[jazzy music]
♪
- It took six months, but I'm finally gonna finish
this useless tower of cards!
[air horn blows] [screams]
- Surprise, Timmy!
- Aah!
My wasted time is now a waste of time!
- Happy friend-aversary!
- Eh, that's a thing?
- It is if I say it is!
- Hey, guys, I sound like this now because I'm full of helium.
- You always sound like that.
- Are you saying I've always been a balloon?
Why didn't somebody tell me?
- Anyway, in honor of our three-month anniversary
of being best friends in the whole wide world,
I got us matching high powered binoculars with night-vision!
- Weird choice of gift, but hey, they'll be perfect for sneaking
into Mr. Crocker's room at night and rearranging his furniture.
I can see it now...
- [snores]
Gah! Someone put my bed on the ceiling!
Gah, mother!
- Actually, I was thinking we use the binoculars
to go owl watching.
Did you know there are over 250
species of owls in the world?
My goal is to see all of them.
Not just the species, but every single owl!
- As my friend-aversary gift to you, I will let you do
the weird owl thing on your own and then tell me about it
while I rearrange Mr. Crocker's furniture.
- I hate Weird Owl and his terrible bird song parodies,
especially "Owl I Need is a Miracle."
It's a miracle you ever got a record deal, Weird Owl.
Ooh, look, a box of nails.
Yay, nails are fun!
[together] Aah!
- Oh, Timmy!
This is the greatest day ever.
[both scream]
In honor of being chosen as the newest member of
the Fancy Schmancy Country Club,
I'm the centerfold in "Filthy Rich Magazine"!
- Congratulations, Timmy's Dad, for being so schmancy and all.
- Yeah, congrats, Dad. More importantly,
how can we make your schmanciness work for me?
- Duh!
Your whole life will be schmancier!
But with great schmanciness comes great responsibility.
Now that everyone knows we're in the country club,
they're going to expect us to live the filthy rich lifestyle!
First up, renovating our lake house!
- But we don't have a lake house.
- We do now, Timmy. I flooded our street.
[both gasp]
[laughs]
How do you like my solid gold, noise-polluting jet ski, hmm?
It runs on the sweat of the less fancy schmancy!
[vroom]
- Your dad seems to have gotten the schmancy thing down,
but the responsibility part, not so much.
Although he was responsible for flooding the street.
[both scream]
- Yeah, let's ponder that
at the all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet
at the country club.
- Even though I would prefer fruit-sweetened
ice milk, I'm in!
- Oh, no, you're not! Don't take this the wrong way,
Kelly, but they won't let you in, being that you're low-rent
riffraff and all.
Can I borrow some sweat to power my jet ski?
- Uncool, schmancy Dad. That riffraff is my best friend.
- Yeah! - Oh, please, Timmy.
She lives in a flooded-out dump!
[together] You flooded it!
- Is this climate change or just the work of an idiot
who flooded the street?
- It's the work of an idiot, thank you.
A rich idiot--so there!
- Chloe Wolfgang Puck Captain And Tennille Carmichael,
get away from that rich idiot, and doggie paddle
to your co-parents.
- But Timmy and I want to celebrate out friend-aversary.
- Uh-uh, listen to your mother. The Turners are a bad influence.
They are selfish, snobby, and some naughty words
your mother won't let me say.
- And unlike Mr. Turner, we don't flaunt our money.
We give it to Charity...
the crazy cat lady who lives in her car.
[cats meowing] - Ugh, this sack feels light.
- Come, Chloe, your friendship with Tommy is over.
- Aah! - Come, Tommy!
- Aah! - Your friendship with Shonda
is over! - I don't know who
Tommy and Shonda are, but I don't think
we'll be celebrating our friend-aversary, Chloe.
- Bye, Timmy.
[solemn music]
[sprightly music]
- Aah!
- Timmy, I know you miss your riffraff friend, Chantal,
but you'll forget all about her once you get a taste of
the Fancy Schmancy Country Club.
[spitting]
And I mean that literally, because the kids' area has
a hot tub full of mac 'n cheese!
Go on, taste it, Timmy!
- Yes! Boo-yah!
[laughs] [munching]
I have to admit, this is the best hot tub mac 'n cheese
I've ever had while wearing a tuxedo.
- Oh, Timmy, things get so much schmancier!
There's a root beer lazy river, a room where you get dipped
in gold, and, if you survive, virtual reality game helmets
with your favorite game: "Hillbilly Road Rage"!
- Yeehaw!
- It's like I'm really in the game!
[sniffs] I can actually
smell the hillbillies!
- [squeals] Ooh, ah, ooh, whee!
I'm in a money monsoon! I feel so schmancy.
Gimme, gimme, gimme! Ow--paper cut.
- I can't let your mother have all the fun.
I'm gonna go dip myself in gold!
See ya later... maybe!
- Normally, I'd be lovin' sitting here in a vat of
warm cheese, but there's something missing.
[knocking]
Chloe! - Timmy!
What kind of friend-aversary is this?
We only have six hours left to celebrate.
It's been so lonely owl watching without you!
- Not to mention terrifying. Who knew?
Owls attack you when you try and pet their babies.
[owl hooting]
- Yeah, the whole owl thing is nuts.
We should sneak you inside, so we can celebrate
our friend-aversary here. Cosmo, poof Chloe into
a fancy schmancy disguise.
[ping] - Ah!
- My bad--when I said Cosmo, I meant Wanda.
[ping]
[alarm blares] - Riffraff Alert.
Riffraff Alert.
- Eh--get in the safe room! There's been a riffraff breach!
[dramatic music]
Timmy, I told you not to hang out with that Clarice girl.
- No, you told me not to hang out with Chantel!
But her name is Chloe, and she's my best friend!
- You're fancy schmancy now. You need to hang out with
schmancy and sophisticated people like me.
Ooh, look, my underpants are gold!
[laughs]
- [hooting] - [sighs]
I just spotted my 200th species of owl,
but it's just not the same without Timmy here being bored.
- [yawns] I don't know.
I think I've been doing a pretty good job filling in for him.
- Well, speaking of owls, Weird Owl's Christmas album
is the worst! I particularly hate
"Owl I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth."
Owls don't even have teeth! What nerve--I hate them!
[splat]
- Hello?
- Oof.
- Sorry.
Chloe, I'm here to celebrate
our friend-aversary. We still have a few hours
of stupid owl time left before it's dark,
and we can do the fun furniture thing with Mr. Crocker.
- Oh, Timmy, you left your schmancy life for me?
And are those golden underpants you're holding?
- Yeah, they're your friend-aversary present.
You can buy an un-flooded house with them.
I had to use a crow bar to get 'em off my dad.
- Ooh, or I could give them to Charity!
[cats meowing]
- What, no matching gold socks?
Cheap-Os!
- Cosmo, Wanda, poof me up to Chloe!
- They can't hear you, Timmy.
Wanda's asleep and Cosmo's hate-listening
to Weird Owl. Climb up this lanyard
I made at Over Achievers camp.
[fanfare]
- Filthy rich alert. Filthy rich alert.
- Super alarm voice, Clark. As for you, Tommy,
keep your fancy schmancy fanny away from our daughter!
[snip] - Aah!
- [roars]
- Whoa, yah!
- Wow, Timmy jumped the shark like Weird Owl.
[phone ringing]
- ♪ Happy friend-aversary happy friend-aversary ♪
♪ Even though we can't be together ♪
♪ Because I'm riffraff
♪ And you're schmancy
- There's no way we can celebrate our friend-aversary
unless we can find a place where the schmancy and riffraff
can live together as one.
- If only there was someone who was both schmancy and riffraff
who could unite the two sides.
[cats meowing]
- I'm queen of the world!
Hey, don't Bogart that tuna, Frisky!
- A woman with gold underpants on her head,
sharing tuna with cats?
We found our schmancy riffraff!
[jazzy music]
[cats meowing]
♪
- Once Charity buys the club, everyone can be a member,
and no one will be able to keep us apart.
- And we can finally celebrate our friend-aversary.
I present to you the grand opening
of the new Schmancy Riffraff Club!
- And here comes the riffraff.
- [puffing]
[puffing]
- Chloe, check out our new alternative energy,
wind-powered car.
It worked great until your father
hyperventilated and blacked out.
- Mom and Dad, welcome to a club where all are welcome!
[whack]
[all screaming]
- Get out! You're not welcome!
[both screaming]
- Good for you, Charity.
Throw out the schmancies!
Come on, Clark, let's march through those doors
with our heads held high.
[siren blares] - People alert.
People alert.
- You're not welcome, either.
This club's only for me and my cats.
[cats meowing]
They're saying they're better than you in cat talk.
- What kind of world is this where rich people
are less important than cats and riffraff?
I miss my golden underpants!
- You're bad, Charity. You're rotten to the core!
[all hissing]
[slam]
- Well, this took a weird turn. But at least we're all kicked
out together, which means Chloe and I can finally celebrate
our friend-aversary.
- Co-parents, now that you have been judged by Charity,
I hope you've learned a lesson about judging others.
- Silly little Clara, parents don't learn from their mistakes.
- Chloe has a point. And Clark would agree with me
if he were conscious. We were wrong to keep you away
from Tommy and his filthy, sleazy family of bad people.
- Time to re-arrange Crocker's furniture!
Hey, where's Cosmo and Wanda?
- We're in here, Tommy. I'm a fan of any club that
doesn't allow Weird Owl.
- I hate owls!
- [snoring]
[rooster crows]
[yawns] Time to get up and listen to
a little Weird Owl before school.
Gah! Someone put my bed on the ceiling!
Mother! Aah--why?
[together] Happy friend-aversary!
- [hooting]
[banjo music] [ping]
[jazzy music]
♪