1
00:00:01,943 --> 00:00:05,208
Ah, how can you possibly say she looked
better with the dark hair?

2
00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:07,851
She did. The blonde just seemed like
she was trying to be her sister.

3
00:00:07,852 --> 00:00:10,669
The dark hair makes it look like she's
trying not to look like her sister,

4
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:12,439
plus she does not have the
nose for dark hair.

5
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,163
What does that mean?

6
00:00:13,164 --> 00:00:17,271
Dark hair is like a giant light-up arrow
pointing to what is wrong with you.

7
00:00:17,272 --> 00:00:20,240
Blond hair-- it all sort of blends
in in a haze of beige.

8
00:00:20,241 --> 00:00:21,602
Nuts-- you're nuts.

9
00:00:21,603 --> 00:00:22,962
You're double nuts!

10
00:00:22,963 --> 00:00:24,383
All right, that's it.

11
00:00:24,384 --> 00:00:25,954
No more spaghetti and meatballs.

12
00:00:25,955 --> 00:00:27,482
Musepa, come get these plates.

13
00:00:27,483 --> 00:00:28,294
Mom!

14
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,759
Every time we have spaghetti and meatballs,
you fight.

15
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,915
No, no, we're not fighting.
We're just, uh, bonding.

16
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:35,043
Mmm! Grandma, I'm starving!

17
00:00:35,044 --> 00:00:36,656
Take these away-- Mr. Gilmore's also.

18
00:00:36,657 --> 00:00:38,592
- Mom, come on.
- I won't fight anymore.

19
00:00:38,593 --> 00:00:41,429
No. Spaghetti and meatballs is
just too much excitement.

20
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,665
I'm sorry about that.
I left work early today,

21
00:00:43,666 --> 00:00:46,735
and apparently, that caused everyone's
I.Q.s to drop 60 points.

22
00:00:47,136 --> 00:00:48,832
My food is gone.

23
00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:50,257
The girls were fighting.

24
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,213
I told you not to serve spaghetti
and meatballs.

25
00:00:52,214 --> 00:00:54,089
They always fight when we have
spaghetti and meatballs.

26
00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:54,887
That's not true.

27
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,063
We fight just as much when
we have Chinese food.

28
00:00:57,064 --> 00:00:58,888
Can we please talk about
something besides food?

29
00:00:58,889 --> 00:01:01,377
Starvation, scurvy, the Donner party.

30
00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,569
I'm having lasik surgery on my eyes.

31
00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:04,647
Excellent topic.

32
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:05,696
Lasik surgery? Why?

33
00:01:05,697 --> 00:01:08,828
Well, I hate wearing glasses,
so I found the best doctor on the east coast,

34
00:01:08,829 --> 00:01:10,819
made an appointment,
and I'm going in tomorrow.

35
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,739
Personally, I like you with glasses.

36
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,222
It's that whole "dirty librarian"
thing, right, dad?

37
00:01:15,223 --> 00:01:16,464
I beg your pardon.

38
00:01:16,465 --> 00:01:19,629
Three of the girls in my D.A.R.
group had it done already.

39
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:21,437
I'm actually very excited about it.

40
00:01:21,438 --> 00:01:23,785
- I got Dr. Morris...
- The lasik man.

41
00:01:23,786 --> 00:01:26,128
...from Dr. Sugarman, who's my ear, nose,
and throat man.

42
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:29,225
And he said Dr. Morris is brilliant and very,
very handsome.

43
00:01:29,226 --> 00:01:30,300
You never told me this.

44
00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:32,018
He just threw it in at the end of the visit.

45
00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:33,914
I think that's incredibly unprofessional.

46
00:01:33,915 --> 00:01:36,612
Oh, Richard,
he just was saying the man is handsome.

47
00:01:36,613 --> 00:01:38,318
Yes, as if it's a selling point.

48
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:39,324
It can be.

49
00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:42,657
Hardly. Everyone knows ugly
men make the best doctors.

50
00:01:42,658 --> 00:01:44,413
- That's absurd.
- It's a fact.

51
00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:46,688
Marcus Welby was handsome-- and
George Clooney.

52
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:47,787
Fake doctors, mom.

53
00:01:47,788 --> 00:01:49,989
Well, I'm sure they were modeled
after real doctors.

54
00:01:49,990 --> 00:01:51,435
I don't want to talk about this anymore.

55
00:01:51,436 --> 00:01:53,202
He's jealous of Dr. Handsome.

56
00:01:53,203 --> 00:01:55,424
I'm not jealous of Dr. Handsome.

57
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,041
I should go shopping for
something new to wear.

58
00:01:57,042 --> 00:02:00,338
You are not going shopping to get something
new to wear to Dr. Handsome.

59
00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:02,013
Everyone is a little testy tonight.

60
00:02:02,014 --> 00:02:04,130
Maybe she was right about the
spaghetti and meatballs.

61
00:02:04,131 --> 00:02:06,571
Well, let's just talk about something else.

62
00:02:06,572 --> 00:02:08,902
We had lunch with Christopher yesterday.

63
00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:10,414
- You--
- Lunch.

64
00:02:10,415 --> 00:02:11,633
We took him to the club.

65
00:02:11,634 --> 00:02:12,710
Okay, but why?

66
00:02:12,711 --> 00:02:16,479
Because there'd been a lot of tension between
us about the tuition incident,

67
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,668
and your mother and I thought
it was time for a sit-down.

68
00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:22,478
A sit-down? What, did you get Clemenza
to hide a gun in the bathroom first?

69
00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:24,786
We thought it was time to clear the air.

70
00:02:24,787 --> 00:02:26,787
After all, Christopher is Rory's father,

71
00:02:26,788 --> 00:02:29,115
and we wanted him to know there
were no hard feelings.

72
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:29,779
Really?

73
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:32,679
Don't get me wrong.
We're still not happy about the situation,

74
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,023
but since he's going to be involved
in our lives now--

75
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,651
Whoa, whoa. Involved in your lives?

76
00:02:36,652 --> 00:02:38,204
How is he involved in your lives?

77
00:02:38,205 --> 00:02:39,751
Well, he's paying for Rory's college.

78
00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:42,123
Yeah, but is he using your
pen to write the check?

79
00:02:42,124 --> 00:02:43,123
Of course not.

80
00:02:43,124 --> 00:02:46,033
Then I don't see how he's involved in your
lives. He's involved in her life--

81
00:02:46,034 --> 00:02:48,221
Lorelai, will you relax? The lunch went fine.

82
00:02:48,222 --> 00:02:50,148
It was very pleasant,
and Christopher enjoyed it.

83
00:02:50,149 --> 00:02:52,305
That's right. He apologized for everything.

84
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:55,720
He knows that we're no longer angry with him,
and we are all friends again.

85
00:02:55,721 --> 00:02:57,017
Well, with friends like these...

86
00:02:57,018 --> 00:03:00,811
And after lunch, your mother and I began
discussing what we were going to do

87
00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:03,210
with all the money that had been
allotted for Rory's tuition.

88
00:03:03,211 --> 00:03:05,761
And we came up with a brilliant idea.

89
00:03:05,762 --> 00:03:06,984
Oh, yeah? What?

90
00:03:06,985 --> 00:03:09,776
We're going to add some funds
from our foundation

91
00:03:09,777 --> 00:03:14,059
and donate the total amount to
Yale University in your name.

92
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:14,734
What?

93
00:03:14,735 --> 00:03:16,422
That's right, and we'll make sure

94
00:03:16,423 --> 00:03:19,461
it goes for something really important,
like a medical building.

95
00:03:19,462 --> 00:03:21,199
For really handsome doctors.

96
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,906
Whatever it is,
I want her name big and prominent.

97
00:03:23,907 --> 00:03:24,780
My name?

98
00:03:24,781 --> 00:03:27,366
The Rory Gilmore political science building.

99
00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:29,730
The Rory Gilmore anthropology building.

100
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:30,643
Uh, guys?

101
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,183
The Rory Gilmore cultural center.

102
00:03:32,184 --> 00:03:33,961
The Rory Gilmore auditorium.

103
00:03:33,962 --> 00:03:35,807
Can I interject for just a second?

104
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:36,855
Go ahead. I dare you.

105
00:03:36,856 --> 00:03:40,086
While I think it's very generous of both
of you to want to do this for me...

106
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,167
The Rory Gilmore observatory.

107
00:03:42,168 --> 00:03:45,761
...I still go to Yale, so having something
with my name on it might be kind of--

108
00:03:45,762 --> 00:03:48,202
The Rory Gilmore center for
international affairs.

109
00:03:48,203 --> 00:03:51,182
Oh, wait-- the Rory Gilmore library.

110
00:03:51,183 --> 00:03:53,157
- And art gallery.
- And ancient-history museum.

111
00:03:53,158 --> 00:03:55,302
Forget it,
kid-- grandma and grandpa have gone bye-bye.

112
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,995
The Rory Gilmore medical research laboratory.

113
00:03:56,996 --> 00:03:59,304
No that sounds like monkey testing,
people will pick it!

114
00:04:54,529 --> 00:04:57,531
So, any one of the physical therapists
on the list will do? Right, Doctor?

115
00:04:57,532 --> 00:04:59,381
- They're all at the same level?
- They're all top-notch.

116
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,754
- That's if I need a physical therapist.
- Hush, you.

117
00:05:01,755 --> 00:05:04,901
And you said lots of rest,
but is complete bed rest safest?

118
00:05:04,902 --> 00:05:07,211
You cannot confine me to a bed.
That's a violation of my civil rights.

119
00:05:07,212 --> 00:05:07,807
Hush, you.

120
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,482
You need to monitor his progress.
Everyone recovers at different speeds.

121
00:05:10,483 --> 00:05:13,698
And when you say,
"plenty of fluids," does hot tea count,
or just water?

122
00:05:13,699 --> 00:05:14,635
He likes hot tea.

123
00:05:14,636 --> 00:05:16,510
You got to stop talking about
me as if I'm not here.

124
00:05:16,511 --> 00:05:17,739
- Logan...
- Mom...

125
00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:19,957
Tea's fine. Water and juice are better.

126
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:21,580
And this wheelchair's absolutely necessary?

127
00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:22,604
Hospital policy, sir.

128
00:05:22,604 --> 00:05:24,005
Just till you get out of the building.

129
00:05:24,008 --> 00:05:26,819
- Can we at least go faster?
- No, you'll get G-forces.

130
00:05:26,817 --> 00:05:29,157
Doctor, can I go home to your house?
I think I'd have much more fun there.

131
00:05:29,158 --> 00:05:31,810
You're in good hands.
Just call if you have any more questions.

132
00:05:31,811 --> 00:05:33,593
I will. Thank you, Dr. Schultz.

133
00:05:33,796 --> 00:05:36,982
Okay, so, I cut off an old lady
with a handicap sticker,

134
00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:38,976
so we got a primo spot right out front.

135
00:05:38,977 --> 00:05:42,344
Colin is meeting us at the apartment to
help me get you upstairs and in bed,

136
00:05:42,345 --> 00:05:44,923
and it's a little cold outside,
so you might need a scarf.

137
00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,242
I should have brought you a scarf.

138
00:05:46,243 --> 00:05:47,869
Maybe they have some in the gift shop.
I'll go check.

139
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,286
Actually, there's something going on here.

140
00:05:49,287 --> 00:05:50,974
What, your throat? Is it sore?

141
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,806
Should I go get Dr. Schultz? I mean,
we're here. We might as well--

142
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,621
Thank you for being who I want to
get out of the hospital for.

143
00:05:57,622 --> 00:05:58,371
You're welcome.

144
00:05:58,372 --> 00:05:59,765
And I'm not cold. I'm fine.

145
00:05:59,766 --> 00:06:01,049
- You promise?
- I promise.

146
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,528
Okay, let's go.

147
00:06:03,671 --> 00:06:05,040
We get to go at my speed.

148
00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:07,087
Wake me when we hit the door.

149
00:06:08,505 --> 00:06:10,111
This is a lawsuit!

150
00:06:10,112 --> 00:06:13,500
You do not fool with people's
heads and bodies like this!

151
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:15,684
No! You listen! You--

152
00:06:15,685 --> 00:06:17,219
Sookie, emergency-- I'm crashing.

153
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:18,067
Fresh pot over there.

154
00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:20,495
You know you wouldn't treat
Nicole Kidman like this.

155
00:06:20,496 --> 00:06:23,456
Nicole Kidman-- red hair, tall.

156
00:06:23,457 --> 00:06:26,971
Okay, then, Julia Roberts-- you wouldn't
treat Julia Roberts like this.

157
00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:28,809
Red hair, tall.

158
00:06:28,810 --> 00:06:31,050
Okay, then, Scarlett Johansson. What are you,
a shut-in?

159
00:06:31,051 --> 00:06:32,381
Why is he prancing?

160
00:06:32,382 --> 00:06:35,180
I will call my lawyer,
and you'll hear from him when I do.

161
00:06:35,226 --> 00:06:37,973
Kiss my tush! Mmm! Damn it!

162
00:06:37,974 --> 00:06:40,308
You can trust nothing and no one ever!

163
00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:41,420
Please stop that, Michel.

164
00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:45,706
Oh, I cannot. I cannot stop this for a very,
very long time.

165
00:06:45,707 --> 00:06:48,226
I buy milk from the organic
dairy down the way.

166
00:06:48,227 --> 00:06:50,286
The nonfat milk has a blue top-- blue.

167
00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:55,357
Today I find out that they have accidentally
been putting red tops on the nonfat milk

168
00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:58,405
and blue on the 2%-- 2%!

169
00:06:58,406 --> 00:07:01,171
For the last two weeks,
I have been drinking 2% milk

170
00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:03,804
in my coffee every single day.

171
00:07:03,805 --> 00:07:05,032
Insert gasp here.

172
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,505
That's two full weeks of two
cups of coffee a day.

173
00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:11,949
It used to be one cup, but then, suddenly,
the coffee started tasting so good,

174
00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:13,868
I added an afternoon jolt,

175
00:07:13,869 --> 00:07:17,809
and now I find out I've been consuming
an extra billion calories a week.

176
00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:20,075
At least it hasn't affected
your ability to do math.

177
00:07:20,076 --> 00:07:21,535
Isn't this bouncing bothering you?

178
00:07:21,536 --> 00:07:24,339
It was, but now it's kind of like
having a Beyoncé video on.

179
00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:26,468
Now I have to burn off all these calories

180
00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:29,400
and I have to deal with 2%-fat-milk
withdrawal--

181
00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:31,150
Michel, why didn't you just
look on the bottle?

182
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:36,038
You just know everything, don't you,
you little miss I-know-everything?

183
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,429
- Hello?
- Hey, gotcha.

184
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:38,764
Yes, you did.

185
00:07:38,765 --> 00:07:40,455
We've been missing each other lately.

186
00:07:40,456 --> 00:07:42,552
Oh, well, things are crazy.

187
00:07:42,553 --> 00:07:45,510
You know, we're totally booked up here,
and Rory has her finals.

188
00:07:45,511 --> 00:07:46,818
You're helping Rory with her finals?

189
00:07:46,819 --> 00:07:49,622
Moral support,
late-night phone calls-- that kind of thing.

190
00:07:49,623 --> 00:07:52,437
And, of course,
Michel got the wrong milk today, so...

191
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,947
Oh, well, I didn't know about Michel's milk.

192
00:07:54,948 --> 00:07:57,885
Okay, so, uh, you heading by the diner today?

193
00:07:57,886 --> 00:08:00,842
No, can't. There's just too much to do here.

194
00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:03,905
Okay, well, then, we'll hook up tonight.

195
00:08:03,906 --> 00:08:07,395
Tonight's a staff meeting,
and attendance is mandatory.

196
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:11,047
It would look pretty weird if the person
who called the meeting didn't show.

197
00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:12,498
There's a staff meeting tonight?

198
00:08:12,499 --> 00:08:13,561
Did you know about a staff meeting?

199
00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:14,568
No, I didn't.

200
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:15,733
I don't have a sitter tonight.

201
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,014
I set up a three-hour session
with my trainer tonight.

202
00:08:18,015 --> 00:08:20,303
I'll have to pay full price
if I cancel this late.

203
00:08:20,304 --> 00:08:21,836
It's like $2 zillion.

204
00:08:21,837 --> 00:08:24,969
Staff meeting, huh? I didn't know you had a
staff meeting tonight. Did it just come up?

205
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:25,927
Pretty much.

206
00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:27,807
Well, I'm sorry I'm not gonna see you.

207
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,173
Yeah, me too.

208
00:08:29,174 --> 00:08:31,712
- So, tomorrow?
- Sure, maybe.

209
00:08:31,713 --> 00:08:32,656
We'll talk in the morning.

210
00:08:32,657 --> 00:08:34,309
Okay. We'll talk in the morning.

211
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:37,675
Okay. Well... bye.

212
00:08:38,322 --> 00:08:40,919
I have to get a babysitter if there's
gonna be a staff meeting tonight,

213
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,896
and Becky, the good one,
is at her grandmother's,

214
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,331
so I'll have to use her crazy goth sister

215
00:08:45,332 --> 00:08:48,045
who wears the snake around her
neck and eats all my eggos.

216
00:08:48,046 --> 00:08:49,888
There's no staff meeting tonight.

217
00:08:49,889 --> 00:08:51,767
Thank god!

218
00:08:51,768 --> 00:08:55,000
If there's no staff meeting tonight,
why did you tell Luke there was?

219
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,541
I don't want to get into it.

220
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:59,790
Sookie!
Just the person I was hoping to see...

221
00:09:00,078 --> 00:09:01,149
alone.

222
00:09:01,150 --> 00:09:04,291
Oh. So, we'll be right back.

223
00:09:06,175 --> 00:09:08,595
Jackson, wait. What is it?

224
00:09:08,914 --> 00:09:10,676
We need complete privacy for this.

225
00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:11,884
For what?

226
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,367
- Smell me.
- What?

227
00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:15,287
Smell me. What do I smell like?

228
00:09:16,357 --> 00:09:19,620
You smell like Jackson and something else.
What is that?

229
00:09:19,621 --> 00:09:22,101
It's not zucchini. It's not sprouts.

230
00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:23,571
It's marijuana.

231
00:09:23,572 --> 00:09:26,536
Yes! Oh, my god!
Jackson, why do you smell like marijuana?

232
00:09:26,537 --> 00:09:29,312
You know that back half-acre that I
haven't planted for a few years,

233
00:09:29,313 --> 00:09:31,329
up on the slope, out of sight, out of mind?

234
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:35,308
Well, I went back there this morning,
and it's a giant field of pot!

235
00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:37,958
Every square inch-- hundreds of plantings.

236
00:09:37,959 --> 00:09:39,825
It looks like Harrison Ford's backyard.

237
00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:40,850
How did this happen?

238
00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:43,022
- The Templeton brothers.
- The Templeton brothers.

239
00:09:43,023 --> 00:09:45,476
They must have planted it
right before I fired 'em.

240
00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:47,502
I told them to weed the back half-acre.

241
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,763
They're not the smartest of fellows.

242
00:09:48,764 --> 00:09:50,344
They were always listening
to the Allman brothers.

243
00:09:50,345 --> 00:09:53,144
We should never hire guys that
listen to the Allman brothers.

244
00:09:53,145 --> 00:09:55,835
What are we gonna do?
It's a full half-acre of marijuana!

245
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:59,997
Shh! We can't keep saying the "M" word.
Someone will overhear.

246
00:09:59,998 --> 00:10:01,022
Right, sorry.

247
00:10:01,023 --> 00:10:02,326
We need a code word.

248
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:04,622
How about "evil crop"?

249
00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:06,190
Something more normal.

250
00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:07,223
Hey, how 'bout "pickles"?

251
00:10:07,224 --> 00:10:08,683
Good. We'll say, "pickles."

252
00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:11,015
Do you realize that at this
moment we are both felons?

253
00:10:11,016 --> 00:10:13,318
Why? We didn't grow the stuff. The pickles!

254
00:10:13,319 --> 00:10:14,723
We didn't grow the pickles! Ha!

255
00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:16,292
But we're in possession.

256
00:10:16,293 --> 00:10:18,694
If the cops came to my field today,
we'd go to jail.

257
00:10:18,695 --> 00:10:21,159
We'd lose everything we own.
We'd lose the kids.

258
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,309
All because of pickles.

259
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,120
I'm gonna send my guys home right now.

260
00:10:24,121 --> 00:10:26,352
I'm gonna single-handedly pull every
last pickle out of there.

261
00:10:26,353 --> 00:10:28,441
- Good. Yes, good-- and do it quick.
- I'll try.

262
00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:29,841
- You're sweating.
- I'm sorry.

263
00:10:29,842 --> 00:10:31,387
- I can't help it.
- It makes you look guilty.

264
00:10:31,388 --> 00:10:32,393
I'll try to stop.

265
00:10:32,394 --> 00:10:36,569
We've got to walk out of this room cool
and calm, just like it's any other day.

266
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:39,090
Cool and calm. Got it.

267
00:10:46,874 --> 00:10:48,414
I'll get you coffee.

268
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,460
What can I get you, Kirk?

269
00:11:27,461 --> 00:11:28,522
What do you think?

270
00:11:28,523 --> 00:11:29,404
About what?

271
00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:30,732
Letting the beard grow.

272
00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,079
Nice. What can I get you?

273
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:35,407
First couple of days,
it was itching like crazy,
but now I'm used to it,

274
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:37,947
although I find myself doing this a lot.

275
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,086
What do you want to eat, Kirk?

276
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:42,034
Last weekend, I accidentally wrote
all over my face with a Sharpie,

277
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,450
and Lulu thought it looked kind of sexy.
That's where I got the idea.

278
00:11:44,451 --> 00:11:46,978
It looks really good, Kirk.
Now, can I take your order?

279
00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:48,999
I'll come back.

280
00:11:49,397 --> 00:11:52,636
- Big brother!
- Hey, you're back, huh?

281
00:11:52,637 --> 00:11:54,866
- How was the fair?
- Oh, amazing.

282
00:11:54,867 --> 00:11:56,758
My jewelry's bigger than ever.

283
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,824
I make it, it sells.

284
00:11:58,825 --> 00:12:02,902
I got all this money now, but I got no
idea what to do with it-- not a clue.

285
00:12:02,903 --> 00:12:04,404
How 'bout putting it in a bank?

286
00:12:04,405 --> 00:12:05,467
There's a thought.

287
00:12:05,468 --> 00:12:07,535
Hey, let me tell you my big, exciting news!

288
00:12:07,536 --> 00:12:08,792
- Uh-oh.
- It's not an uh-oh.

289
00:12:08,793 --> 00:12:11,997
It's good, unless you don't like babies,
in which case it's not so good.

290
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,101
You're pregnant?!

291
00:12:13,102 --> 00:12:15,101
Oh, it was supposed to be a surprise.
Who told you?

292
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,036
You just did.

293
00:12:16,037 --> 00:12:17,618
Wow, I blew my own surprise.

294
00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:19,459
That's great, Liz. It's great, right?

295
00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:21,629
Amazing. I am over the moon.

296
00:12:21,630 --> 00:12:24,669
Well, sit, sit. You're in a delicate state.

297
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:28,112
I am gonna take care of myself this time,
big brother.

298
00:12:28,113 --> 00:12:30,647
I'm gonna do all the healthy
things for me I did not do

299
00:12:30,648 --> 00:12:33,405
last time I was pregnant,
like not binge drink.

300
00:12:33,406 --> 00:12:36,500
Good plan. So, where's T.J.? I mean,
he must be thrilled about this.

301
00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:37,417
Ah, he's gone.

302
00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:39,505
Gone? You mean gone out of town?

303
00:12:39,506 --> 00:12:42,766
He's gone-- the big "gone out of my
life." Do you have matzo brie?

304
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:44,331
What? Liz, no.

305
00:12:44,332 --> 00:12:46,474
Okay. How 'bout a Denver omelet?

306
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,987
No. I mean, "no, T.J.
can't be gone." He's your husband.

307
00:12:48,988 --> 00:12:51,455
Since when does that keep guys from leaving?

308
00:12:51,456 --> 00:12:53,541
- He's left you?
- He's left.

309
00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:56,141
How can you be so calm about this?
You're so calm.

310
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,717
Because I got my new come-what-may
philosophy.

311
00:12:58,718 --> 00:12:59,363
Your what?

312
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:03,818
My philosophy.
It's about accepting what comes your way,
whatever it is.

313
00:13:03,819 --> 00:13:06,595
If a bus is heading right at you,
let it come.

314
00:13:06,596 --> 00:13:11,207
If a piece of space junk comes hurtling
down at you, let it come.

315
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,401
Or you step out of the way.

316
00:13:12,402 --> 00:13:16,138
You know, that's probably better,
and when I said what I said now,
it felt wrong.

317
00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:17,467
Did he know you were pregnant?

318
00:13:17,468 --> 00:13:18,595
I'd just told him.

319
00:13:18,596 --> 00:13:20,815
So he ran out on his wife and child?!

320
00:13:20,816 --> 00:13:22,812
You're getting mad over nothing.

321
00:13:22,813 --> 00:13:24,001
It's not nothing.

322
00:13:24,002 --> 00:13:26,125
Well, I need you to stay calm,

323
00:13:26,126 --> 00:13:29,570
because right now it's all about the baby,

324
00:13:29,571 --> 00:13:31,429
and it's all good.

325
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,779
Really.

326
00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:34,586
Come what may.

327
00:13:34,587 --> 00:13:36,894
All right, fine. Whatever. It's all good.

328
00:13:36,895 --> 00:13:39,618
Now, baby and I would like that omelet.

329
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,969
Coming up.

330
00:13:43,051 --> 00:13:46,239
Metaphase, anaphase, telophase.

331
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,016
Paris?

332
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:48,487
Male reproductive tract.

333
00:13:48,488 --> 00:13:49,182
What?

334
00:13:49,183 --> 00:13:52,344
Seven up-- seminiferous tubules, epididymis,
vas deferens,

335
00:13:52,345 --> 00:13:55,541
ejaculatory duct, nothing, urethra, penis.

336
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:56,568
What are you doing?

337
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,923
Boning up. Pardon the pun.
Got my mcats coming up-- medical school.

338
00:13:59,924 --> 00:14:01,190
I meant, "what are you doing here?"

339
00:14:01,191 --> 00:14:02,047
Looking after you.

340
00:14:02,048 --> 00:14:02,992
Oh, goody.

341
00:14:02,993 --> 00:14:06,097
It's necessary. You seem like the kind
of lunkhead that would get up too soon

342
00:14:06,098 --> 00:14:08,572
and inadvertently push a broken
rib bone into his spleen.

343
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:10,043
Well, hey, there, sleepyhead.

344
00:14:10,044 --> 00:14:11,765
Oh, goody-- a matching set.

345
00:14:11,766 --> 00:14:12,794
You sleep well?

346
00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:13,840
He's watching me, too?

347
00:14:13,841 --> 00:14:14,917
Rory said it would be okay.

348
00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:17,534
Hey, now that you're awake, do you mind
if I switch the TV to the speakers?

349
00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:19,256
They're just about to reunite
with their husbands,

350
00:14:19,257 --> 00:14:21,328
and I'd love to get the full
surround experience.

351
00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:21,928
Who?

352
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,706
The penguins.
You haven't seen the penguin movie?

353
00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:24,786
The penguin movie rocks.

354
00:14:24,787 --> 00:14:26,165
They'll move you, my friend.

355
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,036
So, is it okay?

356
00:14:27,037 --> 00:14:29,075
Hey, mi casa es su casa.

357
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:29,842
Great.

358
00:14:29,843 --> 00:14:31,543
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where do you think you're going, cowboy?

359
00:14:31,544 --> 00:14:33,238
- Nature calls.
- You can't get up.

360
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,788
Rory said you need complete bed rest.
She trusted me with your well-being.

361
00:14:35,789 --> 00:14:37,029
I cannot betray that trust.

362
00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:39,219
Then what's your suggestion
for my current predicament?

363
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:40,664
I'll get the bedpan. Where's your bedpan?

364
00:14:40,665 --> 00:14:41,642
I don't have a bedpan.

365
00:14:41,643 --> 00:14:43,014
- You got tupperware?
- Paris...

366
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,229
- Doyle, watch him.
- Pausing.

367
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,144
Hey, why aren't you asleep?

368
00:14:52,145 --> 00:14:53,347
Because I woke up.

369
00:14:53,348 --> 00:14:54,618
You're supposed to be asleep.

370
00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:57,287
I've been asleep for a week.
My body's bored of sleep.
It wants to do something.

371
00:14:57,288 --> 00:14:59,245
Good thing your body has
no say in the matter.

372
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,160
Hey, boss, you're gonna want to see this.

373
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,094
Hold on a second.

374
00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:03,626
You've got to call off your sentries.

375
00:15:03,627 --> 00:15:04,682
They're there for a reason.

376
00:15:04,683 --> 00:15:06,671
To re-enact their favorite
scenes from "Misery"?

377
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,358
Your kitchen needs organizing!

378
00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:09,810
Yeah, I'll get right on that!

379
00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:11,516
You shouldn't talk loudly.
You'll strain something.

380
00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:14,199
I've got Dina and Moshe Abramowicz
on top of me.

381
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,316
Why is Paris in the kitchen?

382
00:15:15,317 --> 00:15:17,873
- She's looking for a bedpan substitute.
- Oh, dear.

383
00:15:17,874 --> 00:15:19,549
You're really gonna want to see this.

384
00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:20,743
Just leave it, Bill.

385
00:15:20,744 --> 00:15:22,680
But I want to see the look on
your face when you read it,

386
00:15:22,681 --> 00:15:25,009
provided you still have a face
after your head explodes.

387
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:25,692
In a sec.

388
00:15:25,693 --> 00:15:27,701
Rory, look, I love your concern for me.

389
00:15:27,702 --> 00:15:29,540
I love that you're so invested
in my well-being,

390
00:15:29,541 --> 00:15:31,918
but even the doctor said that if I
feel strong enough to move around,

391
00:15:31,919 --> 00:15:33,364
then I should do it. It's good for me.

392
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,445
I don't know that that doctor knows
what he's talking about.

393
00:15:35,446 --> 00:15:37,916
You mean the Johns Hopkins graduate
knows less than you?

394
00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:41,310
I'd kill to get into Johns Hopkins.
Here-- patient's choice.

395
00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:43,585
- Oh, okay if I unpause?
- Unpause.

396
00:15:43,586 --> 00:15:44,897
Here come the penguins.

397
00:15:44,898 --> 00:15:48,371
Look, maybe the doctor knows a little
bit of what he's talking about.

398
00:15:48,372 --> 00:15:49,499
You think?

399
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,710
So I guess get up, but superslow.

400
00:15:51,711 --> 00:15:53,974
It should look like a Monty Python routine,
you're moving so slow.

401
00:15:53,975 --> 00:15:55,562
I'll make John Cleese proud.

402
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,871
And let Doyle help you,
at least the first time, you could get dizzy.

403
00:15:57,872 --> 00:16:00,603
I'll let him help me to the bathroom door,
but I take it from there, Ace.

404
00:16:00,604 --> 00:16:01,623
Fine.

405
00:16:01,624 --> 00:16:03,964
I cannot look at the shot
of the dead baby penguin.

406
00:16:03,965 --> 00:16:05,998
Me neither. Dead people, yes-- not penguins.

407
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,633
- You'll deal with Paris?
- Put her on.

408
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,871
Thank you. Paris?

409
00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:10,834
- Can I look?
- We're clear.

410
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:11,699
Please talk to Rory.

411
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,705
What is so important about
the Wall Street journal?

412
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,503
Oh, you'll see.

413
00:16:14,504 --> 00:16:15,797
- Hey.
- Stand down.

414
00:16:15,798 --> 00:16:16,432
What?

415
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,683
Thank you for sitting with him, but I think
he needs a little less hovering right now.

416
00:16:19,684 --> 00:16:21,354
Warren Beatty Jr. smooth-talk you?

417
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,318
No. Even the doctor said he should
be moving around some.

418
00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:25,792
I think I've been a little overprotective.

419
00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:26,811
Your call.

420
00:16:26,812 --> 00:16:28,818
Have Doyle lend him a shoulder
right now, okay?

421
00:16:28,819 --> 00:16:31,140
Fine. Doyle, give Logan your shoulder.

422
00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:32,259
You got it.

423
00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,505
See you soonish?

424
00:16:33,506 --> 00:16:34,904
Just finishing up here.

425
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,860
Mi shoulder es su shoulder.

426
00:16:39,076 --> 00:16:42,399
Hey, this is very life-affirming,
very penguinesque.

427
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,107
With the soundtrack music
playing like that-- ohh.

428
00:16:45,108 --> 00:16:47,335
- Hurry your soonish.
- I will.

429
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,077
What is it?

430
00:16:49,078 --> 00:16:51,072
I highlighted the appropriate section.

431
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:58,253
Oh, it's going to be a quiet,
slow-burning seethe.

432
00:16:58,389 --> 00:16:59,706
Disappointment.

433
00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:07,990
Right this way, you two.

434
00:17:07,991 --> 00:17:10,899
Having beautiful weather today, no?

435
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:15,517
Let's leave your bags here with
the ever-trustworthy William

436
00:17:15,518 --> 00:17:19,603
and take a little tour of the Inn.

437
00:17:19,604 --> 00:17:21,701
Okay, right this way.

438
00:17:21,702 --> 00:17:27,019
We have one of the finest
restaurants in the area.

439
00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:29,820
- Hello?
- How soon can you get here?

440
00:17:29,821 --> 00:17:31,862
- What?
- How soon can you get here?

441
00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:32,978
Mom, where are you?

442
00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:35,445
Home, of course.
Where else would I be after what happened?

443
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,109
- What happened?
- "What happened?"!

444
00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:38,417
Yes, what happened?

445
00:17:38,418 --> 00:17:41,017
The thing with my eye.
What else would I be talking about?

446
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,285
You're talking about the laser?

447
00:17:42,286 --> 00:17:43,725
The bad lasik.

448
00:17:43,726 --> 00:17:44,829
The lasik went bad?

449
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,081
Your father called you.
Tell me he called you.

450
00:17:47,082 --> 00:17:48,818
- Hold on a sec, mom.
- Lorelai?

451
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:51,193
- Hello?
- Lorelai, it's your father.

452
00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:54,206
I'm unconscionably late with this call.
Blame South Dakota.

453
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,458
Dad, what is going on here?

454
00:17:55,459 --> 00:17:58,874
Your mother's eye surgery went badly.
She's all right, but she can't see a thing.

455
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,368
Well, that doesn't sound all right to me.

456
00:18:00,369 --> 00:18:02,511
It's only temporary. She's on painkillers.

457
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,742
I would have been there myself,
but I was called out of town.

458
00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:06,409
Have you ever been to South Dakota?

459
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,579
It's the most boring state in the nation.

460
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:13,211
As I was flying in, I swear I saw one
of the heads on Mount Rushmore yawn.

461
00:18:13,212 --> 00:18:15,134
She's asking how soon I can be there.

462
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:16,459
Well, that's why I'm calling.

463
00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:19,155
I left her with a battery of help,
but in case it didn't work out,

464
00:18:19,156 --> 00:18:21,453
she wanted me to give you a heads-up
that she might need you.

465
00:18:21,454 --> 00:18:23,105
Well, I don't know if I can get away.

466
00:18:23,106 --> 00:18:26,094
It's her eyes, Lorelai.
She can't do anything or go anywhere.

467
00:18:26,095 --> 00:18:27,961
I understand the importance of eyes, dad.

468
00:18:27,962 --> 00:18:30,248
I got caught up in meetings,
or I would have called sooner.

469
00:18:30,249 --> 00:18:32,522
You wouldn't believe where
I'm sitting right now--

470
00:18:32,523 --> 00:18:34,669
one of South Dakota's finest hotels.

471
00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:35,798
Smells like a foot.

472
00:18:35,799 --> 00:18:37,788
Let me get back to her, dad.
She's on the other line.

473
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:39,653
If you could cover for me, I'd appreciate it.

474
00:18:39,654 --> 00:18:42,297
If she found out I didn't call you,
it would make everything worse.

475
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:43,211
Okay, you got it.

476
00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:45,030
- And check in with me later.
- Yeah.

477
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,661
- Mom?
- Was that your father?

478
00:18:46,662 --> 00:18:48,815
- Did he not call you?
- No, dad called.

479
00:18:48,816 --> 00:18:51,297
I was just distracted before.
So, you need me to pop over?

480
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,613
I'm all alone here, and I desperately
need to run a couple of errands.

481
00:18:54,614 --> 00:18:55,762
And there's no one else?

482
00:18:55,763 --> 00:18:58,685
I don't remember being in labor
for 14 hours with anyone else,

483
00:18:58,686 --> 00:18:59,940
so, no, there's no one else.

484
00:18:59,941 --> 00:19:01,742
Okay. I'll be over.

485
00:19:01,743 --> 00:19:04,475
I'll be waiting-- blind and waiting.

486
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:05,810
Okay, bye.

487
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,046
I don't believe it! I don't believe it!

488
00:19:14,047 --> 00:19:15,940
Who knew that clearing it
would be the easy part?

489
00:19:15,941 --> 00:19:18,307
I had it all down in three hours, no problem.

490
00:19:18,308 --> 00:19:19,506
I don't believe it!

491
00:19:19,507 --> 00:19:22,979
What was I to do? If I put in the garbage,
the garbageman could see it.

492
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:25,460
I know. He looks like a big, fat fink.

493
00:19:25,461 --> 00:19:28,477
And if I put it down the garbage disposal,
it could clog.

494
00:19:28,478 --> 00:19:31,199
We'd have to call a plumber,
and then he could fink on us.

495
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,747
And he would, too. That guy seems like a big,
fat fatty fink.

496
00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:36,658
We can't flush it for the same reason,

497
00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:39,070
and burning it seemed like
a tremendously dumb idea.

498
00:19:39,071 --> 00:19:40,540
You'd get the whole town high.

499
00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:41,825
So what was I to do?

500
00:19:41,826 --> 00:19:43,641
Anything but bring it home!

501
00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:45,315
Then come up with your own idea.

502
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:46,681
I could bake it into brownies.

503
00:19:46,682 --> 00:19:47,933
Then what would we do with the brownies?

504
00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:49,001
I have no idea.

505
00:19:49,002 --> 00:19:51,068
I think that makes it a bad plan.

506
00:19:51,069 --> 00:19:54,730
Is it a better plan than the plan you
couldn't even think of? At least it's a plan.

507
00:19:54,731 --> 00:19:57,375
Hey, we can't turn on each other here.
We're all we've got.

508
00:19:57,376 --> 00:19:58,733
You're right. You're right.

509
00:19:58,734 --> 00:20:00,728
Hey, it's starting to smell up the place.

510
00:20:00,729 --> 00:20:02,321
We've just got to get it out of the house.

511
00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:05,263
Definitely out of the house.
We'll get it out of the house.

512
00:20:06,252 --> 00:20:08,216
But we wait for dark.

513
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,029
Wait for dark.

514
00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:12,800
I could kill him!

515
00:20:12,801 --> 00:20:14,301
You'd have to get in a very long line.

516
00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:15,743
The man should be drawn and quartered.

517
00:20:15,744 --> 00:20:18,152
There's no fast pass for the line either.
You just have to get in there and wait.

518
00:20:18,153 --> 00:20:21,188
Quartering's too good for him.
He should be eighthed, sixteenthed.

519
00:20:21,189 --> 00:20:23,066
I don't know.
You quarter a guy-- he's in four pieces.

520
00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:24,199
That's tough to recover from.

521
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,851
He should be stretched on a rack,
Iron Maiden, strappadoed.

522
00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:28,656
Oh, my god. What is strappadoed?

523
00:20:28,657 --> 00:20:32,100
When you suspend him in the air
with a rope tied to his hands
that are tied behind his back.

524
00:20:32,101 --> 00:20:33,810
You're scaring me with your
knowledge of torture.

525
00:20:33,811 --> 00:20:36,083
I did a paper on the attorney general.
It comes with the territory.

526
00:20:36,084 --> 00:20:37,208
Life in modern America?

527
00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:39,573
Why would the Wall Street journal print this?
Why?

528
00:20:39,574 --> 00:20:42,304
It was an interview with my father.
If he said it, they get to print it.

529
00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:43,722
Even if it's a flat-out lie?

530
00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:44,567
They don't know that.

531
00:20:44,568 --> 00:20:47,654
"I looked for the best and the brightest,
even at the intern level."

532
00:20:47,655 --> 00:20:49,436
Reading it again,
you're just torturing yourself.

533
00:20:49,437 --> 00:20:53,809
"Ben Cochran at Harvard-- he helped me out
with my Boston paper, as did Frank Williams.

534
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:57,842
And Rory Gilmore-- I gave her her first
internship at my Stamford paper,

535
00:20:57,843 --> 00:21:00,433
and now she's the editor
of the Yale Daily News."

536
00:21:00,434 --> 00:21:01,872
It's classic Mitchum.

537
00:21:01,873 --> 00:21:04,537
How dare he?
"I gave her her first internship"?

538
00:21:04,538 --> 00:21:08,556
This is one of dad's things,
Rory-- grabbing credit wherever he can,
whether it's earned or not.

539
00:21:08,557 --> 00:21:10,082
Everyone in America has read this.

540
00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:13,055
The Wall Street journal's readership is high,
but it's not quite 300 million.

541
00:21:13,056 --> 00:21:14,389
Well, enough people have read it.

542
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:17,891
Look, the beauty of a daily paper-- it's in
everybody's recycling bin the next morning.

543
00:21:17,892 --> 00:21:19,023
This will be forgotten.

544
00:21:19,024 --> 00:21:20,394
- It won't.
- It will.

545
00:21:20,395 --> 00:21:24,197
I remember everything I read-- front page,
op-ed, concert reviews-- it never leaves.

546
00:21:24,198 --> 00:21:27,204
My eyes accidentally flit over an obituary,
I'm hunting for the metro section,

547
00:21:27,205 --> 00:21:31,194
and I can remember the deceased's first
wife's name a full month afterward.

548
00:21:31,195 --> 00:21:33,663
I mean, and that's just a flit,
not even a perusal.

549
00:21:33,664 --> 00:21:37,564
If I perused it, I could give you his
grandkids in alphabetical
order five years later.

550
00:21:37,565 --> 00:21:39,517
Ace, Ace, you drinking this in?

551
00:21:39,518 --> 00:21:40,185
What?

552
00:21:40,186 --> 00:21:42,192
Helen Keller just signed water, Annie.

553
00:21:42,193 --> 00:21:43,122
You walked!

554
00:21:43,123 --> 00:21:44,988
All by my lonesome. You proud of your boy?

555
00:21:44,989 --> 00:21:47,561
I'm very proud.
Oh, and your color's coming back.

556
00:21:47,562 --> 00:21:49,217
You've gone from white to off-white.

557
00:21:49,218 --> 00:21:51,197
Hey, can we get to the bottom
line on this article here?

558
00:21:51,198 --> 00:21:51,978
Give it to me.

559
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:54,282
It's all good.
It's very positive what he said to you.

560
00:21:54,283 --> 00:21:57,295
A powerful man is citing you as one of his
accomplishments it's in no way it dis.

561
00:21:57,296 --> 00:21:58,070
I know.

562
00:21:58,071 --> 00:22:00,165
It's actually a good thing,
so you should let it go.

563
00:22:00,166 --> 00:22:01,375
Never!

564
00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:06,766
Hello?

565
00:22:11,350 --> 00:22:12,582
Mom?

566
00:22:13,054 --> 00:22:14,559
In here.

567
00:22:14,782 --> 00:22:18,121
Oh, I'm sorry. Mrs. Onassis,
I was looking for my mother.

568
00:22:18,122 --> 00:22:22,756
Will you at least promise to keep your comedy
set at my funeral to under five minutes?

569
00:22:22,757 --> 00:22:24,493
Sorry, mom. How are you feeling?

570
00:22:24,494 --> 00:22:27,749
Horrible.
That quack eye surgeon blinded me for life.

571
00:22:27,750 --> 00:22:29,355
I don't think he blinded you for life.

572
00:22:29,356 --> 00:22:31,867
Well, he blinded me for the next two days,
at least.

573
00:22:31,868 --> 00:22:33,744
The procedure was a disaster.

574
00:22:33,745 --> 00:22:36,289
He did one eye and then announced
that the new procedure

575
00:22:36,290 --> 00:22:39,603
didn't comport to the anatomy of my eye,
so he had to resort to the old procedure,

576
00:22:39,604 --> 00:22:41,285
which I absolutely did not want.

577
00:22:41,286 --> 00:22:43,005
'Cause it's so last year.

578
00:22:43,006 --> 00:22:46,251
And, of course, he wouldn't go near the other
eye until he saw how this one healed.

579
00:22:46,252 --> 00:22:47,367
Well, that makes sense.

580
00:22:47,368 --> 00:22:50,331
And then Dr. Mengele told me to rest
and is having me put eyedrops in

581
00:22:50,332 --> 00:22:52,919
every hour, further impeding my vision.

582
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,789
And to top it off,
the man looked nothing like Marcus Welby.

583
00:22:55,790 --> 00:22:57,288
Okay, mom, where are all the people?

584
00:22:57,289 --> 00:22:58,062
What people?

585
00:22:58,063 --> 00:23:00,889
Dad made it seem like you were
surrounded by a small army--

586
00:23:00,890 --> 00:23:04,120
you know, enough people to care for you,
then go topple Saddam's statue.

587
00:23:04,121 --> 00:23:05,147
They're all gone.

588
00:23:05,148 --> 00:23:05,960
Gone where?

589
00:23:05,961 --> 00:23:08,944
To hell, I hope-- one person more
incompetent than the rest.

590
00:23:08,945 --> 00:23:10,788
But all of them? The nurse?

591
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:13,393
They'll do a "60 minutes" on that
woman one day. Mark my words.

592
00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:14,554
Uh, housekeepers?

593
00:23:14,555 --> 00:23:16,034
Ate everything that wasn't nailed down.

594
00:23:16,035 --> 00:23:17,174
The errand boys?

595
00:23:17,175 --> 00:23:19,552
Their pants hung down below their underwear,

596
00:23:19,553 --> 00:23:22,190
and no one was worse than
the driver he got me.

597
00:23:22,191 --> 00:23:23,758
Have you ever met the cab drivers in Prague?

598
00:23:23,759 --> 00:23:24,388
Uh, no.

599
00:23:24,389 --> 00:23:26,675
Well, they would hide their
wallets from this man.

600
00:23:26,676 --> 00:23:28,635
Plus I think he had a gun in his pocket.

601
00:23:28,636 --> 00:23:30,493
Maybe he was just happy to see you.

602
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:32,454
Lorelai, up.

603
00:23:33,326 --> 00:23:36,246
It doesn't matter anyhow.
I'm fine getting my own food,

604
00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:37,602
and I don't need people underfoot.

605
00:23:37,603 --> 00:23:40,576
I called the agency,
and a new maid will be here tomorrow morning,

606
00:23:40,577 --> 00:23:43,660
but I need to run some errands today,
and, obviously, I can't drive.

607
00:23:43,661 --> 00:23:44,646
You'll have to do that.

608
00:23:44,647 --> 00:23:46,339
- Do what?
- Drive me.

609
00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:49,162
Uh, no mom. Why don't you just give me the
list of errands and I'll do them for you?

610
00:23:49,163 --> 00:23:51,825
No, it would take too much explanation.
Grab my bag, please.

611
00:23:51,826 --> 00:23:54,271
Mom, seriously,
what kind of errands are they?

612
00:23:54,272 --> 00:23:56,206
Shopping, banking, hardware store?

613
00:23:56,207 --> 00:23:58,213
I need to get my coat first.

614
00:23:58,288 --> 00:24:03,444
Mom, is it dealing in human trafficking?
'Cause I'm an excellent people person.

615
00:24:07,839 --> 00:24:10,141
Mom, mom, you've got to look up.

616
00:24:10,142 --> 00:24:12,681
I can't look up. The sun causes searing pain.

617
00:24:12,682 --> 00:24:14,528
Mom, the sun can't even find
you under that hat.

618
00:24:14,529 --> 00:24:17,786
If we put that hat on frosty the snowman,
he'd be living in Miami right now.

619
00:24:17,787 --> 00:24:19,914
You're a very insensitive person,
you know that?

620
00:24:19,915 --> 00:24:21,397
Yes, I do. Here we go.

621
00:24:21,398 --> 00:24:22,382
What is this?

622
00:24:22,383 --> 00:24:23,489
This is my car.

623
00:24:23,490 --> 00:24:25,145
We can't go in this.
We have to take the other car.

624
00:24:25,146 --> 00:24:25,900
What other car?

625
00:24:25,901 --> 00:24:28,355
No, mom, that's not a car.
That's a rap-video set.

626
00:24:28,356 --> 00:24:31,411
I ordered it specially.
It has the darkest windows available.

627
00:24:31,412 --> 00:24:33,884
They say it's the car Jay-Z
uses when he's in town.

628
00:24:33,885 --> 00:24:36,196
I assume that's an entertainer of some sort.

629
00:24:36,197 --> 00:24:37,728
The windows are bulletproof.

630
00:24:37,729 --> 00:24:39,550
They kept saying that as
if it's a selling point.

631
00:24:39,551 --> 00:24:42,401
I told them I was not paying extra
for bulletproof windows.

632
00:24:42,402 --> 00:24:44,003
I haven't been strafed in years.

633
00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:46,426
Mom, I don't understand. What do you mean,
we'll take this car?

634
00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:47,467
I thought the driver left.

635
00:24:47,468 --> 00:24:48,083
He did.

636
00:24:48,084 --> 00:24:49,574
- Is there another one coming?
- No.

637
00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:51,601
- Well, who's gonna drive?
- You are.

638
00:24:51,602 --> 00:24:53,206
- I can't drive that.
- Why not?

639
00:24:53,207 --> 00:24:56,167
Because, look at it. I'm sure you need
a special license or something.

640
00:24:56,168 --> 00:24:58,095
Lorelai, I cannot ride in your jeep.

641
00:24:58,096 --> 00:25:00,142
It's completely exposed to the elements.

642
00:25:00,143 --> 00:25:02,808
You do remember that I'm recovering
from surgery, don't you?

643
00:25:02,809 --> 00:25:03,972
No, really? I thought you were just doing

644
00:25:03,973 --> 00:25:06,612
your best Mia Farrow in "Broadway
Danny Rose" impersonation.

645
00:25:06,613 --> 00:25:08,496
Lorelai, I need my prescriptions.

646
00:25:08,497 --> 00:25:10,985
If I don't get my prescriptions,
infection will set in,

647
00:25:10,986 --> 00:25:12,914
and I will lose my eyesight completely,

648
00:25:12,915 --> 00:25:15,209
and you will be doing this
more than just today.

649
00:25:15,210 --> 00:25:16,820
Now, what's it going to be?

650
00:25:18,772 --> 00:25:21,151
Ridiculous Sarah Bernhardt overdramatic--

651
00:25:21,152 --> 00:25:23,081
My hearing's just fine, Lorelai.

652
00:25:23,082 --> 00:25:24,381
Sorry.

653
00:25:38,844 --> 00:25:40,474
Hey, Luke, what are you doing here?

654
00:25:40,475 --> 00:25:41,430
You know why I'm here. Get up.

655
00:25:41,431 --> 00:25:42,280
- What?
- Get up!

656
00:25:42,281 --> 00:25:43,157
Okay.

657
00:25:43,158 --> 00:25:46,643
Now, I am not here to listen
to you explain your side

658
00:25:46,644 --> 00:25:49,182
or rationalize things or
justify your actions.

659
00:25:49,183 --> 00:25:53,524
I am here for one reason
only-- to punch you out.

660
00:25:54,184 --> 00:25:56,777
Hey, cool. You see that?
That was like an old western

661
00:25:56,778 --> 00:25:59,391
where everyone cleared the bar.
I never seen that in person.

662
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:01,101
Don't be cute. Just get ready to be hurt.

663
00:26:01,102 --> 00:26:02,604
- Damn.
- What?

664
00:26:02,605 --> 00:26:04,335
I just wish I was drinking faster.

665
00:26:04,336 --> 00:26:06,886
'Cause if I was more drunk,
getting punched out wouldn't hurt so much.

666
00:26:06,887 --> 00:26:08,168
Just shut up and let's do this.

667
00:26:08,169 --> 00:26:08,952
Go ahead.

668
00:26:08,953 --> 00:26:10,405
- Well, get ready.
- I'm ready.

669
00:26:10,406 --> 00:26:11,996
- Raise your arms or something.
- No.

670
00:26:11,997 --> 00:26:13,362
I'm not gonna punch you like this.

671
00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:15,322
- I thought that's why you came.
- I came to fight.

672
00:26:15,323 --> 00:26:16,681
- Let's do it.
- Then raise your arms!

673
00:26:16,682 --> 00:26:18,088
- No!
- T.J.!

674
00:26:18,089 --> 00:26:20,880
I'm not hitting you, Luke.
I got nothing against you.

675
00:26:20,881 --> 00:26:24,213
Plus there's no fighting inside.
It's Lanny's top rule,

676
00:26:24,214 --> 00:26:25,970
along with no burning down the place.

677
00:26:25,971 --> 00:26:27,126
That actually comes first.

678
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,227
Well, then, let's take it outside.

679
00:26:28,228 --> 00:26:30,596
Luke, let me ask you one question,
really quick,

680
00:26:30,597 --> 00:26:32,502
and then you can take me
outside and clobber me.

681
00:26:32,503 --> 00:26:33,547
Okay, what?

682
00:26:33,548 --> 00:26:35,415
What the hell is this about?

683
00:26:35,479 --> 00:26:38,365
You're unbelievable! It's about Liz!

684
00:26:38,366 --> 00:26:39,753
What about her?

685
00:26:39,754 --> 00:26:42,217
- Is she all right?
- All right? You walked out on her!

686
00:26:42,218 --> 00:26:43,519
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.

687
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,686
That's why you're here drinking
in the afternoon.

688
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:48,391
That's not why I'm here drinking.
I'm drinking because I'm upset.

689
00:26:48,392 --> 00:26:49,548
You're upset?!

690
00:26:49,549 --> 00:26:51,611
You abandoned Liz and your baby!

691
00:26:51,612 --> 00:26:54,336
Hey, I would never do that.
I love your sister, Luke.

692
00:26:54,337 --> 00:26:56,795
- She threw me out.
- That's not what she said.

693
00:26:56,796 --> 00:26:58,619
We came home from the fair. It was great.

694
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:00,610
We were both happy. We made money.

695
00:27:00,611 --> 00:27:03,871
Then Liz goes to the doctor, and she comes
home and tells me she's pregnant.

696
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:06,643
I hug her. I kiss her. I'm crying,
I'm so happy.

697
00:27:06,644 --> 00:27:08,491
Then I turn to grab the phone
to tell the family,

698
00:27:08,492 --> 00:27:10,502
and an ashtray hits me in
the back of the head--

699
00:27:10,503 --> 00:27:11,896
then a phone book and a stapler

700
00:27:11,897 --> 00:27:14,437
and our statue of a happy clown
playing the saxophone.

701
00:27:14,438 --> 00:27:15,322
I'm not getting this.

702
00:27:15,323 --> 00:27:18,558
And she's yelling at me, saying things like,
"this ain't gonna work.

703
00:27:18,559 --> 00:27:21,391
You're gonna mess this kid up.
You can't raise a kid."

704
00:27:21,392 --> 00:27:23,960
She's saying,
"this kid will grow up with no discipline.

705
00:27:23,961 --> 00:27:26,763
It'll get out of control.
Then we'll end up having to send it away."

706
00:27:26,764 --> 00:27:29,344
I tell her she's wrong.
I tell her I'll do whatever's needed.

707
00:27:29,345 --> 00:27:30,903
I'll read every book on the subject,

708
00:27:30,904 --> 00:27:34,152
even though I hate reading worse
than I hate public television.

709
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:36,414
But Liz won't hear it. She tells me to go.

710
00:27:36,415 --> 00:27:37,252
She told you to go?

711
00:27:37,253 --> 00:27:39,095
So I packed a bag and left.

712
00:27:39,096 --> 00:27:42,410
I didn't want to,
but Liz is always right about everything,

713
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:45,650
and if my staying around is gonna
screw up the kid like that,

714
00:27:45,651 --> 00:27:47,288
I'm gone, no questions asked.

715
00:27:47,289 --> 00:27:49,431
Oh, jeez, Liz.

716
00:27:49,432 --> 00:27:51,449
- What?
- Have a seat, T.J..

717
00:27:51,450 --> 00:27:52,939
Give me a beer.

718
00:27:53,225 --> 00:27:55,326
Listen, T.J....

719
00:27:56,124 --> 00:27:58,490
Liz wasn't talking to you when
she was saying all that stuff.

720
00:27:58,491 --> 00:28:00,579
She was talking to herself.

721
00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:03,255
I'm pretty sure she was talking to me.
She kept saying my name.

722
00:28:03,256 --> 00:28:05,431
No, when she said you were
gonna mess up the baby,

723
00:28:05,432 --> 00:28:06,713
she was saying something else.

724
00:28:06,714 --> 00:28:08,858
Just take out the "you." Make it an "I."

725
00:28:08,859 --> 00:28:10,472
She meant you're gonna screw up the baby?

726
00:28:10,473 --> 00:28:11,747
No, she meant she was.

727
00:28:11,748 --> 00:28:13,534
- And I was.
- No, just her.

728
00:28:13,535 --> 00:28:15,544
Then why didn't she throw
the ashtray at herself?

729
00:28:15,545 --> 00:28:17,217
Because she was taking it out on you.

730
00:28:17,218 --> 00:28:19,006
Oh. This is complicated.

731
00:28:19,007 --> 00:28:20,347
That's because people are.

732
00:28:20,348 --> 00:28:22,119
Sometimes they just don't say what they mean.

733
00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:24,224
Yeah, I hate that.
It's hard enough following them

734
00:28:24,225 --> 00:28:25,893
when they're talking about what
they're talking about.

735
00:28:25,894 --> 00:28:28,997
Yeah, that's the trick with relationships,
believe me.

736
00:28:28,998 --> 00:28:33,281
Look, you have to try to tune
in what your partner means

737
00:28:33,282 --> 00:28:35,877
as opposed to what she's actually saying.

738
00:28:35,878 --> 00:28:39,354
They sometimes won't tell
you how they're feeling,

739
00:28:39,476 --> 00:28:44,460
but your job is to try to figure out what
she's saying from what she actually says.

740
00:28:44,536 --> 00:28:46,126
- Wow.
- Yeah.

741
00:28:46,526 --> 00:28:48,148
I got none of that.

742
00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:52,428
It's okay. It's all gonna be okay.

743
00:28:52,662 --> 00:28:54,280
I'm gonna make this okay.

744
00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:00,095
Ah, sorry.

745
00:29:00,096 --> 00:29:01,334
Lorelai, be careful.

746
00:29:01,335 --> 00:29:04,359
I'm not used to driving a missile
silo down the street.

747
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,810
Oh, stop being so dramatic.

748
00:29:06,811 --> 00:29:10,136
Yeah, wouldn't want to be dramatic.

749
00:29:10,137 --> 00:29:12,672
All right, get over here.
You're going to turn right.

750
00:29:13,573 --> 00:29:15,239
Aaah! Sorry!

751
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,045
Lorelai!

752
00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:18,282
Well, it's a big freakin' car, mom.

753
00:29:18,283 --> 00:29:20,058
You're gonna give me a heart attack.

754
00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:22,517
Mom, please, how long is this gonna go on?

755
00:29:22,518 --> 00:29:25,827
You won't tell me where we're going.
You give me block-by-block instructions.

756
00:29:25,828 --> 00:29:28,259
My goodness, Lorelai.
You've been complaining since we got started.

757
00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:29,149
No, I haven't.

758
00:29:29,150 --> 00:29:30,875
When we had to go to three
different drugstores?

759
00:29:30,876 --> 00:29:31,920
Well, come on.

760
00:29:31,921 --> 00:29:33,262
I don't trust generic.

761
00:29:33,263 --> 00:29:34,736
Mom, it's the same thing.

762
00:29:34,737 --> 00:29:39,113
If I'm willing to pay full price, then
I deserve to have my drug
bottle say "valium" on it.

763
00:29:39,114 --> 00:29:39,721
Fine.

764
00:29:39,722 --> 00:29:42,453
- I don't see why that's insane.
- Fine.

765
00:29:44,663 --> 00:29:46,291
So, have you talked to Christopher lately?

766
00:29:46,292 --> 00:29:48,498
Uh, no, not lately lately.

767
00:29:48,499 --> 00:29:49,386
I have.

768
00:29:49,387 --> 00:29:50,811
Well, bully for you.

769
00:29:50,812 --> 00:29:54,774
You know, your father and I enjoyed our
little sit-down with him very much.

770
00:29:54,775 --> 00:29:56,406
Oh, I'm glad.

771
00:29:56,407 --> 00:29:59,036
You know, I'd forgotten what a
handsome man Christopher is.

772
00:29:59,037 --> 00:30:01,607
He was wearing a very nice blue tie.

773
00:30:01,608 --> 00:30:03,556
And his hair is very short.

774
00:30:03,557 --> 00:30:05,950
Normally, I don't like a
man's hair that short.

775
00:30:05,951 --> 00:30:09,461
It makes him look like a convict or a
masseuse, but I think it works on him.

776
00:30:09,462 --> 00:30:11,270
Yeah, I'm sure it does.

777
00:30:11,271 --> 00:30:13,029
He seemed lonely, though.

778
00:30:13,030 --> 00:30:13,668
What?

779
00:30:13,669 --> 00:30:15,129
He's not dating anyone. I asked.

780
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:16,921
- Well, he's got G.G..
- Who's G.G.?

781
00:30:16,922 --> 00:30:18,168
His daughter, mom.

782
00:30:18,169 --> 00:30:20,488
Oh, well, we didn't discuss that.

783
00:30:20,489 --> 00:30:22,531
But I could tell he was lonely.

784
00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:24,563
I'm sure he's fine.

785
00:30:24,564 --> 00:30:27,646
You know, I've been racking my brain, trying
to think of a nice girl to set him up with.

786
00:30:27,647 --> 00:30:30,408
Cezanne Moriarty just got divorced,
and she looks wonderful.

787
00:30:30,409 --> 00:30:32,030
She'd go perfectly with his hair and tie.

788
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:34,581
Cezanne Moriarty is 10 years
older than Christopher.

789
00:30:34,582 --> 00:30:36,305
Lorelai, you were in the same class together.

790
00:30:36,306 --> 00:30:39,172
I know. It's 'cause she was stupid.
We used to call her "moroniarty."

791
00:30:39,173 --> 00:30:42,644
Well, Loretta Singer's husband just died.
She'll be back from Bali soon.

792
00:30:42,645 --> 00:30:44,495
- She's got a horse face.
- Not anymore.

793
00:30:44,496 --> 00:30:45,676
She's not his type, mom.

794
00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:47,144
What about Brandi Covington?

795
00:30:47,145 --> 00:30:49,910
She's a lovely girl with a
wonderful sense of humor.

796
00:30:49,911 --> 00:30:52,065
- "A wonderful sense of humor"?
- Yes.

797
00:30:52,066 --> 00:30:54,112
What joke has Brandi Covington ever told?

798
00:30:54,113 --> 00:30:54,933
Well, I don't know.

799
00:30:54,934 --> 00:30:57,689
Well, she has a wonderful sense of humor.
So tell me one of her jokes.

800
00:30:57,690 --> 00:30:58,526
I don't know any.

801
00:30:58,527 --> 00:30:59,953
An amusing anecdote she's told?

802
00:30:59,954 --> 00:31:01,101
I don't know, Lorelai.

803
00:31:01,102 --> 00:31:02,946
- A giggle-inducing pun.
- Lorelai.

804
00:31:02,947 --> 00:31:04,736
Dirty limericks, song parody.

805
00:31:04,737 --> 00:31:06,250
Well, she has a lovely laugh.

806
00:31:06,251 --> 00:31:09,464
Oh, so she does not have a
wonderful sense of humor,

807
00:31:09,465 --> 00:31:11,860
she can appreciate a wonderful
sense of humor.

808
00:31:11,861 --> 00:31:12,952
I guess that's right.

809
00:31:12,953 --> 00:31:14,779
Fine, tell me a joke she's laughed at.

810
00:31:14,780 --> 00:31:15,850
You're being impossible.

811
00:31:15,851 --> 00:31:17,822
Mother, Christopher can get his own girls.

812
00:31:17,823 --> 00:31:20,362
Now, he's busy with G.G.,
but when the time is right, he'll date.

813
00:31:20,363 --> 00:31:23,173
Just sit back and let me drive.

814
00:31:24,362 --> 00:31:26,135
Rory thinks he's lonely, too.

815
00:31:26,799 --> 00:31:29,318
I'm in a tank, pal! Come and get me!

816
00:31:31,486 --> 00:31:34,870
Sheila's out today, so warn Mark that
there's going to be an unexpected,

817
00:31:34,871 --> 00:31:37,840
enormous pile of annoyance on his
desk and just to deal with it.

818
00:31:37,841 --> 00:31:39,006
Hello?

819
00:31:39,367 --> 00:31:41,402
Yes, hello. Is this Kimberly Wells?

820
00:31:41,403 --> 00:31:42,135
Yes, it is.

821
00:31:42,136 --> 00:31:43,577
Thank you for taking my call, Ms. Wells.

822
00:31:43,578 --> 00:31:44,430
Call me "Kimberly."

823
00:31:44,431 --> 00:31:46,882
Okay, Kimberly, the reason I'm calling is...

824
00:31:46,883 --> 00:31:48,733
Something to do with my interview
with Huntzberger, right?

825
00:31:48,734 --> 00:31:50,641
Yes, it has to do with that.

826
00:31:50,642 --> 00:31:51,847
Give 'em hell, Harry.

827
00:31:51,848 --> 00:31:53,103
So, what's this about?

828
00:31:53,104 --> 00:31:55,209
I'm calling to request a correction.

829
00:31:55,211 --> 00:31:56,493
Oh, to what?

830
00:31:56,494 --> 00:31:58,504
To everything that Mitchum said about me.

831
00:31:58,505 --> 00:32:00,648
I'm looking at the piece now.

832
00:32:00,649 --> 00:32:02,042
He didn't say much about you.

833
00:32:02,043 --> 00:32:03,562
Hmm. Well, that's the thing--

834
00:32:03,563 --> 00:32:06,150
he didn't use many words, but he said a lot.

835
00:32:06,151 --> 00:32:09,335
"And Rory Gilmore-- I gave her her first
internship at my Stamford paper,

836
00:32:09,336 --> 00:32:11,392
and now she's editor of the Yale Daily News."

837
00:32:11,393 --> 00:32:12,388
What part of that is wrong?

838
00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:15,542
None of it, technically, but essentially,
it's all a lie.

839
00:32:15,543 --> 00:32:17,707
Did he give you an internship at
the Stamford Eagle-Gazette?

840
00:32:17,708 --> 00:32:18,439
Yes, he did, but--

841
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,498
And are you not editor of
the Yale Daily News?

842
00:32:20,499 --> 00:32:23,858
Well, I am, actually, but it's the impression
he left that he gave me my start.

843
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,585
He did not give me my start.

844
00:32:25,586 --> 00:32:28,800
Tell her if a correction's not appropriate,
maybe a clarification is.

845
00:32:28,801 --> 00:32:29,676
That's dumb.

846
00:32:29,677 --> 00:32:30,537
Doesn't hurt to ask.

847
00:32:30,538 --> 00:32:31,224
Hello?

848
00:32:31,225 --> 00:32:33,949
Sorry. I got distracted.
Um, here's the thing--

849
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:37,136
Mitchum is depicting me as one
of the feathers in his cap.

850
00:32:37,137 --> 00:32:38,481
I am not one of his feathers.

851
00:32:38,482 --> 00:32:41,729
Yes, but here's our thing-- we can't
print corrections to impressions.

852
00:32:41,730 --> 00:32:42,677
That would be chaos.

853
00:32:42,678 --> 00:32:44,656
Even if the impression is wildly misleading?

854
00:32:44,657 --> 00:32:47,050
Again, that's an impression.
We don't correct impressions.

855
00:32:47,051 --> 00:32:48,566
I see.

856
00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:51,283
- What about a clarification?
- Good girl.

857
00:32:51,284 --> 00:32:53,526
- We don't do those either.
- I see.

858
00:32:53,733 --> 00:32:54,786
I really need to run.

859
00:32:54,787 --> 00:32:57,240
You know, it's just gonna bug me forever
that he put this out there.

860
00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:58,477
That's showbiz.

861
00:32:58,478 --> 00:33:00,762
Okay, you're right.

862
00:33:00,763 --> 00:33:04,018
I mean, I guess it's gonna be in people's
recycling bins by tonight

863
00:33:04,019 --> 00:33:05,590
and totally forgotten by tomorrow, right?

864
00:33:05,591 --> 00:33:07,427
Actually, I always hope that
the stuff I work so hard on

865
00:33:07,428 --> 00:33:09,451
isn't just totally forgotten the next day.

866
00:33:09,452 --> 00:33:12,474
Oh, yeah, well, me too. I mean,
back at you, sister.

867
00:33:12,475 --> 00:33:13,914
Um, thank you for your time.

868
00:33:13,915 --> 00:33:15,030
Wait, wait.

869
00:33:15,031 --> 00:33:16,993
Could you hold on a second, please? What?

870
00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:19,271
Ask her if there are any
internships available.

871
00:33:19,272 --> 00:33:20,940
Thank you for your time.

872
00:33:23,611 --> 00:33:27,579
I tell him to clear the plates,
and he's like, "I'm tired.
I've been on my feet all day."

873
00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:29,677
And I'm like, "I don't care if you've
been on your feet all day

874
00:33:29,678 --> 00:33:31,974
at that crappy job that doesn't pay enough

875
00:33:31,975 --> 00:33:34,689
that we can even go to Dollywood
once in a while."

876
00:33:34,690 --> 00:33:38,439
Yeah, that's not good-- not
going to Dollywood.

877
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:39,702
It's rude.

878
00:33:39,703 --> 00:33:41,699
He could have taken one of his city tests,

879
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,793
and maybe he could have been
a cop or something--

880
00:33:43,794 --> 00:33:46,252
not that he could fire a gun straight.

881
00:33:46,253 --> 00:33:49,759
I kick his ass at the shooting
range every time.

882
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,307
Yeah, the yin of it, the yang of it.

883
00:33:53,308 --> 00:33:55,603
- Liz?
- Oh, hey, big brother.

884
00:33:55,604 --> 00:33:57,010
Excuse me, girls.

885
00:34:00,453 --> 00:34:01,914
Um, who are they?

886
00:34:01,915 --> 00:34:06,641
They're the support group of single moms
I hooked up with. They're horrible!

887
00:34:06,642 --> 00:34:09,724
All they do is bitch, bitch, bitch.
I'd have left every one of them, too.

888
00:34:09,725 --> 00:34:11,180
So, Liz...

889
00:34:11,572 --> 00:34:13,608
Look at me. Now, listen.

890
00:34:13,609 --> 00:34:14,565
I'm listening.

891
00:34:14,566 --> 00:34:18,433
You are gonna be a great mother to this kid.

892
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:20,213
- What?
- You heard me.

893
00:34:20,214 --> 00:34:22,392
You're in the best shape you've ever been.
You've got money.

894
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:25,771
Jess turned out fine.
Your son turned out fine.

895
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:27,824
- He's doing great.
- Yeah, but--

896
00:34:27,825 --> 00:34:31,508
Put your fears aside. I know you can do this.

897
00:34:31,931 --> 00:34:33,560
- I'm scared.
- But you've got help.

898
00:34:33,561 --> 00:34:35,169
You've got a good man. He loves you.

899
00:34:35,170 --> 00:34:37,730
He's gonna be a great dad, if you let him.

900
00:34:37,731 --> 00:34:39,732
If he'll forgive me.

901
00:34:45,914 --> 00:34:47,045
T.J..

902
00:34:47,046 --> 00:34:48,450
He was too afraid to come inside.

903
00:34:48,451 --> 00:34:51,415
- He's not wearing a jacket.
- I told him to bring a jacket.

904
00:34:51,416 --> 00:34:52,957
He's always forgetting his jacket.

905
00:34:52,958 --> 00:34:55,997
All right, he needs you,
you need him-- now go to him.

906
00:34:55,998 --> 00:35:00,707
Make up, go home, okay? Go home with T.J..

907
00:35:00,830 --> 00:35:02,511
Thanks, Luke.

908
00:35:04,965 --> 00:35:06,353
Where are you going, Liz?

909
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:07,854
My man's here.

910
00:35:08,411 --> 00:35:11,838
Oh, yeah. Looks like a real winner.

911
00:35:11,839 --> 00:35:15,526
So, can I get you ladies
anything-- compassion, perspective?

912
00:35:28,905 --> 00:35:30,320
Okay, mom, what's next?

913
00:35:30,321 --> 00:35:31,701
You don't have to say it like that.

914
00:35:31,702 --> 00:35:34,242
I just spent the last hour and a half
watching you get a manicure.

915
00:35:34,243 --> 00:35:36,146
It's my standing appointment, Lorelai.

916
00:35:36,147 --> 00:35:38,806
Yeah, except I was the one standing
'cause there weren't enough seats.

917
00:35:38,807 --> 00:35:41,560
Well, if I'd missed that appointment,
it would be weeks before I could get another,

918
00:35:41,561 --> 00:35:43,484
I'd be walking around with hobo hands.

919
00:35:43,485 --> 00:35:45,785
Now, stop being so surly.
This is the last stop.

920
00:35:45,786 --> 00:35:48,261
Great. You realize we're in Beacon Falls?

921
00:35:48,262 --> 00:35:48,949
So what?

922
00:35:48,950 --> 00:35:51,427
So we've driven almost as
far as Stars Hollow.

923
00:35:51,428 --> 00:35:53,145
Now I'll have to drive you all
the way back to Hartford.

924
00:35:53,146 --> 00:35:55,663
Well, I'm sorry, Lorelai.
Next time I have some sort of illness,

925
00:35:55,664 --> 00:35:58,411
you can put me on an iceberg and
float me out to sea. Let's go.

926
00:35:58,412 --> 00:36:00,087
This is a real-estate office.

927
00:36:00,088 --> 00:36:02,365
What errand do you have to run
at a real-estate office?

928
00:36:02,366 --> 00:36:03,159
Are you coming?

929
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,329
Am I coming with you to
the real-estate office?

930
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,650
Don't forget to lock the door.
I'm leaving my bananas here.

931
00:36:07,651 --> 00:36:11,012
Mom, why are we going to a
real-estate office? Mom!

932
00:36:16,009 --> 00:36:19,149
- Excuse me. I'm--
- Emily?

933
00:36:19,305 --> 00:36:22,537
Lorene, hi. I'm sorry if we're late.

934
00:36:22,538 --> 00:36:25,860
I had this awful surgery yesterday,
and today has been a nightmare.

935
00:36:25,861 --> 00:36:27,376
Oh, I hope you're feeling all right.

936
00:36:27,377 --> 00:36:30,779
Oh, she's fine. Dragging that cross
around made her a little tired.

937
00:36:30,780 --> 00:36:32,306
Lorene, this is my daughter, Lorelai.

938
00:36:32,307 --> 00:36:34,223
She has headaches,
and that tends to make her babble.

939
00:36:34,224 --> 00:36:36,108
Oh, I'm sorry. Can I get you some aspirin?

940
00:36:36,109 --> 00:36:39,093
Oh, no, thanks. I'm okay.
I've had the headache for 38 years.

941
00:36:39,094 --> 00:36:40,929
We are anxious to see those pictures.

942
00:36:40,930 --> 00:36:41,932
What pictures?

943
00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:45,254
All right. Well, follow me.
I have the whole presentation ready for you.

944
00:36:45,255 --> 00:36:46,476
What presentation?

945
00:36:46,477 --> 00:36:47,932
Lorene, how are your twins?

946
00:36:47,933 --> 00:36:50,272
They are going to be seniors next fall.

947
00:36:50,273 --> 00:36:51,492
They grow up so fast, don't they?

948
00:36:51,493 --> 00:36:53,550
Like weeds.
What presentation are we looking at?

949
00:36:53,551 --> 00:36:54,832
Here we are.

950
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:57,250
So, I talked to the owner,

951
00:36:57,251 --> 00:37:00,831
and he said that they would be willing
to throw in any of the furniture

952
00:37:00,832 --> 00:37:04,006
or appliances that we might like-- completely
up to you.

953
00:37:04,007 --> 00:37:05,384
Well, that's wonderful.

954
00:37:05,385 --> 00:37:08,672
Why is that wonderful? Why is throwing in
furniture and appliances wonderful, mom?

955
00:37:08,673 --> 00:37:09,528
Go on, Lorene.

956
00:37:09,529 --> 00:37:11,253
Anyhow, the pictures are pretty complete,

957
00:37:11,254 --> 00:37:15,536
but I can get us in this weekend if you would
like to take a closer look yourself.

958
00:37:15,537 --> 00:37:17,756
Do you, mom?
Do you want to take a closer look?

959
00:37:17,757 --> 00:37:22,058
This is only the second time that this house
has been on the market in 100 years.

960
00:37:22,059 --> 00:37:26,397
It's got 5 bedrooms,
4 1/2 baths with a library, a sun porch.

961
00:37:26,398 --> 00:37:29,415
It's on 3 acres with a very small
what they call a fishing hole,

962
00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:34,589
which is really a little pond,
but it's very charming,
and it has stables for horses.

963
00:37:34,590 --> 00:37:35,852
I thought so.

964
00:37:35,853 --> 00:37:40,003
The roof is in good shape, but I think that
the plumbing will need some updating.

965
00:37:40,004 --> 00:37:44,551
But the sellers are motivated,
and I think it's a pretty special property.

966
00:37:44,552 --> 00:37:45,714
I do, too.

967
00:37:45,715 --> 00:37:47,166
Don't you?

968
00:37:47,238 --> 00:37:48,524
Lorelai?

969
00:37:48,525 --> 00:37:49,613
Are you breathing?

970
00:37:49,614 --> 00:37:51,818
Why are you looking at this house, mom?

971
00:37:51,879 --> 00:37:53,117
Would you give us a minute?

972
00:37:53,118 --> 00:37:55,889
Of course.
I'll be right over here if you need me.

973
00:37:56,897 --> 00:37:58,714
Well, what do you think?

974
00:37:59,204 --> 00:38:02,050
Mom, please, tell me what is going on.

975
00:38:02,051 --> 00:38:04,824
I will tell you what's going on
as soon as you tell me honestly

976
00:38:04,825 --> 00:38:06,189
what you think of this house.

977
00:38:06,190 --> 00:38:08,409
- I think it's fine.
- "Fine"?!

978
00:38:08,410 --> 00:38:10,655
Mom, it doesn't look like your
type of house at all.

979
00:38:10,656 --> 00:38:12,813
I did not ask if you thought
it was my type of house.

980
00:38:12,814 --> 00:38:14,626
I asked what you thought of the house.

981
00:38:14,627 --> 00:38:17,382
Well, I think it's a beautiful house.

982
00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:19,087
So do I.

983
00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:20,945
You already have a beautiful house, mom.

984
00:38:20,946 --> 00:38:23,477
Oh, I know. This house is not for me.
It's for you.

985
00:38:23,478 --> 00:38:25,050
- Me?
- You and Luke.

986
00:38:25,051 --> 00:38:29,370
Now, before you get your nose out of joint
and accuse me of interfering, hear me out.

987
00:38:29,371 --> 00:38:33,478
I think your house is very nice.
I know you've put a lot of work into it.

988
00:38:33,479 --> 00:38:35,922
But, Lorelai,
it's too small for the two of you,

989
00:38:35,923 --> 00:38:37,369
especially when you have children--

990
00:38:37,370 --> 00:38:39,068
if you have children, I mean.

991
00:38:39,069 --> 00:38:41,967
A man needs his own space and room,

992
00:38:41,968 --> 00:38:43,922
and Luke does not have that at your house.

993
00:38:43,923 --> 00:38:46,040
Also, I know you've always wanted horses,

994
00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:49,207
so I thought something with a little
property might be nice.

995
00:38:49,208 --> 00:38:53,586
Now, I know it's not actually in Stars
Hollow, but it's right on the border.

996
00:38:53,587 --> 00:38:58,272
It's only an extra 10 minutes to the Inn
and an extra 5 minutes to the diner.

997
00:38:58,273 --> 00:39:00,589
Plus I did a little nosing around,

998
00:39:00,590 --> 00:39:04,654
and I heard that if you grease the palm of
the Stars Hollow zoning commissioner,

999
00:39:04,655 --> 00:39:07,242
a man named Taylor Doose,

1000
00:39:07,243 --> 00:39:09,652
you can get him to change property lines,

1001
00:39:09,653 --> 00:39:13,426
so we can give you a Stars Hollow address
if it's really important to you.

1002
00:39:13,736 --> 00:39:15,768
You want to buy us a house?

1003
00:39:16,766 --> 00:39:19,336
Well, I know you're not going
to let me give you a wedding,

1004
00:39:19,337 --> 00:39:21,450
so I thought a house would do.

1005
00:39:21,451 --> 00:39:23,486
All that running around Stars Hollow,

1006
00:39:23,487 --> 00:39:25,442
you and dad were looking for a house for me?

1007
00:39:25,443 --> 00:39:28,001
Well, of course.
You didn't think we wanted to live there,
did you?

1008
00:39:28,002 --> 00:39:30,307
Small-town charm is good
for a weekend, Lorelai,

1009
00:39:30,308 --> 00:39:34,613
but I have no interest in having a next-door
neighbor walk in with a pie, wanting to chat.

1010
00:39:34,614 --> 00:39:37,274
I would kill myself and my neighbors.

1011
00:39:37,275 --> 00:39:39,682
Now, I'm sure Luke will need some convincing.

1012
00:39:39,683 --> 00:39:43,838
He doesn't look like the kind of man who
willingly takes extravagant
gifts from people,

1013
00:39:43,839 --> 00:39:46,648
so I've concocted a few good
lies we can tell him.

1014
00:39:46,649 --> 00:39:49,662
It's for his own good,
and once the two of you in the house--

1015
00:39:49,663 --> 00:39:51,350
It's not gonna happen.

1016
00:39:51,351 --> 00:39:52,670
What?

1017
00:39:52,671 --> 00:39:54,203
Well, of course it will.

1018
00:39:54,204 --> 00:39:56,404
If we have to pay more than the asking price,

1019
00:39:56,405 --> 00:39:58,541
your father and I are totally prepared--

1020
00:39:58,542 --> 00:40:00,020
Luke and I--

1021
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,216
the wedding--

1022
00:40:02,893 --> 00:40:04,646
it's not gonna happen.

1023
00:40:05,981 --> 00:40:07,451
What?

1024
00:40:26,207 --> 00:40:27,797
- Jackson!
- Keep up.

1025
00:40:27,798 --> 00:40:29,159
Stop trotting.

1026
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:30,489
We're on a mission here.

1027
00:40:30,490 --> 00:40:34,732
The faster we move, the more chance
there is we'll draw attention.

1028
00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:39,521
No, the slower we move, the more time there
to have people's attention drawn to us.

1029
00:40:39,522 --> 00:40:41,162
I'm toting heavy bags here.

1030
00:40:41,163 --> 00:40:42,148
Don't say that out loud.

1031
00:40:42,149 --> 00:40:43,504
I didn't say what was in the bag.

1032
00:40:43,505 --> 00:40:45,662
And not saying what's in the bag
is going to make people think

1033
00:40:45,663 --> 00:40:47,643
that we have something in it we're hiding.

1034
00:40:47,644 --> 00:40:48,918
Narcs!

1035
00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:55,092
What the hell are the Petersons
doing out this late?

1036
00:40:55,093 --> 00:40:57,683
They're bad. They're bad people.

1037
00:40:57,684 --> 00:41:00,427
Said the people trying to
ditch a kilo of weed.

1038
00:41:00,428 --> 00:41:02,963
- Sookie, the code word!
- Pickles, pickles!

1039
00:41:02,964 --> 00:41:07,421
I know-- the pickles!
Let's just get rid of this and go home.

1040
00:41:09,065 --> 00:41:11,488
- Oh, god.
- Oh, hey, you two. What's up?

1041
00:41:11,489 --> 00:41:12,988
- Nothing.
- Nothing's going on here.

1042
00:41:12,989 --> 00:41:14,335
I just got the most incredible news.

1043
00:41:14,336 --> 00:41:16,803
A tour manager was walking around town,
and he heard me sing,

1044
00:41:16,804 --> 00:41:19,434
and he asked me to open for Neil Young
on a bunch of east coast dates.

1045
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:20,905
- Great.
- See you.

1046
00:41:21,927 --> 00:41:23,922
- That was close.
- Does Neil toke?

1047
00:41:23,923 --> 00:41:26,860
We could give all of this to the
town troubadour to give to him.

1048
00:41:26,861 --> 00:41:28,519
I think if he tokes,
he's already got a connection.

1049
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,421
Of course. He's Neil Young.

1050
00:41:30,983 --> 00:41:32,527
Reverend Skinner.

1051
00:41:32,528 --> 00:41:34,048
- Rabbi Moranz.
- Hello, you two.

1052
00:41:34,049 --> 00:41:35,437
What are you doing out this late?

1053
00:41:35,438 --> 00:41:37,136
Yeah, what are you doing out this late?

1054
00:41:37,137 --> 00:41:39,133
Archie and I like to take a stroll
around town at night.

1055
00:41:39,134 --> 00:41:39,986
It's so quiet.

1056
00:41:39,987 --> 00:41:41,293
Good time to talk about philosophy.

1057
00:41:41,294 --> 00:41:42,438
Good time to talk about God.

1058
00:41:42,439 --> 00:41:44,385
Yes, it's a great time to talk about God.

1059
00:41:44,386 --> 00:41:45,544
He's a good guy, that God.

1060
00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:47,493
- Would you like to join us?
- No!

1061
00:41:48,639 --> 00:41:51,120
- We're going to hell.
- Just keep running.

1062
00:41:52,341 --> 00:41:53,323
Who is it?

1063
00:41:53,324 --> 00:41:54,628
Me.

1064
00:41:56,739 --> 00:41:57,554
Hey.

1065
00:41:57,555 --> 00:41:58,962
What are you doing here?

1066
00:41:58,963 --> 00:41:59,933
Can I come in?

1067
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,086
Of course.

1068
00:42:01,087 --> 00:42:02,382
Come on in.

1069
00:42:03,099 --> 00:42:04,369
Can we get you something?

1070
00:42:04,370 --> 00:42:08,577
Um, no, thanks.
I just need to hang out for a while.

1071
00:42:09,010 --> 00:42:11,165
- Sit, honey.
- Yeah, sit.

1072
00:42:11,166 --> 00:42:12,605
Thanks.

1073
00:42:28,564 --> 00:42:30,198
What's that smell?

1074
00:42:30,199 --> 00:42:32,606
68 pounds of marijuana.