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♪ ♪
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- [clears throat]
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As usual, Chloe Carmichael
is the only one
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who followed the rules by
turning in her homework on time.
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The rest of you bozos,
bring on the excuses.
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- My dog ate my paper!
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- It's true!
I ate it!
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It tasted like a C minus.
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- Oh!
A talking dog!
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That's a new spin
on an old classic, Turner.
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Hold the stupid stick.
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- Timmy, it's upside-down.
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It says "diputs."
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- [grunts]
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- Chloe is the only one who
follows the rules around here!
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Check out her homework.
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She wrote her name at the top,
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the margins are correct,
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and she followed my most
important rule:
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taping a crisp $5 bill
to the bibliography!
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- I'm starting to regret
eating that homework.
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[stomach rumbles]
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That C minus is repeating on me.
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[belches]
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- Anyhoo, today's the day
I appoint
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this year's hall monitor.
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- It's gonna be me!
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Timmy, this is the moment
I've been working towards
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my whole life!
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- And to reward Chloe
for her stellar behavior,
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I choose...
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my nephew Kevin!
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- Thank you, Mr. Crocker.
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In the words of Mother Teresa--
wha--wait, what?
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You picked Kevin?
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What kind of reward is that?
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- Your reward is learning
the valuable lesson
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that life's not fair.
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- This is so unfair!
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- Lesson learned!
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You're welcome!
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Kevin, wake up!
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Wow, he's really out.
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Someone put a mirror
under his nose
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to make sure he's breathing.
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- [sighs]
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- It's okay.
I got this, Chloe.
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Cosmo.
Wanda.
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I wish Chloe was hall monitor!
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- Guh-gah!
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Everything went black
for a second.
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Oh, to be honest,
it was a nice break
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from the likes of you people!
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Anyhoo, I hereby decree
that Chloe Carmichael
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is the new hall monitor!
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- Yes!
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[siren wails]
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Thank you, Timmy!
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I am so ready for this!
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- Hope you're ready for this:
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the 10,000-page
hall monitor rule book.
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I've been using it
as a barricade
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to keep Mother
out of my room.
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- Aaah!
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Rules and books are two
of my favorite things!
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The third one is
ugly orange vests,
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so I'm in heaven!
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- Sport, it was very nice of you
to make that wish for Chloe.
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On the downside,
your toe's up my nose.
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- I'm a good friend.
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Plus, with Chloe
as hall monitor,
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I can break every rule in school
and never get in trouble.
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Look at me:
I'm skateboarding
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and smoking in the hall.
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- Your kielbasa's cooked!
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Also, I need to see
a lung doctor.
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[coughs]
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- This is Officer Carmichael.
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Put your hands up and pull over
to the side of the hall.
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- Uh-oh, some poor kid's
getting busted.
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I'm so glad it's not this guy.
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- Timmy Turner,
I am talking to you!
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Stop the monkey business.
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- But I just started
my monkey business!
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I trained Chaz
to tip his hat
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while he picks people's pockets.
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It wasn't easy.
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He's a biter!
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- Civilian Timmy, you are
in violation of Code 36,
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subsection 10.5:
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skateboarding and smoking
Polish sausage
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while in possession
of a grifter monkey.
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[Chaz screams]
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- Wow, that is
a highly specific law.
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Anyway, I've got lots of rules
to break,
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so if you'll excuse me...
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- No can do, Timmy!
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When I became hall monitor,
I took a solemn oath.
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- There was no oath.
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- I made one up.
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Anyway, because this is your
first offense on my watch,
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you're getting off
with a warning
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and a firm slap on the wrist.
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- Gah! Ow!
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What do you think
you're doing?
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- My job.
Stay safe.
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Hey, kid, pull over!
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You need to put reflectors
on those crutches
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to bring them up to code!
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- I've created a monster!
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Chloe's gone totally cuckoo!
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Of course, she didn't have
that far to go.
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- With Chloe on the beat,
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you better be
on your best behavior,
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which is like a C minus
on the behavior scale.
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- Well, I can't change who I am
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because that would require
trying.
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But it doesn't matter.
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Chloe talks a good game,
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but she's never really
gonna bust me.
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She'll always choose
our friendship over the rules.
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- I'm telling you,
this is good kielbasa!
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- This is your second warning.
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Step away from the sausage!
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I'm gonna have to check you
for priors.
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[imitates static]
Come in, Officer Chloe.
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[imitates static]
Go for Officer Chloe.
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[imitates static] Check the
perp's records for priors.
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[imitates static]
Roger that.
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Central Command just
sent me your prior offenses.
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- There is no Central Command!
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You were talking to yourself!
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- Watch your tone,
Civilian Timmy.
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You are addressing an officer
of the law.
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Considering your
previous offences,
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if you break the rules again,
I am authorized to send you
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to Saturday night detention
with Mr. Crocker.
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- No, not that!
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That means I'd have to...
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- Time to sand the corns
on Mother's funky foot.
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Don't forgot your
protective goggles.
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♪ ♪
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- No!
[sobbing]
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- Oh, stop crying.
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You're the one who
broke the rules!
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Now sand like you mean it!
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[sander buzzes]
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[Timmy wails]
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- So watch your step, Turner.
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Stay safe!
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I'm also
a deputy fire marshal.
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- Wow, this is a record
for you, Sport.
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You've gone a full minute
without breaking any rules.
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[monkey chatters]
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Uh-oh, it's Chaz with your take
of the loot he nabbed.
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- Uh, I don't know you, Chaz.
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If that's even your name!
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Have a nice day!
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- Slow down!
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There's a speed trap up ahead!
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♪ ♪
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- Pick it up!
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You're obstructing traffic!
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- [inhales deeply,
blows whistle]
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Attention civilians:
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random locker
search now commencing!
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[all screaming]
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- [screams]
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- Cosmo, why are you screaming?
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- Because I don't have a locker
for her to search.
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I am so busted!
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- Jackpot!
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A slingshot, a fake hall pass,
and Jason Wiener!
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- Thank you for saving me.
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A bully stuffed me in here
a week ago.
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I'm so thirsty.
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- You also have five
unexcused absences,
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so it's off to the
principal with you, Wiener!
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- Now serving
student number 248.
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- Must clean out locker.
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Can't sand Mrs. Crocker's corns!
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Giant gum ball.
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Bucket of snakes.
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- So that's where my bucket
of snakes went.
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- Barry Rosenfeld:
Hip-Hop Hedgehog!
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- Oh, no,
not Barry Rosenfeld!
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He's the worst!
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- I'm funding his tour
with my monkey business!
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[screams]
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- ♪ I'm a hip-hop hedgehog
and I'm here to say-- ♪
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- Not now, Barry Rosenfeld,
Hip-Hop Hedgehog!
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- I got to say,
Barry Rosenfeld is terrible.
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I begged you not to sign him.
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- Oh, no!
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Chloe's got a gum-sniffing dog!
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Timmy, hide your gumball!
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[sniffs]
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[growls, barks]
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- Freeze, Timmy!
You're going down!
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I'm onto the gum!
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And Barry Rosenfeld,
Hip-Hop Hedgehog!
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- Got to admit,
his music is a crime.
203
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Don't worry, Timmy.
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I'll turn Wanda and me
into sticks of gum
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to distract the dog!
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- What?
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Don't even--
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[sniffs]
209
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- Aaah!
210
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Barry?
What's going on here?
211
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- I will rap it out for you,
Timmy to the Turner.
212
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Give me a beat,
my hip-hop homies.
213
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- Don't give him a beat, kids!
214
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Barry Rosenfeld is terrible!
215
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He has nothing to rap about!
216
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He was raised in Redondo Beach!
217
00:07:22,116 --> 00:07:23,849
- Dad!
What are you doing here?
218
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- I dug this bunker when I was
your age to fight the man!
219
00:07:27,255 --> 00:07:28,921
And also to find
King Tut's treasure.
220
00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,924
Now I'm leading the resistance
against Officer Chloe's
221
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oppressive hall monitor regime!
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♪ ♪
223
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- ♪ Chugga chugga chugga ♪
224
00:07:36,463 --> 00:07:38,030
♪ You're gonna fight the man ♪
225
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- Your Dad's a rich podiatrist,
Barry!
226
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You are the man!
227
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Join us, Timmy.
228
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Put on your official
rebel banana.
229
00:07:46,107 --> 00:07:48,140
- Don't you mean bandana?
- No.
230
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- Anyone have a spare banana?
I ate mine.
231
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I need the potassium,
otherwise my glutes cramp!
232
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- Not a pretty picture,
Mr. Crocker!
233
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What are you doing here?
234
00:07:56,951 --> 00:07:59,418
- Chloe busted me because
I didn't sneeze into my elbow.
235
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What's wrong with sneezing
into someone else's elbow?
236
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It's called sharing!
237
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- Time to take down the man!
238
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And by the man,
239
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I mean the little girl
with the cool police light hat!
240
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Ooh,
I'd like one of those, too.
241
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I'd wear it to the movies!
242
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- Focus, you lunatic!
243
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Ow, my glute!
244
00:08:14,969 --> 00:08:16,702
- Let's take back the halls!
245
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Charge!
246
00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:20,172
- Charge!
247
00:08:20,174 --> 00:08:21,707
- Everyone except you, Barry
Rosenfeld, Hip-Hop Hedgehog!
248
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:24,343
I'm seriously thinking
of canceling your tour.
249
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- A few of you kids stay behind
to look for King Tut's treasure!
250
00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:28,614
I know it's here!
251
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[all yelling]
252
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- Pull over, angry mob!
253
00:08:31,518 --> 00:08:33,552
Let's see those hall passes.
254
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- Oh shoot, we don't have any!
255
00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:36,121
What are we gonna do?
256
00:08:36,123 --> 00:08:37,556
I'm scared!
257
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- I'm a teacher, lunatic!
You're all excused!
258
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Now attack!
259
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[all yelling]
260
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Ow, my other glute!
261
00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:44,896
I got to stop yelling!
262
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:45,898
Ow!
263
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,299
- Aah!
- Whoa, whoa!
264
00:08:47,301 --> 00:08:49,135
What's with the pitchforks
and torches?
265
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,404
I thought we were just gonna
take back the halls.
266
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,773
- Oh, Timmy, you clearly don't
know how an angry mob works.
267
00:08:54,775 --> 00:08:56,942
We're going to do something
horrible and irrational
268
00:08:56,944 --> 00:08:58,477
that we'll all regret later.
269
00:08:58,479 --> 00:09:00,479
- Oh, you'll have lots of time
to regret it
270
00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:02,448
when you're all in detention!
271
00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:05,484
- You know less about angry mobs
than I do!
272
00:09:05,486 --> 00:09:07,019
Run!
273
00:09:07,021 --> 00:09:09,054
- Timmy!
274
00:09:09,056 --> 00:09:12,424
You're in violation of rule
number 7, Roman numeral 8.3:
275
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:15,628
mounting a vehicle licensed
for a single operator!
276
00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:16,962
- [sighs]
277
00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:20,099
And you're in violation
of being a sane person.
278
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,200
[all yelling]
279
00:09:22,202 --> 00:09:23,802
I get that rules
are important, Chloe,
280
00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:25,371
but people
are more important,
281
00:09:25,373 --> 00:09:27,339
especially the people
that are me!
282
00:09:27,341 --> 00:09:29,041
We're supposed to be friends!
283
00:09:29,043 --> 00:09:33,245
And friends don't make friends
sand Mrs. Crocker's corns!
284
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:35,147
[all yelling]
285
00:09:35,149 --> 00:09:36,715
We got to get out of here!
286
00:09:36,717 --> 00:09:38,316
- We can't leave, Timmy!
287
00:09:38,318 --> 00:09:41,354
According to Code 142,
subsection Roman numeral 5.1,
288
00:09:41,356 --> 00:09:45,057
it's a violation to exit school
premises before 3:00 p.m.!
289
00:09:45,059 --> 00:09:46,791
And it's 2:58!
290
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,294
- Turner turned on us!
291
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,528
He's a turncoat!
292
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:51,464
Now it's our turn
to turn on him!
293
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,331
- Turntable!
294
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:53,599
Turnip!
Tina Turner!
295
00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:55,501
I was just trying
to add more turn words.
296
00:09:55,503 --> 00:09:57,269
What, isn't that
what we're doing?
297
00:09:57,271 --> 00:09:59,271
- We're not gonna make it
until 3:00, Chloe!
298
00:09:59,273 --> 00:10:00,572
And more importantly,
299
00:10:00,574 --> 00:10:02,808
I'm not gonna make it
until 3:00!
300
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,410
[all yelling]
301
00:10:04,412 --> 00:10:06,545
So I guess this is good-bye!
302
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:10,416
- Oh you're right, Timmy.
303
00:10:10,418 --> 00:10:12,784
Friends are more important
than rules!
304
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:15,454
I'm breaking Code 142!
305
00:10:15,456 --> 00:10:20,126
It's so hard,
but here I go!
306
00:10:20,128 --> 00:10:22,361
[bell rings]
307
00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:23,562
- Well, that's the bell.
School's out!
308
00:10:23,564 --> 00:10:25,631
So long, suckers!
309
00:10:25,633 --> 00:10:28,633
[all yelling, laughing]
310
00:10:28,635 --> 00:10:30,102
- Ow, my glute!
311
00:10:30,104 --> 00:10:32,237
- I'm sorry I went cuckoo,
Timmy.
312
00:10:32,239 --> 00:10:34,273
I guess I took my role
as hall monitor
313
00:10:34,275 --> 00:10:35,807
a little too seriously.
314
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,209
- Well, of course you did.
315
00:10:37,211 --> 00:10:38,310
But it's okay.
316
00:10:38,312 --> 00:10:39,879
Hey, where's Cosmo and Wanda?
317
00:10:39,881 --> 00:10:42,781
- Oh, we're in kind of
a sticky situation.
318
00:10:42,783 --> 00:10:45,016
- Yeah, we blew it.
319
00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:47,252
- ♪ I'm Barry Rosenfeld
and I'm here to say ♪
320
00:10:47,254 --> 00:10:49,288
all: You're terrible, Barry!
321
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:51,891
- Go back to Redondo Beach!
322
00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:53,258
Ee!
I got the hat!
323
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:54,259
I'm going to the movies!
324
00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,395
[siren wails]
325
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:02,668
[jazzy music]
326
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:10,609
♪ ♪
327
00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:21,720
- ♪ Billionfold! ♪
328
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:22,655
- Inc.
329
00:11:24,592 --> 00:11:25,524
- Frederator!