1 00:00:01,065 --> 00:00:03,938 [jazzy music] 2 00:00:04,068 --> 00:00:09,291 ♪ 3 00:00:11,206 --> 00:00:14,078 - It took six months, but I'm finally gonna finish 4 00:00:14,209 --> 00:00:16,298 this useless tower of cards! 5 00:00:16,429 --> 00:00:17,865 [air horn blows] [screams] 6 00:00:17,995 --> 00:00:19,432 - Surprise, Timmy! 7 00:00:21,347 --> 00:00:22,391 - Aah! 8 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,874 My wasted time is now a waste of time! 9 00:00:27,004 --> 00:00:29,093 - Happy friend-aversary! 10 00:00:29,224 --> 00:00:30,051 - Eh, that's a thing? 11 00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:32,488 - It is if I say it is! 12 00:00:32,619 --> 00:00:36,187 - Hey, guys, I sound like this now because I'm full of helium. 13 00:00:36,318 --> 00:00:37,841 - You always sound like that. 14 00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,975 - Are you saying I've always been a balloon? 15 00:00:41,105 --> 00:00:43,717 Why didn't somebody tell me? 16 00:00:43,847 --> 00:00:46,154 - Anyway, in honor of our three-month anniversary 17 00:00:46,285 --> 00:00:49,026 of being best friends in the whole wide world, 18 00:00:49,157 --> 00:00:52,247 I got us matching high powered binoculars with night-vision! 19 00:00:52,378 --> 00:00:54,399 - Weird choice of gift, but hey, they'll be perfect for sneaking 20 00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:56,904 into Mr. Crocker's room at night and rearranging his furniture. 21 00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:59,254 I can see it now... 22 00:00:59,385 --> 00:01:01,996 - [snores] 23 00:01:02,126 --> 00:01:04,781 Gah! Someone put my bed on the ceiling! 24 00:01:04,912 --> 00:01:06,653 Gah, mother! 25 00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:09,133 - Actually, I was thinking we use the binoculars 26 00:01:09,264 --> 00:01:10,657 to go owl watching. 27 00:01:10,787 --> 00:01:13,268 Did you know there are over 250 28 00:01:13,399 --> 00:01:15,183 species of owls in the world? 29 00:01:15,314 --> 00:01:17,011 My goal is to see all of them. 30 00:01:17,141 --> 00:01:22,321 Not just the species, but every single owl! 31 00:01:22,451 --> 00:01:24,975 - As my friend-aversary gift to you, I will let you do 32 00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:27,258 the weird owl thing on your own and then tell me about it 33 00:01:27,282 --> 00:01:29,153 while I rearrange Mr. Crocker's furniture. 34 00:01:29,284 --> 00:01:33,462 - I hate Weird Owl and his terrible bird song parodies, 35 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,377 especially "Owl I Need is a Miracle." 36 00:01:35,508 --> 00:01:38,337 It's a miracle you ever got a record deal, Weird Owl. 37 00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:41,035 Ooh, look, a box of nails. 38 00:01:41,165 --> 00:01:44,995 Yay, nails are fun! 39 00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:46,170 [together] Aah! 40 00:01:46,301 --> 00:01:47,824 - Oh, Timmy! 41 00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:49,870 This is the greatest day ever. 42 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,698 [both scream] 43 00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:53,458 In honor of being chosen as the newest member of 44 00:01:53,482 --> 00:01:55,223 the Fancy Schmancy Country Club, 45 00:01:55,354 --> 00:01:58,444 I'm the centerfold in "Filthy Rich Magazine"! 46 00:01:58,574 --> 00:02:01,925 - Congratulations, Timmy's Dad, for being so schmancy and all. 47 00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:04,101 - Yeah, congrats, Dad. More importantly, 48 00:02:04,232 --> 00:02:05,992 how can we make your schmanciness work for me? 49 00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:07,540 - Duh! 50 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:09,106 Your whole life will be schmancier! 51 00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:12,153 But with great schmanciness comes great responsibility. 52 00:02:12,283 --> 00:02:14,416 Now that everyone knows we're in the country club, 53 00:02:14,547 --> 00:02:17,854 they're going to expect us to live the filthy rich lifestyle! 54 00:02:17,985 --> 00:02:20,335 First up, renovating our lake house! 55 00:02:20,466 --> 00:02:21,815 - But we don't have a lake house. 56 00:02:21,945 --> 00:02:25,035 - We do now, Timmy. I flooded our street. 57 00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:26,166 [both gasp] 58 00:02:27,821 --> 00:02:29,475 [laughs] 59 00:02:29,605 --> 00:02:32,826 How do you like my solid gold, noise-polluting jet ski, hmm? 60 00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:35,655 It runs on the sweat of the less fancy schmancy! 61 00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:37,178 [vroom] 62 00:02:37,308 --> 00:02:39,659 - Your dad seems to have gotten the schmancy thing down, 63 00:02:39,789 --> 00:02:42,009 but the responsibility part, not so much. 64 00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:44,179 Although he was responsible for flooding the street. 65 00:02:44,228 --> 00:02:45,534 [both scream] 66 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,840 - Yeah, let's ponder that 67 00:02:46,970 --> 00:02:48,078 at the all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet 68 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,712 at the country club. 69 00:02:49,843 --> 00:02:51,168 - Even though I would prefer fruit-sweetened 70 00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:53,237 ice milk, I'm in! 71 00:02:53,368 --> 00:02:56,284 - Oh, no, you're not! Don't take this the wrong way, 72 00:02:56,415 --> 00:02:59,113 Kelly, but they won't let you in, being that you're low-rent 73 00:02:59,243 --> 00:03:00,767 riffraff and all. 74 00:03:00,897 --> 00:03:02,617 Can I borrow some sweat to power my jet ski? 75 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,728 - Uncool, schmancy Dad. That riffraff is my best friend. 76 00:03:05,859 --> 00:03:07,426 - Yeah! - Oh, please, Timmy. 77 00:03:07,556 --> 00:03:09,645 She lives in a flooded-out dump! 78 00:03:09,776 --> 00:03:11,386 [together] You flooded it! 79 00:03:11,517 --> 00:03:13,597 - Is this climate change or just the work of an idiot 80 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,085 who flooded the street? 81 00:03:15,216 --> 00:03:17,261 - It's the work of an idiot, thank you. 82 00:03:17,392 --> 00:03:19,263 A rich idiot--so there! 83 00:03:19,394 --> 00:03:22,223 - Chloe Wolfgang Puck Captain And Tennille Carmichael, 84 00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:24,617 get away from that rich idiot, and doggie paddle 85 00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:26,401 to your co-parents. 86 00:03:26,532 --> 00:03:28,640 - But Timmy and I want to celebrate out friend-aversary. 87 00:03:28,664 --> 00:03:31,754 - Uh-uh, listen to your mother. The Turners are a bad influence. 88 00:03:31,885 --> 00:03:34,540 They are selfish, snobby, and some naughty words 89 00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:36,237 your mother won't let me say. 90 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:39,153 - And unlike Mr. Turner, we don't flaunt our money. 91 00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,589 We give it to Charity... 92 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,417 the crazy cat lady who lives in her car. 93 00:03:42,548 --> 00:03:45,376 [cats meowing] - Ugh, this sack feels light. 94 00:03:45,507 --> 00:03:47,553 - Come, Chloe, your friendship with Tommy is over. 95 00:03:47,683 --> 00:03:49,119 - Aah! - Come, Tommy! 96 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,650 - Aah! - Your friendship with Shonda 97 00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:52,166 is over! - I don't know who 98 00:03:52,296 --> 00:03:53,816 Tommy and Shonda are, but I don't think 99 00:03:53,863 --> 00:03:56,257 we'll be celebrating our friend-aversary, Chloe. 100 00:03:56,387 --> 00:03:58,564 - Bye, Timmy. 101 00:03:58,694 --> 00:04:01,131 [solemn music] 102 00:04:01,262 --> 00:04:04,004 [sprightly music] 103 00:04:04,134 --> 00:04:05,788 - Aah! 104 00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:08,878 - Timmy, I know you miss your riffraff friend, Chantal, 105 00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:11,315 but you'll forget all about her once you get a taste of 106 00:04:11,446 --> 00:04:13,709 the Fancy Schmancy Country Club. 107 00:04:15,145 --> 00:04:17,060 [spitting] 108 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,908 And I mean that literally, because the kids' area has 109 00:04:18,932 --> 00:04:21,195 a hot tub full of mac 'n cheese! 110 00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:23,023 Go on, taste it, Timmy! 111 00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:25,547 - Yes! Boo-yah! 112 00:04:25,678 --> 00:04:28,463 [laughs] [munching] 113 00:04:28,594 --> 00:04:30,857 I have to admit, this is the best hot tub mac 'n cheese 114 00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:32,685 I've ever had while wearing a tuxedo. 115 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:36,427 - Oh, Timmy, things get so much schmancier! 116 00:04:36,558 --> 00:04:39,126 There's a root beer lazy river, a room where you get dipped 117 00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:42,695 in gold, and, if you survive, virtual reality game helmets 118 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,958 with your favorite game: "Hillbilly Road Rage"! 119 00:04:45,088 --> 00:04:46,307 - Yeehaw! 120 00:04:46,437 --> 00:04:48,396 - It's like I'm really in the game! 121 00:04:48,527 --> 00:04:49,179 [sniffs] I can actually 122 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:50,659 smell the hillbillies! 123 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,314 - [squeals] Ooh, ah, ooh, whee! 124 00:04:53,444 --> 00:04:57,579 I'm in a money monsoon! I feel so schmancy. 125 00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:00,103 Gimme, gimme, gimme! Ow--paper cut. 126 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,820 - I can't let your mother have all the fun. 127 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,454 I'm gonna go dip myself in gold! 128 00:05:03,585 --> 00:05:05,631 See ya later... maybe! 129 00:05:05,761 --> 00:05:07,609 - Normally, I'd be lovin' sitting here in a vat of 130 00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:10,418 warm cheese, but there's something missing. 131 00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:12,159 [knocking] 132 00:05:12,289 --> 00:05:13,682 Chloe! - Timmy! 133 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,815 What kind of friend-aversary is this? 134 00:05:15,945 --> 00:05:18,165 We only have six hours left to celebrate. 135 00:05:18,295 --> 00:05:21,560 It's been so lonely owl watching without you! 136 00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:24,258 - Not to mention terrifying. Who knew? 137 00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:27,130 Owls attack you when you try and pet their babies. 138 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,784 [owl hooting] 139 00:05:28,915 --> 00:05:30,196 - Yeah, the whole owl thing is nuts. 140 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,981 We should sneak you inside, so we can celebrate 141 00:05:32,005 --> 00:05:34,747 our friend-aversary here. Cosmo, poof Chloe into 142 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:37,097 a fancy schmancy disguise. 143 00:05:37,227 --> 00:05:40,666 [ping] - Ah! 144 00:05:40,796 --> 00:05:43,059 - My bad--when I said Cosmo, I meant Wanda. 145 00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:44,190 [ping] 146 00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:48,064 [alarm blares] - Riffraff Alert. 147 00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:49,936 Riffraff Alert. 148 00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:53,243 - Eh--get in the safe room! There's been a riffraff breach! 149 00:05:53,374 --> 00:05:57,291 [dramatic music] 150 00:05:57,421 --> 00:06:00,816 Timmy, I told you not to hang out with that Clarice girl. 151 00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:02,862 - No, you told me not to hang out with Chantel! 152 00:06:02,992 --> 00:06:05,125 But her name is Chloe, and she's my best friend! 153 00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:07,867 - You're fancy schmancy now. You need to hang out with 154 00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:10,652 schmancy and sophisticated people like me. 155 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,917 Ooh, look, my underpants are gold! 156 00:06:15,048 --> 00:06:16,092 [laughs] 157 00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:19,052 - [hooting] - [sighs] 158 00:06:19,182 --> 00:06:21,271 I just spotted my 200th species of owl, 159 00:06:21,402 --> 00:06:24,492 but it's just not the same without Timmy here being bored. 160 00:06:24,623 --> 00:06:26,407 - [yawns] I don't know. 161 00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:29,802 I think I've been doing a pretty good job filling in for him. 162 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,674 - Well, speaking of owls, Weird Owl's Christmas album 163 00:06:32,805 --> 00:06:35,111 is the worst! I particularly hate 164 00:06:35,242 --> 00:06:38,071 "Owl I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth." 165 00:06:38,201 --> 00:06:41,465 Owls don't even have teeth! What nerve--I hate them! 166 00:06:41,596 --> 00:06:42,858 [splat] 167 00:06:42,989 --> 00:06:43,598 - Hello? 168 00:06:43,729 --> 00:06:44,860 - Oof. 169 00:06:44,991 --> 00:06:45,818 - Sorry. 170 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,210 Chloe, I'm here to celebrate 171 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,473 our friend-aversary. We still have a few hours 172 00:06:49,604 --> 00:06:51,301 of stupid owl time left before it's dark, 173 00:06:51,432 --> 00:06:53,695 and we can do the fun furniture thing with Mr. Crocker. 174 00:06:53,826 --> 00:06:56,872 - Oh, Timmy, you left your schmancy life for me? 175 00:06:57,003 --> 00:07:00,006 And are those golden underpants you're holding? 176 00:07:00,136 --> 00:07:01,921 - Yeah, they're your friend-aversary present. 177 00:07:02,051 --> 00:07:03,966 You can buy an un-flooded house with them. 178 00:07:04,097 --> 00:07:06,142 I had to use a crow bar to get 'em off my dad. 179 00:07:06,273 --> 00:07:08,101 - Ooh, or I could give them to Charity! 180 00:07:08,231 --> 00:07:11,147 [cats meowing] 181 00:07:12,714 --> 00:07:14,121 - What, no matching gold socks? 182 00:07:15,151 --> 00:07:16,283 Cheap-Os! 183 00:07:16,413 --> 00:07:18,459 - Cosmo, Wanda, poof me up to Chloe! 184 00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,069 - They can't hear you, Timmy. 185 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,202 Wanda's asleep and Cosmo's hate-listening 186 00:07:22,332 --> 00:07:24,508 to Weird Owl. Climb up this lanyard 187 00:07:24,639 --> 00:07:27,294 I made at Over Achievers camp. 188 00:07:27,424 --> 00:07:30,732 [fanfare] 189 00:07:30,863 --> 00:07:32,952 - Filthy rich alert. Filthy rich alert. 190 00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:36,259 - Super alarm voice, Clark. As for you, Tommy, 191 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,262 keep your fancy schmancy fanny away from our daughter! 192 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:40,393 [snip] - Aah! 193 00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:44,093 - [roars] 194 00:07:44,224 --> 00:07:46,095 - Whoa, yah! 195 00:07:46,226 --> 00:07:48,750 - Wow, Timmy jumped the shark like Weird Owl. 196 00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:53,320 [phone ringing] 197 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:57,672 - ♪ Happy friend-aversary happy friend-aversary ♪ 198 00:07:57,803 --> 00:08:00,588 ♪ Even though we can't be together ♪ 199 00:08:00,719 --> 00:08:02,024 ♪ Because I'm riffraff 200 00:08:02,155 --> 00:08:04,157 ♪ And you're schmancy 201 00:08:04,287 --> 00:08:06,367 - There's no way we can celebrate our friend-aversary 202 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,701 unless we can find a place where the schmancy and riffraff 203 00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:10,511 can live together as one. 204 00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:13,775 - If only there was someone who was both schmancy and riffraff 205 00:08:13,906 --> 00:08:15,516 who could unite the two sides. 206 00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:18,562 [cats meowing] 207 00:08:18,693 --> 00:08:21,740 - I'm queen of the world! 208 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:25,352 Hey, don't Bogart that tuna, Frisky! 209 00:08:25,482 --> 00:08:27,789 - A woman with gold underpants on her head, 210 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,835 sharing tuna with cats? 211 00:08:29,965 --> 00:08:32,663 We found our schmancy riffraff! 212 00:08:32,794 --> 00:08:34,709 [jazzy music] 213 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,190 [cats meowing] 214 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,887 ♪ 215 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,629 - Once Charity buys the club, everyone can be a member, 216 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,718 and no one will be able to keep us apart. 217 00:08:43,849 --> 00:08:47,809 - And we can finally celebrate our friend-aversary. 218 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:50,029 I present to you the grand opening 219 00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:53,641 of the new Schmancy Riffraff Club! 220 00:08:53,772 --> 00:08:55,817 - And here comes the riffraff. 221 00:08:55,948 --> 00:08:58,820 - [puffing] 222 00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:01,997 [puffing] 223 00:09:04,304 --> 00:09:06,349 - Chloe, check out our new alternative energy, 224 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,698 wind-powered car. 225 00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:09,309 It worked great until your father 226 00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:11,441 hyperventilated and blacked out. 227 00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:14,705 - Mom and Dad, welcome to a club where all are welcome! 228 00:09:14,836 --> 00:09:15,706 [whack] 229 00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:18,840 [all screaming] 230 00:09:18,971 --> 00:09:21,190 - Get out! You're not welcome! 231 00:09:21,321 --> 00:09:21,930 [both screaming] 232 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,671 - Good for you, Charity. 233 00:09:23,802 --> 00:09:25,151 Throw out the schmancies! 234 00:09:25,281 --> 00:09:28,676 Come on, Clark, let's march through those doors 235 00:09:28,807 --> 00:09:30,286 with our heads held high. 236 00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:31,524 [siren blares] - People alert. 237 00:09:31,548 --> 00:09:33,159 People alert. 238 00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:34,595 - You're not welcome, either. 239 00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:37,337 This club's only for me and my cats. 240 00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:39,165 [cats meowing] 241 00:09:39,295 --> 00:09:41,558 They're saying they're better than you in cat talk. 242 00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,952 - What kind of world is this where rich people 243 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,911 are less important than cats and riffraff? 244 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:48,478 I miss my golden underpants! 245 00:09:48,609 --> 00:09:50,916 - You're bad, Charity. You're rotten to the core! 246 00:09:51,046 --> 00:09:52,221 [all hissing] 247 00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:54,354 [slam] 248 00:09:54,484 --> 00:09:56,549 - Well, this took a weird turn. But at least we're all kicked 249 00:09:56,573 --> 00:09:58,856 out together, which means Chloe and I can finally celebrate 250 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,404 our friend-aversary. 251 00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:04,451 - Co-parents, now that you have been judged by Charity, 252 00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:07,454 I hope you've learned a lesson about judging others. 253 00:10:07,584 --> 00:10:11,371 - Silly little Clara, parents don't learn from their mistakes. 254 00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:13,721 - Chloe has a point. And Clark would agree with me 255 00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:16,289 if he were conscious. We were wrong to keep you away 256 00:10:16,419 --> 00:10:19,292 from Tommy and his filthy, sleazy family of bad people. 257 00:10:19,422 --> 00:10:21,642 - Time to re-arrange Crocker's furniture! 258 00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:23,774 Hey, where's Cosmo and Wanda? 259 00:10:23,905 --> 00:10:26,647 - We're in here, Tommy. I'm a fan of any club that 260 00:10:26,777 --> 00:10:28,344 doesn't allow Weird Owl. 261 00:10:28,475 --> 00:10:30,259 - I hate owls! 262 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:32,566 - [snoring] 263 00:10:32,696 --> 00:10:34,089 [rooster crows] 264 00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,570 [yawns] Time to get up and listen to 265 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,268 a little Weird Owl before school. 266 00:10:39,399 --> 00:10:41,531 Gah! Someone put my bed on the ceiling! 267 00:10:41,662 --> 00:10:44,056 Mother! Aah--why? 268 00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,927 [together] Happy friend-aversary! 269 00:10:46,058 --> 00:10:48,799 - [hooting] 270 00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,411 [banjo music] [ping] 271 00:10:54,893 --> 00:10:57,765 [jazzy music] 272 00:10:57,896 --> 00:11:05,077 ♪