1 00:00:04,203 --> 00:00:07,275 - Whoa, honey. - I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. 2 00:00:07,498 --> 00:00:09,570 Oh, goodness. What's left to wear on your feet? 3 00:00:09,751 --> 00:00:12,230 I know. It's a sickness. Everyone thinks it started with Bradshaw. 4 00:00:12,254 --> 00:00:13,982 But, actually, it came over on the Mayflower. 5 00:00:14,006 --> 00:00:16,202 - What a wonderful history lesson. - Any time. 6 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,623 [Pasqualie shouting in Italian] 7 00:00:17,676 --> 00:00:18,711 [Exclaiming] 8 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,960 Pasqualie's feeling unappreciated again. 9 00:00:21,138 --> 00:00:23,607 We had "Stars Hollow Loves Pasqualie Day" last week. 10 00:00:23,807 --> 00:00:25,161 Didn't stick. 11 00:00:25,309 --> 00:00:27,426 Listen, I want to invite you to my anniversary party. 12 00:00:27,604 --> 00:00:30,756 - Absolutely. Which husband? - No husband. I'm talking about a lover... 13 00:00:30,982 --> 00:00:34,179 that's been much more loyal and seductive than a husband. 14 00:00:34,444 --> 00:00:37,118 I'm talking about that business we call show. 15 00:00:37,322 --> 00:00:39,199 - Forty years. - No. 16 00:00:39,365 --> 00:00:42,198 Forty years ago today, I did my first play, off-Broadway. 17 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,129 - Off-Broadway? - Cleveland. 18 00:00:44,288 --> 00:00:45,565 That is off-Broadway. 19 00:00:45,577 --> 00:00:48,043 Anyhow, I thought I'd throw a big party... 20 00:00:48,292 --> 00:00:51,523 food, booze, a little song, a little dance, a little salsa down your pants. 21 00:00:51,754 --> 00:00:53,791 - Well, count me and my pants in. - Wonderful. 22 00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:56,114 I will even drag Luke there. 23 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,258 So if there's any audience participation, please pick on him. 24 00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:00,825 - Luke won't come. - Sure he will. 25 00:01:00,972 --> 00:01:03,043 I have very effective methods of persuasion. 26 00:01:03,225 --> 00:01:06,456 They include extremely high heels and all of Jessica Simpson's bath products. 27 00:01:06,686 --> 00:01:09,963 No, honey. The party's on Tuesday. The thirtieth. 28 00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:13,148 - So? - So the thirtieth is the dark day. 29 00:01:14,778 --> 00:01:15,893 What dark day? 30 00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:18,419 Luke's dark day. The day that he disappears. 31 00:01:18,616 --> 00:01:20,414 - Disappears? Where? - Nobody knows. 32 00:01:20,576 --> 00:01:21,845 Nobody knows where he goes or what he does. 33 00:01:21,869 --> 00:01:23,429 All we know is not to try and find him. 34 00:01:23,538 --> 00:01:26,496 - Why didn't I know about this? - I don't know, honey. Everyone else does. 35 00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:29,221 Anyhow, you come yourself, okay? 8:00. 36 00:01:29,502 --> 00:01:31,891 I'll be there. See you Tuesday, Patty. 37 00:01:34,131 --> 00:01:37,762 Oh, Pasqualie, the maestro. My God, you look virile today. 38 00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:41,003 - Are you sure your wife won't share you? - She's good. 39 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,853 - I don't agree. - You're living in a fantasy world. 40 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,386 - I have classes all day long. - I hear you protesting. 41 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,459 I've got a double major of poli-sci and bio-chem, Terrence. 42 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,818 - I see you over-scheduling. - Sorry, I'm just getting water here. 43 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:52,163 Paris, you're not yelling at me. You're yelling at the world. 44 00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:55,021 I'm not yelling at all. This is the natural register of my voice. 45 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:58,734 It's the register of a timid little girl who is not putting herself out there. 46 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:02,806 - I am putting myself out there. - Why are you arguing with Terrence? Why? 47 00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:07,099 Look, I know I haven't dated lately, but Asher was very important to me. 48 00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:10,872 Hey, Paris, I can't find my notebook. The black one with all my yellow notes in it. 49 00:03:11,109 --> 00:03:13,339 You have not put yourself out there. 50 00:03:13,529 --> 00:03:14,803 He just died. 51 00:03:14,947 --> 00:03:17,587 Oh, for God's sake. He was halfway dead when you met him. 52 00:03:17,783 --> 00:03:20,094 Rory, has she been putting herself out there or not? 53 00:03:20,286 --> 00:03:22,084 - Out where? - Out in the world. 54 00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:24,557 Has she tried to meet men since Asher died? 55 00:03:24,749 --> 00:03:27,263 You don't just meet people. It doesn't happen. 56 00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:28,562 I'll just go in my room now. 57 00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:30,862 Look at your Dream Log. You are months behind. 58 00:03:31,047 --> 00:03:32,720 And your Pretty-Thoughts Journal. 59 00:03:32,882 --> 00:03:34,953 Okay, fine. I have neglected thinking pretty. 60 00:03:35,134 --> 00:03:37,411 But I hardly think I should be penalized for time lost... 61 00:03:37,596 --> 00:03:40,033 - while you were in court-ordered rehab. - Hey, Paris, what's this? 62 00:03:40,057 --> 00:03:41,057 I had a back problem. 63 00:03:41,183 --> 00:03:42,981 The prescription was at home in my Filofax. 64 00:03:43,143 --> 00:03:44,975 This is a message from Headmaster Charleston. 65 00:03:45,145 --> 00:03:47,136 - When did Headmaster Charleston call? - Earlier. 66 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,703 - And you didn't tell me? - I'm in session. 67 00:03:50,734 --> 00:03:53,044 Hello, Headmaster Charleston, this is Rory Gilmore. 68 00:03:53,237 --> 00:03:56,117 I'm sorry it took so long to call you back. I just got your message. 69 00:03:56,324 --> 00:03:58,124 Sweetie, that was a little passive-aggressive. 70 00:03:58,243 --> 00:04:01,554 - We should talk later. - So, how are you? 71 00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:05,463 - I'm very well. How are you enjoying Yale? - I love it. 72 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,311 Is it everything you thought it would be? 73 00:04:07,335 --> 00:04:09,730 It's nothing like I thought it would be. It's better, actually. 74 00:04:09,754 --> 00:04:11,792 I have no doubt. Now, I'm calling... 75 00:04:11,966 --> 00:04:14,162 because we often ask a former Chilton student... 76 00:04:14,343 --> 00:04:17,062 to host a prospective Yale student for a couple of days. 77 00:04:17,263 --> 00:04:20,263 Show them around, let them observe classes, campus life. That sort of thing. 78 00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:22,390 - I was wondering if you'd be interested. - Me? 79 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:27,191 Yes, this is a very special young lady. Bright, focused, quietly determined. 80 00:04:27,481 --> 00:04:29,996 - She reminds me a great deal of you. - Thank you. 81 00:04:30,194 --> 00:04:31,867 I assume you haven't changed. 82 00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:35,101 I've upgraded the wardrobe a little bit, but I'm basically still me. 83 00:04:35,324 --> 00:04:37,244 Excellent. Then I hope you'll consider accepting. 84 00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:39,400 I know your workload must be substantial. 85 00:04:39,578 --> 00:04:42,138 - That's okay. I can handle it. - So, I can take that as a "Yes"? 86 00:04:42,247 --> 00:04:44,158 Yes, take it as a "Yes," and thank you. 87 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,450 - I'm honored. - Her name is Anna Fairchild. 88 00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:49,142 She's 16 years old, and she'll be arriving... 89 00:04:49,339 --> 00:04:51,899 Monday morning at 9:00. Does that work for you? 90 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,082 - That works perfectly. - Very well. It's a date. 91 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,410 I'm very glad to talk to you again, Miss Gilmore. 92 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,587 Yale certainly sounds like it's agreeing with you. 93 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,722 I hope it will also agree with Miss Fairchild. 94 00:05:00,892 --> 00:05:02,610 - Like Sabrina. - I beg your pardon? 95 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:06,843 - Sabrina Fairchild. That was her name. - Did we segue into discussing a movie? 96 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:10,065 - And we can segue right out again. - I'm very grateful for that. 97 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:14,396 All right, then. My office will be contacting you with the particulars. 98 00:05:14,657 --> 00:05:17,297 I hope you have a wonderful time. I'm sure Miss Fairchild will. 99 00:05:17,493 --> 00:05:19,513 Thank you, Headmaster Charleston. I won't let you down. 100 00:05:19,537 --> 00:05:22,849 What a nice thing to hear. I'm sure we'll be talking soon. 101 00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:24,642 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 102 00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:28,137 - This is a very big honor, you know. - Oh, I know. 103 00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,974 Of all the Chilton alumni at Yale, they're asking you? 104 00:05:31,174 --> 00:05:32,369 I know. I know. 105 00:05:32,509 --> 00:05:33,611 Well, have you thought about... 106 00:05:33,635 --> 00:05:35,355 what kinds of things you'd like to show her? 107 00:05:35,512 --> 00:05:37,948 Well, she'll go to all of my classes with me, of course. 108 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:40,180 And I thought maybe she'd go to the paper with me... 109 00:05:40,351 --> 00:05:41,751 and then I thought, maybe a trip... 110 00:05:41,894 --> 00:05:44,010 to the Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library. 111 00:05:44,188 --> 00:05:46,020 Oh, you're going to show her the Gutenberg. 112 00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:47,190 - Steve? - Bible. 113 00:05:47,316 --> 00:05:48,756 - Right. - Then I was torn between... 114 00:05:48,818 --> 00:05:50,658 taking her to the Hewitt Memorial Quadrangle... 115 00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:52,652 or the science center and gymnasium. 116 00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:53,822 That is a conundrum. 117 00:05:53,948 --> 00:05:56,145 Yeah, especially since she'll be snoring by then. 118 00:05:56,326 --> 00:05:58,840 You'll just be dragging her dead body weight around the campus. 119 00:05:59,037 --> 00:06:01,187 Lorelai, these things are of great interest... 120 00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:04,092 to any young person considering attending Yale. 121 00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:05,293 Oh, I am sure. 122 00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:08,298 I personally would enjoy every single thing on my list. 123 00:06:08,505 --> 00:06:12,625 Yes, I know, but it wouldn't hurt to maybe throw a little something fun in. 124 00:06:12,886 --> 00:06:14,081 I'm not talking a kegger... 125 00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:16,939 but just walk her by the crazy drama students yelling... 126 00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:18,868 "Give me a location." or something like that. 127 00:06:18,892 --> 00:06:21,168 - You know, your mother may be right. - Who heard that? 128 00:06:21,352 --> 00:06:24,470 Well, a good college experience is a well-rounded college experience. 129 00:06:24,689 --> 00:06:27,681 It's important for you to show her that Yale students have fun, too. 130 00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,018 - Have her touch the toe. - Yeah. 131 00:06:30,196 --> 00:06:33,746 - Touch the toe? - The toe. The statue of Theodore Woolsey. 132 00:06:33,991 --> 00:06:36,071 It brings good luck to everyone who touches his feet. 133 00:06:36,243 --> 00:06:39,283 And for that reason, he has one left toe that's been rubbed completely shiny. 134 00:06:39,455 --> 00:06:40,650 Wow, that is fun. 135 00:06:40,789 --> 00:06:42,905 Make sure you get a parent-consent form for that one. 136 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:46,793 Oh, it is so exciting watching you at Yale. It was such a wonderful time for me. 137 00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:48,232 The people that you meet there... 138 00:06:48,256 --> 00:06:50,568 will stay with you for the rest of your life. Mark my words. 139 00:06:50,592 --> 00:06:53,279 - Tell me, are you making good friends? - Yeah, I have some good friends. 140 00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:56,375 - And what about Mr. Huntzberger? - Who is Mr. Huntzberger? 141 00:06:56,598 --> 00:06:58,669 Logan Huntzberger's a boy I go to school with. 142 00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:00,921 - A fine boy, from a fine family. - You know him? 143 00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:02,782 His parents are very good friends of ours. 144 00:07:02,938 --> 00:07:05,135 - You know Mitchum Huntzberger, Lorelai. - No. 145 00:07:05,316 --> 00:07:07,002 He's been coming to our Christmas parties for years. 146 00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,026 No. 147 00:07:08,152 --> 00:07:11,270 His mother's on the pediatric hospital committee with your mother. 148 00:07:11,489 --> 00:07:13,400 - No. - Well, Logan is their son. 149 00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:16,428 And I noticed that you two seemed to be hitting it off the other night. 150 00:07:16,452 --> 00:07:18,762 - The other night? - He's very nice, Grandpa. 151 00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:21,789 Now, I don't want to be too forward, but you made a handsome couple. 152 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,072 Was this Logan at the male Yale party you guys threw? 153 00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:26,564 He's the one who gave me a ride home, Mom. 154 00:07:26,588 --> 00:07:28,625 Oh, Limo-boy. Swell. 155 00:07:28,799 --> 00:07:30,039 He's also on the paper with me. 156 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:32,647 His father owns some of the finest newspapers in the country. 157 00:07:32,844 --> 00:07:34,960 - I know. - Not a bad connection, huh? 158 00:07:35,514 --> 00:07:37,869 Nope, not a bad connection at all. 159 00:07:40,436 --> 00:07:43,269 - Hey, so tell me about this Logan. - It's 3 degrees out here. 160 00:07:43,481 --> 00:07:46,401 As of tonight, my father knows way more personal dish about you than I do. 161 00:07:46,526 --> 00:07:49,882 That's not right or fair. He doesn't get as much enjoyment out of the dish as I do. 162 00:07:50,113 --> 00:07:51,298 For him, the dish is always half-empty. 163 00:07:51,322 --> 00:07:53,442 You're just talking to keep yourself warm, aren't you? 164 00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:55,135 What is the deal with this guy? Are you dating? 165 00:07:55,159 --> 00:07:56,638 No, we're not dating. He's just a friend. 166 00:07:56,662 --> 00:07:58,542 How close? For example, if we freeze to death... 167 00:07:58,664 --> 00:08:00,976 will he come to the funeral or just send a nice fruit basket? 168 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,978 I know him from school. He's just a casual friend. That's it. 169 00:08:03,002 --> 00:08:05,522 - Do you think he's cute? - It doesn't matter if I think he's cute. 170 00:08:05,546 --> 00:08:07,315 It matters to me. I don't want ugly grandchildren. 171 00:08:07,339 --> 00:08:09,171 Mom, I'm not dating Logan or anyone. 172 00:08:09,341 --> 00:08:12,301 Since Dean, I'm taking a boy break, okay? I'm just concentrating on school. 173 00:08:12,511 --> 00:08:15,152 - Fine, but if that changes... - You'll be the first to know. 174 00:08:15,348 --> 00:08:17,994 Okay, thank you. 'Cause there are not many ways I can outdo my father. 175 00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:20,487 Info on you, and looking better in chiffon, that's about it. 176 00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:22,405 Oh, and my pole dance is way hotter. 177 00:08:22,564 --> 00:08:24,714 - I'm frozen now. - Okay, let's go. 178 00:08:25,817 --> 00:08:27,410 In my hand, ladies and gentlemen... 179 00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:30,322 sits the true advantage of dating a diner owner. 180 00:08:30,531 --> 00:08:33,000 I am never more than 10 feet away from pie. 181 00:08:33,451 --> 00:08:36,364 See, I thought it was the way we always smell faintly of meat. 182 00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:37,579 Oh, it's heaven. 183 00:08:37,705 --> 00:08:40,458 One quick trip downstairs, and I have all the treats I want. 184 00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:43,738 - You're like Willy Wonka but hotter. - I am not hotter than Willy Wonka. 185 00:08:43,961 --> 00:08:46,714 Slap on a purple top hat, and you're close. 186 00:08:52,512 --> 00:08:53,911 This is nice. 187 00:08:54,056 --> 00:08:55,126 [Luke muttering agreement] 188 00:08:56,141 --> 00:08:59,259 I think it's going very well, you and me. You think it's going very well? 189 00:08:59,478 --> 00:09:01,469 I have very few complaints. 190 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:04,085 I'm going right past the "very few complaints" comment... 191 00:09:04,274 --> 00:09:07,427 'cause I know you're just trying to bait me. What complaints? 192 00:09:07,654 --> 00:09:08,928 Hey, so, Luke... 193 00:09:09,072 --> 00:09:12,667 Miss Patty is celebrating her 40-year anniversary. 194 00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:15,389 - Which husband? - With the business we call show. 195 00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:16,727 Oh, him. 196 00:09:16,871 --> 00:09:20,102 And she's having a big party, and I told her we'd go. 197 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,333 Oh, man. 198 00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:23,929 - It'll be fun. - It will not be fun. 199 00:09:24,129 --> 00:09:26,723 She'll be wearing tap shoes, and there'll be songs and punch... 200 00:09:26,924 --> 00:09:28,995 and at least one story about Milton Berle's penis. 201 00:09:29,176 --> 00:09:31,056 - Only one? - Come on, I have to have you there. 202 00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:32,781 Otherwise, people will think I made you up. 203 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,478 - Fine, I'll go. - Thank you. 204 00:09:35,432 --> 00:09:37,582 Okay, so, it's Tuesday at 8:00. 205 00:09:39,186 --> 00:09:40,586 I can't go Tuesday. 206 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,607 - Why not? - I have to go out of town. 207 00:09:42,774 --> 00:09:44,003 - Why? - Business. 208 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,380 Business? Now you're Willy Loman? 209 00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:49,130 Banking business in Woodbury. Standing appointment. Sorry. 210 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,632 Hit the light, will you? I have to get up early. 211 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,895 Night. 212 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,184 Okay, night. 213 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:05,127 Wait till you see all the stuff I got for Anna. 214 00:10:05,590 --> 00:10:09,379 Yale T-shirt, Bulldog sweatshirt, Yale baseball cap, visor, coffee mug. 215 00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:12,275 I told you to open a window when you're hot-gluing in here. 216 00:10:12,471 --> 00:10:14,064 It's freezing outside. 217 00:10:14,224 --> 00:10:16,420 Oh, wait. This is new. They just came out with these. 218 00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:19,594 - The Yale soda cozy. How cute is that? - I can't believe you. 219 00:10:19,813 --> 00:10:22,000 You don't even have your loser card-swiping job anymore... 220 00:10:22,024 --> 00:10:24,419 and you're buying all this crap for some kid you don't even know? 221 00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:25,883 I'm trying to make her feel welcome. 222 00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:28,258 Oh, she'll feel welcome. They all feel welcome. 223 00:10:28,447 --> 00:10:29,596 - Who's they? - The enemy. 224 00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:30,403 What enemy? 225 00:10:30,415 --> 00:10:32,699 Any girl under the age of 17 is the enemy. 226 00:10:32,911 --> 00:10:35,264 - Okay, I'm opening a window now. - They're coming for everything. 227 00:10:35,288 --> 00:10:37,962 They're going to take our jobs, our thunder, our starter husbands. 228 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:40,269 - Don't you have a class to get to? - They're coming, Rory. 229 00:10:40,293 --> 00:10:41,896 They're coming, and they're going to keep on coming... 230 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,877 like the locusts descending on Mankato. 231 00:10:44,047 --> 00:10:46,402 We'll be beating them off for the rest of our lives. 232 00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:49,512 Please, don't be here when she arrives. I don't want you to scare her off. 233 00:10:49,637 --> 00:10:51,150 Me? Scare her off? Please. 234 00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:53,740 She's the one with the alabaster skin and the perky breasts. 235 00:10:53,933 --> 00:10:55,293 Do not say "perky breasts" to her. 236 00:10:55,434 --> 00:10:58,552 - Do you understand me? - Eve Harrington has arrived. 237 00:10:59,521 --> 00:11:03,674 - Hi, I'm looking for Rory Gilmore. - I'm Rory. You must be Anna. 238 00:11:03,943 --> 00:11:06,059 - Yes. - Great, come in. 239 00:11:06,238 --> 00:11:08,593 - Did you find it okay? - I got lost a couple of times... 240 00:11:08,782 --> 00:11:10,853 but people were really nice and got me here. 241 00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:13,423 Yeah, it's a friendly world out there, isn't it? 242 00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:16,089 Anna, this is my roommate, Paris, and I'm sorry. 243 00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:17,848 - For what? - Trust me. 244 00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,076 Okay. 245 00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:20,927 Okay, let me show you around the place. 246 00:11:21,086 --> 00:11:22,963 - That is Paris' room. - Don't go in. 247 00:11:23,129 --> 00:11:24,130 That is my room. 248 00:11:24,257 --> 00:11:27,090 And this is the common room, which is also your bedroom. 249 00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:29,259 The bathroom is literally outside the door. 250 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:29,577 Okay. 251 00:11:29,762 --> 00:11:32,641 And there's a fridge with water or soda or whatever you want. 252 00:11:32,848 --> 00:11:35,647 Oh, and I got you some welcome-to-Yale gifts. 253 00:11:35,851 --> 00:11:37,603 Oh, really? Thank you. 254 00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:40,284 I'm really glad you're here. You are going to love Yale. 255 00:11:40,481 --> 00:11:41,517 It's an amazing place. 256 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,610 I mean, I was excited when I first started here... 257 00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:45,171 but every day is different and better. 258 00:11:45,195 --> 00:11:47,505 You have no idea how much there is to learn. It's... 259 00:11:47,698 --> 00:11:52,169 - Well, you'll see. - Okay, I actually snagged us some caviar. 260 00:11:52,452 --> 00:11:55,285 They were all out of toast points, but I think we can use Doritos... 261 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,807 and achieve a very similar result. Hey. 262 00:11:58,126 --> 00:11:59,958 - This is Anna. - Did Paris move? 263 00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:02,039 - I'm right here, Marty. - I know, Paris. 264 00:12:02,213 --> 00:12:05,888 Anna is from Chilton, my alma mater. I'm showing her around Yale for a few days. 265 00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,236 Oh, cool. I'll put this in the fridge. 266 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,295 [Paris clearing throat] 267 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,463 In my room. 268 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,712 - Thanks. Okay, you ready? - I'm ready. 269 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:16,283 - You have boys bringing you food. - Yale is a magical place, Anna. 270 00:12:16,604 --> 00:12:18,880 A magical, magical place. 271 00:12:21,859 --> 00:12:24,612 The oldest part of the campus is, of course, the Old Campus... 272 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,380 and it houses most of the undergraduate freshman class. 273 00:12:27,573 --> 00:12:29,849 It was begun by Theodore Dwight Woolsey... 274 00:12:30,034 --> 00:12:33,187 President of Yale from 1846 to 1871. 275 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:36,254 Over here is the Elihu Yale bench. 276 00:12:36,499 --> 00:12:39,935 Now, Eli Yale was an officer in the British East India Company. 277 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:42,446 He gave what was then called the Collegiate School... 278 00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:46,989 £562 and 417 books and a portrait of King George I. 279 00:12:47,427 --> 00:12:49,816 And so it was renamed in his honor. 280 00:12:50,181 --> 00:12:52,934 He actually gave an additional £500 to the school... 281 00:12:53,142 --> 00:12:55,895 but Yale College never received it because he mistakenly sent it... 282 00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:57,901 to the nonexistent Collegiate School... 283 00:12:58,064 --> 00:13:00,704 apparently forgetting that Yale was named after him. 284 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:01,935 [Rory exclaiming] 285 00:13:02,068 --> 00:13:03,627 Wait, this is the wrong bench. 286 00:13:03,778 --> 00:13:05,538 So keep the story, but cross out the diagram. 287 00:13:05,696 --> 00:13:08,371 Moving on. There's actually an ongoing rumor... 288 00:13:08,575 --> 00:13:10,887 that you can automatically graduate and earn your degree... 289 00:13:10,911 --> 00:13:13,351 if you become sufficiently fluent in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. 290 00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:15,848 Imagine all the tables you could wait with those skills, huh? 291 00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:19,557 Okay, you are about to get a firsthand feel... 292 00:13:19,795 --> 00:13:22,150 of what it's like to work on a real newspaper. 293 00:13:22,339 --> 00:13:23,339 Now be prepared. 294 00:13:23,465 --> 00:13:25,503 It is an extremely hectic, fast-paced environment. 295 00:13:25,677 --> 00:13:28,954 Don't get intimidated, and don't get in the way. Ready? 296 00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:31,001 Here it is. 297 00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:34,543 Everyone must be out getting a scoop or something... 298 00:13:34,727 --> 00:13:35,727 but you just wait. 299 00:13:35,853 --> 00:13:39,483 It can heat up in a second. And when it does, man, watch out. 300 00:13:39,732 --> 00:13:42,486 - My desk is over here. - I do not care. 301 00:13:42,695 --> 00:13:45,972 Hey, I am your editor, Paris, and I demand that you tell me. 302 00:13:46,198 --> 00:13:47,791 I won't tell you where I got it, Doyle. 303 00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:49,861 You will if you want to stay on this newspaper. 304 00:13:50,035 --> 00:13:53,107 Okay, you are now privy to one of the classic journalistic dilemmas... 305 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,809 between reporter and editor: 306 00:13:54,957 --> 00:13:56,675 the right to withhold and protect sources. 307 00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,854 Damn it, Paris, you tell me where you got that pen right now. 308 00:13:58,878 --> 00:14:00,759 - The pen fairy. - That is one of my personal... 309 00:14:00,922 --> 00:14:03,242 fine-point gel-tip pens from my bottom right-hand drawer... 310 00:14:03,383 --> 00:14:06,063 and you went into that drawer, and you took that pen, and it's mine. 311 00:14:06,219 --> 00:14:07,732 Okay, for "fine-point gel-tip"... 312 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:11,722 substitute "confidential source deep within the administration." 313 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,542 You get a little thrill, don't you? 314 00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:14,643 [Cell phone ringing] 315 00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:16,371 Hang on a sec. 316 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,099 Hey. 317 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:21,031 Question: have you ever heard anything about Luke's dark day? 318 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,270 His what? 319 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,713 Well, one day a year, he apparently has a dark day. 320 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,705 No one knows where he goes or what he does. He just disappears. 321 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,422 I've heard nothing about this. 322 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,091 Okay, well, did we see him on November 30th last year? 323 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,328 How am I supposed to know? 324 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,851 Because you keep all those crazy, anal Bob Graham kind of notebooks. 325 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,076 "8:00 a.m.: got up. 8:15: brushed teeth." 326 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:42,087 "8:25: had impure thoughts. 8:36: sent dwarves off to work." 327 00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,290 I do not have my diaries from last November... 328 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,468 on me at the moment. 329 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:46,914 - But you do have them. - Yes. 330 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,282 And they will contain where we ate breakfast that morning. 331 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,376 Yes. 332 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,871 - I love my little circus freak. - I'll call you later. 333 00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:55,789 - Did your Mini-Me show up? - Yeah, her name's Anna. She's right here. 334 00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:57,929 - How's the tour going? - It's going great. 335 00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,668 How many boring bench lectures did you give? 336 00:14:59,692 --> 00:15:01,292 Two, but they were about the same bench. 337 00:15:01,444 --> 00:15:04,298 You know what? I have someone standing abnormally close to me, right now. 338 00:15:04,322 --> 00:15:06,383 - I'll call you later? - Okay, say hi to Kirk for me. 339 00:15:06,407 --> 00:15:08,479 Okay, bye. Kirk, what can I do for you? 340 00:15:08,661 --> 00:15:11,016 - I have a business proposition for you. - Okay. 341 00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:13,924 - How often do you slip in your tub? - Never. 342 00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:15,852 Okay, it doesn't work if you answer like that. 343 00:15:15,876 --> 00:15:17,771 Constantly. I never stop slipping, even when I get out. 344 00:15:17,795 --> 00:15:19,115 I thought so. Then my new line... 345 00:15:19,255 --> 00:15:22,452 of bath-and-shower adhesive decals are for you. 346 00:15:22,675 --> 00:15:24,507 "Yesterday, today, and tomorrow." 347 00:15:24,677 --> 00:15:27,318 Yesterday's retro designs in today's fashion colors... 348 00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:29,425 with tomorrow's traction technology. 349 00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:33,274 Well, Kirk, this looks very impressive and, wow, very expensive. 350 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,160 Well, it's yesterday's retro designs in today's fashion colors... 351 00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:37,796 with tomorrow's traction technology. 352 00:15:37,857 --> 00:15:39,669 Well, why don't you leave the catalog with me... 353 00:15:39,693 --> 00:15:40,693 and I'll look it over? 354 00:15:40,819 --> 00:15:42,171 Could you look at it now? It's my only one. 355 00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:43,425 Okay. 356 00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:44,781 I like that one. 357 00:15:44,907 --> 00:15:48,616 If you put the fishes' faces together, it looks like they're kissing. 358 00:15:48,869 --> 00:15:49,939 [Laughing politely] 359 00:15:50,705 --> 00:15:53,663 Hey, Kirk, do you know anything about Luke's dark day? 360 00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:56,469 - Everyone knows about Luke's dark day. - Do you know what it is? 361 00:15:56,669 --> 00:15:59,183 Not the details, just that he has it once a year. 362 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,611 - I think it goes back a long, long time. - Yeah? 363 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,713 Sure, I mean, Luke's always had a touch of darkness in him. 364 00:16:04,928 --> 00:16:06,407 I guess we all do, but... 365 00:16:06,555 --> 00:16:08,228 Luke's a little more touched than some. 366 00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:09,710 He's kind of grabbed, actually. 367 00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:11,010 What do you think it's about? 368 00:16:11,059 --> 00:16:13,972 When I was in seventh grade, Luke knocked the books out of my hands. 369 00:16:14,187 --> 00:16:15,222 Because of his dark day? 370 00:16:15,355 --> 00:16:17,155 No, everyone knocked my books out of my hands. 371 00:16:17,274 --> 00:16:20,347 I was kind of a target. I used to wear a cape to school. 372 00:16:23,865 --> 00:16:26,983 Now, outside, we just passed the women's table... 373 00:16:27,201 --> 00:16:29,078 which was designed by Maya Lin. 374 00:16:29,245 --> 00:16:31,805 She's also the one who designed the Vietnam War Memorial... 375 00:16:31,998 --> 00:16:34,798 which, by the way, originally was a class project... 376 00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:36,231 for which she received a B. 377 00:16:36,378 --> 00:16:37,732 The teacher who gave her the B... 378 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,474 also submitted a design for the war memorial... 379 00:16:40,674 --> 00:16:42,745 but hers was chosen. His was not. 380 00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:44,725 That's a life lesson to remember. 381 00:16:44,887 --> 00:16:47,879 This is Sterling Memorial Library. 382 00:16:48,098 --> 00:16:50,453 One of my favorite places on campus. 383 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,397 It was built in 1930, and it houses over one-third... 384 00:16:53,605 --> 00:16:56,199 of the university's 10 million volumes. 385 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:57,924 I love libraries. 386 00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:00,981 I just spend I can't tell you how many hours just... 387 00:17:01,196 --> 00:17:03,233 - You're not writing. - Oh, sorry. 388 00:17:04,115 --> 00:17:06,502 So I come here sometimes, late at night... 389 00:17:06,514 --> 00:17:08,586 I just love how everybody's dressed. 390 00:17:08,954 --> 00:17:10,628 - What? - No uniforms. 391 00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:12,588 I love that there's no uniforms. 392 00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:16,141 - College to me means no more uniforms. - Oh, right. 393 00:17:16,504 --> 00:17:18,190 However, wait till you're late for class... 394 00:17:18,214 --> 00:17:20,364 and it takes you 20 minutes to put together an outfit. 395 00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:22,188 Suddenly you'll miss those uniforms. 396 00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:25,540 How many guys have you dated since you've been here? 397 00:17:25,805 --> 00:17:26,806 Oh, well, none from Yale. 398 00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:29,811 Anyhow, the books. Are you seeing the books? 399 00:17:30,852 --> 00:17:33,002 Everything you'd want to read is right here. 400 00:17:33,188 --> 00:17:34,383 Feel it. 401 00:17:34,731 --> 00:17:37,007 Feels good, right? Now smell it. 402 00:17:38,068 --> 00:17:40,582 Nothing, nothing, smells like that. 403 00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:43,661 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Did I just see you smell that book? 404 00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:46,255 - Hey, Logan. - Hey, Ace. Who's your friend? 405 00:17:46,452 --> 00:17:49,331 Oh, Anna, this is Logan. Logan, this is Anna. She's from my high school. 406 00:17:49,539 --> 00:17:51,019 - I'm showing her around campus. - Hi. 407 00:17:51,082 --> 00:17:53,995 Well, high school? Nah, I would've sworn you're a college girl. 408 00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:57,231 - So, is she showing you a good time? - I'm showing her everything important. 409 00:17:57,255 --> 00:17:58,816 Good. Make sure she takes you by the pub. 410 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,160 Local place. Everyone goes there. 411 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,293 - I'm not taking her to the pub. - Oh, please? The pub sounds fun. 412 00:18:03,512 --> 00:18:05,272 You don't have to drink. They do have coffee. 413 00:18:05,431 --> 00:18:07,784 It's a cool scene. Make her take you. Bring a book to sniff. 414 00:18:07,808 --> 00:18:09,327 What are you doing in a library anyhow? 415 00:18:09,351 --> 00:18:12,662 Got lost. Don't tell anyone I was here. Ruin my rep. Anna, it's been a pleasure. 416 00:18:12,897 --> 00:18:14,410 See you, Ace. 417 00:18:14,565 --> 00:18:18,160 - He's cute. - Yes, he is, but not as cute as Pushkin. 418 00:18:18,612 --> 00:18:20,091 Right this way, Missy. 419 00:18:21,323 --> 00:18:22,393 [Luke shouting] 420 00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:30,224 LUKE: Fine. Do whatever you want. 421 00:18:30,248 --> 00:18:31,809 MRS THOMPSON: Well, I'm sorry you're so upset. 422 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:33,153 You're giving me a week's notice. 423 00:18:33,251 --> 00:18:34,854 What am I supposed to do with a week's notice? 424 00:18:34,878 --> 00:18:37,566 Well, my son just called me from Florida to tell me about the condo, Luke. 425 00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:38,819 Okay, fine, go. Enjoy Florida. 426 00:18:38,966 --> 00:18:41,247 I hear they have great weather there. Terrific hurricanes. 427 00:18:41,302 --> 00:18:43,280 Make sure you bring plenty of plywood and bottled water. 428 00:18:43,304 --> 00:18:44,907 - Hey, hi, hello. - What are you doing here? 429 00:18:44,931 --> 00:18:46,700 I was just driving down the street, and I saw you. 430 00:18:46,724 --> 00:18:48,160 I thought I'd stop by and say "hey, hi, hello." 431 00:18:48,184 --> 00:18:49,777 - Hello, Mrs. Thompson. - Hello, dear. 432 00:18:49,936 --> 00:18:51,955 - So what's going on? - Nothing. Nothing's going on. 433 00:18:51,979 --> 00:18:54,096 Luke, please understand. There's nothing I can do. 434 00:18:54,274 --> 00:18:56,753 I've already found someone to rent the house. And they have cars. 435 00:18:56,777 --> 00:18:59,464 - And you just agreed to that? - Well, it seemed rather reasonable to me. 436 00:18:59,488 --> 00:19:01,286 Oh, come on. 437 00:19:02,199 --> 00:19:04,588 - Luke's very upset with me. - Why? 438 00:19:04,785 --> 00:19:06,095 Well, his father rented the garage. 439 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,759 He was building a boat, and he didn't have room at his place... 440 00:19:08,956 --> 00:19:10,355 so he paid me to do it here. 441 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,094 And then when he died, Luke continued to pay for the garage. 442 00:19:13,294 --> 00:19:16,446 And now I'm moving to a nursing home, and I need him to move his boat. 443 00:19:16,673 --> 00:19:19,472 You're mad because this little old lady is moving to a nursing home... 444 00:19:19,676 --> 00:19:20,819 and you have to move your boat? 445 00:19:20,843 --> 00:19:22,488 Is this really the story you want to stick to? 446 00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:24,981 She called me out of the blue, and I paid for an entire month. 447 00:19:25,181 --> 00:19:27,058 I can give you a partial refund if you like. 448 00:19:27,225 --> 00:19:29,661 Where am I supposed to find a space to store a boat... 449 00:19:29,853 --> 00:19:30,888 on a moment's notice? 450 00:19:31,021 --> 00:19:33,410 Did you think about that for even a second? 451 00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:34,802 Could we sit down? 452 00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,933 The doctor says the screw in my hip is loose. 453 00:19:37,111 --> 00:19:40,342 Yes, yes, let's sit. Let's sit and calmly try to figure this out. 454 00:19:40,573 --> 00:19:43,486 No, no. I've got it figured out. Just haul it off. Trash it. 455 00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:44,781 - Haul what off? - The boat? 456 00:19:44,868 --> 00:19:46,064 Yes, the boat. Scrap it. 457 00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:47,484 Find somebody to drag it away... 458 00:19:47,581 --> 00:19:49,381 - and cut it up for firewood. - Oh, now, Luke. 459 00:19:49,541 --> 00:19:50,576 Who's gonna haul it off? 460 00:19:50,709 --> 00:19:52,700 Anyone. Just find a guy with a truck and a hook. 461 00:19:52,877 --> 00:19:55,073 And strap it on and drive it away and send me the bill. 462 00:19:55,255 --> 00:19:56,815 - I'm done. - Luke. We'll be right back. 463 00:19:56,881 --> 00:19:59,191 Luke, stop. What, what, and what? 464 00:19:59,384 --> 00:20:01,898 I have been paying that woman every month for 15 years. 465 00:20:02,095 --> 00:20:03,407 Luke, she's moving to a nursing home. 466 00:20:03,431 --> 00:20:05,701 And my dad was paying her every month 20 years before that. 467 00:20:05,725 --> 00:20:07,494 - Nursing home, Luke. - I know where she's going. 468 00:20:07,518 --> 00:20:09,350 - She's not trying to hurt you. - Whatever. 469 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,238 - Where are you going? - Back to the diner. 470 00:20:11,397 --> 00:20:12,592 - Let me drive you. - No. 471 00:20:12,732 --> 00:20:14,092 I can drive you back to the diner. 472 00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:17,620 I promise if we pass any senior citizens, I'll let you jump out and pants them. 473 00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:18,897 Fine. 474 00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:29,174 And over here we have the world-famous Luke's Diner... 475 00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:31,126 home of the best coffee on the East Coast... 476 00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:33,250 and the most delightful and chatty proprietor... 477 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:35,297 since Mel kissed Flo's grits. 478 00:20:37,759 --> 00:20:40,148 Okay, well, I should get back to the inn. 479 00:20:41,179 --> 00:20:42,897 I hope you've enjoyed your tour... 480 00:20:43,056 --> 00:20:47,050 and don't forget to buy yourself a souvenir plastic monkey on the way out. 481 00:20:49,938 --> 00:20:52,737 Tomorrow's the anniversary of my dad's death. 482 00:20:54,443 --> 00:20:55,558 Oh, hon... 483 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,755 And every year on that anniversary... 484 00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:02,380 I disappear. I don't work. I don't talk to anyone. 485 00:21:02,576 --> 00:21:05,409 I get into kind of a funk. It's like... 486 00:21:05,871 --> 00:21:07,191 You have a dark day. 487 00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:09,049 Yeah, I have a dark day. 488 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:13,043 I thought I should tell you this because we're in a relationship. 489 00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:16,026 I thought you might wonder... 490 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:19,610 why I suddenly don't answer the phone or I'm not around. 491 00:21:19,844 --> 00:21:21,642 Why you can't flip your hair... 492 00:21:21,805 --> 00:21:25,036 and con me into going to Miss Patty's crazy anniversary party. 493 00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:28,347 - The hair flip is that effective? - You combine that with your black dress... 494 00:21:28,478 --> 00:21:30,479 you could probably get me to be your backup dancer. 495 00:21:30,648 --> 00:21:31,968 I'll remember that. 496 00:21:32,108 --> 00:21:36,500 I've never told anyone this before. I don't really like to talk about it. 497 00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:39,419 I guess that explains the thing with Mrs. Thompson. 498 00:21:39,615 --> 00:21:40,650 Yeah. 499 00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:42,899 Some timing, her springing this boat thing on me now. 500 00:21:43,077 --> 00:21:44,875 I'll apologize to her. 501 00:21:46,999 --> 00:21:48,990 You know, he never finished that boat. 502 00:21:49,167 --> 00:21:51,556 It's been sitting there half-done for 15 years. 503 00:21:51,753 --> 00:21:53,314 Hey, Luke, don't you think you might have been... 504 00:21:53,338 --> 00:21:55,614 a little too hasty about the boat decision? 505 00:21:55,799 --> 00:21:56,914 I mean, you're upset... 506 00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:59,360 and I bet someday you're gonna be really sorry... 507 00:21:59,553 --> 00:22:01,544 you don't have that boat anymore. 508 00:22:01,722 --> 00:22:04,317 No, it's better she gets rid of the thing now. 509 00:22:05,143 --> 00:22:06,704 - But... - I haven't even looked at that boat... 510 00:22:06,728 --> 00:22:08,685 since my dad got sick. It's... 511 00:22:08,938 --> 00:22:12,010 - Not a glance, nothing. - Even more reason. 512 00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:15,191 If it's gone, then I don't have to deal with it. 513 00:22:15,486 --> 00:22:17,523 It's time to move on, you know? 514 00:22:17,697 --> 00:22:19,574 - But... - I'm fine, really. 515 00:22:22,077 --> 00:22:24,307 - Thanks for the ride. - Anytime. 516 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:37,723 - I love it here. - You love it here? We just walked in. 517 00:22:37,927 --> 00:22:40,044 I know, but it feels so collegiate. 518 00:22:40,221 --> 00:22:42,417 Actually, you know what is great about this place? 519 00:22:42,599 --> 00:22:45,512 - Eli Yale drank here? - No, they make amazing cappuccinos. 520 00:22:45,727 --> 00:22:46,762 - You want one? - Yeah. 521 00:22:46,895 --> 00:22:49,197 Okay, you go sit, and I'll get the coffees. 522 00:22:49,209 --> 00:22:49,569 Okay. 523 00:22:49,773 --> 00:22:51,250 - Two cappuccinos, please. - Sure thing. 524 00:22:51,274 --> 00:22:52,469 Hey. 525 00:22:52,609 --> 00:22:54,008 - Hi, you just get here? - Yeah. 526 00:22:54,152 --> 00:22:55,552 - You want a... - Yes, please. 527 00:22:55,696 --> 00:22:57,733 I'm sorry. Could you make that three cappuccinos? 528 00:22:57,907 --> 00:22:58,907 So, how's it going? 529 00:22:59,033 --> 00:23:01,993 I think I may have overwhelmed Anna. Her hand cramped up about an hour ago. 530 00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:04,115 And it's been spasming ever since. 531 00:23:04,288 --> 00:23:05,390 - Where is she? - She's right... 532 00:23:05,414 --> 00:23:06,600 - Really? - You wanna go to a party tonight? 533 00:23:06,624 --> 00:23:08,183 I turn around for one minute. 534 00:23:08,334 --> 00:23:09,369 [Anna chattering] 535 00:23:09,502 --> 00:23:10,697 Excuse me. 536 00:23:10,836 --> 00:23:12,797 Oh, Rory, Mark and Matthew were just telling me... 537 00:23:12,839 --> 00:23:14,193 about a great party tonight. 538 00:23:14,341 --> 00:23:18,255 Really? That was very nice of them. Thank you, Matthew and Mark, was it? 539 00:23:18,512 --> 00:23:20,310 - That's right. - Well, how biblical. 540 00:23:20,472 --> 00:23:23,783 Okay, well, our schedule is completely full at the moment... 541 00:23:24,142 --> 00:23:26,258 but if that changes, if things lighten up... 542 00:23:26,436 --> 00:23:29,315 or if she suddenly ages two years in the next three hours... 543 00:23:29,523 --> 00:23:32,562 then we'll know where to find you, okay? Bye-bye, now. Bye-bye. 544 00:23:32,777 --> 00:23:35,132 We'll be over here, just in case. 545 00:23:36,656 --> 00:23:38,408 - Rory. - Anna. 546 00:23:38,575 --> 00:23:40,930 Oh, this is so not fair. You get to talk to boys. 547 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:42,154 What? 548 00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:44,164 Well, you were over there talking to Marty. 549 00:23:44,330 --> 00:23:48,609 That's different. Marty's just a friend, which is another great thing about college. 550 00:23:48,877 --> 00:23:52,950 You learn to have guy friends. Nothing romantic, just a good pal. 551 00:23:53,215 --> 00:23:55,411 Those boys are not interested in your friendship... 552 00:23:55,593 --> 00:23:57,743 unless the word "friendship" is tattooed on your butt. 553 00:23:57,928 --> 00:23:59,760 Now, drink your coffee. 554 00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:01,573 It's good, huh? 555 00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:04,694 Can I sleep with the TV on? 556 00:24:04,853 --> 00:24:07,973 Yeah, as long as you don't wake Paris up. And that advice is for your own good. 557 00:24:08,064 --> 00:24:10,376 - And if I can't go to sleep? - Then you don't go to sleep. 558 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,595 I love that. 559 00:24:11,735 --> 00:24:14,693 I love not having someone tell me when to go to sleep. 560 00:24:14,905 --> 00:24:17,624 - Yes, it's great. - I love sleeping with the TV on... 561 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:20,896 and I love having no parents around, and I love cappuccino... 562 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,509 and I love apple muffins, and I love college. 563 00:24:23,706 --> 00:24:24,706 What's she on? 564 00:24:24,832 --> 00:24:26,912 Four cappuccinos and three Red Bulls from the fridge. 565 00:24:27,043 --> 00:24:29,271 - Enjoy your night. How do I look? - Where are you going? 566 00:24:29,295 --> 00:24:30,695 I'm putting myself out there, Rory. 567 00:24:30,755 --> 00:24:31,790 - Now? - Yes, now. 568 00:24:31,923 --> 00:24:32,958 It's 11:00 at night. 569 00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:35,235 Who are you hoping to hook up with now, Spike and Drusilla? 570 00:24:35,259 --> 00:24:37,047 Just tell me if my lipstick is too whorish. 571 00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:38,099 No, just whorish enough. 572 00:24:38,220 --> 00:24:41,532 Going out at 11:00 at night? I love college. 573 00:24:42,267 --> 00:24:43,826 I may suffocate her when I get back. 574 00:24:43,977 --> 00:24:45,337 - Hey, if you can catch her. - Bye. 575 00:24:45,437 --> 00:24:46,586 Good luck. 576 00:24:47,189 --> 00:24:49,339 - Good night, Anna. - Night. 577 00:24:49,650 --> 00:24:50,799 [Man chattering on TV] 578 00:24:52,736 --> 00:24:54,647 Which brings us to this question: 579 00:24:54,821 --> 00:24:59,055 Does Campbell's work successfully resolve the disparate stances of Jung and Freud... 580 00:24:59,327 --> 00:25:01,523 when it comes to the collective unconscious? 581 00:25:01,704 --> 00:25:02,704 Hey, pay attention. 582 00:25:02,830 --> 00:25:05,768 Professor Bell is one of the foremost philosophy professors in the country. 583 00:25:05,792 --> 00:25:07,472 - Sorry. - Bordered on being metaphysical? 584 00:25:07,627 --> 00:25:09,857 All right, let's call that close enough. 585 00:25:10,046 --> 00:25:12,879 But now, Campbell can point to the repetition of the hero myth... 586 00:25:13,091 --> 00:25:14,844 in culture after culture and say: 587 00:25:15,010 --> 00:25:17,001 "Hey, Sigmund, like it or not... 588 00:25:17,179 --> 00:25:19,819 "here are the same basic characters over and over"... 589 00:25:20,015 --> 00:25:21,369 Excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 590 00:25:21,517 --> 00:25:22,869 I'm right in the middle of a class, young man. 591 00:25:22,893 --> 00:25:25,646 I know. I'm sorry, I just... Rory, you can't just walk out like that. 592 00:25:25,854 --> 00:25:28,814 Not after everything we've been through. You just left. I was still in bed. 593 00:25:29,024 --> 00:25:30,344 I mean, what is that all about? 594 00:25:30,484 --> 00:25:31,671 Okay, you need to do this later. 595 00:25:31,695 --> 00:25:35,654 I can't do this later. Rory, I love you. I love you, damn it. 596 00:25:35,907 --> 00:25:38,467 How many times do I have to tell you? God, just talk to me. 597 00:25:38,660 --> 00:25:40,856 - Okay, out. Right now. Just get... - Colin. 598 00:25:41,037 --> 00:25:43,157 - What are you doing, man? - Get the hell out of here. 599 00:25:43,206 --> 00:25:44,392 She's with me now. I told you. Let it go. 600 00:25:44,416 --> 00:25:45,851 - I will not let it go. - She doesn't love you. 601 00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:47,019 Rory, tell him you don't love him. 602 00:25:47,043 --> 00:25:48,717 Everything was fine until you came along. 603 00:25:48,879 --> 00:25:50,566 Don't blame me 'cause you couldn't keep her. 604 00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:53,742 - I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you. - Oh, I'd love to see you try. 605 00:25:53,968 --> 00:25:57,086 Stop it. Stop it right now. Anthony, get security. 606 00:25:58,556 --> 00:26:00,706 Break it up. What are you... 607 00:26:00,891 --> 00:26:04,885 Gentlemen, you are losing control. You're in a classroom with students... 608 00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,554 [Blowing whistle] 609 00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:10,627 All right, that's enough. Break it up, you two. 610 00:26:12,487 --> 00:26:15,445 Rory Gilmore, you should be ashamed of yourself. 611 00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:17,826 Toying with these boys like this. 612 00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:21,190 They used to have pride. They used to have dignity. 613 00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:23,333 They used to have balls. 614 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:24,653 [Students laughing] 615 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:29,051 Damn it, Gilmore, give them back their balls. 616 00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:46,626 - God, this is a lot of junk. - I know. 617 00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:49,568 Who has three Thighmasters besides Suzanne Somers? 618 00:26:49,777 --> 00:26:51,495 Well, Mrs. Thompson, apparently. 619 00:26:51,654 --> 00:26:54,965 You'd think if you had three Thighmasters, you'd wear some slacks once in a while. 620 00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:57,637 I'm sorry, but why exactly did you have to take all this crap? 621 00:26:57,661 --> 00:26:59,891 It was the only way I could get her to give me the boat. 622 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,993 Some guy wanted it, and she got him to buy all her other crap. 623 00:27:03,208 --> 00:27:05,324 So if I wanted the boat, I had to take everything... 624 00:27:05,502 --> 00:27:06,901 and that's what I did. 625 00:27:07,045 --> 00:27:08,981 I just have to hide it for a few days, then I'll move it. 626 00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:10,439 - Where? - I don't know. 627 00:27:10,590 --> 00:27:13,389 Somewhere. The inn. I'll put it in the old stable out back. 628 00:27:13,593 --> 00:27:15,267 - Are you ever gonna tell Luke? - Yes. 629 00:27:15,429 --> 00:27:16,988 - When? - A week, a year. 630 00:27:17,139 --> 00:27:18,659 I haven't thought that far in advance. 631 00:27:18,766 --> 00:27:21,121 I just couldn't let her get rid of his dad's boat. 632 00:27:21,310 --> 00:27:22,870 What if we hang the Thighmasters on it? 633 00:27:22,895 --> 00:27:24,932 - Or get more trees. - Yeah, or get more trees. 634 00:27:25,106 --> 00:27:27,584 - Jackson's got some trees at home. - Think I could borrow them? 635 00:27:27,608 --> 00:27:30,408 Sure, we'll just wait till he lies down for his nap and sneak them out. 636 00:27:30,611 --> 00:27:31,851 Great, then I'll hop a fence... 637 00:27:31,904 --> 00:27:33,976 and get Richard Widmark to sign my grapefruit. 638 00:27:34,157 --> 00:27:37,707 I'd like to welcome you all to today's speed-dating session. 639 00:27:37,995 --> 00:27:41,670 Many of you have been with us before. Many of you are first-timers. 640 00:27:41,915 --> 00:27:46,625 For the latter group, here are the rules. Each couple will have one minute to talk... 641 00:27:47,087 --> 00:27:49,044 and get a sense of the person across from them. 642 00:27:49,214 --> 00:27:52,128 When the bell rings, the women will get up and switch tables. 643 00:27:52,343 --> 00:27:53,697 Men, stay where you are. 644 00:27:53,845 --> 00:27:56,485 This will continue until every woman has met every man... 645 00:27:56,681 --> 00:27:58,513 and after that, it's up to you. 646 00:27:58,683 --> 00:28:01,436 Are we all ready? Then let the dating begin. 647 00:28:01,686 --> 00:28:02,686 [Bell ringing] 648 00:28:03,521 --> 00:28:05,080 - I'm Jack. - Paris. 649 00:28:05,273 --> 00:28:06,708 Did your parents travel a lot? 650 00:28:06,859 --> 00:28:08,258 - Why? - Your name is Paris. 651 00:28:08,402 --> 00:28:10,632 No. Did your parents change flat tires a lot? 652 00:28:10,821 --> 00:28:11,821 What? 653 00:28:11,947 --> 00:28:13,747 - Or plug the phone into the wall a lot? - No. 654 00:28:13,824 --> 00:28:15,861 Great, so we've cleared up that mystery. 655 00:28:16,035 --> 00:28:18,834 What's next on your fascinating list of talking points? 656 00:28:19,038 --> 00:28:20,472 - What's your major? - Seriously? 657 00:28:20,623 --> 00:28:22,455 You've got one minute to make an impression... 658 00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:24,066 and that's all you can come up with? 659 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:27,048 You want to know my sign, too, Jack? Or how about my favorite color? 660 00:28:27,255 --> 00:28:30,691 Or if I'm a Britney or a Christina? Here, I'll ask you a question. 661 00:28:30,926 --> 00:28:32,997 Was the last time you had an interesting thought... 662 00:28:33,178 --> 00:28:34,906 when you considered flinging yourself off a building? 663 00:28:34,930 --> 00:28:35,965 [Bell ringing] 664 00:28:36,097 --> 00:28:38,771 Bye, Jack. I'll write Mother immediately. 665 00:28:41,061 --> 00:28:43,656 Paris, and no, my parents didn't travel. 666 00:28:44,273 --> 00:28:46,389 Billy, and I have no idea what that means. 667 00:28:46,567 --> 00:28:49,764 - Never mind. So, what's your story, Billy? - Well, I'm a drama major. 668 00:28:49,987 --> 00:28:51,057 Ding-ding-ding. 669 00:28:54,075 --> 00:28:55,554 - Doyle. - Paris. 670 00:28:55,910 --> 00:28:58,630 - I'm surprised to see you here. - I could say the same for you. 671 00:28:58,830 --> 00:29:00,150 So, you find any good prospects? 672 00:29:00,290 --> 00:29:02,566 - Yes, one girl wants to have 11 children. - Good God. 673 00:29:02,751 --> 00:29:05,345 The second one was cut off quickly. Thank you, by the way. 674 00:29:05,545 --> 00:29:08,185 The words "Latter-Day Saints" were about to come out of her mouth. 675 00:29:08,382 --> 00:29:10,851 - I can't believe I came here. - It's my third time. 676 00:29:11,051 --> 00:29:12,971 You ever meet anyone you actually wanted to date? 677 00:29:13,095 --> 00:29:14,813 My bar is so not that high. 678 00:29:14,972 --> 00:29:18,091 I don't see one person in this room that shouldn't be sterilized immediately. 679 00:29:18,309 --> 00:29:19,309 Right there with you. 680 00:29:19,435 --> 00:29:21,551 So, you've been reading about those skeletons... 681 00:29:21,729 --> 00:29:23,769 they've been finding on the island of Flores, right? 682 00:29:23,940 --> 00:29:26,669 Oh, yeah. They're only 13,000 years old. That's nothing in geological time. 683 00:29:26,693 --> 00:29:28,730 They made tools and probably had a language and... 684 00:29:28,903 --> 00:29:29,903 [Bell ringing] 685 00:29:32,824 --> 00:29:34,498 Keep moving, sister. 686 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,240 Hey, you know they were supposed to be master hunters. 687 00:29:38,372 --> 00:29:39,975 Even though they were diminutive in size. 688 00:29:39,999 --> 00:29:42,513 And then, when that other guy came in in that outfit... 689 00:29:42,710 --> 00:29:43,984 how great was that? 690 00:29:44,128 --> 00:29:47,280 We also studied Dylan Thomas today. Why don't we talk about that for a while? 691 00:29:47,506 --> 00:29:48,735 Yeah, that was cool. 692 00:29:48,882 --> 00:29:52,877 But when Logan and Colin started to fight, that was so amazing. 693 00:29:53,138 --> 00:29:56,176 The teacher had nothing to say, nothing. He just stood there. 694 00:29:56,391 --> 00:29:59,668 - Think they'll get in trouble for that? - Oh, probably not. 695 00:30:00,145 --> 00:30:02,375 God, that's great. The freedom. 696 00:30:02,564 --> 00:30:06,558 I mean, you can do anything in college. No rules, no consequences. 697 00:30:06,818 --> 00:30:09,618 Anna, there are always consequences. You're getting the wrong idea. 698 00:30:09,822 --> 00:30:13,861 College is not just a crazy, wild, sleep-deprived hedonistic society. 699 00:30:15,411 --> 00:30:16,481 [Doyle exclaiming] 700 00:30:16,829 --> 00:30:20,265 - Oh. It wasn't the TV. - No, it wasn't the TV. 701 00:30:20,499 --> 00:30:23,457 - This isn't what it looks like. - I hope not. 702 00:30:25,672 --> 00:30:27,822 - I told you it wasn't the TV. - Hi, Paris. 703 00:30:28,008 --> 00:30:30,761 - All right, fine. Doyle and I had sex. - Okay, Anna, get your coat. 704 00:30:30,969 --> 00:30:33,406 We met at speed-dating, and we considered having dinner first... 705 00:30:33,430 --> 00:30:35,700 but we both knew where it was going to end up, so we figured... 706 00:30:35,724 --> 00:30:37,535 we'd just cut to the chase and save the calories. 707 00:30:37,559 --> 00:30:38,870 - Hurry up, Anna. - Where are we going? 708 00:30:38,894 --> 00:30:40,851 - Dinner. - It's only 5:00. 709 00:30:41,229 --> 00:30:44,109 You've no right to be repulsed by my sex life. 710 00:30:46,319 --> 00:30:48,230 This is an exceptionally comfortable robe. 711 00:30:48,404 --> 00:30:51,396 Dinner whenever you want, random sex whenever you want. 712 00:30:51,616 --> 00:30:53,766 I can't wait to go to college. 713 00:30:58,206 --> 00:31:01,757 - Ice cream and cereal for dinner. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. College rocks. 714 00:31:02,002 --> 00:31:03,800 - Ladies. - Hi, Logan. 715 00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:07,083 - How are we doing this fine evening? - We're doing great. You want to join us? 716 00:31:07,216 --> 00:31:08,286 Sure. 717 00:31:08,676 --> 00:31:10,986 - So, dull day, huh? - Not for me. 718 00:31:11,762 --> 00:31:14,276 - Someone's quiet. - Got nothing to say. 719 00:31:14,556 --> 00:31:15,909 Do you get the sense that she's mad at me? 720 00:31:15,933 --> 00:31:16,969 Yup. 721 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,234 Hey, Anna, why don't you head on over to the fro-yo social? 722 00:31:20,438 --> 00:31:21,582 You remember where it is, right? 723 00:31:21,606 --> 00:31:23,722 Yeah, but I just had three scoops of ice cream. 724 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,938 Kid, you're in college now, okay? Now, go get yourself some yogurt. 725 00:31:27,153 --> 00:31:28,348 Are you going to come, Logan? 726 00:31:28,488 --> 00:31:31,048 I'm not sure how well I'll be walking, here, in a minute, Anna. 727 00:31:31,241 --> 00:31:33,039 Oh, okay. Bye. 728 00:31:38,124 --> 00:31:39,922 That's not a good look. 729 00:31:40,084 --> 00:31:42,519 - I have no words. - It was just a joke. 730 00:31:42,712 --> 00:31:46,910 Oh, no, wait. I thought of some: jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate... 731 00:31:47,174 --> 00:31:50,405 mindless, frat-boy, lowlife, butt-faced miscreant. 732 00:31:50,636 --> 00:31:51,957 "Butt-faced miscreant?" 733 00:31:52,097 --> 00:31:55,374 - Why would you do something like that? - I'm sorry, "butt-faced miscreant"? 734 00:31:55,601 --> 00:31:58,400 Here I am, trying to show Anna what college life is really like... 735 00:31:58,604 --> 00:32:02,040 - That is what college life is really like. - Maybe your college life, not mine. 736 00:32:02,274 --> 00:32:03,274 That was my class, Logan. 737 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,914 That was my professor who decides my grades... 738 00:32:06,111 --> 00:32:07,784 and you made me look ridiculous to him. 739 00:32:07,946 --> 00:32:09,506 No, I made me look ridiculous to him. 740 00:32:09,657 --> 00:32:11,577 Oh, you don't think he thinks I was a part of it? 741 00:32:11,743 --> 00:32:14,054 I'll talk to him. I'll tell him you were an innocent bystander. 742 00:32:14,078 --> 00:32:15,958 The whole class was in a frenzy the entire time. 743 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,991 We never got back to what we were talking about. 744 00:32:18,166 --> 00:32:19,565 There's another class next week. 745 00:32:19,709 --> 00:32:22,906 I know that classes and the paper and Yale in general... 746 00:32:23,129 --> 00:32:25,518 mean nothing to you, but it means something to me. 747 00:32:25,715 --> 00:32:28,026 Professor Bell's course is only six weeks long... 748 00:32:28,218 --> 00:32:29,778 and you blew one of those weeks for me. 749 00:32:29,929 --> 00:32:31,009 I won't get that week back. 750 00:32:31,055 --> 00:32:33,742 Look, you want a close and personal time with Bell, my dad knows him. 751 00:32:33,766 --> 00:32:35,366 - He'll arrange... - Please stop talking. 752 00:32:35,476 --> 00:32:38,195 I'm sorry you're so bent out of shape. I didn't mean to upset you. 753 00:32:38,395 --> 00:32:40,068 Anna thinks that Yale is just a big joke. 754 00:32:40,230 --> 00:32:43,310 If Anna thinks Yale is just a big joke after spending five minutes with you... 755 00:32:43,485 --> 00:32:46,477 then she was always gonna think Yale was just a big joke. Relax. 756 00:32:46,696 --> 00:32:48,687 You and me, very different people. 757 00:32:48,865 --> 00:32:50,264 I have to go. 758 00:32:50,867 --> 00:32:52,062 To the fro-yo social? 759 00:32:52,202 --> 00:32:54,796 Yes, I have to go to the fro-yo social. 760 00:32:55,246 --> 00:32:58,637 And yes, I do realize how incredibly stupid that just sounded. 761 00:32:58,875 --> 00:33:00,104 Excuse me. 762 00:33:01,754 --> 00:33:04,394 All I'm saying is I just want a little information. 763 00:33:04,590 --> 00:33:06,900 Is this a relationship? A one-night stand? 764 00:33:07,093 --> 00:33:09,403 The beginning of a series of late-night booty calls? 765 00:33:09,595 --> 00:33:10,915 I think I have the right to know. 766 00:33:11,055 --> 00:33:13,492 TERRENCE: [On speaker phone] I hear you. Doyle, do you hear her? 767 00:33:13,516 --> 00:33:15,189 I do hear her. I just don't understand... 768 00:33:15,351 --> 00:33:17,031 why we can't decide this amongst ourselves. 769 00:33:17,186 --> 00:33:20,862 Because you can't, Doyle. Now, please tell Paris how you feel. 770 00:33:22,150 --> 00:33:23,265 Well, I feel that... 771 00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:25,712 Speak into the phone, Doyle. I can't hear you. 772 00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:27,463 - Is Anna here? - No, why? 773 00:33:27,614 --> 00:33:29,446 She didn't show up at the fro-yo social. 774 00:33:29,616 --> 00:33:31,527 - Jeez, do you blame her. - I have to find her. 775 00:33:31,702 --> 00:33:33,302 Why? Did you loan her money or something? 776 00:33:33,453 --> 00:33:36,253 Just go back to what you were doing, please. 777 00:33:36,833 --> 00:33:40,383 Hey, Marty, I lost Anna. I don't know where. 778 00:33:41,212 --> 00:33:42,361 Just... Thanks. 779 00:33:42,505 --> 00:33:44,303 If she comes back here, call me. 780 00:33:44,465 --> 00:33:46,183 Go ahead, Doyle. Tell him. 781 00:33:46,634 --> 00:33:50,104 - Any idea where she'd go? - No, she was supposed to meet me. 782 00:33:50,346 --> 00:33:52,253 I can't believe I let her go off by herself. 783 00:33:52,265 --> 00:33:53,226 Well, we'll find her. 784 00:33:53,434 --> 00:33:54,469 - Mom. - Hi. 785 00:33:54,602 --> 00:33:57,116 Where would a 16-year-old girl go for a good time? 786 00:33:57,313 --> 00:34:00,385 Oh, how sad that you had to come to me for this conversation. 787 00:34:00,608 --> 00:34:03,122 - Mom. - You were 16 a lot more recently than me. 788 00:34:03,319 --> 00:34:05,549 - I lost Anna. - How did you lose Anna? 789 00:34:05,738 --> 00:34:07,331 She never showed at the fro-yo social. 790 00:34:07,489 --> 00:34:10,767 Okay, relax. 16-year-old girl at college. You have to check parties. 791 00:34:10,994 --> 00:34:12,985 Bars and Chinese restaurants rarely card. 792 00:34:13,163 --> 00:34:15,763 - No Chinese restaurants around. - The pub. Did you check the pub? 793 00:34:15,915 --> 00:34:18,102 No. The pub. We have to check the pub. Parties and the pub. 794 00:34:18,126 --> 00:34:20,364 Okay, call me when you... [Luke exclaiming] 795 00:34:20,503 --> 00:34:22,335 I have to go, hon. Call me when you find her. 796 00:34:22,505 --> 00:34:23,825 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 797 00:34:25,342 --> 00:34:29,098 - Oh, my God. Are you okay? - I smashed my leg on a Thighmaster. 798 00:34:29,597 --> 00:34:30,712 I'm so sorry. 799 00:34:30,848 --> 00:34:32,784 Yeah, and then I tripped and smashed my other leg... 800 00:34:32,808 --> 00:34:34,640 - on another Thighmaster. - I'm sorry. 801 00:34:34,810 --> 00:34:36,687 Why the hell do you have so many Thighmasters? 802 00:34:36,854 --> 00:34:39,734 I have a really bad thigh complex. Are you bleeding? You want to come in? 803 00:34:39,774 --> 00:34:41,492 No, I'm fine. I just... 804 00:34:41,692 --> 00:34:43,410 You left your glasses at my house. 805 00:34:43,569 --> 00:34:45,330 - I thought you might need them. - Thank you. 806 00:34:45,405 --> 00:34:46,507 I didn't think you'd be here. 807 00:34:46,531 --> 00:34:48,197 I thought you were going to Patty's thing. 808 00:34:48,209 --> 00:34:49,010 I was just leaving. 809 00:34:49,034 --> 00:34:50,564 I don't have to go if you want to come in. 810 00:34:50,576 --> 00:34:51,137 No, it's okay. 811 00:34:51,161 --> 00:34:53,994 I'm still going through my dark day. I'm gonna go. 812 00:34:54,206 --> 00:34:56,720 Okay. Sorry about your foot. 813 00:34:56,917 --> 00:34:58,597 - What's going on with your garage? - What? 814 00:34:58,669 --> 00:35:00,495 Your garage door looks all weird. 815 00:35:00,507 --> 00:35:03,028 Oh, no, it's fine. It's jammed. Just leave it. 816 00:35:03,549 --> 00:35:06,746 You can't leave it open like that. You could ruin all your stuff. 817 00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:09,490 That's okay. Too much stuff anyhow. If a little bit gets ruined... 818 00:35:09,514 --> 00:35:11,394 serves me right for being so darn materialistic. 819 00:35:11,516 --> 00:35:13,676 - What are all these trees doing here? - No, just stop. 820 00:35:13,851 --> 00:35:15,663 Go back to your dark day. No, no, don't, don't. 821 00:35:15,687 --> 00:35:17,883 There's clowns in there and puppies wearing costumes... 822 00:35:18,064 --> 00:35:21,535 and they'll cheer you up, and then your dark day will be ruined. 823 00:35:25,406 --> 00:35:26,760 What is this? 824 00:35:26,907 --> 00:35:27,584 It's your boat. 825 00:35:27,596 --> 00:35:29,501 I thought I told her to get rid of this boat. 826 00:35:29,702 --> 00:35:33,138 She did. She sold it to me with all of her other crap. She made a killing, actually. 827 00:35:33,372 --> 00:35:34,692 I just couldn't stand the idea... 828 00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:38,508 that you might regret someday giving this boat away. 829 00:35:38,753 --> 00:35:41,666 - Even though I said I wanted it gone? - Yes, I know, but you were upset. 830 00:35:41,881 --> 00:35:45,875 - No, I was cranky. Now I'm upset. - I'm sorry. I just thought... 831 00:35:46,136 --> 00:35:48,656 You thought about you. You thought about you and how you'd feel. 832 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,720 You didn't think about me or the fact that I said... 833 00:35:50,890 --> 00:35:52,410 I wanted to get rid of this damn boat. 834 00:35:52,475 --> 00:35:54,447 I said it, you heard it, and you ignored it. 835 00:35:54,459 --> 00:35:55,753 Because I didn't want you... 836 00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:59,336 You have no respect for what I wanted. This was my dad. 837 00:35:59,859 --> 00:36:02,214 This was his boat, and this decision was mine. 838 00:36:02,403 --> 00:36:04,201 - This was not yours. - I know. 839 00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:05,363 This is who I am. 840 00:36:05,489 --> 00:36:07,878 I don't want to hang on to things or stare at things. 841 00:36:08,075 --> 00:36:09,110 Except my horoscope... 842 00:36:09,243 --> 00:36:11,964 which is absolutely the wrong thing to bring up right now. I'm sorry. 843 00:36:12,164 --> 00:36:13,844 - I'm getting out of here. - No, I'm sorry. 844 00:36:13,874 --> 00:36:17,105 Please, just stay and yell at me. 845 00:36:17,336 --> 00:36:19,936 Why? What's the point? You don't listen to anything I say, anyhow. 846 00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:27,392 - She's nowhere. - She's not nowhere. 847 00:36:27,554 --> 00:36:29,034 This is all my fault. 848 00:36:29,182 --> 00:36:31,822 - There's more bars. We'll find her. - God, I'm so stupid. 849 00:36:32,018 --> 00:36:33,704 If I didn't have to confront Logan like that... 850 00:36:33,728 --> 00:36:37,005 I wouldn't have had to send her off on her own and we wouldn't be looking for her. 851 00:36:37,231 --> 00:36:38,460 We'll find her. 852 00:36:38,691 --> 00:36:40,568 He's so frustrating, that guy. 853 00:36:40,735 --> 00:36:42,880 I mean, I don't know what I did to get on his bad side... 854 00:36:42,904 --> 00:36:44,656 or why he just has to come after me like... 855 00:36:44,822 --> 00:36:46,143 - Oh, stop it. - What? 856 00:36:46,283 --> 00:36:48,923 He's not coming after you. He likes you. 857 00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:51,269 - He does not. - Oh, please, Rory. 858 00:36:51,455 --> 00:36:54,095 Marty, he does not like me. I mean, look at what he did. 859 00:36:54,291 --> 00:36:57,170 Look at that stunt that he pulled. He totally humiliated me. 860 00:36:57,378 --> 00:37:00,894 Attention like that from people like Logan is like being tapped. 861 00:37:01,256 --> 00:37:04,249 - You've been anointed. You're in. - In what? 862 00:37:04,469 --> 00:37:07,109 In with him, with his group. He likes you. 863 00:37:07,389 --> 00:37:10,108 - Stop being so naive. It's annoying. - Marty... 864 00:37:10,350 --> 00:37:11,420 [Cell phone ringing] 865 00:37:12,686 --> 00:37:13,801 Hello? 866 00:37:13,937 --> 00:37:15,894 Miss Gilmore, Headmaster Charleston here. 867 00:37:16,064 --> 00:37:18,738 Oh, hi, Headmaster Charleston. What's going on? 868 00:37:18,942 --> 00:37:20,502 Well, not much. Thank you for asking. 869 00:37:20,653 --> 00:37:23,167 I was just wondering how things are going with Miss Fairchild. 870 00:37:23,364 --> 00:37:25,594 - Oh, fine. - Yes? 871 00:37:25,783 --> 00:37:26,853 Everything's great. 872 00:37:26,993 --> 00:37:28,904 Wonderful. Then I can inform Anna's parents... 873 00:37:29,078 --> 00:37:31,308 that the underage girl the Yale campus police found... 874 00:37:31,497 --> 00:37:34,535 when they broke up a rather raucous party is, in fact, not their daughter. 875 00:37:34,750 --> 00:37:38,142 - I'm sorry, Headmaster Charleston. - And what a help that is. 876 00:37:38,380 --> 00:37:41,179 I tried. I just... I turned around for a moment. 877 00:37:41,383 --> 00:37:43,736 Did she tell you about the bench? 'Cause I spent a lot of time... 878 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,512 I'm sorry, Miss Gilmore. I have to go. 879 00:37:45,679 --> 00:37:48,558 Some angry parents will be here in a moment to talk to me. 880 00:37:48,765 --> 00:37:50,915 I appreciate the attempt. Good luck at Yale. 881 00:37:51,101 --> 00:37:53,092 Bye, Headmaster Charleston. 882 00:37:53,603 --> 00:37:55,356 The campus police got her. 883 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:58,641 She came, she spent one day with me, and she got sent home by the police. 884 00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:01,170 And I think I'm going to retroactively flunk high school. 885 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,751 - At least she's safe, right? - Right. 886 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,956 Crappy, crappy day. 887 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,349 You want to take a cab? My treat. 888 00:38:14,126 --> 00:38:15,275 Thanks. 889 00:38:17,254 --> 00:38:19,052 I think I'm gonna walk. 890 00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:21,531 - Marty... - I'll see you tomorrow. 891 00:38:33,104 --> 00:38:35,664 - What are you doing? - I smell like trees. 892 00:38:35,857 --> 00:38:37,006 You do? 893 00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:38,310 [Lorelai muttering agreement] 894 00:38:38,985 --> 00:38:40,055 Hey, me, too. 895 00:38:40,195 --> 00:38:42,789 Now we're the crazy pine-scented ladies. 896 00:38:43,949 --> 00:38:46,065 - How's your punch? - It's good. 897 00:38:49,455 --> 00:38:50,650 You okay? 898 00:38:50,831 --> 00:38:52,629 Yeah, fine, just fine. 899 00:38:52,792 --> 00:38:56,387 Thank you. Thank you, everyone. 900 00:38:56,963 --> 00:38:59,682 I'm honored that you came here... 901 00:38:59,882 --> 00:39:03,273 to help me celebrate 40 wonderful years on the stage. 902 00:39:03,511 --> 00:39:06,789 It feels so good to be here in front of an audience... 903 00:39:07,057 --> 00:39:09,287 and so close to a piano. 904 00:39:10,936 --> 00:39:13,052 So close to a piano. 905 00:39:14,940 --> 00:39:15,975 Kirk. 906 00:39:16,817 --> 00:39:17,817 Sorry. 907 00:39:18,485 --> 00:39:21,045 Hey, Patty, why don't you do a little something for us? 908 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,708 Well, if you insist. Hit it. 909 00:39:24,033 --> 00:39:25,103 [Guests cheering] 910 00:39:29,247 --> 00:39:31,284 [Patty singing Coffee Song by Frank Sinatra] 911 00:39:53,022 --> 00:39:54,740 I'll be right back. 912 00:40:02,115 --> 00:40:03,150 Hey. 913 00:40:06,536 --> 00:40:07,651 See, there's a reason... 914 00:40:07,787 --> 00:40:10,747 I stay away from people on this particular day. It's 'cause I kind of suck. 915 00:40:10,832 --> 00:40:13,632 Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry. I should have listened to you. 916 00:40:13,836 --> 00:40:16,828 I should have stayed out of it. You were right. I didn't think. 917 00:40:17,048 --> 00:40:20,086 I mean, I didn't think like you would think. I thought like I would think... 918 00:40:20,301 --> 00:40:22,696 and my thinking is sometimes very, very wrong if you're not me. 919 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,916 And, occasionally, if you are me. 920 00:40:27,224 --> 00:40:29,784 You just keep thinking like you'd think. 921 00:40:30,479 --> 00:40:31,913 I can do that. 922 00:40:32,564 --> 00:40:34,316 Do you want to come in? You can get drunk... 923 00:40:34,483 --> 00:40:36,042 just standing next to the punch bowl. 924 00:40:36,193 --> 00:40:38,628 - Nah, I'm still kind of... - I get it. 925 00:40:38,862 --> 00:40:41,012 - I just didn't want us to... - We're not. 926 00:40:41,198 --> 00:40:43,917 - Yeah. You go have a good time. - See you tomorrow. 927 00:40:44,117 --> 00:40:46,267 - Yeah, you'll see me tomorrow. - Okay. 928 00:41:24,953 --> 00:41:26,068 Logan. 929 00:41:27,372 --> 00:41:30,364 Richard? Wow, this is a pleasant surprise. 930 00:41:30,583 --> 00:41:33,783 - Finn, Colin, you know Richard, don't you? - Well, hello, boys. Nice to see you. 931 00:41:33,878 --> 00:41:36,836 Logan, I wanted to talk to you. I just heard about the incident. 932 00:41:37,048 --> 00:41:37,361 The... 933 00:41:37,373 --> 00:41:39,198 I heard that you professed your feelings... 934 00:41:39,384 --> 00:41:40,420 - for Rory. - What? 935 00:41:40,553 --> 00:41:43,784 Mr. Bell is a very dear friend of mine. As is the Dean of Admissions. 936 00:41:44,015 --> 00:41:46,370 - You know this place. News travels fast. - Yeah, look... 937 00:41:46,559 --> 00:41:50,473 I have to tell you that, while I understand what could have driven you... 938 00:41:50,730 --> 00:41:52,528 to such a public display of affection... 939 00:41:52,690 --> 00:41:55,000 there is a proper time and place for that sort of thing. 940 00:41:55,192 --> 00:41:57,833 And a classroom in the middle of class is not one of them. 941 00:41:58,030 --> 00:42:01,660 - No, I know. I... - However, what's done is done. It's out. 942 00:42:02,159 --> 00:42:04,958 So I dropped by to tell you that I've spoken to your father. 943 00:42:05,162 --> 00:42:07,073 - My father. - We pounded out a few things... 944 00:42:07,247 --> 00:42:09,238 property agreements, prenups, that sort of thing. 945 00:42:09,416 --> 00:42:11,769 - Okay, I think there's been... - We came to a very fair agreement. 946 00:42:11,793 --> 00:42:13,227 I'm sure you'll be pleased. 947 00:42:13,378 --> 00:42:15,290 Now, we're setting up a dinner for next week... 948 00:42:15,465 --> 00:42:18,218 to finalize the engagement and start talking about the ceremony. 949 00:42:18,426 --> 00:42:20,417 Emily is handling all the newspaper announcements. 950 00:42:20,595 --> 00:42:22,343 So not to worry. That's all taken care of. 951 00:42:22,355 --> 00:42:22,675 But... 952 00:42:22,722 --> 00:42:25,874 She's a fine young lady, Logan. I want her to be happy. 953 00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:28,216 You'll take care of that, I assume. 954 00:42:28,394 --> 00:42:31,068 All right, I'll let you get back to your coffee break. 955 00:42:31,272 --> 00:42:35,983 Nice seeing all of you again. And, Logan, welcome to the family, son. 956 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,753 I do hope one of his dopey-looking friends knows CPR... 957 00:42:51,962 --> 00:42:53,521 or he just might not make it. 958 00:42:53,672 --> 00:42:55,071 You're the best, Grandpa. 959 00:42:55,215 --> 00:42:57,775 All right, who's next? Paris giving you any trouble? 960 00:42:57,968 --> 00:42:59,117 Not any more than usual. 961 00:42:59,260 --> 00:43:01,774 However, there is a girl in my modern poetry class... 962 00:43:01,972 --> 00:43:03,326 who keeps kicking my chair. 963 00:43:03,473 --> 00:43:06,592 - I do love this place. - Right back at you, Grandpa. 964 00:43:06,852 --> 00:43:07,922 [Richard laughing]