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[jazzy music]
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- ♪ Timmy's
still an average kid ♪
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♪ That no one understands
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♪ Chloe's his new neighbor
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♪ And she's ruining
all his plans ♪
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- Ahh!
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- ♪ All the wishes
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♪ In the world
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♪ So why should he care?
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♪ Jorgen has reported
there's a fairy shortage ♪
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♪ So Timmy has to share
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♪ His OddParents,
fairly OddParents ♪
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- More than one?
- This should be fun!
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- ♪ OddParents,
fairly OddParents ♪
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♪ Feather suit, nature boots,
laser shooting, rescue ♪
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- World peace, kale treats,
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bunny feet, real neat!
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- What? No!
Leave me alone!
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My fairies!
Get your own!
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- ♪ OddParents,
fairly OddParents ♪
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♪ Timmy, beware,
you'll have to share ♪
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♪ Your fairly OddParents
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- Yeah, right!
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[upbeat music]
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♪
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- [trumpeting]
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Attention, Squirrely Scouts!
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In order to earn our
Wilderness Survival Badges,
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we have to cling to life till
dawn in the most desolate,
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and some say cursed, part of
the Dimmsdale National Forest!
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[eagle shrieks]
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- I feel scared and hopeless!
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- Ooh, looks like we're already
cursed... with a cry baby!
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Be a man like me, Ricky.
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- Uh, Dad?
Question on the man thing:
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what's with
the flowing blonde hair?
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- That's your dad?
I was feeling empowered
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'cause I thought we had
a strong woman scout leader.
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- No, silly Chloe,
I'm neither strong nor a woman.
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My hair's like this
'cause I accidentally used
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Timmy's mom's shampoo.
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Then to really make my look pop,
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I used her mascara!
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- Bleeeh.
- Songbirds keep landing on me
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because they think
I'm a fairy tale princess.
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They're sewing me a dress
for the ball!
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- Okay,
back to the real world.
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We're starving.
Where's our camping supplies?
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- [laughs]
They're all around us!
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In order to earn
our Wilderness Survival Badges,
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we have to live off the land!
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- Does that mean
we have to eat land?
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- You may have to, Stuart.
I had four club sandwiches
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on the bus.
[burps]
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[rumbling]
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I burped,
and now I'm hungry again!
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[crying]
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- Don't worry, guys...
and Princess Crazy.
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I was a Junior Navy Seal
as a toddler.
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In addition to being able
to disarm an enemy assailant
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underwater, I also learned
to make a mean bark jerky.
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- You're mean!
I want real food.
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We're gonna die!
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- Dad, it's all your fault!
This was your idea!
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- I have a lot of bad ideas.
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You boys and Timmy stay here.
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I'm gonna take this
sharpened stick and hunt
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for club sandwiches!
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[playful music]
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[relaxing music]
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- You are gonna love
my bark jerky.
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A big thanks to Stuart, who
let me salt it with his tears.
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- [crying]
You're welcome.
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Those squirrels are eating
better than us!
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[both munching]
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They're having veal Parmesan!
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- Cosmo, Wanda, what do you guys
think you're doing?
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- Oh, just normal
squirrel stuff:
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Eating yummy Italian food and
doing some online banking.
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- We're not trying
to earn Survival Badges,
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so we don't have to eat
revolting wood chips.
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- Speaking of Stuart,
Heimlich him.
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He's choking on his bark!
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- [choking]
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[spits]
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- [choking]
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- My dad's gone sandwich
hunting, and we're eating trees.
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This whole dying in the woods
thing is not my style.
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Let's do camping the Timmy way--
without the camping part.
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[fanfare]
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Now this is not camping!
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- Everything but camping is
not camping, Timmy.
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Wait a minute,
did I just make sense?
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- It had to happen eventually.
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The odds were on your side.
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- This is awesome!
There's a chocolate fountain,
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a hot tub,
and an all-you-can-eat buffet
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with unlimited bread sticks!
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[munching]
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- Eh--I smell
unlimited bread sticks!
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If I don't get food,
I'm gonna die!
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I gotta get to the river
and spear a club sandwich.
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I'd even settle for a fatty
pastrami on a raisin bagel.
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That's how desperate I am!
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[sniffs]
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Ooh, cartoon-like aroma waves.
They should lead to food!
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- So, Mr. Crocker,
tell me you brought us to
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your mother's alone-time cabin
'cause you figured out a way
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to return us Fair Bears to our
rightful home in Happy Hollow.
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- Don't be ridiculous.
As usual, this is all about me.
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- But that's not f-fair!
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- Life's not fair, Fair Bear!
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One look into Mother's eyes
will tell you that.
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Anyhoo, I got us a gig to play
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Goldicrocks and the Three Bears
at the Dimmsdale Storybook Land
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theme park!
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- We can do better than that!
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- Think again, Better Bear!
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You're unemployed cartoon
characters from a canceled
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preschool show who were poofed
into the real world by fairies!
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The only other job you'd be
qualified for is doing PSAs
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about forest fires!
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This is a fantastic opportunity
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to make minimum wage while
getting to scare children
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at the same time.
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Let's run our lines.
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As my flaxen hair might suggest,
I'm playing Goldicrocks.
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- My porridge is too hot.
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- My porridge is too cold.
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- My porridge... has an
off-putting texture.
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- Your acting has an
off-putting texture!
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[beeping]
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Gadzooks,
my Fairy meter's going off,
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which means Turner's fairies
are nearby!
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- This is fantastic, Fair Bears!
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Fairy magic could be our ticket
back to Happy Hollow.
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- Whatever floats your boat!
I'll capture the fairies
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and use their magic to wish
for some new bears who can act!
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[beeping]
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- Here, club sandwiches!
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Ooh, rehearsal porridge.
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[munching]
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Aah!
This one's too hot!
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[munching]
Ooh, this one's too cold.
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Ehh!
This one has
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an off-putting texture.
I'm gonna die!
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- Here comes dessert!
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It's bark jerky sweetened with
nature's candy: tree sap!
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Wait a minute.
Cartoon-like aroma waves?
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Timmy!
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- [munching]
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This is the life!
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Getting that Survival Badge
is gonna be a piece of cake.
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Speaking of cake,
I want more cake!
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[ping]
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[pop]
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[munching]
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- Whoops, I dropped my plate.
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Good thing veal Parmesan floats.
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Oh, uh-oh, I also
deleted my bank account.
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There goes $11.00
and a bag of buttons.
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- He keeps buttons
in the bank!
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- I'm with Goldman Slacks.
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- Timmy!
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I can't believe
you're cheating!
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Is that cake?
Don't give me any!
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- Oh, uh, sorry, Chloe.
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Timmy made a wish,
and we had to grant it.
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There wasn't anything in it
for me, besides the tiramisu.
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- And Terry the masseur.
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- Oh, hey.
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- As sworn members
of the Squirrely Scouts,
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we agreed to live
by a code of honor.
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And as sure as my name is
Chloe Erin Brockovich
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Seabiscuit Carmichael,
we're gonna get that badge
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fair and square!
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Cosmo, Wanda,
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poof all this away!
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[ping]
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- Ow!
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- Sorry, Timmy.
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The only thing you'll be eating
are wood chips seasoned
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with Stuart's sadness.
And just to make sure
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you don't cheat again,
I wish that Cosmo and Wanda
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had no more magic
for the rest of the day!
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[fanfare]
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- Ahh!
- Oof!
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- Terry and my
tiramisu are gone!
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I'm gonna die!
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[beeping]
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- Bad news, bears.
It was a fairy false alarm!
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Your dreams of going home
have been crushed.
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La-dee-dah!
Back to the cabin to rehearse.
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And this time with acting!
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- My foot's cramping.
I miss Terry!
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- And I miss my buttons!
Especially the ones that
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hold up my gold man slacks.
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- This is a nightmare!
I'm lost in the woods
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without magic or cake!
How could this get any worse?
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And there's my answer.
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- Oh, no!
It's the Fair Bears
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and Mr. Crocker's unsightly
twin sister.
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- Eee, that porridge
was terrible.
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- Gah!
Someone's in the cabin!
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I just hope it isn't Mother with
one of her hippy boyfriends.
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If you smell incense,
cover your eyes!
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00:08:22,447 --> 00:08:24,624
- Oh, no, my crazy, blonde dad's
in trouble,
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and I don't have magic
to help him!
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- Or buttons!
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- [grunting]
Ew, this bed is too soft.
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Aah!
This bed is too hard!
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Mm...
and this bed
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has a mismatched
bed skirt and duvet!
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I'm gonna die!
[door opens]
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- Someone's been eating
my porridge,
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despite its off-putting texture.
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- Oh!
It's the real Goldilocks!
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And she's really let herself go.
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- The Fair Bears?
I thought you were canceled
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after your mediocre
Easter special.
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- Oh, I'll let
the porridge thing slide,
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but no one insults
our mediocre Easter special!
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- [screams]
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[dramatic music]
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[screams]
- [growls]
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00:09:06,622 --> 00:09:10,234
♪
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[splat]
- Ow.
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- Wait, that's not
Mr. Crocker's unsightly sister.
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00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:18,199
That's just unsightly
Mr. Crocker.
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- That's Goldicrocks to you!
Or at least it will be when
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I'm the main event at
Dimmsdale Storybook Land.
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- I don't know what that means!
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Just leave my crazy, blonde
dad alone!
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♪
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- It's okay, Timmy!
If I remember the story
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correctly, soon the bears'
carriage will turn back
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into a pumpkin,
and I'll marry the prince.
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Where's that dress, songbirds?
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- That's the wrong fairy tale,
you twit!
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Now listen up, Fair Bears!
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In the darker, German version of
"The Three Bears,"
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you eat Goldilocks
while playing chess with death!
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00:09:48,011 --> 00:09:50,579
- We don't eat people,
unless they're basted with
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a nice lemon-dill reduction.
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- Basting them makes
them better.
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- I'll pre-heat the oven!
FYI: you're gonna need
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to eat the kids, too.
They're bound to report this,
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00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:02,983
and I can't be caught in
the woods wearing a wig again.
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I've already got two strikes
from the Dimmsdale School Board.
250
00:10:05,463 --> 00:10:07,248
- Timmy, what time is it?
251
00:10:07,378 --> 00:10:09,226
- Well, Chloe, normally it would
be time for the fairies
252
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,184
to save us, but thanks to
your stupid no magic wish,
253
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:12,906
it's time for us
to be bear food!
254
00:10:13,036 --> 00:10:15,125
- Okay, I deserve that.
But it'll be midnight
255
00:10:15,256 --> 00:10:17,496
in a few seconds, which means
the day's technically over,
256
00:10:17,562 --> 00:10:19,913
which means the fairies
can use their magic again!
257
00:10:20,043 --> 00:10:22,219
- I miss magic.
And buttons.
258
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,265
- Yay!
Oven's preheated!
259
00:10:24,395 --> 00:10:26,136
Hop in, Timmy's dad and kids.
260
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:28,922
- We have to figure out
a clever way to stall.
261
00:10:30,053 --> 00:10:31,838
- Aah!
Ooh!
262
00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:32,968
[crash]
263
00:10:33,056 --> 00:10:34,841
- Aah!
264
00:10:34,971 --> 00:10:36,930
- [groaning]
265
00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:40,411
[coo-coo, coo-coo]
266
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:42,152
[fanfare]
267
00:10:42,283 --> 00:10:44,372
- Cosmo, Wanda,
it's midnight!
268
00:10:44,502 --> 00:10:46,069
- Really?
I got 4:30.
269
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,115
- Just poof us
out of here!
270
00:10:48,245 --> 00:10:49,986
[ping]
271
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,640
- [trumpeting]
272
00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:54,077
Congratulations,
Squirrely Scouts!
273
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,036
You earned your
Wilderness Survival Badges!
274
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,318
Now that I think about it,
I could have just handed these
275
00:10:58,342 --> 00:11:01,084
out at the beginning of the day.
No one would have checked.
276
00:11:01,215 --> 00:11:04,087
- Well, this turned out great.
Except for all the bad parts.
277
00:11:04,218 --> 00:11:06,481
And now I think it's time
to poof the Fair Bears
278
00:11:06,611 --> 00:11:09,440
back to Happy Hollow
so they don't eat anyone.
279
00:11:09,571 --> 00:11:11,921
- Oh, Mr. Crocker's
gonna be disappointed.
280
00:11:12,052 --> 00:11:14,141
His Goldicrocks act
won't be the same
281
00:11:14,271 --> 00:11:15,751
without the Fair Bears!
282
00:11:15,882 --> 00:11:17,381
- I wonder what he was doing
in the woods with a wig
283
00:11:17,405 --> 00:11:19,363
the first two times.
284
00:11:19,494 --> 00:11:20,689
- Mr. Crocker can
still perform
285
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:22,627
at that theme park
without 'em.
286
00:11:22,758 --> 00:11:26,849
Cosmo, Wanda, replace
the Fair Bears with real bears.
287
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,677
- Show time, you simpletons!
288
00:11:28,808 --> 00:11:31,811
Time to make people forget about
that mediocre Easter special!
289
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:32,941
[ping]
290
00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:34,248
[all growling]
291
00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:35,684
- Gah!
Real bears!
292
00:11:35,815 --> 00:11:37,860
Wait, how are you guys
at acting?
293
00:11:37,991 --> 00:11:38,861
[all roaring]
294
00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:39,862
[screams]
Mother!
295
00:11:39,993 --> 00:11:41,255
Gah-geh!
[chomp]
296
00:11:41,385 --> 00:11:43,953
Luckily, I have an
off-putting texture.