[jazzy music]
♪
- Ah. It's a perfectly relaxing Saturday.
We can do anything we want.
- Ah, I say we go bowling.
Wanda, let's start a fish bowling league!
- Only one thing could ruin this day.
- Oh, Timmy!
- And that's it.
- I'm hot!
All of my money is burning a hole in my pocket...
literally!
I don't trust banks, so I keep it in the oven!
- Okay, Dad, what do you want?
- Am I not making myself clear?
I Skgoogled careers on the interweb for people like me
who are filthy rich and have no talent,
and I came up with: movie producer!
- Perfect timing!
The Dimmsdale Film Festival is next week.
- Yay! Entering the festival with Timmy would be
a perfect way for us to have a father-son bonding experience.
Remember when we bonded as father-son beekeepers?
- It was fun till we got the bees.
- Yeah! Who knew they'd respond badly
to being taunted with a pointed stick?
- Pretty much everyone. Even monkeys know that.
- You know, making a movie together could be awesome, Dad.
- Ooh! Can I be in it?
I've always wanted to be an actress.
In fact, I'm starring in my own one-woman show in my room.
I sing and dance and play show tunes on a kazoo.
I'd invite you, but my parents say
it needs to be a secret.
[laughing maniacally]
- Okay, well, it's not a secret anymore,
but I kind of wish it was.
Anyway, let's do this, Dad! Dad?
- Yeah, I'm poking at you.
What are you gonna do about it, fish?
- Dad, stop taunting my fish!
- Aah! The bees are back!
Okay, I'm the director.
And action!
Why is there no action, Timmy?
- Well, the action doesn't just magically happen, Dad.
We need to get a script, actors, and a crew.
- Eww, that sounds like a lot of work!
- One crew member coming right up!
I've always wanted to be in the movies!
- Ooh, you have the voice of an angel.
You'll be our voice coach!
- Fabulous!
[crashing, shattering]
- [plays kazoo fanfare]
Presenting Totally Chloe!
[playing kazoo]
♪ Make 'em laugh, make 'em cry ♪
♪ Make 'em happy and make 'em sigh ♪
♪ I'm entertaining, I'm not a bore ♪
♪ My act's not a secret anymore ♪
I'm Totally Chloe!
- Wow. Anyway...
- And that's lunch! Hoagie time!
I can't believe how great this is going!
The movie's making itself!
But you know what we still need, Timmy?
Star power!
- You have your star: Totally Chloe!
- Eh. Anyway--
Timmy, what about your friend Catman?
Hmm? He's a big star.
- Don't say his name!
He'll appear out of nowhere and ruin our lives!
- Who? Catman?
- Did someone say my name?
- I did! And you're hired!
- Aw, come on, Dad. He's nuts.
- Not this time, citizen Timmy!
This time, you're Nuts. And I'm Dangerous,
just like it says here in the script I wrote,
aptly called "Nuts and Dangerous."
- Featuring Totally Chloe!
- Anyway, my script's a high-octane action flick
starring yours truly as Dangerous,
the complicated superhero walking on the razor's edge.
And you, Timmy, play Nuts,
my loose cannon sidekick who plays by his own rules.
- You know what?
That actually sounds pretty cool!
I get to wear a superhero costume
with awesome gadgets.
I can't wait to do this!
I am not doing this!
You didn't tell me Nuts was a squirrel!
- Originally, he was gonna be a buff superhero
with a cool iron suit,
but that seemed crazy, so I made him a big squirrel
with the face of a human boy,
'cause that makes sense.
- Aw nuts! - Perfect!
From now on, that's your catchy catchphrase!
- Although I would say it more like
[bellows] "Aww nuts!"
[car alarms sound]
- Every great movie starts
with a big, attention-grabbing opener,
and I have just the thing!
And action!
[explosion]
[both scream]
- Yes! I blew up Dinkelberg's house.
That should be a crowd pleaser! I know it pleased me.
- Thanks for putting me in your movie, Turner!
It was worth losing all the possessions that connected me
to the meaningful moments of my life and made me feel whole!
- Don't sass me, you ungrateful monster!
Also, I forgot to put film in the camera,
so start rebuilding your house so I can blow it up again!
- Anything for the arts, Turner!
- Stop throwing tantrums, you diva!
Moving on!
Let's rehearse for the next scene.
- Oh! I love rehearsing.
But no one gave me a script.
- And action!
- Looks like we have
the perfect crime on our hands, Nut Job.
- It's not Nut Job. It's Nuts.
- Stick to the script, Timmy!
It's the only way we can bond!
- Stop taunting me with the stick.
- Cut! I'm a genius!
Moving on to the next scene!
- Wait, there isn't another scene.
The rest of this so-called "“script"”
is just Catman's to-do list.
- I playfully refer to it as my Catman-Do List.
Get it? It's a cunning play on words.
- I can to-do things!
- Anyway...
- Catgirl! When did you get here?
- Oh I'm not Catgir-- Wait, is Catgirl in the movie?
- What movie? - This movie!
- If we're making a movie, then Catgirl has to be in it!
- Yes! Then I am Catgirl!
♪
- Dad, bonding or no bonding,
there's no way I'm going into that store
dressed as a giant squirrel.
- Oh, you have to, Timmy.
Remember when you signed that little girl's autograph?
Can I have your autograph, Mr. Movie Star?
That was no little girl! But good voice, huh?
It was me tricking you
into signing a legally binding contract!
- How did I not know that? - I give the credit
to my excellent voice coaching!
- Action!
[dramatic music]
- Let's see. What's on my Catman-Do List?
Tuna, buttermilk.
Catgirl, you see any cereal with live mice in it?
- Are you talking to me-ow?
See what I did there?
I have my own catchy catchphrase!
♪ Totally Catgirl
- I've never been so humiliated in my entire life.
And that's saying something.
- Oh, I love your broken spirit, Timmy.
But your delivery needs work. Voice coach!
- Try it like this, Nut Bag.
- It's Nut Job! I mean Nuts!
- Do it like the lady says!
- Just get me out of here
before anyone from school sees me!
- There he is, popular girls!
Turner, I heard you were walking around
in a stupid squirrel suit,
so I brought all the cheerleaders from school
to humiliate you!
[all laughing]
[camera shutters clicking]
- I'm a movie star!
- Cut! Genius! It is Hoagie Time!
And action!
- Okay, my blind date is supposed to have
a red bow in her hair.
- What kind of lunatic puts a blind date
on their to-do list?
- A romantic lunatic, Timmy. I mean Nut Bag.
- Uh-oh.
I just spotted my date, and she's a real dog.
[hissing]
[growls] [shrieks]
[barking]
- Well, this could not get any worse.
- Hey, Turner! I brought in some squirrel hunters from Louisiana!
They're all named Billy Bob!
There's the squirrel I promised you boys.
And he's a big'n!
all: Them's good eatin'!
- Dad, those men want to mount me on their wall!
What do I do?
- Every movie needs a chase scene,
so run, Nut Butt!
To the nutmobile!
[fast-paced fiddle music]
all: Yeehaw! - Action!
- Freezer's gonna be full of squirrel meat this winter!
Yeehoo!
Aah!
♪
[chittering]
- [screaming]
- House rebuilt.
I hope Turner appreciates it.
- Get out of the shot, Dinkleberg!
- Aah! [explosion]
Cut!
I got everything but your house exploding, Dinkelberg.
You know what that means!
- Happily rebuilding as we speak, Turner!
It gives my life purpose!
[squirrels chittering]
[engine zooms] - That's a wrap!
Oh, Timmy. What a great day of bonding.
This was more fun than taunting things
with a pointed stick!
- You put me through the worst day of my life!
- "Worst Day of My Life"?
That's a great name for a sequel.
- There's not gonna be a sequel!
In fact, I'm never gonna spend
another father-son bonding day with you again.
People hunted me!
So, sorry that I don't feel like we bonded!
- Would it help if I buy you popcorn at the film festival?
- No!
Maybe! If it's a large!
- Done!
[upbeat tune]
♪
- Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chet Ubetcha
welcoming you to the Dimmsdale Film Festival.
Our first film was directed by Timmy's Dad.
It's titled "Nuts and Dangerous."
- Hello. It's me, Timmy's Dad.
I wanted to make a movie
to bond with my son, Timmy, AKA Nuts.
[audience laughs]
Don't laugh at Timmy.
Laugh at me,
because I'm the one who's Nuts.
[laughter]
Are you laughing?
I can't tell, because I'm in a movie.
I'm Nuts because I ended up hurting Timmy's feelings,
making him mad,
and getting him hunted by a busload of Billy Bobs.
- ♪ We didn't find cereal with mice ♪
♪ And now Timmy's dad's being nice ♪
♪ Totally Chloe
all: Anyway...
- I feel terrible.
And not just because this squirrel costume
is riding up.
I'm sorry, Timmy.
- Say it the way I told you!
- You're fired!
The point is, I care way more about you
than any stupid movie, Timmy.
Please, please forgive me,
[dramatic music]
- You got it, Dad.
all: Aww.
all: Yee-haw!
[both scream]
all: Yee-haw!
[audience cheering]
[explosion]
- Anything for the arts!
- I just got an idea for a movie.
It's called "Nuts & Dangerous."
- No!
- ♪ Totally Chloe
- You're fired! - Oh.
- Hoagie time!
[jazzy music]
♪
- ♪ Billionfold
[bolts firing]
- ♪ Frederator