354
A feral wolverine!
629
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:36,221
You remembered!
630
00:22:36,221 --> 00:22:37,354
And a real wolverine.
631
00:22:37,354 --> 00:22:39,088
Gah! Ah.
632
00:22:39,088 --> 00:22:40,121
Mother.
633
00:22:40,121 --> 00:22:42,488
- I love playing cupid.
634
00:22:42,488 --> 00:22:45,954
- [Hummanuh laughs]
635
00:22:45,954 --> 00:22:47,154
- Yowza.
636
00:22:47,154 --> 00:22:49,788
- Mom!
637
00:22:53,254 --> 00:22:56,254
[jazzy music]
638
00:22:56,254 --> 00:23:04,454
* *
639
00:23:13,154 --> 00:23:15,988
- Billionfold!
- Inc.
640
00:23:18,088 --> 00:23:19,088
- Frederator!