[wacky music]
♪
[jaunty music]
[lone knock] - Come in, Timmy!
- Hey, Chloe. Are you ready for--
- Dimmsdale Daze, the best carnival
in the whole wide world?
Yes! - Me too!
I can't wait to ride the Barf Dragon.
It's the world's sickest roller coaster.
Also, it makes you sick.
That's why I brought my own trusty barf bag.
- A barf bag? Wait, that's what I am?
- Uh, what am I, sport? The bag to hold your candy?
- The candy I've already eaten.
Because you're my backup barf bag!
- Ha ha, Wanda. I'm Timmy's favorite barf bag.
No, wait-- - Oh, Chloe!
[yelling like Tarzan]
- We've been making vines like
all the cool kids are doing these days.
- Okay, that's the wrong kind of, uh...
Never mind. Good try.
- Mommy, Daddy, I'm going to Dimmsdale Daze.
I'm gonna throw up on the Barf Dragon with Timmy.
- Well, doesn't that sound unproductive.
Sorry, but it's out of the question.
You see, carnivals are an offense to humanity
with their deep-fried garbage food,
shyster game booths, and worst of all,
scary carnies, who I am pretty darn sure do not recycle.
- Besides, your mother and I have already
made some fun family plans.
We're gonna chain ourselves to the old elm tree
in the town square so evil developers
can't cut it down.
That should make for a snazzy time, huh?
- Plus, a picture of us chained to the tree
will make an absolutely boffo Christmas card.
That we can recycle.
- But I want to go to Dimmsdale Daze.
- Well, when you're a parent, you can make your own decisions.
But we know what's best for you,
Chloe Jonas Salk Mandela Carmichael.
And that's chaining yourself to a tree.
- Ooh, just once I wish
I could be the parent so I could
do what I want and go to the carnival.
- Wish granted. You're a parent
for as long as Dimmsdale Daze is in town.
[triumphant trumpet music]
- I'm a parent! I'm in charge!
On the downside, I'm wearing mom jeans.
- And Cosmo and Wanda disappeared.
I'm out two barf bags.
- Hey Chloe, rocking those mom jeans.
Also, Cosmo and Wanda are gone
because by wishing to be an adult,
you are now too old to have fairies.
And since you and Timmy are on a fairy-share scenario,
he is squat out of luck as well!
Well, I'm off to get in line for the Barf Dragon.
You do not want to be on that ride late in the day.
- Timmy, I just thought of something.
If I'm a parent, then my parents must be my...
both: Mommy! Mommy!
- Mommy, Clark flushed my Sunday shoes down the toilet.
It was awesome.
- And Connie shaved off my eyebrows.
It was great.
- [laughing]
I'm not mad at your age-appropriate whimsy.
Because unlike my mom and dad,
I'm a fun parent.
- Your kids are my kind of people.
Dimmsdale Daze, here we come.
- [grunts] Ah!
- I got to say, Chloe, for your first time driving,
you're way worse than I thought you'd be.
both: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
- Soon, valued offspring.
[grunts] 'Cause I'm taking a shortcut.
I'm a parent, and I get to do what I want.
Yahoo!
[rock music]
We're there.
[children cheering]
[child barfing] - Did you hear that?
That's the sound of a kid
coughing up a deep-fried corn dog.
We must be near...
all: The Barf Dragon!
[all cheering]
- Sorry, ma'am. Front cars are for kids.
You got to ride in the back with the other creepy adults.
- Strap in, fellow creepy adult.
BT Dubs, way to rock those mom jeans.
Oh, this must be your first time in the dragon's caboose.
- What? Why did you say those words?
- 'Cause you don't have a barf shield.
Ha ha! [kids cheering]
Come at me, chunks!
[all cheering]
- Hey, guys. I don't stink anymore.
I got hosed down by the guy who washes the elephants.
all: Yay! - Yay!
I'm doing what I want 'cause I'm the parent.
I'm never going on the Barf Dragon again.
- Creepy adult alert!
Bounce her out!
- Ah!
- Wow, lady, you are a glutton for punishment.
- Ah!
Ah...
- Hey, Chloe, we bought one of everything
from the deep-fried everything booth.
I have no idea what I'm eating, but it's delicious.
- Clark and I ate 11 pounds of cotton candy.
Can we have more? Please, please, please, please,
please, please, please, please, please?
- Yes. Fine. Here.
both: You're the best mom ever.
- Well, I've had a wonderful time at Dimmsdale Daze.
Although, a lot of people have thrown up on me,
and the elastic on my mom jeans is starting to pinch.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's time to check out
the most awesome attraction of all:
Carney Alley.
[scary laughter]
It's not an official attraction.
It's where all the cool carnies take their breaks.
You'll see things in Carney Alley you'll never forget,
even if you want to.
- But my mom, who's now my daughter,
says that carnies are scary.
- That's what makes them fun.
Last year, a guy named Lazy Eye Larry
paid me 70 bucks to crawl through a doggy door
and get his ex-fiancé's engagement ring back.
- Can we go? Can we go to Carney Alley?
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please,
please, please, please?
- Fun parent, fun parent, fun parent.
Uh, you betcha? - Yes!
- I'd like to see Lazy Eye Larry again,
but word on the street is that he's working
a new ride called the Witness Protection Program.
[growling] - Ah!
[all screaming]
Was that a lizard or a man?
- Could have been both.
It's Carney Alley.
- Ah! I mean, whoopee!
Ha, said the fun mom.
But oh rats, we have to go home now
because we're all out of tickets.
[laughing] - Oh, Timmy!
I've got a gazillion tickets.
- No! No, no, no, no, no!
I mean, whoopee.
[all cheering]
- It's actually more than a gazillion.
It's a googolplex of tickets, which, like seven,
is a number too big for me to understand.
- Okay, I'll go on one more ride,
as long as it's not the Gravitwist.
- But the Gravitwist is fun.
- And we thought you were a fun mom.
- [sighs]
[all cheering]
I hope this is a short ride.
- It is, but no worries.
I gave the ride operate all my tickets,
so we're gonna get a googolplex of turns,
which is a long time in human years.
[playful carnival music]
[all cheering]
- [screaming]
♪
- Whoa, I think we went back in time there for a minute.
I saw Ben Franklin riding a dinosaur.
- I'm saying this as a fun mom.
I hated that ride!
Well, we're home.
Mommy's gonna sleep until this whole nightmare--
I mean, super fun experience-- is over.
So night, night.
- Sleep-over! Sleep-over!
all: Sleep-over! Sleep-over!
Sleep-over! - Okay.
You guys can have a sleepover.
As long as you promise not to bother Mommy.
- Eh, but we're kids. We need parental guidance.
- I thought you were a creepy adult.
- But I have the mind of a child.
- It's true. He's been tested.
- Okay, I am the fun mom, so sleepover it is.
But "Sleepover" has the word "sleep" in it,
so go to sleep!
[crying]
[loud booming] Ah!
What did you do?
Ah!
- We made popcorn.
- A googolplex of it.
- Tell us a story, Fun Mom.
- But I'm so tired.
both: Sto-ry! Sto-ry! Sto-ry!
- Once upon a time!
There was a girl who wanted to be a parent
so she could do what she wanted to do.
She tried to be a fun mom,
but she got stuck in the dragon's caboose--
- This story's stupid! - Without a barf shield.
And she was dragged into Carney Alley
where she saw things she can never un-see.
The end! Nighty night!
- That was a scary story. - And stupid.
- Now we need a happy story so that we can go to sleep
and rest up for another fun-filled day
at Dimmsdale Daze.
all: Dimmsdale Daze! Dimmsdale Daze!
- No! No more Dimmsdale Daze
for you, you little monsters!
Not tomorrow, not ever!
You are monster children
with evil in your hearts.
- [sobbing]
- Monsters!
- Wow, that was some terrible parenting.
Who wants to play with knives?
both: Me!
[serene music]
[distant cheering] - [yawning]
Those kids have driven me nanners.
It sounds like Dimmsdale Daze is right outside my house.
Oh!
Ah! Ah!
[all cheering]
What in the name of Carney Alley
is going on here?
- Well you wouldn't let us go to Dimmsdale Daze,
so we brought Dimmsdale Daze to us.
- But the only way you could do that is if you had...
- [whispering] [dinging]
- Fairies?
Ah!
- That's right, fairies.
- But--but wh-- - Why?
'Cause when you went all cuckoo cray-cray last night,
you acted like such a bad mom that your kids,
who are actually your parents,
qualified for fairies.
- And we were available.
- Actually, I was making a pretty penny.
crawling through doggy doors for Slippery Pete.
Formerly known as Lazy Eye Larry.
Yeah, he's not the best lookout in the world.
- They got fairies because of me?
- Yeah, you kind of stunk it up.
- I didn't want to be a mean mom.
I just wanted to go to Dimmsdale Daze.
Also, I'm gonna be sick.
Connie, Clark, I'm so sorry.
I never should have yelled at you
for engaging in age-appropriate whimsy.
Being a parent is a lot harder than I thought.
I just wish I could be a kid again.
- I think we can make that happen.
[whispering]
[dinging]
- I'm a kid again! Whoopee!
- Good thing too, 'cause to be honest,
you did not rock those mom jeans.
- You know, Chloe, your father and I were talking.
Well, I was talking.
- And we remembered what it was like to be kids.
- Clark, I said I was talking. - Sorry.
- Anyhoo, we remembered what it was like
to be kids and, well, we decided
that you can go to Dimmsdale Daze.
- Really? Yay!
You're the most fun parents ever.
- Yeah, I wouldn't go overboard.
They're still gonna chain themselves to a tree.
- You should have some age-appropriate whimsy.
But there are a lot of germs at these carnivals,
so just step into this antibacterial bubble,
won't you?
- I'm so excited to be a kid again.
I feel so free.
And antiseptic.
- I'm just happy not to be a barf bag.
- This is awesome.
Let's go straight to Carney Alley.
- Six Fingers Jimmy's gonna give me a burner phone.
By the way, he doesn't have an extra finger.
Six is the total number of fingers on both hands.
- I got the ring! I got the ring!
Start the car, Lazy Eye Larry!
Larry?
[vibrant musical sting]
[jazzy music]
♪
- ♪ Billionfold
- Inc.
- Federator!