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00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,354
[jazzy music]
2
00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:10,888
- * Timmy's
still an average kid *
3
00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:13,154
* That no one understands
4
00:00:13,154 --> 00:00:15,254
* Chloe's his new neighbor *
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00:00:15,254 --> 00:00:17,688
* And she's ruining
all his plans *
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- Ahh!
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- * All the wishes
8
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* In the world
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00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:23,054
* So why should he care?
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00:00:23,054 --> 00:00:25,354
* Jorgen has reported
there's a fairy shortage *
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00:00:25,354 --> 00:00:27,554
* So Timmy has to share
12
00:00:27,554 --> 00:00:30,554
* His OddParents,
fairly OddParents *
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- More than one?
- This should be fun!
14
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- * OddParents,
fairly OddParents *
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* Feather suit, nature boots,
laser shooting, rescue *
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- World peace, kale treats,
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bunny feet, real neat!
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- What? No!
Leave me alone!
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My fairies!
Get your own!
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- * OddParents,
fairly OddParents *
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* Timmy, beware,
you'll have to share *
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* Your fairly OddParents
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- Yeah, right!
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[swinging music]
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* *
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- Okay, class,
finish turning in
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your community service reports.
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Oh, Bobby, I see
you donated a kidney.
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Show off!
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- Ow.
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- Ooh! Mr. Crocker!
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For my community service
project, I--
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- Don't care!
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Skipping ahead to the fun part
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where I get to fail Turner!
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- I did my community service.
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I bought myself a video game.
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I'm part of the community,
and I did myself a service.
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- You never disappoint
to disappoint, Turner.
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But I'm not gonna
give you an F.
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I'm gonna give you three Fs!
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'Cause I find it funny
you're failing!
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Ha!
- Ah!
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Ow!
- Timmy!
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I've been live-streaming
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all of this on Fairy-Scope.
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Keep failing--
you're starting to trend.
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- Knock it off, Cosmo.
Wait, I'm trending?
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- Let's move on to a topic
I'm excited about:
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my mother's leaving town!
[laughing]
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I give myself an F,
for "Freedom"!
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[fanfare]
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Anyhoo, occasionally the
government calls Mother in
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00:02:00,088 --> 00:02:02,854
to interrogate spies and get
them to spill the beans.
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Ironically, she does that
by serving them her beans.
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Ever have 'em?
You'd spill yours too!
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[bell ringing]
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- Uh, Mr. Crocker?
The bell rang.
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- Yes, but I'm not
finished with my rant.
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With mother gone, my cat
Girlfriend and I
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00:02:15,721 --> 00:02:17,554
are really gonna
let our hair down.
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Well, I will.
Girlfriend's hairless.
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[cat meowing]
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Now that I think about it,
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I don't have
that much hair either.
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But fingers crossed,
a Chinese man
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gave me a potion!
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[gong ringing]
Huzzah!
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[footsteps]
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Note to self: being boring
empties rooms.
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I can use that next time Mother
has her biker friends over.
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[swinging music]
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[humming]
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Isn't this fun?
[cat meowing]
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- Well, I've got
my interrogation beans
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and I'm ready to leave.
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Denzel, why are you skipping?
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- Well, it's certainly
not because
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I'm delighted to see you go.
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- Will you be okay without me?
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- Hmm, let me put it this way:
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every step you take
towards that door
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adds years to my life!
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00:03:01,754 --> 00:03:03,621
- You can do anything you want
while I'm gone.
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Except have fun.
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Also, you're strictly forbidden
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00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,854
from inviting your robot
and baby friend over.
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- You mean Foop and Dark Laser?
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00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:12,821
You make them sound weird,
Mother.
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They're my besties.
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- They're a bad influence,
Denzel.
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They're more like worsties!
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- You're the worsty, Mother!
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[cat meowing]
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Don't let the door hit you
on the way out.
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On second thought, do!
- Gah!
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I spilled the beans!
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[cat meowing]
- It's okay, Girlfriend.
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We don't need
Dark Laser and Foop.
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We can cut loose on our own.
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[clock ticking]
102
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[snoring]
Mother...
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Wow, that was the opposite
of cutting loose.
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We need help
letting our hair down.
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[cat meowing]
Relax.
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You've got to give Dr. Chang's
potion time to work.
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In the meantime, who do we know
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who actually has
hair to let down?
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- [laughing]
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- Turner!
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- I didn't do it.
I'm not even here.
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This is all in your imagination.
Don't call the police.
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- Relax, Turner.
I'm not here to punish you.
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I'm here to make a deal with you
that will benefit us both.
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- Really?
Well, maybe I am here then.
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- Then I guess we're here too!
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And we're trending again!
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- We have more viewers
than the monkey
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riding backwards on a pig.
120
00:04:15,821 --> 00:04:17,588
- Ooh, I like that video.
121
00:04:17,588 --> 00:04:19,321
The monkey wears a funny hat!
122
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I'm having fun already, and I
don't even have hair yet.
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00:04:24,088 --> 00:04:26,721
Turner, you really know how
to walk that fine line
124
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between fun and
life behind bars.
125
00:04:28,821 --> 00:04:30,821
So I need you to help
Girlfriend and me
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00:04:30,821 --> 00:04:33,088
get from here to "Fun"
through this crooked maze
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00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:35,154
of disappointment
and lost opportunity.
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00:04:35,154 --> 00:04:37,454
- One problem: I don't care
about either of you.
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So tell me,
what's in it for me?
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- Helping me will be
your community service project,
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for which I will give you a B.
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If I give you an A,
the school board
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will know the fix is in.
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- Ooh!
- Ah!
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- Speaking of community
service...
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- [hissing]
- I never got the chance
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to tell you what I did for mine.
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I actually did two projects.
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- You can make it three by
taking me to the hospital,
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because I think you just
gave me a heart attack.
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00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:00,888
- I volunteered
at the cat shelter
142
00:05:00,888 --> 00:05:03,788
and at Second Chance Seniors:
a halfway house
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00:05:03,788 --> 00:05:05,454
for the delinquent elderly.
144
00:05:05,454 --> 00:05:08,554
They were bad to their
brittle bones until I got there.
145
00:05:08,554 --> 00:05:10,988
- [grunts]
Still don't care!
146
00:05:10,988 --> 00:05:13,521
- Okay, for a B, I'll teach you
how to have fun.
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00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,521
- Ooh, you know what's fun?
Being true to yourself.
148
00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:19,121
- Get rid of the girl
and I'll give you a B+.
149
00:05:19,121 --> 00:05:21,554
- Anyway, you're new to fun,
so let's start
150
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:23,554
with something easy:
throwing a party.
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00:05:23,554 --> 00:05:25,454
- Oh, I had a party once.
152
00:05:25,454 --> 00:05:27,621
No, wait.
That wasn't me.
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00:05:27,621 --> 00:05:29,921
- I can see I'm really gonna
have to earn that B.
154
00:05:29,921 --> 00:05:33,088
Step one: pick up the phone
and invite some guests.
155
00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:34,954
- Most people have me
on call block,
156
00:05:34,954 --> 00:05:36,354
but I'll give it a shot.
157
00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:37,621
Principal Waxelplax?
158
00:05:37,621 --> 00:05:39,088
Come to my party or else!
159
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,821
- [whining]
- Oh, you're coming all right!
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I will hunt you down, woman!
161
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Sleep with one eye open!
162
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[grunts] She's a maybe.
[cat meowing]
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00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:50,621
- Ooh, if you're having a party
for you and Girlfriend,
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00:05:50,621 --> 00:05:53,321
then I have the perfect guests.
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[cat meowing]
166
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[jazzy music]
167
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- [sighs] No hair yet.
[sniffs]
168
00:06:00,354 --> 00:06:02,154
But we smell like
kung pao chicken.
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00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,754
That's something.
[doorbell ringing]
170
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,088
What's that strange sound?
171
00:06:05,088 --> 00:06:07,088
- That's your doorbell,
Mr. Crocker.
172
00:06:07,088 --> 00:06:08,588
You have guests.
- Ah!
173
00:06:08,588 --> 00:06:10,621
What do I do?
Should I hide?
174
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:14,088
- They're party guests.
Answer the door.
175
00:06:14,088 --> 00:06:16,588
[chaotic overlapping chatter]
- Ah!
176
00:06:16,588 --> 00:06:18,121
- I'm so glad
the shelter cats
177
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:20,454
and Second Chance Seniors
were free tonight.
178
00:06:20,454 --> 00:06:24,754
Taking them on an outing gets me
bonus community service points.
179
00:06:24,754 --> 00:06:26,688
Okay, everyone, remember:
180
00:06:26,688 --> 00:06:29,254
cats, don't claw the furniture.
181
00:06:29,254 --> 00:06:30,588
[meowing]
182
00:06:30,588 --> 00:06:31,888
And Second Chance Seniors,
183
00:06:31,888 --> 00:06:34,388
don't steal the furniture.
184
00:06:34,388 --> 00:06:37,488
- Whoa, looks like a zombie
movie with cats.
185
00:06:37,488 --> 00:06:38,888
- Ah!
- [laughing]
186
00:06:38,888 --> 00:06:41,421
This is the greatest party
I've ever been to.
187
00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:43,988
Actually, it's the only party
I've ever been to.
188
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:45,554
Except once, when I was
lost in the woods
189
00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:47,121
and there was a search party.
190
00:06:47,121 --> 00:06:49,121
But it turned out they were
looking for someone else.
191
00:06:49,121 --> 00:06:50,921
Mother never even
called the police.
192
00:06:50,921 --> 00:06:52,188
She was too busy flirting
193
00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:54,388
with her personal trainer,
Big Danny.
194
00:06:54,388 --> 00:06:56,921
- Psst. Mr. Crocker. Wrap it up.
- Almost done.
195
00:06:56,921 --> 00:06:58,954
I hate Big Danny!
196
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:01,788
- Mr. Crocker,
ask someone to dance.
197
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,588
[upbeat music]
198
00:07:04,588 --> 00:07:06,754
- [clears throat]
Hey Mittens,
199
00:07:06,754 --> 00:07:08,254
how about you
spit out that mouse
200
00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:10,421
and take a spin
on the dance floor?
201
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:12,254
[cat screeching]
Gah!
202
00:07:12,254 --> 00:07:14,188
[laughing]
203
00:07:14,188 --> 00:07:18,121
I have hair!
Now I'm dancing on air!
204
00:07:18,121 --> 00:07:21,088
- Wow, what a rager.
And I don't mean the party.
205
00:07:21,088 --> 00:07:24,121
I mean that Second Chance Senior
raging at the lamp.
206
00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:26,654
- No reason to sass me, lady.
207
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,221
I just asked you to dance.
208
00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:32,154
- This party is totally
trending on Fairy-Scope.
209
00:07:32,154 --> 00:07:33,721
Luckily, it's
such a freak show
210
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:35,621
that no one would want
to crash it.
211
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,788
both: Party crashers!
212
00:07:37,788 --> 00:07:38,921
- Ooh! [sniffs]
213
00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:41,088
I smell kung pao chicken
and old people.
214
00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:44,088
Or is that my cologne?
- Meow-wee, honey.
215
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:47,154
What a purr-fect
costume party.
216
00:07:47,154 --> 00:07:49,721
This is how cats talk.
- No, it isn't.
217
00:07:49,721 --> 00:07:51,088
It's hard to beat the theme:
218
00:07:51,088 --> 00:07:53,388
shelter cats and
Second Chance Seniors.
219
00:07:53,388 --> 00:07:56,221
Check me out: I'm a granny
on the lam.
220
00:07:56,221 --> 00:07:58,488
That's why I'm riding a lamb!
221
00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:00,754
- We're going viral.
222
00:08:00,754 --> 00:08:02,588
- [laughing]
223
00:08:02,588 --> 00:08:03,688
[dramatic music]
224
00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:04,988
- Space is dull.
225
00:08:04,988 --> 00:08:06,821
Look at how bored
Flipsie looks.
226
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,388
- He's not bored.
227
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,921
He's a stupid toy
and his switch is off!
228
00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:12,654
[beeps]
[barking]
229
00:08:12,654 --> 00:08:16,254
- There's the Flipsie I love.
[laughing]
230
00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:18,454
- Check out this party
on Fairy-Scope.
231
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,254
This guy's dressed
as a Second Chance Senior
232
00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:22,921
on the lam,
and he's riding a lamb!
233
00:08:22,921 --> 00:08:25,488
- Ah!
My housecoat is riding up.
234
00:08:25,488 --> 00:08:28,088
- "On the lam."
On the lamb.
235
00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:30,188
Clever.
- I don't get it.
236
00:08:30,188 --> 00:08:32,954
- He took a figure of speech
and made it literal.
237
00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:35,221
Wait a minute, that's Crocker.
238
00:08:35,221 --> 00:08:38,221
He has hair, and he's having
a party without us.
239
00:08:38,221 --> 00:08:40,821
[gasps]
He has a whole secret life.
240
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,354
That stings.
241
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:45,221
- I can handle it,
but Flipsie's devastated.
242
00:08:45,221 --> 00:08:47,488
Look at him.
243
00:08:47,488 --> 00:08:50,521
- We could write Denzel a snarky
comment on Fairy-Scope.
244
00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:51,954
- Or we could annihilate him.
245
00:08:51,954 --> 00:08:54,888
- Yes! Let's go with your thing!
246
00:08:54,888 --> 00:08:57,921
- So this is what happens
at parties when you don't hide.
247
00:08:57,921 --> 00:09:00,888
You earned that B, Turner.
248
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,888
[dramatic music]
249
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:05,588
*
250
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,521
- [evil laughter]
251
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:10,321
- Uh, I'm gonna need a guarantee
on that B.
252
00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:12,688
No backsies, even if you were,
253
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,088
let's say, uh,
254
00:09:14,088 --> 00:09:15,621
permanently disfigured?
255
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,754
- This party animal with a
glorious mane
256
00:09:17,754 --> 00:09:19,921
is gonna say "Yes."
257
00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:21,954
[suspenseful music]
258
00:09:21,954 --> 00:09:23,554
[both screaming]
259
00:09:23,554 --> 00:09:24,954
- Sorry we're late...
260
00:09:24,954 --> 00:09:27,388
to annihilate you!
261
00:09:28,454 --> 00:09:30,088
- [hissing]
262
00:09:30,088 --> 00:09:32,354
Ah!
[cat meowing]
263
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:34,088
- We're supposed to be besties.
264
00:09:34,088 --> 00:09:36,121
How could you not invite us
to your party?
265
00:09:36,121 --> 00:09:37,554
I can take the rejection,
266
00:09:37,554 --> 00:09:39,554
but Flipsie's gonna need
grief counseling.
267
00:09:39,554 --> 00:09:41,254
[crying]
[dog barking]
268
00:09:41,254 --> 00:09:43,288
- I'm sorry,
I take full responsibility
269
00:09:43,288 --> 00:09:45,688
for not inviting you, but it was
all Mommy's fault!
270
00:09:45,688 --> 00:09:47,688
Uh...my mind's going blank.
271
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,488
Does anyone else smell beans?
272
00:09:50,488 --> 00:09:52,188
[dramatic music]
273
00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:53,988
- Guys, give him a break.
274
00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:55,921
Take in the picture:
he's a weird old man
275
00:09:55,921 --> 00:09:57,988
with a hump dancing with a cat.
276
00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,121
And this is the best day
of his life!
277
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,821
- It is!
You might as well take me out
278
00:10:01,821 --> 00:10:05,288
now, because it's never gonna
get better than this.
279
00:10:05,288 --> 00:10:08,088
- Wow, this whole thing
just got sad.
280
00:10:08,088 --> 00:10:10,254
- Maybe instead of
destroying you, Denzel,
281
00:10:10,254 --> 00:10:13,454
we'll just join the party
and destroy...
282
00:10:13,454 --> 00:10:16,754
the dance floor
with our smooth moves.
283
00:10:16,754 --> 00:10:18,554
[festive music]
284
00:10:18,554 --> 00:10:20,688
- Huzzah!
285
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,521
My hair's like a mood ring.
286
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,654
Join the conga line, boys.
287
00:10:24,654 --> 00:10:27,754
*
288
00:10:27,754 --> 00:10:29,388
I feel so free!
289
00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:32,354
I'm Crockin' the house, baby!
290
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:34,388
[sniffs]
Ah! Ah! I smell beans!
291
00:10:34,388 --> 00:10:36,954
- Denzel.
- Mother. You're home early.
292
00:10:36,954 --> 00:10:39,054
- Yes, my beans cracked
a double agent
293
00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,054
before I even cracked open
the pot.
294
00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:43,088
And you disobeyed me.
295
00:10:43,088 --> 00:10:46,121
- I'm sorry, Mother.
296
00:10:46,121 --> 00:10:48,688
Sorry I didn't do this
a long time ago.
297
00:10:48,688 --> 00:10:51,354
I'm through hiding
when the doorbell rings.
298
00:10:51,354 --> 00:10:53,721
Unless it's carolers.
They freak me out.
299
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,188
No one's that happy!
300
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:58,121
Except for baby chicks.
They seem genuinely happy.
301
00:10:58,121 --> 00:10:59,621
Of course, it could be an act.
302
00:10:59,621 --> 00:11:02,154
What I'm trying to say is,
I'm a big boy
303
00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:03,888
and I'll do what I want.
304
00:11:03,888 --> 00:11:06,321
Let's party on!
305
00:11:06,321 --> 00:11:07,954
[desolate Western music]
306
00:11:07,954 --> 00:11:09,421
- You cleared the room, dear.
307
00:11:09,421 --> 00:11:12,221
But you're right: you are
a big boy now,
308
00:11:12,221 --> 00:11:15,188
and I'm actually glad
to see you so happy.
309
00:11:15,188 --> 00:11:17,988
- Really? You're not gonna
make me eat beans?
310
00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:20,988
- No, but I would like
the last dance.
311
00:11:20,988 --> 00:11:22,621
- Hmm.
I'll take the beans!
312
00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:23,921
[cat meowing]
313
00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:26,288
- Everyone, single file
onto the bus.
314
00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:27,821
And don't break a hip.
315
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,788
- After-party on
the Death Cruiser!
316
00:11:29,788 --> 00:11:32,921
[cheering]
317
00:11:34,488 --> 00:11:36,588
[swinging music]
318
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:38,954
- I'm gonna get in a lot of
trouble for this.
319
00:11:38,954 --> 00:11:40,854
- Who cares?
I got a B!
320
00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:42,688
- I'm on the lamb!
321
00:11:42,688 --> 00:11:45,288
[cat meowing]
- Beans!
322
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,221
*
323
00:11:48,921 --> 00:11:51,921
[La Cucaracha]
324
00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:58,288
* *
325
00:11:58,288 --> 00:11:59,721
[bright music]
326
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:00,954
[air horn blaring]
327
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:04,721
- Attention, citizens of
Dimmsdale!
328
00:12:04,721 --> 00:12:06,354
Today is the day that I,
329
00:12:06,354 --> 00:12:09,088
Chloe Mahatma Gandhi
Carol Burnett Carmichael,
330
00:12:09,088 --> 00:12:11,721
will break the all-time
international
331
00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:15,354
perfect school
attendance record.
332
00:12:16,621 --> 00:12:17,621
[whistling]
333
00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:18,854
Ah!
334
00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:20,121
Whoever you are,
you can't stop me
335
00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:21,121
from getting to school.
336
00:12:21,121 --> 00:12:22,588
I'll just chew my way
337
00:12:22,588 --> 00:12:23,754
out of this net.
338
00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,454
[chomping]
339
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:26,888
- Hey, it's me.
340
00:12:26,888 --> 00:12:28,454
I wanted to catch you
before you left for school,
341
00:12:28,454 --> 00:12:29,954
and I figured the only
way to do that
342
00:12:29,954 --> 00:12:31,488
was with an actual net.
343
00:12:31,488 --> 00:12:33,454
- [growling]
344
00:12:33,454 --> 00:12:34,288
Ha!
345
00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,621
Ah!
[crashing]
346
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:36,821
- Anyway, I came to tell you
347
00:12:36,821 --> 00:12:38,188
there's no school today.
348
00:12:38,188 --> 00:12:39,521
And also, did you just chew
349
00:12:39,521 --> 00:12:41,821
through a high-density
carbon fiber net?
350
00:12:41,821 --> 00:12:43,154
- [slurps]
I'd chew through
351
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:45,088
a brick wall to get
to school, Timmy.
352
00:12:45,088 --> 00:12:46,921
You know that.
- Yes, I do.
353
00:12:46,921 --> 00:12:49,788
Anyway, didn't you get the
robo-call from Mr. Crocker?
354
00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:53,321
- No, yesterday was No
Technology Tuesday at my house.
355
00:12:53,321 --> 00:12:55,421
We turned off our phones,
sat in a circle,
356
00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:58,221
and passed around
the talking stick.
357
00:12:58,221 --> 00:13:02,288
- Wow, that's a whole new level
of Carmichael cray-cray.
358
00:13:02,288 --> 00:13:03,954
Anyway, school's cancelled today
because of some kind
359
00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:06,688
of stupid teacher seminar
or some other stupid thing.
360
00:13:06,688 --> 00:13:08,821
- Hello, dullards
and parents of dullards.
361
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,621
School's cancelled today
because of some kind
362
00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:13,388
or stupid teacher seminar or
some other stupid thing.
363
00:13:13,388 --> 00:13:16,521
Get out of my room, Mother.
I'm talking to my friends.
364
00:13:16,521 --> 00:13:18,454
Eh, their names?
Um...
365
00:13:18,454 --> 00:13:20,388
That's none of your business.
That's it!
366
00:13:20,388 --> 00:13:22,821
You're washing
your own hair tonight.
367
00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,388
- This call will repeat.
368
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:25,721
- No school?
369
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,621
I-I always go to school.
Ah!
370
00:13:27,621 --> 00:13:30,188
Even on weekends--eeh!
And holidays.
371
00:13:30,188 --> 00:13:31,888
I go just to touch it.
Ah!
372
00:13:31,888 --> 00:13:34,154
Timmy, I need to touch it.
373
00:13:34,154 --> 00:13:36,888
- I know what will take
your mind off school.
374
00:13:36,888 --> 00:13:38,788
Cosmo. Wanda.
375
00:13:38,788 --> 00:13:40,121
- Ah!
376
00:13:40,121 --> 00:13:41,721
Ah!
- Chloe.
377
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,754
There's an obvious answer
you're overlooking:
378
00:13:43,754 --> 00:13:47,454
tacos!
[laughing]
379
00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:48,254
- Ah!
380
00:13:48,254 --> 00:13:49,788
["La Cucaracha"]
381
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,488
- Ha ha!
382
00:13:52,688 --> 00:13:54,288
Okay, so tacos
aren't that obvious,
383
00:13:54,288 --> 00:13:56,121
but still,
you got to love 'em,
384
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:58,188
so I want you to come with me
to the grand opening
385
00:13:58,188 --> 00:13:59,854
of the single greatest
taco chain
386
00:13:59,854 --> 00:14:03,154
in the known universe:
Taco the Town.
387
00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:05,488
- I don't like tacos, but that
is a clever food pun.
388
00:14:05,488 --> 00:14:07,721
- Well, things are about to get
even clever-er,
389
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,388
'cause they're giving away a
free taco to every customer.
390
00:14:10,388 --> 00:14:13,221
And since you don't like tacos,
I'll get yours.
391
00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:15,688
It's a win-win, and I win twice.
392
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,088
- [sighs] Very well.
393
00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:19,888
I will escort you to your taco
establishment, Timmy.
394
00:14:19,888 --> 00:14:23,254
But just know, my heart will
always be in the classroom.
395
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,854
- Chloe, if you want to keep
learning today,
396
00:14:25,854 --> 00:14:27,754
Cosmo and I can quiz you.
397
00:14:27,754 --> 00:14:30,554
- Pop quiz! What came first?
The chicken or the egg?
398
00:14:30,554 --> 00:14:32,321
- That's really more of
a philosophical question--
399
00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:34,188
- Wrong!
- Class dismissed.
400
00:14:34,188 --> 00:14:36,288
It's taco time.
401
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:39,654
- Chet Ubetcha reporting live
402
00:14:39,654 --> 00:14:41,721
from the grand opening
of Taco the Town.
403
00:14:41,721 --> 00:14:44,088
I'm here with
the Taco the Town mascot,
404
00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:45,821
Paco the Taco the Town Clown.
405
00:14:45,821 --> 00:14:47,288
[horn honking]
406
00:14:47,288 --> 00:14:49,954
What do you know.
That was salsa in your flower.
407
00:14:49,954 --> 00:14:52,221
Ha ha, a spicy twist
on on old standard.
408
00:14:52,221 --> 00:14:56,088
In related news,
ouch-chi-wa-wa that burns!
409
00:14:58,454 --> 00:15:01,221
- Pop quiz, Chloe:
what am I gonna order?
410
00:15:01,221 --> 00:15:03,088
- I don't know.
- Wrong.
411
00:15:03,088 --> 00:15:05,254
The answer is
Frank Sinatra's car.
412
00:15:05,254 --> 00:15:07,854
- Just order!
I need to touch school.
413
00:15:07,854 --> 00:15:10,421
I'm getting the twitch.
414
00:15:10,421 --> 00:15:12,354
- Okay, let's see
what I want.
415
00:15:12,354 --> 00:15:14,321
There's so many taco choices.
416
00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:16,321
The Pork-o Vallarta,
The Chick-Ensenada,
417
00:15:16,321 --> 00:15:17,754
The Cheese-en Itza.
418
00:15:17,754 --> 00:15:20,088
- Garcon, I'll take
Frank Sinatra's car.
419
00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:21,388
With low-fat guac.
420
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,088
- Whoa, floating customer.
421
00:15:24,088 --> 00:15:26,088
- Just order!
I have to touch the school
422
00:15:26,088 --> 00:15:28,088
before sundown
or it doesn't count.
423
00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:30,121
- Oh, Timmy!
424
00:15:30,121 --> 00:15:33,254
Toot, toot!
Here comes the dummy train.
425
00:15:33,254 --> 00:15:35,388
Cutsies!
I have ten wooden friends
426
00:15:35,388 --> 00:15:36,788
who are totally alive and real,
427
00:15:36,788 --> 00:15:39,388
and they all want
their free tacos.
428
00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:41,088
Isn't that right, Loud Larry?
429
00:15:41,088 --> 00:15:43,388
[shouting]
You got that right, Timmy's dad!
430
00:15:43,388 --> 00:15:44,854
And you're not just using us
431
00:15:44,854 --> 00:15:47,188
to scam free tacos for yourself.
432
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:49,254
Keep your voice down, Larry.
433
00:15:49,254 --> 00:15:50,654
Oh, it's so convenient for me
434
00:15:50,654 --> 00:15:53,188
to have so many
taco-loving friends.
435
00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:55,221
Farmer Ben likes his spicy.
436
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,388
[phony country accent]
Yee-haw, city slicker!
437
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:59,854
Spicy puts a hitch
in my giddy-up!
438
00:15:59,854 --> 00:16:02,321
And Penelope loves tacos,
439
00:16:02,321 --> 00:16:04,354
but doesn't like
to eat with her hands.
440
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,221
[high-pitched voice]
Oh, it's uncivilized!
441
00:16:06,221 --> 00:16:08,988
I use a knife and fork
like a proper lady.
442
00:16:08,988 --> 00:16:10,721
Ooh, what a snob, huh?
443
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:13,888
- I don't know what's happening,
but please order.
444
00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:16,988
Must. Touch. School.
- You're weird!
445
00:16:16,988 --> 00:16:19,621
Isn't that right, Astronaut Bob?
[imitates radio buzz]
446
00:16:19,621 --> 00:16:21,688
Houston, we have a problem.
[imitates radio buzz]
447
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:24,221
That's a cliché, Astronaut Bob.
448
00:16:24,221 --> 00:16:27,221
Oh, how did you ever get into
the space program.
449
00:16:27,221 --> 00:16:29,188
[bell ringing]
450
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:30,788
- Wait. What was that?
451
00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:32,188
I might be going cuckoo,
452
00:16:32,188 --> 00:16:34,821
but I thought I heard
the recess bell at school.
453
00:16:34,821 --> 00:16:36,088
- [guilty laughter]
454
00:16:36,088 --> 00:16:37,588
Well, you probably
are going cuckoo,
455
00:16:37,588 --> 00:16:39,154
'cause, uh, there's
no school today.
456
00:16:39,154 --> 00:16:40,154
Right, Cosmo?
457
00:16:40,154 --> 00:16:42,088
- Ooh, big taco!
458
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,854
[chomping]
459
00:16:43,854 --> 00:16:47,354
- Breaking news: my hat's being
eaten by a mystical creature.
460
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:50,088
- Hey, there's a hair
in my taco.
461
00:16:50,088 --> 00:16:51,988
You'll be hearing
from my lawyer.
462
00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:53,521
- I've got a lawyer right here.
463
00:16:53,521 --> 00:16:55,388
Isn't that right, Sid Woodman?
464
00:16:55,388 --> 00:16:57,254
I'll see you in court!
465
00:16:57,254 --> 00:16:58,988
Ooh, don't trust Sid Woodman.
466
00:16:58,988 --> 00:17:00,688
He's an ambulance chaser.
467
00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:04,121
- And another thing:
if there's no school today,
468
00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:05,554
shouldn't there be kids here?
469
00:17:05,554 --> 00:17:07,354
[desolate Western music]
470
00:17:07,354 --> 00:17:08,954
Most kids love tacos.
471
00:17:08,954 --> 00:17:10,688
- There are kids!
472
00:17:10,688 --> 00:17:13,988
Mrs. Dubois brought her whole
brood of wooden children.
473
00:17:13,988 --> 00:17:16,988
[Southern belle voice] I do
declare, I did, Timmy's Dad.
474
00:17:16,988 --> 00:17:18,854
And you are a handsome man.
475
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:20,921
Oh, you are giving me
the vapors.
476
00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:24,254
Please, Mrs. Dubois,
this is a family establishment.
477
00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:26,454
[Southern belle voice] I'm
sorry, but my husband's
478
00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:29,421
been off for so very long,
fighting those Yankees.
479
00:17:29,421 --> 00:17:31,788
You mean the baseball team?
- Wow.
480
00:17:31,788 --> 00:17:35,421
Okay, back on planet Earth,
where are the kids?
481
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,554
And I mean non-puppet kids.
482
00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:39,521
- [inaudible whispering]
483
00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:40,988
I don't know what you're
talking about, Chloe.
484
00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:44,688
There's a bunch of kids
right over there.
485
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,654
- What are we doing here?
We're supposed to be in school.
486
00:17:47,654 --> 00:17:49,588
- I'd stay for tacos,
but there are
487
00:17:49,588 --> 00:17:53,088
too many dummies in line
ahead of us.
488
00:17:53,088 --> 00:17:56,088
- Hmm, something's fishy...
489
00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:58,488
- Fish tacos!
490
00:17:58,488 --> 00:18:00,921
- I'd like my free taco, please.
491
00:18:00,921 --> 00:18:03,688
And my friend's, 'cause she's a
taco-hating school toucher.
492
00:18:03,688 --> 00:18:06,821
I'm really hungry, so which is
the quickest to make?
493
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:11,588
- Uh, Pork-o Vallarta
and the Chick-Ensenada.
494
00:18:11,588 --> 00:18:13,354
- Then I'll take
the Cheese-en Itza.
495
00:18:13,354 --> 00:18:15,288
- Timmy, why are you stalling?
496
00:18:15,288 --> 00:18:17,554
Something weird
is going on here.
497
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:19,254
- Well, yeah, my dad's playing
Connect-the-Dots
498
00:18:19,254 --> 00:18:22,621
on a Taco the Town place mat
with a dummy in a space helmet.
499
00:18:22,621 --> 00:18:25,521
- Look, Astronaut Bob!
We made a sombrero!
500
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,421
[imitates radio buzz]
Houston, we have a sombrero.
501
00:18:28,421 --> 00:18:29,921
- I'm not talking about
your dad, Timmy.
502
00:18:29,921 --> 00:18:32,888
He's always weird,
but if I didn't know better,
503
00:18:32,888 --> 00:18:34,454
I would think you were
selfish enough
504
00:18:34,454 --> 00:18:36,388
to like about school
being cancelled
505
00:18:36,388 --> 00:18:39,388
to drag me here just so you
could get an extra taco.
506
00:18:40,388 --> 00:18:41,521
You hesitated!
507
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,954
Why did you hesitate?
508
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,321
- Uh, tacos are up.
509
00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:45,688
- Yah!
510
00:18:45,688 --> 00:18:47,521
Tell me the truth, Timmy Turner,
511
00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:50,254
or you'll never see
these tacos again.
512
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,388
- Ah! Stay calm, Chloe.
513
00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:54,821
Step away from the tacos.
514
00:18:54,821 --> 00:18:56,921
- Ooh, that's very interesting.
515
00:18:56,921 --> 00:19:00,388
Tell Chloe what you just told
me, Truant Officer Mike.
516
00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:01,654
[Irish accent]
There's school today,
517
00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:03,888
and you're playing hooky,
little missy.
518
00:19:03,888 --> 00:19:06,188
I'd expect it
of Timmy Turner here...
519
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,354
- Ah!
520
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,821
- But not the likes of you,
521
00:19:08,821 --> 00:19:11,421
Chloe Mahatma Gandhi
Carol Burnett Carmichael.
522
00:19:11,421 --> 00:19:12,788
- [gasps] Timmy, did you hear
523
00:19:12,788 --> 00:19:14,488
what Truant Officer Mike
just said?
524
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:17,721
School's in session.
I was right.
525
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,688
You jeopardized my chance to set
the all-time international
526
00:19:20,688 --> 00:19:21,954
perfect school attendance record
527
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:24,088
by twisting the truth
to get tacos.
528
00:19:24,088 --> 00:19:26,554
You're a taco-tricking
truth twister.
529
00:19:26,554 --> 00:19:29,354
- That is harsh,
but right on target.
530
00:19:29,354 --> 00:19:30,654
- I can still make it to school
531
00:19:30,654 --> 00:19:32,188
before the final bell
and set that record.
532
00:19:32,188 --> 00:19:34,654
Ooh, and when I get there,
I'm gonna totally
533
00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:36,288
rat you out for playing hooky.
534
00:19:36,288 --> 00:19:38,888
Timmy Turner, get ready to spend
the rest of the year
535
00:19:38,888 --> 00:19:41,221
in detention listening
to Mr. Crocker
536
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,488
read from his dream journal.
537
00:19:43,488 --> 00:19:45,988
I hear it's mostly screaming.
538
00:19:45,988 --> 00:19:49,288
[dramatic music]
539
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,321
- No!
[crying]
540
00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:54,488
- Cosmo, Wanda,
poof me to school.
541
00:19:54,488 --> 00:19:56,321
Just do it!
542
00:19:57,954 --> 00:20:01,821
Ha, nothing can stop me
from getting to school now.
543
00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:04,321
- Want to bet?
Cosmo. Wanda.
544
00:20:04,321 --> 00:20:06,788
Poof up a kitten
stuck in a tree.
545
00:20:08,354 --> 00:20:09,421
[cat meowing]
546
00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:11,588
- [gasps] Except for that.
547
00:20:11,588 --> 00:20:14,721
[triumphant music]
548
00:20:14,721 --> 00:20:16,854
- Poof up a pile of trash.
549
00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:20,488
- Oh, no! Litter!
550
00:20:20,488 --> 00:20:22,821
Oh, you have a sick mind,
Timmy Turner.
551
00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:26,254
Trash, recycle, trash, recycle,
trash, recycle--compost!
552
00:20:26,254 --> 00:20:28,054
* *
553
00:20:28,054 --> 00:20:30,288
- No one wins in a wish fight,
Chloe.
554
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:33,521
Except me! Ha!
Cosmo, Wanda--
555
00:20:33,521 --> 00:20:36,721
- I wish Timmy was a troll and
that he can't un-wish my wish.
556
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:40,721
- Ah!
[garbling]
557
00:20:40,721 --> 00:20:43,488
- I don't think you're
winning, Timmy.
558
00:20:43,488 --> 00:20:44,821
- I'm sorry I'm late,
Mr. Crocker.
559
00:20:44,821 --> 00:20:46,254
But it was all Timmy's fault.
560
00:20:46,254 --> 00:20:48,054
He selfishly convinced me
there was no school
561
00:20:48,054 --> 00:20:50,788
so he could get an extra free
taco at Taco the Town.
562
00:20:50,788 --> 00:20:52,788
So whip our your dream journal
563
00:20:52,788 --> 00:20:54,921
and give him a lifetime
of detention.
564
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,088
Uh, most importantly,
because I was tricked,
565
00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:59,454
but still made it to school
before the day was over,
566
00:20:59,454 --> 00:21:01,554
I technically broke the all-time
567
00:21:01,554 --> 00:21:03,421
international perfect
attendance record.
568
00:21:03,421 --> 00:21:06,988
I'm touching school!
[giddy laughter]
569
00:21:06,988 --> 00:21:09,154
- Wow, you've gone totally
around the bend.
570
00:21:09,154 --> 00:21:11,921
You probably could have used
a day off over the years.
571
00:21:11,921 --> 00:21:14,088
- I almost got one,
thanks to Timmy:
572
00:21:14,088 --> 00:21:15,921
the most selfish, horrible
former friend
573
00:21:15,921 --> 00:21:18,088
in the known
and unknown universe.
574
00:21:18,088 --> 00:21:19,654
Including black holes!
575
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:22,254
- Okay, brace yourself
for the weirdest thing
576
00:21:22,254 --> 00:21:23,854
you've ever heard me say:
577
00:21:23,854 --> 00:21:26,321
eh, Turner was actually
the good guy here.
578
00:21:26,321 --> 00:21:27,854
Ah, that stung!
579
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,088
- What?
580
00:21:30,088 --> 00:21:31,854
all: Surprise!
581
00:21:31,854 --> 00:21:33,654
- Congratulations
for officially breaking
582
00:21:33,654 --> 00:21:35,988
the all-time international
attendance record.
583
00:21:35,988 --> 00:21:37,888
I don't see the thrill
personally,
584
00:21:37,888 --> 00:21:39,688
but it's your life to waste.
585
00:21:39,688 --> 00:21:41,888
Bring in the cake!
586
00:21:41,888 --> 00:21:44,588
[lively music]
587
00:21:44,588 --> 00:21:46,321
You see, it took all morning
to set up
588
00:21:46,321 --> 00:21:49,554
your surprise celebration party,
so Turner volunteered
589
00:21:49,554 --> 00:21:51,621
to distract you
with the taco thing.
590
00:21:51,621 --> 00:21:53,354
I said you were too smart
to fall for it,
591
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,888
but apparently I was wrong.
592
00:21:54,888 --> 00:21:57,821
- I'm so happy and humiliated
at the same time.
593
00:21:57,821 --> 00:22:00,088
I'm happ-imiliated.
594
00:22:00,088 --> 00:22:02,421
Oh, I've got to apologize
to Timmy.
595
00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:03,621
Where is he?
596
00:22:03,621 --> 00:22:05,321
- [garbling]
597
00:22:05,321 --> 00:22:06,621
- Ah! It's a troll!
598
00:22:06,621 --> 00:22:08,854
Run for the hills!
This is a nightmare!
599
00:22:08,854 --> 00:22:11,554
It's going in my dream journal.
I need a pen.
600
00:22:11,554 --> 00:22:12,954
[screaming]
601
00:22:12,954 --> 00:22:15,721
- Oh, Timmy.
I'm so sorry.
602
00:22:15,721 --> 00:22:17,521
I never should have suggested
that you'd put
603
00:22:17,521 --> 00:22:19,154
tacos before our friendship.
604
00:22:19,154 --> 00:22:21,354
Although, in my defense,
it is kind of believable.
605
00:22:21,354 --> 00:22:23,521
- [garbling]
606
00:22:23,521 --> 00:22:25,688
- We're sorry
we tricked you, Chloe.
607
00:22:25,688 --> 00:22:28,088
- Wait, we were tricking her?
608
00:22:28,088 --> 00:22:30,154
- Who wants cake?
609
00:22:30,154 --> 00:22:33,521
[chomping]
610
00:22:33,521 --> 00:22:34,854
- Mm, mm.
611
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,888
I know we're just
sharing a taco,
612
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:40,621
Mrs. Dubois,
but this feels wrong.
613
00:22:44,754 --> 00:22:47,754
[jazzy music]
614
00:22:47,754 --> 00:22:55,888
*
615
00:23:04,754 --> 00:23:08,088
- * Billionfold!
- Inc.!
616
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:11,088
- Federator!