[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[knocking]
- Aah!
- Timmy, I think it's time for me to introduce you
to my other bestest friends in the whole wide world.
- Why do I feel scared?
- The Kale Patch Kids!
- Oh, you got to be joking.
- [laughing] I would never joke about
Kale Patch Kids, Timmy.
I've been collecting them since I started earning
an allowance at three months old!
[sighs] What can I say?
I was a can-do baby.
- You said we were gonna have fun today.
- Hop on the Kale Patch Express.
Not there!
That seat is reserved for the rarest
and most special Kale Patch Kid of all--
Princess Pineapple.
Toot, toot! All aboard!
- Aah!
[toot-toot]
- Princess Pineapple is the only one I need
to complete my collection.
Ooh, and I want her!
I want her so bad!
- If anyone sees me on this stupid toy train,
I'll be totally humiliated, so keep it down.
- Kale Patch Kids roll call!
Amy Apricot.
"Here!"
[squeak]
Aquanetta Avocado.
"Word up."
[squeak]
Dr. Arnold J. Asparagus.
"Oy, I'm here, already."
[squeak]
- Stop it!
- But I'm only on the a's!
- They're all here 'cause you put them here!
They can't move around on their own!
Or at least I hope not!
[groaning] How can this day get any worse?
[ting]
- It only gets better, Timmy.
Because I brought my bestest friends too.
The Compost Kids!
- Your friends smell like a dumpster.
Which makes sense because that's where you found them.
- Where they come from shouldn't matter, Wanda.
It's what's on the inside that counts--
maggots!
- Okay, jumping out now.
[lever rachets]
Aah! Ow!
- We're here!
- Crocker's Collectibles?
- After years of searching the deep net,
my intelligence sources confirm that this place has the last
Princess Pineapple in the known universe.
And she's all mine!
- She's all mine!
With Princess Pineapple,
my Kale Patch Kids collection is finally complete.
- What? No!
- Why does every female scream when they see me?
- Come, my lady.
There's a very special seat for you in my Kale Patch Caboose.
"Thank you, my prince."
- She doesn't sound like that!
- "Yes, I do!"
Toot, toot!
[toot]
- Timmy, you didn't tell me your dad collects Kale Patch Kids.
- I was ashamed.
- Now I'm devastated!
How am I gonna break the loss of Princess Pineapple
to the other Kale Patch Kids?
I'm so sorry, Zeppo Zucchini.
"I'm-a so bummed out-a!"
- Ashamed again.
[melancholy string music]
- [whimpering]
- [sighing] Are you really still upset
about Penny Pumpernickel?
- Princess Pineapple! Get it right!
- I'm guessing that's a yes.
- "I'm concerned about your condition, Chloe.
Do you need some medicine?"
Thank you, but no, Dr. Arnold J. Asparagus.
- Wait, we can fix this with magic,
said the boy with fairies.
Cosmo. Wanda.
I wish Chloe had her very own Peggy Pomegranate.
- Princess Pineapple!
- Legal Jorgen here with some legal jargon.
Wishing up an official Kale Patch Kid
is an infringement of strict copyright law.
I tried to poof up a kid a Bucky Huckleberry once
and I was in court with their lawyers for eight years.
[sniffing]
Wow, it stinks in here!
- Oh, that must be Reeking Randy Rutabaga.
Say hi, Randy.
Whoops, his mouth fell off.
- "I've got an ointment for that meshuggaas."
- Eh, I got to say, guys, this is a really weird scene
you have going on here.
[shimmering chimes]
- Oh, Timmy!
[ting] [poof]
It's time to play with Princess Pineapple.
It's her wedding day!
She's getting hitched to the dashing Tommy Tomato.
- No! He's all wrong for her!
He's shallow and kind of a player!
- Come on, Timmy, come on!
The wedding can't start without you.
You're the flower girl. - What?
- And tomorrow, you're gonna be the bellhop
at their honeymoon hotel.
And nine months later, you're gonna be their nanny
when they have a baby!
Hum, hum, hum, wedding!
[humming the "Wedding March"]
- Okay, you're miserable.
And more importantly, I'm miserable.
But I've got a fix.
We steal Princess Pineapple from my dad and give her to you.
You get what you want, and I don't have to be a nanny
to a stuffed pineapple.
- Timmy, as much as I'm tempted to rip Princess Pineapple
from your father's sweaty hands and save her from a marriage
that I truly believe will not end well,
it is wrong to steal.
- Princess Pineapple, you're such a beautiful bride.
Oh, here come the water works!
[weeping] I always cry at weddings!
- Save me! Save yourself!
- I must find some way to forget Princess Pineapple.
- We'll help you, Chloe.
We won't even say Princess Pineapple's name.
Oops, I just said it.
- Said what? Said Princess Pineapple?
Uh-oh, now I said Princess Pineapple.
Wanda, if you hadn't said Princess Pineapple,
I never would have said Princess Pineapple.
- You've said Princess Pineapple
way more times than I've said Princess Pineapple.
- Stop saying Princess Pineapple!
- This is Chet Ubetcha,
reporting from Timmy's Dad's playroom,
where the wedding of the season is about to take place
between Tommy Tomato and Princess Pineapple.
I got to say, it's a pretty weird scene.
- So ashamed.
- Ahem.
Dearly beloved, if anyone objects
to the beautiful union
between this stuffed pineapple and tomato,
then I'm not friends with you anymore!
- I object!
Okay, I'll do it!
I'll steal Princess Pineapple!
- You're not supposed to say Princess Pineapple.
Wait, who's Princess Pineapple again?
♪ ♪
- [snoring]
[humming and snoring]
[sneaky music]
- Chloe, come in.
Aah! - I'm in.
- And call me by my code name--
Silent Avenger.
I was gonna call myself Silent But Deadly,
but apparently that means something else.
- That's totally cray-cray.
- No, that's your code name.
- Okay, you're a little over-the-top
with all the high-tech spy gear.
We're just grabbing Princess Pineapple from my dad's toy box.
- Sweet, naive Timmy.
Something as valuable as Princess Pineapple
will surely be protected by the highest levels of security.
There'll be booby traps, a laser grid,
and maybe even a fire-breathing dragon.
- I just popped in to say that your scene
has gotten even weirder.
[poof]
- Okay, Silent Avenger.
Let's just go get Princess Pineapple.
- Roger, Totally Cray-Cray.
[pew]
Don't touch it, Timmy!
You'll set off the booby traps!
- Aah! The only booby in here is you!
[dramatic music]
[triumphant fanfare]
[intense music]
Aah!
♪ ♪
[grunting and screaming]
- [growling]
- Aah!
- She's mine!
[mellow guitar music]
[pew]
[goofy music]
- Ugh.
- Oh, Princess Pineapple.
At long last, we are together.
Let's never be apart again.
"Oh, never ever!
"And thank you for saving me from that rotten Tommy Tomato.
It would have ended badly."
I said the same thing!
"That's because we're so much alike."
[squeak]
[ting]
- Now that Princess Pineapple is single again,
I'd like to introduce her to Sir Putrid Prune.
"Enchanté."
Whoops, his nose fell off.
- Good night, Wanda. Good night, Cosmo.
I may have crossed unethical boundaries by retrieving you,
but I refuse to feel guilty.
No nightmares for me.
Good night, Princess Pineapple.
"Good night, Chloe."
[snoring]
- Chloe, it's us-- the ghosts of Christmas past.
- That's all true, except we're not ghosts,
it's not Christmas, and we're not from the past.
- Hey, why am I still wearing the flower girl outfit?
Seems sort of random.
- Anyway, we're here to show you your future.
When you stole Princess Pineapple,
you launched yourself into a degenerate life of crime.
[zooms]
[wondrous music]
♪ ♪
After you stole Princess Pineapple,
you got a tattoo and an eye patch
and started hanging out with the wrong crowd.
- Aah! Those are C students!
- I still don't know where you found six kids with eye patches.
- You started stealing candy from babies,
before making the obvious jump to becoming a super-villain
who held the world hostage with a giant space laser.
- And you topped that by refusing to recycle!
- [cackling evilly]
- I'm a monster!
Aah!
- Was it worth it, Chloe?
Was it?
- Aah!
Phew, it was just a dream, Princess Pineapple.
"Or was it?"
- Aah!
Princess Pineapple's gone!
"Dear Timmy's Dad, I've run away.
"I'm fleeing my loveless marriage to Tommy Tomato.
"It would have ended badly.
"Don't look for me, especially at Chloe's house.
Best regards, P.P."
Ha-ha-ha! She wrote "pee-pee"!
But she's gone!
Oh, Tommy Tomato, what are we gonna do?
"I'm cool. I'm kind of a player."
Oh, I wish I were more like you, Tommy Tomato.
But I'm soft inside, more like Billy Banana.
[sobbing loudly]
Timmy, hold me.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
- [shrieking]
Princess Pineapple, you're back!
- Timmy's Dad, I have a confession to make.
- You found Princess Pineapple getting a fake ID
so she could start her life over
wherever pineapples on the run go?
- Not exactly.
- Just go with it!
[heartfelt music]
[squeak]
- This was all my fault.
I drove you away by making you marry Tommy Tomato.
He fooled everyone with his "good guy" act.
- Well, good-bye, Princess Pineapple.
I'll miss you so much!
- Wait! You can't go.
You're a hero for returning my princess
and saving her from a life on the run.
How 'bout we share her?
- Do you really mean that? Who cares?
You said it! No backsies!
Ooh! You know who would be the perfect match
for Princess Pineapple?
Dr. Arnold J. Asparagus.
"Lehayim."
- "He is rather cute."
- She doesn't sound like that!
- Yes, I do!
Get back here, Timmy.
And put on your flower girl dress.
We're having another wedding!
[squeak]
- No words. Seriously.
[ting]
♪ ♪
[jazzy music]
♪ ♪